anonymous asked:

How can I become a bird?

Option 1: Several million years of highly selective breeding

Pros: Low demand, high return.

Cons: …Eventually. 

Conclusion: Very worth it, for your (great)800  grandchild. The real deal. Possibility of ending up with mammalian scansoriopterygids along the way. 10/10 would recommend. 

Option 2: Several thousand dollars worth of gear and training

Pros: Immediate returns. 

Cons: Possibility of death. Even worse, people take you for some kind of winged mammal instead. Horrible

Conclusion: Totally worth being poor as heck and dead. Won’t survive long enough to further your species, so who cares what your offspring might think. 10/10 would definitely.

Option 3: 

Pros: Well

Cons: Yikes

Conclusion: Maybe………………………………. don’t.

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