weirdly handsome

listen,, i just can’t get over the fact that kent ‘once met ryan reynolds and he told him he was pretty’ parson is canonically one of the least chill people ever

honestly can you imagine him meeting tater at a bar after a game and tater who doesn’t have a single vindictive bone in his body slinging a very warm and muscley arm over kent’s shoulders and going, ‘little rat!! you win this time, next time i get you, yes??’

and meanwhile kent’s mind is just going, ‘you can get me right this goddamn second jesus flippity christ on a bicycle pick me up and fold me like a fuckin origami swan shit why is that sexy he’s so big abort abORT’ while playing a slo-mo slideshow of tater picking him up one-handed to the gentle strains of ‘gimme more’

and he kind of?? squeaks??? in response but really, tater is right there and he’s all nice smelling and weirdly handsome with his big nose and slightly wonky jaw and kent is kind of freaking out. at the same time tater is watching the blush spread under kent’s freckles and that’s the moment he decides, yes very good i’m going to keep this one

Until We Meet Again - Taehyung Scenario

another one! 

AFF

Summary: If you kiss him, he’ll disappear forever.

Word Count: 1,743




Bare fists clenched by your sides as the familiar stinging in your eyes started to well up in tears, you took a deep breath in, storming out the front door.

You were the type to hold things in, hold things in and hold things in and hold things in until your chest would feel so tight, so full that it ached. But you still held everything in. Crying was a weakness. You crying would label you as weak and you didn’t want another label to be stuck with your other ones. Since the moment your dad was laid off, the carefree lifestyle you had changed a hundred and eighty degrees.

You moved to a smaller city, to a smaller house… and you were completely fine with that.

You liked the small neighbourhood with the park nearby your house and the dog you passed by on the way to school everyday.


School.


Moving meant having to make new friends, having to make good first impressions. Trust your luck for you to meet the popular girl’s boyfriend on day one, him outwardly flirting with you along the way to class and causing the girl to flare up in jealousy.


Words hurt.


You bit back your tears as you entered the secluded area of the park, feeling the tiny scars from proper nouns and additional bits of broken eggshells along with mucus-y liquid, slowly, slowly starting to close up. That area was your safe haven. A place where rarely anyone but the park sweepers visit, a place where there was your trusty bench under the huge tree that gave you shade and warmth and every other thing you lacked in life.


Life.


Leaning your head back against the bench, you swallowed, letting the salty drops flow down your cheeks in streams.

Life would be nice if it was like the good dreams you occasionally had the pleasure of having.

Your eyelids drooped as you breathed in the scent of fallen leaves and shaky hopes.


Life would be nice if you dreamed a good dream and never woke up.




“Oh no.”

More shuffling could be heard as the voice got closer to your ear. Damp eyes still shut tight, you furrowed your eyebrows, hoping that whoever decided to sit beside a crying girl would get the message and leave.

“Why are you crying?”

You felt no more tears building up as your frown deepened at the low voice.

The voice sighed before continuing, “Well I can’t do anything so I’ll just stay here until you feel better.”

Eyebrows still furrowed - this time in confusion rather than annoyance, you opened your eyes, turning your head to the right to see a boy around your age, shock plastered onto his face as your eyes looked straight into his.

Despite your shitty thoughts of suicide and death and never waking up, you couldn’t help but notice the art that was inches away from you. Long lashes, lovely eyes, perfectly sculpted lips…

Tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip, the boy let out a shaky breath.


Can you see me?


Finally letting words flow out of you, you eyed the handsome boy weirdly, “Of course I can see you?”

The shock on the boy’s face startled you, goosebumps unknowingly forming on your arms. After what seemed like minutes, the boy swallowed, lips parting. “You can hear me too?”

“Of course I can.” Although dumbfounded, you couldn’t help your curious mind. “Am I not supposed to-”

“Oh my God.”

You watched as the boy stood up, backing himself a step away from you. He bit his lip, “Don’t be afraid okay?”

“What?”

“I’m… not human.”


When your expression looked like you’d seen a mad man, the boy gave an exasperated sigh. “I’m a ghost. That’s why I’m shocked that you can see me… and hear me.” You saw his cheeks turn a bit pink.

Ghosts could blush?


“I-”

“But you look so real?” You stood up, stepping closer towards him, making the boy’s eyes go wide.

“You’re not… scared?”


Why weren’t you scared?


You simply looked down, “I’m too numb to be scared.”


The boy stooped down, face tilting up from below to look at you. He gave you the sweetest smile you’d seen in a long, long time. “I would buy you ice-cream but I can’t so… care to tell me what’s wrong?”




The first thing the boy asked you when your butts met the bench was why patches of your school uniform had damp parts and bits of shells stuck on them - causing you to let your guard down in front of the stranger, the streaks on your cheeks repainted with new streams. That in turn caused the boy to apologise profusely, constantly blabbering nonsense while whining that he shouldn’t have asked you that and that he felt so, so bad.


Kim Taehyung made you laugh for the first time in months.


The next day you found yourself walking towards your haven with rare light steps, smile unconsciously spouting when you saw the boy there, eyes closed and cheek squished against the wood. That day he followed you home, earning you curious glances from people and murmurs along the lines of ‘why is she talking to herself?’, filling the journey with laughter and boxy smiles.






“That’s it.” Taehyung huffed for the million time that day, resisting the urge to kick the blanket draped over him. “I’m going to school with you tomorrow.”

“You are not.”

Taehyung pouted at the girl placing her tattered bag on the ground. “I am.”

“Can we please change the subject.” You sighed, tossing yourself onto your bed, letting your head rest on the boy’s shoulder.

Fingers went in between yours, soft breaths entering your ears. “Okay.”

Looking at your intertwined hands, you wondered for the umpteenth time since you met the boy, how a ghost could feel so human. “How was today?”

There was a moment of silence - which was rare - before Taehyung’s deep voice filled the room. “I met another ghost today.”

“You did?” You sat up, weary of the foreign tone replacing the male’s usually eager one.

“Yeah.” Taehyung’s eyes followed you - desperate almost.


You waited for him to continue, the grip becoming tighter.


“The ghost wasn’t like me, Y/N. He was translucent.” His voice turned anxious. “He didn’t know I was a ghost until I approached him and… and he asked me whether I remembered anything.”

Taehyung and you never got into the topic of his past before. How he… died and became what he was. Seeing him so scared caused your heart to ache in a different way. You stroked the back of his hand with your thumb.

He looked at the joined hands, calming down for a bit. “I told him I didn’t remember anything.”

“…You don’t?”

The male shook his head, cheerless eyes looking into yours. “He told me that…” He let out a harsh sigh. “That I can’t do a certain thing. If I do that, then…” He gazed at you. “I’ll disappear and never come back.”


Your heart stopped at his words. Disappearing would mean Taehyung would be gone from your life. The guy who made sure to greet you with smiles as bright as sunshine, who would insist in going to school with you every time you came home with a frown on your face, who would whine whenever you had to do your homework and not talk to him for hours but stayed by your side throughout the entire time. The guy who had been there for you when you fell off the tight-rope of life to effortlessly lift you up and keep you standing on the unsteady line would be-

“What can’t you do?” Your hunted expression went unnoticed, feeling Taehyung pull you into a tight hug. The tears that you hadn’t felt for a long, long time reappeared as you buried your nose into his neck, arms wrapping around him. “I’ll make sure you won’t do it so you won’t ever have to go.”

You felt the hands on your sides move up to your cheeks, the warmth peeling off of you. Cupping your cheeks, Taehyung leaned his face so, so close towards yours, thumbs gently wiping the stains off your face. Giving you a sad smile, he mumbled, “You can’t stop me from doing it.”

Before you could even answer, he gave a choked sob. “I love you too much I don’t know how I can stop myself from kissing you.”

You let out a whimper at his words, tears never ending as he looked at you with so much affection and longing, fingers moving down to graze your lips.


I love you.” Taehyung whispered, lips quivering, “So, so much.”

Looking pass the blurry film of salty liquid, you wholeheartedly breathed, “I love you too.

Glistening eyes and warm smiles, breath ghosting over your lips, he so tenderly murmured, “Until we meet again.”




It was no doubt that life turned back upside down when the boy that stuck beside you for months vanished into thin air, his only remains being your swollen lips and intangible memories - leaving you longing for more.

It was that night that you found yourself up in the early hours of the morning, typing up the name you so loved in the search box.

You almost cried when you saw the familiar boxy grin, frantically clicking on the facebook profile, finding family members and contact numbers.




Oh you’re his friend?


Legs trembling, you jumped off the bus, dashing towards the building.


No actually, he was in a coma.


Zooming past glass doors, you hurried towards the counter, cold sweat dripping down your forehead. Panting, you asked the alarmed nurse, “Where’s Kim Taehyung?”


But he woke up yesterday!


Hand gripping the handle of room 405, you took a deep breath full of hopes and dreams and unsaid words, slowly opening the door.



Unfamiliar faces, curious eyes, and shocked gasps. Your gaze fell on the boy with the boxy smile, wide beaming eyes filled with surprise, happiness, and eagerness mixed in between.




“Oh no.”


Voice and sobs muffled by your hand, you carefully walked towards the boy, people parting to give way.


The boy grinned, feeling his eyes well up as well. “Why are you crying?”


You couldn’t help the smile forming on your face at his words.


I would buy you ice-cream but I can’t so… care to tell me what’s wrong?

soooldout  asked:

I want to know your 5 favorite myungsoo pics pleeeease? (I could never pick, just any 5 at random would be my faves really)

As many of you may know by now, Myungsoo is my handsome and precious son who makes me proud every day and I adore him. Pretty much every picture of Myungsoo is my favourite so this is just 5 that I like today. Let’s go!

1. tell him he looks sexy with his hair pushed back ( © LECIL )

2. myungsoo + guitar = otp ( © L’aile )

3. his dimples are so important omfg help me those sandals gotta go though honey wyd ( 3rd pic © Apricity )

4. even when he’s trying to be ugly he’s still weirdly handsome??? 

5. he is naturally this handsome too like whattt????? he’s never had surgery yet looks like he walked out the pages of a manga actual flowerboy for life wthhhh??? gorgeous boy

wow myungsoo is so nice to look at like i feel at peace god bless

BONUS WOOSOO: cuties 

anonymous asked:

Please indulge me, what would bokuaka's soul mate words be?

okay so something you may not know about me is how much i don’t believe in soulmates. 


There was a man already seated at the table by the window. Their agreed upon spot. Akaashi recognized him from the photo the dating service had provided anyway. His sleeves were rolled back to reveal muscled forearms completely devoid of the spiraling lines of script. Words that were so common that their absence was noteworthy.

Words that covered his own. A single Thai phrase: ประทานโทษ. Excuse me. 

She’d said it when he bumped into her, though he should have seen her, considering the brilliant color of her head scarf. But he’d been distracted by a consultation with a donor he’d been called in to deal with. 

“ごめんなさい” had been his automatic response. His distracted brain then had realized two things. The first was his arm had started tingling. The second was that the woman had turned with a look like he’d simultaneously hung and shattered the moon. 

His soulmate. Kamilah.

They’d gotten coffee, her traveling companions sitting in the next booth, ooohing and aaahing over the day’s purchases. Her English had been as flawless as her skin, and the first thing she’d said, calmly and bluntly, was that she wasn’t interested. 

(He wasn’t either, but it still hurt.)

Sensing his hurt, she’d listed her reasons, more and more rapidly as each one came up. She was training to be a doctor. She wanted to help people in Thailand. She had no interest in leaning Japanese. She would not ask her soulmate to leave his home. She wanted to marry a Muslim man, and believed the bond of soulmates was not as powerful as that of the choice to love. 

“I want to marry a man as well,” Akaashi had announced when she stopped to take a breath.

“Oh,” she’d exhaled, tears in her eyes,  “what a relief.” 

They had exchanged contact information though neither of them would ever make contact, then Akaashi had made a list of Tokyo sights worth seeing. He’d briefly introduced himself to her friends. They’d left. He’d made his way to the museum, probably late for his meeting. 

And now here he was, two weeks later, meeting someone whose soulmate had died. It wasn’t clear even to him why he’d gone so quickly. It wasn’t like he’d ever expected to meet his soulmate, let alone have them be a gay man. But he’d found himself mourning the loss of a straight woman anyway, and the best way to move on was to meet someone else.

Moving on was weirdly handsome, in a wild, borderline grotesque kind of way. His hair stood on end, and it was silver with strands of black, like snowflake obsidian. It was interesting, and Akaashi liked interesting. He also looked loud, which Akaashi liked less.

The man saw him, and stood up and waved. 

“Oi, Akaashi!” his voice was nasally and rough and obnoxious and interesting

He took one step forward. Then a second. And the phantom burn of “ประทานโทษ” eased into a gentle twinge.

Keep reading

Bleach characters, you just learned that Kurotsuchi has been the big bad of Bleach this whole time! Your reactions?


As requested by anon. :)


In my big bad series, we imagine that various Bleach characters have just been revealed as Bleach’s secret, ultimate big bad. So what would happen if Kurotsuchi turned out to have been the big bad of Bleach this whole time? How would everybody react? 


Ishida: Oh my goodness. How will I ever contain my surprise.


Ishida: You mean that the guy who tortured a sweet old man to death and then showed photographs of the old man’s mutilated body (which he apparently carried around in his robe) to the sweet old man’s grandson is somehow EVIL?


Ishida: I will never recover from the shock of this revelation.


Szayel: You’re super right, Quincy!


Szayel: I mean, the guy was always really humane.


Szayel: Why, when he killed his enemies, he NEVER used experimental drugs to ensure that their death lasted for thousands of years in personal time, thus dragging out their torture for a seemingly infinite span and driving them into helpless madness. 


Renji: Good point, espada!


Renji: He also never used his “daughter” as bait, forcing her to undergo pain, humiliation, and near-death just to make his job easier.


Ishida: Nor is he the sort of guy who would stomp on her spine if she were to ask for medicine because she was dying.


Renji: DEFINITELY not!


Renji: He’d never “accidentally” poison the people he was there to save, either!


Ishida: Ha ha, no way!


Ishida: That would be evil!


Hitsugaya: And he’d never, EVER use experimental drugs on his fellow captains when they were unable to consent.


Matsumoto: Wouldn’t raise a zombie army, either.


Hitsugaya: Oh no. Never that. 


Hiyori: And it’s not as though he was in JAIL before he joined the Gotei-13, right? And it certainly wasn’t the sort of jail where they put people deemed to be WAY TOO DANGEROUS to be roaming free!


Rukia: Yeah! And even if he was in jail, he was freed by Urahara Kisuke, and that guy has NEVER “accidentally” helped the bad guys!


Rukia: Like, the sort of guy who creates a super dangerous device and then “hides” it in the body of Aizen’s coworker is NOT the sort of guy who would ever decide to make somebody evil his successor….right?


Kira: And it’s not as though Kurotsuchi has ever slaughtered thousands of innocents without permission in the name of “balance.”


Kira: Because anybody who did that would no longer be captain, am I right?


Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: He never blows up his own subordinates, either.


Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: He probably doesn’t even know HOW to turn a human being into a bomb.


Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: And even if he did, that certainly wouldn’t be his FIRST plan to capture a couple of ryoka! ‘Cause that would be crazy evil!


Akon: Never spies on people either.


Akon: No secret cameras originating from Squad 12, no sir.


Urahara: And even if he were a little evil, it’s not as though he’s also smart!


Urahara: Why, the words “evil genius” never come within a hundred yards of ol’ Mayuri!


Unohana: I imagine he would never so much as threaten to lock his coworker and a teenager in a garganta, “just to see what would happen.”


Unohana: Not a man like Kurotsuchi. 


Byakuya: Plus, if you wish to know how good he is, you have only to look at the manifestation of his soul.


Byakuya: A poisonous monster-baby with spikes coming out of its neck?


Byakuya: That is the mark of a man who is both sane and good. 


Ukitake: So, um, how did that guy remain captain for so long?


Kyoraku:


Kyoraku: The Gotei-13 doesn’t have a ton of oversight.

Marco’s Understated Crush on Ax’s Human Morph Tho

“Ax, you could be either a really pretty guy, or a kind of unattractive girl,” I said

- #5: The Predator

I glanced at Ax. He was in his human morph. His human morph is made up of DNA gathered at the same time from all of us except Tobias. There’s some of Jake and Rachel and Cassie and me in Ax’s human shape. In the end result he’s male, but almost as pretty as a girl.

- #10: The Android

“There is perhaps one other alternative,” Ax said. He was in his weirdly handsome/pretty human morph. He’d created the morph by taking DNA from Jake, Rachel, Cassie, and me. To this day it’s weird, looking at him and seeing elements of myself joined with elements of Rachel, Cassie, or Jake.

- #20: The Discovery

Ax’s human morph is a combination of DNA from me, Jake, Rachel, and Cassie. Together we make one disturbingly beautiful person.

- #25: The Extreme

At this moment Ax was in his human morph, a strangely attractive DNA combination of me, Jake, Rachel, and Cassie.

- #35: The Proposal

What if Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy joined Squad 5 instead?


As requested by anon. :)


Ah, Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy. He was a young officer who had a crush on Hinamori and wanted to join Squad 5, but ended up in Squad 12 instead. He was then part of the party ordered to capture Orihime and Ishida, which resulted in him being blown up in Kurotsuchi’s attempt to use his own squad members as a living bomb. Thus his handsome, unnamed life was brought to a swift close. But what if Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy got his wish and joined Squad 5 instead of Squad 12? How would things be different then?


1. Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy would crush on Hinamori from afar.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy would be unable to believe his own luck when he found himself assigned to Squad 5. Now he was close to that super cool Hinamori. Only, he wouldn’t really be “close.” In fact, aside from initial meetings, he wouldn’t have a whole lot of contact with Hinamori at all. But that would be okay with  Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy. Because he’d get to crush on her from afar.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: [sighs]

Other squad member: Dude, are you staring at our leaders with a dreamy look on your face?

Other squad member: Don’t tell me YOU have a crush on Captain Aizen like everyone else does!

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: M-my crush is on Lieutenant Hinamori!!!

Other squad member: Really? Okay I guess that works too. 


2. Hinamori would not have any idea.

Hinamori, meanwhile, would have absolutely no idea. Especially since she was so into Aizen at this point.

Hinamori: Some of our new recruits are so great, Captain Aizen! This one is always volunteering for things!

Aizen: And which squad member is that?

Hinamori: Uh….

Hinamori: You know, I can’t remember his name! How terrible!

Aizen: Do not be hard on yourself, Hinamori. Sometimes it’s best not to become attached to one’s subordinates.

Hinamori: Uh

Aizen: Just kidding of course! But seriously I don’t think he has a name.


3. He would start a petition to get Hinamori out of jail.

But when Hinamori found herself in jail after trying to murder someone,  Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy would spring into action!! By starting a petition to get her released. 

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: It’s RIDICULOUS that our lieutenant is rotting in jail after doing nothing wrong!!

Other squad member: She tried to murder someone.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: Key word being “tried”!

Other squad member: Pretty sure the key word is “murder”…


4. But Hinamori, of course, would break herself out.

And  Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy would think that was basically the coolest thing ever.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: That’s right! NOTHING can keep our lieutenant down!!

Other squad member: She broke out of jail and tried to murder someone else.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: She never gives up on her dreams!

Other squad member: Dude, seriously. Why can’t you just have a crush on Captain Aizen like everyone else does?


5.  Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy would still have his “Captain why” moment.

When Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy was unjustly and pointlessly murdered by Captain Kurotsuchi, his last words were, “Captain, why?” Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy would have a similar moment when he learned that Aizen had been the big bad this whole time. Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy has some bad luck with captains in any universe, is what I’m saying.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: I can’t believe you told me I should have a crush on that guy. I definitely chose right with my crush on the lieutenant!

Other squad member: YOUR CRUSH KEEPS TRYING TO MURDER PEOPLE OH MY GOD


6. Only he would be alive afterwards.

But unlike canon,  Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy would survive his “captain why” moment! Because Aizen didn’t actually kill anyone. Because he’s bad at that.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: Man, this sucks. Our squad has had such a rough time lately!

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: But at least I’m alive to feel that way.

Other squad member: That’s so optimistic of you.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: Being alive just feels really good.


7.  Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy would collect donations to send Hinamori flowers in the hospital.

Of course, at this point Hinamori would not be in good shape. She’d be in the hospital, in bad physical and mental shape. Naturally Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy would want to help her. So he’d collect donations to send her flowers in the hospital. 

Other squad member: Now that Aizen’s out of the way, are you gonna ask her out?

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: Dude! She’s just been through a trauma! OF COURSE I’m not going to ask her out and also I’m not thinking about that at all not even in passing after which I feel really guilty that the thought even crossed my mind.

Other squad member: You’re a good dude.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: Just give me some money for flowers already.


8. When she got better, he might ask her out.

I doubt subordinates asking their superiors out is a thing in the Gotei-13. It feels like it’s probably against the rules. But this is an AU. And maybe if Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy was drunk at a party or something…

Hinamori: And then he asked me out! He was drunk and nervous and I guess it was kinda cute. He sorta fainted after asking me, so it didn’t get too awkward.

Matsumoto: And this is one of your subordinates??

Hinamori: Yeah.

Hinamori: I really wish I knew his name.

Hinamori: Seems way too awkward to ask, at this point.


9. But when she turned him down, he’d be cool with it.

Because I firmly believe that  Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy is a decent dude.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: O-of course I understand, Lieutenant! I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable!

Hinamori: I’m glad we had this talk……………Frank?

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: Frankness is good, Lieutenant! Thank you for being frank!

Hinamori: I dunno why I thought that was your name.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: What?

Hinamori: What?


10. Basically, he’d be alive. Not involved in the plot, but alive.

Like, okay. Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy being alive would not change the plot of Bleach at all. But he’d still be alive. Handsome and not powerful enough to affect anything. And that would be good enough for me.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: I’ve decided to take up water coloring!

Other squad member: …the Quincy just invaded.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: It’s cute that you think that’ll affect guys like us.

Other squad member: …

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy: Come help me pick out brushes!

Marco on Ax's human morph:

In the end result, he’s male, but almost as pretty as a girl. Plus, he’s annoying in human morph.

“Ax, you could be either a really pretty guy, or a kind of unattractive girl.”

He was in his weirdly handsome/pretty human morph.

Ax was in his disturbingly attractive human morph.

Ax’s human morph is a combination of DNA from me, Jake, Rachel, and Cassie. Together we make one disturbingly beautiful person.

At this moment Ax was in his human morph, a strangely attractive DNA combination of me, Jake, Rachel, and Cassie.

Maybe a little better-looking than average. After all, he did carry my DNA.

and bonus!

My other human friends tell me that Rachel is beautiful and Marco is cute. As an Andalite, I don’t observe either trait. However, when I am in human morph I begin to see that Rachel actually is very beautiful.

 But I never see that Marco is cute.

Akon appreciation post


As requested by anon. :)


It is time for everybody to say what they like about Akon!

[Need more appreciation?]


Ukitake: He is very good at making life-sized statues!


Hitsugaya: Too good.


Byakuya: Much too good.


Byakuya: He knew proportions that he should not have known.


Hitsugaya: He knew about a freckle that I have…in my armpit!


Byakuya: He knew about that one strand of hair that is longer than all of the others.


Akon: Guys….Squad 12 has cameras everywhere.


Byakuya: That does not make us feel better.


Shutara: I like his horns


Shutara: The man has nice horns.


Nnoitra: Sure, if you like small stubby horns.


Shutara: Maybe I do.


Nnoitra:


Nnoitra: Ew.


Hiyori: In a squad full of annoying, stupid people, Akon was marginally less stupid and less annoying than the others!


Urahara: He helped turn Squad 12 into the research squad it is today!


Kurotsuchi: He can be relied upon to do what needs to be done.


Kurotsuchi: That is more than you can say for most.


Rukia: He survived both Kurotsuchi and Urahara. I mean……how?


Nemu: He has survived in Squad 12 for a long time.


Nemu: Mayuri-sama has never once implanted a bomb in him.


Nemu: He must be doing something right.


Weirdly handsome squad 12 guy: I really wish I had been more like him…


Ichigo: He got me out of that Quincy sphere.


Ichigo: He basically saved Soul Society.


Hisagi: He is so awesome! His horns, his hair, his face, his relentlessly calm and sardonic attitude….


Hisagi: Akon proves that even nerds can be cool!


Akon: ………even nerds?


Hisagi: I know, man. You are THAT amazing!

anonymous asked:

Bellarke + "My car has broken down and you pulled over to help and there's a pretty good chance you're a murderer but you're hot so it's cool"

Just so we’re clear: Bellamy would definitely have a motorcycle.


Clarke slammed down the hood of her car and swore. She wasn’t even sure why she opened it—it’s not like she would be able to figure out what was wrong. But that’s what you do when your car lets out an awful screeching sound and then stops completely, right? And of course this would happen on a pitch black country highway in the middle of nowhere.

Clarke leaned into her car and started digging through her purse—hopefully she’d get cell phone reception and be able to call for…oh, fuck. Of course her phone would be dead too. Great. I will probably die here, on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere, she grumbled to herself. The distant roar of a motor caught her attention and she debated her options. Flag them down for help and risk flagging down a serial killer who hunts women with broken-down cars, or stay quiet and risk dying in the middle of fucking nowhere because no one else will ever come this way?

Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it—the approaching motorcyclist made the decision for her. He pulled in behind her and took off his helmet. Damn. If he’s a serial killer, at least he’s a hot one. “Car trouble?” he asked, nicely enough. His voice had a low, rough quality that sent shivers down her spine.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “And my phone is dead. Can I use yours to call a tow?”

The stranger grinned and Clarke found herself smiling back. “I’ll do you one better—my friend Raven owns a garage not too far away. I’ll call her and see what she can do. Bellamy, by the way.” The only lights on the road were his headlight and the moon, and shadows threw his face into sharp relief.

“Clarke.”

“Nice to meet you, Clarke,” he said, his eyes raking over her body in a way that made her blush. “Just a second.” He fished in his pocket and drew out his phone to make the call. “Hey, it’s me. Yeah, there’s someone out on Highway Forty-Seven with a dead car.“  The person on the other line spoke rapidly and Bellamy rolled his eyes. "How should I know?  You’re the mechanic, not me.  How long for a tow?” He paused and frowned. “Oh come on, you can get here quicker than that—what? Oh. Okay, fine. Does she need to be here? Great. Thanks, Rave.” He hung up and looked at Clarke, chagrined. “She can get here, but it will be at least an hour, probably two. She’s out on a call clear on the other side of the county and has to get that sucker back to the garage before she can come out here.”

“Any other tow trucks in the area?” Clarke asked hopefully, even though she knew that given that the town she’d driven through fifteen minutes ago didn’t even have a stoplight the chances of them having more than one garage were slim-to-none.

Bellamy shook his head. “Not anyone nearby—you’d still be waiting an hour or so. And Raven won’t dick you over on the repairs and I can’t say the same for anyone else. Can I—can I give you a ride somewhere? Or would you rather stay with your car?”

Clarke considered the offer. She could stay with her completely dead car, but it was getting chilly and all she had was a thin jacket. Or she could take a ride into town on the back of a motorcycle driven by an incredibly handsome and weirdly helpful stranger (who still might murder her, but unless that whole phone call was faked, he seemed pretty un-murdery). “A ride would be nice,” she said finally, and bit her lip at the smile that broke out on Bellamy’s face.

“Here,” he said and offered her his helmet. Clarke pushed it on and climbed up behind Bellamy. She secured her arms around his waist and nodded when he asked if she was ready and then they were off, flying down the dark country lane. The wind bit into her arms but her chest was warm where it pressed against his back and all too soon the warm yellow lights of town flashed in her eyes. Bellamy pulled up in front of a tiny, cheerful looking diner and Clarke—somewhat reluctantly—let go and handed back his helmet. “This place will be open for a few hours yet, and I’ll tell Raven to stop by here and let you know when she’s got your car.”

Clarke hesitated for just a second. “Can I buy you a cup of coffee? You know, as a thanks for being my knight-in-shining armor?” It had been awhile since she’d flirted with a complete stranger and she mentally crossed her fingers that she wasn’t blowing it.

Bellamy smirked a little. “Sure thing, princess,” he replied.

Clarke decided then and there Raven could take her sweet time with her car.

Reverse “fans ship you with”...starring Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy


As requested by anon. :)


I, uh, don’t think Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy (the one who was blown up by Kurotsuchi in a failed attempt to kill Orihime and Ishida back in the very first arc) has any popular ships. Or any ships. But so what! I’m gonna make up some ships for him, and then find out what he thinks! So, Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy, who do you feel about being shipped with…


1. …Hinamori?

“YES PLEASE! I had such a crush on her! I so wanted to join Squad 5. I really should have held out for that. I might be alive then. I might have a name.”

Hinamori: I’m sorry, but I have no idea who you are…

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: I’m just a guy who died…and the death wasn’t faked. Yeah.

Hinamori: …

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: I-I’m also someone who needs to work on his pick-up lines, huh?


2. …Orihime?

“I-I mean, if Inoue and I were together, maybe she would have protected me with her shield thing. But I don’t want to date a woman just for what I can get out of it!”

Orihime: You sound very sweet!

Orihime: You’re just not Kurosaki-kun.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: I hear you.


3. …Ishida?

“He saw what Captain Kurotsuchi is like, and then tried to murder him. I-I might have just a bit of a crush on the guy…”

Ishida: I want to kill all shinigami.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: Aaaand there goes my crush.


4. …Kurotsuchi?

“HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA no.”

Kurotsuchi: Yeah, like you didn’t volunteer for the mission.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: YOU FAILED TO MENTION THAT IT WAS A FATAL ONE


5. …Nemu?

“T-the lieutenant never seemed like a bad person or anything! But I’m pretty sure the captain would have killed me sooner for having any sort of crush on her. Maybe Nemu too.”

Nemu: Unlike you, though, I can come back.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: So you see why I might have an issue.


6. …Bambietta?

“P-please no….I’m afraid of explosions……”

Bambietta: I don’t explode men, you moron. I cut them in half.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: That really doesn’t make me feel better.


7. …Kukaku?

“FIREWORKS ARE JUST EXPLOSIONS THAT LOOK PRETTY”

Kukaku: …


8. …Kenpachi?

“Oooooh…..if I dated him, maybe I’d actually have a name! I heard he names people who don’t have names!”

Kenpachi: Yeah.

Kenpachi: So long as you don’t mind being named after Unohana.

Kenpachi: I named both myself and Yachiru after Unohana. That’s all I got. Unohana and her names.

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: S-sounds like I shoudn’t come in between you and Unohana then…

Kenpachi: Huh?


9. …Rukia?

“Hey! It wasn’t Hinamori’s hair that made me into her! I’m not so shallow! So just ‘cause Rukia has a Hinamori haircut now, that doesn’t mean I like Rukia!”

Rukia: …

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: No offense your hair is super cute love it so much.


10. …Ukitake?

“I do kinda like the way he gives his subordinates the *choice* of sacrificing themselves. That’s cool. I wish I had a choice. I would have chosen…to live.”

Ukitake: I-I just want to hug you and give you candy!

Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 Guy: Cool! I love candy so much more than death!!

Reverse "fans ship you with"...starring Kurotsuchi


As requested by anon. :)


Bleach Lists is back! And as our first post-hiatus list, we’re going to find out what the Squad 12 captain thinks of his “most popular” ships. So, Kurotsuchi, how do you feel about being shipped with…


1. …Urahara?

“Why would I date a man I despise, with whom I have nothing in common?”

Urahara: I planted some leftover Valentine’s Day cards somewhere on your body! See if you can find them all!

Urahara: Hiding things on your body! Never gets old! Am I right?

Kurotsuchi: Also there’s that.


2. …Nemu?

“I do not date my own creations. I am not a weirdo.”

Nemu: Do you think we would count as incest or self-cest, Mayuri-sama?

Kurotsuchi: What does it matter, you dolt?

Nemu: I don’t know. Abarai keeps asking.


3. …Ichigo?

“That human? He may be useful, but he couldn’t find his way out of a garganta without a map.”

Ichigo: Is that…bad?

Kurotsuchi: And this guy is our savior.


4. …Unohana?

“Is there a stronger word than ‘no’?”

Unohana: “No” with an exclamation point.

Unohana: “Definitely not.”

Unohana: “Absolutely, positively in the negative.”

Kurotsuchi: STOP THAT


5. …Szayel?

“He seemed interesting at first. But ultimately he bored me.”

Szayel: You know what’s really boring? DYING FOR 15 MILLION YEARS

Kurtosuchi: I can’t believe you still won’t let that go.


6. …Askin Nakk Le Vaar?

“If I wanted to date a Quincy version of Aizen, I would create the monstrosity myself, not borrow one of Yhwach’s useless minions.”

Askin: Ah, but you just said that you wouldn’t date your own creations!

Askin: Looks like I got you in a logical TRAP, my friend!

Kurotsuchi: What is it with you and traps?

Askin: So I don’t have much of a personality yet. Sue me.


7. …Akon?

“Akon is occasionally an adequate subordinate. But personally I find his appearance to be much too conservative to be sexually appealing.”

Akon: I have horns, captain. On my face.

Kurotsuchi: The same horns for like a hundred years now. Way to keep innovation at bay!

Akon: We can’t all be flowers, sir.


8. …Ishida?

“I thought I made it clear that I do not want that Quincy as my research subject. If I had, I wouldn’t have let him go at the end of our fight.”

Ishida: Um, I turned you into goo, you monstrous pile of utter crap.

Kurotsuchi: I choose to remember it differently.


9. …Renji?

“He let Szayel Aporro beat him. No power-ups or new outfits or even the ability to sleep in the middle of battle can wash that stain away. He is - how shall I put this? - lame.”

Renji: You know I can’t implant extra organs in myself, right?

Kurotsuchi: I believe I covered that with 'lame,’ you moron.


10. …Weirdly handsome Squad 12 guy?

“………………………………………………………………who?”

Weirdly handsome Squad 12 guy: I EXPLODED FOR YOU

Kurotsuchi: Right. Like I’d bother to remember all of my bombs.

Kurotsuchi: Get over yourself, dude.

Weirdly handsome Squad 12 guy:

Weirdly handsome Squad 12 guy: I really should have joined a different squad.

Bambietta flirts with Bleach characters


As requested by anon. :)


We already considered how Hitsugaya would go around flirting with people. But what if Bambietta tried her hand at it? How would she flirt with everyone?


1. Shinji

“I know I made your shikai explode, but that’s no reason we can’t be friends! In fact, maybe I can…make it up to you?”


2. Hitsugaya

“So…….zombie makeouts?”


3. Gin

“I heard you like to cut people in half. That’s my hobby too.”


4. Hiyori

“Hey there. You look like exactly the sort of person I’d invite back to my room.”


5. Urahara

“My hat thinks your hat is cute.”


6. Apacci

“My name’s Bambietta. But my friends call me….Bambi. Don’t lie - that turns a deer like you on a little bit, doesn’t it?”


7. Bazz-B

“You’re hot. Come with me.”


8. Candice

“Sparks fly when we’re together. I think that’s what happens when you combine lightning and explosions." 


9.  As Nodt

"Maybe if you make out with a dead chick, you’ll be less afraid of death.”


10. Komamura

“I have always loved dogs. And hot men. You and I should talk.”


11. Mizuiro

“Hello, my power is making bombs and I am secretly very old.”


12. Kukaku

“Talk pyrotechnics to me, baby.”


13. Hinamori

“I just love the way you ferociously attacked me from behind. Perhaps I could return the favor?”


14. 
Weirdly Handsome Squad 12 guy

“Mmmmm….nameless cannon fodder…”


15. 
Giselle

“Baby, you can eat me anytime.”