weirdest band

A list of quotes my band director has said

This martini isn’t dirty enough

We need a stronger bottom

Think of the ding dong, I need a lot of ding dong

Have your parents pick you up at 9:010

I want it tasty

Yeah I’m not liking the uterus either

I want you guys to learn beef

Judd: The band is only as good as the weakest link.
Anthony: Fuck we’re gonna lose

Don’t try not to lose time

How can I breathe without no air

I changed my mind, I’m not changing my mind

We got six on the bottom and five on top.

Play an A# instead of an B-flat

Try not to sound like a duck

You fracked your climactic one note of glory

Mikey, stop being pointy

Ziggy, stop hugging Malakai

You can’t frack and never return

If you’re not making Juddy proud, you’re wrong

Stop being an ice cream truck

The leaning tower of Luke Choi

You can all take a breath together after your ding dong

Add a curvy linear

Try not to have a bulge in the front

You need to have a strong d

You’re teasing me melodically

It’s getting a little tight in Darren land

The ding dong is being lost

Ziggy and Daniel are joining the ding dong

Your higher note on the ding dong has even more stress

The ding dong was well projected

I don’t hear enough of the dong

Now we know where we are at. THANK GOD

It needs to be the creepiest 3 blind mice you’ve ever heard

It’s just not big enough

Just grab me, it is destiny

Add weight, like my stomach

Finger the air

Jesus that sounds like cattle

We are not playing Frogger with our instruments

Yo, what’s with that gangster hat

We’re Swiss cheese in the clarinet block

There’s just too much body language, and I don’t appreciate it

If that amp was your mother, she would be proud

It sounds so much better when we don’t breathe

Even though I changed the music, I really haven’t changed the music

You need to have confidence on those bitches

Breathe through 8 counts without taking a breath

Are you a G?

Dylan, you’re an ass

You need to have laser eyes on Lexi

We have to be more smart at rehearsal

I’m a Facebook like Nazi

Dylan, sound like Mickey Mouse


Will’s on fire, somebody put him out

Is there a way to pause without pausing it

I’m literally turning into a parrot

I want Kaitlin on top and everyone else under her

More trumpets, more sex

Hey there J-dog(Justin)

This is Amish paradise


You need to listen for Lexi’s cut-off

Stop yabbadabbading

You’re not good

French horns, don’t put your hand in the bell

I’m hearing wrong fingers

Turn on a new hat

Finger with me

Play it as written, nice and long

Please stop touching each other

You’re the Toungey McToungerson I’ve been hearing the whole time

Just pull it out

You’re not matching the windses dynamics

There’s 2 counts of horse

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is, oh look at that, lunch detention! Congratulations Nikko, Donovan, and Nathan!

Oooo, that was a big one

A bunch of you guys need to be the icing on the cake

*plays invisible banjo passionately*


Here’s my time for glory

Imagine you’re in an algebra class, taking a test on trigonometry

Sing your finger one two ready go

I just wanna touch it

*stops band* Jesus, guys

Start at number C

You can play those notes more fuller

You sound like an elementary band learning how to play mallets for the first time

Oh Jesus

Never blink

Jesus, try again

I changed my mind, I haven’t changed my mind

It did got better

Lower my thing

You’re talking into the horn

Play the ding bum

I know you wanna shake it

Hey guys can we get rid of that chair? No chair left behind

Pull out more, more than the D would normally take

We learned how to use our tongues today. You do 16th notes until you are happy

The good ol’ sleight of glove


Take Nikko’s stick and hit it right on the downbeat

I have a guide to fingering and tonguing

That’s enough men for 2 months

Mrs. Mocha and myself might get a little excited

We can’t waste any time (plays G minor as a round twice)

You are a ninja

No girly birds!!!!!!!!

Shake this as you’re doing the wawa

I don’t hear no wawawa

Thunder where are you

Get your life together!

Jacob, you’re nothing

Be smart

I have other beaters in my office


You come when it’s time

There’s a lot of ding dongs, I feel like hostess

F all

Speak now or forever hold your run through

Play good

I’m honking my horn, get out of my way

Blend to the beef

Someone strike a D


The hunchback of Notre Justin

Don’t think of a snare, think of an instrument

Oh hello! What’s for dinner? COMPOUND TIME

I feel like I should rent a babysitter and put you in a play pen

Get better

We’re not in a smoking club here saying *cough cough cough* I’ve been doing this for 20 years, like there are like 5 band kids that need cough drops

Right now, you’re playing like a drunken sailor ballerina

*sings* be dahh boo dahhh DINNER TIME

It’s hard for Ryan because he has the runs

It sounds emotional, but it’s the wrong emotion

CUT, wow that’s a mess

Margaret you sound like the recorder version of Titanic on YouTube

You want candy, I want notes

Make it more shapey

FLINGER FLINGER FLINGER. I say FLINGER because it’s not quite there. It’s like you’re playing with octopus hands. Tentacles

This is the sound of not music

We are under the sea

Put your hand on your finger

How to tame your dragon

Right now, you’re a nike check mark

I feel like I’m feeding bread to a duck

We have a lot of articulation problems in the goat heard


It’s so bad, I feel like I’m on American Airline

Sound like a butterfly. FLY AWAY TUCKER, FLY AWAY

We’re not going to the zoo trombones, no butterflies today

Ba be ba da FORTSZANDO Ba be ba da AAHHH

WOAH! Wait that wasn’t Kaitlin, liar

Oh so you do have it on your stand. Hm. Two liars today *squinches eyes*


I want to hear a C, not an AAAAAAAA

Your guys’ bad phrasing gave him a bloody nose

Stop looking at me with your glossed over eyes

Why not, HA you thought

Here comes the Dylan!

Ding dong ding dong, don’t be a ding dong

I don’t want to expose everyone right now, but it has to be done


I guess I don’t yell enough

There’s limited times when we do that, like the McRib

It sounds like you’re in the bathroom

Don’t look like the hunchback of Notre Clarinet

This is like a daycare or something

It sounds like dinner time

Guys it sounds dorky

*turns to clarinets* bitch

I’ve always wanted to adopt Tucker

Light beer is like pee

Wow Hector, you’re like Jenni Craig

I was a lethal weapon

You have a secret affection for your clarinet

Figure out your life

It makes us sound like the asthma band

Music Asks!
  • 1: Favorite band?
  • 2: Favorite song?
  • 3: What's a band/artist you loved as a child but can barely listen to now?
  • 4: Did you ever see a band/artist live?
  • 5: Are you going to any gigs soon?
  • 6: Ever been to a festival?
  • 8: A song with a number in the title?
  • 9: A song that gets you through shit?
  • 10: A good song for long bus rides?
  • 11: A song you'd have sex to?
  • 12: A song to shut everything out?
  • 13: A song for when you're lonely?
  • 14: A song that's become a joke between you and your friends?
  • 15: A song to jam out to at 4AM?
  • 16: An album you could listen to for days on end?
  • 17: A song that punches you in the gut every single time?
  • 18: A song for when you're crazy angry?
  • 19: If you had to pick one song to represent what you're feeling right now, what would it be?
  • 20: A song that calms you down?
  • 21: A song that makes you feel alive?
  • 22: A band with an insane fandom?
  • 23: What are some lyrics you love to pieces?
  • 24: Would you ever get any song lyrics tattooed? If so which ones?
  • 25: What's a band/artist you'd addict your children to from an early age?
  • 26: A vocalist you love?
  • 27: Has a band/artist ever inspired you to do something?
  • 28: A band/artist you love but no longer exists?
  • 29: What was your favorite band/artist when you were 12?
  • 30: A band/artist you can't stand?
  • 31: What's your favorite genre?
  • 32: Can you play any instruments?
  • 33: Do you sing?
  • 34: If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be?
  • 35: Do you have a favorite piece of merch?
  • 36: What's the first album you ever bought with your own money?
  • 37: Do you prefer buying physical copies of albums or do you download them on the internet?
  • 38: CDs or vinyls?
  • 39: Do you play your music out loud or with headphones?
  • 40: A band/artist a friend showed you?
  • 41: A song that gives you the chills?
  • 42: A song to play at your funeral?
  • 43: A band/artist with amazing an instrumental but really bad lyrics?
  • 44: A love song?
  • 45: A song you love to sing to yourself?
  • 46: What do you listen to when you go for a run?
  • 47: A song that represents a deserted city at night?
  • 48: A wild song?
  • 49: An upbeat song with grim lyrics?
  • 50: What are some song titles you love?
  • 51: If your life ended today, what song would you chose to represent it?
  • 52: Can you give me a 5 song playlist on ___?
  • 53: Do you listen to instrumental music?
  • 54: Weirdest band/artist you know of?
  • 55: A song about drugs?
  • 56: A heart-wrenching song?
  • 57: A band/artist you're proud of?
  • 58: A band/artist who's music could bring you back from the dead?
  • 59: A band/artist with a sick aesthetic?
  • 60: A song that has a lot of meaning to you?

anonymous asked:

Jumin likes wolves. Awooman Han. Jumin has a lot of animals. Zooman Han. Jumin gives you a kiss. Chuuman Han. Jumin like spring. Juneman Han. ~Tex (I'll stop now lol sorry. Good luck with your work! (★^O^★))

thanks, tx anon!~

you sure do have the whole alphabet lololol it’s amazing!

Jumin on a trip. Moveman Han. ;))


Weirdest girl band ever. Possibly. by Chris
Via Flickr:
Instagram needs to let me share to Flickr again… It’s so much easier and I actually remember to do it that way heh.

The weirdest fucking band instrument.

So my mum tells my family that I’m in the school band and I have such a passion for music and that I’m really good at the ukulele. You might be wondering “But, a ukulele isn’t that weird, my gay best friend plays the ukulele.” And yes, me too, but!!!!! Oh dear lord. Not only do I play the ukulele, the first instrument I learned… was the FUCKING OBOE! Okay look, not only do I suck at it but I have to explain to people that YOU DON’T PLAY THE GODDAMN UKULELE IN A SCHOOL BAND! ….. *sigh* They’ll be like “So you play ukulele, right?” And I’ll go “Yeah, I do. I’ve been wanting to learn for awhile and I finally got to.” And they say “You learn that in the school band or somethin’?”, “No, I play the (clears throat)… the o…b…o…e…”

They try to be funny like as if I was joking like “Haha. You play the hobo.” And I go “Haha. You think you’re so FUCKING FUNNY AND ORIGINAL.” Okay… I don’t say that, but I do want to say that.

I came to play the oboe because my 5th grade reading teacher described it as a small clarinet. I figure, I’m short, so is the instrument, why not?

Seriously though, I told myself that Clarinet was my priority, if I didn’t get that, then I would go for trumpet, and if not that then sure enough… the oboe.

*music teacher looks at my sheet, sees oboe, literally jumps out of her chair and looks at me with the most happiest expression on her face* “YOU WANNA PLAY THE OBOE? WE DON’T HAVE AN OBOE YET! YAYAYAYAYAYAYA!”

Then I had too much social anxiety to tell her I only put down oboe as a way to make sure I got clarinet. And was bullied for playing the oboe for about a year.

Yeah, I guess it turned out well because I got to meet some pretty awesome people in that class (they put me in the flute class because there was only one of each double reed). But I still suck ass on the instrument. Somehow I’m in the best band the school provides, probably because they only had 2 oboes and 3 bands so the top band needed 1, so yeah.

Usually people’s kids want to do what their parents did. I can’t wait to see the look on their face when I tell them that I played an instrument that sounded like a dying goose.

Best of 5sos quotes part 1: Weird Seconds of Summer

Ashton: “I’m really jealous that Zayn is the 5th member of Little Mix. I have the talent and charm to be in Little Mix.”

Luke: “The party don’t start till I walk in” 

Calum: “The only party you’ve been to is some kid’s bat mitzvah. calm yourself”

Michael: “Turn and look the other way while Luke walks in. It’ll be so funny. Oh god i’m gonna piss myself. Wow, that’s a good one!”

Luke: “I wanted to paint my nails lavender but Michael used the entire container on his big toe. I hate his abnormally large foot”

Michael: “We asked for Alicia Keys but instead we got Calum.”

Calum: “I bought Ashton a bikini the other day.”

Luke: “Every time i crack a joke Michael threatens to shoot me in the face. I love Michael, he’s my role model.”

Calum: “Ashton likes to tell me that i have nice earlobes but i say not in front of the children”

Luke: ”Calum offered to paint my nails but i said no because he always uses the wrong shade of purple”

Ashton: “I have really low self esteem because Michael told me my hair wasn’t pretty yesterday.”

Michael: “No Luke, don’t put the salad bowl on your head again.”

Luke: “I have a purse that i keep all of my makeup in so the boys can’t steal it. I caught Ashton with my lipstick the other day.”

Michael: “I only give blowjobs to Luke on weekdays because I’m not a slut!”