weirdest animal

  • being friends with a gryffindor is: never having to worry about not having someone to fight for you; knowing that you are arms length away from receiving the warmest hug you have ever had, like hot apple cider or hot chocolate; pillow fights at 1AM because why not? it's not like sleep could ever give you this feeling of joy; it's sitting next to a roaring fire painting nails, or trying to braid hair [and failing miserably]; it's watching the sunset together, and trying so desperately to memorize how the colors from the sky are making their face glow; it's standing up for them, even if they screwed up - because they're your friend, and what they did isn't worth giving up those uncontrollable giggles late at night; it's teaching each other how to grow up, and be mature, and learn from your mistakes; it's often going out of your comfort zone to do things that you might regret later, but you know will be worth it in the end; it's trying new recipes together and almost coughing it back up because you seriously needed to have had a recipe; it's always being there for each other when it counts.
  • being friends with a ravenclaw is: turning around in your seat during class, to look at them and roll your eyes simultaneously; coming up with new conspiracy theories about your favorite tv show; writing messages on each other's jeans and hands/arms, and getting in trouble with the teachers for not paying attention; it's not being afraid to tell them that they need to go back upstairs and change their outfit; it's not being afraid to give them the facts, and show them how it correlates with their circumstance; it's watching the stars together, and having a contest about who can spot the most constellations, before you both decide 'screw it,' and make up your own constellations - each with their own history and characterization; it's trying out new things together, whether it's completely foreign to the both of you, or just one of you - to please the other person and to gain their perspective; it's reading to each other late at night, while the other plays with your hair; it's always going above and beyond to keep your friendship alive.
  • being friends with a slytherin is: silent gestures and small smiles during the day, to let the other know you care about them; it's like finding a four-leafed clover - once you find it, you never let it go; it's throwing rocks in water and watching the ripples as they calm you; it's not being afraid to point out the bad qualities in each other, as well as the good, and have conversations about them; it's doing each others makeup and laughing so much that your eyeliner is all over the place, and you can forget about mascara; it's seeing who can sculpt the weirdest animal [with a backstory, please and thank you - along with its diet and habitat]; it's staying on the internet until dawn, and barely speaking, but giggling as you send each other memes; it's jumping on the bed to your favorite music while singing in a hairbrush; it's texting each other in near-tears, spilling your heart out, while the other listens and comforts you, and tells you all the reasons why you'll get through it, and how you don't need the person who is the source of your hurt; it's constantly picking each other up after someone's knocked you down; it's knowing that you have someone you can be completely bare-faced with, and know that they'll either cut all ties with you, or know that you have someone to love you for life.
  • being friends with a hufflepuff is: late-night talks about nothing and everything; sending each other baby hedgehog videos; hand-holding; seeing who can eat the most in one sitting [and then comforting each other the rest of the day, because oh my god who would even eat fifteen pieces of toast in their right mind]; sketching each other [and failing miserably]; lighting dozens of candles and laying down on the couch side-by-side, whilst your favorite instrumental record plays in the background; not being afraid of tear-stained clothes; sometimes having to pull all-nighters working through problems with each other, due to too much blatant and tactless honesty; always smiling at each other while you pass in the halls; always lending an ear when needed, even if you can't give advice; squealing at seeing their selfies, because oh my god, I am friends with the cutest little bean in the universe; making road-trip plans for the future; tripping over air while going on hikes together; drying flowers together; knowing that although they might have their head in the clouds, they will always come back down to earth just for you.
The Myths Told it Wrong

The myth says that the God of Souls is a merciful god – while the Goddess of Life made the body, the God of Souls individually crafts each soul and delivers it to babes by a seagull. Priests preach that he has a lost love and waits for him to return. Some say that he is, in fact, the god of war. That he is locked in a battle until the end of time. Others believe that he is a creator. Although these are close to the truth, the God of Souls is more like you and I.

Oh, sure he shaped people to be independent and to think at the start of time, but the brain is made to do that. His love isn’t quite as lost as people believe; that legend started when the God of Hope had gone on an adventure, took a wrong turn for a hundred years and lived with a tribe of early Hunter/Gatherers, thereby missing their anniversary and causing the God of Souls to drag him home. The war thing comes from that one time the God of Time (and Sick Beats) jumped him at a temple and they fought, levelling the temple (and the hill it was on) to the ground. He doesn’t know why humans got the notion that he fighting constantly, but wishes they would stop starting wars in his name as the Goddess of Life keeps shouting at him for nothing.

The only thing mortals had got right was that he was a creator, he’d shaped the animals which the Goddess of Life had breathed, well, life into. All the animals but Australia, which was group effort between the other deities as they had a competition to make the weirdest animal (the Goddess of Light had won with the creation of the platypus).

Swearing profusely as he emerged from under the table he’d banged his head on, Dirk Strider glared at Dave who was laughing.

“You could just ‘create’ another screwdriver.” The intensity of the glare deepened and he turned back to the computer he was making. It just wouldn’t run right!

Huffing out an annoyed breath, Dirk fiddled with the wires again. If this wouldn’t work, then humans couldn’t have internet. Not that it was important, but he needed to distract himself from how silent his house would be without Jake there. Today was the Day of Hope and Jake was needed to be paraded around capital cities. “Or is the God of Lego not able to make Google work?” Dirk rolled his eyes, used to being called the God of Lego, after Dave heard a child pray to him as that for inspiration on their art project. Dirk still blessed her with extra creativity once Dave had left to message the Alternian Deities. “Though I preferred Firefox, it just worked so much better than Chrome, y'know?” Dirk gave a grunt of reply and prayed that Jake would be home soon. Dave rambled on, Dirk only slightly listening.

Three hours and compressing the urge to scream and throw the computer across the room, Dirk used his grace to make internet before throwing Dave out and sat in the corner pouting. Knees clutched to his chest with his chin resting on them. He was upset that he couldn’t do it mortally like he used to when he was human, before Sburb.

The door of his workshop was gently pushed open,

“Dirk?” His head shot up and he opened his arms for the slim figure of his lover to slip into. Looking down at Jake, Dirk smirked at the glitter and makeup that caked him. The cream embroidered tunic slipped off one slim shoulder and Dirk nibbled on the flesh there, transporting them to their bedroom.

“Crikey,” Jake pulled away, still straddling him, “Dirk, don’t worry about the computer.”

“How’d you know of that?” Dirk threaded his fingers through his hair and leaned back against the headboard.

“You don’t feel as hopeful as usual and I could sense the grace on the computer, darling.”

He pressed his forehead against Jake’s and smiled as hope filled him, watching the gold glow Jake emitted.

“You’re glowing.” Whispered Jake, smiling slightly as he snuggled close. Dirk raised one of his hands to inspect the familiar pink light,

“So are you.”

On Earth, the sky turned pink as the sun began to sink. A priestess giggled as she looked up into the sky. Her patron, her God of Lego, was happy and healthy.

Tagged by @dafaqismylife
Answer 11 questions, ask 11 questions!

1. What’s your favorite hobby?


2. Would you rather go to Boarding school or do Homeschooling/Online school?

Homeschooling, I could work in bed…wait I would never get anything done if I was homeschooled

3. What’s your dream job?

I’m not sure yet but something that involves art

4. On a scale of 1-hella how gay are you?


5. If you could travel to anywhere in the world where would you go?

Japan, there’s a lot of cool Pokémon stuff there

6. Bears or Bats?

Bats, they are tiny and not dangerous

7. What’s the weirdest animal you like?

The Tasmanian Tiger is really cool, I’m really sad that it’s extinct

8. Favorite song in a language you don’t speak?

The only songs I listen to are in English

9. What’s a game you recommend that not many people play?

I don’t know what games people play and what games they don’t, I’m just going to say Pokémon Platinum because it was my first Pokémon game, it is awesome

10. Do you like to write? If so what genre?

No not really, I’m terrible at writing

11. Best Pokemon evil team? If you don’t like pokemon just uh bang some stones together or something idk

Well first off who the hell doesn’t like Pokémon, it is the greatest thing ever. And second off I’m just going to use my team that I use when I imagine. Golduck, Mini Golduck, Chimchar, Weavile, Starapter, and Espeon

Anyway time for 11 questions of my own

1. What’s your favorite Pokémon? Mine is Chimchar

2. On a scale of 1-10, how big of a Pokémon fan are you?

3. What type should the next eeveelution be?

I’ll move away from Pokémon questions now.

4. What’s your favorite video game console?

5. What do you normally do at 3AM?

6. What do you plan to be next Halloween?

7: How creative are you?

8. What would you name a rainbow bear?

9. If you could date anyone in the world, who would you date?

10. Do you think cheez-its and scrabble cheez-its taste different?

11. What is your sexuality?

Here’s my tags:

I hope you enjoyed this

gengaraesthetic  asked:

Random question time- What is the weirdest animal penis, in your opinion?

I am so, so incredibly glad that you asked this question. This is really important science. 

Most people would say ducks, because they’re terrifying curly things that spontaneously evert when stimulate the cloaca. 

But we’ve actually got an understand of the evolution behind that structure, so it’s not that weird. 

You’ve got snakes, which have two hemipenes, which is pretty fucking weird, too. 

Winning, though, is the echidna. They had one shaft and four heads (technically also hemipenes), two on each side. They fire alternately during sex, alternating sides, and it just requires ‘pew pew’ noises in my head. We have no idea why the fuck they require that structure, last I researched it.

Figure A is a set of snake hemipenes. Figure B is the echidna. 

The Twelve Years of Panem - Chapter 1: Snow

by: @thegirlfromoverthepond

for Day 1: Snow

Beta-ed by the incredible @dandelion-sunset :) thank you; lady for the encouragements and the betaing :) <3 you !

Rating: T

Pairing: Everlark; Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark

A chapter a day, per prompt, in this 13 chapters  ( 13 years long) story :)

Year 1: Snow

They first met on the sleigh taking them to the North Pole, on a snowy winter day.

She had been picked up first as she was already bundled up in blankets on the back seat of what passed to the outsider for a car - but was actually a sleigh, complete with reindeers and bells.

“Nobody’s saying goodbye to you either?” the girl had asked.

Peeta had shook his head from left to right. Nobody cared enough to send him away to a fancy school he got accepted in in the middle of the school year. Nobody had asked questions, as if they had been magically bewitched. But this was real life, not a Harry Potter book, Peeta had thought.

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