I guess I’m just in the mood to talk about Homestuck tonight so here’s some like… lame headcanons about the characters being in high school altogether?? Okay.

  • Jade does the morning announcements at least once or twice a week and no one’s sure how she got she got the job
  • Equius is that fucking weird kid who shows up to school everyday wearing a black trench coat
  • It’s okay because Nepeta comes to school wearing the same hat everyday
  • Dirk’s the brooding drum major I guess
  • I can’t tell if Feferi is just popular among the weirdos, popular popular, or popular with everyone
  • Either way she has a new outfit like every two weeks
  • Kanaya is Valedictorian probably???
  • Everyone does theatre together no matter what

I love this kid.

He’s only in Prisoner of Azkaban, and he has two lines:

“It’s among the darkest omens in our world. It’s an omen… of death.”

and don’t forget, the ever popular:

“It’s like trying to catch smoke… Like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.”

It’s like okay, kid, we don’t know who you are, but go ahead and say the two most intense lines in the entire movie. I guess that’s cool. Whatevs.

The signs as my students

Aries: The girl who answered the question “what’s something that’s magnetic?” with “Beyonce” 

Taurus: The boy who ran around at recess screaming “I LIVE TO DIE”

Gemini: The kid who thought snapchat face filters were just some cool game and was always asking if he could ‘play snapchat’

Cancer: The student who looked me straight in the eyes and said “I can see things other people can’t” and then went right back to drawing velociraptors.

Leo: The girl who wrote a full-page story about a woman who fell in love with a giant ear of corn. The best line of the story being “The corn was always there for her.”

Virgo: The kid who would call me over to fill me in on the latest third grade gossip every morning

Libra: The student who dramatically sat down across from me after school and said, “Miss we need to talk business” when asked what kind of business replied, “Chip business”

Scorpio: The student who was not actually in my class at all but was somehow always in the classroom anyway

Sagittarius: The boy who during aftercare somehow snuck out of the school, walked to the 7-11, and then came back with a huge bag of chips

Capricorn: The boy who grabbed my hands one day, started humming tango music, and proceeded to pull me away to dance around the room with him

Aquarius: The kid that called me over in the middle of silent reading time to tell me that moth man did nothing wrong and was just a guy trying his best

Pieces: The little girl who every time she saw me would scream “warning you!” before jumping onto me and expecting me to catch her