The shortlist for the Diagram Prize, which annually honors the year’s weirdest book titles, has been announced!

Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop by Reginald Bakeley 

God’s Doodle: The Life and Times of the Penis by Tom Hickman 

How Tea Cosies Changed the World by Loani Prior 

How to Sharpen Pencils by David Rees 

Lofts of North America: Pigeon Lofts by Jerry Gagne 

Was Hitler Ill? by Hans-Joachim Neumann and Henrik Eberle 

Romeo and Juliet //Draco x Reader

Request: Can you do just a really fluffy Draco imagine with lots of cuddling and kisses and books and just lovey dovey stuff? Like maybe cuddling in Draco’s bed at the Malfoy manor and reading to him and Narcissa on her way to say goodnight but she sees the door open and sees them all cute so she just leaves them alone? Something fluffy like that. I really don’t care as long as it’s super adorable.

Warning: fluff

A/N: kind of shitty and kind of short sorry about that :(

Draco’s hand combed through my hair as he held me.

My head rested on his shoulder as I sat close to him while reading my favorite book.

“What is it you’re reading anyway?” Draco asked as he stopped playing with my hair.

“Romeo and Juliet.” I answered continuing to read.

“What the bloody hell is that?” He chuckled at the weird book title.

“It’s a muggle book, it’s quite good actually.” I clarified as I looked at him and smiled.

“Huh. Muggle book. Interesting…. What’s it about?” He questioned seemingly  fascinated by this piece of literature.

“It’s about two lovers who come from rival families, but fate brings them together and despite the grudge that each family holds for the other; fall in love.” I said returning to where I left off at.

“Huh that story sounds familiar.” He added as his eyebrow lifted slightly.

“If you’re referring to our relationship then your wrong; they die in the end. At least we haven’t.” I stated my voice dripping in amusement.

“Let me hear it then.” He demanded now sitting a little straighter.

“Are you serious?” I giggled as I averted my attention to him.

“Yea,” He smiled as he pulled me into a sweet kiss.

“Alright then.” I said, an uncontrollable grin on my face.

His legs tangled with mines as he held me near his chest.

“These violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness and in the taste confounds the appetite. Therefore love moderately; long love doth so; too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.” I read softly.

I felt his breathing make his chest rise and fall as he placed his head on top of my head.

He completely melted my heart from how cute he was.

I continued to read as Draco listened Intensively.

“I think that’s enough for tonight, I’m starting to get tired.” I yawned as I closed the book and set it on the bedside counter.

Draco wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me back into bed and laid his head down on top of my chest.

“Draco.” I giggled at how cuddly he’s been all night.

“Hhm?” Draco hummed as he moved his head up to your neck where he peppered small kisses all over.

At that exact moment Narcissa walked in stopped a little taken aback.

I froze for a slight second, scared by how she might have reacted next, but she instead gave me s small smile before retreating to her room.

Draco stopped with the kisses and instead decided to reached down for my hand and intertwined our fingers.

His actions recomposed me because as silly as it sounded, his family could be a bit intimidating.

We both laid there, Draco nuzzled his head back into my neck where he left a few more kisses.

I ran my fingers through his blonde hair as I sighed happily.

“I love you my precious Romeo.” I laughed softly as I felt a smile against my neck.

“I love you too my Juliet.” Draco chuckled.