weird shit i find at work

anonymous asked:

This is not a prompt and I know you usually don't do asks... but! just in case: the finale is really messing up with my mind. The idea that she talks to him every day and he probably doesn't know she is alive is too much for me. What worries me the most is the idea of Bellamy getting romantic with somebody in the ark, given where the storyline is going do you think it's a possibility? How do you see things panning out?

In general, you’re right, I don’t do much speculation of this type, and I’m afraid I’m not going to start now. But here are some things that I consider to be important and good:

  • That was not a finale you write unless you care very, very deeply, about the relationship between Bellamy and Clarke. 
  • Clarke doesn’t really have a non-Bellamy love interest other than Niylah, and Niylah hasn’t ever really been treated like a love interest so much as a FWB. Obviously it’s possible they could leave her single or give her a new love interest from a number of places, but I think the lack of an extant obvious person is probably a good thing, in terms of Bellarke.
  • I also think their being separated makes it much more likely that the show is, if nothing else, considering making Bellarke canon. If they were together, they’d have to deal with their relationship in the Ark, with the following possible outcomes:
    • They get together during the time jump (unsatisfying)
    • They do not get together during the time jump and their relationship is at its current level for six years, and then they get together once they get back to Earth (bizarre and probably also unsatisfying)
    • They do not get together over the time jump because they are not interested in a romantic relationship and enter S5 as Firmly Just Friends (ugh)
    • They do not get together over the time jump because they have a Huge Falling Out and have to learn to be friends again on Earth (probably the most interesting of these but also like wtf why)
  • So being separated basically allows the writers to delay making a decision about whether or not they will be canon, whereas I think that leaving them together would have necessitated making that choice, and necessitated it in ways that would not be promising for the ship. I like the time jump, and as much as the sadness both of them are doubtless feeling during their separation hurts me, I much prefer it to the alternative, from both a story and shipping perspective.
  • Our cliffhanger was literally Clarke calling Bellamy EVERY DAY because she misses him so much and Bellamy being in actual mourning, so there is every reason to believe we are getting a fucking EPIC reunion.

On a broader note, I come from the old way of fandom, and from the old way of slash fandom, especially, where we never really expected our ships to become canon, and just sort of assumed every important conversation involving our OTP would end with some variation on “no homo,” so I get that my perspective on this is probably different from some people’s. Will I be frustrated if Bellamy and Clarke don’t mash their mouths together at some point? Yes, I totally will. I desperately want them to mash their mouths together, and I do think it’s pretty possible that they will. But my shipping of things has never really taken becoming canon as a very important factor in how much I enjoy them, so I am much more likely to think of all the reasons it might not happen to keep my expectations low than try to reassure myself that canonization is coming. So I’m not a good resource for that kind of reassurance.

But that also means what I mostly think about is all the things that will make me happy aside from actual face-mashing, and that finale was basically non-stop Bellamy and Clarke love each other so much, holy shit, with every indication that S5 will continue with that. And that is 900% what I’m about.

King and Queen- Josh Dun

Request-  Can you do one where Josh and Y/N are 10 years apart? He’s 28 and she’s 18 and a lot of fans are giving them shit but both their families, Tyler and Jenna are super supportive Because Y/N treats Josh like a freaking King and she’s mature for her age

“Y/N I love your senior quote in the yearbook. It’s so poetic. I’m shocked you didn’t pick a quote from a Twenty One Pilots song.” Your friend Maddie told you.

“Yeah, I just really liked this quote better. Also I thought I would be a little weird to quote my bo-” you cut yourself off from saying anymore.

Nobody but your parents,Tyler, Jenna, and his family knew about you and Josh’s relationship and you weren’t planning on telling anyone soon.

“Your what? Fantasy boyfriend Josh?” She teased.

“Yeah. Exactly.” You pushed it off not wanting to let it slip that you have been dating Josh for the past 15 months.

You had met Josh about over a year ago at a club. You were underage and used a fake I.D. to get in. You saw Josh from across the club and his bright pink hair caught your eye. He came over to you and started to talk to you and the both of you instantly had a connection. He didn’t know you were only 17 at the time until he asked if you wanted to head back to his place. That’s when you warned him that you were only 17. He didn’t care, because he wanted to get to know you more than to have sex with you. You were pretty mature for your age and the connection you two had made the age difference seem like nothing.

After hanging out and going on small dates for about 2 months Josh finally asked you out. You didn’t want to tell your parents, fearing they would say it was unacceptable that you were dating someone 10 years older than you. Josh insisted saying it was the right thing to do. They took it fairly well just warning Josh to not mess anything up.

Now 15 months into the relationship you were about to walk across the stage of you high school and be in the real world. You were excited, because that meant you and the yellow haired boy you loved so much can go far away for a bit together.

Your friends were all fans of Twenty One Pilots and whenever they brought them up you so badly wanted to talk about Josh. When your friend went on about how hot Josh was you got a bit jealous, but she didn’t know you were dating so you couldn’t be mad. When Josh went on tour you facetimed nightly and he made sure to stop by whenever he had a day off to see you. You and all your friends went to the concert that was closest to you and when you went missing after the show you had to come up with an excuse that you got sick and your mom came to pick you up, when really you were hanging out Tyler, Jenna, and Josh then later went to Josh’s hotel room for some “privacy”.

Everyone who knew about you two were super nice about it and often forgot you were still in high school. You talked about mature topics and you got along with everyone. Jenna and you were extremely close too. She always said you were like her long lost twin.

When you turned 18 Josh made sure to see you and spend as much time with you as possible. It was hard since he spent a lot of time on the road, but you didn’t mind, your facetime dates were always some of the best.

It was the night before your graduation and you were on the phone with Josh. It was one of your usual facetime dates. He was at the airport on his way back to you and you laid on your bed taking in the sight of your boyfriend.

“So you excited to graduate babe?” he asked.

“Yup, but I’m more excited to see you.” you said.

“I know. Only 11 hours, 45 minutes and 43 seconds.” Josh said looking down at his watch.

“That’s cute you have a count down.”

“I’m always counting down for you baby.” he said and you laughed.

“I love you, but it’s getting late and I should probably sleep.” you said while yawning.

“Alright. Good night love.” he said blowing you a kiss then hanging up.

You fell asleep and before you knew it the feeling of lips on your forehead woke you up.

“Josh.” you nearly tackled him with a kiss.

“Good morning beautiful.” he said before kissing you again.

“I’m so glad you’re here” you said hugging him close.

“I know and although I would love to hold you all day, it’s almost 10 and you need to get ready.” he said letting you go.

You frowned before walking over to your vanity where you started your makeup. After 2 hours of makeup, hair, and conversation you were finally ready.

“Wow, you look stunning.” Josh said before kissing your lips deeply, then there was a knock on your door and you mom came in.

“Sorry to barge in, but we have to go. Oh Josh It’s good to see you.” she said hugging Josh.

“You too. Now you heard her Y/N, go get our graduate butt in the car.” he said and you rolled your eyes while walking out of your bedroom and downstairs.

Once at the ceremony you had to part ways with Josh early and you left him with your parents. They all got along quite well so you had nothing to worry about. It was better if he wasn’t near you, because you didn’t want anyone knowing you were dating. You hoped nobody recognized him or asked who he was with.

You met up with a few friends and took a seat. After waiting for a while Maddie nudged you.

“Y/N look there is someone with Yellow hair over there.” she said pointing to Josh. “what if it’s Josh Dun.” she laughed.

“Maddie stop, why would Josh Dun be here.” you said then changed the topic again.

It was finally time for your name to be called so you could walk across the stage.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” the speaker said and many cheers were heard.

You knew Josh was cheering and it made you happy knowing he had come.

Once the rest of the ceremony ended you quickly found Josh and your family (thanks to his hair).

“Y/N congratulations.” Josh hugged you tight.

“Thanks, but keep it casual.” you whispered in his ear and he let go of you.

“So let’s get out of here before anyone recognizes Josh. We’ll do pictures back at home.” your dad said.

You and Josh walked back to the car distance between the two of you. It was times like these that it was hard to not be able to hold hands with your boyfriend or simply walk next to him, but it was better this way.

Once you got in the car you pulled out your phone that was buzzing like crazy.

There was a bunch of texts from your friend Maddie telling you to look at Josh’s snapchat story. You immediately opened snapchat and went to Josh’s snapchat story. There was a 10 second video of your name being called while you crossed the stage and him cheering.

“JOSH.” you said while hitting his knee.

“What?” he asked confused.

“Why did you put this on your story?” you asked while playing the video again.

“Oh shit. I meant to send that to Jordan and Ashley. I’ll take it down.”

“Josh I bet a lot of people already saw it. What are we going to do?” you aid franticly.

“I say just leave it. Let people guess who you are. I mean it’s only a matter of time before people catch on.” he said calmly, helping you calm down.

“You’re right. Plus people are just going to think I’m like your younger cousin or something. Which is gonna be weird when they find out we’re dating.” you said and Josh laughed.

“See it’ll all work out. Now let’s go back to your house and party.” he said pumping his fist in the air.

-2 months later-

“Y/N, I’m so glad you and Josh decided to make your relationship public. It’s so exciting being able to go out with the both of you and not have an awkward distance between the two of you.” Jenna told you.

“Yeah it’s great.” you said with a fake smiling.

“What’s wrong?” she asked sitting down next to you.

You sat there and listened to the song playing in the background for a minute before answering.

“Just people say things about us and our relationship and they don’t even know anything about me. People say I pay for Josh to date me and I’m probably a complete nag being 10 years younger than him and all.”

“You can’t listen to them. They all just want to be in your shoes. Josh loves you and you’re not a nag at all. I often forget you’re even younger than us. You’re very mature and I know for a fact that they don’t know the first thing about you. If they saw how much of a king you treat Josh, they would love you. I think once you give it some time, they will warm up to you.” Jenna told you and the music ended.

You saw the two boys running off stage so you stood. Josh opened his arms for a hug and you dodged him, but he still got a hold of you.

“Ew, you’re all sweaty and gross.” you whined trying to squirm out of his grasp.

“Say you love me and I’ll let go.” he told you and you laughed.

“I love you.” you rushed.

“Say it and mean it.” he told you.

“I love you.” you said slower then kissed him.

“That’s better.” he said letting you go.

“So adorable.” Tyler said walking away with Jenna following him.

No it was just you and Josh. well there were other people around, but it just felt like the two of you. It always did.

“I always mean it when I say it.” you said.

“I love you too.” he said kissing you again. “Now you need a shower and so do I. What do you say we save some water and take one shower.” he said with a smirk on his face pulling you along to the shower.

He really was your king and you were his queen. You didn’t care what his fans said. They didn’t understand and they never. They didn’t know you but Josh did and his opinion was the only one that mattered to you.

kyogre-blue replied to your post “Pudding: *is a highly intelligent, cunning and cruel woman who is the…”

OK, but the weirdest part is that a third eye somehow makes her ugly, in this world? There’s fish people, mermaids, people who are furry for no clear reason, etc. A third eye is nothing and Pudding is so conventionally attractive otherwise, this is just wild.

Yeeep. This is crappy on two levels. One is that, like you said, the Grand Line is just filled with non-typical humans. We’ve got mermaids, fishmen (and women), giants, dwarfs, actual literal furries, Longarms and Longlegs, Snakenecks, and plenty of people who are just have unusual shapes and features! And nearly all of those people are a part of Big Mom’s kingdom. Regardless of her motives (which pretty much boil down to self-advancement and greed), her kingdom is possibly the most diverse place in the world. 

But despite that, we’re supposed to believe that Pudding, a DAUGHTER OF BIG MOM and a person who is simply half descended from a group of people who all have 3 eyes (and are literally called the Three-Eye Tribe), was ostracized and bulled since her childhood for having one extra eye? Her oldest brother has a tongue that’s like as big as his arm. She has a sister who is half shark. She has another brother who looks like some kind of dripping muck monster. Oh, but Pudding having a third eye is just too much. It’s the crap with Baby 5 all over again but actually even less well developed this time. 

And it’s not just unbelievable within the story. It’s unbelievable to the audience. No one—NO ONE—looked at Pudding when we first met her and went “Oh wow that third eye is so weird/ugly. Poor her I bet she gets a lot of shit for that.” Most people just thought, “Oh cool, a cute girl with 3 eyes.” And yet now we have a feature that absolutely no one thought lessened Pudding’s attractiveness in any way being treated like some horrible deformity that Sanji should be lauded and applauded for for finding beautiful. It doesn’t work. At all. 

Sanji and his reaction to Pudding’s eye, compared to his and other characters’ reactions to other women in the story is the other problem here. A woman is half fish? A woman is half dog is covered from head to toe in fur? A woman has 3 eyes? All great, all wonderful, all hot and beautiful and Sanji is going to drool all over them. 

A woman who isn’t young, thin, and cis?

Oda treats women with fictional qualities better then he treats actual, realistic women. Don’t worry female readers of all ages! Oda wants you to know that if you have a third eye or are literally half dog or fish, Sanji will blown away by how gorgeous you are! 

But do you weigh any more than a woman with a waist like this? 

Lamo it’s time for *jokes*

anonymous asked:

after peters parents disappear he's like no one else is gonna die while thinking I'm a boy and comes out to May and Ben. They immediately get him on blockers (hence no boobs or scars in homecoming) and he only started T a few months ago but bc of the spider bite it works super fast and he becomes pretty masc quickly. + tony finds out cause the spider suit sends signals and shit to him and the suit is like smth is weird in peters crotch cause packer and offers to pay for anything(clothes/surgery)

lmao poor pete, his body must be going through hell let’s be real. first his body is on those blockers and is just waiting to dive into puberty, then when it’s finally able to it has the testosterone added and that puberty probably becomes Ultra Puberty™ and peter is just feeling like a walking mass of zits and body odor and sarcasm.

then the spider bites him and suddenly his body seems to be trying to turn into a perfectly sculpted specimen, but his voice is still cracking and he’s still getting zits and he’s still fucking 15 and yeah it’s cool that his body looks way more masculine now (thanks gross spider) but also now it kinda feels like it’s at some kind of Puberty War.

and of course tony put scanners in the suit. peter figures out as much when one day karen tells him he should go to the restroom because his bladder is nearly full (yeah he ended up going to the bathroom but he didn’t need karen to let him know oh my god). he confronts mr. stark about it one day and goes on about how it’s an invasion of privacy, and tony says that fine he’ll modify it so that it only tells him about major injuries. that way if peter almost dies he’ll know when to show up. peter asks tony just how much he knows about him, tony says, “i know enough and i’ve known enough since berlin. and i know you’re still the same dumb kid.”

peter can’t tell if this is a compliment, but he feels more at ease. before he goes tony let’s him know that he’s been injecting his T at the wrong angle in his thigh and it’s been irritating the muscle. peter tells him to fuck off.

Spiderman-Homecoming Preference - Dating

A/N: Y’ALL I’ve been thinking of doing this for months but I didn’t get around to it but here I am! The reason I’ve been wanting to do this is because the whole point I started writing fanfic is because I wanted to write for unpopular characters and try to bring them more attention! I hope you guys enjoy, don’t forget requests are open so request some stuff!

Small Disclaimer: Because I haven’t seen much of anything for any of these characters besides Peter I’m kind of creating the characters so they may not be accurate to when the movie comes out. 

ALso I went crazy with Michelle bc im gay as fuck plz someone requesst something for her 

Peter Parker: 

Originally posted by spiderholland

  • The flakiest boi 
  • The sweetest! 
  • But also the flakiest
  • Lunch (when he’s there) is normally in the Library studying, seeing as how he has so many absences  
  • Studying = goofing around/nerding out 
  • He posts a lot about you on Instagram and snapchat
  • When he get’s a chance to post 
  • If May and your parents allow it
  • But they most likely will bc they ship you like crazy

Ned Leeds: 

Originally posted by irenelair

  • I feel like he’s not that experienced at dating 
  • Because he’s had a lot of crushes
  • But not many were reciprocated? 
  • SO he’s a little shook when you confessed you like him back
  • You probably go to the arcade a lot with him
  • Or you play video games with him at his place
  • You guys eat with Peter at lunch a lot
  • But instead of him gawking at Liz Allen, he gives you that attention
  • It really doesn’t matter if you look like a goblin or a goddess he will look at you like the most precious treasure 

Michelle Gonzales: 

Originally posted by zendaya-daily


  • The Laid Back™ girlfriend 
  • You’re probably one of the few people she hangs out with
  • In fact, it was when she sought you out during class for a project that you knew she really cared for you 
  • Acts like she doesn’t care but is actually a sweetheart 
  • Sometimes she’ll just pop in class next to you
  • In classes you don’t share 
    • “Hey babe”
    • “Michelle! What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Science?”
    • “Eh, we’re doing a group project. I’m sure Parker is going to do all the work anyway.”
  • Will. Destroy. Anyone. Who. Bullies. You. In. Any. Way.
  • Sleepovers eating junk food, watching trashy chick flicks, and talking about life 
  • Finding out about the weird shit she’s reading 
    • “Michelle are you reading about Human Bondage?”
    • “You never know when you might needs this kind of stuff Y/N.”

Flash Thompson: 

Originally posted by headlikealamb

Why is it so hard to find gifs of these bitches lol 

  • Reprimanding him every time he bullies anyone
    • “I swear to god Flash the next time you even touch another mathlete I won’t let you touch me for a week.”
    • “Aw c’mon I was just teasing Y/N.”
  • You guys spend a surprising amount of time studying
  • Bullies need to graduate too i guess 
  • You guys don’t go crazy on PDA
  • The most you guys got caught with was making out in the corner in the Library 
  • I feel like the most you guys fight about is how he bullies people, that’s probably the biggest tension in the relationship
  • Idk why but I feel like he’s close to his mom, and it would be important to him for you do be close to her as well 


Deadpool finding the weird photoshopped pictures of himself on your computer.

••• Requested by Anon •••

“How the shit did you get into my computer?!” You screamed at Wade the minute you entered the apartment, seeing hundreds of printed pages of the stupid photoshopped works you had saved to your documents. “It’s password protected!”

“It ain’t anymore!” Wade cheered, throwing a handful of the photos up in the air and spinning around in a circle like some musical extra. “You should have told me how much you like my handsome mug!”


I found some interesting things on the internet and put it together… Not quite horror though.

• All the Autobots, Decepticons, and the humans friends end up in some place where this monster is (M.E.C.H. has a Death Labyrinth™ somewhere in Canada). Optimus and Megatron come to an agreement to work together to get out.

• Weird shit starts happening as the monster is coming after them

• Knockout and Breakdown break off from the group. Starscream tags along

• Cliff and Miko have disappeared (oh look he’s alive…Maybe)

• Wheeljack finds a good hiding place for he and Bulkhead. Wheeljack starts MacGyvering the shit out of anything he can find to make traps and bombs.

• Optimus and Bee are trying to keep everyone together. They comfort the others.

• Ultra Magnus and Dreadwing continuously bitch at each other because they have contradicting orders for everyone’s survival. It doesn’t help that Fowler yacks at them too. Megs eventually becomes done with their shit and asserts himself

• Something crashes

• “Who’s there?!” - Arcee

• “It’s the monster!” - Smokescreen

• “There. Is. No. Monster!” - Jack

• The noises stop.

• Meanwhile in another part of the maze, Breakdown is being dragged off by the monster. Starscream and Knockout try to help him, but ultimately fail. The monster drags Breakdown away to Primus knows where. A fight between Screamer and KO happens involving whether they should find Breakdown or find a way out.

• Back to everyone else!

• Panic and hysteria! People are beginning to suspect that SHOCKWAVE created the monster.

• Predaking, who decided to keep a look our for the monster, gets a little offended by this remark to his ‘creator’, but keeps it to himself.

• Suddenly the monster appears from the ceiling! *Terrified shrieking* OP+UM guides the Autobots away, Megs orders the cons to do the same. Fowler gets Jack and Raf.

• Megatron turns to face the monster with his sword out. Almost immediately he’s pinned down by it. June notices this and shouts for Optimus’ help.

• The monsters tail smacks OP HARD into the wall, knocking him out temporarily.

• “Nooo!” - June

• June picks up a crowbar and begins running towards the monster. She throws the crowbar at it, gaining it’s attention. The monster takes notice and grabs her with it’s tail. It then proceeds to headbutt Megs and drag him away while Dreading, Arcee, and Optimus shoot at it.

• “Holy fragging scrap it just took on Megatron without breaking a SWEAT!” - Wheeljack

• “Yeah, but did you notice it was licking his faceplates? I think it was trying to be friendly.” - Smokescreen

• “Smokescreen?” - “Yeah?” - “That’s bullshit.” - “Just voicing my thoughts, Agent Fowler.”

• Ratchet believes that Smokey might actually be right, as it is a common trait among Earth life to do this. (I’m thinking in terms of cats and dogs)

• Bulkhead, Wheeljack, Arcee, Predaking, Jack, Ultra Magnus, AND Soundwave don’t believe that this is the case.

• Optimus does sort of believe him tho because they’re besties

• Jack is distressed and wants to go find his mom. Dreadwing and Predaking also wish to find Megatron.

• They attempt to find the exit. They move around by using the hand on the wall technique. They walk in a single file line with Optimus in the front, and Predaking in the back. Smokescreen manages strikes up a conversation with Shockwave, who surprisingly talks with him.

• Smokescreen sets Raf on his shoulder and he listens to Smoke and Shock.

• Every once in a while Raf says something to make it more interesting.

• Arcee, Jack, and Predaking are in the back. Arcee comforts Jack. Predaking asks what Jack’s relationship is to June and learns about human families. Predaking makes a connection between June and Shockwave. He decides that he’ll take more interest in Shockwave’s health in the future

• Soundwave decides to be near Optimus and Ratchet.

• They start noticing a very foul smell. Raf throws up, but not before Smokescreen takes him off his shoulder armor. Shockwave notes it’s nastiness and asks Raf why it happens.

• Before Raf can explain, Cliffjumper appears out of the shadows and runs straight towards Optimus. Arcee immediately jumps out of line and asks him where he was and where is Miko.

• “Oh she’s with Lucy and the others! They’re fine.” - Cliffjumper

• “Who is ‘Lucy’?” - Optimus

• “Sweetest thing to ever live down here.” - Cliffjumper

• Cliff leads them into the center of the maze, telling them about how M.E.C.H.s ancestor dealt with bioweaponry and creating mutants. Lucy was one of the first things that they created, and threw away.

• Lucy was just one of many mutants that had been made. There were at 13 other mutants, all of which except one. The last one turned on them and began to eat his creators, and then his brothers.

• Lucy had been the only one who survived the massacre. She could evade the rouge mutant but she could not escape the maze.

• “Why not?” - Raf, who is a little horrified by the tale.

• Cliffjumper doesn’t answer, instead he stops walking. The others see that they’ve come to a large door. Cliff turns around and whispers to them that they must move slowly and stay quiet.

• Cliff opens the door slowly to reveal a large dome shaped hanger. In the center sits a furry beast larger than both Optimus and Megatron put together. The bots immediately recognized it as the thing that had attacked them earlier.

• The beast turned towards their entourage and stares at them intently. June and Miko both run out from under the beast to the bots. June ran to her son and Miko ran for Wheeljack and Bulkhead.

• Cliff explains that the beast in the center of the room was Lucy and she dragged them here to the safest place in the maze.

• Lucy is covered in dark brown fur that almost looked black in their current lighting. Two ebony horns emerged from her head and arched over her neck. The claws on her hands were over three feet long and we’re as black as her horns. She had a long tail that stretched over 70 feet long. Overall Lucy was shaped like a human, but she walked on all fours like a gorilla.

• When Cliff and Miko wandered off from the pack they found Lucy roaming the halls. Cliff was intrigued but a bit tense about her whereas Miko immediately thought she was awesome. Apparently she approached Lucy only somewhat cautiously. Lucy was a bit startled by Miko’s enthusiastic greeting but learned to like her pretty quickly.

• It wasn’t too long before Lucy had sensed danger. She picked up Miko and grunted at Cliff. He had no clue as to why until an armor rattling shriek came from the darker end on the hallway.

To be continued… Maybe

For The Love Of Harry, Chapter One

Okay, everyone! After reading dozens and dozens of Harry fanfics, I’ve decided to throw one of mine into the pot. I’ve been writing Harry stories for a couple of years now, having dozens stored in my database, but not having the confidence to share them with another soul. I’ve been writing for years, but I’m new to the world of fan fiction, so please bear with me. I normally write novel/screenplay stories, so fanfics are a new challenge, and I love a good challenge. I wrote in the narrative of what I like to read personally, placing the reader in the story. This is Chapter One of my first shared story. I appreciate any feedback from anyone who will offer it, as this will determine if I continue writing them for you, or fall back to writing them only for myself. With a good enough response, I would be happy to share more, and accept prompts and ideas for further writing. As a small note, Chapter One only contains a hint toward the smut. I tend to like a bit of smut, but my main focus is to offer a good, hopefully believable, story with relatable characters. I struggle with a feeling of guilt concerning smut, feeling that it could be offensive and disrespectful toward Harry personally, sexualizing him and such. That’s my own demon to face. What I know is I love writing stories involving Harry. He’s a fun character to write, and that reflects on what an intriguing person he is in reality. So, here you go! Part One of my first shared writing, For The Love Of Harry.


Hey, mate. You busy?

Harry read the text from his best mate, Alex. He hadn’t talked to him for awhile and decides to call him.

“Hey, H. How’s it going?” his friend asks.

“All is good. What’s up?” Harry replies.

“I was wondering if you’re not busy, if you want to go have a drink? I need to talk to you,” Alex says with a sound of begging in his voice.

Harry, always being a friend, agrees. “Um, sure. I just pulled into the house, so let me run in real quick, then where do you want to meet? Your house?”

“No!” Alex quickly retorted. “No, meet me at O’Leary’s, she has a friend over. Girlie night, you know.”

“Alright,” Harry said. “I’ll meet you there in about….15.”

Alex disconnects the call and walks into the kitchen where his girlfriend and her best friend, Kari, are pouring wine and fixing food. “Sweetheart, I’m going out for a bit,” he states.

You turn and look at him then back at the food. “Oh? Okay, I thought you were going to have dinner with us.”

“No, I’m meeting Harry for a drink. I’ll eat there.”

“Okay,” you offer, a bit irritated at making more food because he had specifically said he was hungry. “Have a good time. Tell Harry I say hi.”

Alex walks to you and kisses your cheek, as you accept it as awkwardly as he gave it. “I will.” He kisses Kari’s cheek then walks to the door, smiling at them. “Don’t have too much fun, ladies.”

“No promises,” you quip.

Alex leaves and Kari looks at you with a strange look. “What the hell is up with that?” she asks.

“Up with what,” you question back, knowing what she means but playing coy.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kari replies. “Maybe the weird vibes between you and Alex, and the fact that your eyes smiled when he mentioned going to meet Harry.”

You raise your eyebrows. “No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t fuckin’ lie to your best friend,” Kari admonishes. “You’ll go straight to hell.” You smile. “You will, it’s in the good book.”

“Aw, probably already have a one-way ticket reserved in my name,” you laugh. Kari gives you a look like she isn’t letting it go. “I don’t know, Kar,” you say, looking at your bestie. “I think…I’ve been thinking about…breaking up with Alex.”

“Really?!” Kari asks, shocked. “You’ve been together quite a long time, love. I figured when you let him move in here that you two were in it for good.”

“Two years, yeah,” you say, sadly. “I don’t know, it’s just not working anymore. He used to be…into me, you know? Opened doors for me…did sweet, special things for me…held my hand…kept his arm around me when we were out……he doesn’t do any of that anymore. Hell, we never even go out anymore. The past five times I’ve asked him to take me out, he has an excuse. Either he’s too tired, or he has to work, or he’s busy with a buddy.”

Kari offers hesitantly, “Do you think he’s lying to you?”

You give her a look. “I don’t know. Do you remember the night I called and asked if you wanted to go to the cinema to see that new movie that came out, the one with that cute actor that I told you about but can never remember his name?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kari replies.

“Well,” you say, “When you couldn’t go, and Alex said he was going out with Paul, I decided just to go alone. And who do you think I saw at the cinema?”

“Alex?!” Kari yells.

“No,” you say, “Paul, with his wife. And when I said something about he and Alex having plans that night, he and his wife both started acting all weird and said something about Alex having to go into work or something, but it was the way he acted, like nervous.”

Kari takes a bite of the food you are making. “Did you find out where Alex was?”

“When he got home,” you reply, “he said he had to go into work, but when I questioned him on it, he yelled at me, asking me why I didn’t trust him.”

“No shit?!” Kari says. You nod your head. “Never did trust him.”

“Kari!” You exclaim, shocked at her comment.

“Oh, I’ve never trusted men,” Kari interjects. “Daddy issues, I suppose. Never found a man I could trust. That’s why I love women!” Kari raises her eyebrows up and down with a big smile, making you laugh.


Harry pulls up in front of O’Leary’s Pub and walks inside. He hears a whistle and sees Alex waving him down in a far corner. Harry sits and orders a drink.

“How’s everything, mate?” Alex asks his friend.

Harry smiles and replies. “No complaints, I suppose. You?”

“Oh, I’ve got troubles,” Alex admits, sulking. “Could really use some advice.”

“Not sure I’m one to be asked advice but I’ll help if I can,” Harry answers. “Are you needing money or something?” He has loaned Alex money in the past and he had always been good to pay it back.

“What?” Alex asks. “No, I’m fine that way. That’s not the problem. We’re doing fine.”

“Just asking,” Harry says, apologetically. “She doin’ alright, too? Haven’t seen her in a long time. Been meaning to get together with the two of you, just been busy with work.”

“She’s fine,” Alex assures. “Doing well. You know, stays busy with work and such.”

“Yeah, how’s she liking her new job?” Harry asks.

Alex grins. “She loves it. And she’s good at it, too. You should read her stuff online. It’s good.”

“I’ve read her articles, and yeah, she really is,” Harry agrees. “So what’s going on?”

Alex looks at him seriously. “I want to ask you a favor.”

“Sure,” Harry says.

“For awhile,” Alex continues, “I’ve sensed…she isn’t happy.”

Harry pops his brow questioningly. “What you mean…not happy in her life in general? Not happy with you? What?”

Alex sighs. “I don’t know…with me, I think.”

Harry nods. “Been together a couple of years now, haven’t you?”

Alex makes a confused face. “Eh…something like that, I guess.”

“You don’t know how long you’ve been with your girl that you live with?” Harry questions, surprised.

“Never much been good with dates and such,” Alex admits.

“So,” Harry continues, “What’s the favor, mate? Want me to talk to her, see if I can figure out what’s bothering her?”

“Sort of,” Alex wavers. “Not exactly.”

Harry chuckles. “You’re going to have to be more specific, I think. I’m confused what you’re asking.”

Alex blurts, “I want you to sleep with her.”

Harry chokes on his drink, spewing it from his mouth across the table and coughing. He takes a breath and wipes his face, looking at Alex with a look of shock. “Don’t think I heard that right. Say again?”

“I want you to sleep with her,” Alex repeats.

“Ok, maybe I did hear that right,” Harry exhales loudly. “What the fuck, Alex? She’s your girl!”

“I know,” Alex replies.

“Why would you want another man to sleep with your girl?” Harry questions. “Especially your best mate!”

Alex practically yells, “She’s not happy, Harry!”

“You’ve said!” Harry exclaims. “But what makes you think that me sleeping with her would make her happy? How is that going to fix whatever troubles you’re having with her? And why in hell would you think that she would be okay with sleeping with someone besides you? She doesn’t seem that type.”

“We…um,” Alex stammers. “We have…an open relationship!”

“Open relationship?” Harry asks, unbelieving. “Like…you sleep with other people…and you’re both okay with that?”

“Yeah!” Alex interjects. “Yeah, that’s right!”

“So, if you’re both sleeping with other people,” Harry questions, “Why are you asking me to sleep with her?”

Alex scrambles for a reply. “Um…”

Harry sighs. “Alex, just be honest with me.”

“I don’t think I’m satisfying her sexually,” Alex sighs. “In any respect, honestly. We argue, we don’t spend time together, we rarely have sex anymore, and when we do, she…doesn’t seem like she’s really…having her orgasm. I think she fakes it…for my sake, I’m sure.”

Harry tries to read his friend. “You think she’s getting it somewhere else, which is leaving her unsatisfied with you?” Alex hesitates then nods. “But are you getting it somewhere else, which could be what is leaving her unsatisfied?”

Alex looks at Harry, irritated. “Whose side are you on, friend?”

Harry breathes. “Not on anyone’s side, Alex. Just trying to help you figure it out. If you’re getting sex somewhere besides your girlfriend, then maybe that’s why she isn’t feeling satisfied with you. I’m still amazed you said you and she are in an open relationship. I suppose I can see that with you, but she doesn’t…”

“Fuck,” Alex interrupts. “Glad to know what you think of me, H.”

“No, I just mean,” Harry sighs. “Okay, tell me this. Who are you spending time with…that way?”

Alex looks around then back at Harry. “You remember Karina?”

“Karina?” Harry groans. “The redhead…your cousin?! That’s disgusting, Alex! Your cousin…”

“She’s not my fuckin’ cousin, H!” Alex reveals.

Harry rubs his head and musses his hair. “But…that’s been months, Alex. You’ve been sleeping with Karina for months?” Alex nods. “Did not know that. Weird.”

“Open relationship, remember,” Alex answers, like that explains it well enough.

“So you keep saying,” Harry spews. “So, who is she sleeping with?” Alex stutters, searching for words. “You don’t even know if she’s sleeping with someone, do you?” Alex just looks at Harry guiltily. “Damn it, man. Alex, I don’t know that I should get involved in this.”

Alex pleads. “Come on, mate, you just have to help me out!”

“How the fuck would I be helping by sleeping with your girlfriend?” Harry exclaims.

Alex explains, “Give her what she needs sexually and I think we’ll be happier together.”

“That makes no fuckin’ sense, mate,” Harry barks.

“It does, I swear,” Alex assures. “Don’t want to lose her, do I?”

“I don’t know, do you?” Harry asks, a bit frustrated with his friend. “Steppin’ out with Karina and all.”

“It’s…” Alex stops, not really knowing what else to say.

Harry takes a big gulp of his drink, shaking his head then looking at his friend again. “What does she think about this? You’ve talked to her about it?”

Alex trips over his thoughts again and stammers. “Um, yeah…sure,” he says. “She’s totally cool with it. Think she’s always fancied you a bit, anyway, if I’m being honest.” The thought of that made Harry smirk a bit. He’s always had a bit of a crush on you, but being his best mates girl, he never acted on it. He knew they had both stolen glances at each other at parties and such, and they had always been comfortable with each other.

Harry speaks quietly. “Seriously. She wants me to…?”

“What woman in her right mind doesn’t want to sleep with Harry Styles, right?” his friend asks.

Harry thinks and takes another drink. “I don’t know, mate. Maybe if I just talk to her. We’re friends, after all. She and I have always gotten on well.”

“Listen, just think about it,” Alex insists. “I’ll set the whole thing up. Private hotel room somewhere. Give her what she needs sexually, no skin off your nose or hers. Nothing wrong with it. Who knows? Maybe she’ll want to make it a regular thing with you!”

Harry grew more irritated with his friend. “The fact that you’re okay with that is what is wrong with this.”

“Just think about it?” Alex asks again.

Harry agrees to think about it. Alex invites Harry over to the house, just to say hi to you. He agrees, having not seen you in a long time, and sort of wanting to feel out the vibes between them. As they walk into the house, they hear the girls giggling and talking in the front room. As the boys round the corner and look at them sitting on the sofa, laughing, they realize the girls are in their bras and panties. You glance that direction and see the boys stop in their tracks as Harry’s jaw drops slightly. The girls immediately jump up and you gasp. Kari grabs a throw from the side chair while you grab the one from the sofa and cover yourselves.

“Sorry!” you giggle. “Wasn’t expecting you home so soon, and with company.” Harry continues looking at you. “How are you, Harry?”

Harry jolts out of his stupor at the sound of his name. “Oh, I’m fine, thanks. How are you, love?”

“Bit tipsy, but good,” you giggle again.

“What the hell’s going on here?” Alex asks, teasingly. “Kari, you seducing my girl?”

“Someone needs to,” Kari spews, as you elbow her. “I mean, yes, always.” Kari smiles and Harry giggles at the two of you being cute.

“Could be fun to watch,” Alex teases.

“Alex!” you howl.

Kari quickly intercedes. “You wish, Alex. Not into the guy thing, not even as voyeurs.” The moment becomes quiet with nobody speaking. “I’m just…going to go check…on our clothes.”

Kari leaves the room and Alex begins again. “Why you half-naked in the living room with your lesbian best friend, babe?”

“Stop, Alex,” you order quietly, looking at Harry, embarrassed. “The sink went looney again. You said you fixed it, but I turned it on and water went all over the kitchen. We looked like drowned rats, so we put our clothes in the dryer. I didn’t think you would be home so early. I’m sorry, Harry.”

“No need, love,” Harry assures you.

“Show us then,” Alex spoke.

“What? The sink?” You ask, confused, but before you can react, Alex yanks the blanket away from your body, revealing you again. “Alex!” you yell.

“Mate, don’t!” Harry blurts.

“What?” Alex questions. “You have a beautiful body, princess! No need to hide it just because Harry’s here.”

“Alex, give me the blanket!” you plead, angrily.

“Sexy little undies set you’re wearing,” Alex flirts, as you wrap your arms around yourself. “Don’t you think so, H?”

“Alex, stop being a dick!” Harry shouts. He grabs the blanket from Alex. “You’re a fuckin’ child!” Harry walks to you and wraps the blanket around you.

“Thank you,” you speak, still embarrassed. “I’m going to go see if my clothes are dry. It was good to see you again, Harry. If you’ll excuse me.” You keep your head down and quickly walk out of the room.

“Why were you such a fuckin’ dick to her?!” Harry rails. “That was a horrible thing you just did!”

“She’s sexy, right?” Alex asks, barely bothered. “Don’t you want some of that, H?”

Harry releases his breath, angry with his friend. “You’re an ass. I’m leaving.”

“Come on, H,” Alex groans. “All in good fun. Just wanted you to get a better look at what you could have.”

Harry shakes his head in aggravation and walks out the door. He was angry with Alex and felt bad for you. He knew you were embarrassed by the incident. You did have a beautiful body, he thought…full breasts, an hour-glass figure that curved in beautifully at your waist then jetted back out again at your hips and ass. Harry had to admit to himself, he felt a twitch in his dick when he saw you in your bra and panties.


“What we were talking about earlier?” Kari quizzes you before leaving, “You have my full support.”

“Full support for what?” Alex questions.

Kari snarls at him. “Mind your business. You are a prick. Grow up, you overgrown child!” She looks at you. “Love you,” she says as she kisses your cheek. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything, yeah?” You nod then shut the door behind your friend.

“What did she mean?” Alex asks, perturbed. “What were you talking about earlier?”

“Don’t worry about it,” you speak quietly.

“Keeping secrets from me?” he asks, irritated.

You look directly at him. “What did you talk to Harry about at the pub?” Alex shifts his feet and says nothing. “Who’s keeping secrets?”

Alex huffs out of the room. You clean up your mess then walk upstairs to go to bed. As you pull the sheets back on the bed, Alex walks to you. As he starts to put his arms around you, you push him away, grab his pillow and the blanket you had wrapped up in earlier, and push them against his chest.

“You have got to be kidding!” Alex shouts. You continue fixing the bed as he cusses, walking out of the room, slamming the door on his way out. You climb into bed and lay down, thinking about the events of the evening. You had expected him to try to play on your normally high sex drive to make amends, but after his display of immaturity and rudeness, you knew Kari had more chance of getting into your panties that night than Alex did.

The next morning you wake up early, after tossing and turning all night. You decide to go ahead and get up and fix your morning tea, starting your day. You go downstairs and look toward the sofa, expecting to see Alex still snoring, and are shocked to see the blanket and pillow sitting on the end of the sofa, untouched. You go to the front window and see his car is gone. He had left and hadn’t even said anything. You sigh deeply and go into the kitchen. You begin your morning routine and soon find yourself getting into your car to drive to work. All day long you think about the incident, but just want to put it behind you. As you sit at your desk, typing a story you are working on, you hear the vibration of your phone. A text from Harry.

Good morning, Love. Just checking to make sure you’re alright this morning, after last night.

You think it is sweet that Harry is checking on you, but not terribly surprised. Harry is one of the sweetest, most caring people you have met.

I’m fine. Thank you for caring.

Of course I care. And he’s a dick. I’m glad you’re okay.

You read his text, smile slightly, then set down your phone and continue your work. As you are leaving work that evening, you get into your car and hear your phone ring. You look at the screen and giggle at the photo that is your best friend’s contact pic. Kari had put it into your phone. It was a cartoon drawing Kari had made, being an artist for the magazine you both work for. The drawing was a caricature of herself kissing a caricature of herself, and for some reason it always makes you giggle. You always thought the only person who could probably satisfy Kari sexually was herself.

“Hello, lover,” you say, seductively.

Kari gasps. “Aw! My heart, be still, you’re finally coming over to my side! I knew you couldn’t resist me much longer.”

You laugh. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to see how things went after I left last night,” your friend probes. “Did you fight?”

“No,” you answer. “I put him out on the sofa. Clod wasn’t getting into my bed after that.”

“Oh, good for you, love!” Kari praises her friend. “With your sex drive, I know that couldn’t have been easy. I think you’d hump a dog if it was the right day of the week.”

“Kari!” you yelp.

“You know I joke,” her friend giggles. “So what happened this morning after you both woke up?”

You sigh. “He wasn’t there. I thought he slept on the sofa, but apparently he left. Probably went to a hotel. Seems to do that when we argue sometimes.”

“So you going to ream him good when you get home?” Kari asks.

“Honestly, Kar, I’m not sure what I’m going to do,” you reply. “I’m so tired of this kind of shit with him, and last night was just the cherry on top of the sundae, you know?”

Kari squeals. “It was fuckin’ uncalled for, what he did to you, and in front of Harry! Not that Harry seemed to mind seeing you in your knickers. Think he was drooling.”

“Stop,” you speak, flushing a bit.

“Apparent to see you both fancy each other,” Kari admits. “How about getting rid of the asshole and going for the rockstar? He’s a right catch!”

“Don’t be silly, Kar,” you scold. “Harry isn’t interested in me. Besides, I date his best friend. He’s loyal to his friends.”

Kari snickers. “Nothing to be loyal to if you aren’t with Alex anymore, is there?”

You think about that for a moment. Would make things less complicated, you thought. You shake the thoughts from your head.

“Hellooo?” Kari prompts. “Am I right?”

“Kar, I’m almost home,” you ignore. “I’ll talk to you, okay?”

Kari replies, “Call me, babe.”

“I will,” you answer.

You pull your car into the drive and park it next to Alex’s car. You take a deep breath and exhale deeply before walking into the house you share, seeing him quickly finish a phone conversation and disconnecting.

“Hey,” you say, sternly.

“Hey,” he answers. “How was your day?”

“Normal, yours?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he replies. “Normal.”

You look at him as he diverts his eyes, looking at his phone as it lights up. “Maybe we should talk about last night?” you suggest.

“What about?” he answers back, not looking away from his phone screen. He finally looks at you and sees the disgruntled look on your face. “No worries. Listen, I have a business dinner tonight so I’ll be out until late. Don’t wait up for me.”

He kisses your cheek and walks out the door. You can’t believe he just blew it all off like nothing happened. You stand in that spot for a long moment in disbelief, then go upstairs, changing out of your business clothes and into something more comfortable. You walk to the kitchen, looking for what sounds good to eat but nothing strikes your fancy. You decide to relax in the front room, turning on some music quietly, and closing your eyes while lying on the sofa.

As you lay in the living room, you think of the events from the night before and it frustrates you. You knew what you probably needed to do was break up with Alex. You knew you weren’t in love with him, and you’re not sure he was ever in love with you. You both probably jumped into living together too quickly, but it just sort of happened. He would stay one night, then one would turn into two, two would become an entire bank holiday weekend, and eventually he just suggested he move in, and you agreed. And although the sex seemed good at first, you realized in time that it was more that you just hadn’t had someone show you affection in awhile prior to the relationship, and was happy to be enjoying it again. Okay sex was better than no sex at all, you had decided.

Relaxed on the sofa, you drift into a light-state of unconsciousness, tired from your day and restless sleep the night before. Your thoughts begin to shift from your unsatisfactory life with Alex, to the temptation of another. You knew you had always been attracted to Harry, but then again, who wasn’t? Women and men alike were attracted to him, not only for his good looks, but his charming and kind personality. You think about the first time you ever met Harry. You and Alex had been dating for a couple of months or so when he decided to go back to Holmes Chapel where Alex had been born and raised, and he asked you to accompany him. One evening Alex had gathered a group of old school friends to a local pub for a few beers, and that’s when you first saw him. He walked in, and to your table, smiling and flashing those dimples, greeting all of his old pals. Alex introduced Harry to you and he always made sure to include you in the conversations.

“So, love,” Harry directed at you, “How did my dear friend manage to find himself with such a beautiful girlfriend?”

Your quick wit kicked in. “1-800-GIRL-NOW.” Everyone who heard laughed and you smiled. “Alex was in the states when I lived there, and literally ran into me in a shopping mall, knocking my bags out of my hands. Guess I was kind of taken by the accent after that.”

“Pardon me for saying,” Harry injected, “But you’re the one with the accent at the moment, love.” He giggled and the others around them cheered and agreed.

“Touché,” you replied. “I’ll accept that.” You smiled and he smiled at you once again. You thought you could surely dive right into those dimples.

You and Harry got along well and you appreciated that he included you and continued talking with you, as not many others that night did, as they chatted about old times and childhood memories. You happily accepted his warm hug at the end of the night and thanked him for making you feel so welcome into the group. From that moment on, you were both comfortable around each other and enjoyed the other’s company.

Lying on the sofa, you thought about those dimples. What a beautiful smile he has! And those green eyes, that you swear must be the exact color of some rare gem at the bottom of the ocean. And the first time you saw his tattoos out in the open, you nearly made a fool of yourself staring. You and Alex had gone to Harry’s house for swimming and food with a few other people he had also invited, and you could barely notice any other people that day, mostly because you were so drawn to Harry, his charm, and his tattoos. You thought about how his laurels sat just above the waist of his swim trunks. You thought about how he looked that day. Good. Very good.

You think about many things. As you do, you slowly reach your hand down your body, as the music in the living room plays softly, until your hand finds its way inside your shorts and panties. You moan lightly as your fingers find your clit and slowly begin to rub. You imagine it is Harry’s hand rubbing you there. You moan again at the thought of it, and feel the growing heat radiating between your legs. You slide your hand a bit further down inside your lace panties, rubbing your swelling, aching lips, as you slip two of your fingers between them and inside of you. You feel the wet heat instantly as you move them in and out slowly, then work them back up to your clit, allowing your wetness to coat it pleasantly. You feel your breathing become a bit faster as you feel heat rushing into your cheeks. You begin to move your other hand into your panties as well, but just as it finds your clit and you start moving your wet hand back down as your hips begin to rock slightly, you hear a noise. Was that seriously the door bell? you ask yourself. Surely not. You continue rubbing and drifting back into your state of near-bliss when you hear knocking on the door. Your eyes shoot open. You quickly pull your hands from your shorts and wipe them on the under side of your top. You lay there another minute, hoping whoever it is would just go away. You want to get back to pleasuring yourself and thinking about Harry. You think they had left when you hear the bell again, then a familiar voice.

“Love? It’s Harry! Are you alright?”

You sit straight up on the sofa and look toward the door. Through the long, narrow glass of the door, you see Harry tapping against the glass, looking at you from behind the sofa. He had seen the top of your head on the sofa arm and worried when you didn’t get up with the first ring of the bell. You feel the heat in your cheeks, knowing they are red, exposing that you had been up to something. You quickly stand, taking a deep breath, and walking to the door, opening it to him.

“You alright?” Harry asks, looking at you with concern.

“Harry,” you answer. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” he continues. “You’re a bit flush. Are you not well?” He places the back of his hand on your forehead and then your cheek.

You look at him, still surprised he’s there, and put your hand on your cheek again, before smiling at him. “I’m fine, thanks. What…what are you doing here, Harry?”

“Um,” he thought, then remembered. “Actually, I was nearby and was on the phone with my dad. I mentioned to him about your sink and he told me a couple of things to try. Thought maybe…” You were still looking at him confused. “If you don’t mind, that is. I’ve become a bit handy since becoming a home owner.” He smiles slightly, still standing outside the threshold of the door.

You finally snap out of it and answer. “Yeah. Yeah, of course! Thank you. I appreciate it. Come in.” You step aside so he can walk in. He gives you a quick hug and kiss to your cheek, then closes the door behind him. You both stand looking at each other for a moment. “Oh, sorry. Come into the kitchen.” You walk into the kitchen with Harry in-tow. “I have some tools there under the sink.”

Harry opens the cabinet doors and pulls out your tool bag, setting it on the counter so he can see what you had for him to work with. You turn and feel your cheeks again, feeling they are still quite warm, but maybe beginning to cool a bit.

“So,” Harry starts, “Let’s see what it’s doing, shall we?”

Before you can stop him, he quickly lifts the handle of the sink.

“Harry, no!”

You yell, but it’s too late. Immediately upon lifting the faucet handle, water quickly and forcefully sprays in every direction of the kitchen. You scream and Harry catches his breath as the water sprays him directly in his face. He pushes the handle back down again to stop the flow of water, then looks at you, both completely soaked and laughing hysterically.

“Now, that could be a problem!” Harry booms. You both laugh as you push your wet hair out of your face, and he leans toward you and hugs you. “I’m sorry, love. I’ve made a right mess of the kitchen, haven’t I?”

“No worries,” you smile. “Mop and towels work fine.”

Harry messes with the sink, tightening things his dad had suggested, then doing the same under the sink. After a bit, he tries again.

“Barely going to raise it this time,” he laughs. “Just in case.”

He lifts the handle slightly as water begins dripping from the faucet head. He lifts it a bit more until it is wide open and no water leaks anywhere. You both cheer as he shuts it back off again.

“Simple enough, I guess,” he grins. “Over time, those connections can become loosened and just need tightened.”

“I’m glad it was that easy,” you comment, wringing water from your clothes. “I’ll have to remember that. Thank you so much!”

“No problem, love,” he smiles, pleased with himself. “I’m glad I could fix it.”

“Yes, if I waited on Alex to fix it, I would be filling my pasta pot in the bathtub until I’m 90!” you joke.

You both laugh and Harry helps you clean up the mess he had made in the kitchen. Soon all of the water was dried from every surface and you offer him a glass of wine, which he turns down as you walk into the living room and sit.

“Harry, can I fix you dinner in appreciation for fixing my sink?” you invite, enjoying the thought of having dinner alone with him.

Harry smiles slightly, disappointed that he couldn’t. “As much as I would enjoy that, sweetheart, I’m actually supposed to go to my sister’s tonight. She’s expecting me soon.”

“Another time, then,” you offer.

Harry smiles. “Definitely. I’ve missed your cooking,” he says, sincerely. “Listen, before I go, I just want to make sure everything is good between you and Alex, after last night.”

“Um,” you hesitate, “He’s…not really been here.”

Harry scowls. “What do you mean?”

You sigh. “I was so angry with him, I made him sleep on the sofa, but I guess he left instead because he was gone when I woke at 5 this morning.”

“So you’ve not seen him?” Harry asks.

“Yes, actually,” you answer. “He was here when I got home from work, but he was leaving. Said he had a business dinner or something.”

“I see,” Harry replies. You were both quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry he did that last night, love. He shouldn’t have.”

“You’re right,” you agree. “He shouldn’t have, and I appreciate your concern, but I’m okay.” You look down for a moment, then back at him, as he looks at you thoughtfully. “Harry…I’ve been thinking about breaking up with Alex.”

“Really?” he questions, not terribly surprised after his conversation the night before with Alex.

“Yeah,” you simply say.

“You mean, because of last night?”

“No,” you answer. “Well, not only because of last night. No, I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now. I think…the love just isn’t there anymore, for either of us. I don’t think he’s happy, and I know I’ve not been happy for a long time. He’s never home, and I would understand that usually, but I’ve been feeling for awhile that he isn’t being honest with me about things.”

“I see,” Harry said, offering nothing more, listening to what you needed to say.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I probably shouldn’t be telling his best friend this, should I?”

“It’s fine, love,” he assures you. “I’m your friend, too, you know.”

“I appreciate that,” you nod. “I’m just tired of feeling like I am a very low priority on his list. Everything seems to come before me. His job…his friends…his time…he doesn’t really make time for…us…anymore. Don’t even remember the last time we had sex.”

Harry felt a bit uncomfortable at the mention of it, but interested all the same. “I’m sorry you’re so unhappy, love. I know you’ve been together for a couple of years now, so it’s probably difficult to let that go, the security of it, or whatever.”

“Two years, yeah,” you say. “Do you know Alex didn’t even remember our anniversary? It was last month, and he never said a word to me about it. No flowers, no dancing, no soft words in my ear, no nasty sex, nothing.” You chuckle but he can see that you had felt hurt by it. “In fact, that night, he said he had to meet a client out of town so he was going to be staying at the hotel they were having dinner at. I was so…hurt, I guess…I just never mentioned it again. I think…maybe it’s just time to…let him go, and move on.”

“I’d still like to be your friend,” Harry adds. “If you do let it go with him. Doesn’t change that I like spending time with you.”

You grin at him. “I’d like that. Thanks.”

You sit, just looking at each other, without saying a word for a moment, then Harry speaks.

“I…guess I should be going to my sister’s now,” he finally says, hesitantly. You both stand and walk to the door.

“Thank you for stopping by, and for fixing my sink. I owe you dinner,” you promise.

“You owe me nothing,” Harry says, and grins, “but I will happily eat your food.” He smiles a huge smile with his tongue between his teeth, dimples shining. You smile and nod your head at him. He leans to you, kisses your cheek, then hugs you tightly, longer than he normally does, then pulls away again. You look at each other for a moment, then Harry opens the door and walks out, waving to you from his car. You wave back, then close the door.

Harry drives to his sister’s house, where they decide to go to a new restaurant. As they are about to sit at their table, Harry glances around the room, and at a far table, he sees Alex, his arm around Karina, kissing on her neck and smiling.


Things stay the same for the remainder of the week, then Alex decides to talk to you about sleeping with Harry.

“I think it would help us!” he yells.

“I cannot believe you are suggesting that I sleep with your best friend! You’re insane!” you bark back.

“Look,” he says, pulling a hotel key card out of his pocket. “Here is the hotel room key. The address and room number are printed on it. Just go and Harry will meet you there. Have a couple bottles of wine, or even better, take a bottle of whiskey with you. That always loosens you up. Go have fun, for God’s sake! How many women can say that their boyfriend is giving them permission to sleep with another man?!”

“You are insane!” she yells again. “I cannot believe you got Harry involved in this! I can’t believe he thinks I want to sleep with him!”

“He wants to sleep with you!” he shouts.

You stop when he says that and think for a moment, before yelling again. “What man in his right mind wants his girlfriend to sleep with another man? You’re an asshole!”

You grab the key card out of his hand, your purse with your other, then storm out of the house. You drive quickly out of the driveway and straight to a liquor store. You can sure as hell bet you were going to get drunk off your ass in that hotel room your boyfriend had paid for, then the next day you were going to kick his ass to the curb! You’d had enough! In a matter of time, you were finding your way to the designated hotel room and let yourself inside. You hadn’t packed any clothes, writhing in your anger and leaving abruptly, so you had only a couple of bottles of alcohol and a large bottle of water. You sat them all on the hotel room table, and walked to the window. Nice view, you thought. You turned around and sat on the edge of the bed. How had your life gotten to this point? You were just a simple girl, living a simple life in America, who had become smitten with the first British boy you had met. How dare you pack up your life and move to England? Your first job offer came too easily, causing you to have no argument for staying home, instead of beginning a new adventure in a new country. What were you thinking?!

You stand again and walk to the table, grabbing one of the bottles of liquor and removing the lid, taking a long, steady drink. It burns as it hits the back of your throat and you squint your eyes, swallowing, feeling the burning sensation travel downward inside of you. You take a deep breath, then another big swig of the strong juice. As you swallow it down, you stamp your foot on the ground two or three times from the burn of the liquor on your insides. After consuming a good bit of the drink, you walk to an open area of the wall, leaning your back against it, and slowly easing your way down until you are sitting on the floor, the liquor bottle between your legs. You don’t know how long you sit there quietly, just thinking and drinking, but after awhile you see the light on your phone and reach for it on the table. You look and see it’s Alex, and ignore the call.


“What’s going on?” Harry asks Alex when he calls.

“Hey, she’s at the hotel, ready for you,” Alex says.

“She’s what?!” Harry yells. “Fuck, Alex! What are you doing?”

Alex explains. “She got pissed at me when I showed her the hotel room key card, we fought pretty hard, and she grabbed it and took off. I’m sure that’s where she is.”

Harry hesitated then asks, “Is she okay? What did you do to her?”

“Fuck you!” Alex shouted. “I did nothing to her! She just got pissed when I told her to take the key and go to the hotel and wait for you. I put the other key in your postbox when I was out.”

“I can’t believe you!” Harry yelled.

With that, Harry disconnected the call and went to his postbox, grabbing the key, and rushing to his car. He dials your phone number but it goes to voicemail.

“Hey, love. Please call me. Alex told me what happened. I need to know you’re okay…” then the voicemail beeped and the call disconnected.


You see another call light up your phone, but assuming it is Alex, you throw your phone across the room and hear it hit the wall. You take another drink of the liquor, then realize you need to pee and attempt to stand. You didn’t think it was really affecting you yet until you try standing and fall back to the floor. You crawl to the bed and pull yourself up, holding on to the wall until you make it to the restroom. After you finish you walk back into the room, taking the last drink of that bottle and setting it down on the table, quickly picking up the other and once again making your way to your safe place on the floor next to the wall. You stare at the opposite side of the room, for how long you don’t know. You remember your bottle and open it, taking another drink of the liquor, which is beginning to not taste as good as it had initially. But you don’t care much. You were determined to deaden the anger you felt toward your boyfriend…soon-to-be ex-boyfriend…and the alcohol was the way you planned to do that. You drank until the numbness began to consume you and the room began to disappear.


Harry drove to the hotel shown on the keycard and immediately made his way to the room. He first decided he should knock and he did.

“Love, it’s Harry,” he said, loudly enough for you to hear, but not so loud that a possible fan in a room nearby may have been tempted to search for him. When you didn’t answer, he used the card and opened the door. He saw your legs on the floor on the other side of the tv cabinet and closed the door behind him. “Hey, you alright?” he asks, waiting for a reply. As he walks to where you are, he sees you are slumped over on the floor, an opened bottle of liquor sitting next to you. He quickly kneels down next to you. “Hey, sweetheart! I need you to wake up!” Harry nervously places his fingers on your neck and feels you still have a pulse and sighs, thankfully. “Love, come on,” Harry shakes you a bit, trying to wake you. “I need to know you’re okay.” You still don’t wake. He puts one of his arms under your knees, the other around your waist, and lifts you, carrying you to the bed and laying you across it. “Sweetheart?” He jostles your head a bit, and you barely open your eyes, unable to focus on him. “Hey there, beautiful,” he says to you. “Doin’ alright?” You look at him for a moment then close your eyes again. You think you hear an utterance of ‘Fuck’ then you once again float into darkness.


Harry smooths the hair away from your face with his hand, nervous and concerned, speaking to you any time your eyes seem to slit open a bit. “Hey, sweetheart. I need to know you’re okay. Can you look at me for a moment, please?” You open your eyes slightly, trying to focus on the form a foot or so away from your face, thinking it is Harry but you aren’t sure. Your head is thundering in rhythmic pain as you try to concentrate on the voice. “Babe?” You look again toward the direction of the voice and focus a bit better, seeing a very worried looking Harry in front of you. “Been giving me quite a scare, love. Almost threw you over my shoulder and sped off to the hospital with you. Your breathing seemed almost nonexistent a couple of times through the night.”

“Sorry,” you whisper, holding your pounding head.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Death comes to mind,” you say quietly. You hear him giggle as you realize he’s holding your hand with both of his, squeezing it firmly.

“Think you can sit up yet?” Harry questions. “No rush. Want to make sure you’re okay before we drive back to your house. Appreciate you not puking in my car.”

You look at him, still trying to make sense of everything in your mind. You sit up with his assistance and nearly fall the other direction until you feel his arms keep you steady.

“What happened?” you ask him.

“Think you and Alex had a pretty ugly argument, maybe,” he offers. You suddenly begin remembering the night before. You groan and Harry rubs your arm. “It’ll be okay.” You look at him with a sad face. “How about we get you home, yeah?”

Harry grabs your things, throws the empty bottles in the trash, having already poured the end of the second bottle down the drain, then helps you to the washroom. After another moment he is helping you to his car and securing your safety belt around you.

“Doin’ alright?” he asks, and you nod and close your eyes. You feel him kiss the side of your head, then shut the door. As you try to regain your thoughts, you roll the window down. The cool breeze blowing on your face feels good. Harry watches you almost constantly, still concerned but feeling better that you seem okay. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You look at him and sigh. “He’s an asshole. What’s to talk about?” You look back out the window. Harry is quiet, waiting and ready to lend you his shoulder or allow you to bend his ear if you need a friend to listen. Finally you take a deep breath and speak. “How are you supposed to feel when the person you’ve been in a relationship with for over two years tells you he wants you to sleep with another man?” Harry says nothing and you turn your head and look at him. He sits quietly, glancing at you, then looking back at the road. “He said maybe if I was actually enjoying sex again, I wouldn’t be such a bitch.” Harry set his jaw, angry by that comment. “I’ve never been a bitch to him, Harry.

“I know, love,” he agrees.

You think for a moment then speak again. “Sure as hell going to be one to him now, though. He’s gonna see the difference, I guarantee.” You are both quiet again for a long moment before you talk again. “He told me you’ve been in on it the whole time, too. That it was your idea for you to come to the hotel and sleep with me, but he wanted me to. Had given you a key card, which I guess was true, since you were in the room.” You look at him and his mouth is agape, then he closes it, not sure what to say. You look away again, pursing your lips together, feeling the anger building a bit again deep inside. You don’t even know what to think about Harry’s involvement in it at the moment, and you don’t know that you believe anything that Alex has told you, giving Harry the benefit of the doubt, but you do know he came to the hotel, and was good to you while you were there, so you couldn’t feel angry with him. You close your eyes and lean your head back.

Within what seemed like only minutes, you felt the car come to a stop and hear Harry’s voice again. “Hey, sweetheart, we’re here.” He gets out of the car and walks around to your side, opening your door and helping you with your safety belt. You feel his hand on your arm as he guides you out of the car and up to the house. Alex’s car is gone, which you are very thankful for. You dig your keys out of your purse and open the front door, walking inside. “Love, let’s get you a shower and I’ll fix us some breakfast, yeah?” Harry helps you up the steps to the master bathroom. “You okay? Need me to…help…or something?”

You look at him and chuckle lightly. “No, I’m okay. Thank you, Harry.” He watches for a second as you walk to your closet and dresser, grabbing some clothes, and walking into the washroom. Harry sits in a chair in the corner, not wanting to be out of earshot in case you would need help or be sick. After a bit of time, he hears you open the door and step out. You see him sitting there, still with a bit of a look of worry on his face, and grin slightly at him. “Better?” he asks.

“Yeah, a bit,” you say, not really feeling much better, but a shower always feels good.

“Let’s go downstairs and I’m going to fix us a bite of food,” he orders. You walk down the stairs with him and into the kitchen. He pulls out a chair for you at the table and you sit. He looks into your fridge to see what you have, and pulls out a carton of eggs and some fresh fruit. He finds a loaf of bread and puts slices into the toaster, and begins preparing your breakfast. As he turns to look at you, he sees you slumped over the table, your hands in your lap, and your torso lying nearly flat, your face feeling nice against the cold table top. Harry giggles slightly. “You still doing okay, love?” He hears an “mmhm” come from your direction and smiles. Soon Harry places the food on two plates. “Sweetheart, sit up now and eat. You need some food in you.” You groan slightly and slowly sit up, the room spinning a bit again as you move your hand to your head. “Room will stop spinning in a moment, love. I promise.” You look at him then at the plate of food. Scrambled eggs, toast, and fresh mango slices, with a large bottle of cold water next to your plate. “Be sure and keep drinking, babe. You’re still dehydrated from the alcohol or your head wouldn’t still be as bad, I think.”

You look at the food which looks good to you. “Thank you, Harry. I appreciate you taking care of me.”

“Broke my heart that you were so sad,” he says with a sad look on his face. “Just want to be sure you’re okay now. You were crying in your sleep through the night.”

You look at him, scrunching your brows together. “Was I?” He nods at you. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Not your fault, sweetheart,” he says, squeezing your hand under the table, then releasing it to continue eating. You both finish your food and Harry takes your dishes to the sink and washes them. “Why don’t you go lie down on the sofa and I’ll be in shortly.” You feel like you’re being rude, leaving Harry to clean up the mess he had created to take care of you, but your head was still thumping badly, which won the argument inside your mind. You stood and walked into the living room and laid down on the sofa, placing a pillow under your sore head. Within a few minutes, Harry walked in and sat beside you. “Feeling better yet, love?”

“A bit, yeah. The food helped, thank you,” you say honestly.

“You’re very welcome,” he replies. He looks at you, unsure of what to say. He sees the sadness in your eyes.

“I’m so angry at him, Harry, I could just scream,” you say unusually calmly for the content.

“I know, babe,” he nods. “You have every right to be. He’s been an asshole to you.” You sit up as a tear drops from the corner of your eye and he wipes it with his hand.

“I’m sorry he got you involved in this, too, Harry,” you apologize.

“No need for you to apologize, love,” Harry shakes his head. “This is all on him. When he came to me, asking me to…well…to sleep with you…I just couldn’t believe it. Didn’t understand it, honestly. Then he told me about your open relationship, and…I think he just wanted it to ease his own guilty conscious maybe, about sleeping with Karina the past several months. Make him not feel so bad about doing that to you, knowing you were doing it, too.”

“Wait…what?” You start to absorb what he’s saying. You look at him with a new found anger brimming. “Open relationship?” Harry looks at you, his eyes growing wider. “We’re not in an open…that son of a bitch!” He sees your anger building by the look in your eyes and how your body is intensifying before his eyes. “And who the fuck is Karina?!”

“Oh, no,” he realizes what he’s done. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry! He told me you…I’m sorry, I thought it was your agreement with him. It’s what he told me!” He watches as you stand and pace a bit and mumble under your breath.

“Fuckin’ liar…cheating, no-good, bastard…” you mutter.

“Babe…” he says, trying to calm you. “I know you’re angry, but…”

“Angry?” You look at him with fire in your eyes, literally shaking. “I hit angry when you said ‘open relationship’. I’m at furious now and on my way to ‘going postal on his ass’. How dare he?! I’ve been devoted to him for over two years! I’ve not even been in love with him for some time now, and I still stayed with him, thinking…” you chuckle to yourself unbelieving, “thinking somehow I was the one doing something wrong, that it was my fault I couldn’t get off from him and was ruining our relationship, when all the time, it was his sorry ass!”

“Love,” Harry tries to help, “You have every right to be furious with him. But…”

“No, Harry,” you shout. “Angry doesn’t begin…” You both hear a car pull into the drive. You go to the window and see Alex pulling in.

“Oh, shit,” Harry says under his breath. “Love…”

Harry watches as you look boiling and about to explode, then sees you quickly run to the front door, throwing it open, storming out and running to where Alex is walking toward you. Harry runs outside to try and help if he can.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Alex says with a smile and open arms. “I hope you’ve had a chance to cool off and come to your senses after last night. You were…” as he tries to finish his words, Harry sees you rear back and throw a hard punch directly against Alex’s jaw, causing him to fall to the ground in shock. “What the fuck?!” he yells at you.

“My question exactly, you unbelievable prick!” you scream back. “Open relationship? Open…Karina, Alex?” Alex looks at her in disbelief, then shoots an angry look at Harry for telling her.

“You dick!” he yells at Harry. “Why did you tell her?!”

“Oh, no you don’t!” You blurt at him as he stands once again. “Don’t you dare try and put the blame of this on Harry, or on me, for that matter! You are the dickhead here! You cheating, lying, bastard!” You yell loudly, sure the neighbors have heard every word but not caring. You ball your fist once again and punch him hard in his gut, and as he bends to hug his middle, you pop him once again in the jaw, this time feeling the pain in your hand and yelling, shaking it as your eyes water. You scream in anger.

“Love, go inside!” Harry gets in your face and tries to calm you a bit. You look at him with tears of anger forming. “Go inside, please.” You look at him for a moment longer, then stomp into the house, slamming the door behind you. Harry turns and looks at Alex. “I think you should go!”

“What the fuck was all of that?!” Alex screamed. “I thought you were my mate? Why the fuck did you tell her about Karina?!”

“No!” Harry yelled back. “You don’t get to put the blame on anyone else! Look at what you’ve done, Alex! I thought you were a stand-up guy, but all I see now is a bloody child…a small, insignificant child, who cares about nobody but himself!”

Harry and Alex look up as they hear an upstairs window open, then see objects and personal belongings begin to fly out to the lawn below.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Alex yells at you. “That’s my stuff!”

“That’s right, you prick! And I’m just opening a window, and giving it a relationship with the ground!” you yell as you throw another armful of his clothes to the ground below. Harry and Alex both stand watching for a second then look at each other. Alex starts to walk toward the door of the house, but Harry stops him, standing in front of him.

“No!” Harry booms. “This is her house. Way I see it, you are now trespassing on private property. I suggest you start putting your things into your vehicle and move along.”

“I thought you were my friend, H!” Alex practically begs.

“No more,” Harry redirects, more calmly. “I can’t be friends with someone who would treat such a great person the way you have treated her.” Alex looks at Harry, saying nothing in defense that time. “She didn’t deserve any of what you’ve done to her. And you don’t deserve her.”

Harry turns and walks toward the house, locking the locks on the door as he re-enters. He walks to the large front picture window and stands, watching Alex begin to pick up his things, which are scattered in a large area over the yard by now. Every now and then over several minutes time, he sees another item fly down from the window above and hit the ground below. Harry doesn’t move from the spot at the front window, wanting to make sure Alex gets the point that he is not welcome there. After several more minutes, you have stopped tossing things from the window, and Alex eventually has all of his things in his car and leaves. Harry walks up the stairs, wanting to see that you are okay. He taps lightly on the bedroom door and it opens slightly. He sees you sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at your hands, your shoulders slightly hunched forward. He thinks you look very small on the large bed, and walks to where you are and sits next to you. He puts his arm around your shoulders as you lean against his chest and sniff. He stays with you until you sit up once again and wipe your face, taking a deep breath and releasing it.

“Your hand alright?” he asks you. You nod, moving the stiff, slightly swollen digits. “How about a drink?” Harry asks. “Hm? Saw a bottle of wine downstairs, and a bit of whiskey, your choice. Hair of the dog, and all that?”

“No,” you reply quietly. “No, I’m okay, thanks.”

“You sure?” Harry squeezes your shoulder. You nod your head.

You take his other hand in yours and squeeze him back. “Thank you. For everything. For…helping me, nursing me…listening…just being here with me. Being a friend.”

Harry smiles at you. “I am your friend. Guess that’s one good thing that came from me being a friend to that ass…I met you!” Harry smiles as you look at him, and you smile a bit. “There’s that beautiful smile.” Harry kisses the top of your head and holds you a moment longer, then you both walk downstairs. “Bloody brilliant punches, love. Remind me to never piss you off,” he jokes. He stays with you the rest of the day, into the evening, until the doorbell rings and you hear Kari’s voice on the other side.

“You better be in there and alive, or I’m going to throw myself in front of a train!” she yells through the door. You giggle slightly as Harry gets up and answers the door for you. When Kari sees him on the other side of the door, she startles. “Oh! Well, hello!”

“Hello, Kari,” Harry smiles. “How are you, love?”

“Worried to death about her,” she says quietly. “Called her phone at least 50 times and she never answers. She okay?”

“She is, yeah,” he grins. “Come in.” Harry closes the door behind her. “Think her phone had a bit of an accident…met a wall or something.”

Kari walks into the living room where she sees you sitting on the sofa with your legs pulled up in front of you. She goes quickly to you, wrapping her arms around you tightly.

“Kar, I’m good, but I can’t breathe,” you joke. She leans away and looks at you.

“What in the hell happened to you?” she boomed. “I’ve been calling and calling!”

You look at her and press your lips into a line. “I broke up with Alex.”

“Did you really?!” Kari questioned, enthusiastically. “Good riddance! He never deserved you anyway.” She looked as you nod slightly. “What happened?”

“Love, I’m going to be going now, if you’re okay,” Harry spoke.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you reply and stand to walk with him to the door. “Thank you for everything, Harry. You don’t know how much it’s meant to me that you’ve been with me.”

“No other place I would have rather been, sweetheart,” he smiles sweetly. He wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly, your arms around his middle and head against his chest. “I’m glad I could be here for you. Always be here for you, love.” You pull away slightly and look into his eyes, then lean up and kiss his cheek sweetly. His hand moves to the side of your head, as he kisses you gently on the cheek but near to your mouth, then holds your face against his as he speaks quietly into your ear. “I want you to call me if you need anything at all, alright?” He feels you nod. “Everything’s going to be okay now, yeah? New direction now, and you’re not alone in it. I’m here for you.”

“Thank you,” you say quietly into his ear. He holds you a moment longer then pulls away, looking into your eyes for another moment, then turning to Kari.

“Good to see you again, Kari,” he says.

“Always a pleasure, love!” she returns.

Harry places a sweet kiss on the side of your head, then opens the door, walking out to his car. You watch him for a second, then close the door and walk back into the living room.

“Ooooh, but you have a lot of explaining to do, girlfriend!” she smiles.


Let me know if you liked Part One! Sorry I don’t yet know how to format it to shorten and redirect, but I hope you like it. Apologies for any mistakes or oversights. 

Good Girl CH 4: Virgin

“Now tell us what the hell is going on.” Namjoon demands the minute Jin sits me down on the nice sectional couch.  He sits down in front of me on the glass coffee table. The living room is massive with floor to ceiling windows that look over a pool with the beach not far in the distance. I do my best not to gawk and focus on my very upset friends in front of me.

“There was that shoot out at the club; Jihyo and I got out threw the back window into the back alley where I saw Kitty oppa shoot some guy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He saw me when he was going threw the dead guys wallet and picked me and said he wanted to take me home and here we are.” I explain as best as I can.

Jin sits down next to me, “But why are they this protective over you? I’ve never seen them like this.”

I shrug, “Jihyo and I were drinking last night so I got all weird and they seem to like it. How long have you known them? What are you guys doing here?”

Jin sighs, sitting back into the couch he looks to his youngers for help. Yoongi comes over and sits on the coffee table next to Namjoon, “The best way to explain it without telling you too much is that we work for them, and we have for a couple years. They helped us out when we were younger, helped us find each other and get our shit together. Now we don’t have that much time to talk about this so can we put those questions aside for another time?” From the concern on Yoongi’s normally passive face I nod, a new worry climbs up my spine from their seriousness.

“We need you to understand that you are not safe here,” Namjoon starts, “Even though these guys have helped us and we are forever indebted to them, you are our friend and we do not want to see anything bad happen to you.”

Despite my mind telling me not to I can’t help but ask, “What would they do to me?”

“Please don’t make us answer that,” Jin begs, grabbing a hold of my hand, “Just know it isn’t good.”

“Noona,” Jongkook sits down on my other side and takes my free hand. “Just use your magic to make them let you go, they seem to do anything you ask. They even let you touch them; they always react very badly to people doing that.”

“I can’t, I already told them I would stay if they let me talk to you,” I nibble on my lip as I think of what Kookie could mean by they react very badly.

“How long do you think you are going to be staying?” Hoseok asks.

I shrug, “I don’t know, I’m hoping Handsome and Deer oppa will convince the others to let me go home.”

“Handsome and Deer?” Jimin laughs.

“Like I said, I don’t know names.”

“Their names are Suho and Luhan,” Namjoon says.

“Maybe it’s better if she doesn’t know their names,” Taehyung pipes in, “It will make her seem like less of a threat.”

They all nod in agreement, Jimin starts giving me tips, “Don’t ask any questions either, I know you aren’t usually the curious type but I mean absolutely no questions. The less you know, the better.”

“Try not to be alone with anyone. Where did you sleep last night?” Jin asks.

“With Kitty.”

They all stare at me dumbstruck but Namjoon shakes off his shock first, “Xiumin hyung let you sleep next to him?”

“Is that really weird or something? I heard that they don’t take girls home often.”

They nod, “It’s incredibly rare for them to take anyone here, let alone without hurting them or killing them. Are you sure you’re okay? They can’t hear us,” Jin worrying is usually cute but right now it’s only unnerving me. I may not have an issue with dying but torture or rape isn’t something I want going on in between.

I shake my head, “They were really nice to me, they even left the room when I was changing, Kai is the only one who has actually tried anything with me but even then, the others scolded him for it.”

“Is that why you aren’t afraid of them?” Jimin asks.

“I wasn’t afraid of them because they didn’t set off my alarms.”

“Wasn’t?” Namjoon echoes, “You can’t be afraid of them because of what we told you, they are going to be pissed.”

“What do you except from me Joonie? You basically tell me they rape, torture and murder everyone who comes into this house and expect me to stay calm? You’re joking right?” I almost yell. “I was perfectly fine until you told me all this stuff. I know I should have been afraid of them, I have that much common sense, but they didn’t set off my alarms. Those are what I live my life by, they have never steered me wrong but now you guys have me questioning it. Why couldn’t you guys just leave it alone?”

“Please calm down,” Namjoon covers my mouth. “If you are afraid of them it will only make things worse for both of us, so please try and act normal.”

Our conversation is interrupted by a bear like voice shouting in the doorway, “Talking is done! Time to play!” The elf comes charging down the three steps into the living room, the big smile on his cute face drops when he sees the seven boys crowding me and Namjoon’s hand over my mouth. He looks incredibly pissed at the fear that is probably in my eyes by now. “What did you tell her?” The elf growls, his glare set on Namjoon.

“Hyung, calm down,” Namjoon stands up, his hands in the air in surrender. “We were just talking, everything is fine.”

“No,” Elf snaps, “She looks scared because you told her something.”

“Yeolie,” Puppy comes in, a confused look on his face but as he realizes the situation from Elf’s frown to my obvious fear he gets mad too. “What happened?”

“Everyone just calm down,” Namjoon tries his best to seem calm himself but I can see him shaking. I sink lower in my seat, trying to hide behind Jin, who is obviously tense at the on coming situation.

“Suho hyung!” Puppy yells down the hall.

“Baekhyun hyung, why does he need to come?” Yoongi says nonchalantly, he seems to be the most calm out of all of us. The group of boys appears in the doorway, their eyes try and see past Namjoon, who takes a step back to hide me from their eyes.

“Namjoon,” Suho growls, “I warned you not to scare her.”

“We didn’t scare her, we just told her the hazy truth.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Kai snaps.

“Did you see the way she looked at me when I came in? She looks horrified.” Elf growls.

“That’s because you keep yelling, your voice would probably scare her normally, let alone you yelling about everything,” Jin snaps at him. An angry Jin isn’t something I see often. Elf steps back, even though he is angry he understands his wrongdoing.

“Little one,” Kitty purrs coming to the front of the group. Though he has a sweet smile on his face I have a strong feeling if I don’t react well, he won’t either.

“Yes oppa?” I answer quietly from behind Jin.

There is silence for a moment before he responds, I can tell he is closer this time, “Little one, don’t you want to come see your oppa? These boys didn’t scare you away from us did they?”

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

“What does that mean sweetheart?” Dragon comes closer, like Kitty I can tell this man is also trying his best to stay calm.

“The alarms in my head still don’t go off but,” I pause as I try and think of the right words so my friends don’t get in trouble.

“You said you weren’t afraid of dying, what else could we really do to you?” Kitty asks, right on the other side of the coffee table now. He reaches across and pushes Namjoon out of the way, next he signals a very reluctant Jin to move as well. Soon all of my friends have left me on the couch alone and defenseless against the twelve pairs of eyes that are waiting for my response. “Now tell me Little one, what else could we possibly do to you?”

I blink up at him for a minute, gulping when I see the anger growing in his eyes, in all of their eyes as they scan me as well. Their glare shifts to my friends who are standing by the window with their heads hanging low, waiting for the punishment they know is going to come.

“Can I try talking to her?” Dimple comes forward from the group, looking like an innocent angel with his small smile. With a clenched jaw Kitty nods and steps away from the coffee table, his eyes never leaving me. Dimple isn’t hesitant when he comes closer, coming around the coffee table to sit down next to me. Like most of them, the alarms in my mind are silent, while my common sense is screaming at me to be afraid. “Hello Beautiful,” He says softly, he is even brave enough to hold one of my hands in both of his like Jin was doing earlier. I’m surprised when I feel the same comfort as if Jin himself was doing it.

I blink at him a few times before I say, “Hello Dimple.” The boy laughs charmingly and I suddenly find myself falling under his spell and smiling along with him.

“Now Beautiful, could you tell me what these naughty boys told you about us?” He cocks his head cutely. I nibble on my lip for a second.

“Stopping doing that little one, you’re giving your oppas bad thoughts,” Kitty says as he sits down on my other side. I release my lip before staring down at my lap, a blush crawls across my face.

“They just told me things I kind of already figured, but chose to ignore.” I answer honestly.

“About what?” Dimple strokes my head softly, something Kitty does not appreciate but allows to happen.

“About what could happen to me in between now and when you kill me, if I stay here.”

“Is this because of what Kai was trying?” Bitch face, I mean Sehun, asks glaring at his tan hyung.

“No,” I can’t help but look to my friends for help I know I’m not going to get.

“She was fine before you idiots showed up!” Sehun snapped at my friends.

“Why did you guys have to ruin the one friend who wasn’t afraid of us?” Puppy growls.

“You expect us to believe she was actually your friend?” Yoongi dares to scoff, ignoring all of his friends’ eyes that are begging him to stop talking. “You were just going to play with her, and I mean your guys kind playing, not the kind she was picturing in her innocent little head, and than kill her like she was nothing. We know what happens here, we have no right to judge you because we are a part of this life now too but we don’t have to sit here and watch our friend get pulled down into too.”

“She’s different,” Sehun reasons. “We like her.”

“But how long will that last?”

“We don’t know,” Kai answers.

“And you still expect us to leave her here with you guys with that answer. You guys wouldn’t even let us talk to her, her friends that she has know for a few years, without some kind of promise in return.”

Suho steps forward to answer, “How about we promise that we will not even touch her, without her permission?”

“And if you don’t keep your promise?”

“We will beat that person to death,” Kitty deadpans. I’m surprised when the rest of the group nods in unison. Like me, my friends stare at them dumbstruck.

Clapping his hands together Kitty smiles at me, “Now we can play!” Suddenly, the hostility they had in their eyes disappears and is replaced with playfulness.

“No,” This time it’s Suho to stop the fun, earning a glare from Kitty. “Someone needs to brief the boys on what happened last night.”

“You’re the leader, what does that have to do with me?” Kitty looks back to me. Without another word Suho comes over and picks me up, I wrap myself around him so I don’t fall. “What the hell?”

“You are going to brief them, you and Kris,” Suho states as he sits down a few seats away from Kitty and Dimple, with me on his lap.

“Why?” Both roar as they glare at their leader who seems to be far too focused on me to care.

“You both are closer to her, so this gives the rest of us time to play with her,” Suho grins at me.

“This is so unfair,” Kitty whines.

“You got to sleep with her,” Dimple reasons.

“You slept with her!” Hoseok belts out. “You took our precious Jooyoung’s virginity?”

“Oppa!” I snap, trying to climb off Suho who just tightens his hold on my hips.

“Virginity?” The group echoes their eyes go to me.

I nod, “Virgin.”


so like.. the film Sky High.

not necessarily the plot of the film, but like a fic set at the school Sky High

and Kara’s Superman’s cousin so she’s like a huge deal, and obvs Lena is Lex’s Sister so she’s a huge deal for the wrong reasons and it was like a big scandal when Lena found out she had powers bc the Luthors hate supers

and Lena’s like AMAZING at whatever power she has, but she’s also amazing bc she doesnt rely on her powers. Like she knows how to get shit done without powers, like remember the weird fight ring scene? like someone pressures Lena into that and she finds a way to win without even using her powers and Kara’s super impressed and maybe wants Lena to teach her how to not rely on her powers, and in return Kara teachers her to not feel guilty or be scared of her powers and in the end they work together to defeat the bad guy by Lena using her powers and Kara using the knowledge she’s learned

Please ok im not a writer but loads of y’all ARE and i would kill to read this like I’ll literally be ur number 1 fan new best friend whatever you need

Slytherin Problem # 428

Ok I think all the houses at “self actualization” have the same proclivity for self love and acceptance. That sounds wonderful, right?


What do you think drives a Slytherin?

Sure, one of our main traits is ambition; but where does that come from? Self hate, mostly.

Unfortunately, I hit hit self actualization and started appreciating myself a little too young. Granted, I am pretty damn cool, the youngest person in my field of choice and super successful, I’ve reached a point where sure my body’s not perfect and all that but you know what? I really like me. I’m not a narcissist, I have pretty big flaws and I take into consideration how to be a better person once in awhile -it’s just that on the whole I’m ok with what’s wrong with me. I don’t hate myself anymore.

Considering what I’ve been through in my life I think I’m alright, if I met me I’d tell me I was cool as hell. Why is this a problem? Why is this thing that people struggle to find a misfortune for me?

Because the other three houses have traits that make them strive for shit besides self loathing and just plain ambition or a goal orientation. The other houses have more feeling, more value to certain things that I can’t understand and it’s hard to explain.

Any self respecting Gryffindor who became apathetic would snap out of it because, well, hey asshole gryffindor self we got shit to do and those dishes aren’t going to do themselves. Yay. Adventure.

Or hufflepuff would be like hey self, I know you don’t want to do your homework but if you don’t you’re going to hate yourself because your teachers expect shit from you and you know deep down you’re a hard worker.


I’m like. I don’t want to do that, so I’m not. I’m not going to do anything because I’m so ok with myself that I can’t talk shit to me to get me motivated. You don’t want to fold that fucking laundry that’s been piled for months? Nah it’s cool mate. Chicken nuggets for 8 weeks straight? Shit why not, I don’t judge.

It’s a very strange problem of seeing myself in a great place and being like, you go dude you worked real fucking hard to get here and simultaneously being like hey my guy what’re you doing? My dude! My guy! Hey! You! Are! Letting! Yourself! Go! This! Is! Not! Ok! Quitactinglikeitsokyoupsychopatgyoureruiningyourlifehowreyouokwiththis

TL;DR Slytherins who find self love and acceptance for their flaws are dangerous af for weird, weird reasons.

hrafnsvaengr  asked:

I have a weird question for you. I've heard that politics is really weird and bad and screwed up in Italy, but I know almost nothing about it and any English sources I find are stupid and uninformative beyond saying basically 'Mussolini happened. Then he died. Then the Republic was good again. Then the President had bunga-bunga parties. Now shit sucks.' which, while probably true, isn't helpful. How would you explain Italian politics to a foreigner who doesn't know how Italian government works?

HAHAHAHA YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PERSON. *rubs hands* okay so if you don’t mind I’m going to give the relatively light/crack version of the summary because otherwise I’m just gonna cry myself to sleep because Italian politics are indeed screwed up like hell.

Premise: this is not sourced because it’s late and it’s LONG. Also it’s very much summed-up and not in-depth on purpose, if you want actual long analysis/posts with sources I shall be glad to provide but this is just for bullet points purposes. 

Okay so:

  • First thing, Mussolini wasn’t actually the start of it. Also the republic is just one, and it always was bad - there was a monarchy before Mussolini.
  • Anyway, let’s go in order: Italy became a united nation in 1862. 1870 if you count Rome joining in, but let’s say 1862. We had a constitutional monarchy, the Savoias. Let’s put it in the open right now: the Savoia were and are complete shitheads. Most embarrassing monarchy that Europe ever had. Gdi I feel bad even thinking about them. Anyway, the one good thing the king, Vittorio Emanuele II, had going for him, was his prime minister, aka Cavour. Sadly, Cavour died like a few months after the unification, and that was pretty much the beginning of the end.
  • Anyway, from then on until WWI, we had basically a system that wanted to work like the British monarchy, except that eeeeeh lol we wish. Also it was post-unification so there was a lot of shit to work through never mind that the various PMs all had their good and bad sides, though more bad than good in most cases.
  • Also, in the midst of this mess, since you weren’t a serious nation if you didn’t have a few colonies, we tried to colonize the few non-colonized nations in Africa. It was an all-around disaster. And the only expedition which was technically successful was Mussolini’s in Ethiopia, and that is like one of the most disgusting pages of our history so like, let’s just say it was a bad idea in any case because there weren’t resources and so on.
  • So anyway what happens in WWI: Italy had this sorta treatise with Germany and Austria which basically said that if a war broke out they should all be allied, but Germany and Austria had both done shit behind our backs so first we stayed neutral and then we basically did another treatise with the Allied forces so we’d get territories that in theory belonged to Italy and then weren’t annexed during the independence and so on, and that was when the whole ‘Italians are backstabbers during wars’ deal started. Anyway the army wasn’t anywhere near ready (see: Caporetto. It was so bad that here when we want to say that something went catastrophically wrong we said ‘a little Caporetto happened’) but then the US joined in, the allied had more forces and we all know who won WWI and so we got our territories and so on.
  • That said the situation was highly fragile for the next few years because as stated it hadn’t been a great idea, there money was scarce as usual and so on. And THAT was when Mussolini happened.
  • Not going over Mussolini because I guess everyone has sources on it, but let’s just remember for kicks that: this guy pretty much demonized left-wing parties/ideologies, thought that Italians were a superior race (PPFFFFFFFFF YEAH SURE SURE) - like, Hitler was copying him, not the contrary -, started the Ethiopian colonial war that we won (because we lost the first, and I’d have rather kept on losing them tbh) and then had the genius idea of allying himself with his friend Adolf and get us into WWII ON THE AXIS SIDE JFC WHY, always on the premise that ‘ITALIANS ARE GOOD THE ITALIAN ARMY IS AWESOMECAKES!!!!’ when the only answer would have been ‘lol no’. Also he made a pact with the Catholic Church, the Patti Lateranensi, which is 100% of the reasons why the Church has some ridiculous monetary/political power today still and which would have been enough to send him straight to Hell for an eternity if he hadn’t been a dictator in the first place.
  • The result was basically that until the Americans invaded Sicily (and I swear it’s one of the few times I’ll ever be grateful to Americans for invading any place gdi), we didn’t really accomplish anything except getting heroically killed during huge battles. Instance: El Alamein. Basically most of the Italians died because they fought to the last man while Germans didn’t all of the time, but anyway.
  • After that, Mussolini’s successor Badoglio struck a deal with the allies without telling anyone about it (…) and so like when it was said that we had switched sides, the Germans killed a bunch of Italians whenever they could LOL GUESS WHY. And that was the definitive confirmation of the ‘Italians turn their cloak during wars hahahaha’ stereotype, but whatever.
  • So we spent two years with Mussolini and the Germans in the north and the Allies in the South. They got as far as Rome before winter ‘44 but didn’t manage to go the whole way.
  • Meanwhile the Savoias (who knew about the armistice) fled Rome before it and spent the war in the south protected by the Allies, hahahaha I think about the British royals staying in London during the raids and I weep.
  • Now I’ve been doing this entire WWII detour because otherwise I can’t explain what happened after which is pretty much what shaped Italian politics up to that point.
  • So: first thing, since the Americans/Allies liberated us and not the Russians, we ended up in their influence area, not the Russians. 
  • Also, the two/three years after ‘45 were basically the one time in our history where everyone agreed. And it shows because it was when the Constitution was written and I swear our Constitution is the most beautiful in the universe. If only we put it into practice. Anyway it was written by people from all the political sides, ex-partisans, right-wingers, left-wingers, communists or not and so on. It was awesome. Also, in ‘46 there was an election to decide whether to keep the monarchy or not, and women voted for the first time, and we decided we wanted a republic, and that also was awesome. Goodbye Savoia! They were exiled. Then sadly they came back some ten years ago. The guy who’d be the crown prince right now does reality shows and once sang at the Sanremo festival. And he actually got in third. Yeah, that’s not awesome at all.

Anyway, that was the premise. Got all that? Good, because now I’m actually starting to answer you.

  • So, what happens after WWII? Right, cold war. On which side were we on? Riiiight, the US. What happens in this case? RIGHT, you start side-eyeing communists which translates to ‘let’s just side-eye the left wing anyway’. Yey! Basically what happens after ‘46 is that we get a new system which is a republic with two houses - senato and camera -, a PM who has quite some powers though obviously he needs the houses’ approval to get laws signed and so on, and a president of the Republic who has to supervise everything, sign laws that have the potential to be not constitutional and shit. Like, the president of the Republic should always be someone of note. And he can do other stuff like refusing to nominate a voted PM if they think they’re unfit for the role and so on.
  • So after this, the situation throughout the sixties/seventies is that there’s a huuuge right-center-wing party named Democrazia Cristiana (Christian Democracy, which I’ll now shorten into DC) which was the one grabbing most of the votes since as the name says, you can guess what electorate they had, the Communist party, which was left-wing, a bunch of MORE LEFT-WING PARTIES that no one except like, my parents and students and so on voted, the radicals - who at the beginning were p. cool because they were the ones starting campaigns for divorce and abortion laws, and then they became a joke but whatever. But like the basic divide was DC vs communist party. And the DC won all the time and basically tried to keep everyone content at least on paper. Well, the communists just when they got more votes than usual in the elections.
  • Also since the situation here is crap, there’s corruption and people change party all the time and shit, basically from then on until the current times governments never really lasted the five years they were supposed to - you’d get one, then it’d crumble after a while because not enough support in the parliament, people would go voting again and so on. And people would get relatively scared if the communist party got 23% of the votes.
  • BUUUUT, during the seventies we also had the political terrorism. It’s called years of lead and it was basically twenty years of extreme-left groups and extreme-right groups killing political opponents (but also journalists and civilians, see for example the strage di Bologna) among which former PM Aldo Moro (aka one of the few truly decent people the DC ever produced sadly). The years of lead also included contributions from the secret services (seriously there’s so much hidden shit that we don’t know about, I’m not saying it because of paranoia), mafia assassinations, corruption everywhere, people like Giulio Andreotti (who was basically the total opposite of Aldo Moro may his soul rot in hell if there is one) being in charge a ridiculous number of times, criminal organizations like the banda della Magliana having ties with the government and the Vatican and so on. Never mind that like no party was excluded from this. Tldr: CORRUPTION! CORRUPTION EVERYWHERE!
  • This came to a pass at the beginning of the nineties with the Mani Pulite investigation - this had happened also after the communist party as we knew it had pretty much dissolved into a center-left party another *communist* party - spoilers: from then on, the communist party has been pretty much a joke.
  • Mani pulite basically brought out to light what everyone knew already aka that DC was corrupted to the bone, and so DC dissolved, we changed the voting system so corruption would be less easy (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and some other stuff. At which you go like ‘okay so things got better then’, and I’ll answer you WE ALL WISH, because who happens now? (Spoilers: the republic was never good after Mussolini anyway, but that’s another problem.)
  • MISTER BUNGA BUNGA HIMSELF aka Silvio Berlusconi may his soul rot in Hell if he ever gets there.
  • Basically: this literal piece of shit, no offense to actual pieces of shit, is a businessman who says that ‘he built his empire himself’. No, he did it through a) ties with the mafia, b) CORRUPTION CORRUPTION CORRUPTION, c) MORE CORRUPTION. Back in ‘93/’94, he was on trial for CORRUPTION. And what does this motherfucker do? What everyone does to avoid going to prison: HE RUNS FOR PM!
  • Now, what happens: this fucker owned a quarter of the publishers in Italy, among which Mondadori aka the most important one WHICH HE BOUGHT BECAUSE HE CORRUPTED A JUDGE LOLOLOL, three commercial TVs that were highly popular - like my grandmother and my greataunt would watch just his -, newspapers and so on. So he uses all of that media power to sell this story that since he’s a good businessman he’ll totally save the country after all the Mani pulite corruption! AND HE’LL SAVE IT FROM THE BAD COMMUNISTS!!! Yeah, because we still think communism is horrible same they do in the US when we never even had real communists around, but whaaaatever. In this mess, he also allies with a) Lega Nord aka the xenophobic racist party, b) Alleanza Nazionale which was THE CURRENT VERSION OF THE FASCIST PARTY. No one gave a shit about them until then GUESS WHAT THEY ALLY WITH HIM THEY GO TO GOVERNMENT BECAUSE HE WINS THEY GET INTO PARLIAMENT they still aren’t out. Or well, AN doesn’t exist anymore but its members are all there so. XENOPHOBES AND FASCISTS. YAY! Also, then-president Scalfaro did a fuck-up when he accepted the guy as PM - he could have avoided it since he was under trial, he didn’t, we were all fucked.
  • Anyway, his first government lasted nine months because the xenophobes were idiots (for them) and left him without support. So the center-left wins the elections next round with a guy named Romano Prodi who everyone loves to hate but who’s a perfectly nice prepared guy who deserves a lot more than this country ever gave him.
  • So you think ‘awesome, they’re gonna make it work, right?’
  • OF COURSE NOT, because the Italian left is like pEOPLE ARGUING ALL THE FUCKING TIME never mind that there’s a dude named D’Alema who’s also a tumblr meme (srsly I can’t find his picture rn but I will tomorrow) who pretty much wanted to be at the government but didn’t run and anyway long story short the then-head of the joke of a communist party withdrew support and D’Alema went into power and clearly no one liked it.
  • Of course at the next elections, which were in 2000, guess who runs again and wins? BERLUSCONI! And how does he win them? A LANDSLIDE! And what does he do for the next five years? HE RUINS EVERYTHING! (this all because of his media influence also)
  • In order: he changed a bunch of laws around so his trials wouldn’t run through or he’d get absolved, fucking up a lot of shit in the meantime. His friends from AN and the xenophobic party made a new immigration law which is seriously against human rights. They made a law that pretty much forced people who wanted to get pregnant artificially to go outside the country. He fucked up our national debt because of course he put idiots in the economy ministry. He pretty much fucking RUINED EVERYTHING, and you’d think that at the next elections - still Prodi running - people would be smart, right?
  • NO, because he changes the voting law to something that is literally NOT CONSTITUTIONAL so that HIS party has more chances to win. And it happens that Prodi wins but by a slight margin so he didn’t have enough votes to not risk falling if someone withdrew their support, k?
  • So two years later Berlusconi buys out this other piece of shit named Mastella who’s also in ties with the camorra I think gdi I hate everything, poor Prodi didn’t get support, we go to the elections. (That was a dark time. I cried that day. Gdi it was BAD.)
  • And since this country’s memory when it comes to elections and B. is worse than Dory’s in Finding Nemo, who wins those elections? YEAAAAH BERLUSCONI AGAIN MAN! (I cried again. It was the first time I went to vote. Yeaaaaaaah.)
  • Side story: the Rome mayor ran against B. and obv. couldn’t be mayor anymore, so we had elections again and they managed to vote A DUDE WHO IN THE SEVENTIES WENT AROUND WITH FASCIST GROUPS TO BEAT PEOPLE WHO WALKED AROUND WITH LEFT WING NEWSPAPERS IN HAND. Imagine my happiness.
  • So, B. wins again and everyone is resigned to more idiocy.
  • Which happened, and then his wife sends a letter to a left-wing newspaper saying she’s divorcing him. What the hell? The hell is, two months later we find out this guy basically spent his time fucking prostitutes. AMONG WHICH *UNDERAGE* PROSTITUTES. This happens because one of them gets stopped at the police and he calls saying she should be released because she was MUBARAK’S NIECE. (I don’t even think she was Egyptian? Wait let me look her up. She’s Moroccan.) Anyway this also happened after he went to the coming of age party of this girl from Naples that everyone who didn’t like him think he was having sex with, but whatever. Turns out that this guy had sex with this Ruby girl when she was seventeen and that he has prostitutes literally coming in and out of his house every night, and that a guy who was a tv conductor on his tvs actually went and recruited high schoolers to bring there. And the bunga bunga parties was the way they dubbed his, well, parties. Apparently there was crossdressing and various kinky shit going on. I don’t even wanna know.
  • Also it’s highly probable that two women ministers of his then-cabinet got in that position because they slept with him. They intercepted them complaining about how bad it felt. Ahaaaa.
  • So they put him under trial but he still didn’t resign - that happened when since he was too busy having sex with teenagers our economy plummeted in concomitance with the crisis, the spread with Germany got at seriously worrying rates and then-president Giorgio Napolitano, who’s gonna go straight to Heaven without passing from Purgatory for all he’s had to suffer during his terms, put his foot down and went like ‘no dude you can’t stay there anymore NO ONE WANTS YOU EUROPE WANTS YOU OUT YOU’RE A DISGRACE JUST FUCK OFF’ and so he resigned.
  • We got a new president chosen by Napolitano, Mario Monti, who is a fine economist but a horrid politician. He did some stuff that had to be done, but the support was what it was, Berlusconi obviously was like MONTI IS THE DEEEVIIIIL and blah blah blah anyway we go to the next elections.
  • So you’d think ‘people will vote smart’.
  • Lol.
  • Situation: Monti wasn’t liked because of a few reforms that were necessary but not popular whatsoever. For the first time the left wing seemed not to be arguing. Then fucking Beppe Grillo arrived.
  • Beppe Grillo is a former comedian who says that parties are horrible and all politicians suck. All you need to know about him is that some of his supporters are anti-vaxxers and said that ‘some vaccines caused DNA mutations’.
  • But clearly since people HATE POLITICS, he got popular.
  • Anyway it looked like the left wing was finally having it in the bag. FUCKING BERLUSCONI RUNS AGAIN while under trial AGAIN, for corruption AND the whole prostitution ring thing, and he goes like I’M GOING TO REMBOURSE Y’ALL THE NOT POPULAR TAX ON THE HOUSE INTRODUCED BY MONTI WITH MONEY THAT SWITZERLAND SHOULD GIVE US *ONE WEEK BEFORE THE FUCKING ELECTION*. With a letter sent mostly to old people who calmly went to the post office to get their tax refund because the way it was put, it was already a done thing.
  • Guess what happens….? DRUM ROLL, left wing wins the elections BUT NOWHERE NEAR ENOUGH FOR A GOVERNMENT because B. gets like 23% of the votes and Grillo 20% and the lefties were like 26% and clearly Grillo is an idiot and didn’t ally with them. GUESS WHAAAAAT the poor dude who had been head of the left coalition couldn’t form a government so another left wing party guy appointed by Napolitano formed a government that was basically half left and half right. Hahahaha. Imagine the popularity. 
  • Meanwhile poor Napolitano was there because these idiots couldn’t agree on a new president so they elected him for two consecutive terms - he resigned last January and we have a new one thank fuck, because the guy was seriously in dire need of going to Honolulu.
  • So Enrico Letta aka the guy above forms not popular government. Meanwhile Berlusconi is condemned to social services after being sentenced for a tax evasion fraud of 700 million euros.
  • And then it happens that current premier Matteo Renzi, who’s not my favorite person at all, wins the left wing party primaries, becomes party president, two months later does a congress and he’s like ‘Letta isn’t going anywhere we need a new face’ OBVIOUSLY *HIS* and so bam, Letta doesn’t have support anymore, Renzi becomes PM. And you’d think people wouldn’t vote for him at the European Elections, and I didn’t even if I always voted for his party because it was the last straw.
  • Instead he wins pretty much a landslide and Grillo loses a third of his supporters thank fuck I just hope he loses all the rest before the next one.
  • Anyway now we have Renzi and I don’t like him but I just hope he lasts because if we have to vote I’ll be like what the fuck I don’t know who’s the least bad options.

So, that was a ‘summary of the history of Italian politics since 1862 to us’, obviously don’t take me seriously on everything but that’s the basics. Now I’m gonna put the rest under the cut because LONG POST and I already ranted enough without the cut.

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Operational Security

[Read on AO3]

“…no-one would like to believe General Kenobi’s alive more than I would…”

It was a lie that was getting harder and harder as he watched his two jetiise struggle to find their way in this harsh, unforgiving galaxy; especially now that Ezra had somehow worked out exactly where his old friend was hiding out. And how that had happened was something Rex wasn’t even going to pretend to understand, firmly filing it under ‘weird Jedi shit’.

Arguments had been had about him hiding on Tatooine. Arguments that had ended in Rex being called a filthy hypocrite, and Rex having to reluctantly agree.

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anonymous asked:

Rick have you every walked in on Morty doing something really embarrassing, other than masturbating because that's a normal Morty thing. I mean like... cosplay or finding him singing lady gaga with a hair brush.. or worse???!!!?? Morty as for you have you ever herd Rick say something in his drunken sleep that you probably rather forget about? Ya that's pretty much all for now, BYE!

Morty: H-Hey I worked hard on that….!

Rick: Trust me Morty, you’re lucky you have a grandpa who doesn’t give a fuck about weird shit like that.

You liiiike me! (Jace Wayland x Reader)

Originally posted by bellamyblake

Imagine: Jace Wayland

Pairing: Jace Wayland x Reader

Fandom: Shadowhunters


He couldn’t believe it. How? One day, there comes this girl and is suddenly the star of the institute? Like how? Everyone liked her. Not to mention, she is pretty as well.

Jace didn’t like her. Well he thought that he didn’t like her but deep inside, he liked her. It was weird, because she was so so nice towards him but he was just mean. But she didn’t care. She was still nice.

They trained almost everyday together, because she could surprisingly keep up with Jace pretty well.

“Watch out!”, Jace shouted, while running towards her. But Y/N blocked him and after a few tricks she learned from Hodge, Jace found himself on the ground. “I hate you.”, he said and hissed as he got up. “But you’re good.”

Y/N smiled at Jace widely. “I know. But you still don’t like me, so I guess I still have to convince you that I am better.”

“It’s easy not to like you. You talk way too much and you are annoying. Maybe you should think about it.”, Jace said, smirking.

“You are lucky that I don’t get hurt that easily. So, don’t worry. You’re still the shining, bright star of the institute.”

Jace just rolled his at her and went upstairs to his room.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he found her interesting. Maybe annoying. But if he had to choose who he’d like to train with, he’d choose her. She was talented. And that was true.

For her it didn’t matter if people liked her or not. She was just herself and Jace found that hard to believe at first. She didn’t need to do anything to get attention. She was just like that.

One day, Jace had to go on a mission with Y/N. He didn’t complain, because he knew that he had a good partner who could fight.

“So, where are those demons?”, Y/N asked as she looked around the Central Park.

Jace had his seraph blade in his hands and was ready to fight. “They’ll come around.”

“But it’s boooring! Demons can be so slow.”, Y/N sighed and sat down under a tree.

“Can you shut up for fucking once?! You talk too much!”

“I know, you told me a few times.”, she smirked at Jace. “You know, you complain a lot when it comes to me. So why don’t I start talking about you and your problems, huh?”, she stood up and looked at him.

“First of all: You are very narcissistic. You love yourself more than anyone else. Maybe you should start thinking about the others as well? That wouldn’t hurt.”

“Second: You want attention. It kills you that the others in the institute direct their attention towards me and not you. Just because you were the best Shadowhunter, doesn’t mean that no one else can take that spot.”

“And lastly: Stop judging other people. Well, stop judging me. I may talk too much but that is just the way I handle my feelings! If something hurts me, then I start talking about different things. But I don’t get hurt by your words, Jace. Because I know you never mean what you say to me. Because you like me.”, she finally said and smiles. “How does it feel? The taste of your own medicine?”

Jace was speechless for the first time in a very long time. He didn’t know that she thought that way. Since that mission, he started to take her more seriously. That night, they fought together as a team. They were stronger than ever.


He didn’t even realize that he fell in love with her until the day when some guy from Idris came. He was every girls dream (besides Jace of course). Even Y/N’s. That’s what Jace thought.

“Hey, so I am Tyler, I am from Idris and today your partner for your training!”, he said to Y/N and shook her hand.

She smiled brightly. She never smiles that much. “Well, I am Y/N! Nice to meet you. Oh and that grumpy cat there is Jace. Just ignore him.”

Jace rolled his eyes and took a really aggressive sip of his water bottle. He literally glanced at Tyler. “Hi.”, he said in a very harsh tone.

“Well, why don’t we start, Y/N?”

So they trained. They had a lot of body contact. He was really close to Y/N, which was too close for Jace’s liking. But he couldn’t say anything. It’s not like they were in a relationship or something.

It’s weird, Jace thought. A month ago, he hated her, but now he was jealous of a guy who was supposed to train her. He did his job and he did nothing wrong. But Jace hated him.

Jace watched both of them the whole time. But in the moment, where Tyler helped Y/N getting up and they were really close (only a few inches were between them), Jace lost his shit.

“What the hell are you doing, dude?!”, Jace stood up from his spot and marched towards them. Then he pushed him off her angrily.

“Jace!”, Y/N shouted.

“What is your problem?! I am training!”, Tyler shouted at Jace. He really tried to stay calm.

“You touched her way too often!”

Y/N stared with disbelief at Jace. Was he jealous? Of her and Tyler? What the hell? “Uh, Jace? You should know that Tyler’s engaged.”, you slowly say.

Jace stood there, dumbfounded. Oh no. He was jealous of an engaged man. Wow. Great Job, Jace, he thought. “Oh..”

Tyler just smirked. “It’s okay.”

Jace avoided Y/N the whole day, while she tried to talk to him all day. He would find a way to avoid her and he was good at it. The day went by and Y/N caught Jace in the library.

“There you are!”, Y/N shouted and ran towards him.

‘Oh shit’, he thought and tried running away from her. But well, that did not work. Y/N caught him between two bookshelves.

She smirked at the blonde boy in front of her. “Finally. I heard something.”, she said.

“Oh, really?”

She nodded at him. “I heard that you were jealous of me and my trainer? Mhm, weird. Why would you be jealous?”, she smirked more. “Or do you.. Liiiiiike me?”, she laughed at Jace. “You like me!”

Jace eyes widened with fear. He pinned her to the bookshelf and put his hand over mouth. “Stop talking so loud!”, he whispered.

She put his hand down. “Well, then you should admit it, my friend. You like me, you like me, you liiiike me!”



“Stop denying it, Jace!”, you grinned. “You don’t like me, you loove me-”

Before she could talk more, Jace kissed her. To shut her up, of course. But the kiss lasted longer than he expected it to be. The taste of her lips were addicting and he couldn’t get enough of it. Her lips were soft and nice. Jace lost himself in the kiss and so did Y/N.

Someone coughed and they quickly broke apart, seeing Maryse Lightwood staring at them. “Maybe you should go in your rooms.”, she said and just walked away.

“That was embarrassing.”, Y/N said and laughed. “But I have to say, you’re a good kisser, my friend.”

“You really handle your feelings better by talking too much. I only did that to shut you up, because you talked too much, obviously!”, Jace said quickly but still smiling at her.

“I only repeat what I said earlier: You liiiike me!”

#45 [Adam Cole]

Requested, #45: “You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.” from here.

@superkixbaybay @hiitsmecharlie @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @valeonmars @bulletbaybay

It was day four of being medicated to treat a nasty case of bronchitis. While the z-pack of antibiotics hadn’t yielded any side effects, the codeine cough syrup certainly had. For some reason, that particular medicine was causing your sleep time to become, you guessed, what an acid trip felt like.

The first night you’d found yourself dream-working in an underground department store, where sharks and fishes shopped as though they were humans, and paid in seashells.

A nap had yielded a very vivid experience of being a horse-back jumping champion, where you were apparently Russian, and almost disqualified from the Olympics for using a certain type of hand lotion which was banned.

The second night brought you the vision of going for a midnight snack in your house, only to open the fridge to the pickles putting on a cabaret-type show. Dream-you had applauded them and closed the fridge as their curtain call.

After that, you’d taken a break from the medicine. While the dreams had been funny to recall, you didn’t like waking up feeling confused and still as sick as before.

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Danny Boy

Summary: Dan finds a weird art major lying on the floor of a practice room. Oddly enough, he finds that he enjoys this guy’s company while he sings.

Prompt: “Oh, good, an empty practice roo–holy shit! Why are you lying on the ground in the dark?!”

Genre: College AU, Humor, Different First Meeting, Music Major!Dan, Art Major!Arin

Warnings: slight blood mention, swearing

A/N: I don’t even have an explanation. I wrote this in half an hour after working nonstop on a British Lit paper and astronomy homework. I want to try writing more AUs based on these two nerds, so this was more the ease me into it and fend off writer’s block than anything. Also I’m sorry for the abrupt ending and how unsatisfying it is. I KNOW. If I had more energy I’d punch myself. But whatever, take it. Also, the choir song “Danny Boy” is beautiful. Listen to it sometime. Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!

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Johnny, Kick a Hole in the Sky (1/?)

TITLE:  Johnny, Kick a Hole in the Sky

Summary: follow this post. “I wonder if they have a 100 pick up lines, but for men?” or the fic where Johnny visits the bookstore for the first time since he got his copy of 100 Pick Up Line Guaranteed to Make Women Love You. 

I promise it’s not crack. @c2ndy2c1d this is your fault.

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