Okay, but what about marathons tho. Humans are built to follow animals on foot. Until the animal literally gives up and dies. That’s how we hunt. We’re not super fast or claw-y or bite-y. we just keep running. Forever.
Imagine aliens finding out about marathons. Aliens who are stealth predators or evolved from sedentary species learning that humans just straight up run their prey to death.
Alien Wimu: Human Nik, I have been watching this hologram for several ngu’la. What are these humans doing? Human Nik: Oh, wow, that’s the Olympics! It’s a competition where humans see who is the best at various physical tasks. This is the marathon, I think? Alien Wiro: We have tests of physical prowess on Mngumu as well. But I have been watching for several ngu’la and these humans have been running the entire time. I am concerned. Are they well? Has something gone wrong with the event? Is something chasing them? Human Nik: Nope, that’s the event! It’s actually really cool. A long time ago, this human ran – a bunch of kilometers? Something like 40, I think – because he was carrying a message to a place called Marathon from … someplace in Greece because of a war or something. He died I think. Anyway, now a lot of people do it! I actually ran a half-marathon for charity once. It was pretty grueling but it felt really good. Alien Wiro: …I’m sorry, but I believe you said 40 kilometers. That is equivalent to roughly 349 shmo! Human Nik: Yeah, that sounds about right. Alien Wiro: And you said the original person died? Human Nik: Well, I think. But like I said we train for it now. It’s not so bad, really. Alien Wiro: … Human Nik: Anyway, thanks for showing me! It’s really easy to lose track of time up here, wow. Had no idea the Olympics were happening. Alien Wiro: …
i love little shop of horrors bc seymour is like “i guess ill feed this dangerous carnivorous plant some of my own blood :/” and the audience is supposed to be like NOOOOOOO DONT DO IT!!!! but like its so funny bc we’re really pretending that if any carnivorous plant hobbyist came across a previously unknown and dangerous carnivorous plant that needed blood to grow they wouldn’t at least consider this option. like if you have ever witnessed a carnivorous plant chat or forum for .4 seconds u would know that if little shop of horrors happened irl you bet ur ass the carni community could not be trusted to put human priorities before the priorities of a strange carnivorous plant species bought for $1.25