weird weird kid

The signs as my students

Aries: The girl who answered the question “what’s something that’s magnetic?” with “Beyonce” 

Taurus: The boy who ran around at recess screaming “I LIVE TO DIE”

Gemini: The kid who thought snapchat face filters were just some cool game and was always asking if he could ‘play snapchat’

Cancer: The student who looked me straight in the eyes and said “I can see things other people can’t” and then went right back to drawing velociraptors.

Leo: The girl who wrote a full-page story about a woman who fell in love with a giant ear of corn. The best line of the story being “The corn was always there for her.”

Virgo: The kid who would call me over to fill me in on the latest third grade gossip every morning

Libra: The student who dramatically sat down across from me after school and said, “Miss we need to talk business” when asked what kind of business replied, “Chip business”

Scorpio: The student who was not actually in my class at all but was somehow always in the classroom anyway

Sagittarius: The boy who during aftercare somehow snuck out of the school, walked to the 7-11, and then came back with a huge bag of chips

Capricorn: The boy who grabbed my hands one day, started humming tango music, and proceeded to pull me away to dance around the room with him

Aquarius: The kid that called me over in the middle of silent reading time to tell me that moth man did nothing wrong and was just a guy trying his best

Pieces: The little girl who every time she saw me would scream “warning you!” before jumping onto me and expecting me to catch her

Taught some fifth graders how to build a fire today.
Kid: “It looks like the fort we built!”
Me: “Yeah, it does! Except with flammable material inside instead of children.”
Other kid: “Children can be flammable, if we soak ourselves in gasoline!”
Me: “Okay, that’s true, but you should generally avoid doing that. I’m glad you’re willing to help, but I don’t need to build a fire that badly.”

Chips are life.

[Quick update]

Hey guys! Really sorry for the lack of new comics - I’ve been hella busy lately. My schedule is a bit all over the place right now, but I promise that I’ll do my best to post at least once a week! 

Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

happy && in love !!

i’m convinced that Tony doesn’t actually go to high school and just shows up occasionally to give cryptic advice to Clay

((I don’t know if this has been done, so if it has please tell me.))

So I’ve seen a lot of those ‘Humans are Space Orcs’ posts and I think those are really cool, but unnoticed they all consist of one thing: humans traveling with the aliens.

So there are a lot of ways you can do that, right? You could go all Star Trek and make it to where the humans and aliens all live together in harmony and travel space together and things like that. But I have a different idea and I think it’s pretty cool.

So humans don’t really know aliens exist. Obviously you have your conspiracy theorists and loons and the occasional 'abducted’ person, but for the most part it’s just generally accepted that aliens are fun and all, but they’re not /real/.

And then there’s this kid. He/she/they don’t really have a happy life, but they can’t really do anything about it. You can make them whatever you want, have any or of disorder or disability or just make them an angsty teen that comes from an unhappy home. They want to leave, but they’re too young, so they have to stay.

Then of course, the aliens come. But instead of crap like Independence Day (I say crap in a loving way, the movie was pretty good and I like it), the aliens just take one look at the kid, pick them up, and leave. That’s it. Nothing else. Just take the kid and go.

Of course the kid is terrified at first, but after like the first day or so they calm down because the aliens are treating them like gosh-darn royalty. They put the kid up in the nicest room on the ship, give them the best food they can muster from their rations, and provide for any kind of entertainment the kid might want. It’s like paradise, and the kid is happier than they’ve been in a while.

So the kid travels with these aliens on all sorts of cool adventures and throughout this period is when we get the 'Humans are Space Orcs’ discoveries. Like the kid will go up to random giant furry beasts and just glomp them and coo at them while the aliens are like “No that’s deadly it will kill you oh my god what is this kid doing?!?!” Or, if the kid has a uterus, come time for their period the aliens freak out because “Oh holy shmarda, the child is bleeding!! Why is the child bleeding?!” Hilarious antics and shenanigans ensue and the child is so happy with their new life that they never want to go back home.

Also included: drama when the aliens return to earth to find a human companion for the child (even though they didn’t ask for one you guys don’t have to do this really it’s fine) and the parents of the kid demand they be returned immediately. The kid doesn’t want to go back of course so the aliens have to fight for custody over the kid in court (I guess idk but something along those lines. Maybe the humans try to kill the aliens because the kid was “abducted” and that causes a lot of angst and problems.).

Idk just something that’s been floating about in my imagination for a while. I think it would be a really cool show though tbh like someone hire me.

anonymous asked:

hi! love your account! could you do a scenario of what shinee would be like as preschoolers?

hello there! i’ll try my best anon! 

onew: 

  • really likes legos
  • does NOT like sharing them 
  • lives for nap time 
  • chicken nugs for lunch all day eryday 
  • pororo band-aids all over him 
  • falls down a lot but never cries 
  • will pass out anywhere 
  • tried to eat a crayon bc he was hungry and couldn’t wait for lunch time 

jonghyun: 

  • really likes knocking over legos (”I AM GODZILLA”) 
  • therefore is at war with jinki 
  • crazy gelled up hair 
  • is not allowed to have apple juice anymore bc it makes him wayyyyyyy too hyper 
  • “jonghyun stop taking off your clothes”  
  • always has one of those plastic recorders in his hand (toot toot) 

key: 

  • adorable!!!!!!! in OVERALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • stickers all over his folders and clothes
  • draws on his desk (and taemin) with a tube of lipstick which magically disappears when the teacher looks for it (”you can’t prove it was me”) 
  • learned a curse word
  • will not stop saying it
  • time out time forever 

minho:

  • ALWAYS running and the teacher is always chasing him
  • runs like naruto
  • LIGHT UP SHOES
  • the kid who actually prefers apples/carrots over oreos for snack time 
  • refused to come! back! inside! after recess 
  • buys extra pretzels to share 
  • named his hands and feet 

taemin: 

  • the bowlcut
  • carries around a backpack that is twice his size 
  • literally nothing in said backpack 
  • looks like an angel but is a menace to society 
  • flipped all the chairs in the classroom upside down, refuses to make eye contact when asked why he did that 
  • set the class hamster free 
  • hugs all the girls 
  • a fly landed on him and he was inconsolable for an hour 
  • Ciel: I've never been in a snowball fight.
  • Lizzie: Really?
  • Ciel: I don't even know the rules. Is there like a points system, or is it to the death?

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m WEIRD. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in. And I don’t WANT to fit in. 

Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? It’s weird.

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smol™