weird things i think of at 3am

A odd thing has been happening to me for the past few nights. I think i’ve developed a habit of waking up at 3am and think of you. How weird, it’s something that’s occurring to me ever since you became just a memory of a time of happiness in my life. The first time it happened, I first dreamed of your face. The way the corners of your eyes would wrinkle up and a shadow of a dimple would appear on each side of your wide smile as you looked down into my eyes. The second time it happened, I dreamed of your touch, I felt how you would wrap your hands around me and hugged me, even though I claimed that I hated it. Every night, dreaming first, then thinking of what ifs. Yesterday, I dreamed of you telling me that it was over, leaving me alone once again. Although, in this dream, I couldn’t recall exactly how your voice sounded like. And I woke up and sat up thinking of your laugh, one of the few things that I still haven’t forgotten about you.
—  1:04

Team Fortress 2 is the greatest metaphor for groupwork we will ever have…

there’s a medic who’s trying to keep everyone peppy no matter how hard the task but might lose their shit at the first inconvenience, predominantly bc no one is keeping THEM peppy (except the heavy maybe), so little negativities and issues start to get to them, especially if people start doing stupid shit or leaving everything on the medic type… core of the group bears the largest portion of blame whether they want it or not

the heavy who is ready to tackle the problem head on and take no prisoners but he will provide a sandvich -literal or figurative- for people at random intervals to keep them alive through the process. likes things to be fair, will listen to everyone’ss ideas in turn and then provide a good answer, simple and effective, an amalgamation if possible… tends to surprise other group members. also sometimes just fucking obliterates teammates who are wasting time or saying stupid things…

the must-do-well soldier type, who try to take command and sometimes succeed but mostly cripple themselves trying to be the leader with the perfect plan when really everyone on the team is just fumbling around in confusion as much as he is… will shout encouragement, provide general platitudes, has no idea what the fuck is happening

the clever guy engie who doesn’t want to fucking do anything towards this unless he has to, bc he knows from experience he’d end up doing it all if the team ever realised just how smart he was… and that’s not in the blueprints for this project, pardner! Will dispense insight and information if asked right…

the demoman of groupwork tends to randomly appear and bomb you to damn death with Ideas and Thoughts and Concepts but quickly runs out of ammunition and fucks off again without warning… then return, no matter the plan you’ve formulated, and toss down a rain of metaphorical hellfire in the form of new ideas that may or may not be entirely removed from the main topic… it keeps everyone on their toes, but can sideline or demoralise theose affected…

the scout is the one who is 3000% invested in getting it all bullshitted in under an hour, so they can do something the fuck else more entertaining… maybe they hate the course, maybe they’re energetic/excited for this assignment, maybe they’re anxious and just blitzing through it works for them…. the one who just speeds through their portion of the project and complains when the rest can’t keep up, tends to jump from topic to topic too quick… can be annoying, or a blessing, depends on the situation. usually an oddly positive person

the sniper, the dude that works from a distance… as in, you’re sure they’re part of the group bc they’re getting the emails and responding to texts, but you only see them rarely…. he never says much, but when the guy contributes, it’s usually a bloody brilliant point… and this is the one with the external perspective so important to academia, most often offers to edit/proofreader your final work for mistakes…

the pyro… is the one person in the group who is just sunshine and rainbows until you realise they’re capable of outperforming everyone if they’re so inclined, and they will cut you down in the most adorable of ways, if you argue with them bc they know better, more. sure they’d like to have group cohesion, and this is fun for them, the work and the group combined, but never mistake their gentle complacency about any task given… for anything less than what it is, assisting you all to commit cold-blooded academic murder on the rest of the class’s grades. something about them, even if they’re quiet, makes you listen… bc you feel like if you don’t… you’ll fail

and the spy, he knows exactly what you need to do and how to do it… unfortunately, he’s also the one dude who fucks off to who knows where but his name still ends up on the paper/presentation as if he did all the work, the teachers are all charmed and tend to attribute your blood, sweat, and tears, to this dude.

-

overall it starts as innocuously as all other things do. you are randomly slotted into a group, different skills and abilities, to see what you can do in a specific task…

and sure, you might start out with a plan, but godamnnit, after the first three seconds something’s on fire, several teammates are dead, you can only vaguely remember your sense of purpose and the timer is ticking down

Fic Author Self Rec

@phd-mama tagged me to do the fic author self rec, where we rec our own fics and then tag other authors. Anyone who knows me knows that I start to freak out if people actually… get excited about my fics. So this is good practice! Love thyself. Love thyfics.

5. Six Weeks. This was my Big Bang from last year, and also the first fic I ever started planning. It’s also the closest I’ve ever gotten to something like angst, and by reading it you’ll be able to tell that yes, I am apparently a fluff fiend at heart.

4. Down the Backs of Tabletops (and ticket stubs in the attic). I wrote this for a fiction writing class, and every day when I had to bring it in to class for discussion, I just did a mass name-change from one direction to random names, ahahaha. So approximately 20 English majors read this and sort-of approved of it (except one asshole who drew memes all over it and told me that it shouldn’t have a happy ending because that’s “expected” and “drab” like, fuck off). It’s weird and you’re not going to understand what’s going on until, like, halfway through? But halfway through 7k isn’t that far! I believe in you, dear reader!

3. Record Your Fate (and Write Me In). This fic makes me think of watching Frozen at 2am with my roommates spooning on the couch next to me and talking in their sleep, because that’s when I wrote 90% of it. One thing that you need to know about me is I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort, but also for weird fantasy, and I was somehow able to squash both of them into this fic. It’s weird. You should read it.

2. For the Love of Honey. This was all written between the hours of midnight and 3am, and by reading it I think that’s obvious. This fic reads like something that someone who never sleeps and also has just drunk a venti caramel macchiato sans-milk would write. Personally, I think it’s funny. But maybe that’s just me.

1. I Don’t Love You I Want in Your Heart. For some reason I’ve become so… attached to this fic. If you want something else to make you laugh, this is (hopefully) it. It’s also a/b/o, which I know is not a lot of people’s cuppa tea, but I’ve been told that it’s good even if you don’t like it! High praise, let me tell you.


Okay I have NO clue who has and hasn’t done this at this point (but damn I’m always one of the last ones to do this, how inconvenient!) so I tag @lululawrence, @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed and @hrrytomlinson

Sleepless Night | V x Reader

Rating: General
Word Count: 769
Genre: Fluff
Summary: You have a short conversation with V in the chatroom.
Note: I only realized after I saved the chatroom conversation to .JPG that I should have removed the “Name” part of the reader and was too lazy to fix it. I’m sorry. ;;

“Make sure you go to bed early.”

That concerned message directed towards you was sent on the messenger hours ago, yet for some strange reason, somebody always had to be awake at 3AM and talking about the randomest things. Then again, it is 3AM, and almost everybody always has something weird to say or think about at this ungodly hour.

Keep reading

unrelated to anything but i think by far the strangest thing about my kitten is her affinity with my old robotic toys

i can’t tell you the level of stress it puts me under to be in complete silence at 3am, then to have a doorbell go off, followed by a voice saying “uh oh, here we go” because she’s playing with my old zhu-zhu pets
or to find the furreal friend cat (who’s missing various body parts) in weird and vexing places every morning because she hauls it around like a smaller, less able kitten

anonymous asked:

do you have a thing for blaise? they say there's a thin line between love and hate. or lust and hate

honesty hour !!

“i’m her boss… and blaise is the type of girl you’d walk into her apartment at 3am to find her eating a pig’s heart or something fucking weird like that. i’m not into that. at least i don’t think i am?”

Watanabe family headcanons
  • You got her name because her parents thought that they were getting a son (“You” can be used for both males and females). The exact origin of the name is a combination of the phrase that Mrs. Watanabe associates the most with her husband (“yousoro”, which would later on become You’s own catchphrase) and the term that Captain Watanabe associates the most with his wife (the kanji for You’s name is associated with “sun”, “glorious”, “bright”, etc.).
  • You’s dad was actually a little disappointed when he found out that You was a girl, because he had hopes of going on father-son adventures with his firstborn. Then baby You’s first word turned out to be “Papa”, and he instantly fell in love. You also grew up to be quite the tomboy, so You’s dad ended up having adventures with his firstborn anyway, with the added bonus of having a daughter who looked really cute in a sailor uniform.
  • Captain Watanabe taught You self-defense techniques because no way in hell are any perverts gonna have their way with his precious daughter!!! He made sure that she could even fight back against someone as large as him (a fully-grown muscular man), so it’s no wonder that You easily overpowered Mari in Episode 11.
  • You’s dad is a fantastic cook - especially when he’s drunk. He’ll get very odd cravings which, when combined with his drunken state, leads to strange but delicious new recipes. You has a very good sense of smell (*sniff sniff* a uniform!) so no matter what god-awful hour it is in the night, she’ll wake up when her dad starts cooking. Over the years, she’s picked up a lot of his techniques. This is why You was able to improvise a dish from Mari’s Stewshine and Yohane’s Tears of a Fallen Angel in Episode 10.
  • Mrs. Watanabe is actually terrible at household chores. You loves salisbury steak because it’s one of the few dishes that her mom can make without creating an utter disaster. You knows her dad’s curry recipe by heart because she learned it at a very young age out of desperation. She’s pretty much in charge of doing the sewing when Captain Watanabe needs his uniforms fixed as well.
  • You tends to bicker a lot with her mom, since Mrs. Watanabe is the stricter parent (out of necessity: Captain Watanabe is gone most of the time due to his job as a ferry captain, so he endlessly spoils You in the rare moments that he’s home). Mrs. Watanabe is the classic “screams-when-she’s-angry” type, while You, of course, takes after her dad and gets very quiet and withdrawn when she’s upset. Their fights tend to be about minor things though (e.g. staying up late, sub-par test scores), so they’re usually resolved pretty quickly and the two will be back to normal after a day or so.
  • You inherited her wavy hair and sunny disposition from her mom. When she was younger, Mrs. Watanabe was very self-conscious about how frizzy her hair would get whenever it was rainy or humid, and used to be bullied because of it. Then one day, the stoic boy who sat in the back of the classroom suddenly walked up to her and said, in a quiet but deep voice, “I think your hair is beautiful, so please don’t let it keep you from showing that bright smile of yours.” No one dared to tease her again after that.
  • Even though that was years ago, Mrs. Watanabe is still a little sensitive about her hair. When she found out that she passed along this trait to her daughter, she made sure to keep You’s hair short because she didn’t want her daughter to go through the same thing. Luckily, You didn’t mind since she preferred having short hair for practical reasons (i.e. easier to manage when swimming).
  • If you couldn’t tell from that clichéd-sounding romantic line before, You picked up her charms from her dad. They’re both naturals when it comes to making girls swoon.
  • You’s dad and mom were each other’s first love (You’s dad was a bit of a playboy so he dated a number of girls, but You’s mom was the first person he truly loved) and their story is basically straight out of a shoujo manga: happy-go-lucky heroine falls for the strong-and-silent boy who will do anything to protect her.
  • You’s parents started dating in high school, but had to separate for a few years because You’s dad went to work aboard a ship in order to gain experience for becoming a captain. Before he left, he told You’s mom, “No matter where I go, my heart will always be with you, so…will you wait for me?” and then bent down on one knee and reached into his pocket to pull out a small box and oh god I’m grossing myself out with the amount of cheese here so I’m just gonna stop lol.
  • Later on, when You’s parents find out that their daughter is gay, Mrs. Watanabe smacks her husband and tells him, “See, this is all your fault for being so overprotective! Since you insisted on sending her to girls’ schools and kept threatening to kill any boys that got close to her, you’ve turned her into a skirt-chaser. Just look at your daughter’s shameless flirting with her 17 girlfriends, goddamn it!”
  • You’s dad is very conflicted about this. On the one hand, he had always been lowkey worried that You would fall for some cocky sailor boy because of her obsession with uniforms, so he’s glad that this nightmare will never come true. On the other hand, he now fears that one day his daughter will get lynched by the fathers of the countless girls who’ve fallen under the Watanabae spell.
  • The next father-daughter late-night cooking session has Captain Watanabe awkwardly clearing his throat and saying, “Look, you know I’ll always support you…so if you ever want any advice on dating girls and, er…other things…I’m here for you…”
  • You contemplates taking her dad’s shot glass and chugging down his drink because this is not a conversation that she wants to have while sober.
  • “…please Papa, let’s just finish frying this kiwi.”
  • Later on when You does drink, her cocktails of choice are things like daiquiris and mojitos and long island iced teas. Everyone is somewhat bemused by this since they’re such fruity drinks, until they remember these all have a hearty amount of rum and other hard liquors in them, and You usually gulps down glass after glass of these “girly” concoctions.
  • You’s personal favorite was introduced to her by Mari, and contains gin, rum, tequila, vodka, Blue Curacao liqueur, sweet and sour mix, and 7-Up. The name of this cocktail: “Adios Motherfucker”.

It’s weird how at a time in your life you were so close to someone. When you’re with them you wish it won’t ever end and you’re sure that it won’t. You never think that the last time is the last time, it comes unexpectedly and that’s what’s so weird about it you can’t explain how all those emotions all those times you were sure about it just ended. like remember it wasn’t even a few months ago we used to do the craziest things together I mean you can’t forget about the deep conversations we had like around 3am we just said everything on our mind, but it sucks because you did forget everything and today I don’t even know how to say hey. This isn’t supposed to happen but it did and there’s nothing I can do about it. I guess everything does happen for a reason, I wanna know how you feel about this whole situation, it’s like I want to forget everything between us but I’m also waiting on the day you talk to me again.. I don’t hate you and I never will I just act like I do because it seems much easier than missing what we had.

zara-zaza  asked:

If you were my girlfriend we would scream, fangirl and cry togheter over BTS we would also create a mess and chaos everywhere we go... now thinking about it I don't think it would be good to date since we are both too weird for this world 😂 plus I'm the kind of girl that go out at like 3AM and do the craziest thing because I need my life to be full of adventure... let's not date I don't want to hurt you 😂😂 (but I still love you💕)...

You almost sound like me but less crazy 😂😂 LET’S DATE AND RUN THE WORLD~♡
#the apocalypse would be nearing because of us lol

I need to sleep I know I do. But my sleep schedule is very out of wack now because I keep falling asleep at random for nearly 5 hours at a time.

So I’m sitting here at 3am, thinking of weird Martin Headcanons. And wondering how I’ll fit that into rps I’m trying to do.

But also, trying not panic about things I probably don’t need to panic about but my anxiety recently has been wrecking me. Cold clocking me in the FACE.

Wrong Number (Jr.)

Originally posted by younglordswerve

Plot: Hey you called me at 3am and we talked about some pretty deep stuff do you remember that? AU

Length: 1,470 words

Genre: Fluff

*A/N: This is Volda’s scenario prize for winning my scenario contest :-) Hope you like it, girlie!

Keep reading

Some space au thoughts before I go to bed.

The chlorii get all their nourishment from absorbing water through roots and photosynthesizing sunlight, right?
So they’d probably find the idea of eating really weird.

“Let me get this straight. You put things. - dead animals, dead plants - inside your body. You mash them up with bones inside your mouth. And if you don’t do this several times a day, you die.
That’s freaking weird.”

Although now that I think about it, carnivorous plants do exist, but it’s 3am and this thought was amusing to me so I’m posting it anyway.

say something ~ ashton

this is quite short, but I missed writing so hey here ya go??

It was all too easy, falling for Ashton.. And it was almost like the snap of a finger the way it happened, like a light switch being turned on. You tried, you really tried not to fall, but it was inevitable. He was everything that you had ever wanted all wrapped into one. He was kind; the sort of kind where it would almost shock you when he’d go out of his way to do things for others. He was beautiful; the kind of beautiful where it took your breath away to see his eyes glimmer in the sun, or how his hair would get curly when he got out of the shower, the damp curls dripping onto his glowing skin. He was talented; his talent would almost make your heart stop, watching him intently writing, or drumming with every muscle in his body. 

But the downfall, the big horrible, terrifying downfall. 

He was inlove with somebody else.

You watched him stare up at the ceiling of his bedroom, watching the fan spin around and around and around for hours. Not saying a single word. So unlike the Ashton that you loved. He fell inlove easily. He fell inlove within weeks of knowing someone. But somehow he’d skipped you along the way. 

One night, he’d come and smashed on your door, piss drunk and collapsed at your feet, clutching your legs with all the power he had in his body. That was the first of many nights you’d held his head against your chest, his tears silently staining your tshirt. It was hard, seeing your bestfriend with a broken heart, but it was even harder pretending to be upset about the breakup. It was selfish of you, but you couldn’t help it because seeing him happy with her tore you apart, endless crying in the shower, Luke had caught you crying at a party in your car and never let it go after that. You begged Luke to keep it a secret, and he did, you were thankful for that at least. 

It was a month later, after the breakup. Ashton was finally getting back to his normal self. The two of you were getting back to how it used to be. But how it used to be made you angry, deep down. Because he acted as if you two were more than friends, and it made you furious. He touched your waist and your thighs in ways that made you wish things could be different. It took a while for your anger to bottle up. Until the night you exploded. 

You were sitting and chewing on your nails as the boys drank beers and spoke loudly around you. You watched Ashton, his eyes flickering back and forth from Michael to you. But you sat there in silence. It was getting harder and harder to be around him while he talked about other girls he was into. It was harder and harder to pretend you weren’t inlove with him. 

“What’s up with you grumpy?” Calum threw a piece of popcorn at you and it hit you right in the eye.

“Fuck off Calum! Jesus christ, are you 5 years old?” You shouted and the room went completely quiet.

“Y/N..are you ok?” Michael asked, his eyebrow cocked in your direction.

“Since when is my well being such a fucking concern to all of you? Can’t I just sit here without being questioned?” You shouted again, you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks. You didn’t want to yell at them. They really didn’t do anything wrong. But hearing Ashton talk about other girls made your blood boil. 

“Can I talk to you upstairs for a minute?” Luke cut in before you exploded even further. You nodded and Ashton gave you a concerned look before you stomped up the stairs, Luke close behind you. He shut the bedroom door behind you and you sat on the edge of the bed. “Y/N..you have to tell him.” 

“Fuck. That.” You scoffed and Luke rolled his eyes.

“You can’t snap like this without an explanation and I know it’s because we were talking about the hot chick Ash met at the bar.” 

“Fuck you not everything is about Ash-”

“Bullshit Y/N and you know it.” He looked at you and that was all it took for tears to slowly roll down your cheeks. You stood up and sobbed into his chest, praying no one would come upstairs and see you like this. Especially not Ashton. 

“The way he talks to me, the way he holds me and touches me. It’s not fair. It’s not fair for him to do that if he doesn’t want me like that. It’s too hard, it makes me fall even harder for him and I’m tired. I’m just tired Luke.” You sniffed and he kissed you hard on the top of the head. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Ashton stood with his arms crossed across his chest and his eyes narrowed in your direction. Luke squeezed your hand before shaking his head and leaving the room without another word, leaving you and Ashton to stand like a draw in silence. “So? Was I interrupting something? Kinda weird how you and Luke were up here talking alone.” He said with his jaw tight.

“It’s not weird, we’re friends. We talk up here alone all the time.” You snapped back at him.

“If you and Luke have something going on, it’s fucked up that you wouldn’t tell me.” He said and took a step towards you. You wanted to scream at his stupidity. How could he not realize that HE was the only one you wanted, the only one you dreamt about, the only one you craved.

“Nothing is going on with us Ashton, and if it were, I wouldn’t have to tell you shit. What I do is none of your business.” Your voice gradually got louder, you felt the heat rising to your cheeks. 

“You’re my bestfriend, so yeah, it kind of IS my business!” He shouted and it shocked you at first. 

“Oh fuck right off Ashton!” You yelled back and pushed past him, running down the stairs.

“Don’t you dare just walk away like this! We weren’t finished-” You heard Ashton shout behind you as you swung your jacket on. The other boys sat on the floor of the living room, right in the middle of it all. The explosion. Where you finally lost it. 

Ashton’s hand grasped your wrist and pulled you backwards towards him, you couldn’t retract your wrist faster out of his grip. 

“We’re finished.” 

“No, I wanna know if something is going on with you and-”

“No Ashton, I mean we’re finished. Our friendship. It’s fucking finished. I can’t do it anymore! I can’t sit here and listen to you babble on about some hot girl that you’re going to be madly inlove with while being completely oblivious to the fact that I’m madly inlove with you! I can’t fucking do it anymore! So yeah, we are finished.” You shouted, tears stinging in your eyes. You watched his mouth open, like he was going to say something back, shout something back, but he stood there and didn’t say a word. “What? Now you’re fucking quiet? You always have so much to say! So say something! Ashton say something!” You screamed, you could feel your heart practically pulsing out of your chest when you pushed him. He barely even budged, you pushed him again, and again. Tears flowing now, completely, droplets hitting the carpet. Your knees gave out suddenly, and he let you fall, he didn’t even try to catch you as you groveled at his feet. You felt pathetic. You just wanted him to say something. Anything. 

1 weeks later

You’d barely moved from your bed. The memories of Calum dragging your tear soaked body out the front door as Ashton stood there with a blank expression plastered on his face. An expression you’d never seen on him before. Luke had visited you far too many times, he was worried, not just about you, but about Ashton. Because apparently, since that night, Ashton hadn’t smiled, he had barely said a word, he came out of his room once and a while for food, then returned back upstairs without a sound. You regretted it, you ruined everything. 

1 month later

You laughed and threw a grape into Michael’s mouth as the two of you sat in the hallway of your apartment. You were finally able to smile and mean it. You hadn’t spoken to Ashton since that night. You had only seen him through the window of the house while picking Calum up on occasion. His hair looked much shaggier, his eyes somehow a deeper and darker hazel. Michael had been particularly there for you recently, after Luke got a girlfriend, Michael spent most nights seeking refuge in your apartment. It was nice that even after everything with Ashton that the boys still considered you a close friend. Though, they were still worried about Ashton. Now more than they were worried about you. He spent most days at the studio, or at the beach with his notebook, and most nights in his room, no company, no laughter, nothing. 

6 months later

You didn’t expect to see his name flash on your phone, especially not at 3am, and especially not after 6 months of radio silence. Your thumb hovered over the green button before pressing it. 

“Hello?” Your voice was quiet, you almost couldn’t spit the words out. 

“I didn’t think I would ever hear your voice again.” He said softly and you closed your eyes, you remembered thinking the exact same thing multiple times. “Did I wake you up? I didn’t think I would, my guess was that you were sitting in your bed watching Supernatural. Am I right?” He said and you laughed. Actually laughed. Because damn it, he still knew you better than anyone else did. You shut your laptop and sighed.

“Ashton, it’s 3am. You haven’t spoken to me in 6 months. Why now?” You didn’t really want to know the reason, you were dreading hearing what he really had to say. 

“It was weird, I got that notification on my phone, yanno, the ‘storage almost full’ notification? So I started going through my photos, turns out I had over 3,000. And it turned out almost half of them reminded me of you. Half of them were of places we went, things we did together. About a third of them were actual pictures and videos of you. And it kind of clicked in my head, that I’m not really anyone without you? Like, you’re the only one I ever wanted to text when something exciting happened, or when something bad happened, or when I saw a cute dog on the street, or when I came across some cool street art that only you would appreciate. I thought about it for a long time, how much of a fucking loser I was for not saying anything. But the reason was, I didn’t know what to say at the time, because I had never really thought about the idea of us as anything but bestfriends. Not until you were gone, and I missed your touch. I missed the way you’d absent mindlessly run your fingers through my hair while we were napping or watching a movie. I missed the smell of your hair on my pillow and just, the scent of you on my sheets. And I thought about the girls, the other girls I’d ever been with, and that I’d only ever compare them to you, that they weren’t as funny, or smart, or as effortlessly beautiful as you. I thought about everything Y/N. I thought about you non-stop for 6 months. And I’m finally ready to say something. But I want to say it to your face, so can you buzz me up please. Please. I know I don’t deserve it. I just really need to say something to you right now before I explode just like you did that night.” He finally stopped talking and you let the line go quiet for a solid minute. You wiped your eyes with the sleeve of your pajama shirt and sighed, getting out of bed and walking over to the buzzer, pressing it softly and hearing him let out a sigh of relief. The line went dead and you stood with your hand shaking on the doorknob, waiting for his knock. Three quick knocks in a row, like always. 

knock knock knock

Something to keep in mind about TMZ is that because their TV show is a dialogue between the staffers during their pitch meeting, it allows them some leeway for the way topics are discussed. They can pose all kinds of questions and hypotheses for what they think is going on and because it’s couched in personal opinions and interpretations, they’re unlikely to get in any trouble legally.

For example, one of the staff can say on the show “Justin Bieber is acting like a HUGE douche again” and the show doesn’t get in hot water because it’s just an opinion of a staff member, not a formal statement…. even though they choose to broadcast it on television. I think Harvey has been really clever in the way the program has been set up.

So with that in mind and based on Louis being out and about shopping and at parties ‘post-birth’ and TMZ’s very sudden and very out of character interest in him, I’m thinking we could be looking at this as an televised conversation about the situation <i>(and please keep in mind that this is ALL speculation only)</i>:

1. “He’s sure out clubbing and partying a lot for a New Dad. That’s kind of irresponsible, isn’t it? I mean, his kid is born and first he went shopping and then he goes out to a bar?”

2. “Actually it’s really strange, for the whole 9 months he pretty much hasn’t mentioned the kid at all and we even got some reports that it was a blacklisted topic in their interviews. There was a rumour going around that she was trying to get a huge amount of money out of him, but I was starting to wonder if the kid was even his.”

3. “Okay, he confirmed it on twitter, but the tweet that came from his account was tweeted after 3am when he was out at a party. Don’t you think that’s a little weird? Like why wait a full day after the baby was born and then go out partying and THEN tweet about it? We keep bumping into him on the street, but he won’t talk about it. What is going on with this guy that he won’t talk about the baby in person, but tweets in the middle of the night? Why haven’t his bandmates mentioned it at all?”

4. “I don’t know man, it seems odd. When the whole thing was first announced I was pretty surprised. I didn’t think he seemed the type to pick up the ladies in a bar… if you know what I mean.”

5. “Yeah I know there are a lot of One Direction fans who believe that Larry Stylinson is a thing. There were some pretty hilarious memes going around where they’d photoshopped pictures of Harry so he was pregnant.”

<b>And the following day: </b> “BREAKING NEWS: Paternity tests are in and Louis is NOT the father.” 

I know they’ve got a strict no-outing policy, but I get the feeling that they’ll bend on that slightly if they’ve got the go-ahead from the people involved to throw some pretty strong hints out there to get the public used to the idea. And I honestly can’t help but think they’d like to get those ‘rumours’ circulating again.

Collection of my favorite aus I've come across
  • familiars were supposed to be companions and nothing more, but screw that, i’m in love with my master and he loves me back au.
  • ‘i come to this café pretty much every day after work and by now you know my order by heart and even wave at me when i come in’

  • I came to this party in which I don’t know anyone with my friend and oh shit I lost her, wait you lost your friend too? Let’s look for them together’ au‘
  • …and it turns out our friends are making out with each other, this is akward’  au
  • ‘we both came to this bar to get drunk and forget our problems but wow that’s expensive, wanna share?’ au
  • you work at this wealthy country club and i’m a regular who happens to think you’re very cute and i sorta wanna make my parents mad by flirting with you but i won’t tell you that
  • we hate each other but our parents are friends and set us up on a date and we’re messing with them so they’ll lay off tho you’re taking this fake dating to extremes and i quite like it but shut up i hate you why is your hand on my knee when they’re not around we’re just pretending ??

  • you’re my siblings bf / gf or best friends sibling and the first person you turn to is me and we stay up talking on the phone until 3am every night until we’re closer than they know and i don’t think this is okay
  • we kind of got past the point of ‘taking this game of gay chicken too seriously’ when you took your pants off but I really do not mind at all. 
  • I always see you doing weird shit at ridiculous hours of the night and it makes me feel better because I do weird shit in the middle of the night too AU
  • You’re a famous viner and I constantly witness you doing the weirdest things AU
  • We’re both single parents and our kids are best friends with each other AU
  • you’re meeting your friends in my coffee shop and you just walked in 15 minutes late with Starbucks what the fuck bro
  • you slipped on a patch of ice and i happened to be walking behind you and you fell into my arms wow you’re really attractive au

Also Things have definitely Happened and we’re just not being shown them yet. There’s whatever happened in Ben’s room when Chelsea left the camera there to go dance with Paige and Jaquie. There’s the thing Chelsea “had to capture”. There’s the reason John couldn’t sleep in Peter’s(?) room. Happenings are coming, mark my words.

(And for the record, I think the awkwardness between Rosa and Ben was just we’re-have-a-conversation-without-biting-each-others-heads-off-this-is-new weirdness - like, it’s 3am and they’re both tired and drunk/tipsy and don’t really have much to say to each other when they’re not trying to roast each other, so of course there’s going to be awkwardness and long pauses.)