weird things i think of at 3am

A odd thing has been happening to me for the past few nights. I think i’ve developed a habit of waking up at 3am and think of you. How weird, it’s something that’s occurring to me ever since you became just a memory of a time of happiness in my life. The first time it happened, I first dreamed of your face. The way the corners of your eyes would wrinkle up and a shadow of a dimple would appear on each side of your wide smile as you looked down into my eyes. The second time it happened, I dreamed of your touch, I felt how you would wrap your hands around me and hugged me, even though I claimed that I hated it. Every night, dreaming first, then thinking of what ifs. Yesterday, I dreamed of you telling me that it was over, leaving me alone once again. Although, in this dream, I couldn’t recall exactly how your voice sounded like. And I woke up and sat up thinking of your laugh, one of the few things that I still haven’t forgotten about you.
—  1:04

It’s weird how at a time in your life you were so close to someone. When you’re with them you wish it won’t ever end and you’re sure that it won’t. You never think that the last time is the last time, it comes unexpectedly and that’s what’s so weird about it you can’t explain how all those emotions all those times you were sure about it just ended. like remember it wasn’t even a few months ago we used to do the craziest things together I mean you can’t forget about the deep conversations we had like around 3am we just said everything on our mind, but it sucks because you did forget everything and today I don’t even know how to say hey. This isn’t supposed to happen but it did and there’s nothing I can do about it. I guess everything does happen for a reason, I wanna know how you feel about this whole situation, it’s like I want to forget everything between us but I’m also waiting on the day you talk to me again.. I don’t hate you and I never will I just act like I do because it seems much easier than missing what we had.

sorrydearie  asked:

For your latest askbox meme: Liz & Alan; "I know that wandering through the woods at 3am is a weird thing to do, but my friend called me and - wait, why are YOU here?"

“I think I could better explain if you got that light out of my eyes, Agent.” Alan frowned, eyes screwed up against her flashlight, though before they’d recognized each other, he’d been staring at her like a mute, frightened animal caught in headlights before a car plastered it to the road.

Liz wanted to keep the beam on him, if only in retribution for the previous times she’d had to deal with his snide nonsense in court, but she shifted her flashlight to his shoulder. “Okay, there you go. Now start talking, counsel.”

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you know, the more i think about luke’s dark day and how it’s weird that lorelai never knew about it for as long as she knew him, the more i wonder if luke purposefully didn’t tell her and purposefully tried to make himself available to her. little things like leaving some coffee and a slice of pie waiting for her at the independence. like leaving a voicemail on her home answering machine just to tell her that he was sorry he didn’t see her at the diner but that he had some errands to run. just little things that didn’t require direct interaction but still let her know that he was around. everyone else in town knew about his dark day, but not lorelai. and he made sure that he reached out to her in some way at least once on those days. just so that she wouldn’t get too worried.

because he knew lorelai, and he knew how much she’d care if she knew the truth. and he wasn’t ready for that. he wasn’t ready to open up to her. he wasn’t ready for her to care.

Also Things have definitely Happened and we’re just not being shown them yet. There’s whatever happened in Ben’s room when Chelsea left the camera there to go dance with Paige and Jaquie. There’s the thing Chelsea “had to capture”. There’s the reason John couldn’t sleep in Peter’s(?) room. Happenings are coming, mark my words.

(And for the record, I think the awkwardness between Rosa and Ben was just we’re-have-a-conversation-without-biting-each-others-heads-off-this-is-new weirdness - like, it’s 3am and they’re both tired and drunk/tipsy and don’t really have much to say to each other when they’re not trying to roast each other, so of course there’s going to be awkwardness and long pauses.)