weird realities

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

—  Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Man I do feel for people who are in more isolated areas and really don’t have any broader access to IRL LGBT resources/groups that you really only find in great volume in major cities….it’s like no small wonder that the fighting online can get so weird and warped from reality bc for so many LGBT kids this website IS their reality. ☹️

Warm Weather

It’s summer, and everything is better.

The air smells sweeter, the sun shines brighter, and, though your worries are still present, there is a comforting sense of ease that accompanies you that wasn’t there before. Summer, you would argue, is contentment in the form of a season.

On one particular summer day, you are relaxing inside your home while laying on your couch. You have a popsicle in hand and the windows are open wide behind you; a cool breeze makes the curtains dance. Distantly, you register the sound of a lawnmower and an ice cream truck’s jingle. You’ve missed this. You haven’t had the chance to relax in awhile. Someone’s grilling - you can smell it - and you muse about the barbecues you might attend. 

The ice cream truck is getting closer and by the sound of it it’s just turned down your street. The song it plays is one you’d normally find annoying, but today it only makes you grin with all that it implies. Summer. Relaxation. Freedom. You might get ice cream later on, but for now you have your popsicle and you don’t really want to get up anyways. 

You should probably call your friends and see if they want to get together. You had all promised to stay in touch over the summer, but you know you’re not that great at reaching out. Through your window behind you, you hear the jingle grow louder. The ice cream truck must be right outside your house now. 

Maybe you’ll even do a bit of cleaning. You sure hadn’t gotten around to “spring cleaning,” but better late than never. It’s-it’s really loud now, isn’t it? Why is the ice cream truck’s music so loud? You can barely hear yourself think. In fact, it sounds like it’s coming from inside your house now. But that’s ridiculous.

The window is still at your back and the song only grows louder. You don’t want to move. Why should you? It’s crazy. There’s no way it’s inside your house-

An icy cold hand wraps itself around your shoulder.

It screams. You scream.

W e  a l l  s c r e a m  f o r  i c e  c r e a m .

anonymous asked:

this might be weird to ask n i hope it makes sense but........ how does each member of bts speak? like when their speaking do they speak intelligently, are they well spoken or like do they use alot of slang or anything? does that make sense i hope it does asdfgh

edit: this should be added sooner but DO NOT REPOST THIS & TRANSLATE INTO ANY LANGUAGE. i’m not a native speaker, this is purely personal observation. don’t consider these as facts.

🍫 namjoon:
• he chooses words very carefully and wisely, wide range of vocabulary
• if you see something that looks like it’s quoted from a poem or a novel, it’s namjoon’s
• uses calm tone when speaking in normal circumstances, but tends to raise and distort his voice when under adrenaline rush (eg. bts gayo track 3, acting mission with yoongi)

🍗 seokjin:
• varying talking speed, he can either talk really slowly or talk so fast that even 0.5x speed can’t help decipher what he’s saying
• focuses on emotions rather than words, so middle-ranged vocabulary?
• come across some lame puns? it’s seokjin’s
• but tbh i love seokjin’s puns even though sometimes it’s really lame that i have to consider turning off the video
• imo, 2nd best english pronunciation in bts, after namjoon
• also i love how seokjin pronounce the ㅅ and ㅂ syllables
• speaks like a middle-aged man…

🐕 yoongi:
• imagine namjoon but with less philosophical elements and more emotional explosion
• not the easiest to understand due to his low and raspy voice
• talks fast, so occasionally his words seem to stuck together and it’s nearly impossible to understand what he’s saying
• usually stretches the ㅔ in 네, like instead of a short 네, he would make it sound like 네에에에에↘
• might not be related but i still find the way yoongi said ‘boy meets what’ in ‘wings’ preview show really cute. it didn’t sound like ‘what’, but rather ‘waaaaaaaat’

🌻 hoseok:
• uses 되게 (really) and 뭔가 (somewhat) A LOT
• likes to insert 네 in mid sentence
• how should i describe his tone? it varies 100% of times
• has a distinctive way of pronouncing ‘fun’
• in short, the opposite polar of yoongi

🍑 taehyung:
• doesn’t finish his sentences, and often stares into the air after stopping midway
• uses adverbs like 약간, 조금, 진짜 separately and repeatedly, has the habit of saying adverbs first, then continue with his sentences and repeat those adverbs again
• splits one straight sentence into short phrases
eg.
- proper sentence: i was gonna meet armys right after i took a shower.
- taehyung: i, now, took a shower and ddak, gonna meet armys, ddak, like this.
• uses ‘like this’ and demonstrates with actions instead of describing the actions with words
• tends to use slangs, but not a lot as far as i can remember?
• not related to talking but taehyung often makes strange noises out of the blue, eg. he imitated a pigeon and made that ‘pokato’ (?) sound when namjoon said ‘pigeon’ and ‘pikachu’ in ‘wings’ preview show
• forgot this but taehyung’s english pronunciation is so on point

🍙 jimin:
• soft and sweet tone, is sweetly sassy
• always talks to armys as if he’s with his friends
• when doing a v app broadcast alone, he talks informally like how friends talk to each other, but when sending messages or some other ‘official’ occasions, jimin talks formally
• personal preference but i find jimin’s accidental satoori very cute… remember how he said 너 왜 이렇게 떠노 and took taehyung’s hands ;-;

🐰 jungkook:
• jungkook is like 30% satoori and 70% seoul dialect to me, so it sounds new when he speaks entirely in seoul dialect (jin’s puma cf)
• raises voice at certain random words like 인형 (‘the show’ interview), 악어(bon voyage ep 7), 인증샷 (chuseok v app), etc. they sound like 인~↗형~↗, 악~↗어~, 인~↗증~↗샷↗
• speaks formally
• says ‘mom!’ habitually
• tbh i don’t really pay attention to how jungkook speaks because most of the times i’m distracted by his bunny smile

in which jack bodyswaps with his older self and realizes his priorities

CW: mention of panic attack, dubious consent (kissing, being in bed with a naked person who doesn’t realize you’re not 100% the person they think you are), anxiety (year 1 Jack)


When Jack went to bed that night, he only spared a moment within his post-panic-attack stupor to feel slightly remorseful for what he’d said to Bittle after the game.

When he awoke, he wasn’t alone.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So I got a question about the sparing and padding post that you recently made. I like to read Assassin's Creed fanfictions that shows Altair (the main character) in his early years, which often includes his training to be an assassin. In most of these fics they focus more on the sword and knife fighting but some does include the hand to hand fighting too (without protection). So realistically what kind of injuries would someone training without any kind of protection should expect?

Death.

I’m only sort of kidding, because I know the kinds of fanfics you’re talking about and like every writer trying to be edgy, they have them spar without protections and with live weapons. There’s a reason why we use practice weapons during training and in sparring matches, where rules are in play. 

Now, the Assassin’s Creed variant of the Hashashin live for that super edgy, very stupid state of supposed badass where one must constantly prove their worth so I totally believe they’d do it. I’d also believe this would lead to an incredibly high turnover with their recruits, which is not sustainable in the real world.

I’m going to point out here that the “Asassins” or Hashashin were real. That’s the etymology for the word. The suicide jumping is also real and, instead of landing on bales of hay, they jumped to their deaths. There are a couple of stories about that piece of the order. The real Assassins were religious fanatics. These stories are not so much a testament to the quality of their training so much as their fanaticism.

For what it’s worth, the Knights Templar were also real and a prominent militant order up until they were excommunicated by the Pope.

The history of both groups is actually far more interesting than the Assassin’s Creed franchise. This is a persistent problem with the games, they invariably include historical figures who are far, far, far more interesting, competent, and badass than we’re presented with. If you encounter a historical personage in an Assassin’s Creed game, remind yourself of this simple fact: the real one is about 200x more awesome. It’s this weird inverse where the reality consistently surpasses the fiction. (Black Flag, I have my eye on you. Honestly, how do you mess up Stede Bonnet, The Gentleman Pirate? And that’s the least of your sins!)

The more serious answer is that unless you’re training with weapons or making an active effort to hit each other, in the real world we don’t train using pads on the regular. The pads are so you can essentially go full out against another person under controlled circumstances and then come back for training tomorrow. If your students are constantly getting injured that hampers their ability to train, then they fall behind and you turn out fewer fighters. Injuries on the training floor should not be a common occurrence.

Barring accidents and mishaps, if you’re simply practicing your techniques on your own or against a wooden dummy then all you should expect afterwards is standard muscle pain (maybe some bruising). The same should be true for practice with human opponents (which is not sparring) and sparring itself.

Anything else is a waste of time, energy, and resources.

Remember, injuries take time to heal and if you’re prepping someone to go out and murder that’s time you don’t have.

In the land of “edgy training”, try to remember that you want evil as opposed to incompetence.

The vast majority of training, like the kinds you listed, are edgy incompetence. They don’t serve a purpose other than sadism and your students don’t learn anything. Unfortunately, cruelty on its own doesn’t teach much (the Spartans were abusive jerks, but their methods worked). The beat up, abuse them, cruelty methodology simply doesn’t work unless you understand the kinds that work and, from a storytelling perspective, it also isn’t interesting.

The kind of “edgy training” you see in most stories is a round of Kinder’s First. People mimicking what Hollywood has taught them or what they’ve seen in fiction elsewhere. The assumption in this line of thinking is that the more brutal the training then the more dangerous the fighter. This isn’t true. More importantly, there are much better ways to sadistically mess with your students’ (and audience’s) heads.

1) Depending on your teaching style, you may murder a student on occasion to motivate the others. However, the control over who lives or dies remains with the instructor because the instructor is god. If a student gets a bright idea to kill another student without your approval, kill them.

2) Live weapons should never be used by students on each other except as a graduation gift. The graduation gift being only one of them will be accepted into the Order, so prove your worth. (In the real world, you’ll probably need them both but in fantasy land… why not?)

3) Use the threat of death to keep your students from getting comfortable, make good on this promise every so often. Bring in an established warrior to kill off your best student in demonstration to the others. (Why? It reminds them at no point are they safe.)

4) Encourage your students to break the rules, punish them severely if caught. (Playing favorites? Punish them more, push them harder.)

5) Limit their resources. Make them fight each other for their food. Survival isn’t a given. It’s earned.

6) In the early days, force them into physical exhaustion. Keep them up late. Wake them early. Limit their sleep to the minimum of hours they need to stay functional. Tired minds are easier to manipulate.

7) Force them into direct conflict with each other. There’s never a solid baseline they can achieve, and they’re always watching over their shoulder. Furthermore they never become loyal to each other. They are only loyal to you. Appeasing their teacher is their only means of survival.

8) Got a problem child who won’t play along? Don’t make an example of them. No, no, make them your new favorite. That’ll turn the others on them, and they’ll solve the problem for you.

9) Change the goalposts regularly, so they never know what to expect.

10) You’ve got someone who doesn’t want to participate? Say okay. When others move to join them, punish those students viciously instead. Do it in front of the class and for everyone to see. (This is called: creating heroes and wrecking them.)

11) Have your students inform on each other.

If this is starting to sound like abuse, well.. you’re right. It is. It also very successful in terms of achieving its goal. The goal is attacking the student’s perceptions, beliefs, and their understanding of the world while reshaping them into who you want them to be.

Real cruelty is clever and inventive. It is also patient. Like a good interrogator, this teacher will leave their students so they’re never sure of exactly what the teacher wants or how to please them. They give them hope, then snatch it away. Someone who excels at social manipulation will use this position of power to maneuver their students feelings and their expectations, indirectly point them at certain targets by stoking negative feeling such as jealousy, paranoia, anger, or fear. In the other hand, those rare moments of kindness offered will ensure gratitude. When a good teacher wants their uncooperative students to band together, they make themselves the target the students need to fight against. The abusive teacher does the opposite. They ensure they are the only boat in the storm and turn their charges on each other. They make sure their students never know what to expect. This includes going hot and cold. They change up to batter expectations, handle some problems themselves and let the students handle others.

An experienced teacher will have seen plenty of student characters, all the versions you can imagine. A good one will break the problem kids to bridle without them ever realizing it happened, and they exit the experience more hardcore than the ones who invested themselves honestly. The purpose of “brutal training” isn’t to churn out a better warrior. It’s to break the individual down so you can reshape their mind and ensure the weapon you’ve created is loyal to you. That level of conditioning is very difficult to break. You’ve re-oriented their entire training into status positions they’ve fought for and earned. This training becomes a foundation for their identity, and you’re not going to get it out of them.

So, before invoking the trope, choose wisely and understand the purpose for what it is. Actively abusive training is done with the express intent to recondition and brainwash. More than that, in competent hands, it’ll snap the “rebellious teenage hero” contingent like twigs.

As a member of a fanatical cult, Altair is a direct example of this sort of training writ large.

-Michi

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“At 14.3 hands this horse is perfect for a small child or 4’ tall elf”
Me, a human adult, with a 14.0 hand horse: 👌