weird ohs

My contribution to the humans are space orcs, it’s probably been seen before but oh well.

So, You guys know about pursuit/persistence hunting right? Where we just follow the prey without stopping until it slows down or drops dead from fear and exhaustion? 

What if when aliens first discover earth, the thoughts of these bipedal predatory omnivores are bad enough but we seem pretty obsessed with farming our food so maybe we aren’t much of a threat.

Once humans are zipping about in space, that’s when they realise that these harmless bipedal omnivorous farmers are actually hunters who just never give up.

If someone hurts their crew, they just follow it for days before killing it. These soft fleshy things are terrifying. These soft fleshy things may not be the strongest or fastest but we are some of the hardest damn things to kill because we just won’t die and if we survive we won’t stop until we get you

We farm things because we can and because it’s easy. Not because we have to in order to survive.

We farm things because we’re too busy fighting each other to hunt for everything.

We stake out areas, we mimic its noises, we stalk it, we put ourselves in danger to kill a food source for fun. 

I only wanted a new avatar but she’s cute and this happened. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

commission info | redbubble shop

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My favorite scene from “With Good Intentions” by @anirrahn PLEASE go read and give many kudos and comments on it! :))

(Sorry if its hard to see some of the panels, there is NO way I’d post each one individually lol)

new show idea: anthony bourdain and gordon ramsay travel the united states visiting hole-in-the-wall dives with bomb-ass food. bourdain picks out the restaurants and spends the first however-long of the episode talking up how fucking amazing this place is. when they get there it is always in a strip mall, or a shack in the woods, or a trailer under an overpass. ramsay is constantly scared and confused. bourdain is usually also scared and confused but pretends he is actually cool with whatever, in keeping with every other show he has ever done.

shots from every episode:

  • bourdain completely terrified by ramsay’s driving
  • bonus points if ramsay refuses to just drive a normal car like a normal fucking person
  • the look of horror and resignation on ramsay’s face when he sees where they’re going to be eating
  • ramsay taking in every possible health code violation
  • bourdain’s poorly-contained sadistic glee at the look on ramsay’s face
  • at least one scene that is more censor beeps than audible dialogue
  • ramsay’s vindication when bourdain ends up trapped in the bathroom shitting his guts out
  • bourdain’s complete lack of remorse and insistence that it was completely worth it
“So what is your role?”

“Oh uh. I’m trained to be a biologist, but am currently a poison merchant.”
“Ah. You humans do not manufacture any biologically, so that makes sense. Is it for defence?”
“Uhm. Not really.”
“For… pest control?”
“Haha, nah. More for <<excrement and amusement>>”
“I think there was a translator issue there. What was that?”
I take it your species doesn’t do the recreational ethanol thing, eh?”
“What?!”
Look bys, its a big thing here. Fancy meals are expected to have a poison accompaniment. We brew poisons to try winning world poison competitions. We mix poisons to try and make them taste as much as fruit as possible, or as strong as possible. There’s Expensive Poisons that have smoked ingredients to taste both toxic AND burning. A bit of an acquired taste, that one.”
“….humans are weird.”