weird future

7

Higher quality calendar scans from

Soukatsu

on twitter! The event featured in the calendar image is actually listed.  I’ve also listed the illustrator of each image. 

  • Cover: Barcelona Gala (Itou Noriko) 
  • Image #1- World Team Trophy (Itou Noriko) 
  • Image #2- Onsen on Ice Hasetsu Exhibition (Tadashi Hiramatsu) 
  • Image #4- Training Camp (Itou Noriko) 
  • Image #3- Start of the Grand Prix Series  (Tadashi Hiramatsu)
  • Image #5- Yuuri & Victor at the GPF in Nagoya  (Itou Noriko)
  • Image #6-  Worlds Gala Finale (Kubo Mitsurou) 

anonymous asked:

Aliens reacting to our mess of alien horror films please?

Jostedalsbreen had been on the primarily human vessel for almost thirty of their rotations now, and was confident enough to say xe knew a lot about humans and their cultures by now.

Xe even knew of the concept of popcorn, which apparently was going to be relevant for the end-of-roation bonding they referred to as ‘moovee naigt’ apparently they would view a classic of some sort. It sounded like an art form similar to theatre - which Jostedalsbreen had read about.

When xe arrived at the designated room xe had no idea what horrors awaited xem. At first it seemed pleasurable enough, but it didn’t take long before xe was as good as frozen to xir seat, silently bemoaning the evolutionary trait that rendered xem unable to move. 

Fortunately, one of the humans - Communications Officer Moreau - seemed to take notice not too long after, and end the horrific ordeal on the screen. Jostedalsbreen needed some time to recover before xe was able to communicate in a way the humans would understand, but once xe was ready, xe knew what xe had to ask.

“W- what was that?”

“The movie?” Moreau asked before they seemed to realise the problem. “It’s fictitious, don’t worry. Purely for entertainment value.”

Clearly the humans didn’t realise how unsettling that statement was. “You find footage of your own species being ripped to shreds funny?” Xe asked in disbelief, almost scared of what the answer would be. Humans did have a reputation after all, but from what xe had seen, it seemed to be largely undeserved. Even if they seemed to have no idea what self-preservation meant, and came from a truly terrifying world.

“No, no, of course not. It’s scary,” they answered, causing a wave of relief to wash over Jostedalsbreen. Until they continued, that is. “That’s what we like about it.”

The shock xe experienced must have shown, because Moreau didn’t stop there. “I’m not really sure why or how it works, but getting scared is funny sometimes. Like, when someone sneaks up behind you and scare you, and for some reason you end up laughing because the person who snuck up on you scared you? That ever happen to you?”

It took longer than it should have for Jostedalsbreen to realise that they weren’t joking, nor was the question rhetorical. “No. How would someone attacking you be entertaining?”

“I don’t know, it just is. And they’re not actually attacking, they’re just… you know. Giving you a spook.”

Pretending to understand what they meant, xe moved xir head in what humans considered a sign of agreement, realising xe had been a fool to think xe could ever understand humans.

Deancas Graphics Challenge | punkascas
↳ Prompt: Round Ten – Endverse

Let us be damned
Let us be weird
Let us love the things
Which most do not

What’s in a meme?

okay, so more on the humans are weird tag, I’m thinking of doing one of my own every day what do you think? anyway todays is, yep you guessed it: memes.
not necessarily just memes though, just jokes in general. memes were just my starting thought, but hey, let’s go from what seems like the logical start.
How weird are human jokes? Like, we have some which just don’t make sense, like i don’t know if anyone else has seen that “No, two goat is too much” post [that probably doesn’t make sense to anyone else but i know what joke I’m talking about] but even if you don’t know that post i’m sure you’ve seen them around, those posts that make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, but you laugh ridiculously hard at.

another type of jokes: puns. why do we find them funny??? don’t get me wrong, i love them, but why? I’ve been thinking about it for a solid two minutes and i can’t even come up with an accurate definition of puns. in times like this i often turn to google:
pun: a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings
like honestly, we just went “Hey, these two words sound similar but mean two completely different things, that’s hillarious!”k knock

Some of our jokes don’t even have answers! like what’s that about?
And what about the jokes that aren’t even jokes, like why did the chicken cross the road? imagine how confused they’d be
and what about knock knock jokes? i’d probably go something like this:
Human: hey Jeff, knock knock

Alien: Why are you knocking, isn’t knocking something done, not something verbally spoken, have i misunderstood the concept of knocking?
Human: No. no, no, not at all, it’s a joke
Alien: a… joke?

Human: yeah, I say knock knock, and then you say who’s there. after that I’ll answer and you repeat what i said but with who on the end, and then i answer that. do you get it.

Alien, I believe i understand human!Jack, you will knock i will ask who is there, you shall say your name and i shall ask you to clarify. is a joke a training exercise of some kind? a way to make sure we answer in an apropriate way?

Human: no, not really, like I won’t reply with my name, i’ll reply with something else
Alien: Ah! so we are always open to new names and outcomes, genius!

Human: Erm, no not exactly, let’s let’s just try it
Alien: Excelent, I am excited!

Human: knock knock:

Alien: Who is there?

Human: Isabelle

Alien: Isabelle who?

Human: Is the bell broken? i had to knock!

Alien: What a wonderful name, do please come in Isabelle broken i had to knock.

Human:…

Alien: What a wonderful exercise, we should do these “jokes” more often! [walks away]
Human: …

yeah, you see how it might get confusing.

alright, now it’s time to get to what I’m sure is the reason you’re here: memes.
memes make no sense, and you might think that would go under non-sensical jokes, but what more got me thinking, was how memes die. like, after a wile, a meme just dies out, everyone moves on and people don’t really think of them as funny anymore, what’s with that? like maybe they’ll think jokes are a seasonal thing just imagine:
Alien: Ah, yes i saw one of those “Forcefully removed” jokes the other day, and i brought it here to show you
Human: Oh, those aren’t funny anymore.
Alien: Oh, is this one not up to par?

Human: no, not that, just all of them

Alien: but it was before?

Human: Yeah, those were the shit a few months ago

Alien: Then why stop? is it seasonal? do jokes have a cycle? Is it because it’ aimed at different age groups?
Human: no, none of that, it just is.

Alien: …

anyway, not very well explained, but you get my point.

now Imagine a crew that’s pretty used to the humans, they can differentiate between jokes and serious, a few of them get the jokes even, they enjoy the jokes. then imagine one of the crew members likes dark humour, maybe they start telling anti jokes

Human: hey, wanna hear a joke?

Alien: Ooh, yes!

Human: A man walks into a bar

Alien: ooh, i love these ones

Human: His alcoholism is ruining his life and his family is falling apart.

Alien: wait what

as i said, human humour is weird. tomorrow, I’ll get into fashion.

my podcast idea

so I haven’t done a me post in forever, I am aware. sorry. I was wondering about what to post and I realised I haven’t told any of you about my idea for this one podcast I have. here goes:

It’s one of the humans are weird things (Because what else were you expecting off of this blog)

But basically theres this human who’s been in this spaceship for like their whole life that they can remember

And they have no idea why they’re there

and they land on this planet

and this alien couple takes them in (I haven’t 100% figured out what I’m doing about language barriers, I think I had it as they have these translators and they manage to detect the language and speak, but I’ll have to check my notes)

anyway, to aliens humans are thought of as mythical creatures, just a story to tell kids. (”If you don’t do your chores the humans will get you”) kinda thing. 

There are the alien equivalent of conspiracy theorists who believe that humans exist

One of the aliens that takes them in might be a human conspiracist

anyway, but the aliens have a different name for humans

so they don’t realise that the human is a human if that makes sense

one of the aliens is a technician 

they fix the ship

anyway one thing leads to another and they go out on this journey to find other people like this tiny person that fell from the sky

(For convenience I am going to refer to the human as human, but the alien myth( which is humans) as deathworlders.

So as they’re looking for humans

and as they journey together they eventually begin to suspect that maybe the human is a deathworlder

like theres just a bunch of little bits

I’m putting in the whole humans are the only one who can throw bit with them tossing a bit of paper into the bin and the aliens just freaking the frick out

and human’s spaceship has a garden

one day alien is going to come in saying they found poison growing in the garden 

“Those are just peppers”

“I know what they are, they’re deadly!”

Maybe they’ll gather more crew members as they go

they might have to give up the ship in favour of a bigger one

just realised I haven’t mentioned that there are robots on the ship with human

that’s a thing


this post is kind of all over the place, sorry about that. hopefully more to come on this, in a more organised post, but rn it’s late and I need sleep but I will stay up another hour writing fanfiction. anyway let me know what you guys think, I want your input. whether you like it or not there will be more

I’m not excited for our first kiss… I’m excited for the day that I get to kiss you when you’re sad and grumpy and it’s been about 5 years or so since the first kiss but you can still feel everything behind it. If not more. Heaps more. You can feel how much I’ve grown to love you over that time… how I’ve chosen you day after day and I still can’t get enough of you and I still want you to be happier than anything in this world.
Or I can’t wait till the day that I get to hold our kid in my arms for the first time and even though it’s gonna be one hell of a hot mess, you’re still going to kiss me like that. Like I am everything and like you’re the proudest person of me in my life. Like I just helped you start something more than us.
Or the day when I walk out of the temple with you. Hand in hand (because you promised me that you’d do that for the rest of forever.) And that first kiss when we walk out will be my last first kiss and because it’s going to mean the world to me. Because that’s the day we’re going to become one.
Or the day when we’re both old and I don’t look nearly as beautiful as I used to and I complain about the cold one more time. When you’ll just look at me and smile, take my hand, and kiss me with such an old love that I’ll know that I knew you before this life. A kiss that’s pretty much saying “you should know after 86 years that winter always comes but I love you more than the first winter we spent together. You are more beautiful now than when we met.”
Man. That’s what I’m excited for.
—  Cameron Stetson
human!captain

Okay, so I see a lot of things with humans on spaceships and the captain beig thoroughly confused by all their needs or lack thereof, but the other day I realised why don’t I see ones where the human is the captain?

Here’s the thing, the right human would make an AMAZING captain, think about it. We’re great at adapting to different peoples needs [because we as a species have so many different needs from person to person] there could be one species that say for example one species can only handle certsin colours, human!cptain would fucking paint the spaceship themselves to make sure it was the right colours. Say another couldn’t handle shouting, human!captain would murder anyone who dared raise their voice to this poor alien. There would be loads more that I can’t think of, but my point is that we have so many different needs that we’d just be super used to it, cant handle certain noises, that’s cool I had an autistic friend once who had that problem, it’s fine. Loud noises physically/mentally hurt you, I totally get that, my dad had ptsd and loud noises used to trigger him, I’ll make sure no one shouts at you. Human!Captain is the best captain these aliens have ever had, because they get them, they can adapt, because even if their particular need isn’t something they’ve had to deal with before they know the importance and that it is not something they choose or can be fixed, because we as a species deal with so many different issues both mental and physical and know that they’re all unique. [we’re not all so great at it at the moment, but I’m hopeful for future us]

Anyway, not just that; going for the whole pack bonding thing: Human!Captain would be fiercely loyal to the entire crew, maybe they’d be in a situation where it seems impossible for everyone to get out alive, human!captain is fully invested in getting everyone out and making sure no lives are lost, their missions are almost always successes and even if the mission fails they always make sure the entire crew gets out alive and the whole ship loves them.

anyway, not very well written but i think you get my point. I’m posting earlier than usual today but i’ll probably be back to posting uber late again tomorrow, see you then :]