weird and weirder

Suppose there was a species that was very peaceful, very good at diplomacy and just generally very nice— but they also happened to look really terrifying to humans. Sort of an opposite to that ‘humans are cute space orcs’ thing— species X is perfectly friendly, but just happens to look like they walked out of a human horror movie.

We don’t blame them for it, it’s not their fault (and we’re slightly too afraid to talk to them about it anyway) we just quietly avoid ships where they are stationed and stay away from areas where they live and, over time, it just becomes accepted that, for whatever reason, you don’t put humans and species X together. Captains turn down human applicants if they’ve got a member of species X on their crew and visa versa. They barely notice that they’re doing it, it’s just how things are done.

Then one day a human crewed ship breaks down in species X space so that one of their ships picks up the distress signal. Being such lovely people, they offer to help and the humans can’t think of a good enough excuse to refuse.

The repairs take about a week and, the whole time, the species X crew members are loving the human ship. It’s so spacious, you barely even see other crew members! (They don’t realise that all the humans are constantly ducking out the way whenever they see them coming.)

The humans, meanwhile, just spend the entire week in Hell. The species X crew members like to take shortcuts through the ventilation shafts, so you can constantly hear them skittering around above your head; the ship is full of this low key but very distinctive smell— rotting meat, the smell of death (apparently they give it off when they’re happy); half the crew have goosebumps, despite the temperature controls working perfectly.

The ones working in the engine room directly alongside the species X crew have it hardest though, they can’t run away— and it’s very hard to relax and do your job when, suddenly, you hear this noise above your head and a hairless, milk white creature with no eyes and a huge mouth filled with razor sharp teeth and long gangling limbs with fingers and toes that look human but like they’ve been stretched, leaps silently with catlike grace from the rafters, lands right next to you, flicks out a forked tongue, holds out a long taloned hand and asks “can I borrow your spanner?”

There they go again

Humans as a whole have each of their own ways to communicate with either short bursts of activity or an unimaginable amount of time sending a message that resonates with another of their ilk.

I am Tznnek of Zenzubir under Sector 737-E and I have been tasked to gather as much data as possible about on Human Gestures in different countries.

I hope this will not prove as disastrous as my colleague sustaining injury from observing leap-beasts in Australia.

Observer’s Log – Earth Cycle #4

The younglings (called “teenagers”, see chapter 10.3 for clarification) perform hand gestures they call “fist bumps” as opposed to a nod or a handshake. Some adolescent males would also participate in leaping at each other (???) in mock-attack and bump their shoulders, chest, and abdomen against each other before baring white dentals in a form of a grin.

Perhaps it is a form of assurance in both of their so-called “masculinity”. Perhaps it is merely a source of fun like most humans said. Regardless, this is a good start. Maybe now I will understand exactly why other life forms fear, idolise and dote on these species.

Things Said/Heard at Rocky Horror Rehearsal

Note: due to the nature of RHPS, a lot of these are somewhat risque, albeit in a sorta cracky way. Nothing here has to lead to direct NSFW, but doing so would be pretty easy. (So’s Janet!)

  • “It’s okay. My lungs are still in my body. I’m good.”
  • “I have plans for your fake dick.”
  • “It doesn’t matter! Nothing matters! Just form a kickline!”
  • “Please yourselves. Not literally. At least, not on stage.”
  • “This is why we keep the feather boas in quarantine.”
  • “You- you’re a lot. I like you.”
  • “This is when you start to get groovy.”
  • “I could kiss you. I could marry you. I could buy you ice cream.”
  • “IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. WHO’S READY TO GET SLUTTY?”
  • “Shit, I thought this was water polo practice.”
  • “Biochemical research gets me so hot.
  • “This is the weirdest aerobics session I’ve ever seen.”
  • “I claim my prize.”
  • “I haven’t been this aroused since Nixon was president.”
  • “Where are the horses? I thought there would be horses.”
  • “I need you to channel your inner vodka aunt. I need you to channel your inner 10,000 vodka aunts.”
  • “Make it weirder. I know it’s weird. But make it weirder.”
  • “You’re, like, a sex god. You’re like a Nobel Prize winner sex god.”
  • “I like to approach all my problems crotch-first.”
  • “Okay, who here knows the Funky Chicken?”
  • “I’m so proud of you. You’re going to make me cry.”
  • “Anyone have a tampon?”
  • “Anyone have a hair band?”
  • “Anyone have any idea what’s going on?”
  • “There will be no actual nudity and no actual murder-cannibalism- at least, if everything goes according to plan.”
  • “Where’s the glitter and why is everyone sober?”
  • “Don’t worry about me. I’m having a good time.”
  • “You fuck with my boas, I will fuck with you.”
  • “It’s all cool. Nothing is on fire. Yet.”
  • “We’re allowed to step on you if you’re in the way.”
  • “OH SHIT MY TITS ARE OUT”
  • “I’m glad that we dream about each other in the worst possible ways.”
  • “It’s awful. I love it.”
  • “You. Me. Selfie. Now.”
  • “Feel this fabric. Now imagine it rubbing against your nipples. Frantically.”
  • “We are not responsible for any weird boners you may get this evening.”
  • “You guys, I just- I just love you so much. I’m so happy. You guys.”

What if there was an alien species who didn’t ‘get’ music? They have no sense of rhythm or anything like that, so from their perspective humans occasionally just randomly change the pitch of their voices while talking about random things. They find it insane that there’s a whole human industry devoted to making instruments and other humans fluctuate the pitch and speed of their voices into a recording device.

Eventually the humans explain music to them and they learn to just put up with it as another 'crazy human thing’.

Now imagine a ship where half the crew is human and half is this other species. There’s a bit of a friendly rivalry between the two species and they often play pranks on each other. So one week the humans hide magnets all around the ship, knowing that this messes with the magnetic crystals in the aliens’ brains that help them find their way around. The humans have great fun watching their crew mates keep bumping into things and the aliens swear revenge.

The next week some music is played over the ship’s intercom. But it’s not just any music. Every song that the aliens have ever heard referred to as “annoying” or “catchy” is played over and over. To the aliens it’s just white noise, to the humans it’s torture.
It gets worse, however. For days after the incident, the aliens dilate their breathing flaps in amusement whenever they hear humans complain about “that stupid song!” They’d heard about the human concept of 'songs getting stuck in heads’ but didn’t think it would work so well…

Innuendos + Bonus Chat

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Request:

A Steve x reader where Tony makes really bad innuendos and Steve and the reader are to innocent to know what they mean


Tony has created a chatroom.

Tony has invited Bruce, Y/N, Steve, Scott, T'Challa, Rhodey, Peter.

Tony: Dinner tonight, all of us? I can make reservations at Rhodey’s favorite restaurant.

Scott: The one that spins?!

Tony: Yes, Scott. The one that spins.

Scott: I love that one! The waiting list is booked,  it would take months before we can eat there!

Tony: Oh, honey. When you’re a billionaire, you don’t need to wait.

T'Challa: And if they make us wait, I will just buy the restaurant. #RicherThanStark

Tony: … Who uses hashtags in a chat?!

T'Challa: #ObviouslyNotYou

Peter: I would love to come but… I have to study for a test tomorrow.

Tony: Aw c'mon kid, we haven’t seen each other in weeks! T'Challa just got back from Wakanda, Scott is finally free, and Steve and Y/N just returned from their 4 week long mission.

Bruce: Yeah, we miss you all!

Tony: Just one night! You’re smart, Peter. You’ll do fine in your test.

Peter: I guess…

Rhodey: #BadDad

T'Challa: #TonySucksAtParenting

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anonymous asked:

I thought you didn't like age difference in pairings but you ship roadrat? They're like twenty years apart.

I don’t like age differences when they’re a fucking kid and an ADULT.

Junkrat is 25, he’s got a job and a graduate’s degree (lmao, year wise I mean).

He’s a grown ass adult.

Plus he’s grown up in the irradiated outback.

I seriously doubt he’s not grown the fuck up, fighting for his survival.

Man.

You really don’t get me very well.

It’s not age differences I have a problem with.

My mom was married to a man 8 years older than her.

That’s not a problem cuz they met when she was 28 and he was like, 36.

The difference doesn’t matter so much when you’re a grown adult.

I just don’t like people acting like 14-18 year olds aren’t kids.

They are, seriously, they can’t and shouldn’t be in relationships with 21+ year olds.

The difference in maturity is astronomical.

And you really won’t get that, as a 14-18 year olds until you’re 21 yourself.

Junkrat, and this is gonna sound weird but, he’s mature.

He’s not only legally an adult but mentally, antics aside, he’s an adult too, he’s a criminal and a pyrotechnic.

Roadhogs 40 something, but it’s not like Junkrat just turned twenty or he’s a college student.

They met in the middle of nowhere.

They’ve both had their share of hardships and troubles.

They’re about mentally on par, if junkrats a little addle-brained, and I’d say Junkrat is old enough to make good decisions (even if he doesn’t do it lmao) and enter in a relationship with an older guy.

Particularly when that older guy doesn’t act like one or have a position of power over him.

In fact he’s technically the employee, lmao.

So TL;dr- anon, Junkrat is twenty frigging five. and he’s not the type to be taken advantage of, nor is he the gullible, innocent, non worldly kid type who has no business being with someone much older.

(100 years later I finally got to your prompt, mac-noa ! I wasn’t explicitly lovey dovey bc I didn’t want to be ooc and it’s only actually from Matt’s POV, but I hope it works for you!!!)

Matt and Dan walk in late, strung together by the hands, still flushed from kissing in the car pre-practice. They go sheepish when they see the unimpressed look on Wymack’s face. Renee smiles brightly at them and Allison gives them a brisk nod, but the monsters are in more disarray than usual. Bits and pieces of their group are missing, and it leaves Matt with the peculiar feeling of looking at a familiar photograph that suddenly has the faces scratched out.

Their ringleader is absent, for starters, couch conspicuously empty beside Kevin — who looks unmoved and stoic and nauseated as usual.

It’s not unusual for Andrew to do things just because it’s inconvenient for others, but it’s a little weird for Neil to skip out as well. It’s a lot weird that he’s late at the same time as Andrew when Exy hangs in the balance. 

Any association between them feels like something Matt has to fix, like he set something bad in motion by meeting Neil later than Andrew did in the fall. They’re probably off having one of their weird, close, angry looking conversations that always end in agreements Matt doesn’t understand.

Wymack waits thirty seconds past Matt and Dan’s arrival, and then he looks at the couch like it’s causing him pain, and starts delegating tasks for the day. He only asks once where the missing links are and there’s a lot of shrugging and staring straight ahead before he gives up.

They’re less rowdy than usual, and Matt thinks they’re all individually trying to solve Neil and Andrew’s absence in their heads. (As soon as they get up to move to the court, Allison starts whispering numbers for their betting pool until Dan bats her away.)

Matt squeezes Dan’s hand until she looks at him, and they have a brief conversation in smothered smiles.

They split up to change, and Matt straps into his gear feeling vaguely ill at ease. He keeps glancing at the door between straps and tugs of his uniform, and he notices Nicky doing the same thing. He smiles awkwardly when Matt catches him, and Matt feels a rare pulse of kinship for him. Both Andrew’s lot and the upperclassmen seem equally confused, so they have something in common for once.

The strange feeling follows Matt all the way to the court and through the first set of drills before Neil finally shows up, looking harried and flushed and all sorts of things Matt doesn’t usually associate with Neil.

He pushes into the court straight past Wymack’s blustering reprimand, and Matt catches the tail end of a flippant apology before Neil’s sprinting to centre court.

Matt stares at him. Neil waits, twisting his racquet in his hand, shoulders tense like he expects someone to toss him into the gameplay by force.

“What?” Neil asks, annoyed.

“You’re late,” Matt says stupidly.

“Twenty minutes late,” Kevin interrupts. “Almost like you’re trying to get worse.”

“He was with me,” Andrew says suddenly, breezing past them towards goal looking impossible to have spent twenty straight minutes with. Neil sort of jolts at the sound of his voice, and Matt eyes him narrowly.

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Okay so I’m having a Star Wars + ‘Space orcs/humans are weird’ kick and I want to add in my own two cents. 

Imagine this; humans habit of pack bonding is also common with species X, the human ability to do things with their limbs that should not be possible for our skeleton types is similar to the ability of species Z. Species Y does cosmetology and color changes as everyday things, and Species W can change their gender all they want to. 

No humans are not the only creatures to do the things that all these space orcs posts are about. But. Humans are the only ones who do all of these things. That’s what is so terrifying and confusing about humans. Not that they do this or that but that they do both. Aliens have never seen a species contradict itself the way humans do, to live on two extremes in such a way, to have such opposition among their own species.  

So, picture this. You’re a fallout 4 settler, right? Life has been pretty tough for you, but you’ve found this nice enough place, it’s got water, food, defenses, even some electric lights, sweet.

Only some raiders start coming for your stuff. You have a shitty pipe pistol. So you ask the only people you can, the Minutemen.

And they send this… person. They’re dressed weird, even weirder then that Hancock dude that runs Goodneighbor. They’ve got this odd look in their eyes. They kinda look like they’ve not slept in 4 or 5 days. But they say they’ll sort it, so you go back to your day to day drudgery.

Only, a day or four later, they come back. In the night, still stinking of other people’s blood and their own sweat. And the first thing you know of it is being woken from your sleep to a shadowed figure leaning over you, whispering ‘I took care of those raiders like you wanted’

Incendiary

Royai Week 2017 - Day Seven
adjective - (of a device or attack) designed to cause fires
Flame Alchemy so profoundly connects Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye that I feel that this symbol qualifies as an element of Royai.

Sometime ago I posted a head canon that Roy Mustang is an excellent needleworker and hand embroiders all his ignition gloves. So I decided to try embroidering the Flame Alchemy Array to see how it might turn out.

By way of scale. Embroidery cotton on linen.

Supergirl AU

Cat Grant knows her assistants are cheating, she just doesn’t know how yet.

She even knows the exact date it started almost two years ago, when suddenly her constant stream of incompetent aides began to improve, to last longer. All her life her assistants have been barely adequate, but for some reason the last handful have gotten sharper and sharper. 

It’s been three weeks with this new one and, while his performance within CatCo is lackluster at best, he has yet to make a single mistake with her coffee or food orders. And if there is one thing Cat values more than all else its what she consumes; she spends all day creating media for the consumption of millions so what she herself takes in is of the highest priority.

This week she had a stress headache and she sent him off with a screech to get her some sustenance. Now she had very low expectations for this, so imagine her surprise when he comes back with a perfectly made bacon wrapped hamburger (her headache guilty pleasure) and a medium latte with just a dash of cinnamon. 

There is no way on Earth that this Witt fellow should know about that. Her guilty pleasures are closely guarded secrets, and Cat Grant has never explicitly told anyone about her infatuation with bacon and cinnamon (both separate and together). And yet when she needed it the most, he just happens to get it exactly right. This assistant hasn’t even made it a month yet; there’s no way he knows this is a weakness of hers.

Which means there’s a snitch somewhere feeding answers to her assistants.

Keep reading

Platonically.

Pairing: Barry Allen x reader

Warnings: Cursing, inappropriate themes

Prompt: “I platonically want to have sex with you—no big deal.”
________________

“Hey, could you run these up to Barry for me?” Joe, your partner of 5 months asked. You were a transferred detective from Keystone who came to Central City looking for adventure. Boy, did you get one. After accidentally walking in on Barry using his powers you found out he was not only super attractive but also a superhero. You may have a crush on him.

“Yeah, sure.” You take the files and run up the stairs to his lab. You knock on the door frame which draws his attention to you. When he sees you his face lights up as you start to saunter over to him. You hand him the file and he thanks you. You sit on his desk with your feet swinging down. “How’d your date with that one chick go?”

“Fine, I guess.” You squint your eyes skeptically.

“Okay so you called a date fine, then added I guess, indicating it was not fine.” He sighs.

“I just— I mean not to be conceited, I just feel like all she wanted me for was my looks.”

“Ooh. What’d she say to indicate this?”

“Just— she um, she kept on making references to, uh, doing the deed?” You started laughing. You couldn’t help it. Barry Allen was the only man to ever pass up a purely platonic sexual relationship. “What’s so funny?”

“She wanted to bang you dude, you gave that up because she liked the way you looked?”

“Well— when you put it like that.” He huffed and slumped in his chair. “I just wanted something more with her than just… Sex. But clearly that’s all she wanted.”

“You know, you are the only man I have met to pass up sex. I mean there have to be hundreds of girls who want to fuck you cuz your hot and you pass it up because you want a relationship. I just find that hard to believe.” You shrug your shoulders and hop off the desk, fully prepared to go back to work.

“(Y/n).” You turn around as acknowledgment. “Did you just call me hot?” He’s smirking as he says it.

“Mhm. Hell, I’d bang you.” He looked surprised.

“W-what?”

“I platonically want to have sex with you—no big deal.” Then you turned and walked out leaving him confused on what your friendship really was.

***

Five days later, you haven’t talked to Barry. You and Joe got swamped with CCPD work, and Barry with Flash work. Things started to slow down so Joe invited you to dinner with Iris and Barry to thank you for the hard work. Of course you said yes.

You weren’t really worried about seeing Barry after your confession. He could ignore it completely, or he could pick up the subtle-not so subtle- offer.

You walked up the sidewalk to Joe and Barry’s house and rang the doorbell. When the door opened you were greeted by the West daughter, who had seen you less than Barry had.

When you walked in you noticed Barry on the couch chewing nervously on his lip.

“Hey, Iris.” You whispered to the brunette. “What’s up with Sonic?”

“He’s been super nervous ever since this morning. I dunno why though. He won’t budge when I ask.” She shrugs her shoulders and walks to the kitchen to help her dad. You decide to follow.

***

Later, after Barry sets up the table you all sit down and start eating. You, Iris, and Joe make polite conversation, while Barry stays quite and picks at his food.

“Hey Barr. What’s up with you? Why are you so quiet?” Iris asks.

“Huh? N-nothing’s up, I mean it’s not like anything happened— pfft what happened? Nothing.” He’s looking around frantically while talking and then when done he stuffs his face. Iris huffs with annoyance and Joe is on the break of laughing.

“Barry. Why are you acting weird?” Joe asks smiling and chuckling.

“What–I always act weird.”

“Weirder than usual.” You say trying to help. He looks at you and opens his mouth and closes it quickly then goes back to eating his food fast so he didn’t have to talk. “Okay, weirdo. So, Iris, how’s work?”

***

Later on in the dinner, you suddenly feel a hand on your inner thigh. You look at the source of the hand, whom was Barry, quietly eating his food. Acting like he’s not touching dangerously close to your lady parts. You put your hand over his and start to move it a little bit closer but stop when it’s just before your hip. You see him smirk out of the corner of your eye.

***

“Hey Joe, where’s your restroom?” You ask Joe close to the end of the night.

“Upstairs, second door to the right.” You mumble a thank you and stand to go to the restroom.

Once out of the bathroom, you see Barry resting against the opposite wall, resting. You smile then smirk.

“I think you and I both know, that I know the reason you’re acting weird.” He chuckles lightly then pushes himself off the wall, slowly walking over to you looking at you like you’re his prey.

“Oh really? Maybe because you confessed you thought I was hot. Maybe because you said you want to have sex with me. Maybe because ever since I’ve been having dreams about you and me… together. Maybe because all I can think about is you.” He’s now so close to you he’s trapped you between him and the wall. He tilts his head to hover over your lips and then grabs your hips and pulls you close. You put your hands on his arms and close your eyes, waiting. When still nothing happens you nudge his nose with yours. “Or… Maybe it’s something entirely different.” He walks away, leaving you breathless.

***

Later you take all the dishes into the kitchen alone. You start to wash when you hear footsteps.

“You wash, I dry?” Barry asks you innocently.

“No. I’m mad at you.” He smirks smugly and dries the dishes you hand him.

“And whys that?”

“You know exactly why.” He puts down the dishes then looks at you. You’ve already dropped everything and you’re looking at him.

“Maybe because—”

“Don’t start.” You grab a fistful of his shirt and forcefully kiss him. He returns with exactly the same force. You only break away when you hear a loud crash In the doorway.

“WHY ARE ALL MY CHILDREN TRYING TO GET WITH MY PARTNERS?! FIRST WITH IRIS AND EDDIE, THEN YOU AND PATTY, NOW YOU AND (Y/N)! STOP.”

anonymous asked:

Could you write something about Lena discovering the existence of the alien bar, so she talk about it to Kara like "Hey, it might be a good subject for an article or something" and she sees that Kara is nervous so she propose to go with her if she wants and Kara have a hard time finding an excuse to refuse so she just... kind of end up with Lena there and everyone recognize Kara and Lena is like "Oh." and explanations ensue because why did the alien device didn't work and all ???

“kara.”

she focuses on her page, doodling mindlessly in the corner of it.

“kara.”

“i’m ignoring you.”

“ignoring me?” lena sounds amused, of all things, and kara scowls down at her page. without looking up, she flicks a paperclip lena’s way and she can’t help but grin when she yelps.

“headshot?”

“centre mass, actually, which you would know if you would look at me.” her tone turns inviting, hopeful. the nicest possible version of wheedling. kara stares down at her paper and wills it not to burst into flame. “kara,”

“lena,” she mimics.

“it was an accident,” lena tells kara, which kara already knew of course, but having a drink spilled down the front of her shirt - and then being photographed by the paparazzi that always slinks around lena - means she’s embarrassed but also incredibly aware of how easily her disguise might be found out. white shirt, meet liquid; kara danvers, supergirl, meet the entire world knowing her identity. that they don’t is another source of concern, and confusion. because sure the drink had been dark but also lena had whisked a coat around her instantly and they’d made it back to her place where she has several outfits.

in lena’s wardrobe.

which she does not remember leaving there - no, well, she does remember it except now that she sees she has left her lucky belt, her second favourite boots, and her most comfortable sweat shirt there… it means something and she’s not entirely comfortable with that.

the idea of dating lena? no problem. the idea of dating a luthor? minor problems, named alex and clark. the idea of dating lena luthor, her best friend of some six months, who still doesn’t know that she’s supergirl? DING DING DING, huge problem.

there’s a soft touch to her hand and lena’s voice, jerking her out of her thoughts with a gentle, “kara?”

“wuh- huh?” she looks from where lena had been sitting to where she is now, standing next to her. “i zoned out, sorry.”

“no, no, it’s alright.” lena takes the seat next to her. “is everything okay at work? or,” lena waves a hand in a small motion that encompasses everything else.

“yeah, yeah, it’s all fine.” kara gives lena her brightest smile and lena nods but doesn’t look away. “i’m sorry, i’m being a bad friend.”

lena shakes her head, lays her fingers on kara’s hand again. she does it so hesitantly, always, and kara likes the way her smile eases when she turns her hand and holds lena’s.

“you’re not a bad friend. just distracted. which is why i thought we could go out tonight. there’s this bar,”

“i really am not interested in a repeat of last time lena,” kara whines.

“which is why we will get my driver to ditch the followers. it’s a hole in the wall, please,” lena asks - begs is more like it, and kara can’t look away from her pouting lip, her wide dark eyes. “you can write, i can drink, it’ll be a regular girls night out. please!”

“ugh. fine! but,” she searches for some kind of argument. “you’re paying!”

“deal.” lena squeezes her hand and kara ducks her head, grins, at the little spark the gesture shocks.

//

“uh, lena,” kara looks properly at the building they’ve pulled up outside and she hesitates. “i don’t think we should go in there. you know, it’s, um,”

“an alien bar, i know.”

kara nods slowly. she had guessed that. she just isn’t sure how much lena had planned this out.

“okay listen when i say this and i don’t mean it in a bad way,” kara tries to find a not bad way to say it but she’s coming up empty so…straight to the point then. “you’re a luthor. they’re aliens in there. i just think, i know how much you’re doing for your image and i just don’t want you in danger or, i also don’t want them to…get scared,” kara finishes softly. lena presses her lips together flat, nods. “i know you, lena. i know how good you are, and that you would never hurt these people, but they don’t.”

“isn’t that what your articles have been for? everything i’ve been doing? i have to test it out sometime.”

“it doesn’t mean you can walk into their bar, lena!” kara snaps. she shakes her head, tries to soften herself, her words, her shoulders, her hands. “this is a place where they can be themselves, without having to worry about that stuff. you have all the bars in the city, lena, they only have this one.” kara widens her eyes pleadingly, and lena nods slowly.

“i- you’re right. of course. i hadn’t thought of that.” lena purses her lips. “you know an awful lot about this place.”

kara grins nervously. she shrugs, happy to play it off on research, only the door swings open on its rusted hinges, music pouring out alongside obviously alien shouting, and all kara knows lena can’t be seen here. she picks her up, moves her into the shadows of the alley.

“hey kara, you coming in?” m'gann isn’t hiding her green tonight. or wasn’t. she looks to the woman in kara’s arms and her skin ripples back to her human form. “you two coming in?”

“not tonight,” kara says quietly. lena doesn’t say anything - she grips tight to kara’s arms, shaking slightly. “we’re gonna head out, actually.”

“call you an uber?”

“that’d be great,” kara nods.

“down the road, you know the pickup spot.” m'gann tilts her head toward lena, shakes her head very very slightly.

kara nods. “have a good night.”

“you too.” after a moment, m'gann adds, “lena,” and she disappears back into the bar.

the noise muffles with the door closed and kara eases away from lena. she urges her gently down the alley, and together they walk side by side down the road to the spot the Uber always arrives.

“i gather you’ve been there before,” lena says finally.

“um. yes.”

lena nods.

the uber pulls up after ten minutes of painfully empty silence. it takes another twelve minutes to get to lena’s apartment building, six to get into the building and up the stupidly fast lift to the sixteenth floor.

“you can come in,” lena tells her, and kara follows her. watches almost desperately as lena toes off her heels, the way she sighs and rolls onto the balls of her feet when she shrugs off her coat. “coffee?” she offers.

“um. sure.”

kara hasn’t felt this uncomfortable around lena since…never. not in this way. not in the horrible, teetering, this-is-the-end kind of way.

“kara,”

“i’m sorry,” she blurts out. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you, and i’m sorry i broke your alien device, and i’m sorry about how weird tonight was and again, really sorry about not telling you but, but i had reasons, really good ones, and,”

“kara,” lena sighs, and she sets her stupidly expensive coffee pot down on the counter and steps over to her. lays her hands on either side of kara’s face, tugs so she’s looking right at her. “stop.”

kara stops. she stays very still, barely breathing, certainly not blinking.

“you’re an alien.” lena closes her eyes. she doesn’t pull away - if anything, she grips on a little tighter. she’s soft again when she drags her fingers down kara’s cheeks and away. “i understand why you didn’t tell me,”

“i really doubt that.” kara walks with her into the kitchen, pulls open the fridge. she takes out lena’s favourite cheese and, of all things, carrot sticks. sets them on a little plate. she pulls herself up onto the counter and waits as lena makes her coffee. it’s fine, they’ve done this before, this is how it’s supposed to go.

except, she’s never made late night snacks as an alien before. she’s never drunk from a cup as an alien, never eaten her food, never touched her things, never been in lena’s home as an alien before.

“it makes a lot more sense how appalled you were about that device,” lena muses. kara just nods. lena twists a little to face her, almost impeccably calm aside from slight, polite curiosity. “how did you break the alien device?”

kara covers her mouth, not wanting to spit cheese out. she swallows quickly. “zapped it.”

“you release an electric discharge?”

“what?”

“how did you zap it? when you touched it?”

“no, with,” kara stops, horror dawning slowly. lena knows she’s an alien, she doesn’t know that she’s supergirl. “rao help me,” she mutters, tilting her head up so she can look up at the stars.

“pardon?”

“okay.” kara hops down off the bench, backs up several steps. “i’m…yeah, i’m just going to do this,” she says, mostly to lena but a little to herself. “alright. okay.”

she pops open the buttons on her shirt quickly, too fast for lena to see, and peels it open slowly. lena stares.

and stares.

kara shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

“well.”

the coffee pot hisses. lena turns, pours herself a mug and then kara. she sets the mug out on the side and retreats into the corner of the kitchen, leans back against the corner where the two benches meet.

kara moves softly like lena could spook, and she stands opposite her. she sips at the coffee, grimaces. lena pushes the sugar over to her, watches with the same look of fascination as she always has as kara spoons sugar into her mug.

“is that an alien thing?”

“i don’t think so.” kara hesitates, but adds one final spoonful. this time it tastes right. mostly of sugar. “um. not to make this weird night weirder but, uh, you’ll have to sign stuff. now that you know.”

lena nods slowly.

“i…i should go,” kara says. she pours her coffee out into the sink, half drunk, and washes it out. sets it on the drying rack. “i didn’t mean for this to happen, not like,” kara shakes her head. there’s plenty of stuff she wants to say, or maybe just a couple very important things, but lena is still just staring - into her coffee or at kara, it changes - so it can wait. “i’m really sorry.”

“the only thing i can think right now is…i know something he never did.” lena laughs a little, a short sound and not happy. she closes her eyes. “i think you should. because, if that’s my first….my only thought?” she shrugs one shoulder. “i don’t think i’m someone you should be around right now.”

“i’m not afraid of you,” kara tells her. it lacks, completely, any defiance. how strange, for that to be a reassurance. lena doesn’t look like she believes her, if the dark little curl to her lips means anything.

“tell them i’ll sign. i have no interest in seeing the inside of a cell. again.”

kara nods. “i’ll see you soon?”

lena sets her mug in the sink, and disappears into her bedroom. it becomes clear she’s not coming out again. kara tips a little food into the fish tank, makes sure the windows are locked, and locks the front door behind her.

honestly i love watching @kickthepj vids. No politics. No drama. No hate. No shouting. Just video games and quirky lil arty things. Maybe a lil nostalgia thing here. Lil bit of montage here. Sweet, jazzy music you’re not supposed to dance to, more like clean ur room or do a lil doodlin. Weird questions with even weirder answers. No real obscure clickbait. Just honest, nerdy, arty Peej (and Wiggles). 

love it.

The Happy Ending Con 2017 - Robert & Michael’s Panel
  • MRJ would play Belle (x)
  • Robert thinks Rumple similarly had a happy ending in the end of S6. He loves Belle but he’s still a loner so probably not. (x)
  • MRJ doesn’t think Neal was trying to convince Emma from saving Hook but to keep her safe from her dangerous journey (x)
  • Robert’s fav scene is when Rumple and Neal meet again on Neverland (x)
    • Fav scene: Robert: S3 when they met again in Neverland, good quality stuff MRJ: when he found out Robert was going to play his dad (x)
  • Michael emotions talking about Bobby (x)
    • Omg Michael  he got emotional and Bobby hugged him everyone clapped (x)
  • Michaels fave is when Neil confronts Rumple in New York one of his favourite scenes ever in his career (x)
  • He said working with Bobby was the highlight of his career (x)
  • MRJ would have loved to play Julia Roberts’s part in Prettywoman. Robert doesn’t regret anything, just move forward. (x)
  • Season 2 when Rumple let bae go through the portal was the hard complicated scenes with the cold and wind machine - Robert (x)
  • Hardest scene for Michael was scene w Henry over shoulder cause Jared farted five times (x)
  • Robert doesn’t think Destiny could come back but loves the idea of his character still “flying” (x)
  • Robert’s fav woman to kiss on the show: all the women in the building  but honestly EMILIE ! (x)
    • Kissing Bex was weird. Kissing Lana was even WEIRDER. So Emilie because they had a real story (x)
  • MRJ thinks if Neal were still alive he would teach his son some life lessons (x)
  • Bobby: the show is unrelentingly sad so he wanted to add a lil bit of humour (x)
    • Robert’s added funny movements to Rumple’s character because this is a sad show in many ways (x)
  • MRJ says that playing Neal was a real challenge for him because he was so different from his character from True Blood (x)
  • Despite the stress from shooting, even for 5 years, Robert would never say no to another movie. (x)
  • Improvised scenes on OUAT that were kept? Robert says not really because producers pay and get what they want. (x)
    • Don’t you improvise on film & it makes it to TV? “abc wants it how it’s written but sometimes with Rumple but not with Gold”-Robert (x)
    • MRJ says that it’s difficult to change the script. Especially when they shoot a useful scene for the future (x)

(x)