weiner joke

10

“You have been told to follow your dreams, but what if it’s a stupid dream? For instance, Stephen Colbert of 25 years ago lived at 2015 North Ridge with two men and three women in what I now know was a brothel. He dreamed of living alone—well, alone with his beard—in a large barren loft apartment, with lots of blonde wood, wearing a kimono, with a futon on the floor and a Samovar of tea constantly bubbling in the background, doing Shakespeare in the street for homeless people. Today, I am a beardless suburban dad who lives in a house, wears no-iron khakis and makes Anthony Weiner jokes for a living, and I love it because, thankfully, dreams can change. If we’d all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses”
-Stephen Tyrone Colbert.

Valentine’s Day Special ;)

Oh ho ho? What is this? Well judging by all the gaudy decor hanging around the bureau and the multitude of glittery cards and chocolate stuff under our door, it must be Valentine’s day! That’s right guys, gals, and nonbinary pals - it’s that special day and Taako has a sizzlin’ special date ;) 

…ha. Psych. 

No fucking way, man, Valentine’s day is dumb as hell. And I’m not just saying that ‘cause my date cancelled on me or some equally lame excuse. I just honestly, genuinely, don’t care. This wizard slash chef has bigger things on his metaphorical plate, thanking you VERY much.  

Also? Company parties are the pits, my guys. Like hell I’m going to that blah fest. 

Nah, boy, instead this seems like a great opportunity to chillax with my boys, throw on my comfy pants, ring of frost some sweet bevs, and kick it with a Boy’s Night In! 

And what do all good good adventure boys need for a perfect Palentines day? 

Hot diggity shit, that’s right! Today’s dish is…

PAN-TASTIC PAN PIZZA! 

Now, just so you know, this one dooooess take a bit of prep work, so be sure you either prepare in advance, or start early! 

Lessgo! 

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You have been told to follow your dreams. But, what if it’s a stupid dream?

For instance, Stephen Colbert of twenty-five years ago lived at 2513 North Ridge with two men and three women in what I now know was a brothel. He dreamed of living alone–well, alone with his beard–in a large, barren loft apartment, lots of blond wood, wearing a kimono, with a futon on the floor and a samovar of tea constantly bubbling in the background, doing Shakespeare in the street for homeless people. Today, I am a beardless suburban dad who lives in a house, wears no-iron khakis, and makes Anthony Weiner jokes for a living. And I love it!

Because, thankfully, dreams can change. If we’d all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

So whatever your dream is now, if you don’t achieve it, you haven’t failed. And you’re not some loser.

But just as importantly–and this is the part I may not get right and you may not listen to–if you DO get your dream, you are not a winner.

After I graduated from here, I moved down to Chicago to do improvisation. Now, there are very few rules to improv, but one of the things I was taught early on is that you are not the most important person in the scene; everybody else is.

And if everybody else is more important than you are, you will naturally pay attention to them, and serve them.

But the good news is, you’re in the scene too. So hopefully, to them you’re the most important person, and they will serve you.

No one is leading. You’re all following the follower, serving the servant.

You cannot “win” improv.

And life is an improvisation.

You have no idea what is going to happen next, and you are mostly just yanking ideas out of your ass as you go along.

And like improv, you cannot “win” your life, even when it might look like you are winning.

For instance, I have my own show, which I love doing, full of very talented people who are eager and ready to serve me. And that is great. But at its best, I am serving them just as hard. And together we serve a common idea–in this case, the character “Stephen Colbert” who, it’s clear, isn’t interested in serving anyone. And a sure sign that things are going well is that no one can remember whose ideas were whose, or who should get credit for what jokes, though naturally I get credit for them all.

But if we should serve others, and together serve some common goal or idea, for any one of you, what is that idea? And who are those people?

In my experience, you will truly serve only what you love, because service is love made visible.

If you love friends, you will serve your friends.

If you love community, you will serve your community.

If you love money, you will serve your money.

And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself, and you will have only yourself.

So no winning.

Instead, try to love others and serve others, and hopefully find those who will love and serve you in return.

—  Stephen Colbert, 2011 Commencement Speech, Northwestern University x