It's not a duck. I don't think it's a duck.

do-over replied to your photo: This was on my windshield today. Hard to interpret…

TJ. Is that a dead duck? Really?

I’m no bird expert, but it didn’t look like a duck to me… it looked like… well… a bird… I would have thought “pigeon” except for the coloring…

I was parked under a tree, and next to a building. As near as I can figure, the bird flew into a window on the building, broke its neck, and dropped onto my car.

Either that or it dive-bombed my car windshield.

It was pretty surreal. I got into the car and was just about to start the engine when I saw it, and wasn’t quite sure what it was. I went around to the passenger side (first picture) and it looked like the neck and head were gone or stuck inside the hood. It was only when I went around to the other side (2nd picture) that I saw that it was intact.

You can see that the wipers were on when the car was turned off. It was raining a little all morning. Not sure if that had anything to do with it or not.

Anyway… yeah… just a little bit odd, dontcha think?


lindstifa replied to your post: Dear 10,000+ people who have reblogged or “liked” that BBC book list. 2 seconds in Google told me it was fake.

This is Scholvin-level ranting. Well done.

I typed it on my iPad. My iPad! While laying on my stomach. Because I was annoyed, but too lazy to get out of bed.

Related: I now have RSI in both wrists.

scholvin replied to your post: Dear 10,000+ people who have reblogged or “liked” that BBC book list. 2 seconds in Google told me it was fake.

Thank you. I thought the exact same thing when I saw Dan Brown.

I hereby declare that “SRSOA” (Scholvin Rant Stamp Of Approval) is now A Thing.™

While anyone can declare something “Scholvinesque” (see lindstifa, above) but only The Scholvin (from the original Latin “der Scholvin” meaning “Of Ranting”) can give the official “SRSOA.”

Aside: I will, for the purposes of this conversation and because it’s Christmas, ignore the implication that somehow Ranting On The Internet should be named for anyone else other than me, although I think I could go into the Archives and make a pretty strong case for myself. After all, as some of you know, I am the “T” behind the expression “T’ed Off.” The original phrase was “Teejed Off” but it was shortened at Ellis Island when we came over to the new land.

redcloud replied to your quote: Had a mammogram last week and got the report back…

TJ, have you done a testicular self-exam lately?

It’s funny you should mention that, because as I was typing that post, I noticed I had a hole in the circa 1990 sweatpants I’m wearing and … well, long story short, YES.

That reminds me, The Wife mentioned a few weeks ago that I need to start thinking about getting my “Just Try To Relax” Dude Exam, to which I responded that I am only 38 and still have two years before I worry about finding that Special Someone.

Several years ago I heard a guy talking about getting ready for his first exam:

"Yeah, just turned 40 this year and so it’s time… I’ve actually made the appointment. Part of me is scared it’ll hurt… and another part of me is even more scared that it won’t…”

That reminds me, I wonder if my insurance company has a list of qualified doctors in my area and their vital statistics: where they went to school, when they graduated, whether they’re accepting new patients, size of their dominant hand… you know, just the basics.

Replies To Replies

ungracefulme replied to your photo: pocketcontents: (via Women’s Sesame Street -…



And if it was so awful, why am I still laughing?

pocketcontents replied to your photo: pocketcontents: (via Women’s Sesame Street -…

I do what I “can.”

Well done.

You and your daughter could both wear these for Halloween and do a dance routine together. Something fun and peppy like the… can-can.

Or, for something a little bit different, you and The Man could wear them and sing a duet about gender roles, equality, and competition.

If I might suggest a song, perhaps… “Anything you can do I can do better”?

I dunno, just some early Monday morning ideas…

Replies to Replies

cutlerish replied to your photo: In case it wasn’t clear why Kate was repenting,…

Yes, I know… this sort of mistake is shocking, but… well, let me combine my reply to you and Keri:

thekeri replied to your photo: In case it wasn’t clear why Kate was repenting,…

I’m going to pretend I didn’t just see this.

I know, I know… it’s an embarrassing moment for Kate, but she’s really nice, smart girl and you’d like her, so try not to hold this against her. It was just the booze talking.

mattdoucette replied to your photo: In case it wasn’t clear why Kate was repenting,…

Erm…So… Actually… the script was written by Leigh Brackett & Lawrence Kasdan. So… The story was Lucas, which is what I assume you meant. So…

Did you just try to Van Hœt me? You did not just try to Van Hœt me, especially about Empire … I’m sure I’m misunderstanding. Let’s move on…

Brackett and Kasdan may have written it, but Lucas was the one who is ultimately responsible for it, especially for the confusion brought on by his revisionist history, and so he’s the one I blame.

I mean, in a world where innocent children are led to believe that Greedo shot first, is anything sacred? Who knows, maybe in the next edit of Empire, Han Solo will be played by Morgan Freeman and Darth Vader will be voiced by Peewee Herman.

So yes, I blame Lucas. And one day he will have to answer for his crimes against humanity, either in this life, or in the next.

In a word?

rartastic replied to your post: Wow



Yesterday, after getting 3-4 hours sleep, I left my wallet at my office when I went to lunch (fortunately I walked down to the restaurant, so it wasn’t far to go back).

After lunch I locked my office door, turned off the light, and slept in my office chair for about 45 minutes before going to get a haircut.

And left my glasses there.

After I picked up The Boy from school, I went home, slept for about 2 hours, took him to Tae Kwon Do, put him to bed at 9, and took an Ambien & a shower.

I’m fairly sure that if my (3) alarm(s) hadn’t gone off, I could have slept through today entirely. But I feel much better.

Sorry this wasn’t funnier. I could mention the puddle of pillowcase-drool I woke up to, but I’m never sure if people find that funny or gross, so I’ll skip it.

Duck Cooter (I swear this is the last post about the dead bird. Probably.)

We seem to have a consensus on the dead bird on my windshield:

eequalsmckenna replied to your post: It’s not a duck. I don’t think it’s a duck.

looks like a mudhen also known as (ya’ll are going to love this) an American coot.

ronbailey replied to your post: It’s not a duck. I don’t think it’s a duck.

It appears to be a Coot: google.com/search?…

tymethiefslongerthoughts replied to your post: It’s not a duck. I don’t think it’s a duck.

It’s an American Coot. (which is a type of duck)

Great, so I had a dead duck cooter on my windshield? I’m never going to get that off.

Anyway, at least now I can imagine what the last moments of its life looked like, from the perspective of my windshield:

via angry old (ahem) coot

Final Question: "Duck Cooter" - terrible porn name, or worst porn name ever?

Microsoft Word Required

annoyatron replied to your link: Reduce visual clutter in Microsoft Word [TUAW.com]

Why did you HAVE to use it? I mean, there’s plenty of free alternatives out there like OpenOffice and LibreOffice. Not that they’re any prettier, but still… At least that way you don’t have to PAY for the crap.

The world of academics (and plenty of publishing companies and others) still require Microsoft Word, usually because they rely on the “Track Changes” feature.

And when you are dealing with a lot of footnotes and some very specific (some might say “nitpicky”) expectations for how things will be formatted, it is just easier to use Word.

Ttttttttrust me, it’s my preference. I would have written the entire thing in MultiMarkdown if I could have.

I also need it for work where I often get documents which have to be exchanged between several different people, and “.doc” is the easiest “least common denominator” format to use for anything beyond plain text.

Actually, when I am expecting the final product to be a “Word file” I create the initial version in Apple’s Pages to be a lot easier to use, especially when dealing with “Styles” and then save it to .doc at the end.

But with my thesis (which I have been writing, submitting and rewriting for over a year now), I have enough other things to worry about without worrying about formatting screwups between Pages/OpenOffice/LibreOffice/etc and Word. (In fact, I’m still concerned about screwups between Mac vs Windows versions of Word, but so far that doesn’t seem to have been a major issue.)

Getting back to the original point, Ron had asked about editors which weren’t bad to look at. My article was meant to help those who have MSWord, especially those who “have to” use MSWord, make it more visually appealing, which turns out to be quite do-able.

OpenOffice and/or LibreOffice are far uglier and worse to use than MSWord. Yes, they’re free, but the $100 you’ll pay for Microsoft office is the price of doing business if you write for a living where that “living” comes from submitting what you have written to other people (unless you’re writing strictly for the web).

I’m not advocating that as a good thing, just a reality. When you’re under deadline and trying to get something finished, being able to get Word into full-screen mode (especially the white-on-blue, which I especially like in full-screen) is a nice option to have.


Invisible Children

rinaedin replied to your photo: No, sure, of course, it totally makes sense for…

those are the kids in uganda :(

from http://www.invisiblechildren.com/

Invisible children is a movement seeking to end the conflict in Uganda and stop the abduction of children for use as child soldiers.

There are times when I temporarily forget that I loathe the world in which we live.

It never takes long to remember.

The depths to which humanity sucks never ceases to amaze me.

I am making a mental list of those who are snickering, and even as I speak I’m preparing appropriate retribution. — Leo

jeeneebee replied to your post: I soooooo wish I was kidding

Jeez, I thought you’d find lady poop. Eww, and I grossed myself out.

fancycwabs replied to your post: I soooooo wish I was kidding

The Monkeyballs (fancycwabs.com/post/16…) are also apparently loaded with bacteria.

steelopus replied to your post: I soooooo wish I was kidding

It wasn’t human. It belonged to one of the active cultures.

vegkat replied to your post: I soooooo wish I was kidding


Yes, Erin… yes, it does…

raiselm replied to your quote: Do you want to come smell my crotch and make sure…

Favorite part?

HA! Um, no… no, it wasn’t my favorite part… maybe if I had been the one trying to “sniff out the turkey” … wow, that it the worst double entendre ever

However, this:

erinmargrethe replied to your quote: Do you want to come smell my crotch and make sure…

I WANT A DOG! …uh, not because of the crotch thing. Oh god, this looks bad, doesn’t it?

Yeah, that was my favorite part…