This weekend I will be hosting an Indo-Trash trailer show. It’s also an opportunity to see Indonesian exploitation movies on the big screen: Lady Terminator, The Devil’s Sword, The Warrior and my favorite: Special Silencers.
Radiant in white lace, satin, and minimal underwear, Ms Boyne
MuddyWater River married Mr. Murtagh FitzGibbons Fraser in a moving ceremony
officiated by Reverend Roberta Burns, at Nitshill Church of Scotland, during a
glorious Weekend Wedding Festival in sunny Glasgow.
Family ol’ pal Saint-Hildegard-of-Bingen of Kentucky, USA
offered a stirring rendition of the Ave Maria during the signing of the
register, which was not usual for a Protestant wedding, but if it was good
enough for the bride’s BFF’s first wedding, it was good enough for the bride.
Ms River-Fraser wore her ol’ mither’s pearl necklace and carried
a bouquet of fresh ivory roses. Her headpiece of pearls and roses accentuated
her flowing chestnut brown locks. Her bridal wardrobe included a jacket made
from the Official Tartan of the Province of Manitoba, Canada.
Mr. Fraser was resplendent in his family heirloom kilt and grey
waistcoat under a black wedding jacket with ivory rose boutonniere. He trimmed
his hair and beard, and bathed for the occasion, paying particular attention to
World-renown couturière, Madame Outlanderedandoverhere of
The House of Mother of Dolls UK, designed and tailored the Frasers’ wedding
King of Men, Laird Jamie Fraser of Lallybroch in
Inverness-shire, Mr. Fraser’s godson, attended his godfather.
Sassenach, Lady SindyClaire Fraser, née Beauchamp, Mr. Fraser’s
goddaugther-in-law, attended Mrs. River-Fraser. The House of Mother of Dolls UK
also created the younger Frasers’ ensembles.
The couple’s beloved wee cheeties Rerun and Belle served as ring
bearer and flower girl, respectively. They were bored out of their minds and
slept through most of the ceremony.
Several wild animals native to Manitoba, Canada completed the
wedding party, adding a je ne sais quoi flavour to the day.
RCMP Sergeant Diane “Ginger of The Mounties” Ferguson commanded
the elite security team. In keeping with the spirit of Canada, no shots were
fired and no one raised their voice.
Mrs. River-Fraser, master lion tamer, was born and raised on the
Canadian Prairie. She was educated on the banks of the river bearing her name,
and later earned a PhD in Classical Bullshit from the University of Manitoba.
Mr. Fraser, warrior and sword dancer, was born and raised near
Beauly in Inverness-shire. He was educated at Beaufort Castle, and later earned
a PhD in Cursin’ & Sword Fightin’ from the University of Edinburgh.
Guests of the Frasers enjoyed a Meet & Greet Brunch and
Shinty Shinny Tournament on the Festival grounds prior to the ceremony.
Later that evening, the party rocked on during the reception,
including a seven-course dinner, a talent show, dancing, and a Manitoba Social Midnight
Supper. A good time was had by all.
Very few guests’ names appeared in the next morning’s headlines.
The Frasers continue to delight in each other’s company during a
honeymoon trip to undisclosed locations.
They maintain homes in Scotland and Canada, and a cool and
groovy summer home is currently under construction somewhere in between.
The Frasers wish to thank all People of Earth who travelled to
Glasgow to celebrate with them, and to help make Sumday, December 32, 2016, a
day that could never be duplicated.
No animals were harmed during the
production of this wedding.
Libra: Sweet Art Education student who seem traumatized by the weirdo studio majors, always smiling, super long hair
Pisces: New Age, Eccentric Sculpture student who goes to music festivals every weekend, makes projects about the Illuminati and NWO, more #woke than you will ever be
Aquarius: Reserved Drawing/Illustration Major who draws hella good anime, never opens their mouth in critique until forced, vegan, fandom tees
Leo: Hipster painting student who thinks they’re the absolute shit, brags about smoking hookah and everything they do is meant to be ironic
Scorpio: Irritated Photography student who hates being in class but is always there, favorite color is black, always looks like they need a nap, opinionated
Aries: Yuppie Visual Communications student who brags about their love of craft beer, blood made of coffee, has really strong opinions about fonts, needs to relax
Virgo: Chill Ceramics student who smokes a lot of weed, thinks they suck but they really slay, succulents and cable knit sweaters
Capricorn: Super skilled Furniture Design student who can find a solution to anything, wears flannels and steel toed boots and it actually looks natural, works 109 hours a week
Cancer: Friendly but reserved Art Therapy student who is quietly reading everyone like a book, internal dialogue is constantly sassy, pastel hair, always on the verge of mental breakdown
Taurus: Edgy Printmaking student who shops at stores no one has heard of, small clique, loves to read, super detail oriented, doesn’t accept criticism well, makes everyone uncomfortable by bickering with professor
Gemini: General Fine Arts Student who floats from clique to clique seamlessly, indecisive, friendly but values alone time, inquisitive, listens to Nirvana and also Disney Soundtracks
Sagittarius: Headstrong Double Major who can’t keep their thoughts straight, skips class a lot, obsessed with Tim Burton movies, smokes cigarettes for aesthetic, talks too much during critique