week-and-a-half-to-grad

I found today that I got accepted into grad school at university of Maryland and was offered a half grad assistantship award of:

  • in state tuition
  • reduced tuition for fall and spring semester ($3,415 reduced each semester)
  • a stipend of $7,700 for the first full academic year
  • health benefits offered to staff and faculty
  • 10 hours a week working a with a professor
To say I am excited is an understatement!!! Like holy fuck I’m so blown away by this amazing offer Unless one of the other schools I applied to offers something equal to or better than this it looks I’m gonna be a terrapin this fall!!

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

The future

So yesterday I saw on Facebook that this girl in my high school class is pregnant, and I don’t know why that hit me hard, but like……. I just realized that I’m almost “all grown up..,” and that scares the hell out of me…. One of my friends is getting married in December. Another friend got a full-time job and is moving to Oregon next week….

I’m here, with a year and a half left in college (undergrad & grad school), and I’m scared to death about my future… not because I don’t think I have a bright future ahead… but because I feel so uncertain about my future.. mainly the location of my future life… I feel pretty certain (knock on wood) that I’ll have a full-time job when I graduate college…. I just don’t know where I’m going to live. I’ll probably stay in my current location for a couple years and then maybe transfer to another location…. 

I just don’t know… All my family is moving back to our home state, and I’ll be alone…. I’m just scared for the future.. I’m scared.. I don’t know where I’ll be 5 years from now, but I just pray God knows where I’ll be…

Being in a long-time monogamously partnered relationship while attending a university where the students are mostly half my age is so weird. When I go to the student health center they ask about my birth control method and if I’m happy with it, and if I need to know how the Pill works. I have been on the pill longer than these students have been alive. And now there’s Safe Sex Week posters all over the place with happy condom cartoons and I think the condoms I got last time I was on antibiotics are expired by now. I just realized my partner and I have been together since before these students hit puberty and now I feel old damn.

CEO!Ashton would walk around his building, ensuring that everyone was working hard, sometimes firing people on the spot if they weren’t paying attention or if they weren’t performing to the Irwin & Co. standards. You were new to the office and since you had only just come from grad school, the money being offered was almost too good to be true. So every time Mr Irwin strolled around your floor, checking in to make sure sales were still high and to give the general manager a stern talking to, you would always work your hardest and make the best calls and so would produce an incredible track record, not once being called to the office. So a few months later, when you voluntarily knocked on Mr Irwin’s door to ask for a half day the following week due to a close relative’s funeral, you were appalled that he didn’t allow you to have the day off. Instead, you were made to work overtime that day while he would be away at a fellow businessman’s memorial service. CEO Ashton would get a shock once there to realise that his status meant nothing to the grieving family who were looking for the deceased’s daughter, unaware that it was the ‘big shot’ who you’d praised and had turned up to the service, who made her wait behind and work on the day of her own father’s funeral.

I hadn’t touched my bullet journal in about a week and a half, so I figured I’d show it some love!

This is all the things I accomplished in 2015. This will serve as a reminder of how capable I am of reaching my goals, even during those times of discouragement.

What were your accomplishments this past year?

Neonate blacktip shark (Carcharhinus limbatus)

This is the first neonate blacktip we caught for our research, and she was also our smallest shark. She measured under 60 centimeters for total length and only weighed about half a kilogram. Her umbilical scar was completely open, indicating that her birth occurred within the last two weeks.

After taking measurements and collecting blood and muscle tissue samples, she was released back into the sound.

So last week I didn’t go to community band because I fell asleep after dinner. I remembered when I woke up. But no one had called, texted, or emailed me to ask why I wasn’t there.
I saw the second chair player at a grad party the other day and he asked where I was. I explained and expressed my confusion as to why I hadn’t been contacted, especially when I had seen the first chair player at the movies the day before and said “see you at band” to him the day of.
Turns out that about half an hour into rehearsal, second chair asked where I was, first chair said I had probably just forgotten, and they both shrugged it off.
Trombones really care, guys.

Let me just tell you about this week. We got the keys to our home on Monday. Painting a whole home is not for the faint of heart. Over two days, we went to Lowe’s four times. Our landlord hired a contractor to refinish the wood floors, and he fell through our living room floor…. so we haven’t been able to get into the house since they are gutting and replacing the whole thing. Everything else is half painted, nothing is moved in, and my new life as a grad student, admissions counselor, and campus representative begins Monday. Tonight I’m going to an event where I will meet all my professors and a lot of the students in the program with me as we celebrate those who have graduated and are moving into the transition of finding and beginning their new jobs as certified counselors. Charles got a job as an ER technician at the same hospital where he’s been working the past few months. He’ll be getting phlebotomy certified soon, and start working night shifts which means he will literally become a vampire–only coming out in the cloak of night to take peoples blood. Except he will be helping people’s lives rather than taking them haha. His med school application is 100% submitted as of a few weeks ago and we’re just waiting to hear whether he’ll get an interview. And lastly, money is dumb. I hate it. I don’t know how I’m going to afford school even after the 50% scholarship. I don’t think I’m even qualified for a private loan not to mention that I have enough debt as it is. The school recommends fund raising, and I just… I don’t know how I feel about that or how to even go about it. I don’t understand why weddings cost so much money. Even with a conscious effort to spend the minimum amount, it is still too much. We want to go to the court house. Not really, but really. The money just literally is not there. God, help us. 

I hope you all are well. Taking this break from the q+a has been so refreshing. I have no update on when I’ll answer questions again. I’m just going to mind my own business for now, and keep letting life hit me like a freight train as I go through the most intense season of my life thus far. I don’t mean that to be dramatic, because I’m not hating it. I’m thankful for the acceleration of life right now because I feel like I’ve been on cruise control in a 30 zone for the past year. So, that’s where I am this week. 

-LB