week of the soapbox

When I get my paycheck each month.

My selfie for the male-specific day of #selfieweek. As you can see, I look a little less flattering in this picture than I did in the one in my car 2 days ago. As I said then, I kinda dislike the way I look in pictures. The placement of my eyes is asymmetrical, whenever I smile I look like I grimace, when I smile my eyes sort of close with the scrunching up of my face and my centrally-heterochromatic eyes (brown around the pupil and a very nice shade of grayish-blue for the rest of the iris with a ring of gray around the latter) are no longer visible (that’s why my passport photo looks like a fucking prison mugshot), and I’m overweight, which I’m trying to fix. Long story short, the majority of pictures of me are not really flattering. But, as I said on Tuesday, #selfieweek gives me an excuse to post a picture of myself and not be judged…except maybe by the #fuckwhitey and #diecismalescum crowds. Anyway, fellow gents who have body issues, here’s advice that my grandmother gave me: “wear good-looking clothes that fit you well in all the right places. If you look good, no one cares about the size.” Take it from me: If you do, you’ll look good and, on top of that, feel good. I speak from experience. Anyway, I’ll get off my soapbox. Thanks AFPE for this week. It gave me, a guy with some body issues and a slight aversion to selfies the confidence to post two of them in 3 days

To the asshat going around spouting crap about psychology to people who are not responsible for said asshat's education:

And I’ll put all my possible biases up here, up front, in bold:

I was a psych major.  I am (as soon as I get my ass in gear) going to grad school for clinical psychology.  Stumbling on psychology actually changed my life and got me re-engaged in learning at a moment when I more than likely would have dropped out of school.

I am a queer woman of color.  I’m brown, in a place and time where being brown automatically makes me a “terrorist.”  I currently don’t code for gender easily, so I’m automatically a “freak.”  

I have so much love for queer women, and women of color, and queer women of color, that sometimes I can’t breathe.  I have so much righteous rage on behalf of queer women, and women of color, and queer women of color, that sometimes I can’t breathe.

OKAY.  Now that that’s out of the way.  Here’s the deal about psychology and queer folk: psychology spent, oh, almost its entire existence making queerness a disease.  There have been various iterations of “deviance” used to refer to any type of queerness.  Let’s not go into how those listings of deviance were used to inflict horrific “treatments” (read: torture) on queer people in the name of a “cure.”  Ethics codes for psychological studies and treatments were only put in place in the mid-80s.  It was only in 1986 that the psych “bible” fully removed homosexuality from its listing of mental pathologies.

Dude.  1986.  Less than 30 years ago.  We had a man on the moon before psychology figured out that being queer wasn’t a mental deficiency and that people should probably be treated with some type of decency.  ON THE MOON.

Honestly, if anybody needs more context for why psychology should not be the go-to when dealing with queer folk, I don’t know how to help.


Now, psychology and women of color, that one’s easy.  According to psychology, women of color don’t exist.  

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anonymous asked:

I'm done following your blog. I liked the comedy and I used to be able to ignore your bullshit, but lately it is always in view. More and more you're completely dismissing other peoples' points of view while insisting that all of your viewers take care of your "feelings." This blog isn't about "comedy, photoshop, kittens, & corgis," it's just a soapbox for half-baked political opinions like the rest. I hope for your sake that you can learn to respect others, but I will never find out.

My opinions are fully baked. I just can’t guarantee everyone will find them tasty. 

I post 10 things per day. 70 per week. 280 per month. In addition, I post 10 to 20 soapbox posts. So my blog is 86% comedy, photoshop, kittens, & corgis. I really feel like you are overstating how much of it is fully baked political opinions. 

As for respecting people, I think I have shown infinite patience with people who have shown me nothing but hatred and vitriol. I didn’t even lose it when someone suggested killing my dog.

If I give them a little sass in return, that is just cuz I was taught by Tibetan Sass Monks in the Himalayas for 12 years as a youth. My sass is now a reflex. Pure muscle memory. It cannot be helped when it rears its sassy head. 

See you Space Cowboy… I’m going to go have some “feelings” now. 

Just a quick comment to the OUAT and particularly the OQ fandom. I know that we’re dealing with big issues here, and that many of them aren’t dealt with adequately on the show. But if we could all give each other the benefit of the doubt, and speak to each other respectfully and without condescension? 

So instead of assuming that everyone who wishes OQ could have a biological baby is anti-adoption and didn’t understand the point of “Mother”, could we just assume maybe they kind of wanted to watch Regina carry a baby? Can we stop thinking there’s something inherently wrong in being a little disappointed about that? Can we stop thinking there’s something wrong with people who are glad we won’t see that?

Instead of assuming people who weren’t happy with Robin these past few weeks “don’t understand complicated relationships” or “don’t want OQ to be real people” or whatever, can we recognize people’s right to dislike writing or plots or moments? 

Basically, instead of insulting people personally, and sanctimoniously explaining to them why they’re delusional and dumb or whatever, can we try to keep to talking about the story, and be nice to each other?


listen here is a cool fun secret. if someone is talking about something outlandish or strange to you and your response is to jump in with something like “why the fuck would you think of this” or “what drugs are you on”, you’re not being funny or witty. you’re being, at best, boring. the person PROBABLY knows that what they’ve said is strange, and you’re not illuminating some new exciting truth. you’re adding something useless to a conversation, and you’re probably also going to make someone feel bad. so like??? if you do not want to join the Fun Weird Party, that’s cool, but also just Shut the Fuck Up if your immediate response is to put on your Fun Police Badge.

The History of the Dress War - February, 2029

February, 2029

I take a moment to mark the occasion, it seems like somebody ought to.  Tonight we enter year fifteen of the Dress War.  I look at the tired faces of the men and women around me and I wonder for the hundredth time if it was all worth it.  If I had it to do again, would I?

The Blueblacks thought they had our backs to the walls in the early days of the war.  They found the listing online.  The dress came in several varieties, but one said it was blue and black and none were marked as white and gold.  They razed our columns, shouted down our opinions, and wrote long winded think pieces about the science of why we were wrong.

But we showed those absolutists a thing or two about truth.  They may have had the documents, but we had the numbers. Seventy percent saw it as white and gold and we would be damned if we’d let their think pieces overshadow what we could see with our own eyes.  While the sightless Blueblacks slept we burnt down the department stores and smelted their clothing racks to forge the new weapons of war.

Within the first week, thirty percenters were climbing to every soapbox to denounce our so-called “mob mentality”.  They brought tablets and laptops to cry to any who would listen.  Some even printed the ads themselves, cutting and pasting the the “science” behind their claims to prove their rightness.  They were so determined to be right.  All they made themselves were vulnerable.

After the first year, we had cut their numbers in half.  Soapboxes in every town square and online message board ran red with the blood of the Blueblacks and still they would not back down.  They went into hiding, spreading the word through back channels and undiscovered sub-reddits.  Tumblr cried out for an ending to the violence, claiming that it didn’t matter.  Facebook tried to tell us the dress was ugly, so who cared what color it was.  We cared because we were right.

Then came their most devious assault.  They took to twitter with all manner of divisive hashtags.  They tried to distract us with racism, celebrity death, even nonsensical politics.  They even tried to link the glory of Whitegold to the scourge of gamer gate.

But what they didn’t understand is that our vision was clear.  We could see right through their attempts to divide us.  For we are the Whitegold and our vision is true.  That’s what they never seemed to understand. Truth is not an absolute. Truth is the thing that the most of us can agree to.  We are many and they are few.

The final assault on the Absolutists came only a week ago.  We have burned down the internet.  There are now more adds, there are no more dresses, there is no more blue and black.  There is only white and gold.

They hide in the shadows now, the Blueblacks, whispering about the number of blue cones in your eyes and how they are overworked.  We carve out their eyes and then they see.  They see the white and gold.  They see the glory that we have always been so blessed to behold.  It is only a matter of time now. 

Soon all will see.

Soon the true color of the dress can be undisputed.


Would I do it again?  Of course I would.  Because someone on the internet is wrong and their is no hill not worth dying on.

anonymous asked:

Hey Frances, First off I want to say you are absolutely gorgeous and I love your modification work! I was interested in getting my tongue split and maybe someday my ears pointed. Is there any body mod artists you prefer to recommend? Any info would be greatly appreciated! Thnx so much!

Aww thank you! :)

It’s weird that you asked me that actually, because it’s been a topic of conversation, and cause for irritation in our house the last few weeks… so forgive me if I get on my soapbox for a minute.

In this industry, as in many others, empty vessels make the most noise, and I see a lot of this (ethically questionable) noise on the interwebz lately.

The public is pretty uninformed regarding the risks and restrictions involved in heavier modification work, and there’s a reason for that… the people who have been performing them safely for years have kept an intentionally low profile.

I have made a LOT of aesthetic changes over the years, so trust me when I say there is only one U.S. based practitioner that should be touching you with his gloved hands, and that is Brian Decker.

Brian has been in the game a long time and you have my personal guarantee that you will leave your appointment safe and happy.

He is based in NYC, but travels often so follow his social media & if you don’t see him coming to your area, shoot him a message and make it happen!


Instagram; @xbriandeckerx

(Don’t know his Facepage because I’m not on there, maybe someone else can link it?)

anonymous asked:

im a radfem who enjoys yr opinions and thoughts so im rly curious, what disillusioned you from radfeminism? how are we being garbagewomen today? genuinely curious bc sometimes i dont see or realize things like this until pointed out

hey! thanks for the message. unfortunately this is going to be a bit vague in some regards because i don’t want to stir up very much—i am a tired lady!!—but if you’d like to PM me or come off anon i’d be happy to discuss some of it further with you.

don’t get me wrong—i still treasure and ascribe to a lot of radical feminist theory, but the way i see it being used and applied here is not something i am comfortable with. in the last few weeks, I’ve seen:

  • several grown ass women bullying and soapboxing on posts by a fucking teenager because they said they were non binary or something 
  • women comparing women’s bodies to livestock in a very crude way to make some #vegan #point
  • nasty, malicious attitudes towards people who disagree with their politics, especially the callous treatment of rape survivors who aren’t in line with their ideals and the outright denial of the basic fact that trans people are socially vulnerable and marginalized in this world regardless of the offensiveness of any random person’s politics 
  • transparently racist discourse
  • a flat refusal to critically think through differences of opinion/relying on theory as golden, untouchable and impervious to questioning

along with the constant standard of the general minimization of other forms of oppression that less privileged women experience, namely: male-attracted women speaking over and appropriating wlw language and experiences; white women patronizing WoC and pushing aside racism [or saying that all women’s oppression experience is equal or comparable regardless of their vastly different individual intersecting axes]; highly guarded, combative and elitist focus by highly-educated radfems which is unwelcoming and inaccessible; etc.

a very large part of radfem tumblr is loaded with vitriol and its simply not constructive. i learned so much from the community but it is a cannibalistic, unsustainable environment which is why SO many women who participate end up distancing themselves, pulling back or branching off, myself included. i very quickly grew tired of the majority of posts focusing on attacking opposition rather than raising consciousness and supporting other women.

radfem tumblr, like any other tumblr community, easily becomes a hotbed of drama and an echo chamber that has at times put other women’s health, comfort and safety at risk, and if you are lucky enough to have avoided that particular section of the snake pit so far i am very happy for you.