me listening to american beauty/american psycho for the first time:
what.... is happening to my ears right now, it sounds like they're just banging all the instruments against each other while Patrick yells
Mob wakes up with tears staining his cheeks. He wipes them away
guiltily even as they continue to flow; he doesn’t want to wake up Teru,
who’s curled up next to him.
After all, it’s the first time Mob is sleeping over at Teru’s since they’ve become a couple. Mob doesn’t want to ruin it.
But it seems he can’t help it. Teru is a light sleeper, and Mob’s
quiet sniffles draw him from whatever dream he was having to the
darkness of reality. “Shigeo?”, he mumbles sleepily, then his eyes widen
as he realizes what woke him up. “Shigeo, are you alright…? Did you
have a bad dream?”
Mob nods his head, then shakes it, unsure which is the best response.
He doesn’t want to upset Teru, doesn’t want him to worry. This is Mob’s
burden to bear. “I’m fine, please go back to sleep.”
Teru doesn’t; Teru brushes the tears from his cheek, pulls him even
closer, circles his arms around Mob and kisses the crown of his head.
“It’s alright, Shigeo. You can always tell me when you’re upset.”
Mob relaxes into Teru’s embrace, hugs him as tightly as he dares - but not too tight as not to hurt him.
Teru chuckles into his hair, his breath ghosting over Mob’s head. “Was it that bad?”
frowns slightly, and nuzzles closer. “I don’t… remember,” he admits
guiltily. He should, though: Teru is comforting him and hugging him and
listening to him and here he is, not even able to remember. “I’m sorry.”
feels Teru’s chest vibrate as he sighs, and says, “Oh, Shigeo,” and Mob
flinches, suspicions confirmed - but then Teru kisses his head again,
and begins to… pet it? In a way. He runs his slender fingers
across Mob’s head softly, tangles them in his hair, massages his scalp
through the thick black strands.
It feels really
nice, and Mob is so thankful, so grateful to have such a kind and
patient boyfriend. He breathes in Teru’s scent, and a pang of something
half-forgotten tugs at his mind.
“I… I was lonely. In the dream. I remember that. I was terribly alone, and I felt so lost.”
freezes in surprise, then he pulls Mob even closer, almost squishing
him in the process - but that’s fine with Mob, because it reminds him
that this is real, and Teru is real, and he’s here. “Shigeo…”
Teru pauses thoughtfully, then murmurs. “I have an idea. But… will you be okay if I let go?”
Mob thinks. “Yes,” Mob says, and apparently Teru is not a telepath,
because he gently untangles himself from Mob and gets up from their
“I used to get lonely a lot,” Teru says as he walks to his closet, “When I first moved in here.”
opens it, pulls something out of the top shelf. “As a kid, when you’re
offered the option to live alone, your first thought is wow, cool! But when you wake up in the middle of the night to a silent house and your parents are halfway across the city, it’s…”
pauses, and Mob wonders what kind of an expression Teru is making. He
can’t see in the dark, but then, could he tell even if he saw it?
“It’s lonely. And terrifying.”
is walking around the room now, trailing a thick thread of some sort
behind him, to which some round things are attached, some bigger, some
smaller. They make a rough scratching sound as they are dragged across
the floor. Mob begins to feel curious. What is Teru doing? How can he
even see more than vague shapes in this darkness?
“But then I found this.”
is a clicking sound, and suddenly the room is bright; Mob squeezes his
eyes shut automatically but slowly opens them at the sound of Teru’s
Mob’s breath catches in his throat.
ceiling is now covered with round paper lanterns: big lanterns, small
lanterns, connected by black cable that’s held aloft through psychic
power. The lanterns are brightly colored; pastel blue and neon pink and
lime green and warm orange, all mixed up and shining and warm.
feels an arm drape across his shoulders; as he sat up, Teru must’ve sat
down next to him. The blonde smiles softly at him, the slightest blush
covering his cheeks. “What do you think?”
Mob returns the smile; it’s impossible not to. “This is… wonderful. You - are wonderful, Teruki…”
Teru laughs, and kisses Mob’s cheek. “So you say, but guess who’s the reason that I barely need these anymore?”
It takes Mob probably longer than it should, but as he understands, his eyes widen and he blushes fiercely. “Teru…!”
fail him, as usual; they are to chunky and uncomfortable to convey what
he’s feeling - so he tentatively tries something else.
Something easier, and just as warm as the lights floating above them.
feels Teru’s breath hitch as Mob leans over and kisses him, Teru’s mouth as sweet and soft as the first time they’d shared
their breath. Teru melts around him, pulling him closer, and Mob sighs
happily, warmth flooding into him from every connecting point.
“I love you,” he murmurs when they finally disconnect. “You shine as bright as the lanterns.”
Teru smiles against his lips. “And you shine even brighter.”