weed for everyone

Conversation at work
  • News on radio: "Liberals to announce marijuana will be legal by July 1, 2018 in Canada."
  • Coworker: So this mean we'll be allowed to smoke weed on the job, right?
  • Everyone: *Look at him with a "are you fucking serious?" look on their face*
  • Coworker: What?!
  • Me: I wouldn't count too much on that buddy.
  • thin girl: all i do is eat pizza and smoke weed and play video games
  • everyone: god... she is The Dream Girl... so cute and Unique... shes not like the other girls who only eat salads, shes Real
  • fat girl: i like pizza too
  • everyone: wow... consider being healthy maybe? disgusting

It’s a cozy Saturday night for me, and I ain’t feelin bad about it 😊💖
I hope you’re all having a good weekend @astr0zombies @stoner-vogue @stonedpisces @rachelsfuckingzooted @delightfullyhigh @weedstop @peacefulpothead @paradisiak @chubbybluntz @haisies @bakedoutblossom @battyyy @batgirlbrit @spaced-queen @that-deadhead @eyesthesizeofmoons @kawaiiganjakween @bonghits-n-cherrypits @deth-handles @denvercaphilldabber @garlictoast66 @legitimatelala @royallyoily @infjenn @fourtyse7en @a-northern-peach

this flowers instead of gems thing is so cool… some Thoughts from someone who likes flower symbolism too much

  • if we have a half flower/half human hero, she should be a daisy! they represent innocence, purity and cheerfulness, all of which are great traits for a kid hero. also, daisies are technically weeds but everyone loves them anyway which is Symbolic.
  • you also get big daisies and small daisies. so her mum is a big daisy but she’s a small daisy!
  • i think a rose probably has to be a major character… like maybe i’m going too much off rose quartz from su here but “every rose has its thorns” so making rose betray the group somehow would be cool… i’d make her either a red rose (the obvious), a yellow rose (betrayal and dishonesty!!), or a white rose (when dried this means “sorrow” which is very interesting).
  • nettles can mean life and death, or they can mean protection if you believe shakespeare… so here’s a character that joins the good guys later. probably a warrior-type with that sting.
  • a violet could be good. i’m mostly thinking “gay” here. but a purple violet can also mean daydreaming, so she could be a really cute spacey gay…
  • the flowers are ruled by queen sunflower. or at the very least, sunflowers should be super high-class, just look at em.
  • someone suggested lily of the valleys being high class and like - why not all lilies? orange lilies can mean desire, passion or hatred which would be a really cool villain concept!
  • there’s two unnatural rose colours which have meanings, blue (the impossible, mysteries) and black (death, farewell), both of which could be kinda cool backstory characters. technically black roses do exist irl but they are really fucking rare.
  • lavender means both “devotion” and “distrust”, which… like. hello. that right there is your character arc.
  • okay there’s a flower called bird of paradise and it means things like magnificence and beauty and honestly this is just asking for a character with petal-wings and a whole lotta style.
  • the iris symbolises wisdom and eloquence, which could lend itself well to a mentor-type figure.
  • there’s a flower called lobelia which just straight up means “malevolence” like wow…

like we need a proper tag for this because i have So Many Thoughts

When the Houses team up to host parties...

Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw: You cannot breath for the amount of weed. Everyone is stoned into oblivion, having conversations about philosophy and the nature of humanity that basically all conclude that Humans just need to chill out.

Slytherin and Hufflepuff: The birthplace of all relationships—the whole night is just people dancing and snogging, that’s literally it, and it’s glorious, beloved by pretty much everyone. Really good snacks. 

Hufflepuff and Gryffindor: Everything is a competition, there will be at least a dozen dance-offs over the course of the evening, which almost always ends with twister.

Ravenclaw and Gryffindor: Invariably results in creative vandalism—there will be a 20ft mural graffitied somewhere in the school the next day, an no, no-one has the slightest clue how they managed it, but everyone will insist it’s Clever and Edgy and probably a Statement.

Ravenclaw and Slytherin: So sophisticated, so stylish. These are cocktail parties, and you either dress up or look like a total twat. You have never seen so much winged eyeliner, nor any so sharp.

Slytherin and Gryffindor: A mess, not for the faint hearted—it’s go hard or go home. So much alcohol, so many poor life choices made. Do Not open any closed doors, you really don’t want to see what they’re doing in there. At least three people end up in the hospital wing, without fail.

the signs and how they're being problematic at ur house party
  • aries: keeps rearranging your decorations and changing the song
  • taurus: called the police
  • gemini: took their clothes off
  • cancer: locked themselves in your room and no one knows what their problem is
  • leo: wants to fight everyone
  • virgo: giving head in the bathroom
  • libra: trying to sell weed to everyone
  • scorpio: threw a cigarette butt into the hedge out front and now its on fire
  • sagittarius: on the fucking roof
  • capricorn: has to pee every 3 minutes
  • aquarius: doing lines of cocaine off the kitchen counter
  • pisces: making out with your dad