wedged between my dad and the couch

Craig: Man it’s a long shitty story. 
Craig: I was going to college, but I didn’t really have any way to support myself so I got stuck living with my parents. Which I really didn’t want to do.
Craig: It’s kind of hard to explain without right out telling you my whole tragic life story or whatever- but long story short things got so bad at my parents the only good option was for me to leave.
Craig: Don’t get me wrong, my folks are great people. I just drove a wedge between them since the day I was born, and the older I got the worse it got. I was lucky my dad even wanted to raise me, but I was the worst teenager- that didn’t help things.
Craig: Ugh, anyway- My friend Clyde offered to let me crash on his couch for a while, but his fiance and I don’t get along. 
Craig: The next best option was well… this.

36 Reasons to Fall Asleep

Pairing: Jason/Percy

Warnings: Alcohol, drinking, difficulty/inability to fall asleep

Genre: Au, Fluff, very minor angst

Description: Percy is coping with the reality of falling out of love. To cheer him up Jason suggests they try out a test designed to make strangers fall in love. (roomates au with college!Jason and youtuber!percy) written for Jercy thursday

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Monkey Buisness

Can you do one were your parents want to meet your bf Andy and he comes over and your parents embarrass you by showing Andy baby pics and talking about the most embarrassing times in your past and he just laughs and thinks of how adorable you were then when there done you take Andy to your room and he just teases you and you guys cuddle and fluff at the and

————

Y/N’S P.O.V.

“I promise, Andy. My parents are the sweetest people you will ever meet.”

“Not possible. You’re the sweetest.”

“Oh shush you.”

Andy and I continue to playfully bicker down the road, grinning and laughing like idiots.

“We’re here!” I suddenly shout, making Andy slam on the brakes as we jolt forward.“

"You could’ve told me sooner.” He says, giving me a pointed look as he pulls that car into the driveway.

“I could’ve, but that’s no fun. Now, just a precaution, know that instead of shaking hands, like normal parents, they will literally hug you until you can’t breathe.”

“No they won’t. You’re just bullshitting me.” Andy says, smirking over at me as the car turns off and we get out.

“Fine, don’t come running to me when they crack a rib from the force of the hug.” I snicker, walking around the car to grab Andy’s hands and pull him towards the door.

“Trust me, I know they won’t-” the door swings open, cutting Andy off as my parents drag us inside.

“Honey! It’s been so long! Have you lost some weight? My, you’ve gotten so beautiful!” My mom exasperates, wrapping her arms around me in a bone crushing hug.

“Andy..” I wheeze out, “this is my mom.” My mom let’s me go and I gasp for breath, only to be pulled into another hug by my dad which is a lot tighter.

“Hello Mrs. Y/L/N.” Andy says politely.

“Oh please. Call me (your moms name).” She says before giving Andy a hug as tight as she gave me.

‘Told you so’ I mouth to Andy, smirking over my dad’s shoulder. He sets me down and I gasp for breath again, placing my hands on my knees and bending over.

“Next time we see each other again, let’s not suffocate us.” I say as my mom finally let’s Andy escape her death grip, watching as he gasps for air.

“Oh honey we’re just excited to see you both.” My father says, grinning.

“Yeah, I can tell.” I say sarcastically, smiling so they know I’m joking.

“Hush, hush. Now, c'mon!” My mom says jokingly, grabbing Andy and I’s hands and tugging us into the living room.

“Told you.” I say quietly to Andy, smiling slightly.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” He says back, rolling his eyes playfully.

I grin, biting my lip as my mom sits us down on the couch, running around the living room in search of something.

“It’s right here, darling.” My father says, holding up a thick book.

It can’t be….

“DAD! NOT THOSE PICTURES!” I shout, realizing that book holds my baby photos.

“Too late!” My mom shouts gleefully, wedging herself between Andy and I as my father hands her the book before siting next to me.

I hold my face in my hands, groaning as I shake my head.

“This is when Y/N lost her first tooth.” My mom says, showing Andy the picture.

I instantly remember that day. I was running around the house, laughing until I ran into a door. I was crying on the floor because my mouth was bleeding and there was a gap between my teeth.

My tooth was a bit bloody, and I was holding it in my palm in the picture, smiling shyly with a small gap in my mouth when I was about 5 years old.

“And this was when she cut her hair herself.”

That was a bad hair day for sure…

I used my safety scissors and cut bangs on myself, but I cut them to short so they stuck straight up.

“The day we taught her how to hang upside down. She actually convinced herself she was a monkey for about a year.”

“MOM!” I groan, my face beat red.

I peek at Andy, seeing him grinning at me.

“You think I can get a copy of this picture?” He asks my mom, making her grin.

“Oh of course!”

The picture was when I had my two front teeth missing, hanging upside down on the monkey bars by my knees and my arms spread out. Of course though, I was wearing a dress so that was almost covering my face and everyone got a look at my pink and purple polka-dot undies, with several star stickers on my stomach.

“Okay! We’re done with this. I’m showing Andy around the house.” I say, desperate to pull him away from my embarrassing parents.

I grab Andy’s hands, tugging him down the hall.

“I want to see your room.” He says, his grin still plastered on his face.

“LAST ROOM ON THE LEFT!” My dad shouts from the kitchen, his cackles filling the air.

“DAD!” I shout as Andy escapes my hands, walking down the hall to my room.

“No!” But it’s too late, Andy already opened the door and was laughing.

“I thought you hated purple and blue?!”

“It was a phase!”

I stomp into the room, collapsing on my old bed as Andy looks around the room, snickering every once in a while.

I bury my head into the pillow, wanting to forget this moment. I feel the bed sink in besides me and arms wrap around my waist.

“This was so embarrassing!” I say as I turn around, wrapping my arms around Andy and hiding my face into his shoulder.

“Really? I thought it was adorable.” He says, referring to the pictures, hopefully…

“No it wasn’t.” I shake my head in protest, making him chuckle and press his lips to my temple. I look up from his shoulder, a blush apparent on my cheeks.

“Yes,” he says, kissing my lips softly, “it was.”

The boyfriend

“I don’t like him….” Jason whispered to Nico as they watched their daughter with her new boyfriend. The couple sat on the couch ‘studying’ as Bianca’s dads sat at the table spying.

“Well, give it some time, we haven’t even actually met him yet,” Nico tried to stay optimistic, though he owned his own doubts.

“Exactly! What if he’s a rebel. See the way his hair falls into his eyes, that’s a sign,” Jason pointed out, studying the way the boys dark brown hair swept over his icy blue eyes.

“My hair fall into my eyes,” Nico reminded, blowing a pile of tangled black hair out of his face.

Jason just shrugged. Then he stood and walked over to the couch, wedging himself between the two.

“Dad!” Bianca protested, her hazel eyes glaring at Jason, which just made him more satisfied. 

“Jason!” Nico yelled, rushing in and pulling him off the couch.

“What, no PDA under my roof!”

“Come on dad,” Bianca protested. When Jason refused to move she turned to Nico, “daddy, can you talk to him?”

Nico sighed, “You think he listens to me? Maybe if we can just have a nice, civil, conversation with this young man you brought home we won’t feel so worried,” Nico replied, grabbing himself a chair.

Bianca refused to speak for several seconds but finally agreed, heading to her room and wishing the day to end as soon as possible.

“Hi, I’m Jeremy, Nice to meet you sirs-’' 

’'Flattery will get you nowhere!” Jason interrupted, causing the boy to jump and Nico to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

“What he means to say is, it’s nice to meet you too, Jeremy. I’m Nico and this is-”

“Mr.Grace.”

“Yes sir. By the way I love your tattoo,” Jeremy pointed out the S.P.Q.R marking on Jason’s arm.

“Have any of your own? Or piercings? Don’t lie to me!” Jason threatened.

“Um…No..” The boy stammered.

“He hesitated, did you see?” Jason freaked.

“Of course dear; Anyway, how are your grades?” Nico asked politely.

“I get mostly A’s, though I have a few B’s…”

“B’s, that’s practically failing,” Jason exaggerated.

“So how’d you meet Bianca? When did you start dating?” Nico changed the subject.

“Well she’s in a lot of my classes, and one day we just decided go out. We’ve only been officially boyfriend and girlfriend for about a week. She talks about you two all the time though, and I really hope for your approval.”

“Of course, you seem like a very nice guy,” Nico smiled.

“Wait,what? That’s it? No! This is not over! I am trained in the art of sword fighting! If you heart my little girl I swear to gods…” Jason’s voice faded as Nico pulled him back to their room.

“Sorry about that…” Bianca apologized as she exited her room and timidly sat back down on the couch.

“Don’t worry….It’s worth it.”