wedged between my dad and the couch

Craig: Man it’s a long shitty story. 
Craig: I was going to college, but I didn’t really have any way to support myself so I got stuck living with my parents. Which I really didn’t want to do.
Craig: It’s kind of hard to explain without right out telling you my whole tragic life story or whatever- but long story short things got so bad at my parents the only good option was for me to leave.
Craig: Don’t get me wrong, my folks are great people. I just drove a wedge between them since the day I was born, and the older I got the worse it got. I was lucky my dad even wanted to raise me, but I was the worst teenager- that didn’t help things.
Craig: Ugh, anyway- My friend Clyde offered to let me crash on his couch for a while, but his fiance and I don’t get along. 
Craig: The next best option was well… this.