wedding puns

Think of all the wedding puns

I’d like to think that Yang already knows Blake is going to propose, and she likes to joke about it every now and then

Yang: Eh, I should just propose and get it over it

Blake: Hmm… Maybe you should

Yang: Are you going to say yes if I do?

Blake: I’m not going to say no?

Yang: That’s not an answer

Blake, as she smiles: I think you know the answer already

Yang, as she smiles back: Yeah, I think I do…

Yang: I DO, get it??

Blake:

Blake: When we get married, you’re not invited to the wedding

Patton: You know, Lee and Mary Lee’s wedding was really emotional.

Logan: Oh god, please don’t say it.

Patton: Even the cake was in tiers!

Logan: I hate you.

Welcome Home

I’m being very recluse-y at the moment, but I whipped this super quick thing up. Maid of Honor episode tag, ~2000 words, no warnings. Happy second Bismuthversary to all! This time, finally not in a bubble anymore! Rejoice!

Welcome Home


Biggs was, true to her name, a big one, and if she didn’t know it wasn’t how Gems worked, Bismuth would have sworn the jasper had grown at least a couple of inches since they’d first met. It was more likely just the shift in her bearing and attitude - no need to keep her nose down in case some stuck-up agate was having a bad day, after all. No strict formations to hold for hours, no palanquins or throne rooms or control centres to stand statue-still ever-imposing guard over.

It was a real wonder what even the first whiff of freedom did to Gems. Bismuth hoped with all her might she’d get to keep seeing it, and so much more beyond just that first step, for a long time to come. That she’d get to lend a helping hand to anyone grappling with the newfound world of endless possibilities before them.

Right now it meant a constant stream of visitors to the Forge, some more demanding and more of a challenge than others, but all of them a joy to figure out - and Bismuth was with them all the way up to the moment they put their hands on that axe, or sword, or halberd, or whatever it was they felt had their name on it.

Outfitting Biggs was a blast in entirely different ways from, say, making intricate but elegant and still very deadly things for Pearl, or revelling in the perfect symmetry of something lovingly crafted for Garnet, or pouring all of herself into creating something befitting of Rose.

The Forge was mercifully empty when the hulking Biggs Jasper started swinging her new axe, testing the balance and hefting it onto her shoulder, a look of utter and very contagious glee on her face. “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Bis - this is flawless! Oh, just look at how it arcs. I don’t even know how you managed to make it so large and still so perfectly… wieldy.”

Bismuth could only match her grin with a bright and proud one of her own. “Hey, you know what they say: go Biggs or go home!”

The response of a playful jab to her shoulder almost sent her flying halfway across the room and into a nearby pool of lava, but Biggs made sure to catch her and spin it into a hug - quick, but heartfelt, just like everything else she did. “You’re a riot, Bismuth.”

She shot Biggs her best approximation of a deeply thoughtful expression. “Pretty sure I’m wanted for starting that memorable one the last time Blue Diamond held court, but I can’t recall I’ve ever been called one. Thanks!”

“Well, first time for everything,” Biggs snickered. The hand clapped on Bismuth’s shoulder spanned halfway across her back, and she wouldn’t have traded that weight for the world. “Never change.”

She patted Biggs’s arm. “Only for the better, hey? This bismuth has a very demanding customer base. Wouldn’t want to let you lot down by not keeping up with the latest trends in arms and armour and terrible but entirely necessary jokes.”

The suitably big, sunny smile felt like more than enough reward. “I know you, Bis. You could never let us down.”

The lava bubbled steadily, familiarly - what Bismuth would have called calming, maybe, in slightly different circumstances.

Its glow washed over all the endless bubbles serenely bobbing up and down, muting their many colours until staring at them almost made them blur into one strangely monochrome mass. But Bismuth blinked and refocused her gaze, determined to give each and every Gem her due. Even the ones she didn’t recognise. After all, it didn’t seem like sides mattered much anymore, not here.

There, again, was Beryl, and right next to her Bixbite and Tiger’s Eye. Then, very close together, a few quartzes she didn’t know, probably from the same unlucky battalion. Floating just below them, the familiar blue glint of the Kyanite who’d only just joined when Bismuth was- when Bismuth got-

Well, she’d take another look at those blue-grey throwing knives she’d never gotten to finish. Just in case. For when Kyanite might need them again.

And there - Biggs. Gem shining, in perfect condition, within a fresh pink bubble that pulled at Bismuth’s insides strangely.

Keep reading

Wedding Day

Request: 3 anons requested this prompt for Sebastian Stan x reader


Person A: I want a divorce

Person B: Babe we’ve only been married for an hour

Warnings: None


Today was like something out of a fairytale. You married the love of your life in front of your family and friends. The moment he saw you in your dress he lost his composure. He was convinced that he had never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. You felt like the luckiest girl on the planet.

The reception was held at a beautiful outdoor resort in Malibu with the most breathtaking views. It was a celebration that everyone was going to remember for a long time. Finally, it was time for your first dance as husband and wife. He pulled you close as everyone gathered around to watch. However, you don’t notice any of them. It felt like you and Sebastian were the only ones in the world.

“Have I told you how absolutely stunning you look?” Sebastian asked as you two sway together.

“Only a few dozen times, but I’m certainly not against hearing it.” You smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my wife now.”

“Well believe it mister you’re legally stuck with me now.” You tease.

“Wouldn’t have it any other day.” He smiles as you two continue to dance. “Tell me love, was today everything you’d hope it would be?”

“Everything was perfect babe. Way better than I could ever have imagined.”

“Good. My girl only deserves the best. Today has been emotional.”

“Yeah it’s been very emotional that’s for sure.”

“Our wedding is so emotional even our cake is in tiers.” He smiles proudly.

“Did you really just make a wedding pun?” You laugh.

“Maybe.”

“I want a divorce.” You tease.

“Babe we’ve only been married an hour.” He whines.

“You’re right I’ll give it another hour before I make any final decisions.”

“If you think I’m ever going to let you go you’re out of your mind.” He says in between kisses.

“Mmm babe save it for after the reception we’ve got many eyes on us right now.”

“Okay okay.” He sighs before he pulls back slightly.

“Don’t forget we have the entire honeymoon to look forward to.” You whisper in his ear.

“Oh Mrs. Stan you have no idea how much I’m looking forward to that.”