webseries: whatever this is


Happy Twelfth Night, everyone.

I paid $239 at the vet yesterday. $238.43 to be exact. The exact number is important because of the sound it makes. $238.43 sound like the way I kept him on a hot water bottle with the UV light near him. The way I had to force his mouth open for his food, water, and medication. The way his colours drifted from bright to pale. $238.43 sound like the last glance he gave me before he passed on. Like the last movement of his tail onto my hand. The last time his heart beat over my skin. It sounds like the posture he fell asleep forever in. Like the minutes I spent staring at his lifeless body. The warmth disappearing into the air. $238.43 sound like the trowel pulling out wet soil on a rainy day. Like the tears falling from my brother’s eyes. And mine. It sounds like the burial of our loved one. $238.43…it sounds like the silence on our dinner table tonight. It sounds like a soul without a silhouette. $238.43. It sounds like you.