Ask me stuff, I have zero interaction with my followers.
1. What is something you always wear, even in the shower?
2. What is your favorite thing to wear to sleep?
3. What is/was your favorite stuffed animal growing up!
4. Have you read any book more than 5 times?
5. How did you feel after your first kiss?
6. What Tempe of underwear do you prefer?
7. What was the first movie you’ve seen in a movie theater?
8. What is your state or country’s minimum wage?
9. What moment in time did you truly feel ‘awe-inspired?’
10. What is your least favorite food?
11. What is your favorite constellation and why?
12. If you could have any hair style you wanted, what would it look like?
13. Gold, silver, or bronze accessories?
14. Do you have any allergies?
15. Do you like the smell of cedar wood?
16. Shower curtain, or door?
17. Do you wear slippers?
18. What is your favorite pattern?
19. Do you watch any big sports games?
20. Can you play any instruments?
21. If you could learn any language that you don’t already know semi-fluently, what would it be?
22. What is your favorite topic in history class?
23. Do you believe in love at first sight?
24. Name one dream that ruined your day when you woke up.
25. Have you ever burned yourself?
26. Do you own a hair dryer?
27. What age did you learn to make toast?
28. What color is the mat in your bathroom?
29. Name something in your bathroom you constantly run out of besides toilet paper.
30. What kind of watch do you wear?
31. How much did the shirt you’re wearing right now cost?
32. Are you still friends with anyone from middle school?
33. Do you hope to advance at your current job?
34. Would you like to marry whoever you’re seeing right now?
35. Have you ever thought to yourself that you’re the luckiest person in the world?
36. What is your favorite color to paint your nails?
37. What time of day do you most enjoy looking at the sky?
38. What is your dream vehicle?
39. What was the best thing you ever did for your parents or legal guardians or parent figures?
40. Have you ever worn a suit?
41. Would you rather make 2d or 3d art?
42. Have you ever made a list of questions for Tumblr?
43. Do you prefer candles or incense?
44. If you marry, would you do a tradition wedding, or get hitched?
45. What is the weirdest thing you’ve done with binder clips?
46. Do you still go trick-or-treating?
47. Have you ever won a costume contest?
48. What is something you’ve done every summer for as long as you can remember?
49. So you touch things for no reason?
50. Do you eat candy corn?
At the start of last season, Laura Prepon had this to say about her Alex Vause and Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling): “Anybody would look at that relationship and think: ‘Alex needs to get as far away from Piper as possible, and maybe vice versa.’”
How things have changed.
Amid its ever-expanding ensemble of characters, the fifth season of Orange Is the New Black (currently streaming on Netflix) found its way back to the relationship that has been at the heart of Jenji Kohan’s prison dramedy since season one. In the penultimate episode of the new season, Piper proposed - and Alex said, “Yes.”
The episode, titled “Tattoo You,” delivered two parallel flashbacks for the pair, providing insight into why Alex ended up sending Piper to jail in the first place. Rewinding to when Piper was still following Alex all over the world, viewers see her ink herself with a fish tattoo signifying beauty for Alex. Years later, Alex tells a stranger that her “Love is pain” inking was in response to Piper’s beauty fish: Love is pain, not beauty.
Now her ex-girlfriend, Alex admits that Piper broke her heart. The prior seasons have already clued viewers into what happened in between these two memories, but seeing Alex express a mix of anger, love and regret over “ruining Piper’s life” by sending her to Litchfield was a new shade of black on the drug-smuggling nomad.
And Alex wasn’t the only one to have regrets.
Enter a cameo from Jason Biggs, who returned to play Piper’s boyfriend Larry Bloom. When Larry gets his own tattoo, of the Kool-Aid Man, Piper is reminded of Alex and drunk dials her ex later that night. “How are you still in my brain? Do you miss me? Probably not. I miss you,” she says in the rambling voicemail, which upon listening causes Alex to kick out her girlfriend.
“It always feels so good and so gratifying to be able to fill in parts of Piper and Alex’s timeline,” Schilling tells The Hollywood Reporter. “That’s what was so exciting about the show from the very beginning. To have such a specific thing that you want and that you’re going after, as an actor, is just candy. It’s really fun. So when that stuff comes back into play, for me, it focuses the show on its center and it makes it easy to do my job.”
Prepon agreed that it was nice to get clarity on the aftermath of Alex’s decision. “Whenever you can get a little sliver about why they are the way they are is exciting,” she tells THR.
Back at Litchfield, Piper has a phone conversation with her mother, where she says coming close to dying made her realize she doesn’t want to miss out on being with Alex in this lifetime. “I want to stick around because of her,” she admits.
Only hours earlier in Litchfield time, both Piper and Alex, bound and gagged in the shower curtains they were kidnapped in, survived a near-death experience when Piscatella (Brad William Henke) tortured Red (Kate Mulgrew) and threatened their collective existence from inside a janitor’s closet. They survived - Alex with a broken arm and Piper, a newfound outlook.
“When you look at what they just went through with Piscatella, it puts things into perspective,” says Prepon, who also directed the torture episode. “They just went through this insane thing where they almost died. They saw what happened to Red and Alex’s arm is broken and all these things, and they realize: Life is short, I love this person, let’s just do this.”
Prepon says the Piscatella incident - which ultimately ended with the guard being shot and killed by one of his own riot men - shifted things for the tumultuous twosome. “When something like that happens, it makes people really reevaluate,” she says. “You realize what’s important.”
Schilling was directed by a half-naked Prepon for the pivotal torture scenes. Prepon jumped behind the camera around her own takes and Schilling praised her scene partner for surpassing many directors she’s worked with even “with her arms tied behind her back and wearing a shower curtain.” The actresses were wrapped up so they couldn’t use their limbs and required help from the crew. “We would have to go limp and get lowered into place and then get picked back up,” says Schilling. “I’m now a pro at knowing how much powder you need on duct tape so it doesn’t hurt when it gets ripped off.”
Courtesy of Netflix
In front of the camera, however, Piper said she “wanted to die” sitting there and not being able to help Alex when she was hurt. Despite Alex’s insistence that Piper leave her alone, Piper returned to the bunker where the inmates were hiding, Alex’s missing glasses in hand. “You have taught me that love hurts,” began Piper in tears. “You’ve taught me that life, it hurts. And I want to be there for you, I want us to be there for each other so that maybe it hurts a little less.” Getting down on one knee, Piper popped the question, asking Alex to be her partner through love, pain and beauty fish. “I figured that’s what you were doing,” snarked Alex before accepting. Then asking, “You had to do this now?”
The mid-riot romantic gesture was, as Schilling says, so Piper.
“It was interesting that that’s where the rubber met the road for them,” says Schilling. “In the midst of crisis - let’s get married!”
Schilling says when she read the script, she had never given much thought to whether Piper would be the one to ask, focusing instead on how sweet of a way the moment is to “propel their relationship forward” after a high-stakes situation. Prepon, on the other hand, said she was very surprised when she read it: “Not even that it was Piper who proposed, but just that it was happening in general.”
Though their celebratory period was short-lived, Schilling froze the moment in time to imagine how they would be as an engaged couple.
“I can’t imagine it being very much different than what their relationship is like now, which is so heightened and so dysfunctional in many ways,” she says. “Marriage doesn’t generally shift course very much and it’s not really a thing that fixes a relationship. I’m curious to see how they react to that.”
When it came to filming the scene, Prepon laughed about the moment occurring in the very unromantic pool room setting. “I love working with Taylor,” she says. “Whenever we have a scene we just jump into it. We do the damn thing and it’s great and fantastic. She’s a baller and we have a lot of fun together.”
After a quick round of “Mazels,” however, the finale sees Piper and Alex joining hands with eight other inmates as the 10 key characters prepare to face the consequences of their actions. Assuming the missing inmates are hunkered down with weapons, the riot brigade is sent in to remove them from the prison, the finale ending on a defiant cliffhanger. Piper, Alex, Red, Taystee (Danielle Brooks), Black Cindy (Adrienne C. Moore), Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba), Nicky (Natasha Lyonne), Gloria (Selenis Leyva), Frieda (Dale Soules) and Blanca (Laura Gomez) are last shown clutching hands and rocked by the explosion, unaware of what will be greeting them through the other side of the door.
Schilling and Prepon, at this point, don’t know what the future holds for their characters, or any others, when the cast returns to film season six in late July. Prepon, who is nearing her due date, credits savvy scheduling to her maternity leave not impacting filming - “Alex is not coming back pregnant!” she assures.
As history shows, riots don’t end well for inmates, who often end up with time added to their sentence. The final moments of the season showed the inmates being carted away into two buses, heading most likely to new prisons.
Could Alex and Piper survive being separated?
“I don’t know!” says Prepon. “It’s such a tumultuous, awesome, complicated relationship. Even if they both got out the same day, would they make it in the world? Who knows. But that’s what’s so great about the relationship, is that they bring out the best and the worst in each other.”
Schilling admits that the future - Orange has already been picked up through season seven - isn’t looking so bright, but she still remains more optimistic.
“The idea of a relationship is so different than the day-to-day experience with another human being, so maybe that could help them a little bit,” she says.
Were you surprised by the Alex and Piper engagement? Tell THR in the comments below and keep up with Live Feed for cast interviews and full Orange Is the New Black coverage throughout the week.
How satisfied am I with this chapter? I’d say a 6 out of 10. But then again, I’m always hard on myself. Enjoy.
I stood in front of the mirror staring at my outfit. It was a simple black dress, that didn’t stand out too much. I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard, but I didn’t want to look like I don’t care. There was a knock at the door of my apartment and for a moment I jumped I rushed to my bed, grabbing my phone. There was no text from Sehun, so who could be knocking at my door?
I walked out my bedroom and through the living room till I was at the door. I checked the peephole to see Jang Mi standing there with some items in her hands. She was bouncing slightly, eager for me to open the door. My brows furrowed. Why is she here?
I opened the door and she rushed right in without a word. I closed the door, watching in awe as she scattered things on the small table in my living room. She sighed before turning to look at me with a smile on her face. As she took in my outfit, her smile dropped.
“Y/N, please tell me that’s not what you’re wearing on the date.” She voiced, looking horrified. I looked down at my outfit, not understand what was wrong with it.
“What’s wrong with it?” I asked, looking back up at her. She snickered before shaking her head. She opened the black tote bag that was placed on the table. She pulled out two things. One was an article of clothing while the other was so black velvet heel boots.
My eyes widen and I began to protest, “No way!” I said backing up from her. A small pout made its way onto her lips.
“Y/N, you have to blow him away! Make him fall head over heels for you! You can’t go to the date dressed like that!” She explained. Before I could protest anymore, she walked off to find my iron. As she did whatever she was doing, I walked over to the table where the boots sat.
I want to hear about the time you did Chicago for kids like how and also how mad were their parents because cell block tango exists and I'm laughing so hard
OKAY so I’ve gotten a lot of requests to tell this story (makesbadjokes, @flutecocktail, storybook-souls, to name a few) and I’m about halfway down a bottle of cab sav so there ain’t no time like the present.
Let me kick this off by saying that we didn’t plan to do Chicago for kids. We planned to do a perfectly wholesome kids’ Christmas show, but pretty much nothing in live theatre goes according to plan, and smash bang two hours later we’d had enough scandalous mishaps to require at least PG-13 rating.
Right, so this was the same company I did Peter Panwith, except this time instead of being in the old-ass ghetto-as-fuck falling-to-bits excuse for a theatre, we were in like one of the bigger theatres in our metropolitan area, so we’re talking a house of about 800-1000 people. Now, for those of you who were born before the fucking forties, there’s this godawful kids’ show called Babes in Toyland, which is basically a bunch of nursery rhyme characters fighting an evil genius in order to save Christmas or some shit–to be honest I’ve blocked a lot of it out and this was also like nine years ago and I’m tipsy so cut me some slack, bitches, Jesus.
Sorry, that one got away from me. So anyway in this particular production I’m playing Little Bo Peep and like that alone was humiliating enough but the truly shitty part of playing the world’s fucking worst shepherd (like, bitch you lost your sheep? You had ONE JOB) was the fucking dress I had to wear. I’m pretty sure it was a shower curtain in a former life, but it was made of like weird yellow rayon and lace and it was basically a fucking MASSIVE parachute skirt and this obscenely tight bodice stitched together at the waist. And when I say obscenely tight, I do mean obscenely–the rest of the cast started calling me Little Ho Peep after our first costume parade. I never lived that down but I digress; not important.
Anyway, so me and all the other fairy tale characters–I swear, this shit is like a less clever version of fucking Shrek–are traipsing through the dark forest and we get sleepy and decide to just like lie down on the fucking ground and have a nap, because that’s definitely not going to end badly. So I go to sit down and this goddamn dress balloons out around me until I’m basically taking up like a ten foot diameter of the fucking stage, but I don’t really have time to like collect my skirts before all the other kids lie down around me, and the kid playing Jack-be-Nimble (you guys don’t understand, this show is so fucking stupid) just drops like a rock on top of my skirt and I’m like, okay, whatever, he’ll get off at the top of the next scene and it’ll be fine.
I’m not sure I have ever been so wrong in all my life.
The lights go down, and while another short vignette happens on the apron (that’s the small space between the grand drape and the lip of the stage, congratulations you just got yourself a fucking theatre lesson you did not ask for) we’re all just quietly waiting in the dark for the next scene, where we all get attacked by giant spiders like it’s the fucking Hobbit, and we all have to leap up from the floor and start screaming. You can probably guess what happened.
FLARE, lights up, and l fucking launch myself off the floor. But Jack doesn’t. So I jump up and all his weight is still on my skirt and the whole fucking thing rips the the fuck off. Like, there was this horrible tearing duct tape noise and all of a sudden I’m standing there in the middle of the stage in my underwear and stockings and garters and half my dress is still on the fucking floor and 800+ little kids on field trips are all gasping and goggling at me and I’m just like, Oh holy mother of God. For about half a second it’s dead fucking silence and everyone onstage is staring at me and then Jack fucking scrambles up from the floor grabs my skirt and just like throws it around my waist and holds it there because he doesn’t know what else to fucking do, and I’m as red as the surface of Marsbecause I’m fourteen and I’m fucking mortified.
So after that the spider attack is like considerably less exciting and like some kids are laughing and some are crying and I’m muttering shit like Jesus H. Christ on a unicycle Jack I’m going to suffocate you in your sleep with what’s left of my skirt and finally the scene is over and Jack and I bolt the fuck offstage and I sit on my mostly bare ass on the locking rail while Jack is running around me in circles going holy shit holy shit holy shit I sat on your dress I’m so sorry and I’m like NO FUCKING SHIT DID YOU THINK I HADN’T NOTICED YOU LEAD-ARSED FUCKING BARNACLE.
Mickey opened his eyes, awoken early in the morning by the chatter coming from downstairs, on a Sunday. He sat up and rubbed his neck, sore from sleeping on the floor. He turned his head, and smirked at sleeping Ian, laying on his stomach, his left arm dangling over the side of the bed. He figured he’d take a shower before the rest of the Gallagher clan held it hostage.
Mickey dragged himself into the bathroom, and took off the clothes Ian gave him to wear to sleep. He pulled aside the geographic shower curtain, stepped into the tub, and turned the knob to let the lukewarm water barely flow over his head.
Suddenly the curtain was pulled open from the outside and Mickey instinctively reached to cover his johnson. He rolled his eyes as he saw the red head looking at him, grinning from ear to ear.
“Jesus Christ, Ian! You scared the shit outta me”.
“What'sa matter Mickey? Nothing I haven’t seen before. Over and over,” Ian laughed as Mickey let his hands fall to his sides.
Mickey turned his body toward the shower head, as Ian took off his own clothes and stepped in behind the shorter boy. Mickey looked at Ian out of the corners his eyes, apprehensive to be in the shower with Ian, when his entire family was downstairs.
Mickey began cracking his neck, trying to find some comfort.
“You sore?” Ian asked.
“Yeah, man,” Mickey said, “sleeping on the floor’s a bitch.”
“You could sleep in the bed, with me,” Ian whispered as he got closer to Mickey, so that their bodies were completely touching, and put his hands on his hips.
“Yeah right,” Mickey said, his eyes drifting to the right, in thought.
“Come on,” Ian said as he started massaging Mickey’s tense shoulders, which loosened once he got going. Ian nuzzled his lips at the crook of Mickey’s neck, while Mickey closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip, letting Ian kiss his neck while his strong hands massaged all the knots out his shoulders, before the water turned cold.
So I’ll be at comic con this weekend! Nothing special, I don’t have a table, I’m just going as a regular old nerd amongst nerds. If you see me around, or if you’re cosplaying W2H, feel free to stop and say hi, we can take selfies or something!
I may or may not be wearing a rubber ducky shower curtain hazmat suit one of the days, but the rest of the days I’ll just look like a giant nerd.
Remember that thing where the Agent Carter cast threw down dubsmash challenges against the Agents of SHIELD cast and it was awesome?
Imagine that, but it’s the Samwell Men’s Hockey team vs the other sports teams on campus, including of course the women’s volleyball team (March, April and Farmer do a hilarious version of Wrecking Ball which makes Holster proclaim that Ransom can never break up with March because the Haus would not survive it) and the lax bros, who are devastatingly competitive - their most recent video showed the entire team IN RANSOM AND HOLSTER’S ACTUAL ATTIC mouthing the words to Unchained Melody, while dressed as ghosts.
The Haus is thrown into chaos as our hockey bros argues about what the best song would be to shut down the competition once and for all. None of them can agree, and they’re on the verge of no longer talking to each other at all…
Then a vid is posted to their site from an anonymous source: it shows Jack “celebrity old boy” Zimmermann in a Samwell Hockey shirt, and B. Shitty Knight wearing nothing but a shower curtain, mouthing the words to “Halo.”
The lax bros concede defeat. The volleyball team concedes that if they don’t stop the battle now, they’ll all be too distracted to graduate. Bitty bakes everyone pies that Ransom declares “taste of victory and the tears of our enemies” but mostly taste of maple apple.
Of course, the best part is that the winning dubsmash vid was posted on Valentine’s Day, and only two people (for now) know why that’s significant.
Ethan walked past in the background. KSI rises from the shadows–with him, under his invincibility cloak, is Marcus Butler. Marcus is wearing a superman costume; JJ is wearing his shower curtain. They formed a deadly duo to fight virginity. Their first stop is Calfreezy. Ethan walks past again, drinking a drink.
They’ve landed saying, “Hey! We’re here to help you!” They hold a out a badge that says ‘Virginity Fighters’ on it.
Calfreezy shouts, “I’m busy!” With a purple dildo in his hair.
Harry walks out of Cal’s shower, into his room, and Simon is laying there naked. So, KSI and Marcus follow–Simon is butt-naked on the bed. Ethan walks past again, doing a double take.
Harry checks his phone and says, “Oh no, I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”
Simon’s in a hot sweat and replies, “No Harry, I couldn’t wait.”
KSI and Marcus are here to fight the virginity. JJ snatches the dildo from Cal’s hands and hands it to Harry and says “Do what you need to do.”
Callux enters the house with his shin pads on. Top Man. Ethan walks past. [Callux] grabs Harry’s head and [he] proceeds to enters [his] penis inside his mouth. [Callux] hears shrieks of pain/pleasure from Harry’s room. With a confused look on [his] face, Callux storms into the room. He yanks [the dildo] out and throws it out the window and says, “You got to do this shit properly boys. Get at it.”
Callux grabs the dildo and hands it to KSI and Marcus Butler and says, “This is what you’ve been waiting for. This is your call-to-action.”
KSI and Marcus Butler grasp the dildo and they both rod it into Simon at the same time. KSI grasps the lower shaft, Marcus places his hand at mid-shaft. Together they joined forces–KSButler uses rod…it was super effective. Simon climaxes. Ethan walks past at the wrong time. Unfortunately, Simon’s ejectile enters his mouth flies across the room and lands on and around his mouth.
He then says, “Oh fuck. That’s all folks.”
Check out the animated/uncut version on Callux’s channel HERE.
Please leave a like and subscribe while you’re there if you haven’t already. Tell him I sent you in the comments for bants.