weapons of self destruction

Well, it was a long day. I had to cheer myself up so I grabbed my (dying) graphic tablet.

The quote is from Robin Williams’ stand up from 2009 (Weapons of Self Destruction). Best pickup line EVER! Robin, thanks for putting a smile on my face. The world misses you so badly!

Watch on lrwthelongwind.tumblr.com

Robin Williams - Weapons Of Self Destruction (by mslokater)

LMAOOO. Automated phone menus.

I miss human contact even on the phone for directory assistance it’s like “City and state please”.

Washington D.C.

What would you like?”

Constitution Hall.

Did you say Kennedy Center?

No, Constitution Hall.

Did you say Cogressional Ball?

No!. It starts to become like the miracle worker. Constitution Hall.

Did you say cocksucker?

No I didn’t say cocksucker!

Would you like to talk to a person?

Fuck yes!

If you’d like to talk to a person press one

[He acts like he is dialing on a phone]

Beep!

If you’d like to speak to someone in English press two

Beep!

Are you sure you don’t want to talk to someone in spanish? Press three

Beep!

Press four if you’d like to move to the next menu

Beep!

Press five if you’re getting somewhat irritated

Beep!

Press six if you’re my bitch

Beep!

Press seven. You know you want to

Beep!

Press eight daddy. Do it

Beep!

Press nine!

Beep!

What are the chances of talking to a real person? Zero! press it!

Beep! Beep! Beep! BEEEEEEP!

The hurricanes have been getting bigger and fucking bigger and they usually give them names that don’t really inspire fear. Like “Hurricane Terrence” does not inspire fear. That sounds like a slightly gay hurricane. ‘Where are you going?’. 'I might go to Boca, I might go to South Beach. I don’t know! All I know is… blowing is involved!’.
—  Robin Williams, Weapons of Self Destruction