weapons expert

The Fili Guide to Self Defense

Fili has many interesting weapons on him. He’s a one-dwarf army. 

 Let’s start from the bottom and work our way up…

*The Bootie Axes (that’s Mr. O'Gorman’s naming convention, not mine): Unfortunately we never see these in action. They’re either a last resort or a cool party trick - “Hey guys, check out my bootie axes!”

*The Mystery Midsection: Fili has an assortment of pointy objects hidden on his body, which is why people are reluctant to hug him (see: the BOTFA Erebor reunion). It’s hard to say how many there actually are, and how many those filthy elves stole. 

I…I think he has armpit daggers…

*The Knives: these sexy looking things are sticking out of each arm. They have a royal crest on them (in case he forgets how special he is). Armed to the elbows.

*The Dual Swords: Fili appears to love symmetry; I mean, just look at his facial hair. It makes sense that our ambidextrous hero has not one, but two, sweet signature blades.

*The BIG ONE: Fili’s huge sword. Enough said.

Apparently Fili possesses this sick looking hammer, according to the Hobbit Chronicles books. I don’t recall ever seeing it, but it’s probably hidden somewhere extremely well. 

We also know Fili is very capable with a bow, but he lets Kili take the glory in that department. Here’s a cool looking ax he found in Erebor:

And the final word:

(Sources: The Hobbit Chronicles books, Dean, my Fili knowledge and personal collection)

if you’re struggling with homework, just pretend it’s for starfleet.

biology? no no, xenobiology. for when you’re on the enterprise and you have to examine flora and fauna of newly discovered planets

math? more like super important warp calculations

physics? gotta be like chekov hell yeah

english? no it’s a report for starfleet command

learning a language? channel nyota uhura 

gotta pop open a torpedo im really weapons expert carol marcus

My main gal ocs

Juniper is a crime kingpin operating under the pseudonym ‘the mortician’, she is a gritty realist who is calculated and hates it when things don’t get carried out to her standards. she has a great lack of empathy and only does things for her own benefit.

Viv is a kind optimistic model who absolutely loves life, she is a natural born Adrenalin junkie and always strays from the group when travelling for modelling. she has been modelling professionally since she was 10. she is dating Doe on the down low and often drags her along on her misadventures.

Doe is a cautious, often judgmental model who finds it hard to trust anyone, despite her efforts to put up a wall blocking people out, she truly loves Viv. she has only been modelling for about 2 years but fame came relatively quickly. she and Viv are under the same management and because of their chemistry in and out of shoots, they often travel together. without Viv’s kind encouragement, Doe’s social anxiety would stop her from trying most things.

Angel is a wild card, she often acts before she thinks and doesnt care much for her own safety. she is a weapons expert who works under The Mortician. much to the mortician’s dismay, she often goes off plan, but she will go to extreme lengths to get the job done, making her invaluable. she tries to come off as suave, but the minute you mention something she likes, shell talk your ear off. 

“There’s a scene, late in the movie, with Kate McKinnon, that made me feel like I’ve never felt at a movie before. (No, it wasn’t the vibrating chair talking, this was real.) I should confess: Some of this is personal. My favorite character, in any big action-ensemble movie, is always the demolitions guy: the mad scientist, the weapons expert, the damage-dealer, the one who just wants to see stuff blow up. I say “demolitions guy” because he’s always a guy; they never cast the mad scientist or gun nut as a woman. But in this movie, he’s Kate McKinnon.

So she gets the scene these guys always get, in a movie like this. She has a wonderful new toy. The film slows down. She starts moving, and sure enough, she just starts unleashing raw havoc everywhere.

Something in my chest opened up. This is it, I realized. This is the thing I never got to see before. The scene where the demolitions guy is a girl. I was right: It actually does feel different when it’s a girl. This must be how guys feel every time they watch one of these movies. This is it, the version that’s for me, the scene I always wanted, and it’s here.

I don’t know what that feeling was, or how to describe it. But here’s the best way I can: For all the talk about “childhoods,” I got exactly 30 seconds in that movie where I felt like I was 8 years old again. Except that it was better than being 8 years old. It was like being 8 years old would have been, if the world had been fair.

I didn’t realize the political implications until I was out of the theater. I didn’t realize that this was also an openly queer actress, playing a more-or-less openly queer character (and we could do with more “more” and less “less,” Sony), that it might have hit other people in the audience even harder than it hit me, and for that reason. I didn’t think about anything, except that a woman was getting the same big slo-mo blowing-shit-up scene a million guys have gotten, and that scene is awesome. I’ve always loved that scene. Women aren’t treated as a big boundary-breaking historic symbol of progress and equality, in this movie. They’re treated like people.

And then you go out into the real world, where thousands of people are trying to hurt Leslie Jones on Twitter, and everyone hates Ghostbusters again. The same world you went into Ghostbusters to escape. But you can escape it, for a little while, in that theater. There’s a reason we need movies like these, after all.”

– Sady Doyle, These Times

I was nervous, understandably. Humans had a remarkable, fearsome reputation. First contact with the human race had been when the Shianb research colony had selected a familial unit for study and the genetic-mother had torn her thumb from it’s socket in order to escape a binding, strangled a Shianb scientist guard with her bare hands, and violently killed any Shianb that had tried to stop her until she had retrieved her young and mate and then piloted the ship colony back to her home planet. It was a terror inspiring event, but one that was quickly shown to not be unusual. As we figured out how to speak and deal with the human’s peacefully, the InterSystemAlliance had adopted a human phrase directly into the ‘Language, Physiology, and Behavior of Inter Stellar Species Data Collection’: Don’t fuck with humans. Which oddly enough had a completely different meaning to the phrase “don’t fuck humans”.

Hirriib linguists were practically oozing excitement pheromones over the flexibility of the word ‘fuck’.

But I had managed to hire a pair of humans to my ship. Genetic-siblings they were, which ensured previously established pack bonds which were essential to human health, and one was a scientist as well as a weapons expert, a dual specialization common among humans. They were boarding today and I was excited and nervous, my cranial ingota flashing despite my efforts to keep myself under control.

With a trill of the automated doors opening, the humans stepped into the meeting room. They were tall, one ducking through the doorway and the other a length of their skulls shorter. The tall one had their dark cranial hair shorn off and was wearing a loose fitting torso covering with the words #redinstead written on it. Their eyes flitted around the room, never once looking at me directly while their hands made a rhythmic flapping gesture that seemed quite similar to my own habit of contracting my spinal spikes to soothe myself. That must be Danyell Jimson, the scientist and weapons expert. The shorter one had to be Damon Jimson, the hand to hand combat expert. He had impressive cranial hair that stood out from his head in dark, tight curls and pieces of metal inserted through the flesh of his brow hair and the cartilage of his ears in a display of fierceness. He was also wearing a torso covering that proclaimed #redinstead. I would have to query what that phrase meant and log it. He stepped forward and held his hand out in the traditional human greeting of ‘not immediately aggressive’ and clasped my paw gently which meant he was friendly. I held my paw out to the taller one, Danyell Jimson, but Damon Jimson held a large hand out to stop me.

“Don’t touch them.”

My ingota flashed with confusion and anger. “You are isolating them? Human’s require contact to strengthen pack bonds! That is cruel!”

Damon Jimson shook his head, a visual negative cue. “No, not all humans are comfortable with physical contact.”

Danyell Jimson was staring at my ingota and made several gestures with their hands that I was not familiar with.

“They want to know why your crest is changing colors.”

“It is my ingota. It is a visual communication of my emotions. How did they communicate with you? I was told that humans are not telepathic and do not communicate outside of my species’ auditory range?” I was flashing confusion again and Danyell Jimson was staring at my ingota with the hyper focus of a predator. I contracted my spinal spikes.

“It’s sign language, their hands are making words. It’s a visual communication language. Danyell doesn’t communicate verbally.”

“Amazing!” I blurted out, broadcasting awe and fascination. I had been unaware that humans communicated nonverbally beyond simple body language. The only other species besides my own with a form of visual communication beyond basic body language within the contacted solar systems was humans! I couldn’t suppress a flash of giddiness at the thought that my species held a similarity to the intimidating humans.

Danyell Jimson spoke with their hands again and Damon Jimson bared his teeth in a amused/friendly/pleased visual cue. “They said they’ll teach you ASL if you teach them what your crest colors mean.”

My ingota lit up with excitement. “This is excitement. I would be most interested in exchanging non verbal language knowledge with you, Danyell Jimson.”

Danyell Jimson tapped rapidly on their handheld device and held it to their head with the excitement color emanating from the screen, making a gesture with their other hand, a clenched hand with the ‘thumb’ pointing up, a visual cue for approval/excitement/agreement.

I mimicked the gesture with my paw, extending my prehensile dew claw in lieu of a thumb. I could tell that I would greatly enjoy developing a pack bond with Danyell.

anonymous asked:

//whispering let it get out of hand

(referencing this post)


SEE MICHAEL ISN’T ACTUALLY A SPY!! i like to think he was recruited as a handler after hacking into university files and erasing student loans. he became a bit of a name on the deep web, successfully stealing shitloads of money and distributing it cleverly over various charities, never getting caught. well. almost. 

director Jenna Rolan basically breaks into his shitty apartment flanked by two scary looking beautiful individuals (aka agents Jake and Brooke). apparently he’s been put on a hitlist for being a high profile goodie goodie, and she offers him protection on the condition that he start working for them. Michael, not in the mood to die and kinda in the mood to being an awesome Q, accepts.

so he gets accepted under the handler division of the organization led by Chloe, and he does incredible work alongside other fellow handler Rich and weapons expert/lead equipment engineer Christine. he does a fantastic job yelling in brooke and jake’s ears about what to do while simultaneously hacking into cctv cameras and encrypted connections to keep his agents alive. no, michael didnt expect that hed end up with this job, but he helps put the bad guys behind bars and he does his job WELL.

ENTER JEREMY HEERE. the only son of a wealthy but evil woman looking to sell state secrets/nuclear launch codes/[insert evil thing] to the highest bidder.  suspecting that jeremy might have important intel, they convene at a dinner/auction/[insert thing rich people go to in spy movies]. michael is in a van outside with at least eight screens while brooke and jake are decked out in fancy clothes, shmoozing their way through rich people, until finally, they find jeremy.

it’s a classic honeypot maneuver, simple and straight to the point. or so they thought, because Brooke goes in for the kill only to get stammers and apologies. prepared for this possibility, they send in Jake who michael would gladly sleep with if rich wouldnt kill him, but Jake is turned down.

(“Think he’s ace? Does he ping on your acedar?” Michael asks Christine as he frantically hacks into CCTV, keeping an eye on Jeremy while Brooke and Jake figure out another gameplan.

“Acedar?” Christine says, unimpressed. “He could be. But, do you want my honest, professional opinion?”

“Go for it, Chris,” Chloe says, also on the line. “If we lose him tonight, that’s another month of nothing. Any opinions at this point are essential.”

“He seems–nervous,” Christine says. On Michael’s screen, he sees Jeremy by an extravagant potted plant downing flutes of champagne like it’s nobody’s business. “You know how Brooke and Jake are beautiful but a little intimidating? Yeah. I think he’s nervous.”

“We need this intel now,” Jenna sighs. “Do we have any beautiful, non intimidating agents who can take one for the team?” 

“I have–” Rich says. “An Idea.”)

which ends with Michael in a suit (”Why do we have this?? Why is it perfectly my size??” “You’re the one who always says to have at least seventy backup plans, M.”) tailing after Jeremy at a party thats more expensive than all the money Michael has stolen over the course of his life.

i dont want to go too much into this because then thatd mean id have to just buck up and write a fic, but by the time michael gets to jeremy, the poor kid is hammered. and a crying a little bit. they end up sitting on the floor of this fancy fancy bathroom while jeremy maybe pours his soul out to michael about how this always happens. he Knew brooke and jake were spies because this always happens. it’s always beautiful people who want to sleep with him not because he’s anything, but because his mom is gonna destroy the world. and he’s totally up for thwarting his mom!!! but his self esteem is just shit tonight and he couldnt take it and oh god, michael, im a bad person. im a bad person and i dont matter, really, and nobody would care at all. nobody.

(“Hey,” Michael says. His heart is breaking because Jeremy seems like an great guy stuck in a horrible life. “I’ve only known you for three hours, not including where I pulled up your entire existence from everything you’ve ever done on the internet, but. But I think you’re a good person. I care.”

“No you don’t,” Jeremy sniffles, head pillowed against Michael’s shoulder as he takes a swig from a bottle of champagne, though his nose wrinkles when he remembers that Michael had emptied it and replaced it with water. “You just want the intel. Which, you know what,” he fishes something out of his pocket. A USB. “Here. Take it. It’s what you guys are looking for and more. I’ve been compiling a record of every transaction my mother has made in the past year. Put her away, for fuck’s sake.”

“Shit,” Michael says. Everybody in his earpiece also says it. “Jeremy. Thank you.”

“Whatever,” he grumbles. “Time for you to go now. Go and save the world. Bye, bye.”

“Fuck that, do you have a phone?”)

and thus begins the friendship between jeremy and michael. so much more happens after this, but if i think about THAT. this will get so out of hand im going to need eight hands.

Sam Wilson Bio

Originally posted by havemanymonkeys

Full Name: Samuel Thomas Wilson

Early Life: Sam’s father was a minister who was killed when he was 9 (in some versions of his story it’s 16) when he tried to break up a fight then a few years later his mother was killed by a mugger while she tried to protect him. After their deaths Sam tried to stay on the straight and narrow but he eventually became involved in some criminal activity including working for the mob. After the military, as we know, he went to work for the VA (Veterans Affairs) where he helped other former soldiers cope with their PTSD but what the MCU doesn’t mention is that he also worked as a social worker and at one point tried to run for office in Congress.

How He Got His Powers: Now as we know so far in the MCU Sam does not have powers but originally Sam had the ability to communicate with birds. During his childhood he always had an affinity for birds and actually trained pigeons and had the largest pigeon coop in Harlem. It wasn’t until he became a pilot that he actually developed his powers. While on a mission Sam crashed his plane into a Caribbean Island where he met Cap and his trusted falcon sidekick Red Wing (a falcon). He was captured by Red Skull while on the island and was used as bait for Cap. While he was captured Red Skull used the Cosmic Cube on him and it actually caused his consciousness to fuse with Red Wing’s creating a super-natural mental link between them. Over time Sam was able to harness and train his powers so that he was able to communicate with all birds. Later on T’Challa is actually the one who creates the harness that gives Sam the ability to fly.

Powers: telepathic link to birds, including being able to see through their eyes

Other Abilities: trained in hand-to-hand combat, expert aviator, weapons proficiency, expert marksman, expert tactician, master pilot

Fun Facts:

Michael B. Jordan also read for the part of Sam

It takes Anthony almost 30 minutes to put the Falcon Wings on

Sam is the uncle of Jim Wilson who becomes the Incredible Hulk

Mackie actually also works with Veterans with PTSD

Sam has made Tony and Steve repeat praises to him so he could make them his ringtone

In most versions Sam rivals Tony in intelligence and is considered a genius in tactical planning and preparations and is said to have contingency plans for if any of his teammates ever turn evil or succumb to mind control

While he was involved with the mob he went by the name Snap Wilson

Sam was the first African-American superhero

After Sam was announced as the new Captain America, Stephen Colbert briefly (one issue) took over the mantel of Falcon

In the most recent comics of him as Cap, he has a relationship with Misty Knight

Personality Traits: level headed, has a sense of duty, fights for what he believes in, loyal, can occasionally lose focus when impressed by something, anxious, eager to please, cocky at times

For My Health

Originally posted by a-gent-galahad

Eggsy Unwin x WheelchairBound!Reader

Length: 791 words

Warnings: brief description of gore, reader is in a wheelchair, soft protective Eggsy, (I don’t think I gave the reader a gender?)

Requested by @itswhatislife321

You had been in the wheelchair, ever since you were involved in a particularly bad mission accident, during your first year as a Kingsman agent.

Said incident occurred when you had been sent off with a small team, all tasked with infiltrating a small congregation of for-hire mercenaries, who hid deep within the desert planes of the Middle East. You, and three other long-time members of Kingsmen, had been parachuting into the mission’s location, only to find out that the enemy was lying in wait. The gunfire that followed was incredibly hard to navigate, and the parachutes soon began to look more like swiss-cheese than devices used for travel. Unfortunately for you, your parachute was rendered completely useless very quickly, letting you plummet to the earth at a speed too fast for you to comprehend. You’d landed badly to say the least. You’d been in the wheelchair since.

So, after a long period of recovery and plenty of adjustment, you were back at work – only this time, you were working in department which developed weapons, as well as helping Merlin with his duties on occasion. Supposedly, this job was not as action-packed as the previous one… But, there were days when the two were about the same, on the danger-level.

Today had definitely been one of those days.

Yourself, a few weapons’ experts, an engineer and Merlin had all been together, slaving away at an important project for hours on end. The experiment was a small camera/recorder, which was theoretically going to have other capabilities too. One design of the cameras were to have some sort of spraying facet, which would unleash knock-out gas when triggered remotely – this option was a bust due to the lack of space within the device. Others were to work as a tracking device – this worked fairly well, up to ten kilometres (a larger module was needed for further tracking). And one type, well, it was supposed to be capable of creating a small explosion… As it turned out, it was a rather large explosion instead.

The experiment was held behind closed doors (none of you had felt the blast-proof room to be necessary, as it was to be a miniscule bomb). However, the explosion was too big and the glass of the doors had blown out. You were pushed back into the wall; your chair being rolled back by the force of the bang.

Twenty minutes later you were sitting at the desk in your office, carefully detailing where you had gone wrong in the prototype. “Hmm, perhaps we have to use an even smaller cartridge?” Chewing on the end of your pencil, you pushed away some papers. “Ah!” There was a small cut on your palm that had been giving you grief for almost half-an-hour now. “Dammit.”

“Y/N!” The shout sounded like your boyfriend Eggsy Unwin, who had just been sent off to assassinate a hired-gunman. Eggsy rushed into the room, managing to look more dishevelled than you’d ever seen him in your life. His hair was ruffled (disrupting the gel he’d put in it before he’d left), and he wasn’t wearing shoes that matched. Honestly, he looked as if he’d hurried down to your office, perhaps going faster than Usain Bolt in the process. “Love, are you,” He paused to clamber over to you, stumbling over boxes filled with paperwork, “Are you alright?” Eggsy got as close to you as he possibly could, almost sitting himself onto your lap.

You let out a laugh, amused by his concern (but secretly very touched by his naturally caring nature). “Eggsy, I’m perfectly fine!” The weary look he sent you said he didn’t believe you. “Okay, so there’s a small cut on my hand! But that’s it, I swear!” You smiled up at him, him being a head taller than you, even as he sat on your lap. “I’m alright, my love.” You gently touched his cheek with your un-injured hand, and leaned in to press a soft kiss onto his lips.

You physically felt Eggsy’s sigh of relief, the warm puff of air hitting your lips. “Okay, as long as you’re fine, love.” Now that he had all the information he needed, Eggsy let himself relax into your body, pressing his forehead to your shoulder as he let go of his stress. For a moment, it was blissful silence, where the two of you simply sat in each other’s company. Eventually though, Eggsy’s naturally cheeky side flared up, “You know, if you’re tense at all, from the explosion… Maybe we could head home early? You know, for the sake of your health, love.”

Your lips curled into a smirk, enjoying your boyfriend’s train of thought, “Perhaps we should, anyway?… You know, for my health.”


@itswhatislife321, @iamwarrenspeace, @stilesloverdaily, @itsnotnormalteen

Hetalia Spy au

What if the Hetalia characters were spies? I thought about the idea of them being a team of spies, this is what I think they’d be like

Germany: The team dad. He’s experienced and he’s scary. That comes in handy. Everyone respects him and he keeps the team together. He’s strict but fair and has a past he refuses to talk about.

Italy: The Psychologist. He tends to connect with people better and while less talented in the fighting area, he knows how to get into someone’s head and speak to them on a whole different level.

Japan: The stealth master. No one can sneak in and out of a building undetected as well as him. He’s fast, efficient and a master of stealth.

England: The puzzle solver. He knows how to look at a crime scene and pick out clues like no one else. Almost like Sherlock, you put him on a case and he won’t stop until it’s solved.

America: The weapons expert. He knows everything about pretty much every type of gun and its admittedly, a little trigger happy. He’s reliable and a lot smarter than he lets on.

Russia: The criminal. Before becoming a spy he was a criminal. He knows how to put himself in the shoes of a criminal and figures out their actions through what he would do.

Canada: Computers expert. He can hack any gadget, bomb, you name it. He’s not as great with talking to people, but coding is his language.

China: This guy has connections all over the world. Need a guy, he knows them. Whenever someone asks how he did something, he replies with “I know a guy”

Romano: Forensics expert. He knows everything about the human body. He’s an expert with dna and fingerprints. Nothing gets past him.

France: The undercover expert. He’s great at extracting information and fits in to any situation you throw him in. He’s a natural actor and knows how to blend in when he wants, and have people trust him when he wants.

Spain: The improviser. He’s great on his feet and can pretty much get himself out of any situation.

Prussia: The dare devil. His talent is that he’s willing to do anything. He’s a risk taker and while he’s not the best at thinking ahead, he’s incredibly loyal.

Under the Mistletoe

Paring: Eggsy Unwin/Reader

Tags: female reader, secretary reader, Christmas, Christmas parties, mistletoe, first kiss, fluff

Summary: Reader is a Veteran of the annual Christmas party at Kingsman headquarters; a night where the very formal men and women come together to celebrate the holidays, drink and be merry. Reader, however, as Eggsy’s secretary, finds this night an extra duty has been thrust onto her quite on the spot when the both of them arrive under the mistletoe.

Word Count: 1,284

Posting Date:  2016-12-07

Current Date: 2017-05-31

Originally posted by fiveguysfiction

Keep reading

So this had been a headcanon staple of mine for ages but, FAHC Dan and the Crew yes? Because it’s some good shit, Gavin and Dan together again, another weapons expert/hitman at the crew’s disposal yes? And the crew get along just fine with Dan yes? Right?

Fuck no. Michael is and always has been a jealous idiot, about Lindsay, Gavin, Meg, even before they were all dating but now? This guy that Gavin absolutely adores, who knows Gavin as well if not better than Michael does, this guy who’s talents range from guns to cars to explosives, to Michael’s thing, Michael’s area of expertise, Michael hates Dan. Dan doesnt like Michael either I mean Michael is openly hostile to Dan and at first Dan kinda thinks he’s like this with everyone and asks Gav why he’s dating that dickhead and Michael damn near blows a gasket, and then Dan learns it’s because he’s jealous and gets defensive and then they both actively just don’t like each other. They play act just dandy when Gavin, who’s so far down the ‘Dan’s back and alive and here with me and he’s ok and my B is back’ rabbithole that he does not (yet) notice the strife between his boyfriend and best friend

And so Michael and Dan constant trying to one-up each other, getting on each others shit like
Random Thug: one more step Jones and the limey gets a bullet in his head
Michael: just one?
Dan: fuck you Jones
Michael: yeah ok, anyway bye Dan, ive got more important shit to be doing, GAVIN MY BOI ARE YOU IN THERE?
Dan: are you gonna damn help me?
Michael: I wasn’t planning on it no.
Dan: You’re a cunt you know that
Michael: eh, I try, GAV, BOI-

Random thug #2: i’ve got your friend limey, stand down!
Dan: friend?
Michael: damn straight he’s not right. ugh, fuck you for making me agree with you dan.
Dan: right, anyway *sits*
Dan: continue. 
Michael: i’m gonna slit your throat and tell Gavin it was a freak accident
Dan: can’t do that if youve been shot in the head. please sir, continue,

Michael: ‘oh hey Gavin,’ i’ll say, ‘yeah boi its the darnedest thing, Dan just up and died. just stabbed himself like eight or nine, ten, twelve times in the face. so strange.’ I’ll say
Dan: if you’re as shit with a knife as you are everything else I wont have much to fear, will i?
Michael: ‘Fifteen, twenty times,’ I’ll say ;carved his own damn eyes out man, dan’s such a weird fucking bastard, i have no idea why you hang out with him’ and then i’ll set your room on fire to really sell it

Dan: you’re doing that wrong
Michael: no I’m fucking not Dan I’ve been doing this eplosioves shit for fucking years you horse’s ass
Dan: oh really, and how did you learn this ‘explosives shit’ eh? 
Michael: I’m self-taught jackass
Dan: and I learned in the military and you, are doing that wrong
Michael: I fucking hate you

Dan: you were supposed to shoot that guy
Michael: oh really Dan? Really? Are you sure because if I’m not goddamn mistaken I was about to get fucking shanked to death
Dan: oh quit your bloody whinging, if you’d shot that guy you could have taken this other twat out before you got ‘shanked to death’.

Gavin: you two came for me!
Michael: I did! I did, all by myself. Dan didn’t help worth a damn.
Dan: Bullshit, Michael spent the whole ride here crying in the backseat
Michael: because I love and missed you boi, I was emotional
Dan: oh is that right, and I could have sworn it was because of your crippling inadequacy compared to me. That or the fact that you have no idea what a proper explosive rig looks like
Michael: mmmmm fuck you dAN

They spend all their time digging st each other until Gavin walks in the room and spend the rest of their time squabbling for Gavin’s affections. Michael makes up for Dan having known Gavin longer and all their inside jokes and their closeness by lots and lots of physical affection. He stands there kissing Gav staring Dan dead in the eye. Dan responds by buying Gav a new phantom, and grinning at Michael while Gav coos excitedly over it.

Them working together is usually only for Gavin’s sake and is never any modicum of friendly without Gav there like, their one common interest that they won’t immediately fight about, for his affections sure but not him, is Gavin. Their one common goal being his health and happiness. Gav gets hurt? Send Dan and Michael out and Gav will be carted back to the penthouse in record, tossed in the hospital where he will stay until Caleb clears him, no ifs, ands or buts. Gav gets kidnapped? Gavin’s rescued a day or less later and an entire swath of gangs in that sector of the city get taken out. Gavin’s been up for 5 days trying to get into some database? Dan and Michael bully Gav into sleeping, a feat more impressive than anything else.  Dan senses something wrong with Gav, emotionally, physcially, Michael confronts Gav about it. If Gav lies his way past Michael, Dan’s there to pick up the slack. Just, Dan and Michael’s the ‘we ‘share’ a loved one but also fuck you’ guys

Hope you all don’t mind Gravity Falls Naruto AU cause I felt the need to draw Stan again :D to figure out things

@pomrania I don’t think we talked about what Stan would be about but I think it should be him being a weapons expert. Mostly close combat, throws people off that a high rank wasn’t using justu.


Silver & Fletcher 1886 Patent “the Expert” revolver

Designed by Hugh A. Silver and Walter Fletcher c.1880′s, from a Webley RIC No1 New Model revolver - serial number 84335.
.455/476 Enfield six-round cylinder, double action, Silver and Fletcher hammer safety - it retracts the firing pin, Silver and Fletcher extracting system apparently located on the right side of the frame, in line with the bottom right chamber of the cylinder.

The Silver and Fletcher extracting system could be used in one of two ways, as described by their original American patent pictured below. The first one was to fire with the loading gate fully open, which although not ergonomic allowed spent rounds to be ejected after each shot. The second one was to fire with a closed loading gate, only afterward opening it and squeezing the trigger another six times to eject all spent rounds.
Engaging the system by opening the loading gate lifted the case’s rim out of the cylinder with each pull of the hammer.

sarcasmandfoxes  asked:

What roles do you think the 104th and vets have in a zombie apocalypse? (like who would lead them, be in charge of getting food and stuff like that) Who do you think would survive?

Because everything is more fun with pictures: 

Leader: Erwin // Brawler: Mikasa // Weapons Expert: Sasha // Supplies: Historia // Craftman: Ymir // Brains: Armin // Medic: Hanji // Car Guy: Mike // Mascot: Bertholdt // Wonders what’s happening: Connie // First to die: Marco // Bad things happen but remains alive: Eren // Bites Zombies: Reiner