There has been a post going around how we always prepare for the future but it never covered how we can turn the What If? question against ourselves. This question can spawn massive guilt in the questioner because they could ask themselves constantly, What if I went to say goodbye? Would they still be alive?, What if I had been more forceful in finding out what was wrong? Would they not be in the hospital? Our What If? can be a great asset out in the field, but it can also become our worst enemy after an accident where we weren’t ready.
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Sunday Oct 1st 3pm EST aka 9pm CET
A link will be posted on each of our blogs Ten Minutes before the airtime and the show will stay on youtube after. If you wanna watch the show off air there is now a page on my blog dedicated to the show.
I was a rose blooming on a summer day,
you were the cold rain on October
I thank the sun for shining on me
but I guess I love the cold rain more,
like when a foreign man found an oasis
in the middle of the desert;
that is what you are to me: an oasis.
I was a rose blooming on a summer day,
you were the cold rain on October
But no matter how much I want to be with you,
time won’t stop
it is busy chasing something
we know as the apocalypse
(Time, why won’t you stop for a while?
we are not ready to be doomed anyway!)
The sun is still shining,
I will stay,
you will come again,
I had a dream that I was back in high school. Roaming the halls in my cheer uniform. I guess there was a big game that night and we were getting ready. Everything was going fine, all our routines were on point, and the guys were winning. As per usual we were doing our pyramid and just as I got to the top I realized I was completely naked but no one said or reacted. But here I was, in my birthday suit completely mortified. I would try to get down but no one would let me and told me I had to continue the routine. I don’t really know what this dream means but it was weird. On a random side note: I found my uniform and tried it on… still fits good.
This happened a few years ago. You may have heard rumors if you’re on campus. Some even circulated online. Nobody knew what really happened. Because I’m the only one who knows and I kept quiet. For a multitude of reasons. None of them matter now. Here’s what really happened.
The four of us were handpicked for this experiment by Prof. Richardson because we’d all studied under him, worked under him, and, as much as anyone can, earned his confidence.
He said this one was different. We had to keep it quiet. He wanted to keep details to a minimum. All he would tell us before going in was that he required a month of our lives and that if he succeeded sleep would never again be a necessity.
I spend my nights wondering if you’ll ever come back to me.
Maybe, just maybe we weren’t ready for each other yet. Maybe we need to grow, maybe we need to see the world and know that we can be happy alone. Then one day when we have lived, loved and survived our paths will cross again. Maybe then, we will be ready.
Two weeks. They had only been together for two weeks before people had found out.
Draco paused before the entrance to the Great Hall and
pressed his forehead against the cool stone wall. He could do this. So everyone
knew that he was dating Harry Potter. So what? He had ignored the sneers when
he had returned to Hogwarts for his 8th year, he had suffered
through the occasional hex and had pointedly ignored any waspish comments that
had floated his way. Somehow, he had endured all of this with his chin up and a
disinterested look on his face.
He straightened determinedly, took a deep breath and walked
in. Keeping his eyes on the wall above the Slytherin table, he still couldn’t
miss how the noise of people chattering tapered off. Undeterred, he marched on.
Pansy and Blaise, who had their heads close together in conversation, looked
up. They glanced quickly at one another and then slid apart making space for
Draco. He didn’t let the relief show on his face. Pansy was smart enough to
wait until he was settled in and had filled his plate before asking, “Really,
Draco? You didn’t think to tell us before we found out from a shrieking
Draco huffed out a sigh. “Of course I did. When we were
ready you were the first people I was going to tell. It’s not my fault Weasley
and Granger had the same idea we did and happened upon our broom closet.”
After giving him a searching look Pansy nodded, satisfied. She
leaned in and whispered, “Tell us how it happened.”
Sneering, Draco was about to tell her to mind her own
business when a hand fell on the back of his neck. He turned and found himself
mouth to mouth with Harry. Whistles and cheers, and a few other less pleasant
sounds, rose from around them. Panic rose thickly up his throat. He used both
hands to shove Harry off of him. “What are you doing, Potter?” he whispered
Harry was looking rather taken aback and more than a little
confused. He glanced at the surrounding Slytherins who were all watching with
interest. Clearing his throat he answered, “I came to say good morning. I
thought that since everyone knows..” He trailed off. The uncertainty in his
bright green eyes made Draco uneasy, but he couldn’t ignore the panic he felt
or the blush blooming on his cheeks.
“So because they know we are seeing each other it’s alright
for you to maul me in front of everyone?” Draco asked.
A hint of amusement lit in Harry’s eyes. “Maul? Really, Draco.
By now you should be able to tell the difference between a chaste kiss and when
I’m trying to maul you.”
There were snickers around the table and a delighted laugh
from Pansy. She moved over and patted the seat between her and Draco. “Potter, please
do sit and tell us more.”
Draco made a choking noise. “I think that’s rather too much already.
Potter, why are you sitting down?”
Harry reached for some toast and buttered it. “I’m having
breakfast with my boyfriend.” He looked around at the many Slytherins still
staring at him. He tilted his head to the side and added, “And all of Slytherin
apparently.” More snickers.
This was too much. Far too much. And when Harry extended his
hand for Draco to take a bite of his toast, he couldn’t believe it. He looked
down at the toast and up at Harry again. Harry raised an eyebrow. “I am not
eating toast from your hand, Potter!” Draco sneered.
Harry sighed, put the toast down and turned to face him. “What’s
Draco huffed and looked down at his untouched plate. “Nothing.”
“Are you sure? Is it because I mentioned mauling and didn’t follow
through? Because tonight-”
Horrified, Draco could do nothing but cover his eyes with a
hand and weakly say, “Harry..”
Which, thankfully, was enough to shut him up.
With a sigh, Pansy offered. “Purebloods aren’t very
affectionate in public, Potter. Or possibly at all, I really couldn’t say for
sure since I don’t think I have even seen my parents kiss.”
There was a drawn out silence and Draco couldn’t take it
anymore. He lowered his hand to find Harry was staring at Pansy in shock. He
looked at Draco and quickly shuttered his expression. “Right. Sorry. I guess we
didn’t really have time to prepare for this.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll just
go back to the Gryffindor table.”
“No!” Draco said. “I don’t want you to leave. Just.. behave?” He smiled tentatively
and was relieved when Harry grinned at him before he resumed eating.
One month later.
Harry watched Draco roll his eyes at Ron. They were sitting
in the Three Broomsticks on a Saturday night with Ron, Hermione, Pansy and
Blaise. Looking back at the past month, Harry couldn’t believe how smoothly it
had gone and how well everyone was getting on. After that first awful morning
when he had kissed Draco in the Great Hall, Harry had learned to keep his hands
to himself when they weren’t alone. He was enormously relieved to find out that
Draco still wanted to spend as much time as possible together in and out of
their rooms. He was not embarrassed that people knew that they were together; he
just did not want people to see them being intimate.
Something that Harry, several times a day, thought was a
great pity. In fact, he was thinking it right this very second as he watched
his beautiful boyfriend smirk at Hermione and that now familiar feeling rushed
through him and all he wanted to do was kiss those smirking lips. Draco glanced
at him and he must have had a dopey smile on his face because he saw the smirk
fall away as Draco gave a soft smile meant just for him. The feeling grew along
with Harry’s smile and he knew he should tell Draco that he loved him soon.
“Harry, Mrs Weasley wants to know if you’ll be having
Christmas with us at the Burrow. She says she asked Ron to ask you ages ago,
but we both figured he hadn’t said anything yet.” Hermione said, eyeing Ron who
was sheepishly avoiding her gaze.
Harry laughed and quickly looked at Draco who was watching
him carefully. Turning back to Hermione he answered, “I haven’t actually
thought about Christmas yet. I’ll be sure to let you know my plans soon.” There
was warmth and pressure on the side of his leg as Draco scooted closer to him on
the bench. Harry glanced up but Draco was focused on the Butterbeer that he was
The conversation continued and Harry was laughing at Pansy’s
impression of Filch when he felt warm fingers on his wrist. He looked down at his
lap underneath the table and saw Draco’s pale hand flip over his own and intertwine
their fingers. Looking up, he found Draco engaged in a potions conversation
with Hermione. The only proof he had that Draco’s hand hadn’t acted of its own
volition was the pink staining Draco’s cheeks. He recovered rather slowly but
managed to rip his eyes away from Draco and look around the table to see if
anyone else had noticed. They hadn’t. Nobody questioned the big goofy grin that
stole across his features when Draco squeezed his hand either. He risked
another glance at Draco and their eyes met. Draco’s cheeks were becoming pinker
and he rolled his eyes at Harry, but Harry still saw the quirk of his lips.
“Wait,” Pansy interrupted them loudly. “Are you two holding
hands under the table?”
Harry’s smile vanished and he made to let go of Draco’s
hand, but Draco held on.
“Yes, Pansy. We are holding hands. So what?” He drawled.
“No, I don’t mean it like it’s a bad thing, Draco. I was
just surprised. What made you change your mind?” she asked.
Harry was also particularly interested in this answer. He
watched as Draco’s blush deepened. “Well, I thought about it and I don’t really
understand why purebloods are so opposed to showing affection. The only thing I
could think of was that a lot of the marriages are arranged, so maybe there was
no affection there.”
Hermione was smiling and nodding at Draco while Pansy looked
pensive. Blaise on the other hand, was grinning slyly. “So, Draco.” He started.
”You finally decided there was nothing wrong with showing the world that you’re
Everyone was silent, so Harry could clearly hear his heart
thumping in his chest. He watched as Draco chewed on his bottom lip, face
aflame. Slowly he turned to Harry, his grey eyes cautious but full. “Yes,” he
cleared his throat. “I did.”
And finally, Harry got to kiss his boyfriend in front of
other people. And he did. Thoroughly. Even when their friends started to laugh
and groan. Draco was laughing against his mouth when he pulled away and said, “Thank
Merlin, because I have a lot to show.”