Here Lies the Rat Lord

Context: After months of nagging my friends, we finally play a new session of D&D, 5th edition, where I roll a stupidly strong character, a mountain dwarf with a homebrew barbarian/monk class (20 Str and 18 Con right out of the bat). We’re just starting Curse of Strahd, all level one characters, and we just got a swarm of rats as a random encounter.

NG Dwarf (Me): “Step aside, you weaklings, I’ll handle this,” I brag to the CN sorcerer and CN rogue.

I proceed to roll a 1, fall flat on my face, the rats roll 20, I take exactly half my health in damage (DM uses double-damage crits) and I start my death save roll.

CN Rogue: “Dibs on his treasure,” without missing a beat.

After two turns of an easy fight against the swarm of rats, the Sorcerer and the Rogue try to help me, failing their Medicine checks and I roll a 1 again, after a success and a fail. They carve my tombstone from a rock using my Mason’s Tools: “Here lies Braun Stonecuter, the Rat Lord”.

anonymous asked:

in recent pics she hasn't been wearing the necklace

A video was taken here in LA yesterday and she was wearing it so…whatever tho. Everyone has a type and I guess hers is “fuckboy”. Gotta let her live. 

a letter to gotham city

I had this lying around since like April and only decided to finally finish it now because I’m lazy and focusing is hard. Anyway, this is a very messy, drabble-y and overly dramatic and emo letter from a regular citizen of Gotham to the city they don’t want to have to call home:

Oh Gotham, you city of broken dreams. City of sidewalks soaked with more than rain, of steel skies that never clear, of gruesome stone statues on the sides of buildings and rusted iron down dank alleys. You treacherous, back-stabbing snake, you. How you terrify me; how I loathe you.

Keep reading


|Addicted15| Day 7: Character[s] you relate to— Rose and Lily
Rose: So like Rose Calloway Cobalt I come across very cold, and unfriendly. I also don’t give the best hugs, I go for the stiff three pats and let go. I’m not overtly affectionate. I tend to be very irrational. Like Hella irrational. I am a hardcore feminist, and I believe we need to protect all the young impressionable girls from rat-snakes, and all other inferior species. Im also terribly independent like Rose. its hard for me to ask for help, but not really for Pride. I was just raised to deal with my shit. I love crossword puzzles, and words, especially quotes. Half of the words I say and think are quotes. I love strong women, and I aspire to be a strong woman, because girls are fucking magical. I tend to lean toward conceited because I believe in myself, and I don’t take the opinions of sheep to heart when I’m a fucking lion. I am superstitious, like really superstitious, I give Rose a run for her money almost. I wear my lipstick and eyeliner like war paint, and I love wearing eyeliner and lipstick and I wear it for me not anyone else. I also love foreign languages. Spanish would be my foreign language choice though, being Hispanic and all. Also Ravenclaw pride.
Lily: Okay again like Lily and Rose I tend to be Hella Irrational™. I’m also Hella Awkward™. It’s fucking great. I’ve also been know to mentally check out. Which is pretty terrible when I do it in class. I also overthink WAAAAY to often, it’s a real hazard when I take a level 1 situation and make it a level 💯 (100 emoji). Im also very inclined to do nothing, I like sleep or just staying in bed. I don’t do the exercise thing, I also have some very bad habits that feed into my anxiety and I tend to be very one track minded when I do things, it can be school work, reading, anything. I do it for hours and I forget to eat, sleep, pee. Bad habit. ive been through some shit that made me who I am and if its ofr better or for worse i dont know its all i got though. I’m also very soft. I’m kind, shy, but I believe there’s strength in that. I also have issues being confident in things, like Lily and not letting Shame overrule my choices. Also sometimes I care too much what other people think even thought they haven’t given an opinion. I’m a Fangirl. I ship, I love, and I die. I’m trash for so much and I put waaaayy to much in Raisy. #RaisyIsAlive. I believe there’s magic in the world, and in me, and I love very strongly. I aslo love to dance. Im not the best dancer but I love doing it. 

thewhacknes  asked:

I've been edging my huge cock for the past two hours to your "myself" section I can't wait to blow my huge 8 rope load deep inside your soaking wet little cumdump you call a pussy... God you're so fucking sexy I wanna grab a handful of your hair and fuck your face till I can blow my second load all over that pretty little hood rat face of yours

I’m glad you love my blog… Keep stroking and edging to my pics and blog … I don’t want you cumming yet cause I want that huge 8 rope nut.. Message me so we can work that load out together … All my holes and good rat body need your cum daddy 😜😜😍😍

The problem with having two very large cats and going away for over a week in the summer: fur. Fur EVERYWHERE! They don’t trust any of our cat sitters enough to be brushed and we now have fur tumbleweeds the size of rats skittering all over the place.

Highlights of Pokemon Go tonight:

1. My egg hatching to a Jynx
2. furiously swinging on a swing set to see if it was enough for the GPS to count the motion toward your egg Km total
3. My friends and I literally scaling a wall in an alley to track a Jigglypuff. We tracked in vain for at least an hour. All we found were Rats and Bats, naturally.

Low point of Pokemon Go tonight:

1. My other egg hatching into a fucking Zubat.