we're-brother

707 waking MC up at 3 am
  • MC: What's up babe what's wrong?
  • 707: Have you ever thought about how like, fucked it is that once we get married saeran will be your brother in law? Or basically that after anyone gets married that their siblings become your siblings? Because since my sibling is now your sibling, it's like we're all brothers and sisters? Whenever I think of inlaws now I'm just thinking that you and I are kinda like brother and sister and that's kinda fucked up dont ya think? Saeran shouldn't be ur brother in law bc that makes me feel like you're my sister in law
  • MC: ... shit dude
  • 707: RIGHT. RIGHT.
  • /// MC was gonna shush him but then realized woah... that is kinda fucked. \\\
Imagine your OTP- Things I've said to my SO
  • "Why the fuck are there three different rolls of paper towels??"
  • "Do we need lessons on how ziplock bags work?"
  • "Taking off my clothes takes effort. I'm sleeping on the futon."
  • "At what point if any did it cross your mind that this might be a bad idea?"
  • "TECHNOLOGY HATES ME OH MY GOD I KILLED THE MICROWAVE."
  • "Wake me up if you want something!! Seriously! Sleepy sex is awesome!"
  • "Please kill it. Preferably with fire."
  • "See, this is why we're together. No one else could handle our terrible puns."
  • "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO STAB YOURSELF OPENING YOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT GO TO THE HOSPITAL."
  • "I love you. but I swear to you if you keep leaving lunch containers in the sink without putting soapy water in them I will kill you slowly."
  • "Dude, we're old... your brother just left with a 24-pack of bud ready to party, and we're sitting in front of the TV with Netflix and fancy cheese."
  • "These potatoes in the fridge are starting to flower... can I toss them?"
  • "Sleep is for those that haven't been struck with inspiration."
  • "I'll sleep when I'm dead."
  • "Sweetie, I appreciate the thought, but I meant A 50c PACKAGE of reeses, I didn't need the whole candy aisle."
  • "Goddamn it why are you so sweet."
  • "I just got out from babysitting and I am having my tubes tied immediately."
  • "I AM NOT CUTE GODDAMN IT I AM INTIMIDATING."
  • "Let me rephrase, I'm getting mongolian. if you'd like, you can come along, but if not, that's cool too. but I want mongolian."
  • "You bought WHAT for HOW MUCH?"
  • "I love your mother, but I almost reached across the table and wrapped my hands around her throat."
  • "Why do we even NEED more bass?"
  • "SCIENCE MOTHERFUCKER"
  • "You may want to hide the alcohol because I may die from how much and how badly I want to drink right now."
  • "Aaaack that freaks me out when you do that!!"
  • "Everything hurts and I'm dying, but I'm not pregnant this month so that's nice."
  • "STOP TICKLING ME YOU ASSHOLE I WILL NIPPLE PINCH YOU"
  • Dean in "The French Mistake": Here you've got a pretty good life. Back home the hits been coming since you were six months old. You gotta admit, being a bazillionaire, married to Ruby, the whole package it's no contest.
  • Sam in "The French Mistake": We just don't mean the same thing here. I mean we're not even brothers here, man.
  • Sam in "Regarding Dean": Just, you know the things we've done, we've had this weight for- forever. Seeing it gone, you looked happy.
  • Dean in "Regarding Dean": Look was it nice to drop our baggage? Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably. But it wasn't just the crap that got lost, I mean it was everything. It was us. It was what we do, all of it. So if that's what being happy looks like? I think I'll pass.
Guys, what if at Wrestlemania...
  • Seth: *limping backstage after his match*
  • Dean: *comes to help him*
  • Seth: *confused* Wait, after all what I've done with you, you're... helping me? Why?
  • Dean: Because we're brothers. We argue, we fight, we screw each other. But at the end of the day, everything is forgiving. I had my revenge at MITB, it's all done with me...
  • Dean: ... but if you don't want my help, I'm not forcing you...
  • Seth: *interrupting Dean* NO, NO... I want. Thank you.
  • Dean: You're welcome.
  • Dean and Seth: *walk together in the backstage*

haljathefangirlcat  asked:

Janie imagine Modern AU! Jon and Sam taking selfies together and Sam gets all like "don't do the puppy dog! I'm the puppy dog guy here, you're the good-looking guy" but then Jon is like "I thought *you* were the good-looking guy" and Sam just kind of dies there and then

…. you ask I deliver, I couldn’t resist.

“I don’t… get it?” 

Fine, so maybe Sam had expected a bit more enthusiasm about his proposal, but then again he had forgotten that Jon’s cellphone is still… his father’s old Nokia 3310 whose most complicated function is playing Snake and he grimaces every time someone uses the word app in front of him. Maybe let’s take a few selfies doesn’t sound like a stellar prospect to him.

“There isn’t much to get,” Sam shrugs, taking out of his pocket the brand new phone he bought with the money he gets for giving private lessons to most of the grades below theirs. And hadn’t it felt good to buy himself a nice thing that had nothing to do with his father’s earnings, but that’s an entire other problem. “You just, like, look at the camera and snap and it takes a picture of you that you can see and then you put it on Instagram.”

“Insta-what?”

“A social network where you make pictures prettier.”

Jon doesn’t still seem to get it, but then he shrugs. “I still don’t get the appeal but if you want it, sure. I mean, costs me nothing.”

Okay, Sam isn’t going to tell him that his appeal is that - they really don’t have that many pictures together and most of the existing ones are in Ned and Catelyn’s family albums and were still developed with film, because of course his father never let Sam’s mother take birthday party pictures or anything of the kind, and he’s never liked Jon much in the first place. And he knows his crush that he’s harbored for the last couple years or so is going nowhere, like hell Jon would be interested in him as anything other than the very best mates they’re now, but he kind of wants a few pictures of the two of them to look at, okay? And everyone is taking selfies these days, no one would find it suspicious.

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Lucky Us: The International Incident II
  • Adrien: *drunk* Listen. Ali. My brother.
  • Ali: *also drunk* We're brothers???
  • Adrien: For life.
  • Ali: *bursts into tears*
  • Chloe: *drunk the third* You guys should get commemorative tattoos or something.
  • Adrien: That is an excellent idea. But first. Ali. You see that fire escape? We're gonna ride that thing.
  • Ali: Isn't that dangerous?
  • Adrien: No, no, no, no. It's okay. *puts a mixing bowl on Ali's head* You are now safe from all harm.
  • Chloe: Adrikins, you're a genius!
  • Adrien: *grabs Ali by the shoulders* Courage, brother!! I'll be right behind you.
  • Chloe: This is SO going on YouTube.