we're not human

But seriously tho, on the topic of temperatures we can survive and stuff, aliens would flip the heck out if they lived where i do.

I live in a part of southern Canada that gets so cold that being outside for more than 2 minutes means you have a good chance of getting frost bite.

My room has two outside walls, and is very well insulated. In the winter i get frost on the inside of my walls and i couldnt give two shits. I sleep with the exact same blankets i do in the summer.

Like you see all these things about Australia, or rainforests, or Florida, and how extreme they are.

But id like to see aliens take on a candian hosehead. They’re like red necks, but with more crazy stunts, more beer, and more guns. Like can you imagine???

Alien: ah yes a nice cool region this will do nicely for the invasian

Human: *careens off building on a ski doo towing another man on a toboggan, hollering about how he left his beer at the lodge*

Alien: well perhaps the local species are a bit strange, but mostly harmless! After all, this species of humans “can-ayy-dee-ins” are known throughout this planet as kind and docile, we shall have no difficu-SMACK- HOLY GILSNIP YOU HIT ME WITH A PEICE OF ICE YOU PRIES FROM THE LAKE AND NOW IM BLEEDING HOW DARE YOU FEEL MY WRATH

Humans: WEEEE HEEEHEHEEEEE you came to the wrong neighbour hood, bud!

Alien:…. my scans say you are heavily intoxicated. This shall be a easy fight

Human: *whistles loudly and gives a big toothy smile*

Alien: starts screaming as another human on a sled heads a MASSIVE HEARD OF WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BEAST ITS FURY AND IT HAS BEEN HORNS GREAT GILSNAP GET ME OUT OF HERE

Humans: high fiving as they climb on their sleds and chase after their herd of buffalo because that will take a while but it was ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT DID YOU SEE THAT ALIENS FACE GET REKT

Can I have an alien who is genuinely eager to learn human gestures since they already have an Intergalactic Translator strapped on so talking in each other’s languages is no problem but THIS ALIEN. THIS ALIEN WANTS TO BOND WITH US AND AT FIRST THEY OBSERVE FROM AFAR BUT THEN THEY COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE AND APPROACHED US AND GREETED US WITH A SUPER AWKWARD YET HELLA CUTE FIST BUMP THEY SAW US DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON AND A N D–

Another Humans are Wierd thing

We literally get together to chew.
We consider it socially beneficial to participate in chewing together. It has been a frequent topic of scientific investigation and is suggested that it not only help us form bonds but can increase our intellectual success? In fact, we like getting together and chewing so much we consider it an important, romantic, and high form of friendship and courting? Like going out on a date is taking someone to go chew some nice food with you.
Why is this so important to us? Why is it socially acceptable, and beneficial even, to sit together in groups, large or small, and chew?
Would other species consider it rude, disgusting even, to eat, chew, or take in necessary living substances in whichever way they do, in the company of others?

Alien: ugh, how can your species suffer the immense noises you make?
Human: we don’t really think about it, it’s more of like a ‘communal chewing’ thing which nobody really cares about
Alien: but isn’t it…rude?
Human: What? No, only if you do it with your mouth open.
Alien: but…you must open your mouth to eat, mustn’t you?
Human: Well, yeah, but-
Alien: Then is not eating in front of others rude?
Human: No, no! We’re encouraged to do it!
Alien: but you just said-
Human: I know, but it’s a popular form of social activity! People are more likely to come along to things if there’s food. You know, it’s the only way I could ever convince my friend to come out with me hahah
Alien:…

Also if like, for one species it’s actually similar to torture to be forced to consume things in front of or with others, so they make their humans a huge feast and they all have to eat it together, assuming they would be horrified, but then…
*dead silence*
EveryONE IN THE ROOM TEARS INTO THE FOOD WITH RECKLESS ABANDON. THE ALIENS LOOK ON WITH HORROR.

It gets worse when a food fight ensues.

Feb 13. Happy 1 Year Anniversary, Zombietale.

What if aliens have some totally random thing in common with humans

in a lot of sci-fi, aliens have the two most common earth genders and humanoid bodies and some of the same cultural institutions like weddings

what if they have none of that but we discover that the entire galaxy has. cheez-whiz or something

“Human Lai, please explain why Human Naomi takes different pronouns from you while we enjoy some re'nicss” (pulls out a can with strange markings and starts squirting fake cheese into beak)

3

#WESUPPORTLOUIS & #WESUPPORTELEANOR

Remus falls asleep while standing straight in the middle of a corridor on the way to class and Sirius spellotapes a note to his forehead which reads, “Remus Lupin: Human Disaster”

James reads it and goes, “Padfoot, be fair,” and takes out his own quill so the note now says, “Remus Lupin: Mostly Human Disaster”

  • My Tolkien Professor: So do we have any favorite companions yet in the Fellowship?
  • Me: Boromir
  • Student: But he's corrupted--
  • Me: Exactly, he's the only relatable one
  • Me: If I was given the one-ring
  • Me: I'd want to pick a fight with Sauron too
  • Student: I'd like to think I'd give up the one ring
  • Me: PFFF NONE OF US WOULD
  • Me: WE ARE ALL BOROMIR

okay, so get this. Humans have this insane thing about asking questions and the aliens just don’t get it. Like, alien over here - we’ll call him Al - is told this certain sent of directions for fixing a nav computer or smth and like the aliens always follow the rules and dont question it or anything just accepts things but when Al tries to teach the New Human Crewman - we’ll call it Steve - Steve goes, “but why not just connect the green wire to the blue port and completely bypass the four-way circuit?” and Al just stares at him in shock, like, dude, Steve, you don’t go around asking question, though that actually does make more sense. Or like, they’re supposed to go talk to Big Alien Leader - who we’ll name Tom - and Tom tells them the Big Rules of Planet XYZ and Steve goes, but why can’t we go into the anti-grav lake, i mean, come on that sounds amazing, and Tom stares at Steve like he’s crazy, and Al quickly tries to cover, but Tom is like, “no, no, Steve’s got a point.” idek that’s just smth ive been thinking about

More humans being humans

Ok, guys, don’t know if this has been done before either, but I’ve had my second (2nd) idea about humans being weird.

Handedness.

Just, what the fuck, right?

There are some things I personally can do decently with both hands.  I’m an excellent typist, for instance, and I don’t think either of my hands are more proficient at it than the other.  Video game controllers.  Occasionally, there are things I can do just left-handed.

But in general, it’s insane that the mirror image of my right hand can’t do shit.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say my writing is legible with my right hand, but I can read it, and I can write small and quickly.  My left hand goes slow and makes a disaster on the paper.  Throwing, using a paintball gun, everything feels super awkward trying to do it left-handed to the point that I don’t even try.

So the aliens meet us.  It’s pretty cool (except for when our space lawyers ruin everything; see my other post).  And hey, these humans can be pretty useful and intelligent, let’s do some joint ventures as shows of good faith and getting to know each other.

We’re on the aliens’ ship.  Every time we’re carrying something and come up to that one door, we grumble to ourselves as we either awkwardly change hands or attempt to reach across to hit the button to open the door.  Humans always sit on the one side of the table, and if they don’t, they’re either elbowing their alien buddy or sending food all over the place.  So, the aliens naturally assume humans just evolved to use that hand for everything for some reason, even though that makes no sense, they look identical?

And then the lefties show up.  Doing everything mirrored.  The aliens had thoughtfully made some conversion kits to help the humans out, but now these ones need the mirror image or else their productivity is just shot.  But then there’s Susan, and she can use whatever hand she wants for everything?  Why aren’t all the humans like Susan? Or at least using the same hand?  How do we explain that to them?

“Oh, yeah, when we’re born, we’re basically programmed to probably use only one hand, picked mostly at random but favouring the right side.  Yeah, I don’t think about it much. Hey, can I take that chair, I don’t want to knock over your plate while we eat.”

Zodiac Signs as The 1975 lyrics
  • Aquarius: Step into your skin? I'd rather jump in your bones.
  • Pisces: You look famous, let's be friends and portray we possess something important.
  • Aries: And you're the only thing that's going on in my mind, taking over my life a second time.
  • Taurus: You used to have a face straight out of a magazine, now you just look like anyone.
  • Gemini: And if I believe you, would that make it stop, if I told you I need you?
  • Cancer: I searched all day it drove me insane. Where would I be if I was my brain?
  • Leo: Get someone you love? Get someone you need? Fuck that, get money.
  • Virgo: We're all human, we're just like you man. We're sentient, we're something.
  • Libra: But you call me when you're bored and you're playing with yourself.
  • Scorpio: I personify the ‘adolescent on a phone’, speaking like I’m bigger than my body.
  • Sagittarius: I said, hey kids we're all just the same. What a shame.
  • Capricorn: She wears a frown and dressing gown when she lays down.

“We’re all just songs in the end. If we are lucky.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote and it just kind of struck me, properly and truly struck me. So many of these characters will become songs. The things they did, the battles they all fought will forever be immortalised. Daenerys, Jon, Jaime, Brienne, Arya, Sansa, Tyrion, Cersei, Asha, Stannis and so many more will all be made into songs and remembered. GRRM’s story almost acts as the prequel to the songs. The origin stories even. This series is the humanity behind the songs. It’s what we get when we strip away the fancy words and look to the bone of the tales.

Characters like Sansa or Bran and Arya, they won’t just fade into obscurity or become another name in the family line. They’ll be remembered. Already we’re seeing songs about them creeping in. There are tales about the huge pack of wolves, led by Nymeria, her own. There are songs about how Sansa turned into a wolf and killed the king and flew out of Kingslanding. 

I know it seems hard to associate songs with the abuse and pain all these characters faced but that is exactly the point! Time and history will glorify them, forgetting all the hurt they once endured. The songs won’t remember how Jon struggled with his identity and not belonging but rather on the man who rose from the dead and helped to defeat the Others. 

It won’t see Bran the Broken boy or Brienne as someone to be mocked. It will remember that Bran became a godlike figure and ruled over Winterfell for centuries onwards. It will remember Brienne as one of the greatest knights to exist, perhaps it will even forget the reason behind her title, the Beauty. 

It won’t think to remember how Daenerys was abused by her own brother and was desperate for a home but rather the woman who did what no other person was able to do, bring dragons back. It’ll focus on how she broke the chains of slavery despite her lineage and past suggesting otherwise. It will remember her as the most beautiful woman and Aegon the Conqueror himself. 

It won’t see Arya, a girl forced to give up her identity, plagued by her own fears and insecurity but rather a girl who led a whole army of wolves and avenged her family. It’ll see a twelve-year-old who conquered the world.

Sansa, the girl who was forced to watch her father die and was forced into marriages, abused, sexually assaulted, she won’t be that anymore. She’ll be the girl who slayed a giant. The girl who escaped and killed a king and then helped to rebuild Winterfell and perhaps, even became a Queen. She’ll be a leader and a bringer of peace and a great lady in a song.

Despite what Sansa may think, what we all may think.The songs do exist, they just have to be earned. All the songs are based on somethings. They have to be and all these characters that we’ve just seen develop and grow are what the songs in the future will be based off. They’re the human within the song. The heart beneath the happy veneer. 

We're autistic, we're human, get used to it

Some dehumanizing descriptions of autism are negative. For example, some people believe that we are incapable of love, or incapable of imagination, or incapable of understanding anything of importance.

Some dehumanizing descriptions of autism are positive. For instance, some people believe that we are incapable of lying, incapable of being manipulative, and that we always say exactly what we mean.

Autism doesn’t work that way. We are fully human, for better and for worse. We are fallible. We make communication mistakes. We don’t always know what we mean, and we don’t always express ourselves clearly. For instance, sometimes we say things that feel direct but that are actually very confusing. That’s human.

We are capable of treating others well, and we are capable of treating others badly. We are capable of caring about others, and we are capable of indifference. We are capable of being kind, and we are capable of being cruel.

Autism means having disabilities that can affect how we communicate, how we move, and how we understand things. Autism doesn’t make us better than other people, and it doesn’t make us worse. We’re not subhuman, and we’re not superhuman. We’re just people.

Elemental Personalities
  • Aries: You're the smoldering embers of chaotic fire, you are the product of chaos.
  • Cancer: You're the heartbeat of a lover, you flutter so sporadically and keep life what it is.
  • Taurus: You're the grass that grows under the innocence of adolescence,you alone can soften the fall.
  • Gemini: You're the air that coats the lungs of all, you intoxicate every living thing that has ever walked this Earth.
  • Leo: You're the first and the last beauty. You are missed sometimes, often actually, but when someone finds you; however, oh god they're going to love you.
  • Virgo: You're the first snowfall that covers our sorrows. You heal the hearts of many and soften the pain.
  • Libra: You're the bark of the old willow tree that has many names carved into it, you remember each and every one and the memories stored within every stroke of the knife.
  • Scorpio: You're the shadows that silently welcome each and every person to a place of peace and rest.
  • Sagittarius: You're the soil beneath our feet, ready to carry the new life that will come from it. You're ready to burrow the lost sorrows.
  • Capricorn: You're the cold air that is visible to the naked eye, haunting in a sense. You remind us that we're human.
  • Aquarius: You're the bottom of the ocean, reminding everybody that there is beauty in even the darkest of places. You tell people where your mind can sink to.
  • Pisces: You're the sun that leads the way, that warms our skin. You my friend, are needed very much so.

Something I’d like you to know since no one here cares about what’s happening in my country. Everyone seems more interested in other violent attacks like in London and so on (Not saying I do not care what’s happening there) just we are also living hell in here. The Government authorities are killing us, they don’t care if you are and old man or just a kid, you’d get killed if you stand in their way. 

This dictatorship regime is killing us.