we're into it wednesday

2

trade mistakes // panic! at the disco

K but consider this: Link and Zelda being neighbors in an apartment

and I was trying to decide whether next-door neighboors or floor-above neighbors would be funnier but I figured that out quick

  • So Link lives in apartment 426 and Zelda moves into 326. She and Malon are so jazzed because it’s their first place ever, they’re both fresh out of college, and they have good entry level jobs
  • now i understand that that right there is an unrealistic fantasy but BEAR WITH ME
  • anyhow Zelda is so excited to start at work and she’s lying in her room trying to go to sleep and all she hears is BANGING on her ceiling
  • it’s 12:30 on a Tuesday night. what the fuck are those people doing??
  • but she is a civil person who is not grumpy AT ALL and just puts headphones in and goes to sleep
  • But as it turns out, this happens EVERY NIGHT
  • A couple days later she is getting her mail and notices a guy with a great butt like hot damn unlocking the 426 box so she says hi, gets his name, and as passive aggressively as possible tells him to keep it the fuck down
  • anyways that night as she’s going to bed she goes to pull her curtain closed and there, dangling by a string in front of her window, is a note that says “Sorry Princess ;)” 
  • And she doesn’t even have time to consider what he’s sorry for before she hears the music start to BLARE. 
  • So basically Zelda takes this as a declaration of war and begins plotting how she, too, can make his life miserable. Like a civil person who is not grumpy at all.
  • He has it easier because all he has to do is jump up and down but she is much more creative
  • Next time he wakes her up with the thumping she starts vacuuming her ceiling at 2 in the morning
  • Realizing what she’s doing, he gets competitive and the next night, he invites all of his friends out onto his balcony one night for drunk karaoke
  • she attaches a little speaker to his cat’s collar that’s connected to her phone and once he gets inside she blares never gonna give you up
  • He buys two retro DDR mats and him and Sheik start playing every night before bed
  • She climbs up onto the fire escape to open his window (idiot leaves it unlocked) and attaches a blowhorn to the outside so when he closes it he nearly goes flying 
  • Both of them are exhausted 100% of the time but spite and competitiveness keep them going.
  • One day Zelda catches Link trying to get her back and she nearly pushes him off the fire escape
  • They’re hopelessly attracted to each other tbh but they have literally NO contact besides these back and forth pranks so none of them give it up
  • Malon and Sheik don’t really know what’s going on but it starts keeping THEM awake and they get together and start figuring out how to broker peace
  • Malon drags Zelda to their apartment for dinner one night and while Zelda and Link start bickering at the table Sheik and Malon slip out 
  • Zelda doesn’t even notice that they’re gone and tries to storm back up to the room but Link’s front door won’t budge
  • (Sheik and Malon have barricaded the door from the outside with the help of one meddling front attendant) 
  • THEY’RE STUCK IN THE APARTMENT TOGETHER LMAO
  • They try the fire escape but Malon is smarter than that and has that locked too
  • Anyway now Link and Zelda are forced to spend the night together 
  • And now they have all this free time because they don’t have to waste time pranking each other
  • And Link is like….”So……do you wanna play ddr?”
3

At least someone remembered Jack Flag was a member of the GotG.

Still hoping he’s not really dead and that he’s orchestrating Hydra douchenozzle’s downfall.

I bet his grave epitaph reads

Here lies Jack Flag

He really hated Cosmic stuff

from Captain America Steve Rogers #11

The signs as Mean Girls quotes

Aries: “This is Damien. He’s almost too gay to function.”

Taurus: “That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.”

Gemini: “Four for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco!”

Cancer: “God, Karen, you’re so stupid!”

Leo: “Oh my god Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white!”

Virgo: “There’s at least a… *fondles boob* …30% chance that it’s already raining.”

Libra: “On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was. ‘It’s October 3rd.’”

Scorpio: “On Wednesdays we wear pink.”

Sagittarius: “Get in, loser, we’re going shopping.”

Capricorn: “Don’t have sex. You will get pregnant and die.”

Aquarius: “Gretchen, stop trying to make Fetch happen!”

Pisces: “She doesn’t even go here!”

A bisexual fucked me up last week lemme tell ya

Art class is Stressing Me Out when it shouldn’t. Its fucking ART half the class always ditches. But the teacher kinda nudged me into a big group project to paint a mural with some other girls that Dont Want Me There and im so out of the loop like???? Idk wtf is goin on in that group? I didnt even wanna be in it in the first place. Plus the teach kept shuttin down my attempts to figure out an end of the year project i can do ON MY OWN and ugh

Why the Chicago Version of The Addams Family Musical is 1000000x Better Than Any Other
  • Lucas: Ow! You bit me!
  • Wednesday: *smirks* Uh huh.
  • Lucas: What are you, a vampire? *starts kissing her neck*
  • Wednesday: Poor Lucas; there's so much about me you don't know.
  • Lucas: I'll study you! You'll be my life's work!
  • Wednesday: Okay, then here's your first assignment! *whispers in his ear*
  • Lucas: *looks shocked* *snogs her like crazy*
  • ...
  • Lucas: You're beautiful, a blessed event, just like a little menace sent from heaven!
  • Wednesday: Oh, shut up!
  • Lucas: Your hair is strands of licorice sticks, your perfect freckles...four, five, six, and seven.
  • ...
  • Wednesday: Tell them, Lucas! About how we're going to spend the rest of our lives together!
  • Lucas: ...Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah that's right! We're getting married! Super frickin married! Totally. Her and me. ...One, two, three.
Pompeii

For Weird Wednesdays with @thefreckledone [Part 2]


The greyhound bus didn’t take anyone all the way into Pompeii. There was construction on the roads that made it too rough for anything not sporting four wheel drive to make the climb up. That was fine. The drop off point was less than a mile away from the town, famous for it’s crips beauty and distinct lack of volcanic activity.  

“Wait, so you’re walking?”

Sakura winced, pulling the bluetooth ear piece out and glaring at it before replacing it again once the ringing in her ear had subsided. “Ami, you know I can hear, right?”

“I told you to buy a car before you left. You’re hiking a mile with luggage. What kind of sweet hell is that?” her friend ranted, likely huffing and puffing from the recliner in her dad’s loft apartment just north of central Manhattan. It was a weekday, she wouldn’t be at her own place. “Do they not have taxies in the boonies? What about Uber?”  

“A mile is nothing to worry about, and I have comfortable shoes,” Sakura replied, feeling the weight of her duffle bag increase as if the acknowledgment of it’s existence made it that much heavier.

She didn’t mention the fact that her bank account was starting to look like the clearance price of a lightly used sofa sectional. A taxi might have put her in the red if it had a high enough rate. It was also the main reason she was taking up a position as a general practitioner for the nowhere town instead of completing her residency in the city. She needed to make a living and build up a better bedside manner if she ever wanted to qualify for a Cardiothoracic Surgery Fellowship somewhere down the road.

“I’m going to miss you. Who’s going to remind me to go to bed at a decent hour? No one’s ever put up with me as long as you have,” Ami sniffed on the other end of the line. “You’ve finally left me…a-all for some stupid town no one wants to practice in.”

Sakura could hear the waterworks coming and laughed to ease the tension. “It’s not that bad. From what I heard there’s not that high a need for a doctor and they’ve been stubbornly resilient since the last one up and left. It’s not a busy place. I’ll have plenty of yearly check ups to practice my bedside manner on so it’s perfect for me. Everyone wants to save the day in a big way and forgets about the little guys. I think I’ll fit in just fine.”

“Yeah, but I think you’re forgetting the most important thing here: me. When will I see you again? I’m so lonely.”

“Ami, you’re married.”

“Yeah but that’s different.”

“Hang on,” Sakura said, pausing on the side of the road. She blinked and then turned around, searching for the curve she could have sworn she had already passed over. That pine tree looked oddly familiar. “Ami, how long have I been on this call with you?”  

“Not long enough.”

Sakura pulled out her cell and checked the time. She’d been on the phone twenty one minutes. She should have seen the town by now. She wasn’t a slow walker either, in spite of her luggage. She felt a vibration in her ear and then a crackle as her cell phone screen showed only one bar left, and even that one was blinking.

“Ami, your signal is starting to break up so I’m going to have to end the call. I think I’m close to the town, I’ll email you when I get there.”

“Your phone is old, that’s why. Sakura…come back soon! I miss you.”

“Love you too,” Sakura fondly cooed before ending the call and replacing the cell in her jacket’s front pocket.

Without the distraction, Sakura took another look around and decided she was in a new area and that she hadn’t turned herself around. She was being silly, thinking she had passed by the same way when she never once turned off the road. Ami’s call had just distracted her. Silly, silly, silly.

Sakura started walking again and in another minuet she could see the curve in the road that lead into a main street where a dozen different store fronts showed off open faces. A handful of cars were parked on the street outside and people were out and about. The further she walked the more of the town she could see and she was amazed by how big it was for being in such an out of the way location. There were plenty of people and cars, even if she hadn’t seen a single one on the road up from the greyhound stop.

Something like excitement made Sakura’s heart skip in her chest and she couldn’t help but smile. There had been more than one reason she settled on the occupancy at Pompeii and not one of the more local cities. Of course it was an interesting place that Sakura felt she could do well in, but aside from that she already knew someone in town.

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