we will miss you unceasingly

This is Devin’s jacket. I took it about a month ago because he always stuffed my locker with like six of his jackets, and I needed a jacket one day and took his. I figured it was like tax for using my locker for three years. The day I took it, I accidentally sneezed on it, and I always joked that I didn’t think he wanted it back after that. The morning of the day we found out about his suicide, I considered taking his jacket to the gym and decided against it, figuring I’d just give it back to him the next day. 

When they cleared out my locker of his possessions, I told the school I still had one of his jackets at my house. They told me to bring it to school on Monday. I’m struggling as to whether or not I should. I feel like his family should have it, yes, but it’s the last tangible thing I have of his left. I considered giving it directly to his family during the viewing on Tuesday, but that also might be overstepping my boundaries. 

I almost wish they hadn’t taken his things out of my locker. I haven’t seen it so empty in so long. Earlier this year I requested to have my locker moved to a more conveniently located place, but now I know I can’t do that. 

Life is so precious, and you will never really know how much you touch a person’s life. And you never really know what kind of pain someone is going through. Don’t be fooled by their smiles and jokes. Don’t forget to check in with those people too. Don’t assume that they’re smiling because they have no problems. They’re just better at hiding them.