so the humans are space orcs posts where we can just hide emotions from our customer service skill set, why don’t we take that a step further.
What about actors, who literally train for years to act different behaviors for different roles, from good guys to bad guys. One minute the human is kind and gentle, the next he is arrogantly addressing the pirates who invaded, all from his acting days.
Their strict memorization can help them recall lines for any situation. They can cry on cue, motivate their crewmates with a well place monologues, become the life of the party with one liners and comedic sketches.
Hell this can apply to dedicated fans. The ones who try to get in character at cosplays, or memorize entire dialogues from their favorite scenes.
Really I just want someone to write alien fic where a human quotes the wallet scene from pulp fiction and just fucking terrifies them
Exo: Omg our children; so precious; can you direct me to the NCT Protection squad?; wait no contract termination
Super Juinor: wow we’re grandparents; i just wanna squish them and hug them forever; LEAVE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE
Red Velvet: GO DREAM TEAM; leaders of NCT protection squad; oh yeah i trained with them
SNSD: so that kid is finally out of the basement?; congrats; who are they again
F(x): my little bros; sweg; JHONNY; oh yeah Ten was on that show with Amber
Shinee: I remember Taeil aka that kid who likes us; why am I so confused
Seventeen: IM NOT JOHNNY; I love Jaehyun so much, hes so handsome
Blackpink: Thai squad; same year debut squad
Twice: Japan squad; aw Doyoung and Jihyo; i like them
SM: Mark is fully capable. How the fuck did Johnny get out of the dungeon? Aw look at the minis. Give Taeyong all the lines. Where’s whoop whoop? Ten you will be the next Henry, so much talent, into variety shows you go. Beef up security in the dungeon so Hansolo and Kung Fu Panda don’t get out. Who released the Switch MV? We should reunite DoJae. Wait who’s babysitting them? Fuck. No, don’t touch them
this is stiles and lydia’s last year to win Top Tv Couple, even if you like all the other couples including evak who we’re up against, they’ll have another chance to win next year
if we win we get an interview with either Jeff or Holland/DOB (probs not DOB unless its over the phone lmao but we can dream)
it would just be nice to win after 6 years of people calling us delusional LOL and we all know stydia will go down in history but they will literally be the top couple of 2017 and i love validation after all this teasing
How to vote efficiently:
there are voting parties that stydianews sets up on twitter so check them out
we’re only going to make progress if you vote multiple, multiple, times
your vote only counts if you hit “im not a robot” and then have to verify a bunch of annoying street signs and shit
We literally just beat olicity TWICE and got the most votes out of the entire competition, breaking a record. To put it in perspective Clexa, last years winners and an insanely popular ship got 265,393 votes against their competitor this year and Stydia got 620,215 against Olicity. We can seriously win this LET’S DO IT :D
We have until Thursday, March 2 at 5 p.m. PT which is 8 p.m if you’re on the East Coast.
Back in 1983 my high school library was a bit of a joke. It seems we never had more than 2 copies of any book the county put on its required list. What this meant was that everyone was frantically trying to get the same books to complete papers with. Before I could drive this meant getting my poor mom to drive me to every library in the area.
One day our library started asking for volunteers to do a fundraiser to get more materials and namely more copies of the required books. Some of us jumped on board and sold everything from donuts to coupons. We would also hold bake sales, car washes, and etc. We were elated when at the end of the drive we had far exceeded the goals.
We were all promised that we would have our dreams realized over the summer. The school year starts up and we are giddy to see the new books. Imagine our dismay when we get into the library and find that most of the books are gone. Bare shelves glared at us as we went along the rows. Thats when we noticed that the holy grail of the library was also missing - the card catalog file. In its place was two computer terminals - mind you not computers.
We went to the front desk and asked the librarian what was going on. She had decided to get a fancy computer system ‘to make her job easier and cut down on theft’. We were stunned because we did not have a theft problem. Certainly some books would get lost or damaged but not very many. The books were mostly missing because they had been sent to a company to 'have security embedded in them’. The worst part is the librarian overspent and therefore, you guessed it, was not able to purchase more books.
We felt the shame of being used, lied to, and screwed over. It was at this point that we knew revenge was in order. It took myself and a couple of my fellow computer nerds 15 min to figure out what they had done to the books. The security tag was a RF tag (like at stores) on the card pocket of the book. The new cards themselves had metal foil in their center. Without this foil the tag would receive energy from the newly installed gates at the library door and set off an alarm.
I decided to test our knowledge. I grabbed a reference book, threw a gum wrapper in the pocket, shoved it in my bag, and hit the door. I passed out the door without a peep from the gates. After that day we threw our plan into action. We would steal as many books as we could and hide them in any location we could find.
At first we used storage rooms by boxing them up and soon ran out of space. We then started using empty lockers and even putting them in the ceiling on top of divider walls. By the end of the year the librarian was getting frantic. She could not balance her inventory with the new computer system and she was being called out on it thanks to our many complaints. Another genius move was to have then boxes labeled as other textbooks and sent to the warehouse over the summer. This was easy to do since WE were the volunteers that wrote a program to do it and would print the labels.
The librarian ended up losing her job and being investigated for fraud since there seemed to be some missing funds as well. Over the summer the county finally spent the money to fill our book request due to the uproar. It was not until a week before the start of school that they started discovering library books in the extra boxes several teachers received.
This was just the beginning of us getting revenge on some of the teachers. In the end we got our revenge and the original items we worked so hard to get.
Extra: the books never left county property. We boxed most up and sent them to the warehouse. They came back next year.
Also the company finished the other books they had and sent them back midway through the year. This worked to our advantage because the librarian could not see how many were gone until they placed all the secured books on the shelf from the final shipment.
My friend and I built this cabin by hand with two hammers and two hand saws. We completely disassembled a 100+ year old garage owned by this old man, Donald. We took every piece apart and stacked them up while Donald pulled out all the nails and put them in a bucket.
We put all the wood in a box truck, drove it into the woods and dropped it off. Over the next few months, we would carry the wood on our shoulders a few hundred feet into a section of the woods we liked that was hidden and inaccessible by car. We spent a couple months getting it together, but it’s been an ongoing project for a couple years.
We have to straighten out each nail Donald put in that bucket to reuse them. We’re $30 into this cabin so far. We just recently installed a woodstove we found. No power tools were used at all.
you know, I’m always saying how you shouldn’t move in together too young or too soon, but I actually think that Isak and Even moving in together fits Isak’s narrative quite beautifully? and like, I know i’m trash who could easily come up with at least ten reasons to justify them dropping out of high school to become organic farmers if need be (look at them and tell me their love wouldn’t water the crops), but after the way season 3 ended, this just feels so right?
who knows if it will feel right tomorrow or next month, but that doesn’t matter because life is now. to me this doesn’t feel rushed, it doesn’t feel like a rash decision. quite the opposite, really. it feels in line with Isak’s realisation of life being now. sure they could wait and see a year or two until they’re older and no longer in the honeymoon phase, but during that time we might all get killed in some cosmic explosion and then the chance to experience how it feels like to wake up next to each other every morning rain or shine will be forever lost.
moving in together with your significant other is a major step. it’s not the same as shared housing. i’ve done both, more than once, and they’re not the same thing. it’s dirty dishes in the sink. it’s compromise. it’s disillusionment. it’s amazing and wonderful and exciting and comfortable, but sometimes it’s also boring and mundane and annoying. and even though it’s not something I would normally recommend a teenager do after just a few months of dating, I’m honestly so happy and so thrilled that Isak made that choice, because to me it’s a sign that his little speech about life being now was not just pretty words. he’s practicing what he preached, and it looks real good on him. he was positively glowing sitting on Even’s lap, so present in the moment, so present with his friends, caressed by the first sunrays of spring about to bloom, and seeing him that way, it just felt so right. life is now. if it feels right, let it.
Top 10 reasons to read Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo
#1 Dr. Jesper Fahey
“Why is he looking at me this way.” (Kuwei)
“Kaz is wondering if he should keep you alive,” said Jesper. “Terrible for the nerves. I recommend deep breathing. Maybe a tonic.”
#2 True Friendship
“Are you hungry? We have chocolate biscuits.” (Nina to Inej)
“Oh sure,” said Jesper. “She gets the cookie hoard.”
“I’d tell you to ask the White Blade, but…” Inej shrugged.
“I hope she suffered.”
“What? We can’t both be merciful and serene.”
"You’ve saved my life. I’ve saved yours.”
“I think you’re ahead on that count.”
“No, I don’t mean in the big ways.” Nina’s eyes took them all in. “I mean the little rescues. Laughing at my jokes. Forgiving me when I was foolish. Never trying to make me feel small. It doesn’t matter if it’s next month, or next year, or ten years from now, those will be the things I remember when I see you again.”
#3 The student becomes the teacher
“Wylan Van Eck, you lied to Kaz Brekker.” Jesper clutched a hand to his chest. “And you got away with it! Do you give lessons?”
#4 Mature and responsible adults
"I have been very patient with all of this, Jesper, but I am at my limit. I want you down here before I count ten or I will tan your hide so you don’t sit for two weeks.” Colm’s head vanished back down the stairs.
The silence stretched. Then Nina giggled. “You are in so much trouble.”
Jesper scowled. “Matthias, Nina let Cornelis Smeet grope her bottom.”
Nina stopped laughing. “I am going to turn your teeth inside out.”
“That is physically impossible.”
#5 Once again Kaz being the bastard of the Barrel, the demon full of tricks, the mad man everyone feared a 17 year old with a crush
His eyes scanned her face as they always had, closely, hungrily, snatching at the details of her like the thief he was—the even set of her dark brows, the rich brown of her eyes, the upward tilt of her lips. He didn’t deserve peace and he didn’t deserve forgiveness, but if he was going to die today, maybe the one thing he’d earned was the memory of her—brighter than anything he would ever have a right to—to take with him to the other side.
She smiled then, her eyes red, her cheeks scattered with some kind of dust. It was a smile he thought he mightdie to earn again.
Inej laughed, her hood falling back from her hair. “That’s the laugh,” he murmured.
#6 Grisha characters cameo
Kaz’s eyes narrowed. “Sturmhond.”
“He knows me!” Sturmhond said delightedly. He nudged Genya with an elbow. “I told you I’m famous.”
Zoya blew out an exasperated breath. “Thank you. He’s going to be twice as insufferable now.”
#7 Jealous?! Me?! Never!
Kuwei turned to Jesper. “You should visit me in Ravka. We could learn to use our powers together.”
“How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?” Wylan said with a very passable imitation of Kaz’s glare.
#8 True love understands
“You’re better than waffles, Matthias Helvar.”
A small smile curled the Fjerdan’s lips. “Let’s not say things we don’t mean, my love.”
#9 I’m not crying. You are!
“I would come for you,” he said, and when he saw the wary look she shot him, he said it again. “I would come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together—knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.”
#10 Nice and peaceful things
"Genya Safin knows poisons like no one else, and David Kostyk developed all kinds of new weapons for King Nikolai.” She glanced at Matthias. “And other things too! Nice things. Very peaceful.”
- “Okay so I was dared to go into this haunted house, and not only is it not haunted, a nice old lady and her really pretty granddaughter live here and they invited me over for dinner next week”
-”So I dated your friend and we broke up because she assumed that I had a crush on you after meeting you. She wasn’t wrong.”
-”So I was driving to my parents house in the middle of a blizzard when my car broke down. You noticed I was here and offered me a ride, do you maybe want to get some cocoa later?”
- “So you came over to my house mad that I dumped your friend, so you keyed my car and kicked me in the balls. The next day you came over to apologize after finding out that I dumped her cause she cheated on me, oddly I still think your cute.”
-”You transferred to my school this year and I have been showing you around for the past few weeks. You get along really well with my friends and they think you and I are dating. I am not against the idea.”
- “Someone was grabbing my butt and you decked them so hard he lost a tooth. Do you want to get coffee sometime?”
- “We both got really drunk at a party and ended up getting matching tattoos. Laser surgery is expensive and going out on a date would be cheaper.”
“ You have been my best friend for years, how dare you get really hot and… Omg is that a six pack?”
“Betty and I have been next-door neighbors since we were four. We’ve always gone to the same school, been in the same class.
I remember in the 2nd grade, I was having trouble reading and my teacher Mrs. Gribrock told my mom and dad that I should stay back a year to get caught up. Betty was so against us not being in the same grade that she took it upon herself to tutor me every single day.”
It’s about two months into their relationship. (Their proper relationship, not the year of fumbling that led them there.) Kent’s bugging Alexei about his stuff taking up too much room in Kent’s dresser drawers. “Can’t we, like, pick a drawer that’s yours and you can have that one, so your shit isn’t all messed up with mine?”
“You’re wanting to share drawers?” Alexei says, merrily putting a pair of pants in right next to Kent’s pants, god damn it.
“At least can we fucking talk about it?”
“Pff. No, too early. We talk about it when we get married,” Alexei says breezily.
Kent nearly trips face first over his own dropped jaw.
Context: Our group was participating in a tournament, and my male half-elf rogue Theron had tried to spy on last years winners who were participating this year as well and followed them to a high end club. I got discovered by one of them, but managed fooling him into thinking I was merely interested in him, and ended up having sex with him instead. The rest weren’t that impressed, and we were now gathered together trying to come up with our next move sans our barbarian who was off brawling in another bar.
Cleric: Well, look at the bright side, at least we know where they’re staying.
Wizard: That’s all we know, Theron didn’t even manage to get his name!
Rogue (me): Hey! I was a bit preoccupied.
Wizard: What kind of person doesn’t even ask the name of the people they fuck?
Rogue: *blushes* I didn’t expect him to start flirting with me so I kinda forgot, okay?
Cleric: Alright, let’s calm down and think about how to approach them again to try and get information.
Wizard: I know, Theron you go and seduce that elf again, and this time try to get some information before you jump in bed with him. Better yet, if you’re going to seduce someone go after the judge, maybe we can reap some benefits.
Cleric: That could work.
Rogue: Wait, wait, wait. Are you whoring me out? Is this happening?! *points accusingly at cleric* You’re a cleric, how can you agree with him on this?
Cleric: *serenely* It’s a viable tactic.
Wizard: So get out there and do something useful for once.
Rogue: *mutters* I hate you all.
Note: My rogue ended up having sex with one of the judges, but it was an accident as it was he who got seduced rather than the other way around much to the party’s amusement.
☾ note: the dates listed are subject to change. some of the titles have unknown posting dates, but they will by updated as I get closer to finishing them
∘ Immortal → Namjoon
“To abandon your land, is to therefore abandon your loyalty. We do not allow traitors in our midst.” The code of Yukinia, a code that Namjoon lived by, swore to, and pledged allegiance to, for the first nineteen years of his life.
↠ (sometime next week, finals are among us lol)
∘ Future Hearts PT.6
Jungkook was all tattoos and music, the embodiment of your past in the form of your first love. Jimin was all tattoos and charms, the embodiment of your present in the form of someone trying to help you get over your first love. As for who would embody your future, well, that was the real mystery.
Loving Him, Loving Her PT.2
When the feelings that you’ve always had for your friend Taehyung lead you down an unsteady path, you end up getting stuck. It’s an endless cycle of leaving her for you, and you for her, but there’s only one of you that he truly loves — and unfortunately you know you can’t make him say your name, when all he knows is hers.
∘ The Purge PT.5 (final)
The Purge - One day a year for twelve hours all crime is legal, including murder. Jung Hoseok is a purger, someone who is paid by others to kill for them on the day of total carnage. He’s given a list of twelve names every year, but what happens when your name is on it?
OK, BECAUSE LIKE THREE OF YOU HAVE ASKED, A SHORT LIST OF DUMB SHIT I’VE SEEN TOURISTS DO:
Try to RIDE the bison. The one-ton pile of Pissed off Pot Roast with the horns than can rip your intestines right out, the bone-smashing hooves and YES IT CAN RUN 40 MPH THAT IS NOT A JOKE. Was grabbed by my mother before she could get her ass killed.
Let chihuahuas, pugs and other toy dogs run loose in the park. Where they can eat endangered small reptiles and mammals, or be eaten by coyotes.
Listen to ranger talk about the importance of staying the fuck on the trail, or you could fall through the ground into the thermal pools and boil to death. IMMEDIATELY steps off the trail to get closer to the 2000 degree Pool.
The Exact Same As Above, but with a barely-frozen-over lake.
Carve their names over Native American Petroglyphs. Was offended when pulled away by and fined by a Ranger. Got a bigger fine for spitting on the Ranger and trying to punch them.
Getting drunk and trying to piss out the Junior Ranger’s campfire.
“HEY RANGER I FOUND A LOST DOG!” The thing they have in the box is a Badger.
Got screamed at by a wildlife photographer who’d been camping out trying to get pictures of baby foxes in their den. He went inside to take a piss, missed them, so I showed him the pictures I took to make him feel better. He punched me, Stole my camera, then got tackled into the pavement by my sister to get my camera back. I was 11 at the time.
OH AND THE QUESTIONS:
“What time of year to the deer turn into elk?” EVERY GODAMN YEAR.
*Pointing at a Glacier* What’s that white stuff up on the mountain?”
“What time do we get to feed the bears?”
Tourist: “Does Old Faithful work on Christmas?” Ranger: “Yes. Several times a day, every day. It’s a natural feature-” Tourist: “Why would you force them to work on a Christian holiday!?” Ranger: “Who?” Tourist: “The Men Undergound that operate the spring! They should at least get Chistmas off!” Ranger, clearly done with this shit: “…They’re Jewish.”
I’m almost too lazy to make this post because God it’s just so self explanatory but my loyalty to Temari runs too deep so here goes:
They did exactly what I called they were gonna do and made her an over aggressive nagging house wive. This is why I complained over and over again three years ago when I saw they had moved her to Konoha because I KNEW someway somehow they were going to subject her character to this. They want her to be Yoshino 2.0 even though that’s NEVER been who she is because “lmao get it Shikamaru is just like his dad! Parallels!!”. They don’t take the time to think about how her character would actually react because none of that matters now - she exists solely to be Shikamaru’s wife.
Some people are crying “abuse!” at what she did but I don’t really want to go there tbh. It’s very clear that in the Naruto universe things we find abusive are just par for the course. Calling out Temari in this instance would require we call out basically ever other female character which is not realistic. Domestic violence in Naruto is always played for laughs which is obviously fucked up but not something I think it’s fair to fault the characters for as we’re not intended to see it as abusive (even though realistically it is). No, what I really take issue with is the fact that being an overbearing and strict mother/wife is basically all Temari is given to do.
This woman was born in one of the most fucked up situations of any character we see. He father was a walking human disaster, her mother was dead, and her youngest brother had a nasty habit of slaughtering anyone who looked at him the wrong way. She has always been strong and confident but throughout the series she softens considerably as she learns caring is not a weakness. She is a better diplomat than either of her brothers and remains calm and collected in even the tensest of situations. Her dynamic with Shikamaru has always been one of mutual respect and understanding which is what makes their relationship work so well (and IMO better than any of the canon relationships we got). Yes, Temari is a take no shit kind of person who probably WOULD chastise her son for his pitiful behavior - but not in the way we’re shown. In Boruto her parenting method basically amounted to “I’m just going to hit you and intimidate you until you get the picture and ultimately just end up listening to your cooler nicer wiser dad.” She doesn’t actually say anything of significance to Shikadai at all - that is reserved entirely for Shikamaru as he’s the influential one in their sons life. Temari is just there to be the ol’ ball-and-chain ~what a drag~ mom whose only dominion is the house she is confined to. THEN there’s the fact that Temari refusing to make dinner inevitably meant neither Shikamaru nor Shikadai could eat - as if a grown man could not make his own dinner and HAD to have his wife do it because it’s her domestic ~duty~. This is extra and dramatic but it actually makes me sick that they’re doing this to her. After everything she went through she would have something worthwhile to add to the conversation other than “bah you’re too easy on him I’m going to withhold meals to prove a point!!!”. She doesn’t treat her brothers like this and they’re consistently shown to value her opinion because her opinion is worth hearing.
Temari played a crucial role in Suna politics prior to the end of the series. She sat on the council and came with Gaara to all the kage summits/meetings. She was one of the best kunoichi in the series just brimming with potential and strength and ferocity. During the war I began to get annoyed with how much they were making her revolve around Shikamaru’s character because after a certain point basically all her dialogue was in relation to him. That’s when I knew things were about to take a hard left turn for shits-ville and boy was I right. In chapter 700 ALL we see her doing is sitting in a house chastising her son and serving her brothers tea before they head out to a kage meeting without her. We don’t get any indication that she’s still affiliated with Suna, hell we don’t even get any indication that she’s still a ninja. In the boruto manga/movie she doesn’t interact with her siblings ONCE and is not with them in the pit with all the other Kage/advisors. I was happy to see she still had her fan but other than that I left highly unimpressed. Now in the anime she is ONCE AGAIN pictured in a house, serving people drinks and nagging away as if that’s all she’s good for anymore. I know it was played as a joke but that’s exactly what makes me so mad - her character has become nothing more than a trope meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator. The nagging housewive angle truly is the lowest hanging fruit but studio peirrot really could not resist could they.
Nevermind the fact that it would have been way funnier had they subverted the whole “why did you marry such a strict woman” thing by having Shikadai side with his mom instead, saying something to the effect of “why did you marry such an unmotivated slacker”. Can we stop treating Temari like she’s just an overly aggressive loaded gun that’s just one mistep away from going off. I mean I genuinely love Shikatema but I do not think the Boruto anime understands Shikatema. Part of me still wishes they just hadn’t got together because they don’t actually feel like “them” when they’re portrayed like this. No one is being respected as a character.
Anyway all this to say I’m basically done with the Boruto anime now. I might still watch the next couple of episodes because curiosity is gonna get the better of me but emotionally I have severed all connections. It just comes down to the fact that I cannot handle them so grossly mischaracterizing characters that I have loved since I was 11 years old. I actually don’t mind the new gen when they’re on their own but every damn time they show one of the original characters they manage to fuck them up in some way. We see it with Temari, with Naruto, with Yamato, with Sakura. Hell I can’t stand Sasuke and even I’m mad about what they did to him post chapter 699. I am never going to like the new gen characters more than the original cast so if watching Boruto means seeing them get completely decimated then I’m not gonna watch it. Simple as that. Naruto being an absent father is the worst crime but I have no doubt they’ll continue to top that in future episodes.
Please like or reply to this post if you didn’t get a chance to get an obsidian dagger the last time we had them in stock, and would be interested in getting one the next time we restock. We are going to be getting in contact with that supplier again soon (he only comes to the US a couple times a year) about placing another order, but I want to get an idea of how many to order!
They’re either mahogany or black obsidian and they come in different sizes (the prices were like $20, $26, $30, and $40)
*Antonyms of Slytherin*
I’m about to disprove every single one of these so make a cup of tea and get ready.
You can’t just dismiss ¼ of wizards and witched as ‘unfriendly’ simply because of a stereotype. Since when did being ambitious and being friendly become mutually exclusive? Yes, there are some Slytherins who are particular assholes, but what about other houses? You’re saying that in Gryffindor, a house that values bravery and all around cockiness people were always friendly? As well as that, the house that is known for valuing kindness is Hufflepuff. Are you saying that Hufflepuff and Slytherin are opposites? Yes, the people who make up those houses have very different personalities, but as always, there is some overlay, or Slytherpuffs would not exist. For example, Narcissa Black was almost sorted into Hufflepuff because of her fierce loyalty towards her family. Kindness is a basic human emotion, missing only in the mind of psychopaths, which is not the word I would use to describe Regulus, Slughorn, and the great Merlin himself.
So practically ¾ of Hogwarts hates Slytherin and believes them to be heartless monsters, but it surprises you that they don’t seem open? Okay, Slytherins tend to hide their emotions from most people, but within a Slytherin’s small group of friends they will not hesitate to tell them everything, because unlike some other houses, a secret stays a secret. This is one of the words I could potentially agree with as I have found myself closing off from other people when I do not want to burden them, but my best friend knows everything about me as we keep no secrets from each other, something former members from the Gryffindor house (dumbledore) could not say, having kept a certain boy-who-lived’s inescapable early death from him for more than 7 years.
Yeah, okay I can see where the author of this is coming from with this one
Okay we need to stop using common traits of Hufflepuff as antonyms for Slytherin! If there is one thing Slytherins are not accepting of then it’s bigoted behavior because “everyone else may think we’re evil but we will not sink to meet their expectations.”
Just because Slytherins will not pour their heart out to anyone who knows them doesn’t mean they are soulless. Slytherins may act distant from the other houses, but why would they have any reason to share their feelings with anyone who thinks that they are evil? We always know what to say to our closest friends, and have such big hearts for those willing to put in effort to try and find out.
Okay so Slytherins may not be the most mellow, but like hell any non-slytherins would know, because if anything, we are good appearing calm and collected, but simmering with rage and hatred beneath the surface. Also, just because we fight fight for what we want instead of just waiting for the opportunity to fall into our lap doesn’t mean we’re hotheads.
Slytherin’s may voice their opinion when they think something is wrong, because someone needs to speak out, however only if we think it will give any impact, or benefit. If someone acting really homophobic, of course we will tell them to sit the fuck down and rethink their priorities, but if you do so every day, it will lose its effect. We pick and choose our battles.
Laid-back is definitely something that comes with age. If you look at the first year Slytherins, then yes, you could say that they are not at all laid back, stressing until 2am about a homework due the next day. However as they get older, the fucks being given get less and less, until eventually they have perfected the art of needing a constant base layer of stress to function, and can therefore relax and not think about their fast-approaching essay due date until the night before, whereas a hufflepuff is running up and down the library halls with stress. You see, every house procrastinates, but it takes talent to be able to relax while putting off work.
This is the last one, and I believe the worst. Yes, may protect their emotions, but that doesn’t mean we are not kind. it is about time that people stop predicting our entire personality on Severus Snape, a guy most Slytherins didn’t even like, just pretended to because duh, extra credit. Please stop dismissing us as unkind, just because we have a slightly cruel (but admittedly hilarious) sense of humor, or occasionally enjoy intimidating people. Everyone knows this can be fun, we’re just the only house to admit it. These small things aside, just because we are not kind to you, does not mean we are without kindness, it just means we didn’t think you were worth being kind too, especially if you come up with this sort of bullshit list and all of your prejudices.
"let me tell you what I know about the feminist history of petticoats and crinolines some time" - Please do! All I've ever seen in media is the "girl-ditches-hindering-petticoats-for-pants" or other variations
Ok! I only just learned about this through my historical dress class, which is why you haven’t heard me shouting about it before, but apparently—ok. Wait. Back up. You know the 1830s/1840s/1850s, right? That was The Time When People Dressed in a Very Silly Manner.
I mean, it’s kinda pretty? if you ignore the weird proportions and hats and bows? but it’s also just so FLOOFY. And that floofy look was achieved by layering many, many petticoats on top of each other, which made getting through doors hard and made life very heavy and hard-to-move-in, carting around so many pounds of so many different skirts every day.
^1830s ladies, all day every day.
But then, thanks to the whaling industry, some clever soul realized that you could achieve the same floofy shape, without the floofs, by approximating it in steel or whalebone or canvas. resulting in this sexy, minimalistic, easy shape:
As you can see, the wire bits hang naturally from the waist, and allow for a lot of legroom beneath the dress. And because the wires are in nice clean circles that can crunch up into each other like an accordion, it’s easy to sit down, kneel, readust, or rebend your skirts to fit the occasion. And because you can control the shape of the structure, you can control the shape of the skirt placed on top of it, allowing for the design of more streamlined skirt shapes that, while still very full and floofy, can push the floofs to the back and allow one to get through doorways.
This was a revelation to the ladies of the 1850s. Look at that top image again, and imagine, like, 5-10 huge cotton or linen or wool petticoats straining to hold it up, all the weight of which is hanging from your waist and catching up against your legs all the time. Ever held a pile of cotton? It’s heavy. Wool is worse. But then you get this circular frame on instead, and you’re only holding up ONE or TWO sheets of fabric—like, your actual skirt and then just one extra petticoat for decency—and the frame lets you SPIN and SIT and SQUEEZE AROUND THINGS and oh my god!! you can move!!!!!! The ladies could get outand do things. And you know what happens when women are able to get out of their houses—they go demanding the right to own property, and the right to vote, and the right to do cool things while wearing their crinolines.
So, the crinoline (and then, later, the hoop skirt): while today maybe we don’t want them, yesterday they were the latest thing to help women get up and out from under the patriarchy, by giving them an option that preserved their femininity but let them move in freer ways. Crinolines were a stepping stone. And when it comes down to it, that’s what feminism is, in all its imperfect striding towards perfection—one stepping stone after another, with the triumph of one year seeming like the peak of sexism the next. We shouldn’t always beat up the past for trying its best—cuz how will our descendants view our push-up bras and 6-inch heels, when all is said and done?