we want to put them in our pockets

listening to the adventure zone for the first time. I realized at ep. 21 that I wanted to compile some of my favourite qoutes (not just from characters). so here’s that (in no particular order. not even in order of appearance):

  • “abraca-fuck you”
  • “i’m really getting this cleric shit aren’t i”
  • “I’m not a nerd so I don’t know-” “we’re on a D&D PODCAST”
  • “let me tell you the story of the time an orc punched me so hard I almost died”
  • after griffin has been complimented for the quality of the campaign. “let’s wait and see how it ends, though, ‘cause lost seemed pretty good too”
  • “no i’m a flesh boy”
  • “i just don’t understand why me understanding the basic rules of dungeons and dragons is like an unfit way to spend our time”
  • every time taako mocked jenkins not using spell slots
  • “I have a beating heart! i’m- i’m multidimensional! i’m a fully realized creation. Fuck.”
  • let me promise you one thing- are we out of the zone of truth?” “yeah you’re long out of it” “everything’s going to be fine”
  • “my names not jerry its…. jereeeeee”
  • barabra telling taako (as jerry) he’ll walk him to the bathroom
  • “the second ruffian-” “give them names” “c-craig…ory?”
  • “magnus’ quest for vengeance just… ends” “and OURS BEGINS”
  • “there’s no vine you’ll never be able to not fuck”
  • “let’s try that again, and you say yes to my fucking bit”
  • “hot diggity shit, this is a baller cookie”
  • the entire section where they kept talking when mushrooms were giving off spores at the sound of their voices and kept having to roll constitution saving throws.
  • “that is your last thought as a two armed man”
  • everything starting with justin going “i’m going to cast a spell called eldrics black tentacles” and ending with “MY NAMES KRAVITZ”
  • ^side note: kravitz why did you actually give him your name when that was what he was asking
  • kravtiz “what the fuck is wrong with the three of you” when taako eats that crystal piece
  • unrelated to the above event  “oh no it’s a vore thing!”
  • “tell julia i said i love her”
  • “how’s elvis?” “…still alive”
  • “it sounds like you’ve given me an even better lesson- a new mystery to solve!” “oh fuck”
  • “blizzard can you get off my nuts for a second!”
  • “it’s seventh level……necromancy” *slightly distant, loud laughter*
  • “what was the last thing you said?” “i said i love you jules”
  • but it’s not… what julia would want. so i’m gonna have to pass”
  • the entire section where justin is being given the left or right choice and everyone is losing it bc he was literally told earlier in the arc
  • “this figure in the red robe… is you”
  • the entire section of taako convincing garfield to sell the sword to him for a useless item. (especially griffins “oh my god”s when he realizes what’s going on, and a quieter one a few seconds later)
  • “[….] he just looks like a smaller taako” “griffin- a taquito?”
  • “i’m gonna say the pocket workshop can only sustain 2 boys at once though, because i don’t want you to have an infinite bag of boys that you can just put boys inside”
  • “welcome… to the monster factory!” *laughter*
  • “flipping off is a free action”
  • griffin describing taako transforming, before saying “and turns into… a tyrannosaurus rex”
  • “i’ll be having my body back, you undead fuck”
  • “okay… you pee while holding two flame throwers”
  • “listen… light them the fuck up”
  • huh… i feel sad.  and he kills you”
  • “our capacity for love increases with every person we cross paths with throughout our lives and with each moment we spend with those people. ”
  • “it delighted in your company, magnus, and it still does.”
  • “today is going to be one of those memories”
  • “if she were to look under the table, she would see that his legs are visibly trembling in absolute panic”
  • “you are home… here… in cycle 99″
  • “sometimes there aren’t right decisions sometimes there are just… decisions.”
  • “when someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal” (and on)
  • “this is it…. this is it”
  • .”Those are the arms that have held my wife”
  • “i have nothing, and i don’t give a shit. the world is ending, and i don’t care”
  • “hell yeah, dungeons and dragons is back”
  • “no i’m gonna leave all that in” “no griffin no”
  • “should i talk slower so everyone who’s been complaining about us not playing d&d has time to nut?”
  • “You’re dating the grim reaper?!” 
  • “i’ve got magic powers.” “was that supposed to be some big reveal?” (and on)
  • “it’s upsy… your lifting friend” *laughter*
  • “i’m a wizard, my name is taako, and i’m pretty- well- fucked”
  • “no dogs on the moon”
  • “i’ll take one taco, with extra destiny” *laughter* “yeah, fuck it, i’ll teach taako how to make a taco”
  • “thanks for not ripping my arms off, magnus”
  • “whats up ghost rider”
  • “it says thanks for reuniting it with it’s kids […] and it says, you’re even”
  • the entire section of  “and __ walks over to __” during ep 68
  • “but that stops here”
  • “hear that babe? we’re legends”
  • “and then… you see john smile”
  • “i’m allowed to ask the dm one question, and he has to answer honestly” “alright go” “did you have fun doing the adventure?” “yes” “okay!”
  • “you know the best part of the fantasy costco? free samples”
  • “much like the best science on earth, you’re double blind”
  • “i reach into my fucking bag and grab my immovable rod. i’m not going fucking anywhere”
  • “you hear a voice through this rift say, you’re going to be amazing
  • “and then… light”
  • “Johann was right! We won!”
  • “i know about the silverware”
  • “sorry, so you want to be earl merle?”
  • “not just because you saved the world, but, because i know how hard you’re trying”
  • “we see you one last time, as… magnus rushes in”
  • magnus’ entire speech to carey
  • “that was the world you made, that was the ending you earned”
  • “the story of four idiots who played d&d so hard they made themselves cry”
Ambulance abusing drug dealer now gets frequent visit from the cops.

Here’s the back story: I work as a full time Paramedic in a moderately busy service. Recently we have have the pleasure, privilege and honor to be used as a taxi service for an extra special piece of shit, who calls 911 with a variety of fake complaints so he can get a “free” ride from his home 20 miles away to the hospital, where he typically refuses to even go inside and then will simply walk down the street and buy heroin he then takes home and deals to all of his piece of shit friends. Now, I say “free” because an ambulance bill can range anywhere from between $500 - $1000+ dollars depending on the nature of the call, miles driven, etc. One would think this is an expensive taxi ride, and it would be except that this douche nozzle has flat out said to us on multiple occasions that he has no intention of ever paying his bill, and since he has medicaid and has no medically necessary reason for going we won’t even get any money from insurance.

So refuse to take him, right?

Alas if only it were that simple… for those who don’t know, if you call 911 regardless of your complaint (heart attack or toe fungus) we have to transport you if you want to go.

A few weeks ago we went to pick this shit stain up when he called for “chest pain” (he is in his 20’s). We get there and he is standing on his deck, smoking a cigarette and laughing with a very unamused fire fighter. We start talking to him, and when I ask him what he is hoping the ER will do for him today, his response is “uhhhhhhhh… dunno, get evaluated?” Followed by a snarky laugh…

Now, he legitimately does have a history of a recent infection in his heart from using so much heroin himself, however he got booted out of the hospital that was trying to treat him when they caught him sneaking out to buy heroin and then using / deal from his room.

Fast forward back to the present. We (one of my partners and I) took him a couple weeks ago to a different hospital than he usually goes to, after a big long argument with him about his frequent trips and the fact that he has been sometimes refusing to even go inside the ER, telling crews that the nurses are mean to him, he doesn’t feel safe, ect and so forth, before walking out of the ambulance down the street to buy drugs. When I brought this up to him he got super pissy, accusing me of not believing he is sick (which I don’t, because he isn’t) and mistreating him because he is an addict, and blah blah blah.

On a whim I called the hospital he has been using as his designated go to right down the road from his suppliers, and I got a doctor who knew exactly who he was and what his bull shit angle is, and he told us to leave his ass there and not transport him! When he was informed of this he lost his shit, yelling and flipping furniture over and having an all around very amusing temper tantrum before slamming the door to his house.

Now the revenge: my partner I was working with that day told me that, while I was on the phone with the hospital, he went inside his house and came back out stuffing a knife in his pocket. I called our dispatch as well as supervisor and told them about douche canoe, his temper tantrum and knife. They called the Sheriff’s department, who also dispatches the fire department, and they put him on a “House Watch.” What this means is that, from now on, anytime that he calls 911, neither us nor the fire department will come until the police have gone first, regardless of what he is calling for.

Additionally, we talked with our medical director and he is now on a “Call Before You Haul” list, meaning anytime he wants a ride to the hospital we can call a doctor and get permission to refuse to transport him, even if he is requesting (or in his case demanding) transport.

“Heart Beats” - Scott McCall

(not my gif)
*hey guys, i’m back with a new imagine in honor of the end of teen wolf. so this turned out longer and crappier than i wanted but i hope you’ll enjoy it still. (ps. (Y/N) is a werewolf).

Scott and (Y/N) walked into the hallway of the high school. It was dark and empty – which is to be expected when you break into a high school in the middle of the night. All that could be heard were the footsteps of the two teenagers as they made their way further into the building.
“You know, this place really creeps me out.” (Y/N) stated as she shivered. “I’ve spent more time in here fighting evil creatures at night than I spent time in class during the day.” She added.
Scott shook his head and let out a quiet laugh.
“It won’t take long.” Scott reassured her. “We’ll be out of here before you know it.”
“I’m counting on it.” (Y/N) replied.

The two teenagers were on a mission to break into the guidance councelor’s office, Miss Monroe, hoping they would find proof of her involvement in the hateful murders which had been happening all around Beacon Hills lately. Someone was getting rid of all supernatural beings, one after the other, and Scott and his friends suspected Monroe to be behind it, or involved in any way.

When they reached Monroe’s office, Scott was surprised to see that the door wasn’t locked.
“Great. I was never good at picking locks. Because, you know, they make it look so easy in movies but-”
“Did you hear that?” Scott interrupted her.
“Hear what?” (Y/N) asked, frowning.
She used her supernatural hearing but all she could hear was Scott’s heart beating faster than it should. (Y/N) turned to him.
“Why is your heart beating so fast?” (Y/N) asked.
“What?” Scott said, confused. 
He felt himself blush. The truth was that being around (Y/N) always made his heart beat faster than usual.
“Why is your heart beat-”
Before (Y/N) could repeat her question, she felt an atrocious pain in her thigh and her eyes glowed a bright yellow as she roared loudly. The young girl fell onto her knees. Someone had shot an arrow in her leg.

Scott helped (Y/N) back on her feet and hurried inside the guidance councelor’s office before locking the door behind them. (Y/N) fell heavily onto the floor, her back against the wall.
“It was a trap.” Scott said, angrily. “They knew we were coming.” He said referring to the hunters.
Then, Scott remembered something. The hunters used all sorts of poisons to kill supernatural beings, which meant that the arrow they shot (Y/N) with was probably infected with wolfsbane, otherwise they would’ve targeted her head.
Without a warning, Scott pulled the arrow out of (Y/N)’s leg and she screamed in pain.
“How about a little warning next time, huh?” (Y/N) said out of breath and wincing in pain.
“The arrow is poisoned.” Scott said as he noticed a purple substance reflecting in (Y/N)’s blood, on the pointed end of the arrow.
“Wolfsbane.” (Y/N) said as she noticed it too. “That should explain the burning pain.”
“Here.” Scott held out his hand. “Let me take your pain.”
“No.” (Y/N) shook her head. “I’m good.”
“Come on, (Y/N). For once, let me take your pain.” Scott insisted.
In the past, (Y/N) had always refused to have her pain taken by Scott or any of her supernatural friends. She didn’t want to bring suffering on the people she loved.
“I said no.” (Y/N) said firmly.
She took her phone out of her pocket and Scott did the same.
“Great. No signal.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes.
“They must have jammed the signal in the whole building.” Scott sighed.
“So, we’re trapped here.”
“We have to get you to the animal clinic. Deaton can help take the wolfsbane out of your system.”
“We can’t leave. There must be dozens of hunters waiting for us to come out so they can put a bullet between our eyes.” (Y/N) explained.
“I can take them.” Scott said, getting up.
“Scott!” (Y/N) Grabbed his arm to hold him back. “They will kill you.”
“We don’t have a choice. Once the wolfsbane spreads to your heart…” It pained him to say the words but he forced himself to anyway. “You’ll die.”
“So will you if you walk out of this room.”

There was a short silence between them as they looked at each other. Scott’s eyes were full of worry for (Y/N)’s well-being an (Y/N)’s were begging him to stay right here with her.
After a moment of hesitation, Scott gave up his terrible plan to face the hunters alone and sat beside (Y/N)’s trembling body.
“How much does it really hurt?” Scott asked, quietly.
“Not much.” (Y/N) replied, trying not to wince.
“Tell me the truth.” Scott said.
(Y/N) looked at him but didn’t say anything. The truth was that the pain was making her body go numb, her head spin and her teeth chatter. She was breaking a sweat but was actually very cold. She was intoxicated with wolfsbane, a poison which had been made to kill someone like her, a werewolf, and she could feel it burn in her veins. But telling Scott the truth would cause him pain, and that’s the last thing (Y/N) needed: to cause pain to the person she loved.
Scott knew that (Y/N) was trying to be strong but he could see in how much pain she was in, and it broke his heart. He wanted to help her, to go out there and fight the hunters or die trying, but deep down he knew (Y/N) was right, it was a stupid plan and getting himself killed was not going to help (Y/N).

“You’re shaking.” Scott said. “Come here.” He opened his arms to hold his injured friend.
(Y/N) groaned, even the slightest movement was painful and spread a burning pain through her body. She rested her head on Scott’s chest and closed her eyes. Listening to his heartbeats was calming and peaceful. She knew she had to fight it but she wanted to go to sleep. And right now, the idea of letting go was very much pleasant.
“(Y/N), you have to stay awake, OK?” Scott told her. 
The current situation felt like a déjà-vu to Scott. The last time he had been holding a wounded girl – a girl he had been in love with, it was Allison and he had not been able to save her. Allison had died in his arms. Scott was not going to let history repeat itself, he couldn’t lose someone else he loved, he didn’t want to think of a world without (Y/N).
“OK.” (Y/N) replied as she slipped into unconsciousness anyway. Her body was on fire because of the poison in her blood.
“(Y/N)?” Scott called her name but got no response. “(Y/N), open your eyes.” He gently shook her but her eyes remained close. 
Scott was consummed by fear and worry. He could hear his own heart hammering against his chest.
“Come on, (Y/N). Not like this.” Scott said with a trembling voice.

Scott took (Y/N)’s hand in his and took away as much pain as he could bare. His veins turned black and he groaned in pain. (Y/N) opened her eyes as she could feel some of her pain disappear. When she realised what Scott was doing, she pulled her hand away.
“I told you not to take my pain.” (Y/N) said. Her voice was quiet and weak.
“(Y/N).” Scott said, relieved to see that (Y/N) had regained consciousness. “You scared me. You were gone for a moment there.” Scott told the girl, holding her tighter into his arms.
“I just closed my eyes for a second.” (Y/N) said, sugarcoating the situation.
“Right. Well don’t do that again.” Scott told her.
“Well don’t take my pain again or I will kick your ass, Scott McCall.” (Y/N) said which made Scott smile a little.

(Y/N) coughed and there was blood on her lips. Her eyes were glowing but the bright yellow Scott was used to seeing in her eyes was slowly fading away. Her body was fighting the poison, but her supernatural ability to heal was not enough.
Scott listened to her heart and it was beating agonizingly slow and the alpha was scared to stop listening to it in case it might cease to beat.
“Your heart is beating too slow.” Scott said. He looked like he was about to fall apart and it broke (Y/N)’s heart to see him like this.
“Yours is beating too fast.” She told him.
“Because I’m scared to lose you.” Scott confessed.
(Y/N) lifted her head from Scott’s chest and tried to sit up straight to look at him. He looked at her too, really looked at her. Her face was something he never wanted to forget.

Then, (Y/N) gently put her lips on Scott’s and kissed him. The alpha was surprised but kissed her back almost instantly. There were so many words said into this kiss. (Y/N) pulled away to breathe.
“Why did you do that?” Scott asked.
“You know why.” (Y/N) replied. “I love you, Scott. I am stupidly and deeply in love with you.”
Scott was lost for words. He was deeply in love with (Y/N) too, but the last time a girl told him she loved him, she had died in his arms seconds later.
“Don’t. Don’t say this like it was goodbye.” Scott said, fighting back tears.
“I’m not. I promise.” (Y/N) told him. “I’m going to fight, for you. Because you are worth fighting for, Scott McCall.” (Y/N) said, choking on her own blood.
She had never had to fight so hard to stay awake, to stay alive. Scott left a gentle kiss on her forehead and (Y/N) felt his tears fall onto her face. (Y/N) closed her eyes but opened them again when she heard gunshots outside the door. Scott tightened his embrace around (Y/N), wondering what the hell was going on out there.

Then, someone kicked the door open and Scott had never felt so happy to see Chris Argent.
“Come on. We’re getting out of here.” Argent said.
He helped Scott carry (Y/N) to the car and drove to the animal clinic.
“You’re gonna make it.” Scott told (Y/N) as he held her aching body in the backseat of Argent’s car.
“Listen to it.” (Y/N) said.
“Listen to what?” Scott frowned.
“Listen to my heart.” (Y/N) told him.
“Why?” Scott asked, confused.
“Because it’s still beating, and you, Scott McCall, are the reason why.”


College!au: Part 39/40

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 9.5 - Part 10 - Part 10.5 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 16.5 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 - Part 26 - Part 27 - Part 28 - Part 29 - Part 30 - Part 31 - Part 32 - Part 33 - Part 34 - Part 35 - Part 35.5 - Part 36 - Part 37 - Part 37.5 - Part 38 - Part 39 - Part 40

Your surprise for jimin is finally revealed and…lived.

Word Count: 2860

You were stood around a table, with all the things you had collected spread out in front of you. Yoongi was on your left and Taehyung was on your right. You looked at the items and then at the boys. “Hey Tae, why don’t you do it instead?” His soft chuckle vibrated against your eardrums, your eyes never left the items that lay on the table but you could feel the soft pitiful smiles that were directed towards you. “You can do this Y/N. It’s not like he’s going to reject you.” Yoongi’s words seemed to echo, he was right. Jimin wasn’t going to say no. But that didn’t mean he was going to like the surprise you had planned for him. Hell, did you even like it? You watch as Yoongi put the correct items into their designated bags. You didn’t realise how frantic your breathing was until you felt Taehyung’s hand on the small of your back. “What if he hates it all? What if he suddenly realised how lame I am and hates me forever?”

Keep reading

Back To You - Prologue

Jongin x you - CEO!AU
Genre: angst, romance, fluff (warning: cursing).

Treasure what you love, before it is gone forever. This might have been the toughest lesson Jongin ever had to learn in his life. If only he learned this lesson sooner.

10 years ago

“Was that the last box?” You asked as Jongin walked into the office all sweaty from moving boxes. But we don’t have money for movers, so no complaining.

“That was the last one.” His smile was sweet like honey, despite his tiredness.

You walked over to him and slipped your hands around his waist and held him tightly. He leaned forward and did the same thing, then pecked you on your hair. “We did it.”

You laughed. “I’m proud of you.” Your voice was muffled by his large chest.

“Don’t give me all the credit when you worked just as hard.” He released you and held you by the shoulders to look into your eyes. “And we’re going to make this business work, okay?”

You couldn’t keep your smile. He looked so passionate, so headstrong and so confident. “Okay.” You nodded.

Jongin’s hand slowly worked its way to your hand so he could entwine his fingers with yours. “And I swear that one day.. this..” He then moved it up to your face to make you look at the ring on your finger. “..will be exchanged for a big, luxurious and beautiful diamond, one that you deserve.”

Ever since you got engaged to Jongin until now after you’re married, he still talks about the ring he gave you, and how much he dislikes it. The day he proposed his words were: “I know this isn’t much, but I can’t wait any longer to get married to you. So… I promise to get you a nicer one once I get enough money. But can you just accept this for now?”

And you said yes.

“But I like this ring.” You smiled.

It was the best thing he could afford at the time. He has been trying to set up a startup even before you got engaged. It costs a lot of money and up until now, it hasn’t brought in any money in. Only now, after you helping him get funds he can finally do what he has been dreaming of: helping people.

You met Jongin in university while studying. He was the hot and geeky computer science guy, and you were a business major. He talked about setting up a startup. He came up with an algorithm that is able to detect whether a person is capable of self-harm by dialogue. If they are, authorities will be informed. You remember when he told you with this glimmer in his eyes: ‘It could save so many lives..’

“I want you to have better.” He cupped your face until cheeks were smushed together. “No… I want you to have the best!” He looked deeply into your eyes before whispering with a soft voice. “You gave up a lot for me and this business of mine… I have to repay you… my beautiful, smart, brave, cool and sexy wife.”

You hit his chest playfully. “Let’s just focus on your business first!” Then walked away with a sassy face.

“Come back here!” He laughed, chasing you through the new office. “Come here and accept my love!”

You threw your head back laughing. “Go away, cheeseball!”

His face fell dramatically. Jongin looks at you as if insulted. “Young lady! I think you need a spanking!”

Trying not to get caught you hid behind the sofa. Jongin on the other side gave you a smirk, confident he’ll catch you. He made a move, trying to trick you into running. Which you did. Before you could even get away from the sofa he had already climbed on it and caught you by the waist.

“Who did you call a cheeseball, eh?!” He tickled you, climbing over the sofa.

“Stop! Stop! Please!” You cried out.

He was too strong for you to break loose. “Only if you kiss me!”

“Okay, okay!” You grabbed his wrists and his attacks stopped. Then you pulled him in and gave him a peck.

“More.” He ordered.

So you leaned in again for another peck.

“A real kiss, baby.” He stared at your lips, then unconsciously licked his. You giggled at his neediness. This is how he would always do when together alone. In front of his friends he is always the alpha male, the guy who has his guard up, despite his charm. But with you there was no guard at all.

You felt needed.

“Egheam!” A loud cough stopped you before you could kiss your husband.

Jongin and you both turned your head to the source of the intruder. “Oh! Hey, Jongdae! Whatsup?” Jongin tried to hold his smile while releasing you before getting a lecture from Jongdae about appropriateness in offices. But Jongdae shouldn’t talk.

Everyone knows what kind of indecencies he has done in Junmyeon’s kitchen last year.

“I have the contracts you wanted ready, Jongin. I’ll leave them here.” He holds up a folder then proceeds to put it on a random table.

“Thanks, buddy.” Jongin smiles.

“I’ll be leaving then.” Jongdae waves and walks away. “Oh wait.” He walks back, fishes something out of his pocket and puts it down on the folder. “Just not in my office, okay?” He winks at you, then leaves - again.

“Asshole.” Jongin laughs.

I sit down on the sofa and I look around. This is going to be our office. Where we’ll have people working…

We worked on this startup for years.

His dream finally came true, he finally has his own company.

“It’s also yours, you know.” It seems like he knows what I’m thinking. "If it wasn’t for you, I’d never be here.“ 

Jongin always had a way of talking to you. You often think that he puts you on a pedestal, but you know that this is his way of loving you, treasuring you. “Yeah, you should be thankful for my help! I felt like I was drowning in paperwork!” You pout.

“And I will show my gratefulness tonight.” He winks and your insides feel like butterflies. “But in all seriousness, honey, I know we don’t have a lot of money but from this day on we’ll have it good.”

“As long as we’re together, I’m fine.”

Jongin kisses your head gently, “Silly, until death do us part, right?”

If only you could turn back time.

A/N: This was is surprise! What am I doing to myself, I haven’t even finished charming yet lol. I’m going to publish the first chapter of back to you soon! Tell me what you think! Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’ll correct it later!

Break up Prank Gone Wrong // Christian Yu

Originally posted by jisatsusakuru

Lately it’s like all Christian and I do is argue.Not about petty shit like who left what in the sink or who’s turn it was to take out the trash either.No,all our arguments have been surrounding one particular person in general and as much as I trust him I didn’t trust that bitch so when he came home two hours later than he told me he was smelling like cheap perfume,lipstick stains on his shirt collar and hickies on his neck I fucking lost it.

The only thing that stopped me was Dabin who kept trying to make peace between us.In the end I left and went to a friend’s house.A day turned into a week before he texted me telling me that we needed to talk.

“I’m not going Yuri.”  

“What do you mean you aren’t going? Supposing he wants to apologize?” She questioned. I know she won’t let me get out of this so instead of going back and forth I sighed and agreed to meet him.

Keep reading

Surprising Jared on Tour

Authors note: I’m sorry the intro is so long. It’s just setting the scene. Anyway as usual I hope you enjoy. x 


Jared Imagine.

Surprising Jared on tour.

“Y/N I miss you so much” Jared whined down the phone.
“I know I miss you too”
“We’ve been together a year and a half now and I swear it gets harder to leave you, beautiful”
“Well it sure doesn’t get any easier babe” I sighed.
“So how have you been” He carefully asked knowing things haven’t been the best lately as I’ve been filling him in via text.
“Honestly… not good. Tina, my boss, won’t accept my report. So she’s making me write out another plus one more because apparently I fucked up this one. My laptop is broken so now I have to work off of my phone which is horrible because the screen is so bloody small and… my new assistant keeps bringing her home life into work. She keeps fighting with her boyfriend, so he rings the office and shes constantly on the phone therefore I’m not getting any messages because clients cant get through to her and she’s slacking. So I stay at the office until 8 pm trying to pick up the pieces and have done for the last month” I feel the tears forming in my eyes and my voice cracks when I say “ and I just need a cuddle”. I hear Jared sigh on the phone. “Sorry babe, I’m just feeling sorry, for myself, I just miss you a hell of a lot that’s all”. 

Keep reading

Nothing Away
  • Series: Overwatch
  • Pairing: Boombox (Junkrat x  Lúcio)
  • Chapters: 10/10
  • Words: 10.835
  • Subject: sligthly alternated universe in which a fanboy Junkrat fucks everything up.
  • Check it also on AO3

@scarecroweyes wanted me to publish this so here it is :) 
It’s a ten-chapters-long fic that will probably either make you squeal or cringe or both so be prepared. Last warning, I like streams of thoughs.

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Haunted Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

“Another ghost?!”  Daesung shot up out of his seat and was halfway to the door before Youngbae caught him and pulled him back.

“Not here,” he said, pushing the taller man back into his chair.  “You’re safe Daesungie.”

Daesung relaxed slightly but kept a wary eye on you, like you were going to suddenly start pulling ghosts out of thin air and throwing them at him.

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Fic: “Time and Again”

1973 and 2010–two boys look out for their younger sisters.  AU, rated G.  Also here at Ao3.



The children are playing in the yard.  It’s a cool November day, and most of the leaves have already fallen.  Samantha is trying to collect them, but they keep blowing off in the wind.  A particularly bright red leaf just escapes as she tries to grasp it, and she stamps her foot in frustration.

“What’s wrong?”  Fox is standing beside her, looking on as she reaches for another leaf.

That one darts away too.  “They keep blowing away,” she says, angrily.

“What do you want them for, anyway?” he asks.  

“We have a project,” Samantha says.  “In my class.  We’re supposed to get as many different kinds of leaves as we can and glue them in our notebook.  Whoever has the most different ones gets a prize.”

“Is it a good prize?” he asks.  

“Yeah,” she says.  “Ice cream. So I want to win.”  They share an understanding grin.  “But the stupid leaves keep blowing away.”

“Here,” he says.  “I’ll help you get them.  And I’ll put them in my pockets when we’ve caught them, so they don’t blow away again.”

“Okay,” she says.  “Thanks.” They chase after the leaves, both of them now; he’s a faster runner than she is, quicker to catch them.  They collect handfuls to sort, leaves from the different trees, leaves in all colors.

Teena stands on the back steps, watching them; she turns as she hears Bill approaching.  He watches the children for a moment too.  “What are they doing?”

“Collecting leaves,” she says.  “Samantha has a project.  Fox is helping her.”  He nods at that, so peacefully, so placidly.  She could slap him.  “You’re not going to do this,” she says, keeping her voice quiet, because the children aren’t far away.  “You’re not. You can’t be.”

“I don’t have a choice,” he says.  He could be talking about what they’re going to have for dinner, for all it affects his voice.

“Of course you have a choice,” she says.  “How can you say that?  Just because you want to give in and…and…”  She struggles for the words.  “Just look at them,” she says finally.  Maybe that will get through to him, the way the two children are smiling now, Fox helping Samantha collect leaves.  If he doesn’t understand now, she doesn’t know how she can make him.

“I am looking,” he says, and she knows it’s not enough, that somewhere back there they started down a path there’s no turning back from.  

That doesn’t mean she has to agree to it.  “I can’t believe you’re doing this to us.”  It doesn’t express the half of what she’d like to say.

“I’m not the only one,” he says, “who’s gotten mixed up in this.” His eyes are still on Fox.

She can’t speak, can’t answer that.  But when he looks at his watch and takes a step towards the children—it’s almost time for lunch—she finds her voice.  “Stop,” she says.  “Let them finish.”

Bill listens to that, at least.  They both stand there and watch until the children have all the leaves they can carry and come running towards the house, Samantha grinning from ear to ear.



The children are playing in the yard.  Amy has already climbed into the big tree, pulling herself from branch to branch.  William’s just started up too, but he stops when he catches sight of Laura, still standing at the bottom, looking distinctly dubious.  “You want to climb up with me and Amy, Laura?”  Laura shrugs.  “You’re not sure?”

“It’s so high,” she says.  At four, the girls are still small, particularly compared to their brother, and even more so compared to the tree.

William nods.  “It is pretty high,” he says.  “It’s  pretty easy to climb, though.  And it’s fun.”

“I might fall,” she says, her voice quiet.  

“No, you won’t,” William says.  “But if you want to try it, you can go first, and I’ll go right behind you. And if you do fall, I can catch you. But you won’t fall.”

Laura looks at him for a moment, and then she squares her small shoulders and says, “Okay.”  She starts up, her brown braids swinging behind her, and William follows her closely.

Scully’s come out of the house just in time to witness this last scene, but Mulder’s there already, sitting on the steps and watching the children.  She takes a seat next to him, looking at his face. His expression is part contentment and part melancholy, and she puts an arm around his shoulders, gently, companionably.  She thinks she knows what’s on his mind.

He doesn’t say much, but she didn’t really need the words, anyway. “They remind me, sometimes.  Of when I was growing up…”

“Well, that’s not the strangest thing in the world,” Scully says. “He’s a lot like you, you know.” William looks the most like her of the three children—Amy’s more of a mixture, and Laura looks exactly like Mulder, if Mulder were a four-year-old girl—but there’s so much of his dad in his personality: his inquisitiveness, his determination, his kindness.  And that kindness is so often on display when he’s with his sisters.  They don’t get along perfectly every minute, of course, but when the twins were born, William seemed to have decided that it was his job to help take care of them. Moments like the one they’ve just seen aren’t uncommon with him.

Mulder half smiles at her.  “Thanks. I don’t know that I was ever as good with Samantha as he is with them, to be honest.”

She tightens her arm around him.  “Mulder, I don’t think there’s anyone who knows you,” she says, “who wouldn’t say that you were a good brother.”

He kisses her at that, and they sit quietly for a minute or two, nestled against each other.  “It’s not a bad thing,” he says, eventually.  “Being reminded, I mean.  It’s just…”  He trails off, thinking, and finally shrugs.  “It’s just a thing.”

“I know,” she says.  Perhaps she doesn’t know this exact feeling, but she thinks she knows enough; they’ve both had their share of loss, and they understand how that’s shaped them, the spaces they can fill for each other and the spaces they can only respect.  They both know the way that sorrow can sometimes coexist with happiness like this, with a beautiful autumn day and all of them together, the two of them and their three miraculous children, with the life they’ve made against all odds.  

“I wonder if she would have had a family,” Mulder muses, and Scully can’t answer that, of course.  In Mulder’s memories, Samantha is arrested at eight; he can’t know who she might have been some day, what she might have thought or done.  When she lives on, it is in scenes like this.

Scully doesn’t say anything, but it doesn’t seem like she needs to.  Mulder shakes his head and smiles, then presses his cheek against hers.  “Look,” he says, pointing.  The children are all up in the tree now, huddled together in a nook among the branches.  She can hear them laughing.

"Thank God for our ancestors and making vibrating panties." A Bellamy Blake smut

Bellamy looked around the room of archives they had stored from that was salvageable from the Ark now on Earth. He was bored and his girlfriend (Y/n) didn’t get off from her shift at her job for another hour and a half. He was whistling as a he scanned the words on the boxes.
The whistle died on his lips as he scanned a box. Staring at the box. Brushing some of the dust of off it. He red the label and his eyes widened.
‘Sex Toys’
He looked around, even though no one would know of its disappearance. He slowly took off the lid. Inside there was a vibrator, a vibrating cock ring, tongue vibrator, restraints, a whip, and some underwear with a remote control? He was confused. Picking up the remote and wondered if it still worked. He pressed a button and it roared to life. The panties in the box vibrating wildly.
“Holy shit.” He muttered. He smirked deviously. He knew what to do.
“Bell? Are you in here?”
“Yes baby. And I have a gift for you.” Bellamy smirked as he walked up to (Y/n) caressing her shoulders before kissing her.
“Mhm. Sweet gift baby.” She winked with a giggle. He rolled his eyes.
“That’s not the gift.”
“Oh?” She raised a brow.
“Close your eyes. Let me take care of you. Okay?” He murmured as he stroked her face. She eyed him suspiciously. He grinned before she hesitantly closed her eyes. Bellamy picked the whip up.
“Take off your shirt. Please…baby girl.” She moaned slightly at the nickname. She took off her shirt and bra before Bellamy slowly walked up to her. Running the whip down her spine teasingly. She gasped when it made a slapping noise on her ass. Spinning around to face Bellamy. Who had a shit eating grin.
“B-Bellamy!” She whispered. She was turned on to say the least. But where the hell did he find a whip?!
“You are never going to guess what I found in the archives.” He sounded like a child.
“Go look in that box baby.” He murmured as he kissed her shoulder. She walked over and her eyes widened at all the toys. Vibrators, restraints and a cock ring? Wait…why the hell were random pair of underwear in there?!
“You…want to use these?” She turned to face him. He grinned like a child who got the last piece of candy.
“All of it.” He stated as she stared at his shirtless form.
“Okay boss man. Where do you want me first.”
“First. I want your sexy ass,” he swatted her butt with the whip “to go put on the underwear.” She giggled.
“Okay baby. I’ll be back.” As soon as she left, he dove for the restraints. Tying them to the walls and when he stood back up she came out. His cock hardening as he reached into his pants pocket. Pressing the highest setting on he remote.
“Bell, these underwear are-OH MY GOD.” She screeched. He smirked. As he pressed the off button.
“Thank god for our ancestors or we wouldn’t have vibrating panties. Huh baby girl.”
“I-” he cut her off by pressing the middle setting.
“Get over here and lay down. Let daddy tie you up.” He winked. She shakily walked over and laid down on the bed. He tied her hands and left her legs alone. Watching her squirm and squeal when he bumped it up.
“God this is so hot.” He moaned as he reached inside his pants. Pumping his cock. Watching her back arch and he scooped up the vibrator. Cranking it up and placing it on her nipple. She crashed onto the bed as her eyes shot open. Her jaw dropped as she stared at him.
“B-be-BELLAMY.” She cried.
“You have to beg to let go baby.” He coped.
“Please daddy. I want to cum.” She cried as her body convulsed.
“You better not ruin your new panties.” He growled as he ripped his pants down before yanking her underwear off. All but shoving his cock into her. What she didn’t know is the vibrator still on her nipples. Wasn’t on its full setting. She found this out when the vibrator moved to her other nipple.
“Fuck! Oh my god.” She screamed as her vision was white. Bellamy didn’t waste any time as he pounded into her. He threw the vibrator off and took the whip from the side of the bed. Slapping her nipples with it as she cried out.
“Aw is some sluts nipples too sensitive for that?!” He teased. With that he didn’t expect her to explode all over him. Which caused him to blow his load at her abruptness. The couple collapsing on one another.
“We…we have to do that…again.” He panted.

“His pink bow tie”. [Tom/Jared - One shot]

Summary: Tom becomes jealous when his fiancé runs into her ex, Jared, at the White House Correspondents’ dinner.

Written by: A.Wölf.



She and Tom had arrived at the White House correspondents’ dinner party.

The place was packed. Celebrities, politicians, reporters, and friends and family of the President and the first lady roamed around looking for their tables.

She and Tom took their seats.

A couple hours had gone by, all the guests had dined.

As the president took the podium, her eyes traveled all around the room before landing on a pair of blue eyes that stared back at her.

All the memories rushed back to her mind and she, without thinking, squeezed Tom’s hand a little harder under the table, getting his attention.

Jared Leto, her ex-boyfriend, was sitting a few tables away staring intently at her. Her heart raced, she hadn’t seen him in years and yet he looked just like she remembered him.

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*oops, made a mess* “It’s your job! I’m creating job security :)))”

Leaving items everywhere is not creating job security. Leaving messes and not alerting someone to them and offering to help clean them up is not, in any way, making sure we keep our jobs. We are not your babysitters. We are not your care-takers. We are not your parents. It is not our job to clean up after messes you deliberately make, we are not responsible for you.

Of course, as with any incident, there are circumstances to take into account. If you are not able to clean up a mess you made for any valid reason (disability, health concerns, time constraints, etc.) fine, we get it. Accidents happen, let us know that you are unable to help and we will take care of it. No harm done.

If you deliberately take things off of the shelf and leave them strewn about the store because in some twisted way you believe you are helping us- do us a favor and don’t help us.

If someone says that they will take an item that you do not want and you REFUSE because you want someone else later to pick it up and you think you’re doing us a favor by filling up our time that surely can’t involve anything other than picking up after you, don’t touch anything in our store.

Seriously, hands in your pockets, no touching.

Contrary to popular belief, we have other things to do than clean up after you. Believe it or not the sum of our jobs is not putting things back where they belong after someone leaves them around for their own amusement.

We have freight to unload, prices to change, signs to print, CUSTOMERS TO ASSIST (gasp!), price checks to run, inventory to take, dates to check, layouts to change, calls to answer, online orders to pack, etc. All you are doing is making our jobs harder and for the piddly hours and minimum wage we work it’s seriously not worth it. It’s not worth it to put up with people like you all the time.

“But I’m the customer, you have to take care of me.”

Within reason, yes. But if you are a nuisance we won’t give you our best customer service, we will in fact give you the bare minimum to keep our bosses off of our backs and instead focus our energy on helping other customers who might give us a good review because we know that people like you, no matter how well we service you, are never going to be satisfied and will always find something to complain about.

Also, if you are particularly unruly, we can and will keep you from our store. We can make sure that other stores know not to deal with you or put up with any of your unreasonable demands either.

anonymous asked:

Hey! xx I am loving your stories! Can you write a short something where Oli brings his gf on holiday with his family to introduce them and ends up vlogging and introducing her to his fans too?? Oli snuggles are always a plus. <3

“Oli, are you sure about this?”

He nodded and smiled reassuringly, “My family will love you, don’t worry, Y/N.”

As you both stepped off the plane, Oli grabbed your hand and gave it a tight squeeze. Holding his hand made you feel a bit better and you both continued through into the airport to where your baggage you come through. He grabbed his vlogging camera out as you walked. Angling it so that only he would be in the shot, he talked to it briefly about landing and going to find bags. You leant away from him while he spoke, used to hiding from the camera.

Oli and you had been dating for close to a month now. This would be the first time you had met his family (other than James, his brother) properly before. One of Oli’s cousins were getting married in Hawaii and so he had invited you along as his date. You were slightly nervous because while you had spoken to Oli’s parents with him over Skype, meeting them face to face was different. Then there was also his extended family to think about as well. At the same time, you had both agreed to keep your relationship private and away from the view of fans. You would announce it when you were both ready, Oli had decided.

“Oli! Y/N!”

You both looked up from where you were getting your bags off the carousel to see James running towards you. He gave his big brother a big hug before also giving you one. You grinned, James was already like a little brother to you. He led you over to where his parents stood, smiling.

“Hi, how are you two?” you asked with as friendly as your smile could be.

“Oh don’t be nervous, dear,” his mother laughed.

His dad laughed too, “Yes. But we are well, thank you for asking.”

“Hi Mum, Dad,” Oli said, reaching to give them each a quick hug. “Thanks for waiting for our flight.”

It had turned out that the three had caught a flight only an hour before you from London. When they had arrived, they thought that they may as well wait for the two of you to travel to the hotel together. It was very nice of them and made all the traveling a bit more convenient for everyone. You all piled into the maxi taxi that Oli had managed to get. Oli’s dad sat in the front passenger seat, his mother and James sat behind him, and Oli and you had the back row to yourselves.

Beginning to vlog again, Oli said to the camera, “Okay, so I’m now in the taxi on the way to my hotel!”

Later that afternoon, once you had settled into your room, Oli took you down to meet as many of his extended family he could find. It went fairly well, you would report but Oli would say it was great. He thought you were amazing with his family; his grandparents, little cousins, aunts and uncles all loved you. You managed to stay true to yourself and that’s all he wanted. Oli and you spent a long time just socialising and chatting with respective members of his family. Eventually, you both ended up strolling along the beach on your own.

“You were great,” Oli said, reaching over to wrap an arm around your waist. “Really, you were!”

You just smiled and leaned into his warm chest, as you felt the sand crease through your toes. You were pretty tired after the long flight and excessive interactions, but it had been a nice day; especially because you got to spend so much of it with Oli.

“You know,” he started again, looking down at you. “I think it’s time for the fans to officially meet you. What do you think?”

You stopped him from walking further and turned to face him with a smile, “Do you really think so?”

He just nodded and pulled you in for a hug. Oli then pulled out the ever present camera from his pocket.

“Hey, guys! So update. I’m here walking on the beach with this lovely lady, Y/N. Be nice to her, she’s a special one.”

“Hi, everyone!” you cheered, before snuggling closer into Oli’s chest. “You can edit this out if you want, Ol.”

“Now, why would I do that? We need to give them something to screenshot and put all over tumblr. What can our ship name be?”

Yay! This one was super cute, hard to write but super cute! (That’s why it’s a bit short sorryyy) Hopefully it’s what you wanted xx

The Devout and the Heretic: Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jack smiled as Gabriel met them at the door to the church. “You cleaned up,” he commented.

“I put a shirt on that wasn’t a graphic tee,” Gabriel chuckled as he put his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “I know what I’m supposed to wear to one of these things.”

“Good,” Jack smiled as Blaire glared at Gabriel. “Come on; we take our seat up at the front.”

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Fandom:  Arrow

Pairing:  Oliver Queen x reader

Summary/Request:  Can I request a arrow imagine? A fight between Oliver and reader, and reader walks out but Oliver tries to make it up? With lots of fluff? - Anonymous

Word Count:2618

“OK, Oliver I’m picking up three heat sensors moving your way. Leave the laptop and get your ass outta there.”

“I only need two minutes.”

“Oliver, you don’t have two minutes! Get out dumbass.”

He ignored you, yet again, and you heard groans and yells. Through the security cameras, you could see the men close in on Oliver. He strapped his bow back on his back and started to throw punches. Two more men moved in and joined the fight making it five on one. This was one of the rare occasions where Oliver was failing. The two of you decided to do a quick off the books op which was failing without dig and Thea. You didn’t know what else to do besides setting off the sprinklers. It then occurred to you.

“Electricity is going out in 19 seconds, I have a 7-second window before their backup generators come into effect. Get your ass home.”


You quickly hacked through and shut off their power supply. Through the comms, you could hear Oliver zip up to the roof.

“Keep a medical kit ready”

“I already know”

Fifteen minutes later he came hobbling into the Arrow Cave. He sat down on one of the metal beds before you began to inject and bandage him in silence.

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Title: 11:11

Pairing: Reader x Dean

Word count: 3,531

Theme song: 11:11 by In This Moment, Soldiers by Otherwise

This is part 2 to Riptide PLEASE READ IT FIRST! 


Your name: submit What is this?


“Dean, wake up! Dean,” you whispered right next to his ear, pushing him a little bit as you spoke.

“I’m awake,” he said, eyes still closed.


“I am. What’s up?” he asked.

“It’s almost 11:11,” you smiled down at him, propping your hand on his chest.


“Make a wish,” you said, leaning close to his ear once more. You pushed your hands underneath his back, feeling him flinch a little at their temperature, but his lips curled up into a smile.

“I wish you’d stop using me as your personal heater,” he said.

“No you don’t.”

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Hurricanes (Bucky x Reader)

Word count: 700

               You and Bucky snuggled on the couch, watching the latest episode of your favorite show on Netflix. It was a stormy night, and hurricane Matthew was only going to get worse from here. Your whole life you had hated storms, and it didn’t help that it was your first time vacationing to Florida, and a stupid fucking hurricane decided to make an appearance. “Hey Bucky.” You whispered, looking up at the man you were snuggling. He looked down at you, trying to pay attention to you and the screen. “Don’t you think the hurricane is scary?”

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Lost in Time

Here is the prologue to my new AU! Whoo! Very short and vague, I know. I have actually written a lot of this story and will start posting weekly. So, I guess these updates will be on Monday! The original Anon prompt, which I seem to have deleted (Sorry!), was that Claire was pregnant with twins when she went back through the stones before Culloden. So, here is my interpretation of that. Enjoy!

“Mama, I’m scared.”

“I know, baby. I know.”

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going…home.”

“Home? But home is where we left!”

“It’s not there anymore. Remember the bombs? This is our other home, Lallybroch. It’s safe. You’ve never seen this home before. Your… father is there.”

“But, you said Daddy was gone!”

“Frank, yes. This is your real father, remember?”

“Our rweal Daddy is in the stone?”

“In a way, loves. Now, promise to not let go of my hand or each others. Hold tight.”

“I Promise.”   “Prowmise, Mama.”

“Do you have the pearls?”

“Yes, in my pocket. I won’t lose them!”

“Now, I want both of you to put your hand on the stone the same time I do, ready?”

“I’m scared!”  “The stones are screaming!”

“I know, loves. But just trust me. I won’t let anything happen to you both. Ready?”




Continued here