we used to talk in the middle of the night

Q&A blood vs love

rorochan92 said:

Hi, Cassie! :) I’m rereading Nothing But Shadows, and I have a question – hopefully you’ll be able to answer! So… we know that, while in the Academy, Jem met with James. But did he talk with Alastair, too? I feel like that spoiled brat could use some advice. If not – has Jem ever even met his cousins before? Is he still close to the Carstairs? Thank you for your books and your characters!

Mild spoilers for Last Hours below!

In Nothing but Shadows, Brother Zachariah/Jem visited James in the middle of the night because James was in need, and because Zachariah was summoned to do so by the Dean of the Academy, who had no real idea how to deal with James’s peculiar nature, and wanted the guidance of the Silent Brothers. Jem was certainly glad to be there, because he loved James, and was concerned for him. But it was not his idea to come. He was brought there in an official capacity:

And the presence of a Silent Brother in the Academy meant nothing good. Father was always inventing excuses for Uncle Jem to come to them—once he had claimed a flowerpot was possessed by a demon. But this was Idris, and a Silent Brother would be summoned to Shadowhunter children only in a time of need.

There seems to be an idea circulating that Jem should be spending more time with the people of his bloodline, specifically the Carstairs. That is an odd attitude to have about Jem, though, because the ethos that shared DNA matters more than love, dedication or actions isn’t really congruent with his ethics or his stated beliefs. Yes, the Carstairs are his family, but so are the Herondales, and he doesn’t have a history of privileging shared DNA over shared history.

For instance: Elias offered to take Jem in after he was orphaned, but as the two were never close, Jem chose not to go, because he’d already found a home (and a parabatai) at the London Institute. From Clockwork Princess:

“James spoke of you,” said Elias. “After I left China, when I returned to Idris, I asked if he would come and live with me. But when I asked him if he would come to me in Idris, he said no, he could not. I asked him to reconsider. Told him I was his family, his blood. But he said he could not leave his parabatai, that there were some things more important than blood.”

From Jem’s perspective, the parabatai ceremony made him family with the Herondales. He would scoff at the idea that Alastair is more related to him than James in much the same way that an adopted child wouldn’t have much time for the idea that their biological parent was their family in a way their adoptive parent wasn’t. In Jem’s view, the Herondales are his family (not his only family — and not to the detriment of the Carstairs, imho, but they are his family). Part of the message of all of the Shadowhunter books is that blood isn’t love. The Fairchilds and Herondales and even the Lightwoods have done a lot for Jem in his life, where the Carstairs have done relatively little. Elias respected Jem’s decision not to live with him, but as we know, afterwards, he wasn’t particularly good at keeping in touch. 

Of course, Jem would never blame Alastair and Cordelia for the indifference of their progenitors; however he does have a hard time actually getting to see them. Silent Brothers aren’t allowed to come and go as they please. Their movements are circumscribed; they are expected to go wherever they are sent, and return to the Silent City when their mission is completed, with no dilly-dallying about. It was much easier for Jem to visit the London Institute than it would have been for him to chase down the Carstairs family as they traveled in Persia and France.

There’s also the larger issue that after Jem became a Silent Brother, Elias actually worked actively to keep Brother Zachariah away from his family, which you’ll learn more about in the Last Hours.

In spite of their father’s wishes, Cordelia did develop a friendship with Jem, one that deepens over the course of the Last Hours. But Jem has had a more contentious relationship with Alastair. Alastair has always been creeped out by the Silent Brothers, and especially by the idea of being related to one. He tries to avoid Brother Zachariah whenever possible, to the extent of telling people that Jem isn’t his relative, so you can imagine that Alastair would not exactly be pleased to be woken by him in the middle of the night for a surprise visit!

Could Alastair use some other influences in his life? Older, wiser souls to give him advice? Yes, he could. But Jem wouldn’t be his top choice for the role. Alastair is just a kid in Nothing But Shadows, and he has a lot of growing up to do. Jem would be sympathetic to that, but Alastair is the one who has rejected him, not the other way around. 

Drive

Halsey song lyric imagine

wordcount: 2.1k

Summary:  Y/N and Jughead take a long drive out of Riverdale for a road trip and discover their hidden feelings for each other 

Warnings: swearing, slight smut, drinking

‘Swerving on the 405, I can never keep my eyes off this’

We’d been driving for hours, we didn’t even know where we were going anymore, or what were running from. The sudden impulsive decision to get out of town and take a road trip was decided by Jughead. He had been distressed at school lately and said he had a lot of stuff going on in his head, and he needed to get away. 

Me being the good friend I am, and caring a great deal for him, didn’t want him to be alone so I decided to make the offer on taking him away for a while. 

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story time!

So my father is a teacher, and every now and again he comes home with stories for my family, and usually, they’re really fantastic.

A few nights ago, we’re all at the dinner table eating, and somehow the topic of fidget spinners comes up. My brother tells us that a teacher confiscated a classmate’s spinner, we were talking about how they were everywhere, and then my dad says that he has a story.

“Now, don’t ever do this,” he says, multiple times. “But I was in my classroom, and all of a sudden my students told me to look out the window, and outside there was a student balancing a fidget spinner on his middle finger.”

Needless to say, my brother and I lost our shit, but for two very different reasons. My brother just thought it was funny because haha, someone flipped the bird. I thought it was funny because what better encapsulation of every ADHD and autistic person’s feelings towards neurotypicals than

sleep

Derek hasn’t slept for more than an hour or two at a time since Laura died. He’s running on anger alone, and he thinks that it’s probably enough. He shifts into his beta form when the weariness gets too bad to function—when he stumbles, when he sways, when he reaches for something and misses—and uses the wolf’s energy to supplement the weaker human’s. It’s not sustainable, probably, but what the hell does Derek care about that? Because the alternative…

The alternative is stopping, and taking a breath, and facing up to the fact that he’s alone, that his entire pack is dead, and everything that happened is his fault.

So, no.

No stopping. No thinking. No resting.

The first time it happens, Derek has gone to Stiles’s house to talk to him about Scott. Scott is a werewolf now, but he’s resisting everything that means including Derek—especially Derek—and Derek knows the only way to get him to see reason is to get Stiles on side. And Stiles seems smart, and practical, even if he is more than a little weird and twitchy.

So Derek goes to his house.

The sheriff’s cruiser is in the drive, so Derek climbs in Stiles’s bedroom window. Which, by the way, is becoming a habit he should probably break sooner rather than later. Stiles’s bedroom door is shut, but the room is empty.

Derek can hear him babbling away to the sheriff downstairs. The sheriff doesn’t sound like he’s contributing too much. Just the occasional affirming noise that encourages Stiles to keep going.

Derek huffs, and glares around Stiles’s bedroom.

He taps the trackpad on Stiles’s laptop, and the screen opens. It’s password protected. Derek types “I TALK TOO MUCH”, but that’s not the password, apparently. Then he types “LYDIA” and isn’t too surprised when it doesn’t work. Stiles might be obsessed with the girl, but everyone knows it, and who’d be stupid enough to pick such an obvious password as the girl he’s crushing on?

There’s a half empty can of Coke on Stiles’s desk. Derek drinks it.

He sits down on Stiles’s bed and stares at the posters on the wall.

The bed is comfortable. The mattress is firm, but not too hard. Derek can’t remember the last time he lay on a mattress, so he lies down and stretches out. Takes a deep breath and fills his lungs with the scent of Stiles—grotty teenage boy, and stale sweat with an undertone of Bengay, but also something clean and earthy like petrichor—and promptly passes out.

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Silence

Characters:  Dean x Reader

Summary:  Drabble about Dean and reader sharing a bed on the job.

Word Count:  877

Warnings:  Smut/Language

The semi-trucks rolling down the highway make the windows rattle in the motel room. The room is dark, the mattress lumpy. For the last three weeks, I’ve been on the road, staying in motel after motel. We haven’t been to the bunker since we started this case. For three weeks, I’ve shared a bed with one of the Winchesters, alternating beds every night to make things fair.

For the last three weeks, something has been happening in the bed I share with one of the Winchesters. Dean, specifically. Tonight, I’m  hyper aware of his body next to mine, of the way his foot touches mine, the way his hand strokes the small of back. His breath ghosts over my neck for a moment, just before his lips meet my skin. I’m also completely aware of the fact that Sam is in the opposite bed. I listen to his breathing, waiting for the reassuring sound of his sonorous snores. I know Dean is waiting for the same sound.

We haven’t once talked about it, about what we do under the cover of darkness. Not in the bright daylight, not over coffee and research. The topic is mutually and silently agreed upon as taboo. When the sun comes up, we go back to being us - coworkers-slash-friends. I guess that I should add ‘with benefits’ to that list, because it definitely seems like a benefit, what we’re doing.  

It all started by accident, I guess. I woke up in the middle of the night to find Dean pressed up against my back, an arm slung around my waist. I must have been having one hell of a dream, because I woke up seriously aroused. Like panty-drenching arousal. Maybe the dream was inspired by his closeness, the intimacy of our nocturnal cuddling. Even now, I don’t know if he was awake at that moment, or if he only woke up because I shifted to face him.  

I didn’t have any ulterior motive or any intention, it just…happened. Dean made a quiet moan-like noise and pulled me closer to him, his chest pressed to mine. We laid there in silence for what seemed like an eternity, our mouths a fraction of an inch apart. There was so much tension in that moment, his breath mingling with mine, heat filling the space between us.  

I remember that feeling, that anticipatory feeling. Would he kiss me? Should I kiss him? Will we remain in this stand off until we both fall asleep and pretend this never happened?

And then we kissed. It began as a soft kiss, graduating slowly to something more explosive, a deep, searing kiss. Dean’s hand slipped under the waistband of my shorts, his fingers slipping into me. Everything was fast and urgent, his fingers pumping into me, his mouth smothering my gasps. We didn’t speak, we tried to not to make a sound, aware of Sam’s presence only feet away.

When his fingers withdrew, slick with my arousal, I slipped my shorts off. He followed suit, removing his pants before climbing on top of me, my legs parting to welcome him.  In the heat of the moment, I was only dimly aware of the slight creaking of the bed springs as Dean moved inside me, his mouth next to my ear, whispering encouragement.

Dean, as a lover, was far more tender than I expected. He took his time, he moved with me, his lips blazing a trail of kisses wherever they met my skin. Nearly silent sex, it’s seriously fucking hot. It’s a challenge, trying not to gasp or moan or sigh or scream.  

When we finished, there was more silence. We didn’t talk about what had just happened. We didn’t talk about whether or not it would happen again. Dean cuddled up behind me and gently ran his hands over my ribs, down my arms. Eventually, he kissed my temple and rolled away, drifting off to sleep.

Every other night, for the past three weeks, we’ve done this.  In complete and total silence.

So I lay here, now, with Dean at my side. Sam’s not yet snoring, so the fact that Dean’s hand is down my pants and mine is wrapped around his cock makes things more exciting, more dangerous. It’s like a silent dare, who can stay the quietest. I bite my lip to hold back a moan and feel Dean’s lips on my earlobe. “Shh,” he whispers, so faintly that only I can hear it. I’m trying not to buck my hips because I’m greedy for more.  

God, I’m so fucking horny right now. All I want to do is climb on top of Dean and fuck the shit out of him. But that’s what makes it all the more desirable, the sex, I have to wait. I have to hold out until we’re sure Sammy is asleep. Jesus, what’s taking him so long?

Like I said, we won’t talk about this tomorrow. I don’t know what’s going to happen when we get back to the bunker, back to our own beds. I don’t know what Dean is thinking. I don’t even know what the hell I want out of this.

All I know is I want Dean deep inside me, and I want it now.

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Signs as Sylvia Plath quotes
  • Aries: I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.
  • Taurus: I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery mountains, trees, people.
  • Gemini: The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence.
  • Cancer: Please don't expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.
  • Leo: Kiss me, and you will see how important I am
  • Virgo: What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.
  • Libra: How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into.
  • Scorpio: I must get my soul back from you; I am killing my flesh without it.
  • Sagittarius: I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night...
  • Capricorn: If I didn't think, I'd be much happier; if I didn't have any sex organs, I wouldn't waver on the brink of nervous emotion and tears all the time.
  • Aquarius: I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.
  • Pisces: You are a dream; I hope I never meet you.
The Side

When I met him he was with her. Like she was standing right next to him & I didn’t care. I didn’t give a fragment of a fuck that he probably fucked her on a weekly basis. I had had three drinks and two shots, so I decided to shoot my own. When he looked at me he tilted his head to the left & lingered for too long before looking away. That’s how I knew I wasn’t the only one. When she went to the bathroom I walked over, took his phone & put my number in it. Told him to text me and all he said was “okay”. I left an hour later with my friends & when I got in the house I got a text from a random number that said “this is me texting you.” That’s how we started.

By the next week, he had made it over to Brooklyn from Queens to watch me sit by the window & fan myself because even though it was summer & I was determined to catch a slight breeze. He walked over to brush the hair out of my face. I looked up and grabbed his hand. “Why are you here?” I asked him & he said “because I’m supposed to be”, plainly. I let his hand go. It made its way to my chin & tilted my face up. He looked at me for a while & said “I like the space between your ears.” “My face?” I asked & he said “I mean yeah but it’s more than your face, it’s your mind too. You make all these faces & I don’t know…..it’s like I can’t not look. You know?” I looked back out the window. “Yeah I know”, I said while the this woman scooped rainbow ices out of her cart for a mother and her daughter. “You do this thing when you’re zoned out where your lips slightly part & your blinking slows & I just wanna stop time. It sounds stupid but yeah I know what you mean.” “Nah it doesn't” he’d said, walking back to my bed. He picked up the book on my nightstand as he laid down. “I read this before” he said. I looked away from the couple laughing while they waited to cross the street and back at him splayed out across my sheets. “Yeah me too.” “So why are you reading it again?” he asked & I told him it’s “because you can never read the same thing twice.”

I’d be in the kitchen washing dishes at the sink & he’d come sit on the counter & watch me. Once he asked if we could watch a movie when I was finished. “You can start it now & I’ll come watch when I’m done.” I said. “But I want to start and end it with you.” he replied. I dropped the bowl I was rinsing. I decided that the dishes could wait. We decided we’d rather watch the sun go down & right when dark had covered my room he reached out for my hand. I gave him my heart instead. You can’t give someone that much responsibility though. I didn’t know that then. Picture him on a tight rope trying to balance himself with my heart in his hands. I thought I was worth the risk though.

We never talked about her. I’m not sure why though. It was this unspoken thing. I’d ask if he wanted to come over later. He’d say no & I’d know why. He’d walk me to my door, say “have a good night” & I’d know. He wouldn’t text or call & I’d know. Once I was out with some friends & saw them at a bar. I sat at there, ordering drink after drink and laughed hysterically at things that weren’t funny because I wanted to scream. He text me later & asked if I got home okay. I replied “like you really give a fuck.” & twenty minutes later he was downstairs ringing my bell. I didn’t know who it was & because the intercom was shitty, I buzzed him in. I opened the door & before I could tell him to leave he’d pushed me back into the apartment, up onto my kitchen counter and kissed me. “I give a fuck.” he said, after he pulled away. I tried to push him off of me. Stop. Stop. I wasn’t talking to him though.

We only fucked when I was drunk, when all my faculties weren’t there. He said he liked when I was uninhibited because I talked to much when I was sober. Didn’t allow myself to feel things. He liked the way I felt. He liked how I made him feel. I felt like I was losing myself in him & I didn’t have a map. He’d be unbuttoning my pants or pulling up my skirt & I’d say to myself this isn’t fair. But when is life ever really fair?

I ended up meeting a guy at this get together for my coworker & we hit it off. Cut to us at dinner two weeks later after heavy texting. I was enjoying myself and thinking this is normal. We went for a walk after dinner & in the middle of crossing the street our hands intertwined. It was natural & we didn’t let go. He told me he liked the way my eyes got wide when I talked about my favorite books. He got me a cab home and when I got upstairs I took my phone out of my jacket pocket to thank him for a wonderful night. But instead I had two text messages. I want to see you. Now. No was my reply. I put my phone on the charger & went to take a shower. When I got out I had three missed calls. I called back after I had gotten dressed and when he picked up he said I miss you. Of course I missed him too but I wouldn’t admit it. Come over I told him. When I stepped into the hall to wait for/watch him come up the stairs to my third floor apartment, I asked myself why I couldn’t just be normal.

They had met through a friend and he recognized her from a couple pictures on instagram they’d posted. “She’s a good person.” he told me one day after he got out the shower. “Good people are only good for good people. If you were a good person you wouldn’t be here every week telling me how good I feel, how good I taste. I was a good person before you.” “Now you’re great” he said as he crawled over to me on the bed. I pulled away & he understood. He laid across my thighs on his back staring at the ceiling & said “I don’t feel bad about being here. I never have. You never let me finish. She is a good person but you’re good for me.” I propped my knee up and pushed his head off playfully. He laughed, sat up, hovered over me & lowered himself to kiss me. I didn’t pull away but I should’ve.

He used to say shit like when you know who you are, you know who you’re not and I’d think that was some deep shit. But I ain’t have to know who I was to know I wasn’t the one he came home to.

I see so many people talk about how Harry would have been James’ shadow and how he would want to be exactly like him which is true but also can we please talk about Harry and Lily please?? Like he would have been such a Mommas Boy

  • Harry crying out for his mum in the middle of the night when he’s had a bad dream, and James waking up to see Lily and Harry squished together in his toddler bed together, Lily using one of his stuffed animals as a makeshift pillow
  • Lily teaching Harry stuff about muggles and Harry being really interested in television?? So much so that one day James comes home to see Harry sitting cross-legged three inches away from an old antenna tv laughing at some cartoon 
  • LILY AND HARRY BAKING!!!! 
    • Lily’s lemon meringue pies are legendary and no one has ever managed to get her to spill the recipe
    • Except Harry of course since he’s been her helper since he could hold his head up 
    • So by age 7 he could make his own version and it wasn’t nearly as pretty as hers but damn if it didn’t taste delicious 
    • Also!!! Lily poking Harry on the nose with her flour-coated finger only to have him smear flour on her cheek in response 
    • And well fifteen minutes later they are just throwing handfuls of flour at each other making the kitchen into this smokey mess 
    • Before Lily casts a cleansing charm they draw pictures on the floor in the flour its really cute okay
  • Lily reading muggle novels to Harry on rainy days. They are just cuddled up together on the couch under a giant quilt drinking hot chocolate and the cat is just curled up next to them purring 
    • James being a little ??? about this because “Lily aren’t those a little advanced for him?”
    • And Lily is super indignant and is like “he has to know the classics, James”
    • And Harry does, and by the time he goes to Hogwarts he has read all of Jane Austen, Tolkien and Charlotte Bronte and casually quotes them in conversation 
  • Harry being a really shy child and always hiding behind Lily’s leg whenever he meets new people and he honestly didn’t grow out of this until he was 10 
  • When Harry practices quidditch in the backyard with James, Lily is always outside watching them and cheering on her boys and she is just so proud 
  • Harry never really got sick except for the time he got the flu when he was six and that was a total nightmare because James isn’t really good with the whole “puke” thing and so Lily was the one who would hold a bucket for him and rub his back as he vomited 
    • During that week, James would make soup and tea and banana sandwiches as Lily just rubbed Harry’s stomach in big circles as she hummed a wordless tune to him 
  • Harry actually being brilliant at potions because Lily was always working on something, and he was always curious so of course she used that opportunity to teach him 
    • This was also James’ worst nightmare because “Lily, do you know who my father was? Do you?? I thought I escaped this when I went to Hogwarts for Merlins sake” 
    • But he secretly loved the smell of fresh potion ingredients because it reminded him of his childhood and honestly seeing his wife and son together over a bubbling cauldron always made his heart swell 
  • James taught Harry the importance of friendship and loyalty, while Lily taught Harry that while those are important you also have to have a strong sense of self 
    • because she knew first hand the implications of being loyal to a friend who did not care about what you believed in and who didn’t see you as a whole person 
    • and she would be damned if she would let Harry believe that’s okay or healthy 

Lily’s love for Harry was so grand and profound that it literally protected her son from anything–even death. So while I agree that Harry and James were two peas in a pod, you can’t sit there and tell me that Harry and Lily didn’t have a bond strong enough to move mountains 

yu-gi-oh post-DSoD headcanons
  • after that scene where seto goes like “you have your bound with him, i have mine”, no one sees him for a while. he just vanishes, don’t go on any competitions anymore, only keeps himself locked in his office and working as a way to distract himself
  • mokuba starts to get really worried about his brother but when he asks him what’s going on, all he gets for an answer is “business must come first, don’t have time do worry about anything else”
  • and seto not being that sassy super extra bitch he always is????? there must be something wrong dEFINETLY there’s something wrong
  • i mean he is a total fashion icon and all he wears now are basic suits 
  • mokuba “yugi i don’t know what happened with my brother but you are always trapped into some magic shit so you must know what to do please come help”
  • yugi don’t know what to do since he hasn’t seen seto for a while and he doesn’t have atem (who used to have the strongest bond with seto) to help him anymore, so he does the first thing he can think about and it is send a box full of chocolates with a little note “i’m sorry about the pharaoh and i know i can’t fully understand, but mokuba’s worried and i think we should talk???? even if our bonds with him were different, you and i are possibly the only ones capable of understanding each other”
  • seto “i fucking hate feeling positive stuff” kaiba
  • seto finally being his extra bitch self but not what he used to, taking the chocolates to mokuba and saying “i told you i was fine, don’t ever do it again”
  • he keeps isolating himself for some other days until one night he wakes up from a nightmare where atem is falling and falling of a mountain of something and seto can’t do anything to help and he has to watch the man getting closer to his death every second that passes
  • seto calling yugi in the middle of the night “i think we should talk too”
  • yugi “it’s literally 2am couldn’t you wait till morning?”
  • “i had a nightmare please come over” and bc yugi is so sweet and caring he asks for a ride and goes inside the limousine to seto’s house and when he arrives there’s no one nowhere to be seen and then seto appears and is like “come upstairs”
  • “yugi i miss him so much i don’t know what to do how do YOU live with that”
  • for a moment yugi considers giving the friendship speech but he knows it won’t work it out for seto so he decides to be the friend seto needs without saying a thing, he just goes like “you need to do other stuff, only working is not making you any good” and they keep talking all night about the weird magic shit they used to have to deal with but yet they miss them
  • yugi waking up on seto’s bedroom floor and being “shit i’m late” and taking a ride on the limo to school and all the kids gossiping about “wow what is sweet little yugi mutou doing on kaiba’s limousine???”
  • yugi explaining to the gang about what happened and they being pissed because he’s helping an asshole like seto and yugi being all like “i’m sorry if you cannot understand but i’m still helping him whether u like it or not”
  • yugi going straight ahead to kaiba’s mansion after school to spend time with him and talking about the pharaoh and magic shit and dueling just for fun, no important shit on their shoulders, just oldschool duel monsters
  • the gang having to accept after some time that now seto is as important to yugi as they are and maybe he comes first on some matters. but they are ok with that because yugi wasn’t 100% ok after the pharaoh finally going to rest for eternity, but when he started to hang around with seto he went back being the same old yugi, happy and gentle and no more sad eyes
  • seto and yugi’s friendship becoming stronger everyday that passes and they keep talking about everything and helping each other being better and there was this one vacation yugi spent with the kaibas on an island somewhere in the atlantic
  • the two of them being friends for like one year or so and seto suddenly realising yugi doesn’t look like a child anymore and he looks more and more like atem - he’s taller, stronger, his features are getting the shape of an adult
  • seto “i’m trying to get over a guy and then i’m best friends with his fucking reincarnation” kaiba
  • but yugi is still yugi and he’s still so smol and a little sunshine that needs to be protected bc he’s so good and gentle and caring and ready to give up on everything for the people he loves
  • seto “shit i’m love” kaiba freaking our because how the fuck did it happen one day they are just rivals and suddenly they are bffs and now he has a ridiculous crush on the guy he used to hate?????
  • “seto are you ok you are a little weird this week”
  • haHAHA mE??????? i’m cOMpleTely fiNE it’s nOt lIKe i’m in lOVe WIth U or aNYtHIng
  • what
  • what

i. I absolutely cannot stand the snares of your hands,
or how I catch myself on your barbed wire mouth,
when I choke on your gasoline voice,
or cut myself on your switchblade fingers.
I loathe these weapons of yours more than I loathe the actual tangible knifes you keep hidden under your sleeves.
I hate that somebody did something so awful to you that you were forced to wear hatred as a second skin.
I hate myself more that I wasn’t there to shield you from it.


ii. I wonder how different our lives would be if we had been switched.
Me: Andrew.
You: Aaron.
Me: Given up on.
You: Kept.
Would everything turn out the same? Would we have led completely different lives? Would we be broken again? Made whole?
(Would she have hit you, too?)
(Would he have used me, too?)


iii. I hear the way people talk about you when you’re not there.
Like you’re this awful thing.
Like they’ve taken a bite out of you and realized you’ve gone bad in the middle.
When they speak, they’re trying to get the taste of you out of their mouths,
Spitting and spitting until there’s nothing left to expel.
Sometimes I want to say something.
Sometimes I want to argue.
But we come from the same batch, after all.
How can I argue when I taste just as bad as you do?


iv. I went to the Circle K around the corner one night and bought myself a pack of cigarettes: the same brand you use.
I stood outside and popped one in my mouth,
lit it with unpracticed hands.
I had seen you do this so often,
I thought maybe it would come almost naturally, like I had been the one catching fire to things all these years instead of you.
But the weight of it felt so wrong between my fingers,
the motions unfitting for me,
the taste acidic and raw and awful.
It reminded me too much of him—of that stray dog that follows you around all day—and less like you,
less like home.
I’m trying to understand this. I’m trying to be okay with you-and-him.
But there are some things that people shouldn’t get in the way of. This was one of them.
The box cost $7.89 and screamed your name. I didn’t even hesitate when I threw it away.


v. Every once and a while I’ll dream about that night.
Sometimes it’s me instead of you, or I can’t move at all and I’m forced to watch, or I beat him over and over but he keeps getting back up.
Either way, the entire time you’re just laughing.
Like I told a joke and you think it’s the funniest thing in the world.
I’m beating him to death and sloshing his blood around and you’re laughing like you’re at a comedy show.
Whenever I wake up from those dreams, I never want to sleep ever again.


vi. I never understand our fights.
Normal people throw around words they don’t mean and slam doors they would usually leave ajar.
But us?
We fight like our lives are on the line.
We fight like it’s a race and there’s only one winner.
You leave me aching and I leave you waterlogged.
We become such ferocious animals, all sharp teeth and heavy claws, ripping and tearing without a care to give.
The entire world comes to a stop when we have even the slightest disagreement,
a spotlight shining down to showcase our own personal brand of hate.
I sometimes wonder if that’s us making up for lost time.
All those years we never got to spend fighting like brothers.
Maybe we’re finally making up for that.
Maybe we’re trying to meet our quota before our time is up.
Before we can’t fight anymore.


vii. One time when you weren’t looking, I stole one of your pills.
I saved it for when you wouldn’t be around and swallowed it dry, felt it run down my throat.
I thought that if they made you smile all the time, maybe they’d make me smile, too.
But all I felt was this hallow ache in my chest,
like something bad had grabbed hold of me from the inside.
I was used to flying high, higher than most people would dream to go,
But this was just wrong on so many levels.
It lasted only four hours before I started to wind down, but that was one of the longest four hours of my life.
I wasn’t happy. But I smiled anyway. I couldn’t stop. My cheeks hurt after.
I think I understood you a little better after that day.


viii. I voted to name your cat Sir Fat Cat McCatterson. And I’m not even sorry.


ix. (I’m sorry.)


x. I love you.

—  Ten Things Aaron Wants To Tell Andrew (But Never Will)

Anyway I met Tatiana I’ve calmed down enough now to talk about it. We spotted Tom first because he’s taller and then saw Tat. She’s so SHORT I literally had to look down to meet her eyes and I’m only 5'5

We talked to her about cosplay and comic con (she was told she’s not going this year, sadly) and she just kept talking to us. In the middle of the conversation she asked our names and was like “I’m Tatiana nice to meet you,” and shook my hand??? she asked what other showed we go to comiccon for and what we’re watching. She apparently doesn’t watch a whole lot of stuff and just finished Transparent, and she just started The Sopranos with Tom. And she also only had like five hours of sleep last night like GURL. GET SOME SLEEP. Then we took pics with her and before I left I had to say hi to her from my girlfriend @tittymalaysia because if it wasn’t for orphan black we wouldn’t have met. I told Tat that was how we met and she thought that was so cool and we talked about clone club and meet ups and stuff. And she remembered my girlfriend’s Helena as Sarah as Beth cosplay from years ago.

Anyway, Tatiana Maslany is a sweetheart. I talked to her for like ten minutes and she just kept continuing the conversation. She is the best ally. Ur fav would never. I love her.

anonymous asked:

i was at my fwb house and we were in his bed under the covers just talking after we fucked when his older brother walks in to talk to him. so they're talking while his fingers are rubbing my clit and slowly fingering me. it was so hard not to moan so loud. then, it got late so he asked me to stay the night. in the middle of the night i went to the bathroom. his older brother followed me there, closed the door behind us, put me on the counter & fucked me hard while covering my mouth

Ripples - Part 1

Synoposis: What happens when you wake up married to Steve Rogers in a Las Vegas hotel suite? Especially when you have feelings for his best friend and his best friend has feelings for you? Only time can tell.

Reader X Steve Rogers X Bucky Barnes

Warnings: Language for now. SMUT down the road, but not the first chapter :) 

A/N: I was watching The Hangover and read a great story by @imhereforbvcky and was inspired. Going to make this a series because choosing between Bucky and Steve is literally one of my internal conflicts.

This first Part will capture everyone’s perspective and afterwards each part will be in a particular character’s voices.

Tag List: @sidneycrosbysdick, @denialanderror @sexylibrarian1

Tags are open for the moment!


The harsh, bright rays of the Nevada desert shone into the small hotel room, slowly making its way over two distinct bodies. One of them was solid and strong, the defined muscles relaxed as an arm draped across the second body, smaller and softer. The first groaned, shifting in its stiff movements  before waking up,  allowing the remnants of the Asgardian ale to take one final course through his body. How much he had drank the night before to allow the effects of the ale to linger in his system was unknown to him as he shifted, becoming very aware of the warm body next to him.

His eyes popped open as he took in the soft features of the woman beside him.

No.

Steve Rogers became very aware of the cool sheets draping over his naked body, the same sheets that were draped over your own.

No, no, no.

The words ring in his head as he sits up in bed, allowing his eyes a second to adjust before he realizes he’s not waking up to his room in the tower. Instead of the navy blue walls greeting him, he is awarded with cream walls wallpapered with gold swirl designs.  He scans the room - bottle of champagne, a tux lying idly on the floor, a wedding dress on top of that…..

He stops. A wedding dress?

He looks down at his left hand and sure enough a simple gold band dones his left ring finger, glistening under the soft light..

“NO!”

He articulates the words booming behind his drunken stupor, startling you awake and you moan, shifting your head so that the sunlight can’t ruin your sleep, the throbbing in your head unmoving.

“Steve, please don’t make me monitor your trainings this morning. I feel like I drank a gallon of really cheap tequila.”

You give a heavy sigh before your eyes pop open.

Steve?

You sit up quickly, instantly regretting the movement as Steve stares at you, his rich blue eyes flicking down at your chest before he quickly shifts and turns the other way, a blush adorning his chiseled cheeks.  You’re confused for only a second before you’re aware of the cold air hitting your chest and you look down to see the thin, cotton sheets slipping down your body, your nipples taunt from the movement.

Panic sets in and you lift the sheets higher, grabbing for the thick comforter laying at the bottom of the bed in embarrassment.

Why were you naked lying next to Steve. You look at him and notice he’s just as naked as you and you close your eyes, trying to remember the events from last night.  

“What…what happened?” you finally ask trying to calm your heartbeat, confused on how to digest what the clues were pointing at.

Steve sighs, his back toward you and you can’t help but admire the way his muscles contract with the breath. Then you shake your head of the thought, causing more pain in your head and you groan, bending down to rub your temples.

“….I…..I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

He looks over his shoulders at you, worry in his eyes.

“I don’t think we’re at the Tower though. Unless you choose this very posh decor for your room?”

His voice is hopeful and you will yourself to look up, trying to digest your surroundings. You look around the room, your trained eyes going through the same process Steve’s had and you feel the panic attack stampeding toward you like warriors going to battle. You knew where you were.

“….we’re in Vegas.”

He groans, placing his head in his hands.

“That explains a lot.”

“Does it?” you give a half mocked laugh, trying to find some humour - any humour in the situation. This couldn’t be happening to you. You were just a simple- highly trained assassin gone assistant to Tony Stark and The Avengers team. Not a young, reckless girl who went to Vegas to have random hook up sex.

Steve looks back at you, his perfectly chiseled jaw set as he mumbles,

“That’s not even the best part,” he lifts his left hand, revealing a gold band that glitters in the sunlight. “I think we might be married.”

That was all you needed. You think about all the things that make you happy. Ice cream. Laying on the beach on a hot summer day. Reading a good book during a rainstorm. It isn’t enough to contain your body from shaking as you lift your left hand, praying to god that he was wrong.  

The gold band compliments your delicate ring finger and glistens like Steve’s in the sunlight. Your breathing stops, the irregular huffs causing Steve to furrow his brow in concern and he turns into you now, no longer ashamed of your nakedness as he wraps his arms around you.  

Even in a crisis Steve could be relied on to support you.

“Steve…how…what..and…” you were going to throw up. You were going to throw up - that was it. Steve’s hold tightens around you and you feel the way his chest rises and falls against your own, trying to ignore the way his touch made you want to explore more of him. Though you weren’t going to say it, you both were thinking the same thing.

What the hell were you going to tell Bucky.


James ‘Bucky’ Barnes stood in the living room of the Avengers tower, a cup of coffee that had long gone cold in his hands as he watched the sun rise. He gave a deep sigh as he heard the faint sound of heels clicking toward him, stopping once they hit the living room.

He knew that the young blonde was waiting on him to say something - offer breakfast, get her number, anything - but he had wanted her gone the moment he realized the dumb mistake he had made. He only mumbled,

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. - can you escort our guest off of the property. Call a cab for her.”

The supercomputer responded yes and he knew the woman was angry, the quick sound of her heels carrying her to the elevator. He gave a sigh of relief, sipping the cold dark coffee as he tried to collect his thoughts.

He had to figure out how to admit to what had happened without ruining his relationship with Y/N. He hadn’t realized how much he had cared about you until he saw you last night, the sapphire body con dress drawing him into the essence that could only be described as you. The night had started well. You had walked to him directly, checking on his comfort. You might have, and he was only trying to be positive, even flirted with him.

But then, Steve had left in a tiff and you had offered to check on him, knowing that the breakup between Sharon and himself was still raw. Bucky hadn’t thought anything of it until he was still waiting for you 2 hours later.  He was aroused and needed some relief - relief he had hope to find with you - but instead drunk Bucky who had sipped way to much of the demi-god’s ale had found an easy target with the blonde. He didn’t even really care for blondes but…..he just didn’t want to be lonely. By the time he had realized what he had done, she had passed out beside him and he was up all night, debating whether you were left wondering why he had left you.

He had hoped to catch you this morning to apologize. Everyone knew that you came in early every morning, refusing to move into the complex tower but knowing that things needed to be accomplished. You always went for an early morning run, so early that the sun would barely break through before making coffee making coffee and preparing the reports of the day for Tony. First one to arrive and last one to leave.

But you hadn’t this morning.

He was worried and distracted, trying to debate whether to go to your apartment to check on you when he hears the elevator ding. Hopeful, he turns expecting to see you coming in, sweaty off your run.

Instead, he was rewarded with Tony who was fuming.

The tall man barrelled through the open space, his hands balled up in two angry fists as his eyes locked onto Barnes.

“Where is he Barnes?”

Bucky raises a curious brow and Stark rolls his eyes,

“Listen, I don’t need you and your Lost Boys bestie covering each other. Not today. This is a serious offense. Flying off with the quin jet to god knows where is not the best publicity we need right now. Lets just hope no one that’s pissed off at us followed him.”

The blank stare Bucky returns to Stark lingers before Bucky shakes his head, returning his eyes out of the patio window.

“Who the hell are you talking about Stark?” he mumbles and Tony takes in Bucky’s confused face.

“Wait - you don’t know that your 1945 girlfriend absconded with my quin jet in the middle of the night not to be heard of? Turned off all the tracking systems and F.R.I.D.A.Y. so I can’t find him and beat him for ruining my morning with Pepper?”

The incredulousness in Tony’s voice is evident and Bucky shrugs, giving him a side glance before shaking his head. Tony gives a loud sigh, banging his fist on the kitchen island.

“Fuck! Do you know if Y/N is here yet? We need to get an angle on this stat.”

Bucky hated when Tony referred to you as though you were another robot in his lab, even though he knew that Tony thought more of you. He loved you like a younger daughter even if he took you for granted.

“She hasn’t come in yet.”

“FUCK!” Tony yells, storming to a cupboard to grab a cup for coffee. He finds one and pours, shaking his head in fury.

“You throw one fucking benefit dinner to prove to the public that The Avengers have changed and Steve has to go off and ruin it. Why am I not surprised.”

Tony leans against the counter, crossing his arms before he takes a sip of coffee before spitting it out.

“Jesus why does this taste like black acid!? Who the hell made this coffee?”

He looks up at Bucky, who hadn’t moved from his spot in the living room and rolls his eyes.

“Of course you made it. Taste likes its been boiling in a hydra base for over 60 years.” he gives an annoyed sigh,  dumping the contents of the pot into the sink before starting to make a new brew and Bucky chuckles, walking into the kitchen and shaking his head.

“Sorry you’re not man enough to handle a dark brew.”

Tony snorts when something rings, causing Bucky to jump up in alarm, his eyes searching the facility as Tony rolls his eyes.

“It’s just my news alarm can opener. Calm down.”

Bucky frowns. If there was nothing more obnoxious than Tony Stark, then it was all the machines that ringed and dinged and shrilled randomly throughout the day. He still didn’t understand the world that literally held the news in the palm of his hands, glass and metal separating him from a world of knowledge.

Tony’s glasses frost over, a news report flashing in front of his eyes and he groans, asking F.R.I.D.A.Y to remove the report from his view and quickly pushing a button on his watch, hastily heading toward the balcony.

“So you got the report.”

Neither of them are surprised to see Natasha, already equipped in her Black Widow attire as she walks into the living room.

Bucky is the first to ask,

“What report? Is this about Steve?”

“Is this about Steve?” Tony mocks, his hands stopping on the patio door handle before looking at the large super soldier. Bucky’s eyes scrunch together in frustration as Tony continues,

“Listen, Tin box, hold down the fort while mommy and daddy reign in the kids. When Y/N gets here, tell her she’s going to have to help with covering this mess Captain has got us in.”

Bucky can’t help to narrow his eyes, his left arm flexing before Natasha places a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t let him get to you. Just let Y/N know it’s probably nothing. Better that few of us go and clean this up,” she turns to Tony,  “There’s a mini jet I can take. Sits one.”

“Already informed Roadie. He’ll meet us there as well.”

And then Tony’s stepping off the balcony, only to fly upwards seconds later in his Iron Man suit. Bucky had been so distracted by the action that he doesn’t catch Natasha’s absence until he hears Sam’s voice and he groans. This morning keeps getting better and better.

“Take it they’re going after Steve?”

“Why the hell does everyone know where Steve is!?”

Sam laughs, turning on the TV in the kitchen as he pours himself a fresh cup of coffee.

“We call this machine a television Bucky. It usually reports out current events and false drama to distract humans from their day to day lives.” His voices is laced with heavy sarcasm but Bucky is to distracted with the news feed to care.  A quinjet had been found in the Las Vegas airport and he chuckles, shaking his head. He didn’t take Steve as a mourn yourself in Vegas kind of guy but if it helped, it helped. It’s only seconds later that Sam is spitting out the coffee, cursing under his breath.

“Did you make this watery crap!?” he asks, taking the coffee pot and pouring it into the sink.

“Tony. He said my pot was too strong.” Bucky chuckles and Sam nods, before frowning and looking back at him.

“Where the hell is Y/N? She’s the one thats figured out the recipe for making good coffee that pleases all of us.”

Bucky shrugs.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”


You watched as Steve roamed the room in his boxers, looking for the small paper before you hear him exclaim,

“Aha!”

He bends over, his ass stretching underneath the sheer fabric and you look away, taking in the decor as he picks up the thin paper.

What the hell had gotten into you?

He walks back to the bed as you sit up, the large stiff cotton shirt he wore with his tux the night before falling loosely over your body. He tries to ignore the haphazard way you had buttoned it up, exposing enough of your cleavage to draw a response from him as you leaned over his broad shoulders. Or the way your hair smelled as it brushed against his exposed skin. The same thought echoed in his brain.

What the hell had gotten into him?

“What does it say?” you bite your lip reading the document before groaning.

“Shit!” he flinches hearing you curse and you mumble a quick apology before continuing, “This is official. We definitely got married last night. No random marriage hiccup here.”

You sigh as you lean over the nightstand, drinking the expensive coconut water you had found in the rooms fridge. It was a worthy ten dollars, soothing the small throbbing in your head. Steve had mentioned he had been drunk off of Asgardian ale and that you probably had a sip, causing the massive pain pounding throughout your body.

You could only agree.

Steve; however, was thriving, his drunken stupor burned out of him minutes after he woke up.

Stupid, super soldier serum.

“So…..what does that mean?” he asks uncertainly and you can’t help but give a small laugh, amused by the worry lines creasing his forehead. Not that they would stick.

Steve’s innocence was always something you found adorable.

“Means that I am officially Y/N Rogers. Congratulation - you have a wife!”

He can’t help but laugh, a genuine smile spreading across his face and for once this morning, a small light of happiness seeps through. You were worried about him. You knew how much Sharon meant to him. This wasn’t helping. Part of you was worried that the scowls that had cast itself across his features had to deal with the disappointment of being married to you.

Though that shouldn’t matter. You liked Bucky. Everyone knew that.

Except, of course, Bucky.

“Well, while this is one of the best honors I can add to my life experiences this isn’t right,” he turns to you, his calm blue eyes looking into your own.

“You deserve better than marrying some old guy in a sketchy Vegas chapel. At least you should be able to remember it.”

You nod your head, the smile still unable to leave your face.

“Well,” you crawl back to him, placing your chin on his shoulders, feeling his muscles tense underneath you. God this man was built.

“I’d rather have my random marriage experience with you than anyone else. Could you imagine if I accidentally married Thor. God of obliviousness. He’d be a string of questions from the moment we got up to find ourselves in this mess to the second I divorce his demi-god ass.”

“Language…” Steve says under his breath though he’s chuckling and then his eyes lock on yours again. There’s something different this time. Curiosity and something else. Something you can’t put your finger on.

You’re unaware that your faces were getting dangerously close to each other until you hear a loud bang at the door. It only takes Steve seconds  to respond, blocking your body from the intrusion, before the door bursts open in a small cloud of smoke. Natasha walks in, an amused smile on her face as she takes in Steve’s semi-naked state.

“Steve.” she calmly says, crossing her arms in amusement. You try to hide your body further behind his large frame before Tony is walking in, the mask of his suit lifting with Roadie not far behind him.

“Morning Captain. Don’t mean to burst in on you like this - I know that you probably wanted to check out the breakfast buffet downstairs -heard it crazy delicious,” he staring down Steve with angry eyes and you groan, Steve easily covering it up with a cough, “But I came to retrieve some property. You know, the quin jet you absconded with.”

Steve stands tall, giving a curt nod as Natasha takes in the room. The tux, the wedding dress, the empty champagne bottle, the second pair of legs hiding behind Steve’s.

“Steve….didn’t take you and Sharon for a random Vegas type.”  she says, cutting the silence.

This causes Tony to snap toward Natasha and then back to Steve. Steve’s jaws clenches and he gives a slow sigh before mumbling,

“…not with Sharon.”

“Really?” Both Natasha, Roadie and Tony ask simultaneously and you know you’re busted. You give one last sigh before stepping from behind him, lifting your arms up in surrounding and giving an uncertain smile

“Surprise?” you say weakly.

all life is strange ship prompts

Most of these prompts I’ve basically discarded or they’ve already been written, but I have many prompt ideas so here’s small little ideas for you guys (Sorry, I’m Pricefield trash so there’s a ton of those, but please send me your story so I can read them if you do use one of these ideas please because I like reading new life is strange fanfics):

Pricefield:
- “We experimented over wine-tasting sessions as kids, but now we’re adults meeting each other for the first time in five years and oh my god is that sexual tension between us?”
- “I’m terrified of men because of something that happened in the past, and Rachel and Chloe are trying to make me feel comfortable with Warren but I’m slowly realizing that it’s not Warren that my eyes have been focused on.”
- “Warren keeps asking me to the drive-in so I asked my best friend Chloe for advice, so now we’re fake dating but I think I’m really getting used to this idea.”
- “This punk girl keeps on coming to the homeless shelter at the same time each week purchasing a shit ton of water bottles, canned chili, and loaves of bread with money that comes from God-knows-where but holy shit, she’s actually royalty whose parents are trying to keep her name under wraps.”
- “I recited one of my poems at a poetry slam about my childhood best friend, turns out she was there listening to my every word and now I’m humiliated.”
- “I dared Max to kiss me, but her nose started bleeding and I can tell she’s rewinded more than once and she just told me not to pull back because apparently, that’s what’s going to happen.”
- “Max and I are at her Seattle home, and I just discovered a treehouse her Dad built for her. I’m sorry, Ryan, I’m using this opportunity alone with your daughter to try and seduce her.”


Marshfield:
- “One of the pieces you played on the violin is something I recognized, and you anonymously (even though I know it was you) slid a tape under the door of that piece on Valentines day.”
- “It started raining on our tea date, so we ran inside the cafe with our clothes dripping wet but wow, Kate, you’re so cute with your hair pulled out of the bun.”
- “Max has been taking photos for the children’s book I’m writing and one of the photos she took was of the sunset with a sweet quote on it and I think I’m blushing.”
- “We decided to skip class, and we went to the park with Alice in the middle of the day and wow, Max’s smile is so beautiful. Am I really thinking this?”
- “After Max saved me off that rooftop, all I’ve been thinking about is how much she’s supported me over the past month and a half she’s known me and according to google, I have a crush on Max.”


Chasefield:
- “I’ve been talking to this girl online and turns out, she’s just like me and I’m starting to dig her. Turns out when I meet her, she’s one of the girls I personally resent.”
- “I ended up saving your ass from getting eaten by a crocodile while we’re camping but I still hate you. Okay, so maybe that’s not the case. What’s it to you?”
- “Even though you’re trouble, you still invited me to your celebration banquet after getting one of your photos in your parents gallery and we seem to get along just fine when we genuinely talk to each other. Wait, are you flirting with me now?”
- “We accidentally hooked up in the middle of a party involving a shit ton of alcohol and now I’m trying to figure out how to approach you about it. Turns out, you were pretty sober during the party and you weren’t exactly rejecting my advances.”
- “You were holding my arms while I rewinded to try and erase the argument we just had, but turns out my rewind power doesn’t work on you, and now you’re freaking out asking me what the fuck is going on but at least we’re on good terms now, right? I’m now this God-like person to you, and now you’re scared yet intrigued by me.”

Grahamfield:
- “So maybe the drive-in didn’t help us progress in our relationship, but we definitely managed to hook up after an experiment gone wrong.”
- “We’re graduating out of Blackwell Academy, and I didn’t expect to blush furiously and freeze onstage when you blew a kiss in my direction.”
- “I’m tutoring you in chemistry since you’re not doing too great in it, turns out there’s only one type of chemistry you’re interested in.”
- “I fell asleep in your dorm room during a movie marathon of Harry Potter, and I woke up to you staring at me affectionately and I’m 95% sure I’m drooling.”
- “You convinced me to head to Comic Con with you, but you’re the only one cosplaying while I’m taking a ton of pictures of your nerdy self. I think this side of you is kind of cute.”


Chaseprice:
- “I ended up blackmailing Victoria after she pulled some shit on my best friend Max, so now she’s willing to do anything I say. And I mean anything.”
- “It’s prom night, and since Nathan hates prom, I’m stuck with the single group of people which includes Chloe in a tux and wow is it getting hot in here?”
- “Stop bothering me by coming up to my dorm room and knocking on it. Oh wait, you’re actually dropping off flowers this time?”
- “Nathan, I know this is gonna sound weird but I think the blue haired girl I keep on seeing around Blackwell putting up those Rachel Amber posters is really hot. How do I approach her?”
- “Chloe keeps on pranking me, turns out she doesn’t know how to express her feelings towards me.”


Ambrice:
- “At the lighthouse, I was thinking about ending my life when you came up behind me and started a conversation with me about something stupid, but you fucking saved my life.”
- “We nearly got busted for smoking pot in the parking lot of a restaurant, but it’s okay because we were making out the majority of the time so that’s partly why I didn’t notice.”
- “After getting really high together, both of us almost got hit by a car when we realized it was parked and now we’re making out against said car.”
- “We’re at a party together playing truth or dare and someone just dared me to kiss you but wow, that’s not going to be the first time I’m going to kiss you.”
- “Both of us end up in Los Angeles, and I’m not sure what is going on but I think you’ve been more touchy-feely this trip than throughout our entire friendship.”


Caulscott (Max/Nathan):

- “I’m starting to get obsessed with this version of you because you’re changing from snoopy nerd into this untouchable badass within this entire week.”
- “After you overheard of my situation with Mr. Jefferson on accident, you secretly called the police and arrested him and I’ve never felt so relieved and happy in my life.”
- “You visited me in the hospital and gave me a hug, and instead my heart is going out to you because you really do seem to care even though I give you so much shit in school.”
- “Max has been reluctantly taking care of me while I’ve been sick since Victoria can’t do it because she’s been out of town visiting family, but she’s been so sweet to me so I don’t mind the arrangement.”
- “I recognized Nathan at the aquarium spending the majority of the time with the whales, and there was this big cheesy smile on his face that immediately grabbed my attention. Now that I’m noticing it, this is my first time seeing Nathan smile…and it’s nice.”


Chasescott:
- “Victoria keeps telling me to find a girlfriend, but is she not getting the fact that I want to date her instead? Sheesh.”
- “Both of us don’t ever bring up about how we discussed marrying each other in middle school until we both got really high together and ended up talking about that.”
- “My Dad mistakes Victoria for my girlfriend, and when she vehemently denies, for some reason, I feel upset over it and correct her surprising Victoria and myself.”
- “We’re playing Laser Tag together one night but you kissed me out of nowhere in the middle of the game, and what the fuck is our relationship now? Are we best friends? Lovers?”
- “When she asked what my type was, I accidentally made it obvious that she was my type and now she’s giving me a funny look but it doesn’t seem to be a bad look either.”


Grahamscott (Nathan/Warren):
- “You were in the locker room getting dressed, and WOW I just noticed your six pack. Why am I thinking so much over this?”
- “You’ve changed from nerdy boy to hardass, and for some reason, that’s my type? I think I’m starting to get curious about you now.”
- “We ran into each other in a gay bar, and I’ve never seen both of us look so ashamed and embarrassed in my life.”
- “I ended up in the hospital due to a really bad car accident, and you were the first person I woke up to. Apparently you slept by my bedside and didn’t leave my side once.”
- “I’ve been talking to him on grindr, but he doesn’t know that I have a crush on him. Yet.”


Hellalujah (Kate/Chloe):
- “You came up to me on campus and invited me to your Church group. Instead of being interested in that, now I’m interested in you.”
- “Alice seemed to have gotten out again and it’s raining, but the only person whose around to help is me. You’ve been coming over everyday after school after discovering I’m sick because of that to make me soup and cheer me up whoops did I mention I’m starting to have feelings for you?”
- “You’re the type of person I want to be: Free to make any decision I want, and finally I’m given that opportunity when you and I decide to smoke weed together in private and now I’m feeling pretty good about everything and you.”
- “I’m in cultural anthropology and we’re in a heated discussion about opposites attracting, yet you’re telling me they don’t but I’m going to prove to you they do.”


Amberpricefield:
- “Chloe tried to make Max breakfast since it’s her birthday and Chloe totally fucked up and burnt all the food so now we’re eating burnt toast but it’s whatever, we love Chloe anyway.”
- “I just walked in on Chloe and Rachel hooking up which got awkward really fast, and I told them to continue and I guess I joined in.”
- “We’re roadtripping but Chloe gets lost and we end up staying the night in a cabin since we’re nearby a campsite when I confess that I’ve never been kissed and both girls end up fighting over kissing me.”
- “We’re at a Halsey concert and they’re playing our song whenever both of us realize how Max is more than ready for the mosh pit.”


Pricemarshfield:

- “We decided to go food shopping, and Chloe keeps on throwing junk food into the basket but Kate keeps on putting the junk food back in when Max isn’t looking.”
- “Both me and Max come out to Kate about our relationship when she admits that she’s always been a little bicurious herself. A joke about that quickly turns serious.”
- “I just took down Kate’s viral video by going into Victoria’s youtube account, and turns out after watching it, Kate kissed a wasted Chloe. But Kate ends up being so relieved she kisses me too? So now she’s held responsible for both of us.”
- “Max brought us to the zoo and she’s torn between me wanting to see the insect exhibit and Kate wanting to stay where she is because Kate really dislikes insects so Max decides to compensate for the entire party by coming up with an idea all of us will enjoy.”


Bonus:
Frank-N-Beans:

- “As a kid, I used to hate beans but whatever these beans are, they’ve gotten me addicted to beans and now my nickname is Frank-N-Beans.”



anonymous asked:

Do you have any expecting parents/parents with a newborn aus? Thank you in advance~~

aaaa yes!! these are my favourite kind of AUs to be honest :P

  • “seriously? you want to name our child that?!? it’s like you want them to be bullied!!”
    • “says you! jeez, on what planet would that ever be a good name?”
  • listen, i’m really excited to have this baby with them but if they ask me about what colour the baby’s crib should be, i am actually going to throw myself out a window.
  • “here, hold them.”
    “you’re gonna break the world when you’re older, you don’t know it yet but you will.”
  • “it’s your turn, go on.”
    “they’re your child before four o’clock in the morning.”
    • “fine, fine, fine. rock, paper, scissors to see who has to go calm down the baby.”
      “glad that we’re dealing with this like adults.”
  • “why is it now that we have a child everyone suddenly wants to hang out with us like, we never talk to them!!”
  • i knew it was a bad idea to buy the crib from ikea
    • “I’M AN ADULT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THIS, I’VE BEEN DEFEATED BY A PIECE OF FURNITURE”
      • “…you were reading it upside down.”
  • we woke up in the middle of the night to someone knocking on the door, we opened the door to find a baby lying in a crib on our doorstep with nothing but a note that read; ‘take care of them, please.’ i guess we have a baby now???
    • “there’s a raging storm outside! we can’t just leave them out there!”
  • …were you aware that our baby could fly?
  • our newborn child has been really ill for a couple weeks and you’ve been really worried. luckily, we took them to the doctors and everything’s fine. yet despite it being nearly a week since we went to the doctors, you’ve slept beside the crib every night.
  • the obligatory “my-kid’s-better-than-yours” au
  • our kid is only a year old but they already rule the household and every single aspect of our lives
  • honestly, being married to you was bad enough but when we got a kid i was hoping you’d grow up a little, just maybe…now they’re two kids in the house
  • “i’m sorry, there’s nothing we could do.”
    “…i want to see my child.”
    “i..i highly advise against that.”
    • “correction: we want to see our child.”
      • “you would’ve grown up to be the best kid in the world…maybe it was too much to ask for.”
        “they’re so…beautiful but, the world will never know.”
        • “yeah…they’re still a mess and to be honest so am i. we … tried so hard to have a child and i don’t know if i - we - could ever go through that again.”
  • what the fuck is a baby shower?????
  • “you know, i’m kind of surprised your child isn’t seriously injured at this point with you two being their parents.”
    “haha, yeah…yet.”
  • my child is more talented than me and they’re only two years old.
  • “the scans have just come through and it’s been revealed that we were wrong. you’re not having a baby…you’re having two! congratulations!”
    • “TWINS????”
  • you’re so excited about getting our baby but, what if i let them down? being a parent is a big responsibility and i don’t know if i’m ready. but, i haven’t told you that i’m going to this support group either and i just hope this blows over before the baby arrives…
  • we left you to babysit our kid for literally three hours, what happened?!?

this is a weird post, it suddenly got very sad and angsty towards the middle…oops!!

hope these helped!

- jess

request and submissions are open!!:

send in requests!!
submit some aus of your own!!

Who knew how far we’d come
Who knew we would be making each other laugh again
After months of silence and tears and heartbreak.

I don’t know if I ever gave up on us at all.
You were my one, my sun in the darkest of nights
And I needed you more than I wanted to admit
So I let myself hurt until I was crying on the couch in the middle of the afternoon,
Talking to the ghost of the person you used to be.

Who knew I would still love you after all of that heartache
And who knew you would love me back in the end?

Suddenly, it was you who was hurting
And it was me who was turning a cold shoulder
Trying to protect myself from the ghost of you
Who tore my heart out.
But I still loved you unconditionally, so I let you warm my heart
And melt the walls I had tried to build around it.
Your sweet smell, your warm eyes,
And I fell right back into you.

Who knew I had made the right decision
And who knew we’d make it this far.

You wrap your arms around me before we go to sleep
And I slither out of your warm embrace just so you’ll reach out and grab me again
Take me back into you
Showing me the warmest of your love.
I smile to myself because
You are everything I have ever wanted.

But sometimes, deep down, I am still afraid
Because although things have changed since last year,
I still need you more than I care to admit
And I am afraid that one day, that may be the end of me.

—  I love you always, but please spare me the pain in doing so

I’m tired of not having someone to call in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, just to hear their voice, or to cuddle with when we’re tired and one of us has had a bad day, or tell them I love them, and share neck kisses and long hugs and hold hands and have long deep talks with and someone who will protect me when we watch scary movies together. I just want someone who I can make all of these memories with. Someone who will tell me that they care and will be there for me when no one else will be.

Thoughts on sexuality.

I’ve been thinking a lot about love, lust and sexuality lately. When it comes to sexuality, my views would be considered by today’s standards to be “radical.” Simply this: I am saving my first kiss for my wedding day. It wasn’t something pushed on me, suggested to me, or that I was pressured into. It was my own decision I made when I was 17. I wanted to share some of my story with you guys to show you a point of view that is very different than the common one.

Disclaimer: I believe sexuality is a very private, personal topic and all that I am about to say are my personal beliefs and opinions. I don’t believe in shaming others or that my views make me “better”. It’s just what works for me personally and what I have found a great deal of fulfillment and inner-peace in.

When I was 17, I fell hard for a boy for the first time. I would sneak out to meet up with him late at night and stay up until early in the morning talking to him, then slip back into my house. In the beginning of our “thing” (ugh, our generation), it was very innocent. We would hold hands and walk down the street, talking for hours. It felt very sweet and romantic. I remember sitting out on a rock on a hill looking out at the lake and the lights of our small town below, my head on his shoulder, him stroking my hair. I remember us holding each other’s hands and spinning around in circles down the street then laying down in the middle of the street at night, side by side, having the most random but fun conversations about life.

But then at one point, I could tell he was getting frustrated with me and what I was “giving” him. He wanted more. I could feel it in every thing he did- how he increased his compliments to me, and held me in a hug longer and closer. He was pushing me, very subtly, using all the tactics that had worked with girls in the past. I didn’t really feel anything- just a sense that it felt good to be desired. We were about to be seniors in high school and I had never kissed anyone, and he had a reputation of being a “player” who had “been with” many girls.

In my head was this huge war. The voices of my friends, “Kissing is not a big deal, so why don’t you just kiss him?” His voice when I told him I was considered saving my first kiss, “But there’s a way you can kiss someone that is so innocent. I could just kiss you like that?” On one of those late nights when he was very close to me, the voices started screaming in my head, until it all became like a huge chant, “Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him.” And another voice, “It’s not even a big deal, so why not just do it?”

I remember the moment exactly- the street sign, the light of the moon. He was whispering something in my ear and trying to “seduce” me and the chorus was chanting in my head to give him my first kiss. Suddenly, a firm, strong voice spoke out inside of me- a resolution, a promise:

“No.”

It was so sure and concrete, so powerful and commanding. In that moment I knew it came from a higher self- the same self that woke up for swim practice at 6am every weekday that summer even though I was exhausted, because I knew going to practice would make me stronger. The same voice that gave me the courage to leave my toxic group of friends earlier that year and find friends who truly loved me. I didn’t know exactly where the voice came from, just that it was a voice that I loved and trusted. While the other voices were pushy and impatient with me, this one was calm, confident and in control. I trusted her.

He stepped away from me, frustrated and annoyed. “Let’s go,” he said flatly, and we stepped into his fancy car. When he dropped me off at my front door, I had this feeling of being disposed of, like some kind of object that was deemed “useless” and “defective.” I felt an odd mixture of sadness and relief.

I had an experience with God that cemented my decision shortly after that. I was in great conflict another night not long after that, about whether or not I should keep seeing him. I was wrestling with this growing sense that he didn’t truly value me, and that I deserved better.

God called me outside and I sat beneath a heavy blanket of stars. I looked up and tears of joy streamed down my face. I felt this perfect sense of peace, calm and being connected to the Creator. In that moment, I knew that my true fulfillment came from Love, not lust. The Author of every great love story was calling me to sit close to Him, to make a sacrifice in my dating life that would ultimately serve me in the end.

Here I am now- I’m 25 years old. I have never kissed anyone and I still plan on saving it for my wedding day. It is one of the greatest decisions I have ever made. Never before has something brought me so much peace, fulfillment, self-respect and purpose. I am still dating and I have experienced a rich and full dating life, meeting and dating a lot of really great men and experiencing so many things I will treasure forever.

My romantic experiences have felt like I was in a movie many times. My breath has been taken away by them. There is a certain beauty in looking into the eyes of a man and knowing that he is willing to make a sacrifice for you because he cares about you as more than just a body. I think the more you give away, the harder it becomes to discern someone’s true intentions. “Do they love me for my heart, soul and mind? Or are they simply here for the pleasure my body provides?”

And that leads me to my final message for you: You are more than just a body. You are a heart and a soul and beautiful story unfolding. You are precious and cherished and you deserve more than the cheap excuse for romance that the world is offering. It does not satisfy. The only thing that will truly satisfy you is LOVE, and the greatest killer of love is lust.

Your body is not an object and your kisses are not meaningless tokens to bargain with. You don’t “owe” someone your body because they bought you dinner or tossed out some pretty words at you. You deserve more. And I think you know that. If you’ve ever felt the emptiness of giving away what felt like too much, you know what I’m talking about.

You deserve more. You’re not damaged and you’re not irreparably broken. You’re still sacred, precious and whole. A million people could defile and degrade you, but you will still remain worthy and sacred. The human body is so incredible, and sexuality is a sacred, precious gift. Sexuality has become something so cheap and meaningless in our world- eyebrows raised and dirty comments made. But that doesn’t change that it is SO MUCH MORE.

Your body IS a big deal. And you will always be precious.