we tolerate

Therapy 18.07.17 // tolerating silences

We sat in silence for ages in the middle of this session. I looked at T and she looked back at me. My eyes were sending her the silent message “ok you say something now” and she smiled and silently sent me back the message “uh uh no I’m not rescuing you”. Grrrr. The silences have become more comfortable over the years and although in a way this is a good thing, it also means she waits them out more and makes me make the first move to break them.

I look around the room and then look back to her, in a way that in normal conversation would signal “ok, my thinking is done, your turn to speak now”, but she doesn’t. Then I sigh and twist my fingers together and look down and then up at her again - I’m trying again with another cue “your turn to speak” - but she still doesn’t, just keeps looking irritatingly relaxed and chilled out like she could sit there all day.

Is it a therapy technique, to allow the silence to build and simultaneously the tension within the client till they feel compelled to speak? If so, it’s annoying that it works.

Different ways to draw trolls: A Chart

Tag where you’d be

So a few weeks ago I got interested what made us human apex predators(cuz lets face it we don’t look intimidating). One of the obvious is superior intelligence but that can’t be all. I figured I put a list together for any writer that want to use this information. (these are all google facts so feel free to do your own research or correct me)

Also disclaimer: This post excludes anything that has to do with our above intelligence(like use of weapons) and dexterity thumps, because those are a given. I wanted to concentrate on what else helped us survive in the wild. And this post does not say that the modern human is like this, its about people that still live out in the wilderness or 10 000 years ago.

  • Unique Hunting
    • We humans are persistent hunters, so instead of the typical predator approach by stalking our prey and kill it fast, we let our prey know we are here. We tried to hit it with rocks or spears, if the first strike didn’t kill it, we would just calmly walk after it and try again. This goes on over hours, usually during the hottest time of the day, not giving the poor thing a chance to rest until it’s finally to exhausted to run away. We would literally walk our pray to death. There are other animals that hunt like this(wolves) but we humans are the best at it.
  • Insanely Good Trackers
    • This is tied in with our intelligence but I wanted to give it an extra point. Most animals track by smell, which we don’t. We track foot print and things like fur on branches or broken twigs. Water or rain will wash away a scent but following broken twigs is a bit easier in the rain.
  • Amazing Cardio
    • We can’t out sprint any animal but we can outrun them. Humans are within the top 5 animals that are able to walk/jog/run long distances without needing a break. And we are the only predator in that  list.
  • Incredible Aim (hand eye coordination)
    • Out of all the animals we have by far the best aim. Other species with similar abilities just don’t have the same success rate.
  • Best climbers
    • We are one of the best climbers there are and if you don’t believe me watch a parkour video.
  • We eat everything (and i mean everything)
    • We eat many things that are either unenjoyable for animals or poisonous. Our digestive system is unique and allows us to digest these poisons without a problem. While some of these poisons would be dangerous enough in large doses, it is literally impossible for us to OD on them if we eat them as food. Here’s a list:
      • Chocolate
      • Spicy food (is not deadly just unenjoyable)
      • Milk (Humans are the only animals on earth that are lactose tolerant when we grow into adulthood)
      • Avocado
      • Garlic 
      • Coconut
      • Yeast bread
      • Eggs
      • Grapes/Raisins
      • Onions
  • Super Healing
    • Our flesh wounds stop bleeding relatively fast and heal fast too.We heal so well that a broken bone is considered a relative minor medical issue. A broken bone is a death sentence in the animal kingdom and even for modern days vets its impossible sometime to heal an animal’s broken bone. Not only do our bones heal fast but it grows stronger afterward.
  • Lack of Fur
    • Animals that don’t sweat need to regulate their heat by panting. Humans have much better way at regulating heat: we sweat. Sweating happens parallel to whatever activity we do and allows us to perform these task without needing a break. If you made a dog do sports like a human it would have a heatstroke.

All in all we are a species that can adapt to any sort of environment thanks to these traits. 

Yuri!!! On Ice Shit Bang

My dearest followers - 

In light of the recent cyber bulling this fandom has encountered, myself @imonajourney and @merkitty have decided to put together the first annual YOI Shit Bang. 

What is the Shit Bang, you ask?

Well. Do you like Otayuri? Do you like YuriYuu? YuriJJ? Yuri with anyone? Do you like Stripper!AUs, Mafia!AUs, Hooker!AUs? Do you like A/B/O or mpreg? Do you like a little angst noncon/dubcon with your tea? Genderswap? Do you picture Viktor terribly bad at chores? Do you think Yuuri is a great cook? Do you love the Welcome to the Madness performance? Do you think Yuuri suffers from mental illness? Do you love a little powerplay? Do you like YOI?

If you’ve answered YES to any of this questions, then this bang is for you!

Truthfully, this bang is for EVERYONE. That’s the point. This bang is for anyone and everyone that loves to create art - whether it’s writing or drawing - about this amazing anime. 

This bang is about spreading POSITIVITY and LOVE. We will not tolerate hate of ANY kind even that towards the blogs that shall not be named. 

This is going to take some work to put together, so if anyone is interested in helping us put together nice graphics for the blog or help moderate, please message one of us!

The blog will be https://yoi-shit-bang.tumblr.com/ Obviously it’s empty right now as we ramp things up, but keep on the look out for more news and more importantly - SPREAD THE WORD!

We accept ALL authors and artists!

Oh ok, it seems I’ve reached 500 followers? Idk why you guys tolerate me but thank you so much!

This is a list of people who are my mutuals and you should 100% go follow. They are all amazing in every way and I love them even if we don’t talk very much I love seeing you all on my dash!

If I forgot to include you a) feel free to punch me in the face and b) tell me so I can add you!

sorry for the terrible banner!


@allthestarsalligned ~ @a-lonely-trash-can ~ @acephan ~ @allthestarsalligned ~ @angelphannie ~ @arainysummer ~ @articulatehowell ~ @artisthowell ~ @ashtonthegreat ~ @astronautdan ~
@becausedodie ~ @bloomingphil ~ @blueberryphil ~ @blushinlester ~
@brendon-effing-urie ~ @calmlester ~ @celestinehowell ~ @cinnabonanna ~
@clingylester ~ @cloverphan ~ @comicphans ~ @crossedstars ~
@cursivehowell ~ @cyxical ~ @danandphilaremyaesthetic ~ @dandyphil ~
@danextra ~ @daninthesheets ~ @danjlester ~ @danopoly ~ @dansforeheadcurl ~ @danshine ~ @dantea ~ @dantichrist ~ @dantlers ~
@daydreamlester ~ @dayphil ~ @dearlylester ~ @death-by-phan ~
@deepspacehowell ~ @delicatedaniels ~ @desisnotonfire ~ @dimensionallyyours ~ @disgustinglygay ~ @djnof ~@dragonmcdragonface


@energeticwarrior ~ @ethsera ~ @fabulous-josie ~ @fallinghowell ~ @feministdan ~ @fireboltdan ~ @fireflies-in-the-sky ~ @fireflyphil ~
@flightlessmusician ~ @flowersandflamingos ~ @fringecheck@fringegaps ~ @geewobbles ~ @geneticemma ~ @getadog ~
@goddesslester ~ @gravityphil ~ @hazyphil ~ @hearcomesthesunflower ~
@hearteyeshollywoodhowell ~ @heathenshowell ~ @heavenlylester ~
@helllointernet ~ @howelloddle ~ @i-dunno-phan-you ~ @idkstoppressuringme ~ @ivorylester ~ @k-is-not-amused ~@latte-howell ~
@lavenderlester ~ @lesterial ~ @lesterose ~ @lifeissadphanisgood ~
@littlelilaclou ~ @look-alive-sunshine ~ @lovelylilaclester ~ @lsterr ~


@miaunderstress ~ @mmixhowell ~ @moonphilight ~ @moonstrucklester ~
@mslesterhowell ~ @my-lungs-will-phil ~ @netunophil ~ @nikedan ~
@nonbinaryphan ~ @novocainehowell ~ @obsessed-phan-number-1 ~
@okiwillleavenow ~ @opaquehowell ~ @orbitingphan ~ @panicmeupdaddy ~
@pansexualphil ~ @paradisedan ~ @particularlyqueer ~@peachykeenlesty~
@pearlphil ~ @pebblesandclouds ~ @phaked@phanarts324 ~ @phandabidozie ~ @phanniephil ~ @phanperra ~ @phantastic-times ~
@phantastically26 ~ @phantropolis ~ @phanyounotstarr ~ @philester ~
@philledwithpuns ~ @phillester ~ @phillesterthecerealthief ~ @philop ~ @phurryphan ~ @piercethegingerr@pityhowell@placebophan ~
@pottergotwholocked ~ @prettyphil ~ @princephil ~ @princessdan ~@pseudophan ~ @purepastelphan ~ @puritylester ~


@roseyboys ~ @roseydan​ ~ @rosy-phil​ ~ @rosydnp​ ~ @royaltydan​ ~
@serenephil ~ @shibes-howell​ ~ @shrekdanhowell​ ~ @sin-phil​ ~ @sleepyphan​ ~ @snugglyhowell​ ~ @softdan​ ~ @spacedns​ ~
@spacedust-lester ~ @spiritedawaydjh​ ~ @starboydan​ ~ @starinorbit​ ~
@starryhtml ~ @stylishphil​ ~ @sunflowerphilip​ ~ @sweetpeachlester​ ~
@talkanon ~ @teabaglester​ ~ @theylikeboys​ ~ @thiccdaniel​ ~
@thingswelostinthefire ~ @thisguydan ~ @topazlesters​ ~ @treephil​ ~
@tylertherulerofmars ~ @ukuleleash​ ~ @wavydanrises​ ~ @whendodie​ ~
@willowponderosa ~ @wisehowell​ ~ @x-filer​  @zazzedmemes ~

Again, thank you all so much and idk why you tolerate me but ily!

Lovely people that didnt get included bc tumblr is rude- @hesitant-dan
How to Recover from a Broken Heart

There are few things worse than a broken heart. You desperately want to be free of the pain, and to pick up the pieces and get on with life again. The following suggestions can help you with this.

1) Remember that healing is a long slow process - Breaking up is painful and unleashes strong emotions - anger, hurt, confusion, sadness, loss and emptiness … You may also find you suffer from insomnia, have dreams about your ex and lose all interest in life. If you can hang on in this tough time, and accept the pain it brings, you will find that it will speed up your recovery. So allow yourself to grieve – and don’t expect too much at first – but know that these emotions will pass in time.

2) Accept some relationships are not meant to last – It’s a fact of life that we all want different things, and we’re not always suited to the person we’re dating. It’s not that you’re a failure or an awful person. It’s actually quite normal – even though it feels so sad.

3) Reflect on what you’ve learnt from the relationship – We learn about ourselves and our personality … what we like and don’t like … what we won’t tolerate … and what really matters in relationships. Take the time to process this important information so you grow through your experience … and become more self-aware.

4. Rediscover who you are as a person in your own right – Too often we lose sight of who we are deep down insight - when we’re part of a couple, or a close relationship. But once we’re on our own again, we rediscover who we are – and remember all the dreams and the wishes we once had.

5. Use this time to invest in your interests and passions - Once you start to remember all the things you once enjoyed, and what makes you happy and makes you feel fulfilled, you can start to formulate and work towards new goals. For though it’s good to be in relationships, there’s so much more to us, and so much more to life, than being with one person, and doing things with them

After walking through these steps you will find that you are stronger, and you’ll start to rediscover your true value and worth … and you’ll know that you’ll survive this … and you’ll enjoy life again.

People say all the time, ‘Well, I don’t understand how people could have tolerated slavery?’ 'How could they have made peace with that?’ 'How could people have gone to a lynching and participated in that?’ 'That’s so crazy, if I was living in that time I would never have tolerated anything like that.’ And the truth is we are living in this time, and we are tolerating it.
—  Bryan Stevenson, 13th on Netflix
As an atheist, I see nothing “wrong” in believing in a God. I don’t think there is a God, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a God. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different God, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are.
—  Ricky Gervais: Why I’m an Atheist
I Don't Have a Gay Son.

A few months ago, my oldest son, Charlie, came out to me as a homosexual.

He sat his mother and I down in the living room and confessed everything to us; about how he had always felt attraction towards men, for his entire life. He even told us that he had a boyfriend who he wanted to introduce us to. Justine and I had always had our suspicions about Charlie, but we were still shocked by our son’s revelation.

Suffice to say, Charlie is no longer a son of mine.

You see, every now and again, teenagers in our town get unnatural urges. We try to correct these impure desires early- teach kids right from wrong. If you don’t nip these thoughts in the bud while they’re still young, they’ll manifest as behaviour in adolescence. We pull offending children up and tell them, again and again, from morning worship to Sunday school.

“Your ungodly impulses are a choice” we lecture. “You can choose Heaven or you can choose Hell. Which will it be?” For many youth, the threat of damnation is enough to set them on the right path. But there are those who cling to their perversions, convincing themselves that their lifestyle choice is the correct one.

If only we had beat it out of them. Maybe that could have saved Charlie.

I’ll never understand what compels teens to commit such awful sin. Some say that it’s the media, corrupting the minds of the youth. Others think that it’s just the primal evil of humanity, inevitably seeping through. All I know for sure is that these teenagers go about defiling the Lord, and our town, remorselessly.

There are probably those out there who would call us intolerant. That’s fine by us. We believe that there are some transgressions that simply shouldn’t be tolerated, under any circumstances.

And we will never tolerate abduction, torture and murder.

No, I don’t have a gay son. I don’t have a gay son, because those twisted f*cking bastards killed him.

Writing Prompts.

• I’ve never been so shocked.
• Where can I find you?
• I’m obliged to do it.
• Why can’t you lie to them?
• Who should do it?
• I think we lost them.
• Can you examine it?
• It’s not at all similar.
• It was no coincidence.
• This is terrifying.
• It’s near us right now.
• Am I irritating you?
• Let’s just drive around.
• They were riding with us.
• How much is left over?
• It leads them inside.
• Where do you wander?
• I thought you were joking.
• Does it make you uncomfortable?
• Can we save a copy?
• Why would they come here?
• They did nothing.
• I don’t see any humans.
• It’s right there!
• They failed us a long time ago.
• Why have you done it, then?
• Who loves me the most?
• You ask good questions.
• You need to make up your mind.
• Where will they go?
• We’ve been painting it for years.
• It didn’t scare me at first.
• Did they even see me?
• Where are you running to?
• It wasn’t a coincidence.
• We won’t tolerate this.
• This is a little extreme, isn’t it?
• It’s very strange at night.
• We searched for you everywhere?
• I have an unusual number of brains.
• You lie about every little thing.
• Do you need them?
• They’ve been planning it the whole time.
• I don’t want to talk about it.
• We all regret something.
• It turned sinister then.
• They have no new information.
• Let’s go to the edge of the world.
• Isn’t it could out there?
• We found your card.
• Look at that conspiracy.
• We suspected them.
• Who was present?
• Every few minutes, a car goes by.
• They stole our hearts.
• Are those ghosts?
• Where do the dreams come from?
• He was there the entire time.
• I like your hair.
• Can I call him out on it?
• Are you wearing that?
• It made absolutely no sense.
• I’m so sorry for what I have to do.
• We need to get him involved.
• We’ll need to remove them.
• It’s been a long day.
• Can we release this information?
• We are falling apart.
• I don’t like the way they treat you.
• We need more publicity.

Why do I love Star Trek so much?

Because Kirk once said ‘where I come from, size, shape or color makes no difference.’

Because of the Vulcan concept of IDIC, Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations, a celebration of differences. Because Star Trek showed me a world where we don’t just tolerate or accept diversity, we celebrate it.

Because Star Trek showed me a future where there was peace, a united earth.

Because Star Trek showed me a future where race, nationality, religion, gender, and sexuality did not determine the value of a person.

Because Star Trek showed me a world where we respect ourselves, respect the environment, respect other cultures, and respect people.

I love Star Trek because it gives me hope that humanity can do better and be better. We can still do better.

  • radicals: we should do things that have good ideas behind them and share good ideas, and also stop people from doing things inspired by bad ideas or sharing bad ideas
  • liberals: we should tolerate and debate obviously bad ideas forever on the off chance that they're good, and in the meantime let bureaucracies decide what we actually do

“You can date a transwoman and just not have sex with her/have sex with her and not touch her penis” is honestly not a surprising argument at all when you think about how, for centuries, women’s sexuality has been made more about what we can tolerate than about what we actually enjoy.