Save Me Pt.2
An:This technically isn’t a series. I just add things on as requests come in or ideas come to me for it. There won’t be a regular update schedule or anything like that.
Warning: Abuse mentioned.
I laid on his chest, the steady thumping of his heart still just as soothing as it was hours ago. We’d slept well through the night. My eyes focused on the orange and blue hues of the sky as the sun began to rise. My entire body was sore but most of all was my face. I didn’t dare move for fear of waking Ethan.I found myself wanting to go to the beach to stare at the ocean. Ethan shifted beneath me hugging me a little closer.
I couldn’t fight my smile. A whole year with this amazing guy in my life. How could I ever not smile? I gently rubbed his side and he squeezed me again. I didn’t want to wake him but the ice had long since melted, I was hungry and I wanted to thank them. As slowly as I could I began to wiggle away from him. “Where you goin’?” He mumbled cracking an eye open. His voice was rough and husky making my cheeks color themselves a deep red. “Bathroom..”
He sighed and leaned forward. His lips brushed against my forehead, “Come back..right here..I mean it (y/n)” I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Yes Sir Mister Ethan.” I whispered. I was rewarded with a small chuckle as he released me. I moved as quickly as I could despite the way my body screamed in protest. My muscles from my arms, my legs, my stomach but most of all was my face. I was terrified of actually seeing the damage this time.
I was actually thankful Ethan hadn’t opened his eyes all the way to see the bruises. I could tell that this time they were really bad. I fished around in my pocket for my phone as I walked towards the bathroom. The sun was starting to rise a little more and I knew the rest of the world would come alive soon.
50 missed calls
20 Text messages
I shuddered hoping they weren’t all from my father or I’d be hearing an ear full later. I hadn’t thought about grabbing my bag but as I got to the bathroom I wished that I had. The bruises were beginning to turn a nasty indigo color from my father’s shoes. The other side was a light blue from the slap I’d received. I grimaced as I tugged my ripped shirt over my head hissing as each muscles screamed once again.
I stood in my bra and pants staring at the different bruises that were slowly beginning to shift into different colors. I could feel the nausea starting to take over just looking at them. One of the bruises looked particularly bad and that was the one on my left side. I’d just poked it timidly when the door opened to reveal a groggy Ethan.
He yawned as he moved to stand behind me. His arms wound around my waist as he pressed his chest to my back. “Took too long.” He mumbled as he studied me in the mirror. As his eyes trailed over each and every bruise he held me just a little tighter. He settled his chin over my right shoulder and continued to stare.
This would normally light a fire within my stomach for him, but instead I was left with a cold ache within my chest. I didn’t want him seeing my bruises, the scars that were left over from years of this abuse. “Some of these are old (y/n) How long has this been going on for?” His eyes were becoming more and more alert making me tense within his hold. I didn’t want to answer his question. How could I? How could I tell him this had been going on since my sister had been in the world?
How could I tell him that it started with just yelling and screaming when I was younger and steadily became worse? The words, the tone of voice. I could tell he was becoming impatient. My eyes met his in the mirror and he sighed. “A while then.” His gaze became a bit distant as he began to think. I drew small circles on his thumb as I tried to move away from him. He chuckled and pressed himself close to me. “You’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” He whispered as he pressed his lips to my neck, my jaw and then my cheek.
“Ethan..” I whispered as my eyes began to water. “Don’t do this right now..please..Don’t give my heart hope. Don’t remind me what I can’t have. Don’t tell me it’s okay then turn around and do this to me..”
He looked hurt, “I would never lay a finger on you!” His grip around me tightened and I shook my head. “ Do you honestly think you have to put your hands on me to leave these same bruises on my body on my heart?”
I could tell he understood now. We’d talked about this, about us becoming a thing for a while now but he was afraid. He was afraid of his fans. He was afraid he’d lose me. He was afraid they’d hurt me. He was afraid in general. Ethan wasn’t a man of many words to begin with. He wasn’t a man that expressed himself freely.
I pushed at his hands to free myself. “Don’t, alright I get it. You want us. You want me.” His voice was a whisper, “With you living here…”
“Ethan I never agreed to stay..”
Now he was tense. He released me almost immediately. “Where else do you have to go?Where else are you going to go? You can’t go back there! He’ll kill you!” His words were fierce. His words were correct. Probably more so than he actually realized. “ I can’t just leave my sister there alone with him Ethan.”
“Has he ever hurt her? Has he ever put his hands on her? Has he ever made her black and blue? Hell what else has he done to you?”
I clenched my teeth my heart pounding as memory after memory ran through me. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be so damn angry, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t be angry but I could be hurt. “It doesn’t matter Ethan. You’ll leave, I’ll still be stuck here with him. You’ll go and live your life and I’ll still be trying to keep my sister safe.” My voice cracked belying the tears I was fighting.
“I’m not going to just leave you. You’re my best friend (y/n)” He stepped forward and my butt pressed against the bathroom counter. “Don’t okay. You don’t get to do this right now..You don’t.”
“You don’t either. This has been going on for a while and you didn’t think to tell us so that we could hep.”
“No I didn’t because it’s My problem Ethan. You have fans that depend on you and Gray to get those videos out. You have fun making those videos. You enjoy life and I refuse to be the reason any of that changes. So no I didn’t tell you no I didn’t plan on telling you. No I never wanted you to know. Just like you can’t accept that you’re afraid that you’re falling in love with me. Everyone is running from something.” I snapped before I pushed passed his frozen body. I left my shirt where it was as I continued through the apartment. I snatched my bag off the floor just as Grayson left his bedroom rubbing his eyes.
“(Y/N)?” His voice was raspy, his hair was all over the place and his sweats hung low. “I’ll talk to you later Gray.”
“Wuh..?” The confusion on his face was adorable but I turned and slipped my shoes on. This wasn’t going the way I wanted it to. I don’t even know why I came. Right, my best friends, I wanted to be with them. I thought it would be okay. Instead my heart gave a painful stutter and my hands flew through the locks as I tried to make my escape. A warm hand however covered mine. “ S’wrong?” Grayson asked softly making me tense and shake my head. “ I have to go Gray Bae. I have to go. Right now..” I could hear Ethan making his way towards the front room and looked at Grayson pleadingly.
He sighed and shook his head as he moved away from me. I pulled the door open and slipped out. These movements were reminding my body of the abuse it’d taken but I couldn’t think of that right now. In my bra and pants I ran down the hall of the apartment complex hoping to get as far away from here as possible. The tears I’d been fighting in the bathroom began to fall as my chest seemed to fill with ice.
My entire inside was starting to grow colder by the second. Ignoring the elevator I took the stairs jumping to skip steps. As I got to the first floor I stopped and opened my bag. I fished out a hoodie and slipped it over my head hissing in pain. Though now I couldn’t tell if it was emotional or physical that caused the hiss.
You’re worthless! You’re useless! It’s your fault!
I could hear the echos of my father’s words ringing inside my head making me start to shake as I grabbed my bag once more. I took several deep breaths, pulled my hood over my messy hair and did my best to walk calmly out of the apartment complex.
“Please God, help me. Help me be stronger. Help me help Chasity. Help me save myself.God please save me.” I prayed over and over as I made it out the apartment complex and into the morning air. It was a little chilly but the sun was still rising making it a little brighter outside.
If there was one thing Ethan had been right about, I had no where to go. Living with them was truly not an option. I should have realized that when I woke up on his chest. I turned left and began walking with no particular destination in mind. I wasn’t going to be able to stay there and be around him all the time. Him treating me the way he was and then reminding me that we were just best friends.
Before I could stop it a sob ripped through me and suddenly I was angry. I started jogging. “I’m not some damsel! I’m not weak. I’m not. I’m not..” I began repeating to myself even as my vision blurred. Even as I felt the tears cascading down my cheeks. Especially as I felt my emotions swirling dangerously between hopeless and angry.
My phone started to vibrate but I ignored it. Not in the mood to deal with others I continued jogging. The feeling of my feet hitting the pavement, the feeling of my bag swaying on my back seemed to drown out the pain of the bruises. It wasn’t until I came across the Docks that I slowed. I stared at the water and then I started screaming.
“Why don’t you fix this!? Why won’t you help me?! Why won’t you heal me?! Why won’t you save me?!” I shouted my anger bubbling and boiling dangerously high.
My phone began vibrating once more. I snatched it out of my pocket and hit answer. “ What the hell do you want? To bruise and batter me some more? To abuse me? To push me to the edge?! It’s too late I’m already there. Leave me the hell alone!” I screamed into the phone. It was silence as I breathed heavily my mind finally catching up with my words.
“I called to see if you wanted an extra shift today…but I see you’re not ehem.” My boss cleared her throat. “ Is everything okay (y/n)?” Her voice was soft and I could tell she was trying to keep her voice down so that no one would over hear.
“No Sam, I’m so sorry..” I took a shuddering breath. “Nothing is fine..My father…abuses me.. My best friend seems to think my heart is his punching bag. I have no where to go. I need to protect my sister. “
I listened to her shuffling papers a moment. “ Come by the office. I’ll get you straightened out okay? I promise things will get better. It will be okay. Don’t do anything rash. We’re friends remember? You’re a beautiful intelligent woman and I won’t let you fall.”
It was like she knew just what I needed to hear because the dam broke. “Sam..” I sobbed and she shushed me, “No little bit. Come in. I’ll see you in a bit.” And with that she hung up.
I didn’t know what was worse…the fact that I left Ethan and Grayson with the knowledge that I was and have been being hurt for years. I didn’t know if it was worse that I’d just screamed at my only other friend and my manager Sam. I also didn’t know if telling her everything was the best bet either.
I clutched my phone and dialed my sister’s number. It rung twice before she answered, “(Y/n)?”
“Meet me at Dolly’s. Pack a bag.”
She sighed, “ Okay…have you talked to Ethan or Grayson? They came by…”
My breathing hitched and I shook my head then released a great sigh. “Yeah…I stayed over to theirs..last night.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can..” She told me as she began moving around. Things had to change and soon. I quickly wiped at me eyes. Maybe this talk with Sam would help..Samantha had a way of making everything brighter.
I leaned against the railing as I glanced at my phone. It began vibrating, I watched his name flash across the screen but I refused to answer it. Instead hit ignore and pulled up Twitter.
I blinked slowly as his tweet came up first.
It’s time I was honest with u guys. -@ethandolan 5:45 am
A year ago my life changed at starbucks. I met this girl.-@ethandolan 6:00am
She became my best friend aside from Gray. I’ve been afraid to tell her that I love her..now I’ve lost her. I don’t know where she is- @ethandolan 6:10am
I’m not sorry I fell in love with her guys. She was right though I was afraid. I was running.But I’m not anymore. I’m in love with her. Can you guys help us find her?- @Ethandolan 6:20am
Then he posted a picture I’d completely forgotten about. I stood on the dock with a giant grin on my face with Ethan beside me looking at me with the widest grin showing all his teeth.
Suddenly my phone vibrated with another tweet.
Let me Save you. I love you-@ethandolan