we out this bitch!

for those of y'all who saying we shouldn’t be complaining @ netflix bc baz dropped out that,,, bitch we knew that a long time ago yet they we were foreshadowed the possibility of a season 2 and netflix ain’t say shit for months so pls just shut the fuck up and let us be upset

me: *have very important finals coming up, trying to study* “Ok, now that im FINALLY over mark’s video, i can absolutely, fully concentrate-

Jack: Anti wasn’t referring to Dark in the Pax intro, he was referring to Jack

me: 

MOVE BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY!
Listen………. I’ve been laughing at this for 10 minutes now, okay? That time Merlin straight up murdered someone for dramatic effect. The guy wasn’t even in his way! He’s just a maniac. Running around throwing people off archways… #averagemonday 

The funniest thing is everyone around him just acts casually like this is an everyday event. there’s a pileup of bodies in the courtyard.  

INTERVIEW (MYG)

What is your favorite thing about your girlfriend?” 

yoongi: she has this look in her eyes–I don’t know how to explain it, but when she hears or sees something she really likes, her eyes light up and I feel like I can see Christmas in her eyes 

hoseok: hyung always has his weird look on his face when he looks at her, like all of a sudden he’s smiling 

jimin: like he’s looking at holly

yoongi: are you comparing my girlfriend to holly

(offscreen) JIMIN DID YOU CALL ME A DOG

taehyung: no he called u a bitch 

yoongi: are we done here 

Okay, so I know that we are all thinking what shit friends the girl group are being with Sana, like stop fucking leaving her out. And we are all freaking out about Noora and Yousef talking, like bitch step away from Sana’s man.

BUT I think the big point everyone is missing out on, is that on the metro, we could see Sana standing on her own, the rest of the boys and girls in a group. Yousef must have seen this as well because HE went out of his way, to go and talk to her. He saw that she wasn’t with them and he actually cared enough about her to go and talk with her. He wanted to involve her. Yousef was enjoying her company and wanted to carry on their conversation. The only reason it didn’t continue was because of Sana’s Mum calling. You can see that as she turns around to talk to her mum, Yousef watches her walk away and reluctantly goes back to the group. He was hoping that he could make this joking comment and then develop the conversation. YOUSEF ACAR IS SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH SANA BAKKOUSH.

I messed up bad.

Did I ever tell you about the time I was the front end manager and one register the receipt printer wasn’t working and I had put in a work order for a new one but it takes several days and we are absolutely slammed. 14 out of 15 registers open. Customers bitching to open the last one. I get the bright idea to take the printer off the second counter register that we never use. I have done this several times. Enough times that if I call the help line and tell them our store number they just ask me what I need instead of walking me through repair steps I have done already and a million times before. But this time… THIS TIME! I don’t know exactly what happened I must have had the plug slightly off or backwards or something.

BANG! They was a spark and loud noise and the registers were dead. ALL OF THEM!! When I plugged it in it shorted out the controller card on the mainframe and took out the backup controller too.

The whole store was at a stand still. To say the customers were pissed off is an understatement. I had to make the announcement that the computers were down and it would be at least an hour before they were back up ( had to have a tech come out and replace the controller card on the main and backup computers. It was a once in a lifetime fuckup. No one had seen that happen before. And in all my years never heard of it happening again.

Yes most of the customers left and I had the cashiers start returns. Some of the regulars were really cool about it and hung out and talked to us until the guy came out and fixed the system. One lady even went to BK and brought shakes for the cashiers. I did get into trouble for it but it wasn’t a huge deal as they knew I know what I’m doing with the registers as I am the “unofficial IT department” for half the stores in our district. I got teased over it for years.

So don’t be staid to do your job the best you can. Sure you’ll mess up from time to time but as long as you try hard work your entire job most mistakes can be fixed. I tell my new cashiers “press all the buttons. See what happens” that way when your with customers you know what to do if you hit the wrong key.

TL/DR: I fuck up and crash the store for almost two hours.

-Rodney

  • tmi books: here we have clary, a girl hater who dislikes people purely for being pretty. then Jace who makes unnecessary nasty comments and is so hetero that he can't be seen drinking something pink. this is Simon, a guy who two times on girls but it's okay because "he liked them both so much, he couldn't make up his mind". oh those people, they're...um..m-ma...errr isador...lu..alejand..it doesn't matter they just stay in the background.
  • shadowhunters show: LISTEN UP ANGELS, HERE WE HAVE CLARY FREAKING FRAY, BOSSASS BITCH WHO IS FINDING OUT WHO SHE IS. INSANE RUNE POWER. IS SMOL BUT WILL FIGHT YOU. THIS IS JACE MOTHERFUCKING WAYLAND OR YOU COULD CALL HIM LIGHTWOOD BECAUSE FUCK IS HE APART OF THAT FAMILY. HE MAY BE BROKEN BUT HE FOUND HIMSELF A FAMILY. GOES BACK TO HIS ABSUER TO SAVE HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS. SIMON FUCKING LEWIS, MOST RELATABLE DUDE ON THE PLANET, 100% PANSEXUAL CONFIRMED, BET YOUR ASS HE'S THE FUCKING KING OF MOVIE REFERENCES. NEWS FLASH- THERES MORE THAN 3 MAIN CHARACTERS. Y'ALL BETTER PREPARE YOUR ASSES TO MEET ISABELLE SOPHIA LIGHTWOOD. BEST FORENSIC PATHOLOGIST IN NEW YORK AT 18. COULD KILL YOU WITH HER 7INCH HEEL WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT. MOST COMPASSIONATE PERSON. YOU LIKE HER? WAIT TIL YOU MEET HER BROTHER ALEC FREAKING LIGHTWOOD, LEADER OF THE NEW YORK INSTITUTE, WON BEST BIG BROTHER AWARD 20 YEARS IN A ROW. ALSO HAS AN EPIC JOURNEY OF ACCEPTING HIMSELF. WHAT WAS THAT WE HEAR? GOOD LGBT REP? YOU CAN MOTHERFUCKING COUNT ON IT. THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND MAGNUS BANE, HIGH WARLOCK OF BROOKLYN, KING OF THE SASS, OWNER OF NEW YORK'S BIGGEST HEART, AINT NOBODY'S PET WARLOCK. WAIT WE'VE SAVED THE BEST TIL LAST...LUKE GARROWAY, RESIDENT COP, HAS JUST FINISHED ADOPTING EVERYONE, CONFIRMED DILF, BEAUTIFUL MOTHERFUCKER WITH A GUN AND GLOWING GREEN EYES. WE LOVE ALL MAIN CHARACTERS. WE LOVE YOU. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.

I was just watching the PP1 riff-off and I always forget how fucking adorable Chloe was right at the very end of No Diggity, during those last few seconds where she’s bouncing around and then she mouths the words “we out” along with Beca, then looks at the Trebles like “take that, bitches,” but she can’t quite pull off the hardcore vibe, because she’s just so proud of Beca and so over the moon about the fact that her new favorite person just became a real Bella in that moment, and so it comes across as less badass and more precious happy cinnamon roll.  She’s so cuuuute I can’t stand it sometimes. 

the signs as things my internet friends have said
  • Aries: "I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE SALACADEMY"
  • Taurus: "you never know, there might be furries out there"
  • Gemini: "Bae stop offering yourself as hate fuck"
  • Cancer: "-irritable hissing- this is my salt plain, not yourssss"
  • Leo: "im tall i like to be in the air"
  • Virgo: "You don't go looking for angst. You scream into the void and the angst will answer"
  • Libra: "i feel spiritually connected to obama"
  • Scorpio: "They ar ebreaking out the edibles. Wlecom to san dirgo."
  • Sagittarius: "couldn't decide on characteristics so fuck gregor mendel we're gonna heterochromia this bitch"
  • Capricorn: "turns out someone kept the Buddha inflated all night and it overheated and stopped working"
  • Aquarius: "you're all fonken Slytherins"
  • Pisces: "I can guarantee that my first message back is going to be 'I've finished exams and I'm going to read ALL THE FICS'. Mark my words."
Asking for help on Twitter ! This is urgent !

Brace yourself my dear ARMY and EXO-L friends because we have a new boss to fight and this one is crazier than all the others before her.

@AinsleyPaisley is an EXO-L who’s goal is to destroy BTS’ popularity by spreading horrible rumors. She’s apparently friend with big fan accounts (VIPs, Shawols etc.) and she has a little over than a thousand followers - who all seem to agree with her. She calls Jiminie a pig, she said that Jin looks like he has the Down Syndrome and that Namjoon was the ugliest korean. She harassed small ARMY accounts. She’s basically a bitch.

BUT IT’S GETTING WORSE. She’s apparently trying to spread a new rumor about Jungkookie : a rape rumor. She says that Jungkook raped someone in brazil and she even found a brazilian EXO-L ready to play the victim!

This is getting bad and we have to stop that massive bitch. So please, Don’t even try to talk to her, just Report her! And EXO-L please, don’t let this girl do her crazy shit. She isn’t a true EXO-L she’s just mad and evil. Report her too, take the trash out of your fandom. Thanks you.

UPDATE : Her account has been suspended, congrats ! However she has a new account, @Selja_Helllover, let’s report her massively too please, we have to erase that bitch out of Twitter!

i bet when bts first started to see all those “daddy” comments on twitter, this shit happened

“ Jungkook: *posts selfie*

“Hi army! Have a wonderful day and make sure to stay warm”

Sexually frustrated 12 year old: DADDY 

Jungkook: *scrolls through comments* 

“Hi jungkook”

“I love you”

“DADDY”

Jungkook: wait hol up tf

*checks to see if what he saw was correct*

“wait why the fuck did she call me appa”

“did i accidentally impregnate someone”

“DO I HAVE A CHILD THAT I DO NOT KNOW OF”

“WAIT DID THAT ORANGE JUICE HAVE ALCOHOL DID I GET DRUNK AND FUCK SOMEBODY THROUGH THE INTERWEBS”

*jin walks in*

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE U SCREAMING ABOUT”

“i think i might have impregnated someone”

“WAIT TF U MEAN BY IMPREGNATE”

“I POSTED A SELFIE AND SOMEONE CALLED ME DADDY”

“TF U DUMB ASS BITCH SHE DIDNT CALL YOU DADDY!”

“WAIT WHAT U MEAN”

“SHE OBVIOUSLY IS TRYING TO LOOK FOR HER LOST APPA AND IS TRYING TO SPREAD THE WORD THROUGH THE INTERNET ON OUR POPULAR PAGE, DUH U DUMBASS”

“OH MY GOD! JIN HYUNG YOUR A GENIUS! WE SHOULD HELP HER OUT”

“I KNOW BITCH, YES YOU SHOULD CALL THE POLICE WE SHOULD HELP HER OUT”

*JIMIN BARGES IN*

“BITCHES I HEARD EVERYTHING LETS HELP THIS ARMY FIND HER APPA”

*TAEHYUNG COMES OUT FROM BATHROOM HALF NAKED*

“BITCHES LETS DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR OTHERS FOR ONCE, LETS HELP THIS GIRL OUT”

“HELLO? YES, THIS IS JUNGKOOK…..NO NOT JOHN COOK…. I LIVE IN KORYA, SOMEONE FROM AMERICA, uh yes…i also go by international play boy….SOMEONE LOST THEIR APPA…uh. I MEAN DADDY!”

*hoseok comes in*

“WHY TF ARE U CALLING THE POLICE DID NAMJOON DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL PORN VIDEOS AGAIN!”

*yoongi*

“well, someone commented daddy on jungkooks selfie and now seokjin somehow made the master plan that the girls actual father got lost and she is trying to find him”

Hoseok: WAIT did you say “daddy”, NAMJOONIE HYUNG GETS THAT TOO! MANY TIME, DID EVERYONE’S DAD GET LOST!

taehyung: no wonder why my dad hasnt been calling me

“GUYS WE SHOULD TELL NAMJOON HYUNG”

“IVE BEEN OVERHEARING  YOUR ENTIRE CONVERSATION, YOU GUYS ARE THE DEFINITION OF A DUMBASS, DADDY IS WHAT KINKY OVER SEXUALIZED ARMYS CALL US, IT BASICALLY MEANS THEY WANNA FUCK YOU, OKAY!KJDSJDIH OR YOU JUST LOOK SEX MATERIAL, WHATEVER ,DONT ASK ME HOW I KNOW”

“sorry to ruin your childhood jungkook, no more innocent selfie posting”

Jungkook: *jumps off cliff*

“I JUST WANTED TO POST A FUCKING SELFIE”

  • Me: *is in a coma*
  • Nurse: I wonder how FOB became a band...
  • Me: *rises from bed*
  • Me: It’s summer of 2001, Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “yo, I know about music” and Patrick’s like “yo, I know more about music” “that’s impossible. Do You wanna start a band?” And Patrick’s like “…yeah… that’s cool.” And then he’s like “ yo, this is a book store its not a music store!” And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there, for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And there like “ oh let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green day and fuckin’ misfits and fuckin’ Ramones! Pete said to Joe “yo we gotta change this shit up! Yo we’ve played all these bands let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.” And so Pete and Patrick are like “yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer! And he’s like “yo! I got a soul voice!” And there like “wait, how do you have a soul voice!?!” And he’s like “yo watch this! YEeeeeEeeeeEeeaaaAAAH!” and they’re like “oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!?!!!?!” And then they’re like “yo, this is fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening out with your ex-girlfriend. its called evening out with your ex girlfriend, everybody loves it. Its called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and its real and it doesent matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo what the Fuuuck! Yo this is gonna be fuckin’ dooooope!” So they made a record, and it was called take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like… Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from toto… The fourth one was like the guy from papa roach or something. And they were like, “yo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take this to your grave. Fuckin record it.” And he did it, and he killed it. He was like,Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out! “We should get signed, to fueled by ramen. Cuz these guys know what the fuck is going on.” And they were like “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin hard. We will sign you guys.’ Pete was like ” yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope dude!! Its called, take this to your grave.“ Hey, its gonna be called from under the cork tree, its gonna be fuckin huge. And then Patrick’s like "I gotta keep it real,I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called… This is called Thanks for the memories, 20 dollar nosebleed, and Sugar were going down..” And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts. Like one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!!!! TEN TO ONE! From under the cork tree sold like Four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records!!! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “that’s gooooooooood!” Pete was like “yo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like “yeah its cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “eh… Cool!” And Pete was like “makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that.I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful.” Pete was like “oh my god I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” And then I saw the dick pic and I was like “eh, its not bad. Its not a bad dick. Let’s be real.” Panic! At the disco made rolling stone one issue before fall out boy. And fall out boy made the issue right after Panic! And they were so pissed! They were like “yo fuck you guys!” They were like “YO! Panic has the cover of rolling stone!?! Yo, fuck these dudes, were gonna go fucking miles above! Were gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!” But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time, apparently. They were like “oh shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like “WHAT THE FUCK!” oh you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. Its like fuck you! So from under the cork tree happens, we fuckin have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves its so big! So fall out boy was like, so Patrick’s like “yo were gonna name this record from under the cork tree and from infinity in high.” Pete was like “yo, folie a deux means, the theatric of two.” Fall out boy was like “yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like, “i need time for my music! YAAAAAAHHHH!” And joes like “yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.” And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands.” And they were like, “alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half. we gotta fuckin’ come back dude. We gotta come back STRONG! We gotta make this shit legit. Its gonna be fuckin dope. Its gonna go fuckin sky high. Were gonna make a fuckin record that sails the skies. Were gonna call this record… Save Rock And Roll.” So they made alone together, light em up, alone together, phoenix. And everyone’s like “what the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin recorded avril lavigne and pink!” Pete was like “yo, were gonna end up in tour with Panic! At the disco and Twenty pilots.” And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that’s how the fucking story goes