we miss you andy

10

Some WIPs from my little journal For updated versions go here: http://mon-cheri-fob.tumblr.com/post/136980619611/since-everyone-seemed-to-enjoy-the-original-wips

150 Song You Have To Listen

1.      Troye Sivan-Fools

2.      Troye Sivan – Wild

3.      Troye Sivan – Youth

4.      Troye Sivan – Bite

5.      Troye Sivan – Cool

6.      Troye Sivan – Wild (XXYYYXX Remix)

7.      The neighborhood- the beach

8.      The neighborhood-Daddy

9.      Twenty one pilots-fairy local

10.   Twenty one pilots – ride

11.   Twenty one pilots-tear in my heart

12.   Twenty one pilots - holding on to you

13.   Twenty one pilots - car radio

14.   Twenty one pilots - goner

15.   Twenty one pilots - guns for hands

16.   Never shout never - hey we ok

17.   Never shout never - red balloon

18.   Never shout never - can’t stand it

19.   Never shout never - cheatercheaterbestfriendseater

20.   Never shout never - lousy truth

21.   Never shout never - this shit gets old

22.   Never shout never - lovesick

23.   Melanie Martinez- carousel

24.   Melanie Martinez - dollhouse

25.   Melanie Martinez - cry baby

26.   Melanie Martinez - pity party

27.   Melanie Martinez - sippy cup

28.   The 1975 – sex

29.   The 1975 - robbers

30.   The 1975 - girls

31.   The 1975 - UGH!

32.   The 1975 - the sound

33.   The 1975 - she’s American

34.   The 1975 - somebody else

35.   The 1975 - a change of heart

36.   The 1975 - the ballad of me and my brain

37.   The 1975 - robbers (old version)

38.   The kooks - junk of the heart

39.   The kooks - bad habit

40.   As it is - dial tones (acoustic)

41.   Nicki minaj - only

42.   Crown the empire - millennia (acoustic)

43.   Crown the empire - lead me out of the dark

44.   Bring me the horizon - deathbeds

45.   Bring me the horizon - oh no

46.   Bring me the horizon - follow you

47.   Bring me the horizon – run

48.   Bring me the horizon - drown

49.   Bring me the horizon - hospital for souls

50.   Bring me the horizon – house of wolves

51.   Bring me the horizon – crooked young

52.   Bring me the horizon – Sleepwalking

53.   Bring me the horizon - hospital for souls

54.   Bring me the horizon – house of wolves

55.   Bring me the horizon – crooked young

56.   Bring me the horizon – Sleepwalking

57.   Bring me the horizon – doomed

58.   Bring me the horizon - avalanche

59.   Ed Sheeran – she

60.   Austin jones - leaving this world

61.   Austin jones - drown cover

62.   Wheatus - teenage dirt bag

63.   The all-American rejects - gives you hell

64.   The all-American rejects - move along

65.   The strokes - you only live once

66.   Arctic monkeys - fluorescent adolescent

67.   Tyler carter - hello (Adele cover)

68.   Neck deep - December

69.   Thirty seconds to Mars - city of angels

70.   Thirty seconds to Mars - do or die

71.   Thirty seconds to Mars - up in the air

72.   Thirty seconds to Mars - Kings and queens

73.   Thirty seconds to Mars – This is war

74.   Blink 182 - bored to dead

75.   Blink 182 - always

76.   Blink 182 - first date

77.   Blink 182 - I miss you

78.   Andy Black - we don’t have to dance

79.   Andy Black – They don’t need to understand

80.   This wild life - sleepwalking cover

81.   This wild life - history

82.   This wild life - over it

83.   Motion city soundtrack - lets get fucked up and die

84.   A day to remember - I’m already gone

85.   A Day to remember - Paranoia

86.   Florence + the machine - shake it out

87.   Panic! At the disco - nine in the afternoon

88.   Panic! At the disco - hallelujah

89.   Panic! At the disco - don’t threaten me with a good

90.   Panic! At the disco - death of a bachelor

91.   Panic! At the disco - emperor’s new clothes

92.   Everything but the girl - downtown train

93.   Set it off - wild wild world

94.   Set it off - tomorrow (acoustic)

95.   Set if off - ancient history

96.   Lana del Rey - ride

97.   Lana del Rey - gods and monsters

98.   Neck deep - a part of me

99.   Fort Atlantic - let your heart hold fast

100. Mayday parade - letting go

101. Mayday parade - stay

102. Mayday parade - hold onto me

103. Mayday parade - miserable at best

104. Mayday parade - terrible things

105. Sleeping with sirens - go go go

106. Sleeping with sirens - if you can’t hang (live and unplugged)

107. Sleeping with sirens - iris (live and unplugged)

108. Sleeping with sirens - the strays

109. Sleeping with sirens - 2 chord

110. Sleeping with sirens - November

111. Sleeping with sirens - better off dead

112. The neighborhood - afraid

113. MGK - a little more

114. As it is - you the room & the devil on your shoulder

115. The shins - simple song

116. Luke cutforth- a song about a girl

117. All time low - missing you

118. All time low - therapy

119. All time low - dear Maria, count me in

120. Drake – energy

121. Drake - know yourself

122. Drake - legend

123. M83 - midnight city

124. My chemical romance – Helena

125. My chemical romance – the ghost of you

126. My chemical romance -  Na Na Na

127. My chemical romance – I’m not okay

128. My chemical romance - burn bright

129. My chemical romance - the light behind your eyes

130. Real friends - I don’t love you anymore

131. Real friends - summer

132. Birdy - tee shirt

133. Pierce the veil - Texas is forever

134. Pierce the veil - circles

135. Pierce the veil - song for Isabelle

136. Pierce the veil - bulletproof heart

137. Pierce the veil – Dive in

138. Pierce the veil – Today I saw the whole world

139. Pierce the veil – The divine zero

140. Issues - hooligans

141. Issues - never loose your flames

142. Issues - Disappear (acoustic)

143. Issues – Blue Wall

144. Issues – Coma

145. Issues – Lost-n-Found

146. Issues - Made to last

147. Issues - Rank Rider

148. Issues – The Reales

149. State Champs -  Secrets

150. Asking Alexandria – The black

When Things Fell Apart: Part Three

​- okay so it was highly requested, again I am surprised but let’s go with it - 

- PART ONE - PART TWO - MASTERLIST - PERSONAL WRITING

Walking away my eyes focused on this box. What was inside? Was it something significant to me or to the both of us? But more than anything else was Liz apologising when I turned away. How her own son was afraid to admit to his faults, but was she just trying to comfort me? Probably. I came all this way because she asked me to, I did it with some hesitation but not a lot- did I secretly want to see him again? Probably. Will I let this affect my feelings? No.

Once I was around the corner I lent against a wall and rang for a taxi to take me to some hotel for the night, my flight was early hours in the morning so I’ve got a while to kill. As I finished talking I put my phone in my pocket and saw a familiar dog run towards me, at first I was apprehensive, doubting if I were correct. But then the joyful bark and lick on my wrist made me believe I was right.

“Molly?” I bent down in front of her, stroking her fur and forgot how much I missed her. Glancing up I stood back up, brushing off her fur from my black jeans and smiled. “Hey Andy.” I half smiled, Andy never made much of a scene about the breakup, he was upset yes but didn’t address it with as much force as Liz did.

After greeting me Molly kept brushing her head against my hand, whining as she did so. “Looks like someone missed you as well.” He joked and I went down to her level, allowing her to lick my cheek like she used to first thing in the morning. “We, we miss you.” Andy spoke up and I could make out the sad smile on his face if I squinted, blocking out the sun. Standing up I opened my arms and gave him a hug, being aware to keep the box tight in my grip. As I pulled away he had that look like the others did at the locket. It held sorrow but also gratitude, uneasy I placed my hand on it, unsure what else to do.

“How’s everything been?” I asked, trying to feel comfortable about the matter but struggled to make small talk with someone I used to play games with when I couldn’t sleep from jet lag. He shrugged his shoulders, “Different.” A simple statement that said more than he intended. “I mean Molly misses you, she misses you a lot and Liz talks about you when Luke’s not home with her.” The almost spat out the last bit of the sentence and I was taken back by this. Raising an eyebrow to his remark he shook his head, “It’s not been easy, finding out things.” All I could do was nod before glancing back to Molly who continued to pant loudly.

“Guess there’s only room for one dog eh Mol?” I mumbled under my breath but Andy proceeded to laugh. Immediately I felt embarrassed, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” I covered my head with my free hand. Letting out a deep sigh I exposed my face to the bright sunlight yet again, “I haven’t really spoke about it, at all.” He brought me into another tight hug, similar to the one Liz gave me.

“Take care of yourself.” He spoke up and patted my shoulder, “And do as my wife says with that box, wait until you’re going home.” With that we exchanged goodbyes and he and Molly were off back home, leaving me with more pieces of the puzzle to connect.

Once I got into the taxi I couldn’t help but fiddle with the latch on the box, examining the hinges and the slightly chipped edges, seeing where it had been marked or scratched. Curious to how old or new it could actually be. Yet I had a word to keep, I stopped running my fingers over the smooth wood and placed it next to me instead, glancing at my phone ignoring the sea of notifications before locking it once again. 

Arriving at the hotel I quickly checked in, keeping low key and not expecting any form of attention. Yet since the break up people can’t help but address me from time to time about my feelings, my appearance, about my friends who I’m seen with. Everyone’s a suspect, it leaves me with little security. A gentle tap on my shoulder alerted me and as I turned two girls faced me with opposite expressions written across their faces. 

The girl with dark brown hair flipped her hair behind her shoulder, phone close to hand and kept a straight face, seeming unimpressed. Whereas the other girl struggled to contain her excitement, there had been few occasions where people, fans of Luke’s band wanted to meet me as well as him. Most of the time I offered to take photos on their behalf and ensure they had a genuine experience, yet now with no one else it felt awkward. 

“Hi?” I spoke up to the two girls unsure on what to say as I slipped my phone into my pocket and held my room key tightly as I stayed pressed against the reception desk. 

My name was practically squealed from the enthusiastic girl and I squinted at the sound, apprehensively nodding she engulfed me in a hug, unsure what to do her friend pulled her away obviously embarrassed by the situation due to the light crimson that crossed her cheeks. “Sorry, I just,” She pushed her hair out of her eyes and took a deep breath. “I always wanted to meet you and I’m really sorry about you and Luke.” A sympathetic smile was displayed and I half smiled back, still trying to process what was happening here. 

“Thank you, it’s lovely to meet you guys. You just in the area?” No matter how I look or come across I want it to be pleasant for these people, they don’t deserve sly comments or arrogance. 

They both nodded and told me how they were shopping when they thought they recognised me, “But don’t worry, no one else knows.” I mentally let out a sigh of relief, my plan was to be low key, go unnoticed and then slip back into my everyday life. “Is that the locket?” Brunette motioned to her friend as she raised an eyebrow to my locket which I defensively covered with my hand. 

“How’d you know about my locket?” I asked, generally curious.

“Luke used to post about it or mention it.” She rolled her eyes and all I could do was nod. “Not over him are you?” I could hear her mocking me in her tone whilst the other girl held sympathy in her eyes. 

Shaking my head I straightened up, “We’ve both moved on for the better, I’m happy that he’s found someone who is right for him.” I practically spoke through gritted teeth whilst forcing a smile. 

They weren’t buying it, I knew in that instance by the forced smiles on their faces and how they avoided eye contact with me. Shortly after we parted ways, I went to the lift and allowed myself to relax but the flash of a camera alerted me and I lost whatever peace may have been temporarily in place. 

Walking out of the lift I kept my head low, no one would know me in some average hotel. People who came to hotels in the middle of the day were there to keep secrets, be scandalous, and remain anonymous. You would see people sneak out one by one from these rooms, re buttoning shirts and ignoring one another or wiping their noses, putting sunglasses on and prepare to face reality. That’s the thing about places like these, it’s a short term get away. 

Opening the door the smell of damp hit me hard, I tried my hardest not to pull a disgusted face but it was a few hours, a few hours and then you’ll be gone. Perching on the edge of the bed I stared at the box I placed on the table next to the miniaturized essentials that I couldn’t stop thinking about with an ongoing sense of curiosity. 

I mean, if I opened it they wouldn’t know. But if both Liz and Andy want me to open it once I leave is it serious? What if it’s a pregnancy test and Arzaylea is pregnant with Luke’s baby? Or if it is a strand of Luke’s hair that his mum cut off? Or a letter from Liz to say goodbye? What if it’s something to do with me? What if? 

Standing up I shoved the box in my bag and decided to go for a shower, freshen myself up before going back to a confined state for the next day in my life. Seeing myself as I went for a shower I wish I looked less disheveled, reflecting on the fact that this is how I presented myself to Luke, to his family and to his fans. Groaning at myself I got into the shower wanting nothing more than to wash away the regret that lingered over being here, the images of Luke looking like he did when I would wake up in the morning during his breaks from tour and the picture of her with him instead of me. How his mum told me he was sorry, he made a mistake. In that moment I wanted nothing more than the pool of water around my feet to grow past my head. 

Allowing the cool air to hit me as I opened the door from the bathroom I walked back into my room, decided some music would distract the moans and cries that could be heard through these thin walls that made my skin crawl. Turning the song up to full blast I lost myself in the moment as I swayed from side to side, completely unaware of it ending and the new song beginning. As the song played I froze, it felt like I was back in front of him again. Except he wore a smile and a suit, held his hand out to me to dance in the evenings after dates under the stars where we would be truly alone without anyone to disturb us. We would laugh and dance badly no matter how much we tried. 

Except as I open my eyes there is no suit, no smiles or laughter. I’m stood alone in a towel in a hotel room, completely and utterly alone. 

Part Four // Five // Six // Seven // Eight 

2

“If there’s anyone’s spirit who’d be hanging around to check things out, it would definitely be Andy Wood’s.” - Stone Gossard

“Andrew Wood’s death changed things for a few weeks. I probably got even heavier into drugs after that.” -Layne Staley

“Andy was just starting to come into his own in terms of his talent and what he would have offered as a songwriter and a personality to music.” -Chris Cornell

Happy 50th birthday, Andrew Wood! We miss you. (January 8, 1966 – March 19, 1990)

Waiting on you

hey another fanfic for ya. Seeing as I’m only thirteen, i have personally never been in labour so had to write this from my imagination which was slightly weird and gross :) (also not my pictures so yeh)


This time, Time really wasn’t on your side. Your husband of two years, Andy, was coming back from tour in 3 weeks. Usually this span of time would go super fast and he’d be back before you knew it. However this time there was a slight fault.

This time, you had a daughter due in 2 days.

You placed your hand on your stomach as you felt Evelynn kicking at your stomach. The skype call ringtone began to go off and you pressed accept as Andy’s beautiful face filled your screen.

“Hello my gorgeous pregnant wife. And hello to you Evelynn how are you holding up in there, not long now until we get to see you.”

You laugh and can’t help but fall in love with how genuinely in love Andy seems to be.

“Hi babe. We both miss you so much and wish you were here.” You pout and Andy suddenly looks slightly sad.

“I know babe. It sucks serious ass that I have to be here rather than with you. I can’t believe the tour manager says I can’t come to the birth of my first daughter. Our first daughter, babe, what type of person does that make me? My wife has to go through intense pain whilst giving birth to our beautiful baby girl whilst I’m lounging around on a tour bus wishing I could be somewhere else.”

“That makes you the most caring and amazing man I know. Honestly don’t stress over it babe, it’s not your fault and I know that you did all you could. And anyway, I wouldn’t want you to see me in pain. Now, you go kick ass on stage whilst I get some food and watch a film.”

“Okay babe, love you.”

“Love you to.” You close the lid on your laptop and go into the kitchen, grab some cookie dough ice cream and put on the nightmare before Christmas. You didn’t care that it was the middle of August because this was your favourite film and there was no one around to judge.

“My dearest friend, if you don’t mind… I’d like to join you by your side. Where we can gaze into the stars…And sit together, now and forever. For it is plain, as anyone can see. We’re simply meant to be”

The song filled the front room as you felt a big kick in your stomach

“Woah there Eve, calm down in there, it’s not your time just yet.”

The kicking turned into a pain that slowly became more and more unbearable. Suddenly, you felt huge gush of water come out of you and you stood up, panicking and grabbed your phone to ring your mum. She came round five minutes later and called an ambulance. You lay in the back of the ambulance and the pains were extremely painful and very close together. Your mum called Andy who spoke to you on speaker phone and you could tell he was crying. You heard Ashley and Jinxx calming him down but after a while you had to hang up. Tears were pouring down your cheeks as you were wheeled into a room in the hospital.

Your mum was grabbing your hand and stroking your hand when the doctor came in to tell you one more centimetre before you could push.  Sweat and tears fell down your face and you just wanted the pain to end and to see your daughter.

Suddenly, the door opened slightly and two balloons that read ‘baby girl’ and ‘I love you’ peeped from around it along with a tattooed hand. You recognised the tattoos and burst back into tears as Andy peeked around the door. “Surprise delivery”

You smiled through the pain as he came towards you and plated a kiss on your forehead and gripped your hand.

“What the hell Andy? How the hell did you- what did you- WHAT?!”

Andy laughed as he explained that the tour manager had cancelled few shows and that when he had skyped, he had been in a hotel just around the corner from the hospital. Before you could say anything, the doctor yelled “10 centimeters, we need you to start pushing”

They began to count as you pushed and Andy’s eyes were filling up. ‘Come on babe, you can do this. I can see her head. Oh my word darling she’s beautiful’

“One more push and she’ll be out.”

Both you and Andy were in tears as Evelynn was placed on your stomach and you got to see her for the first time. “she’s beautiful” you whispered. Andy placed a kiss on your forehead and then on Evelynn’s.

“Just like you”

A warm Welcome

But you can try to lessen it

part three to I am lost and Your Other Half

A few months passed and you finally published your first album called “New Awakening - Lost in Thoughts”. The fans reacted better than you thought. One album after another was being bought, a lot of online stores and music shops in general were almost sold out. Of course not every single fan was amazed by your work, mostly because it wasn’t Andy who was singing, but you.

Some fans left because it just wasn’t the same as before, but a lot of them stayed and continued to support you.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s Andy singing or (Y/N)! We have to support them all!”, someone had tweeted and it didn’t only make you smile, but also Andy.

You still remembered the day on which the media reported about Andy’s condition. Fans were going crazy, as well as his parents. They were upset that you didn’t call them and that they had to find out about what happened to their son over the news on TV. You knew it wasn’t a good idea to keep quiet, but it wasn’t your decision, it was Andy’s. He was still upset, hurt and needed time for himself to figure out what to do and to get used to his new living situation, a least a little bit, and you respected his decision.

Keep reading

If You Love Me Let Me Go || Part 4 - Luke One Shot

A/N: finally posting this. So sorry for the long ass wait.
Requested: yes, by a few people

xx

Sitting down on the brown leather couch that I had come to know so well left me feeling both at ease and anxious at the same time. But, the moment Celeste had returned with a glass of water at the same time jack had entered the room with Liz, all of my self hatred sat heavily on my shoulders. In that moment, I realised, with the dull grey haze on Liz’s blue eyes, that I had affected everyone that means something to me with my actions. I thought that by doing this, by letting Luke free, would have made things easier for him. I guess I didn’t think every aspect of my plan through.

“Y/N!” Liz immediately rushed over to me, engulfing me into a hug. “I’ve missed you. We all have.”

“Especially Luke.” Andy stated from behind me. I hadn’t realised he was home as well.

There was a moment of silence that fell upon us as we all waited for something to happen. It was when the voices of the first Hemmings child that the silence was broken.

“I don’t know why you would want me to get Luke out of his room we all know that he won’t come out unless…” Ben had diverted all of the attention to him as he made his entrance. He spoke with full force until his eyes landed on me where he continued to talk with slow words laced with surprise. “Y/N is here.”

I offered him a weak smile as he fully entered the spacious family room. We were never the closest, but I did know him enough that he would do anything to make sure his baby brother was safe. “Hi Ben.”

I was expecting him to have the same reaction towards me as Jack had, but Ben pulled me in my feet and into a hug in record time. “It’s great to see you again.”

The moment we pulled apart, he had taken a hold of my wrist and began dragging me through the house. And, by the time he had taken me halfway up the stairs, I knew he was taking me to Luke’s childhood bedroom.

“He’s been a mess without you.” Ben whispered to me as we stood in front of Luke’s old door. “ and by the bags under your eyes, you are too.”

He left me standing there, staring at Luke’s door to leave me to do what I felt like doing. The several amounts of skateboard decal stickers were still there and there were small little scratches near the bottom of it from Molly. But the one thing that I noticed the most was the old little sign Luke has made as a joke when we first got serious. “No one allowed except Y/N. Unless you have food”. It was taken down a little later, but now it’s back again and it made the weight on my shoulders feel heavier than at the start. I didn’t know whether to knock or not, but I found myself just opening the door. Upon immediate entry, the room was a mess and the large lump on the bed, swaddled with pillows and covers, made my heart beat out of my chest.

“I don’t care what anyone said Ben, and I don’t care how old that stupid sign is, I’m taking it seriously now.” Luke’s voice was muffled, but I could still detect the familiar rasp to it that broke me heart even more; it was the sound his voice made after he cried. “ and, since I can’t smell food and no one’ sheared from Y/N in months, GO AWAY!”

I knew that my voice would fail me, so instead I approached Luke and straddled his back; it was his favourite way for me to wake him up in the mornings.

“What the fuck…Y/N?” The moment my body had touched his through the covers, his head shot up to look at me. Turning over underneath me, he wrapped his arms around my torso as he sat up in bead. “This isn’t some twisted hallucination, right? Please tell me this is real.”
Wrapping my arms around his neck. Leaning in so our foreheads touched. I began playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.“ I’m here like. This is real.”

Suddenly, I had migrated from the top of him to beside him in bed. “Please tell. E you’re here to stay. I can’t go on without you anymore Y/N. I need you. I love you and I just…”

I cut his rambling off with a kiss knowing it was what we both needed. “ I’m staying Luke. I’m so sorry for what I did and I promise that I will never do that to you, to us, again. I love you.”

And, with our bodies wrapped around each other, I finally felt at home. Because sometimes home isn’t four wall. Sometimes it’s blue eyes and welcoming arms.