Today I found my sister working out and was confused as to why. She’s only 14 and should be mixing weird ice cream flavors and going to hang out with friends not doing yoga and 10 minute intense ab workouts. So i asked her why she was exercising and she replies ‘to get in shape’. I was a little upset by this because shes only 14, why should she worry about body image? Shes already thin so i was worried she was harming herself.
Before i gave her the ‘society’s expectations for the physical appearance of women is bullshit’ speech i asked why
And do you know what she said?
“I wanna kick ass”
She wasnt working out to get the perfect summer bod, she was working out to fucking KICK ASS. She said that she wanted to learn martial arts n shit but first she wanted to punch like a hard ass and impress everyone with her muscles
And i was so damn shocked. Now all it seems girls work out for is an hourglass figure and a flat stomach but no, this 14 year old just wants to be strong enough to kickass.
Society tells us that our bodies have to be this perfect replica of friggin Jessica Rabbit. It tells us that the only reason we should work out is to get skinny. It tells us that girls with more weight than others need to diet and jog 5 km a day.
Why should we as women exercise and diet to get the perfect, skinny hourglass body, big butt, and big boobs figure to please men and society??
If we’re going to exercise shouldn’t it be for our OWN benefit? To kick ass? To feel strong, confident and pretty?
Instead of pretending to know what gluten is and hating our bodies, shouldn’t we love them?
Ladies, if you’re going to exercise and diet do it because you want to, not because of unrealistic body portrayals of women.
Do it because you love yourself
Do it to become strong
Do to to become confident
Do it because you want to show off your muscles
Do it like a girl, like a 14 year old girl.
Last fall, I presented a paper on relationship anarchy. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term (or concept), it can loosely be understood as a style of interpersonal relationships that doesn’t prioritize or hierarchialize relationships with others based on what takes place within them, at least a priori. In short, there’s a uniqueness to each relationship which makes their translation between relationships difficult to gather––a kind of ineffability that gets lost or violated in the transition. So, for example, you may relate with someone in a way that tends to be more like friendship: perhaps you sometimes get together for coffee, talk about things that are going on with your life, go for walks, make dinner together sometimes, etc––but, sometimes you mess around, not too often, but sometimes. Then, you may have another relationship that is a bit more weighty––for one reason or another it’s got a trajectory that shoots out into the future, a place where you may see yourself growing vegetables and living together, sharing projects, intertwining intricately. And then, just to have more than two examples, you may have a friend that is more traditionally just a friend: you watch hockey together, talk about books you’ve been reading, get a drink, whatever. There’s a complex calculus taking place in all of these relationships, a shifting definition, murky waters, not only interrelationship but intrarelationship, as well––just because you fucked around last time doesn’t mean it’ll definitely happen this time, just because you didn’t hold one another last time doesn’t mean you won’t this time, etc.
The point being is that, out of the gate, you can’t prioritize based on the activities that go on within the relationship––the only thing that can be said is that the relationships differ. Now, in lived experience, you may want to spend more time with the person who you see yourself growing vegetables with (this is one of the miserable aporias of existence: love seems infinite, but time isn’t…) but this isn’t because you have sex or because you don’t have sex, it isn’t because they’re “more than a friend” or whatever coarse terminology is hoisted upon it––it’s because that’s the way that relationship goes, its particular mode––you require more time with them for one reason or another: they ignite you, they unravel you beautifully, they support you unflinchingly, they catalyze splendid complexity and nuance.
After I presented this paper, I spent some time with one of my former professors, a vibrant and shimmering man with a long philosophical history, but more importantly an insatiable thirst for life, gaiety, and joy––his continuing project being resolutely existential and affirmative. As we rode the bus late at night, he said to me something to the effect of: I absolutely loved your paper, why would we ever want people to be with us who don’t want to be with us? Why would we ever want to exercise power and control over loved ones, for that negates or corrodes love, rots it constitutionally. And then, in passing, right before I got on the bus I was transferring to without him, he said something to the effect of: what you need to be able to do relationship anarchy well is an incredible amount of radical aloneness. At the time, this comment slid right off me, it didn’t stick for an instant longer than hearing it and offering a surface response without thinking, “Yeah, you’re right, I think.”
What does radical aloneness mean, anyway. To me, it’s some sort of commitment to your shit, what you’ve got going on, a wellness and health that supports engagements with others, comes to the rescue when you want to lash out and heave at others, take people down because of your own insecurities. One who has cultivated an abundant radical aloneness can let the other be because they’ve got their own projects and projections, their own vital flow. If the one they love wants to be with others for whatever reason, they can be upset and bothered, even jealous of course, but on the whole everything is okay, for they are fecundity. You only know you haven’t cultivated radical aloneness when it’s too late, when you need it, unfortunately. Radical aloneness shouldn’t be equated with the singular or the individual either––sometimes radical aloneness means that you have fostered relationships with others that support you and supplement you. Other times radical aloneness means being actually alone, but alone is of course always populated by others as well, even if you’re alone in space at a given time.
Events of late have lead to reflect upon the ways that I create, sustain, and tend to my sense of radical aloneness. I think that, in other circles, this would be taken up as self-care, but this is unfortunate, I think. Radical aloneness can encompass what is broadly construed as self-care, sure, but sometimes radical aloneness means fleeing the self, evacuating the self’s rigid postures and habits, and setting out on unforeseen trails––instead of watching over the self, dismantling the self, letting the light shine in, opening up a window, cracking things up a bit. Maybe I’m being too fine with distinctions, but I think there’s a difference. Beyond that, I think that radical aloneness is the wellspring of being with others confidently and creatively: it is from this shimmering becoming that we can glow with others, connect with others in productive and dazzling ways. Radical aloneness as generative and combinatorial, experimental and stochastic, seeking to build and proliferate. Sometimes self-care is necessary to do this: sometimes you just need someone to make you an avocado sandwich, but an avocado sandwich isn’t going to propel you into radiance, just get you into the position where you can once again have the opportunity to luxuriate.
Maybe in subsequent posts I can explore the ways in which I cultivate this radical aloneness, or perhaps the times when it would have been immensely useful to have access to.
“Gotta try new things… what’s the worst that can happen?”
He faceplanted… But he didn’t fail.
He didn’t fail because he tried, and he accomplished more than he would have if he hadn’t tried at all.
Those are rings. Not meant for balancing. He balanced on them!
He did a half of a pushup…holy crappolah guys! That’s so hard to even just balance!!
This is something gymnasts, acrobats, tiny people do!
I’m in complete awe!
Also, sorry about your face, Stephen. Xoxo 😘 we love you!
36. “Wow she’s way better than you, does that make you feel bad?” Shisui to Sasuke, discussing Sakura in a non-mass AU. Requested by @rhosinthorn.
Sasuke was no stranger to hatred.
It had been coursing through his veins for so long that there was not an inch of his body that had not been touched by its flames. He welcomed the sensation of lead settling itself in his stomach and relished in the hollowness of his chest - it always preceded the powerful roar of the Uchiha Clan’s signature move, an expulsion of the fire in his blood that would demolish everything in its path. Soon, then. Soon, the object of his hatred would be destroyed.
“I swear vengeance,” Sasuke hissed. Shisui and Itachi exchanged A Look over the top of his head. They had just hit a new record, too. Three whole hours had gone by without Sasuke swearing vengeance upon something, and Itachi, ever the optimist when it came to his brother, was hoping to hit four.
“Now, now, Sasuke-chan, we’ve talked about swearing vengeance upon people,” Shisui paused and immediately tacked on, “And objects. And animals. And food. And-”
“What Shisui is attempting to say is that this is not a healthy medium for your anger. Please consider the breathing exercises we learned from the DVD we purchased last week.” Oh, the breathing exercises. Itachi loved his brother dearly, he really did. It was why he was willing to brave the masses of weaker men and women who threw themselves at him in an attempt to slow him down. It was why he stood the test of time and walked through the most deadly of arenas, dodging close encounters with bacteria and other subtle poisons. It was why he resisted the most potent of decadent temptations. All for his sweet little brother.
Konoha’s weekend bazaar was honestly more dangerous than anything the Forest of Death could hope to come up with, but it was the only place to get discounted items and Itachi was a stickler for a good sale.
“Can you believe this!” Sasuke ranted, pointing up at the bulletin board outside the Academy doors. “Look at these class rankings!”
Itachi and Shisui both leaned in (Itachi because he had forgotten his contacts again and refused to be seen outside with glasses on; the Laundry Incident was still a fresh wound in his mind) to read the paper pinned to it. “Congratulations, Sasuke,” Itachi praised him. “Second place is nothing to scoff at. You beat Hyuuga Neji by a whole point.”
“Better watch out, I hear that kid is a fucking destiny nut.” Shisui snickered. “Apparently he swears ven-fuck, we cannot let them meet.”
“Don’t you see anything wrong with this!” Sasuke exploded. “Look at who got first!”
“Haruno Sakura,” Itachi read off. “I do not know her or her kin.”
The eight year old made a gargling noise in the back of his throat that sounded a lot like the same sound the toilet made after Shisui flooded it and gestured towards the park. “Her!”
Pink hair, green eyes, and a smile too gentle to belong to anyone considering their line of work. Itachi was half ready to barge into the Academy himself and ask just who the fuck was running admissions and how they allowed a literal cinnamon roll, too small and pure for this world into the bloody shitfest that was the first step into the shinobi world.
Then, Itachi caught sight of the way she was using her chakra to manipulate a small doll to destroy small pebbles and realized she was probably very fit for duty.
“Wow, she’s way better than you, does that make you feel bad?” Shisui asked his youngest cousin. “I mean seriously, Sasuke-chan, you can’t even levitate a leaf and Sakura-chan is already out here mastering the art of puppeteering. We should invite her training sometime, ‘tachi-chan!”
Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched.
“I will have vengeance! Vengeance on her! Vengeance on you! Vengeance on your cow!”
9 Things To Include In Your Gratitude Exercise Today
Gratitude is one of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal for creating the life we want to live - it helps us raise our vibrations, gives us perspective on our problems & helps attract more of what we want into our lives. Using a gratitude exercise once a day can also improve mental health & wellbeing, here’s a few things to include:
1. Sight - we begin each day by opening 2 gifts, our eyes. Giving thanks for our ability to see the beauty of the world around us is a great way to start the day with some positive thoughts.
2. Health - give thanks for a functioning body. Gratitude for the bodily functions we have allows us to appreciate what we are capable of. This encourages us to take care of our bodies with nourishing foods & exercise.
3. Loved ones - the positive energy we surround ourselves with. Showing appreciation for the people we love will strengthen the relationships we have with them & allow us to focus on the energy we want to surround ourselves with rather than that which we’ve moved away from.
4. Life - each breath is a reminder that we are alive. It can be easy to take this life for granted when problems arise, but it’s important to keep in mind that we are blessed to be having this human experience.
5. Technology - information is at our fingertips. The internet has connected us all and made it easier than ever for us to gain knowledge that can help us and share our own journeys to help elevate each other.
6. Nature - we are surrounded by beauty. We live in a beautiful world, taking time to appreciate it allows us to clear the mind of the stresses that keep us distracted from the now. Give thanks to the trees for the oxygen they give us and give thanks to the birds for their songs.
7. Experience - take the good with the bad. All experiences have something to teach us, without these experiences we would not be who we are today - give thanks for the lessons learned along the way.
8. Love - the cure for all negativity. Appreciating the love we have in our lives - especially our love for ourselves - invites more of it into our lives. Focusing on the love in our lives takes our attention away from negativity and minimises its influence on us.
9. Air - the life force energy. Taking long, deep breaths in & out sends a signal to the universe that we are in abundance - instead of short, sharp breaths that can stimulate our fight or flight response and send the signal fear & scarcity. Living in the state of abundance attracts more of what we have.
‘We are uncomfortable because everything in our life keeps changing - our moods, our bodies, our work, the people we love, the world we live in. We can’t hold on to anything - a beautiful sunset, a sweet taste, an intimate moment with a lover, our very existence as the body/mind we call self - because all things come and go. Lacking any permanent satisfaction, we continuously need another injection of fuel, stimulation, reassurance from loved ones, medicine, exercise and mediation. We are continually driven to become something more, to experience something else.’
- Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha.
Hey guys posting this to this blog because I want to spread this little message.
So I haven’t been in the best place mentally lately (it happens to me periodically, but i can take care of it so no need to worry) and sometimes I am able to cope with my writing and sometimes I fall too hard too fast and I find it very difficult to write. In an effort to overcome that I had an idea for a writing exercise:
We all have flaws and things we don’t like about ourselves but we also have things we may not even realize we like about ourselves or things we wish people would notice in us- qualities we value. So I’m proposing to all you writers out there (and anyone else who may want to try this) to write about yourself from the perspective of someone else (real or imaginary). The goal, however, is to promote self love so write about yourself with a loving outside perspective! You can write as much as you like, but at the very least write a few loving, caring sentences about yourself.
You can choose to post these or not post them but I would love it if we could spread this because as a writer I think this could be very therapeutic.
If you were a character in a book you would be adored- so make yourself a character and talk about the weird quirks we would all love about you!!!
1. Mindfulness - grounding ourselves in the now using our senses. Negative thoughts can stem from the past or future, but rarely are they created from the now. When we bring our awareness to the present moment we see that these thoughts have no relevance - we can do this by losing our minds and coming to our senses.
2. Creativity - soul expression. We can express the emotions our negative thoughts bring up for us creatively which gives them an outlet - rather than trying to ignore them which only increases the resistance inside us and allows the negativity to manifest in other ways.
3. People - positive vibe tribe! Voicing our concerns with someone we trust or a professional can help to alleviate much of the negativity that surrounds these thoughts. Through expressing how we feel we are confronting these thoughts head on and increasing our awareness of how they affect us which decreases their impact the next time they arise.
4. Awareness - stop following the thought train. We need to become aware of our thoughts - which is where meditation can be extremely helpful. Becoming the watcher of our minds allows us to observe where our thoughts are going and make conscious decisions as to which thoughts we want to feed energy to and which thoughts we want to turn our focus away from.
5. Self-love - a lack of self-love is the root of all suffering. Negative thoughts do not cease forever, we just get better at dealing with them - one way to do so is by loving ourselves. If the negative thoughts revolve around the way we see ourselves this can be remedied by showing ourselves love - exercise, rest, healthy food & doing what we love.
Negative thoughts are a manifestation of what we feed our minds, spending time doing what makes us feel good will reduce the frequency and intensity of negative thoughts. We must also become aware of what triggers these thoughts and confront that which we’re being presented with.
We are uncomfortable because everything in our life keeps changing – our inner moods, our bodies, our work, the people we love, the world we live in. We can’t hold on to anything – a beautiful sunset, a sweet taste, an intimate moment with a lover, our very existence as the body/mind we call self – because all things come and go. Lacking any permanent satisfaction, we continuously need another injection of fuel, stimulation, reassurance from loved ones, medicine, exercise, and meditation. We are continually driven to become something more, to experience something else.
This isn’t a Taylor related post BUT I’m feeling pretty proud of myself. In April I decided I really needed to become healthier and lose weight. Not only for my health physically but mentally as well. A lot of my anxiety and insecurities came from my body and appearance.
This is my progress so far.
I never thought I’d fall in love with exercise and clean eating but here we go!
My body is a lot healthier but more importantly my mind is.
So excited to continue on this journey
Law of Attraction Secrets: How To Manifest More Money
Many of us have seen others misusing money and gained the perception that it is evil, this is part of the reason why we find money difficult to manifest in our lives. The following tips will help you to think and act in ways that attract money into your life.
1. Energy - become that which we seek. Money is energy, if we want to attract more money - we have to be in tune with this energy. If someone gave us $1 million - we’d probably jump out of our clothes and start celebrating - because we are embodying the same energetic frequency as the money.
In the process of manifesting money we need to embody the same energy as what we’re seeking - we can do this by eating healthy foods, exercising regularly and doing what we love. These activities will bring our energy levels up and in alignment with what we’re seeking.
2. Law of exchange - what are we giving? Everything in nature operates within this law - humans breathe out CO2 & the trees use it to give us oxygen in return. With this in mind it is important to think about what we’re exchanging for the money we’re seeking - nothing is free in this world.
3. Mindset - are we worthy of what we’re seeking? It is extremely difficult to attract something we believe we can’t or shouldn’t have - this is why we need to create a vision of a reality where we already have what we seek. This creates a shift in our way of thinking & begins to bring the dream into reality.
Creating a clear picture of what our lives will look like in this reality helps to manifest it. Add details to the picture - what each day looks like, how the money will come into your life & what it will be used for.
4. Health - money without health is poverty. What good is the money if we don’t have our health to enjoy it? What good is the million dollar mansion if we can’t walk up the stairs? Taking care of our bodies & minds is of vital importance to manifesting the reality we seek.
Frequent trips to the hospital & being plagued by demons of the mind will significantly reduce the chances of manifesting the life we love. Prioritising our health will greatly improve our mental clarity & enable us to remain focused on the path to manifestation.
You attract what you are - become that which you seek.
I went on a 2 hour hike with River at a provincial park near me, and man was my legs and but on fire! (Along with my shoulders cause I got a sunburn and a million mosquito bites 😓)
We walked this path that brought us to the waterfall (which was underwhelming since we couldn’t even get close to it; picture 5) and it wasn’t a loop. So we walked down these “stairs” then up a huge rocky hill/path, just to see the falls. Then had to turn around and walk down the rocky hill/path and then up the “stairs” and my god 😩 everything hurts. But we had fun! And River loved it!
Late in the 19th century when Darwinism was coming to full vogue it left many philosophers in a quandary. Where did love fit into this new way of thinking? The great German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche famously wrote “what does not destroy me makes me stronger”. Life was, in nature, incredibly cruel and indifferent to suffering. This very cruelty, this harsh unrelenting competition, was the machinery of evolution. Life is, and always has been, one organism taking the energy of another.
Energy is a cycle.
If a gazelle eats the grass of the African plain then she is taking the energy that plant absorbed from the sun. If the lioness eats the gazelle then she is taking the energy that the gazelle took from the grass and that the grass took from the sun. When the lioness dies the vulture takes the energy from the sun that the lioness took from the gazelle and that the gazelle took from the grass who took from the sun. It is thus on land and in the sea.
Life is taking.
The state of nature is one of constant war. In this war as in all human wars it is the small, the weak and the young which are the most vulnerable. This process of competition weeds out the weak, sick and ill adapted creatures leaving only the strong. Then late in the evolutionary game a creature arose who can rise above this state of perpetual war. That creature is us. Human beings. Homo sapiens sapiens. We can love not just our own children or our own species but all things.
Love allows us to rise above.
Just as the lotus flower rises from the mud of the pool into the air, clean, pure and beautiful so have human beings risen from the primeval state of brutish raw nature. Thus, we love all, when we are compassionate we exercise the highest form of consciousness. We and we alone have the ability to become sublime and exalted above all other living things.