TO EVERYONE WHO GAVE THIS BOOK ONE STAR WITHOUT READING IT:
First off, know that I am not going away. I am going to stand here and scream this from the rooftops as many times as I have to. Because I am tired of my voice and my story being drowned out. This book tells my story. If I get even one person to at least consider they might be wrong, if even one person buys this book because of me, then I’ve made a difference.
I respect your opinion and based off of the original synopsis I completely understand why you felt that way - indeed I agree with you. I understand why the initial synopsis made you angry, really I do. The b.s. trope that lesbians (or any LGBT+ girl) can be ‘cured’ by finding the right boy is not just offensive and incorrect, but incredibly, incredibly harmful. And when it’s used as much as it is, it leads to people in the real world justifying their homophobic thoughts with - “I can f**k that girl, she’s secretly straight anyway. I can make her change her mind. She just needs the right guy.” Corrective rape is a very real danger and one that is directly impacted by words like those in that synopsis.
But this isn’t what the book is about. When the author, Julie Murphy @andimjulie, was informed of how offensive and harmful the synopsis/blurb was she started arranging to have it changed. Because here’s the thing: authors don’t get to write those. Some random person at the publishing house does. It’s that random person that made the harmful words and who misunderstood the book.
The new synopsis is up on this goodreads page now . Please read it and maybe consider changing or removing your rating?
Because this book isn’t about 'lesbians can be cured.’ This book is about bisexual girls, girls just like me, who grow up not knowing that they are bi. Believing that because they like girls they must therefore be lesbians or because they like boys they must therefore be straight. I’m the latter; in this heteronormative world I spent years believing I was straight before I realised.
This book is for all the girls like me who think they fit into one box because they like someone and then one day, realise they have feelings for a different gender. It is about how confusing and scary and downright terrifying that is. It is about lying awake all night thinking “but does liking this boy mean i was straight all along?” “do i actually like him or is it because i’m supposed to?” it’s about worrying that you can’t change your identity because people already know you as a 'lesbian.’ Worrying that you’re just attention seeking or greedy or unable to make up your mind, that you’re on the fence and you need to choose.
This book is about the moment of relief when you finally find the name that suits you - bisexual. Or, perhaps when you decide that it’s okay to not know for sure right now. And how much weight is taken off you once you know who you are, and you have an identity.
I haven’t read the book yet but the new revised synopsis reflects that the book will actually be about those topics. You’re punishing the author for what someone else misunderstood and wrote as a harmful piece of promotion. Notice how different (and not harmful) the synopsis is now that it’s been written with the author’s suggestions instead of just by some dude? That to me suggests that the book itself, written entirely by her, will be much more like the new synopsis than the old one.
Oh, and you will also notice that I mentioned I haven’t read the book yet. So how then, you wonder, am I able to sit here and say that the book will be about all of the things above?
Because I am that girl. I went through all of those things. Mine was vice versa to Ramona - I believed that I had to be straight because I liked boys and if you like boys that’s all you can be right? Wrong. It was so, so hard for me to figure out who I am, where my place in this world is. It took me four years to get where I am (I’m 18 now). And I still haven’t finished this journey - my parents don’t know. I know, from reading this new synopsis, that that is what this book is about because I have lived it. I know because the author is bisexual, married to a man - she has lived it too.
Tumblr I just don’t get it. We cry and cry for more representation but when you have it you destroy it’s chances with negative reviews before it’s even begun. All because it’s the “wrong sort” of representation. You don’t want this bi girls story, my true story, because it shows that sometimes girls who like girls also like boys. Not always but sometimes. And sometimes we end up with those boys.
Please, buy this book. Promote this book, please at least undo this low rating until you have read it. This book could have saved me so much heartache when I was fourteen. It could have let me know that I was not alone. It could have saved me six months of self-harm, an emotionally abusive relationship, bullying for being 'frigid.’
I didn’t have this book when I was facing all those things. But the next bi or pan girl could. We could save them.
Representation is important. Lesbian representation and positive, good representation at that, is important. But so is bi girl representation. And this book just happens to be one for the bi girls. This doesn’t have to be either or, bi girls existing doesn’t mean that lesbians do not. Please, let’s not harm each other’s chance at representation. Let’s support each other.
Please, at least let’s read this book before we give it a rating. Please help the next girl like me before she is hurt.
Can you truly look at the mirror and say I have forgiven myself? ____
For the past years we hear and listen to people talking about how excited they are because Ramadhan is coming or that we find people busying themselves with preparations for the coming of the blessed month of Ramadhan.
Sometimes we question our own self, how come they feel so much genuine sincerity and happiness about it?
Have you ever felt that moment where you are excited but your heart is not fully, let’s just say, prepared? Half full, half empty emotion?
It’s because you may have done so in forgiving others, asking forgiveness from other you may have wronged but you forgot something very crucial in this journey, yourself.
We forget that we have hurt ourselves so much for the past months until Ramadhan comes. We forget that we have hurt our souls so much for not praying consistently until Ramadhan comes. We forget that we have neglected our obligations as Muslims until Ramadhan comes.
Often times, we preach to other people about forgiveness, taqwa and what such yet we forget to preach to our ownself- until Ramadhan comes along.
Do you know that you are a chosen one? Yes you were from the beginning because you are a Muslim but do you know that Allah chooses you again and again? - every year He chooses you to reach Ramadhan so you can redeem yourself, why? because Allah wants to see you in Jannah.
If you are thinking that you are the worst person because of whatever you have done in your life, then know that Ramadhan is a door for which Allah makes you enter so you can repent from all of these sins that you have done and give you a hope and opportunity to ask from Him, from His Love, from His Mercy and from His Guidance.
Forgive yourself. You may think you are the worst person right now but for Allah with every call of yours He answers you back three more times. And know that you coming back to Allah makes Him so happy and pleased more than a mother who is reunited to her long lost child.
So learn to forgive yourself, clean your soul by forgiving before you enter Ramadhan.
My dear, it is only when you do so will you feel the sweetness and understand the true essence of saying “Ahlan wa Sahlan ya Ramadhan! Welcome O Ramadhan!”.
Make it count. Repent sincerely.
Make your way back to Allah.
He is waiting for your call and He prepared an answer that has in it more than what you will ask of Him.
O how Merciful is Ar Rahim! O how Generous is Al Kareem! Allahu’akbar!
We ask Allah to enable us to reach Ramadhan with a purified and cleansed heart and soul. Allahumma balighna Ramadhan!
A perfectly healthy sentence is extremely rare. Sometimes I read one which was written while the world went round, while grass grew and water ran. Good writing is obedience to conscience. There must not be a particle of whim or will mixed with it. If we can listen, we shall hear.