we just ran out of time

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Harry Styles: Singer Opens Up About Famous Flings, Honest New LP
One Direction's Harry Styles goes deep on love, family and his heartfelt new solo debut in our revealing feature.

January 2016. There’s a bench at the top of Primrose Hill, in London, that looks out over the skyline of the city. If you’d passed by it one winter night, you might have seen him sitting there. A lanky guy in a wool hat, overcoat and jogging pants, hands thrust deep into his pockets. Harry Styles had a lot on his mind. He had spent five years as the buoyant fan favorite in One Direction; now, an uncertain future stretched out in front of him. The band had announced an indefinite hiatus. The white noise of adulation was gone, replaced by the hushed sound of the city below.

The fame visited upon Harry Styles in his years with One D was a special kind of mania. With a self-effacing smile, a hint of darkness and the hair invariably described as “tousled,” he became a canvas onto which millions of fans pitched their hopes and dreams. Hell, when he pulled over to the side of the 101 freeway in L.A. and discreetly threw up, the spot became a fan shrine. It’s said the puke was even sold on eBay like pieces of the Berlin Wall. Paul McCartney has interviewed him. Then there was the unauthorized fan-fiction series featuring a punky, sexed-up version of “Harry Styles.” A billion readers followed his virtual exploits. (“Didn’t read it,” comments the nonfiction Styles, “but I hope he gets more than me.”)

But at the height of One D–mania, Styles took a step back. For many, 2016 was a year of lost musical heroes and a toxic new world order. For Styles, it was a search for a new identity that began on that bench overlooking London. What would a solo Harry Styles sound like? A plan came into focus. A song cycle about women and relationships. Ten songs. More of a rock sound. A bold single-color cover to match the working title: Pink. (He quotes the Clash’s Paul Simonon: “Pink is the only true rock & roll colour.”) Many of the details would change over the coming year – including the title, which would end up as Harry Styles – but one word stuck in his head.

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“It was no secret the way that we feel”

“A love that’s so pure, a love that’s so real”

“You showed me your world and it felt like a sign”

[You’ve shown me all kinds of amazing stuff, I never knew existed. I just wanted to pay you back. Show you something amazing, here on Earth.] 

“But you acted too slow and you ran out of time”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you”

“You didn’t have a clue”

“So you went out and got busy”

“And found somebody new”

“And now we’ll be just friends”

[What are friends for?]

“We will be just friends”

[You’re the best friend a guy could have.]

iconic moments from mtv scream

•"so who cares if she IS a lesbian"
•bella thorne died immediately and everyone was pretty much ok with it
•when noah went to the party and got fucking wasted after like 2 beers and they put him on the lake
•"noah are you a virgin" “no i’m a regular man slut”
•tyler was like a huge deal but he had nothing to do with anything
•when audrey flipped will in front of everyone and whispered “how does it feel to take it in front of everyone” in the most menacing and badass voice i’ve ever heard in my young life
•THE BOWLING ALLEY EPISODE THE BOWLING ALLEY EPISODE
•brooke taped a knife to a stick and noah was like “wow she’s so badass” but all she did was duct tape a knife to a stick
•the Daisy song which was honestly a banger
•that time emma kept seeing the ghost of will but he was like cut in half haha ew
•"noah do you know how to use a gun" “yeah” and then he immediately handed it to audrey
•when piper was revealed to be the killer and she went “hashtag mind blown” to remind us all that this show was on MTV
•WELCOME HOME GIRL INTERRUPTED
• jake’s last text message ever sent was “jakey likey :) we good?”
•THE SPIKED BOOZE THE AYAHUASCA THE THREEWAY KISS BETWEEN ZOE AND NOAH AND AUDREY WTF
•eli ? just like eli in general
•jake’s body fell on brooke and it showed everyone’s reactions and the face audrey made was like :/
•that time audrey literally almost knocked noah out with a bookend
•that time audrey DID knock noah out with chloroform
•when noah was guessing audrey’s phone passwords and he put in “noah” and then looked offended when it didn’t work
•when they like ran into branson at the movies??? and they all dragged him??? in front of him???
•eli sneaking into those ppl’s house just to make toast and watch em sleep
•when the model home caught on fire and emma was like “we can’t just leave!!!!” and eli was like “yes we can just leave and that’s what we’re doing lmao”
•that bitch HALEY who died SUCKING DICK
•"hey zoe! zoe-ologist"
•audrey and emma paused to argue about their relationship while literally standing over noah’s coffin when he was buried alive and rapidly losing blood
•stavo visited noah in the hospital and did that thing where he grabbed his foot? and he drew him a comic awww
•emma and audrey got increasingly gay as season 2 progressed
•"you know it wasn’t me. except that’s…..what the killer would say!!! haha it’s not me. it’s really not me.“
•the reveal of kieran THA SNAKE wilcox
•"haha” -kieran
• the Memorable emrey movie date
•the weird halloween special that accomplished nothing but at least everyone was wearing floral
•the whole show?

Sweet Creature

Click here if you’d like to listen to the song to help set the mood. x

It was one of those days.

Harry adored his job. He really did. His work was his first love, he always said. But there were certainly days where it all got to be a little too much.

He woke up at six in the morning to be greeted by a rainy and foggy sky outside. He spent a good ten minutes gazing at the great love of his life, her hair splayed in all different directions from having forgotten to tie it up in a ponytail like she usually did. Her lips were slightly parted, and her eyes were still puffy from the night before. He exhaled a sigh at the memory of it—it was the first time they’d really fought in a little while, but it’d been a doozy. Exhaustion took it’s toll on the both of them, but they were both too stubborn to admit it. It had been over something petty that he wasn’t even angry about anymore, even though at the moment in all seemed so important. And even though they tried to never go to bed angry, their tired eyes beat out the need to make up.

He exhaled a soft sigh as he watched his love, and he could see the tension built up in her features still from last night. He didn’t want to wake her just yet, because he knew that she would not love being woken up at six in the morning if she didn’t need to get up. The two of them rarely ever got a good night’s sleep anymore, and he didn’t want to take away her rest.

He got himself out of bed and walked over to the bathroom, going about his morning routine as quietly as possible as to not wake his girls. Within half an hour he was dressed up in a pair of black jeans and one of his button-ups. Usually he wouldn’t get so dolled up to go out this early, but he had a few morning radio shows he was making a live guest appearance on and impressions mattered to him. Having decided to get breakfast on the way to work, he quickly slipped out of the house without making a sound.

The rest of the day didn’t get any better.

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F*ck you, pay me…

Apologies for the length. The revenge is sweet though.

I was a contractor with a small business (Company X) that did consulting and other services for bigger companies. I usually worked directly with these bigger companies and was operating largely as a direct employee of Company X, though not on site.

I enjoyed the work but some of the people at Company X were d*cks. Just petty nonsense like talking shit about me in meetings, and for no reason that I could discern. All their clients loved me; I was good for business. They were just being d*cks, like d*cks do. It didn’t matter. Since I was working mostly with Company X’s clients, I didn’t have to spend much time communicating with the d*cks.

Every month I sent my invoice to Company X, and the terms were they had 30 days to send payment. At some point, they promoted their main accounting guy (one of the d*cks, henceforth, D*ck Accountant) and hired a Deputy Accountant, who was put in charge of satisfying invoices, such as mine.

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I had to run for my life today, something I hope I will never have to do again. I knew there was a possibility of a terror attack in Stockholm but I’ve never truly realised it… today has been jarring and I’m an emotional mess, I’m just so sad for the people who were hurt and their families but also everyone who would be hurt by the increased islamophobia and racism in Sweden if it turns out the attacker wasn’t white… you know who ran with me and were absolutely terrified? Two girls both in hijabs. We are all terrified and we are all victims, but we need to spread love at this time and not hate.

anonymous asked:

i'm bitter because noora always gets so much screentime but also because it makes NO sense this season and they didn't even try an explanation? like can we at least know why chris and sana aren't as close anymore? also, vilde and sana seemed closer than noora and sana in s2 and 3 but that doesn't fit julie shoving noora into every scene so we get caricature vilde instead

I know, I was actually really excited at the start of this season because it was a chance to explore the other side of the girl squad. Sana and Chris were the two who were originally friends and I’ve always been curious what their relationship would be like… but I can accept that Ina is busy. Maybe in-universe they weren’t as close after Chris got absorbed with Kasper but like you said, it would be nice to have given them a nod? Wouldn’t Chris at least still be texting her pictures of cats tagged “it u” or something? But actually the relationship in the girl squad I’ve always found the most interesting for Sana is Vilde

They were introduced as the polar opposites of the girl squad and their conflict and its dramatic resolution was the basis of establishing that they’re all friends in the first place. Sana’s had a lot of big emotional moments with her (“I threw water in Ingrid’s face because she and her friends called you a slut for hooking up with William.” “Vilde isn’t a mean person. We’re her friends.” ‘What are you talking about? You’re our bus boss.” “She’s actually the first one I would take to war with me.”) So, even if they were in conflict, I think it would have been way more interesting to put more time into exploring Sana’s relationship with Vilde.

I would have loved this season be more about driving out the problems between them: their shared leadership (just last season they ran Kosegruppa together, this is a thing they do), Vilde’s prejudice getting pulled into the light and confronted, maybe Vilde saying something about how she doesn’t think Sana respects her (two of the nicest things she’d said about Vilde have been said to other people, how good would it be to parallel this in s4 with Sana answering her this time?). We could still get this but Vilde hasn’t really been the face of the conflict (we spend so much time on the Pepsi Max girls) and she’s already been presented as SO unpalatable and SO islamophobic this season. I would much rather first be exploring why Sana said this (and then seeing it break down):

Instead… we’ve had Sana and Noora against the world. It feels strange to ignore that Noora and Eva are best friends and just a little too convenient to me that Noora is number one in Sana’s books once we get to her season. That’s Skam’s biggest weakness, I think: shuffling around their characters from season to season based on what’s convenient and not keeping emotional continuity. Imho, I just think this is far too much time spent on her when she already had an entire season to herself and a significant focus during s1. Why can’t we be spending our remaining minutes on characters who’ll never get the spotlight (*coughs* also Even)? Who have a more organic relationship with the lead? Why instead do we have so much wasted energy on things that don’t even seem to go anywhere (Noora/Yousef, Vilde/Magnus, Noora and Sana talking to those random guys at the cafe)??

So yeah maybe I ran out of questions but you ran out of answers.
where the fuck were you when i was half drowned in a bottle of whiskey just asking for a text back?
where the fuck were you when life crawled under my skin and tore itself out from the inside?
where the fuck were you when I was going through it last November and you said looking at pain this close made you uncomfortable?
where do you get off with telling me I shouldn’t talk to him and that he’s bad and he only cares about one thing when the only goddamn time you were interested in me is when my clothes were off and yours were too
look at this game we played because it never was that to me but you only just now put your cards down so you could hold her fucking hand and
i can’t be mad about it I can’t feel it in my chest like a jolt of electricity i can’t beg for you to come back when you were never even here so
yeah
maybe i ran out of questions
but only when you stopped fucking answering them.
—  so block me again we’re not even friends– lily rain
Pidge Headcanons
  • Jewish
  • Trans Girl
  • Autistic
  • ADHD
  • Her parents are actually really good about The Trans Thing but they took a while to believe it because she was so much the stereotypical Young Boy with Autism
  • (good with computers since she was tiny,  probably had a dinosaur phase)
  • Her family’s probably from up north but she constantly uses southern expressions constantly because she’s besties with Keith
  • (”y’all we need to separate and go abut this as individual lions” *something goes wrong in a code she’s writing* “Ain’t that just the way”)
  • Shiro’s Favorite
  • “Alright team, we all need to train really hard to defeat zarkon” “But Shiro I’m tired.” “alright pidge, you go take a nap, i’ll be there to tuck you in in a second.”
  • Number one clothes thief
  • The whole team (especially Hunk and Shiro) know to never spend too much on clothes because inevitably pidge will “borrow” them to sleep in/stay warm and they’ll never see them again
  • (shiro loves it though. he probably buys things just for her)
  • was probably just starting transition when we first saw her, so doing that thing practically all trans girls do where they start out hyper feminine just so people Know but she’s probably not all that femme as she gets older
  • patently refuses to wear anything other than boxers/boxer briefs
  • even under dresses
  • once the team ran into a group of humans who had gone into space, and one mentioned that they didn’t think a /girl/ could be a paladin
  • Pidge, looking him dead in the eyes:”ive got more balls than you”
  • cusses constantly
  • Biggest Lesbian
  • Lance (bless him) once asked her, when they were all really tired and it was like. Sleepover talk time you kno? He asked her “if she had to pick a guy”
  • She said Zarkon
  • (really it’s probably Hunk)
  • Speaking of lance and hunk she probably dropped Several Hints that she was trans and just. Neither got them.
  • Lance:*struggling to open a jar* Pidge:*pops it open with one movement* “How-” “testosterone poisoning”
  • Gets carried by keith constantly even though he’s not that much taller than her
  • Her and keith frequently have Autistic hangouts where they both just. Go nonverbal or communicate in noises or stim freely
  • They’re super comfortable with each other, she never wears breastforms/a bra when its just them and he never binds because they love each other
  • She’s really attentive and knows when he’s self injuriously stimming and knows when to give him a tangle or her hand so he can just. Squeeze instead of digging his nails into his palms/picking
  • Her and keith are. Bad skin buds
  • Saw the jersey devil once
  • It was just a cow
  • Was abducted by an alien once
  • it was keith
  • Speaking of keith, pidge is the only one allowed to touch/get anywhere near him when he’s on his period
  • “Pidge it started” “do you want a heating pad or some midol” “i want to die” “bitch why are you always ordering off the menu”
You’re Not Dad

A/N: Not that anyone cares I’ve been hella busy and haven’t had time to literally write anything and I still really don’t, but I’m going to anyways bc I have some inspiration. Enjoy. Feedback is always appreciated(:

Characters: Dean x sister!reader, Sam x sister!reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, overprotective Dean, mention of death, yelling, very close relationship b/w Dean and reader? let me know if I missed anything

Tagging: @winchesters-favorite-girl because I think she might be interested and I really love and look up to her as a writer. I hope you don’t mind.

Originally posted by canonspngifs

Originally posted by zest-wincest

You loved your brothers more than anything in the world. I mean, you were practically raised by them. John was never around, your mom was just some quick fuck that John had on a hunt. As soon as demons got word that John Winchester knocked up some chick and he had another child, they came and killed your mother when you were only a few months old. Thankfully, your mom got John on the phone as they were trying to get in and he was in town so he saved you. Not your mom though. Dean had been 16 at the time, Sam was 12. You were by far the baby of the family and Sam and Dean made it their mission to protect you from everything. And when I say everything, I mean literally everything. You were never even supposed to have been born. But nevertheless, here you were seventeen years later, alive and kicking, living in the bunker with Sam and Dean, the two best brothers in the entire world.

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8

Let me tell you somethin’: it’s black people everywhere, you remember that, okay? Ain’t no place in the world ain’t what got no black people, we was the first ones on this planet. I’m from Cuba. Lotta black folks in Cuba but you wouldn’t know it from being here. Was a wild lil’ shorty just like you, used to run around with no shoes on when the moon was out. This one time… I ran by this old, old lady, was just a runnin’ and a hollerin’ and cuttin’ a fool, boy. And this old lady, she stop me and she say to me, ‘Look at you. I was a lil’ bad ass too, you know.’ She say, ‘Look at you’ and I say ‘Look at you!’ Then she smiled and she say, ‘running around catching up all this light. In moonlight’ she say, ‘black boys look blue. You blue,’ she say. ‘That’s what I’m gone call you: Blue.”

MOONLIGHT (2016) dir. Barry Jenkins

If I could touch you one more time
If I could please you one more time
If I could kiss you one more time
If I could hold you one more time
I would never let go.
If I could control your feelings I would make them the same as mine and give you all you deserve. But I can’t. It’s impossible. My love for you wasn’t something I could quit on. No. Even when I knew you were fading away I kept trying. I couldn’t help but try to be the best man I could for you. It was what you deserved. Even when your rejection hurt the shit out of me. I still trusted in myself I could make things better. That I could fix things. But you had to severe the ties we made with each other. You are going through something that I can’t fix. My actions of affection do not help anything and it hurt me to see your love for me fade away like it was dust in the wind. It was too soon, but love doesn’t care for time. Love and time don’t last for us humans. So the best thing I can ask of you is to never let someone treat you worse than I did. I just wish we could do this one more time, but your clock ran out of me.
—  kajecollins

TRUE STORY–THIS HAPPENED ABOUT EIGHT YEARS AGO, BEFORE I WAS MARRIED.

I was pretty surprised when I ran into B at the Home Depot. It had been at least a year since I’d seen him–since just before his wedding. We’d met when I moved to the city about 5 years ago and we were living in the same apartments. We spotted each other running a couple of times and introduced ourselves when we ran into each other at the apartment gym. Soon, we were work out partners. Soon after that, we were grinding our hard cocks together in my apartment. We were both dating women and we never did anything too serious. B was a stud and usually liked being on top as we made out and explored each other’s bodies. He had an awesome ass that I loved holding onto as he’d grind into me. Once, when he showed up drunk late one night, he let me eat that awesome ass, but a general pattern emerged of us making out, stripping each other, and him pumping a load down my throat as I stroked my fat dick. We were a good match and had a lot of fun until he got married and moved to a different part of the city. Our last session had been hot. He was more tender than usual and seemed like he was really going to miss me. For the first time, he even swallowed my load. It was a memory I’d stroked to many times in the last year.

And now, here B was, with that amazing ass on full display, right in front of me at the Home Depot. When I said hi, he looked just as surprised as I was. He and his wife had bought a house that was right around the corner from the condo I’d moved into. Looked like fate wanted me and B to be neighbors again. As we talked, I could have sworn I saw his dick growing in his shorts. I have him my new address and told him to come by anytime as we parted ways.

I can’t say I was surprised when B showed up that afternoon, sweaty and shirtless from a run. He was barely in the door before he had pinned me to the wall and was kissing me passionately as he pressed his sweaty frame into me. He’d been working out in the last year and his body felt better than ever. As I moved my hands down to that incredible round ass, he let out a deep moan.

We worked out way to the couch and he laid on top of me, grinding his rock hard dick into me as he kissed and licked my knock. His passion was real and he told me he hadn’t been with a dude since the last time we were together. I reached down for his dick and immediately remembered how amazing his hard thick rod always felt as it exploded in my throat. But as I started to move take his dick out of his shorts and get it into my mouth, he resisted, holding me down and grinding into me harder and harder. and then everything changed. In one move, he rolled over so his face was against the back of my couch and I was grinding against his back, my own hard dick pressing into his beautiful ass. The harder I ground my dick into him, the more he moaned. He buried his own head in the couch pillows to stifle his moans, but his seeming submission was making me feel more aggressive than usual. I pulled him back by the hair and told him I liked hearing him moan like a bitch. That alone made him moan louder than ever as he backed his ass up against me and ground into my leaking dick.

I couldn’t believe my luck when he realized he’d reached down and lowered his pants to expose his smooth bubble butt. I matched him move for move and pulled my own shorts down just enough to free my raging 8" dick. As I ground my hard dick against his bare ass for the first time, I could feel the precum leaking out of me. He was like a bitch in heat as he pushed into me, moaning and talking shit about how good I felt. How much he’d missed me. How much he needed this.

As he fagged out beneath me, I knew I had to take advantage of the moment. I lined my slick cockhead up with his tight hole and pressed as he worked his ass back into me. He moaned and almost cried as I forced my thick head into his nearly virgin hole. It took a fair amount of pressure and a series of short hard strokes to get B fully impaled on my rod, but he was clearly loving having my raw dick inside him for the first time. He writhed and bucked beneath me as I began to fuck him in earnest. As hot as it was to hear him moan and cry out as I plowed his hole, I pressed his head into the couch pillows so my neighbors wouldn’t hear me fucking this stud in broad daylight.

With his body pressed into the back of the couch and his head in the pillows, he reached back to hold onto my ass as I railed him. As his ass loosened from the fucking, he began to really buck beneath me, fucking back into me in time with my increasingly brutal thrusts. As I felt myself getting close, he turned his head from the pillows and begged me not to cum inside me. But it was too late and I told him so. I told him I’d swallowed dozens of his loads and now it was his turn to take one of mine. and I knew he wanted it. He’d come here to get my load this time and I was going to give it to him. Despite his protests, he whispered yes over and over as I ravaged his hole and my orgasm built.

When I exploded inside him, pressing his body firmly into the couch, his upturned ass worked every bit of my load out of my pulsing cock as he moaned beneath me. The incessant clenching in his ass as I came made it clear he was cumming to. My married top had just taken my raw load in his ass and had cum from the experience.

Within two minutes, he was up with his shorts and shoes back on, ready to head out. As always, he took a cigarette (wife wouldn’t let him smoke) and kissed me passionately before he left. After that, I only ever saw B around the neighborhood and we seldom spoke. But the summer after this happened, I did see B and his very pregnant wife at a neighborhood festival. I thought I might be in for some public fun when he followed me to the bathroom, but he just wanted to give me a message. As we left the bathroom, we whispered to me that he’d knocked his wife up the same day he’d seen me last. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, but he had to stay away from me now that he was going to be a dad. I knew then and there that I could get back in that ass if I tried, but B was a quality dude and I decided to respect his wishes and stay away from him. While that was the last time B and I hooked up, I stroked so many loads on that couch, looking at the stain he left when he exploded from the fucking I’d delivered. One of the hottest of my top experiences.

Friendly reminder that I’m accepting wlw selfies!

To The Boy I Never Dated But Still Broke My Heart

Once upon a time you made me feel special. You gave me hope. For once I had self confidence. Just thinking someone as perfect as you would take time out of their day just to text me. I actually felt pretty for once. When you would tell me I looked cute or my outfit was cute I got butterflies. More than you could ever imagine. You, just being you, made me happy. I never thought of you just wanting me for my body, or anything like that. Mainly because of the way we talked. We talked like we were best friends that had known each forever. There was a few times where we had ran out of things to talk about but we always found something, even if it was the smallest thing. Like I said “once upon a time”. Well time always runs out eventually. When I noticed we were drifting I broke, I really did. I didn’t know I cared about you so much until you weren’t there as much. Whenever you started dating someone, I felt my heart break. I started crying, instead of making me happy you made me cry and break. I always act happy. I usually am. I just cared so much about you when you just kinda disappeared you took a piece of me with you.

socktrollqueen  asked:

Today is a not a good day for me mentally. My hubbs keeps calling me from work to check up on me. I'm just in one of those moods where I want to vanish for a bit, but responsibilities demand my attention. So, I am having a cry before my child gets home from school. I have started therapy and we are discussing medications and I know that is a good step. But I'm terrified all the same.

It’s going to be okay.

YOU are going to be okay. This is a temporary thing with your brain being a dick, and you will get through this.

I’m so proud of you for starting therapy, and looking into meds to help your brain get the help it needs to stop being a dick to you.

If I may suggest something: I practice a version of cognitive behavioral therapy. The short and overly simplified version is: when I feel my brain throwing a sad or depressive or negative thought at me, I stop what I’m doing, and I make the effort to consciously remember something awesome that happened that made me happy. It doesn’t matter what it is, just as long as it’s a good memory. It doesn’t even have to be a big, complicated memory. It can be like that time I ran my first 5K, or the time I switched on my emulator and it worked! It can be a quiet walk I took with Anne (I have a lot of those to choose from) and specifically how nice it felt to hold her hand. 

We have tons of good memories, and sometimes we have to make the effort and work hard to find them, especially when it’s easier to feel bad about something.

Also, it’s OKAY to recognize that a thing made you sad, and then sort of visualize putting it on a shelf or in a bag or just kicking it out of your way for a moment while you pay attention to that good memory.

There’s science which tells us that the experience of recalling something happy produces the same neurochemicals as actually having that experience, so even though this can feel like woo woo mystical bullshit, it’s a real thing.

So your homework is to think of an awesome thing that happened, just a moment when you were really happy, and recall something specific from that moment. Your brain may try to be a dick and do this thing where it goes, “and that’ll never happen again.” or “and I didn’t deserve it.” When your brain does that, it can be a challenge to stay focused on the good memory, but you can do it!

You’re gonna get through today, I promise. Send me a note tomorrow and let me know how you’re feeling, okay?

So like, a few years ago, I was on this holiday in Wales.

And it was pretty nice, my family go there a lot, we stay in a caravan or sometimes like a little bed and breakfast and we just relax and have a nice time, like a week off from everything.

But this one year we were looking through this rack of leaflets about tourist destinations and we found this zoo, Folly Farm, which is really nice and you can see it at folly-farm.co.uk.

And they had orangutans at the time, but they don’t any more, as you can see on the list of animals they have on their website. My brother likes orangutans a LOT.

So we thought yeah great let’s take a trip to see some animals because the only other zoo any of us have been to is the one in Chester which is fine but we’ve seen it all, we wanna see some new fresh animal friends.

The way there was fun, we took a coach with lots of Welsh families on a day trip and we made a few friends and we still keep in contact with the driver.

Then we got there and that’s when the problems started. My little brother, who was eleven at the time, ran off by himself almost immediately. We couldn’t find him and so we had to split up to search multiple directions like we were in scooby doo or something.

After a couple of minutes, I found him by the orangutans. But he wasn’t just looking at him. He was fucking IN THERE with them, just chilling. I didn’t want to get him in trouble by calling an attendant so I just had to go in there myself and try to get him out. I say try because it was almost impossible. According to him, the orangutans were his friends, and they didn’t like the zoo, and they just wanted to go on a day out themselves. I asked what the fuck he was talking about but before I could drag him out of the enclosure he had run away with one of the orangutans.

I gave chase, of course, but they were incredibly fast. He barreled through the entire zoo with the orangutan in tow, and made it all the way back to the coach. He dived on, and shouted at the driver to GO, GO, GO.

In all my life I’ve never seen something so ridiculous. The moment the driver actually listened, and pulled away, actually driving down the fucking road with a kid and an orangutan just because he was told to and I guess he thought he was being helpful- that was the silliest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

Thankfully, my stepdad saw it too, and a zoo employee ran over, red faced and panting and panicking. We got in the employee’s car and followed the coach. We wanted to call the police to help but none of us could get phone signal because, like, idk, large swathes of south Wales exist in a different era or dimension of time I guess.

We followed the coach for four hours. Across practically the entirety of Wales. All the way from Pembrokeshire to fucking Rhyl. From the south coast to the north. Honestly, if we’d just kept going it wouldn’t have taken us much longer to get home to Liverpool. We travelled so fucking far in chase of this orangutan, my brother and a recklessly helpful coach driver and every moment of the journey is burned into my mind forever.

This absurd journey finally resolved itself when we got to the white rose shopping centre in Rhyl. Apparently all the zoo animals are fitted with a tracking chip and as we approached Rhyl the zoo had finally managed to contact the police who pulled the coach over and sorted out the whole situation.

We weren’t even angry. Honestly, seeing my little brother again after all that time just made me laugh. We all did. Except the orangutan because I don’t think orangutans can laugh.

But, anyway, the resolution of the story is that folly farm can’t keep orangutans any more because of the lack of security around their enclosure. Nobody got in any legal trouble because the situation was so absurd nobody knew what to do. We left Wales together, and we reminisce on the story at least once a year. I’m just glad we left our mark, even if our legacy is totally bizarre and unbelievable.

Because the zoo, the police in North Wales and practically all of Pembrokeshire have a name for my brother and the coach driver now. A fitting nickname, one that truly captures the essence of what they did, and what they’ll always be remembered for.

They’re known as the Ape-Rhyl Fools.

8

MERRY CHRISTMAS FERRAH over at @forsaken-spirits

Maybe you’ve blocked it out by now, but waaaaaay earlier in the year you signed up for a Voltron secret Santa, and ho ho ho I be your Santa haha. 

I was so thankful when I read your likes/dislikes because I felt we were very much on the same page. You mentioned that you liked Klance, flower shop aus, and beach days (I’m so sorry, I wanted to sneak in a Shallura sub-plot, but I just ran out of time ugh), so I hope this ticks all your boxes haha. 

I hope you have a great christmas and here’s looking forward to a better 2017.

Alpha’s Help

Liam x Reader x Scott / Liam x Scott/ Liam x Reader

Summery: Liam normal asks you for help with his heat, but this month he needs a little extra help

Warnings: threesome, anal, oral, Dom!Scott, Sub!Reader, Sub!Liam, Alpha x Beta kink

AN: This is the most cringie and awkward thing i’ve ever written xD but I had the idea for weeks so… yeah, also so much smut!


Liam frowned as you collapsed onto his chest. This had been a deal between the two of you. You’d come over when he needed help with his heat, neither of you would tell Scott because he’d find his own way to deal with it, the two of you were perfectly content with the current situation.

Or at least you had been four hours ago, when Liam convinced you a few more rounds would get his eyes to stop glowing. But he was wrong, you were tuckered out and Liam was to pent up that he was likely to hump anything with a heartbeat that he came across.

“Maybe we should call Scott?” You mumbled as you sat up, straddling him as you watched him carefully.

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Badly

Jungkook x reader

theme:Jungkook and you always had tension between and one time he comes out of the shower and you are in the room…so things get a little steamy

requested by: taetaesbooty

genre: smut

word count: 5.5K


“I’m so excited!“Jimin said suddenly.

Everyone else agreed but you.
“I would be equally excited if I wasn’t fucking suffocating between these two.“you grunted trying to make yourself more room.

“Y/N no swearing!“Hoseok scolded you at what you just rolled your eyes.

Currently you were sitting in a car, struggling between Hoseok and Taehyung, while Yoongi was driving, Jimin sitting in the seat next to him.

“I just don’t understand why I couldn’t go in the other car? There would be room for everyone!“you said, still fighting elbows with Taehyung.

“Because I want my sister to be with me in the car!“Hoseok exclaimed.

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