we have unlimited juice

Arrested Development Starters

For the lazy option if you can’t pick on, send Arrested Reverse & the mun will generate a random number for the muse to react to or say ( mun’s choice ) // Any words with <highlighted like this> can be replaced with different words, pronouns, nouns, and names. 

  1. AI’m just hoping to get mildly injured.
  2. Will someone please have the decency to punch me in the face?
  3. Stop lying. Stop manipulating. Just be nicer.
  4. I don’t know what I expected.
  5. No sugar for you. You just get more awful. 
  6. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.
  7. I don’t know who that is, and I don’t care to find out.
  8. I made a pun! Even in this time of stress.
  9. Here’s some money, go see a Star War.
  10. I’ll be in the hospital bar. 
  11. It’s <his/her/their> glasses. They make <him/her/them> look like a lizard.
  12. Oh, <she/he/they> thinks I’m too critical. That’s another fault of <hers/his/theirs>.
  13. You spent $68 on hair conditioner?
  14. A small price to pay for self-esteem, <name>.
  15. Would a coward have this?
  16. If you’d tried and failed, I’d understand, but you didn’t even try.
  17. So, I didn’t even fail, and I don’t see you giving me credit for that.
  18. You seem more villainous than usual, <name>, are you sober?
  19. You know, I think you are looking for a reason this isn’t going to work because you can’t handle happiness, and you like to suffer. 
  20. How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
  21. A trick is something a whore does for money. Or candy.
  22. Look what the homosexuals have done to me.
  23. You’re not the one staring 5 years in the face. 
  24. Well, right now I’m staring 100 years in the face!
  25. If you’re saying I saying I play favorites, you’re wrong. I love all my <children/etc> equally.
  26. You taste these tears. Taste my sad, <name>.
  27. I’m a failure. I can’t even fake the death of a stripper. 
  28. My gut is telling me “no” but my gut is also very hungry. 
  29. All I could think was if something were to ever happen to me, how sad I’d be, you know?
  30. I’ve got friends, <name>. I just don’t talk to them because I work all the time. 
  31. Listen if you insist on speaking to me like you’re my <wife/husband/partner>, then don’t be surprised to find my dick in you and then you never hear from me again. 
  32. There’s only one sleeping bag so we’re gonna have to double up. Pigs in a blanket. 
  33. I need you to act as my <boyfriend/girlfriend/partner> to help me get in.
  34.  If you feel something moving down there, it’s just the bird. 
  35. <name> I appreciate your bravery. And I know everything seems doomed now, and believe me, I’m in a similar situation myself, but trust me. We are fucked. We are fucked. 
  36. Oh, I have a list of men that could fill every opening you have. 
  37. Excuse me, does these effectively hide my thunder?
  38. I don’t see you crying, robot!
  39. I’ve got it down to two, but honestly, I don’t even want to choose. 
  40. I just feel… I feel like the prettiest <girl/boy/dancer> at the dance. 
  41. Please tell me there’s some coffee left!
  42. I don’t want no part of your tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch!
  43. We have unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook. 
  44. We loved her/him/them just as much as any of you normal kids. More than <name>.
  45. It’s a great day…. For being sad. 
  46. I was just wondering if you might want to… Bid me fair ‘morrow.
  47. This is no longer a peace pizza. This is a war pizza. 
  48. I’m afraid I just “blue” myself. 
  49. Daddy/Mommy horny, <name>.
  50. If that’s a veiled criticism about me, I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it.
  51. Oh, boy, I got some looks on the bus ‘cause of this. 
  52. Look who feels the sting of an ungrateful <child/friend/etc>. 
  53. <Mother/Father/name/etc>, you have to receive something to be ungrateful. 
  54. “I’m <mom/dad/name/etc>, and I want to shoot down everything you say- so I feel good about myself.”
  55. Here you go, hot tea, ‘cause that’s what you are, a hottie.
  56. I like to fuck with people. That’s what I do. 
  57. I will not take this sacred duty lightly. 
  58. I am going to get you the single most healthiest call <girl/boy/etc> that this town has ever seen.
  59. This is why I’m calling it a “witness,” and not a “<best man/bridesmaid>.”
  60. Look, all you have to do is watch.
  61. Oh, I’m not going to spend this money and not watch.
  62. Actually, I was going to stay in my office tonight and work on my law blog. 
  63. Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?
  64. If you weren’t all the way on the other side of the room I’d slap your face.
  65. I was like a cat. I always ended up on all fours.
  66. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. 
  67. I mean, it’s one banana, <name>. What could it cost? 10 dollars?
  68. You’re telling me there’s no alcohol? What the hell are we supposed to do for two days?!
  69. Oh my god! You still doing breakfast burritos?
  70. If that <man/woman/etc> is straight than I am sober. 
  71. What are you doing? Are you trying to cry?
  72. OH, MY GOD, WE’RE HAVING A FIRE.. sale.
  73. I suppose I’m buy-curious. 
  74. Hey, where the fuck are my hard-boiled eggs?
  75. For there’s a <man> inside me, and only when <he’s> finally out I can walk free of pain. 
  76. Well, I spend so much time making sweet love on my <wife/husband>, that it’s hard to hear anything over the clatter of <her breasts/his chest>–
  77. We shan’t be telling your <mother/father> this, shan’t we?
  78. <name>, you blowhard!
  79. Who’d like a banger in the mouth? Oh… right, I forgot; here in the states you call it “a sausage” in the mouth. 
  80. It’s a tough job, might require some agility.
  81. And that’s why… You always leave a note. 
  82. You know, the universe works in mysterious ways, <name>. You never know where help is going to come from until you look for it. 
  83. I’m a saint, you know. I’m a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it. 
  84. Well, you get a false feeling of superiority. 
  85. That is nice, but this time it’s not enough. 
  86. Illusions, <dad/mom/name>! You don’t have time for my illusions.
  87. Don’t judge me. You’re the selfish one. You’re the one who charged <his/her/their/your> own <brother/sister/friend/cousin/etc> for a frozen banana. 
  88. You’ve never actually set foot in a supermarket, have you?
  89. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes <a diet> is the best defense.
  90. I know you’re the big marriage expert– Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot. Your <wife/husband/partner> is dead. 
  91. Let me ask you, are you at all concerned about an uprising?
  92. Oh! <He’s/She’s/They have> got a sharpened noodle! <pronoun> trying to noodle-stab me!
  93. The next thing I know, I’m running for my life. 
  94. Check your lease, <man/dude/etc>, because you’re living in FUCK CITY. 
  95. <She’s/He’s/etc> trying to prove that <pronoun> closer to my <children/friends/family> than I am…. but jokes on <pronoun>, because <pronoun> doesn’t know how little  I care for <name>. 
  96. I feel like a fucking idiot. 
  97. Well, I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.
  98. Everything this <family/team/etc> does is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to…. set myself on fire!
  99. Why should I have to sit and cheer <name>? <name> never cheers for me.
  100. I can’t. Because I’m… Don’t want to.
the signs as Arrested Development quotes
  • Aries: You must teach me. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.
  • Taurus: Marry me!
  • Gemini: She calls it a "mayonegg".
  • Cancer: I've made a huge mistake.
  • Leo: We have unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook!
  • Virgo: Oh, my God! We're having a fire... sale. Oh, the burning! It burns me! Evacuate all the school children! ♪ Amaaa—... This isn't a fever! ♪ ziiing grace... I can't even see where the knob is! End scene.
  • Libra: I was made to understand there were grilled cheese sandwiches here.
  • Scorpio: I don't know what I expected.
  • Sagittarius: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
  • Capricorn: Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast.
  • Aquarius: I suppose I'm, uh, buy-curious.
  • Pisces: It's a great day... for being sad.
arrested development quotes for your sign
  • Aries: he's a flamer
  • Taurus: I'm afraid I just blue myself
  • Gemini: these are my awards, mother, from army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called "hero squad"
  • Cancer: operation hotmother
  • Leo: everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant it makes me want to set myself on fire
  • Virgo: her?
  • Libra: marry me!
  • Scorpio: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it
  • Sagittarius: spring break. WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
  • Capricorn: there's always money in the banana stand
  • Aquarius: bees???
  • Pisces: we have unlimited juice? This party's going to be off the hook