we have another stations for that

10

Attention please! Due to a blockage on our track, we have stopped at East Daegu Station. We should either wait for the rescue team, or we’ll have to reach Busan in another train. As soon as I end this announcement, I will find a working train and put it on left most track. I repeat, left most track. If you’re alive, please transfer safely! Godspeed. 

- Train to Busan; 부산행  (2016)

170918 BTS ‘LOVE YOURSELF: Her’ Press Conference - Compilation

- Rap Monster: “LOVE YOURSELF: Her is a series following after ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ and ‘WINGS’. This album takes the role of ‘seung’ in ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’ and features 11 songs.” (TV Report) (seung: explanation, gi seung jeon gyeol: introduction - explanation - twist - conclusion)

- Rap Monster: “I think this album will become one of our turning points.” (TV Report)

- Jin: “Please love our song ‘DNA’ that contains our DNA.” (Mydaily)

- Suga: “I was greatly surprised when I heard the news about the number of pre-orders. It was 700,000 for the last album and we were very grateful to our fans and everyone who listened to our album then too. This time we thought we shall grow a little greedier and it would possibly reach 800,000 orders, we were greatly surprised seeing the news. I’m grateful that this many people love us. I think the pre-orders represent the trust and love for our music, I’m really grateful.” (Herald Pop)

- Rap Monster: “‘DNA’ contains our message of reconciliation and unite that we want to throw at the society.” (Mydaily)

- [About the meaning of ‘harmony’] Rap Monster: “I think love is an ability. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love others. I often hear people saying that love is an illusional and vague thing these days. I thought about the method of loving. The time we spend looking into ourselves is getting lesser ad lesser because of smart phones and news media. I consider loving oneself to be the answer to many things. We don’t have the confidence to love ourselves completely, but we want to try and think about that answer. Starting from loving ourselves. That’s how it started. Although we haven’t been able to find that answer yet, we hope we can as we go along with the ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’ series.” (Mydaily, Joynews24)

- [About the whistle sound] Rap Monster: “I and Jungkook did the whistling together but I don’t know which one they used.” (News Inside)

- [About new goals] Suga: “Whenever we receive this question, we always said that our goal is to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart. The Hot 100 chart actually requires having many albums sold, having songs streamed a lot and another important thing is radio play. This is not easy at all. We are holding expectation whether it will come true this time, but luckily US radio stations are giving us a lot of attention and select our songs often, so we’re carefully placing hope this time. Our album is being sold in the US this time and so many people are showing expectation and attention for us so we want to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart this time.” (Newsen)

- Jimin: “I really want us to top the digital music chart when the digital album is released. I hope many people will love all of our songs this time as well as give BTS who always attempt new things a lot of love.” (Newsen)

- ‘DNA’ is a song of an uncommonly seen music structure in K-pop, featuring the foreign trendy EDM pop genre and bold use of beat drop. The song contains the message ‘we are entwined by fate from the beginning, we are one from the DNA’. (Newsen)

- Suga: “BTS members and the company staff often hold meetings together. The album concepts are from our thoughts and the producers’ thoughts merged together. When we first debuted, we each were busy making our own music, but now we combine BTS’ thoughts and the company’s ones and come up with the concepts.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- Rap Monster: “I often have meetings and hang out with the company staff. I talk with the producers, including Bang Shihyuk PD. The company keeps an eye on what we think.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- Rap Monster: “I always want to give good influence socially. Whenever I see people who like us, I feel a sense of responsibility. It can be become their inspiration or be left as good impression to them, but I think even mere appreciation like enjoying listening to our music or feeling our dance to be cool can also give good influence. I’m feeling the responsibility to keep offering good influence.” (Newsen)

- Suga: “Music is an extraordinary act that can moves someone. I hope the world will eventually become a world where many people are happy.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- [About ‘GO Rather Than Worrying’] Suga: “These days the young generation uses words like ‘YOLO’ and ‘spendthrift’, and I can’t understand why they use those words that much. We interpreted it from the perspective of BTS (in the song), I hope you would think about why the young generation uses ‘YOLO’ and ‘spendthrift’ while listening.” (Mydaily)

- [About ‘DNA’ music video] Suga: “We emphasized on the fancy impression to portray the feeling of falling in love. I was amazed every time I see the music video filming set, because it was so beautiful. I feel good since the result will come out great.” (Sports Joseon)

- Jin: “‘Best Of Me’ is a great song to listen to with lyrical melodies. This song was mixed by a partner who works together with The Chainsmokers. I hope many people would listen to it.” (Sports Joseon)

- Rap Monster: “There’s a famous performance in which president Obama dropped his mic to wrap up the new year speech. It was one of the performances that hold the meaning ‘My speech was good, right?’. ‘MIC Drop’ is a track connected with it. It features a lot of our swag and ambitions and was inspired by president Obama’s speech.” (Seoul Kyungje)

- [About collaboration with Seo Taiji] V: “He gave us support and told us that it’s our era now. I can truly feel that it’s an honor to be able to perform together with such a legendary senior singer.” (Mydaily)

- Jin: “Seo Taiji-sunbaenim told me that I can call him ‘father’. I was grateful that he used the word ‘Seo Taiji and Sons’.” (Mydaily)

- Suga: “I call him ‘hyungnim’. He’s way younger than my father.” (Mydaily)

- [About why the start of the series is ‘seung’ (explanation) and not ‘gi’ (introduction)] Suga: “When we consider the process of falling in love as ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’, I think the stage where we are the most immersed in love would be ‘seung’, so the album started as ‘seung’. There will come a moment when you understand why ‘seung’ comes out now if you follow our album sequence in the future.” (Mydaily)

- Rap Monster: “I think a lot about where our goal should be. When we first debuted, I couldn’t even think of working together with The Chainsmokers. Performing at the Gymnastics Stadium was our goal before debut, but now all kinds of unimaginable proposals are coming from inside and outside of our company. I’m curious about how far we can go. Our abstract goal is to climb up to the top and leave a milestone in the history like how PSY-sunbaenim did.” (Mydaily, Joynews24)

- Suga: “We followed the path of the senior singers and now we too need to build that path and advance further. I hope we can build better paths with better sides of us.” (Joynews24)

- BTS: “Although figures are important, we want to show good music and good performance.” (Joynews24)

Shia LaBeouf returns to protest after assault arrest

Shia LaBeouf has returned to his live streamed anti-Trump protest after he was bailed on an assault charge.

Shia was arrested in the early hours of Thursday (26Jan17) morning after a scuffle which took place opposite New York City’s Museum of the Moving Image, where he and Jaden Smith are staging a four year art project titled HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US.

He was charged with misdemeanour assault and harassment before being released on bail.

The project features a camera which streams live footage of members of the public chanting the phrase “He will not divide us”, in protest at the election of Donald Trump as America’s President.

Just hours after he had been led away in handcuffs by New York Police Department (NYPD) officers, the Transformers actor had returned to his protest, determinedly chanting the phrase to camera with the support of other activists.

The 30-year-old’s fellow protesters offered him support after his arrest, saying the actor’s actions were in response to Nazi sympathisers’ attempts to hijack the anti-Trump performance art piece.

One told TMZ.com, “Shia took a hit for us. There were all these Nazis here, he came out and tried to protect us.”

His artistic collaborator Jaden also tweeted, “#FreeShia” in reference to his friend’s arrest.

Footage captured by the camera has shown scuffles between the star and people who have shouted white nationalist slogans to camera.

On Sunday (22Jan17) the star reacted angrily to a man shouting the words, “We must ensure the existence of the white people as a race,” while in another incident a man was shown saying “Hitler did nothing wrong”.

It is not known if Shia’s arrest was related to the confrontations with those shouting racist slogans.

The actor will appear in court at a later date to address the charges of misdemeanour assault and harassment.

NYPD officers have been stationed at the protest since Monday (23Jan17).

© Cover Media
About grocery stores opening on Sundays/Christmas Eve

So, for the past couple of weeks people in Germany have been discussing shop opening hours on Sundays and especially this year on Christmas Eve (which happens to be a Sunday).

Situation in Germany is the following: Grocery stores and retail in general are closed on Sundays. There are exceptions but that’s the rule. Also, for Germans (idk if all of them but a lot of them) Christmas Eve is important. That’s when people celebrate with their families. (25th and 26th as well but the main thing for us at least, happens on the 24th).

Now, legally, shops as in grocery stores are allowed to open on Christmas Eve when it’s on a Sunday. A lot of shop owners and grocery chains have decided NOT to open on Christmas Eve and let their employees have a day off instead. And here come the people who complain about that. And let me tell you, I hate those people. With a burning passion. Let me explain why grocery stores opening on a Sunday is shit in general and Chrismas Eve in particular.

So here are some of the arguments those people come up with:

1) “People in hospitals, retirement homes and restaurants also have to work on Sundays! What’s the problem?”

Okay, listen up. For some professions it’s impossible not to work on Sunday. You can’t just leave sick people or the elderly alone for a day. You can’t even compare the two! For fuck’s sake you can buy groceries on Saturday, grandma who’s suffering from dementia can’t just be left alone on Sundays.

Now, it’s true that in restaurants, cinemas and service stations people work on Sundays, too. And yes, that’s debatable. Why do some people have to work to entertain others on their day off? Some industries rely on people to have free time to survive. Cinemas surely can’t be open weekdays from 9-5. Who goes to see a movie during those hours?

But for one thing, a lot (!) of restaurants are closed around Christmas. For another… enough people have to work on weekends and times that aren’t beneficial to their personal lives. Do we have to make it worse? And what even is this? “There are people working on Sundays, more people should work on Sundays because I want to go shopping on Sundays, too!” Well, go fuck yourself, entitled dickhead. Fuck other people’s lives because you can’t be arsed to do your shopping during the 6 days a week and 12 hours a shop is open.

2) “Some people want to work on Sundays (because they’re not religious or whatever)!

Great, good for you. Let me explain you a thing. What having to work irregular shifts or working on 7 days a week does to people. The weekend or Sundays in particular have been and still are (for the most part) an institution trade unions have fought for. The majority of people still work traditional working hours. Imagine a family. Imagine them with irregular working hours. Dad’s day off is Wednesday, Mom’s day off is Sunday. It doesn’t matter if your day off is a Sunday or Wednesday, right? Now, problem is: When exactly are they supposed to spend time together when everyone’s got their day off on a different day? Working on Sundays isn’t a problem because you’ve got another day off instead, right? No. That’s not how it works. Free time isn’t free time. Some "free time” is worth more.

Another scenario. Most people working in retail and grocery stores are women. Dramatically underpaid, working hours already irregular enough. Now add Sundays, so some entitled assholes can go shopping. An example. What are single mothers supposed to do now? How many kindergartens open on Sundays again? Hey! We could change their hours, too! So kindergarten teachers can work on Sundays as well! That’s gonna solve the problem, right? Fuck off.

And if you really want to work on Sundays… there are enough industries working on Sundays. Maybe go find a job there then.

3) Grocery stores in other countries open on Sundays what are you whining about?

Trade unions are strong in Germany. Worker’s rights are a thing in Germany. And that’s done a whole lot of good for us. I know for some people it doesn’t feel like it. But please compare our situation with countries with less powerful trade unions and then we can talk.

4) “Shop owners should be allowed to decide for themselves when to open their shop.”

Ah yes, neo-liberalism. Let people with power decide over the lives of underpaid workers without any limits. Yes, that’s good. Other countries do that, let’s do that to Germany, too. It’s not shit enough here already. Workers rights, who needs that?

5) “What if i forgot to buy something and need to go buy it but it’s Sunday?”

Oh noes, how will you survive? Sundays happen every week. Christmas Eve is on the same fucking day every year. Retail workers are not responsible for your shitty planning abilities.

6) “You gotta keep up with times, shops have to compete with online shops so they have to open on Sundays!”

Good luck trying to buy something from amazon on a Sunday and having it delivered on… you know. Sunday. Not even people at amazon work on Sundays. No one delivers on Sundays. What are you even talking about? Also, whose fault is it retail is forced to compete with amazon & co? Oh right! Customers! If customers weren’t such egoistical douchebags who think everything and everyone has to cater to their needs people in retail could work much more humane hours. But you know…

7) “Shops have to open on Sundays so people who work long hours can do their shopping!”

Grocery stores are open for at least 12hours a day. You wanna tell me you work 12hours a day / 6 days a week? Really? You really want to tell me you couldn’t do the shopping then? What the fuck is wrong with you?  

And now it’s not just Sunday it’s Christmas Eve. Can’t you just let people have one fucking Christmas Eve without having to work? I hate you, entitled little shits.

Badly

Jungkook x reader

theme:Jungkook and you always had tension between and one time he comes out of the shower and you are in the room…so things get a little steamy

requested by: taetaesbooty

genre: smut

word count: 5.5K


“I’m so excited!“Jimin said suddenly.

Everyone else agreed but you.
“I would be equally excited if I wasn’t fucking suffocating between these two.“you grunted trying to make yourself more room.

“Y/N no swearing!“Hoseok scolded you at what you just rolled your eyes.

Currently you were sitting in a car, struggling between Hoseok and Taehyung, while Yoongi was driving, Jimin sitting in the seat next to him.

“I just don’t understand why I couldn’t go in the other car? There would be room for everyone!“you said, still fighting elbows with Taehyung.

“Because I want my sister to be with me in the car!“Hoseok exclaimed.

Keep reading

A fallen bookmark on a Thursday afternoon

Pairing: Jungkook | Reader
Genre: ANGST, Fluff and soft Smut
Word Count: 19k




He came to you like the air comes into the train station after the fast arriving of the machine.

It comes fast and unexpected, making you hoist your head to look at the long vehicle and the people inside. It is so fast you can’t even distinguish the different wagons.

As the train comes to a stop, the wind that it creates plays with your hair, leaving you breathless.

That’s how Jeon Jungkook came into your life.

***

“I’m so done with this shit,” Paula complained as you climbed down the escalator. “I don’t have enough time for anything.”

You smiled as you adjusted your backpack.

Paula and Rachel were one of your best friends at University. The three of you had a lot in common and you always found something to gossip or laugh about. Since you met them the first day of uni, two years ago, you knew you were going to love them. And you did.

“Teachers suck,” Rae complained, sighing and turning left to go to the platform where you had to take the train. “They think we don’t have anything to do besides their own subject.”

“Yeah, they tend to forget about the fact that we have another four fucking subjects,” you laughed, making Paula and Rae laugh too.

You remember feeling happy that afternoon, despite the huge amount of studying you had to do when you would arrive home. Maybe it was because you had started your practices at the hospital as a nurse that week, or maybe it was because of the incredible view you had of the majestic business towers of the centre of Seoul from the train station. Maybe you were happy because you were with your two friends laughing and venting about the teachers. Maybe you were just happy.

As the train made its entrance into the station you remember hearing a loud noise, basically because it made you jump in your feet.

“What the fuck?” your murmured, bringing a hand over your chest, where your heart was beating rapidly.

You turned around to search for the origin of the noise as the wild wind the train created played with your hair, making it fly all over the place.

When you managed to put back your rebel strands of hair into place, your eyes landed on the source of the noise. The loud sound had been made by the hard wheels of a skate making contact with the ground. Your eyes slowly travelled from the wheels of the skate up to the boy who was on top of it. His eyes were fixed on his mobile phone, engrossed in the music that was playing through his headphones.

You were left breathless as the boy with dark brown hair passed by your side, creating a new wave of wind that made your hair fly again.

“Y/N?” Paula asked, waving a hand in front of you.

You snapped and tore your eyes away from the boy, who had stopped a few metres away and had planted a feet on the skate so it would flip upwards and magically land into his hands.

“Hmh, what?” you asked, bating your eyes innocently, waiting for the people to get off the train so you could get in. Your cheeks turned red as you saw your two friends looking at you. “What?”

“And I thought I was the indiscreet one,” Rae laughed.

You blushed even more when you realised that you hadn’t torn your eyes away from the skater boy for nearly an entire minute, your eyes cautiously following his every move.

“I heard a loud noise and I got scared, okay?” you tried to cover yourself up.

“Oh, c'mon Y/N. Don’t lie to us, you were eating the boy with your eyes.” Paula laughed as you stepped into the wagon.

You softly punched her arm. “Like you didn’t get scared because of the noise.”

“I did, but I didn’t checked the boy as if my life depended on it.” Paula said, laughing again at you. You took a seat, reminding yourself to be more discreet the next time.

“I promise I didn’t do it on purpose, I wasn’t even aware that I was looking at the boy like that,” you finally said, knowing that your two friends wouldn’t stop teasing you until you recognised it.

“I don’t blame you, the boy was hot,” Rae said, shrugging.

“Speaking of the devil…” Paula said, wiggling her brows, indicating you to look forward.

And when you did, you blushed again, your eyes meeting the boy’s for the first time as he took a seat a couple of seats away.

For the second time that day, you were left breathless as you felt yourself falling into the depth of his black eyes.

“You’re looking at him like that again,” Rae laughed.

“Oh shit,” you said, tearing your gaze away, even though you knew the boy had caught you red handed. Well, he was staring too.

That scene repeated almost every Thursday since then.

You’d be in the station, waiting with Rae and Paula for the train to arrive when you would hear a loud noise. But you wouldn’t get scared anymore, since you already knew where the noise was coming from - from the hard wheels of the boy’s skate colliding with the ground. You’d look at him and he would pass looking at his phone, sometimes with a small smile drawn on his lips, letting you know you had been caught red handed - again. Paula and Rae would tease you as you stepped into the train and would tease you even more when the boy took his usual seat a couple of seats away from yours, always facing you.

He would step off the train at the same stop you did, and then he would take the same bus you took. He only lived a couple of blocks away, but you had never seen him, and you never saw him apart from Thursday’s afternoons.


That Thursday afternoon you were exhausted. You had had a really tough day at the hospital. As an intern you simply had to draw blood or place IVs, but it wasn’t that easy, especially with the older ones.  Just before your turn ended that day, an old woman who had fallen from a chair had arrived to the emergency floor, you were the only intern who was available in that moment, so you told Rae and Paula to go home and not wait for you. When you were going to place the IV into the woman’s arm, she started moving and tossing around, telling you that she didn’t want an intern to place her IV. As she was moving, the needle poked her arm and blood started coming out like crazy. The woman started crying, you started crying, the nurse started shouting… It was a complete chaos. Finally, she placed the woman’s IV and sent you home with a scolding face.

More than being disappointed… You were scared. Scared that maybe being a nurse wasn’t your thing. But you had drawn blood before, and you had placed more than five IVs, why did an accident have to determinate how good or bad as a nurse you were?

You were so stuck into your own world, you even forgot what day it was. So when you heard the loud sound of the train entering the station mixed with the sound of hard wheels colliding with hard pavement, you didn’t even flinch.

Instead, you kept reading your book and walked closer to the train.

“Hey,” you heard a voice say from behind you, but you kept reading and waiting for the doors to open.

“My parents danced together, her head on his chest. Both had their eyes closed. They seemed so perfectly content. If you can find someone like that, someone who you can hold and close your eyes to the world with, then you’re lucky. Even if it only lasts for a minute or a day. The image of them gently swaying to the music is how I picture love in my mind even after all these years.”  You smiled whilere reading one of your favourite parts from The Name of The Wind by Patrick Rothfuss.

“Hey, sorry,” the voice said again, this time closer to you, so you lifted your gaze up from the book and found a couple of dark, doe eyes. “I think you dropped this.”

You gasped before you could do anything.

There you had it, the skater boy close to you, looking at you, speaking to you, waiting for you to answer him. You snapped when the boy started laughing while he shook something in front of your face.

“This, I think it’s yours,” he said, the bunny-like smile never leaving his face.

You blushed, realizing that once again you were staring at him, your feet glued to the floor and your mouth hanging open. You cleared your throat before quickly composing yourself and looking at the small object the boy was shaking.

“Oh,” you said, softly picking the item from his hands, careful not to touch him if you didn’t want to die there and then. It was your bookmark. “Oh, yes, thanks.”

You smiled at him, not even daring to look him after what had happened. You stepped into the train, taking your usual seat by the window, not wanting to look back and find the boy laughing at you. How could you be so stupid. You had stared at him like you were some silly teenager staring at her crush.

You faced palmed yourself thinking that the boy would sit on his usual seat instead of sitting right in front of you. If you thought your cheeks couldn’t get any redder or hotter, you were wrong.

Mortified, you looked at the boy as he looked back at you, his smile still drawn in his lips.

“So you like The Name of The Wind?” he asked.

Your head was spinning , your brain screaming, and you… You just couldn’t believe what was happening. You turned your head to see if he was talking to somebody else, but when the train started again you saw nobody was behind you because behind you was the end of the wagon. Great, Y/N, just fucking great. You’re embarrassing yourself in front of the boy you have been crushing on for the past two months.

“Sorry I… I just…” you stuttered, looking even more ridiculous as your eyes landed on the boy’s again. You had always been a shy and quiet girl around people you didn’t know, and even more around boys. An even more around boys you liked! Can you even like a stranger? “I like The Name of The Wind, yes.”

You decided that taking a deep breath and trying to calm yourself down would be the best option. The soft smile the boy dedicated you afterward was so sweet you felt a little bit more relaxed around him.

“You have a good taste then,” he said. His voice was as soft as his smile. As soft as the curve of his nose. As soft as his dark, doe eyes.

“Thanks, I guess…” you murmured. You bite your lower lip, trying not to say something that would embarrass yourself even more. Maybe the boy was just being polite towards you and didn’t want to start a conversation.

“Have you read the second one?” he asked, surprising you.

“Er… Yeah, I’m just rereading it because I feel like I forget important things about it,” you said, still a bit surprised that the boy still wanted to talk to you.

Maybe he was just bored because his phone had run out of charge and he couldn’t listen to music so he was talking to you instead. Maybe he was just playing with you because he knew how you looked at him. Maybe he was pranking you. Maybe Rae and Paula have paid him so he would finally speak to me. Maybe you’re just being paranoid Y/N.

“Oh, now that you say it, I have forgotten a lot of things about it too. I should reread it too,” he simply said. He didn’t seem like one of those boys to play with girls… But then again, he was just a stranger to you.

“So you have read it too?” you asked.

“Yeah, and the second one too. I’m just waiting for the author to finish the third one,” he shrugged and set the skate between his legs.

“That’s why I am rereading it. I want to remember everything when the third one comes out,” you didn’t expect him to like that kind of books, but then again, he was just a stranger to you.

“Huf…” he said, accommodating himself on his seat, making your knees brush against each other. You readjusted yourself too so your knees wouldn’t touch, which he noticed. He smiled again. “He has been ‘writing’ it for six years now, I don’t think I’ll get to read it,” he said, making quotation marks with his fingers as he said “writing”.

You laughed a bit.“Maybe when he finally publish it we won’t be able to read it because books won’t exist anymore, because we’ll be in year 2060 and we’ll have microchips that will insert the words in our heads instead of books,” as soon as the words left your lips, you face palmed yourself again. This time mentally, of course. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, it wa-”

“Oh my God!” he interrupted you, making you blush when he started laughing. “I’m so happy I’m not the only one that thinks like that!”

“What?” you asked, frowning. Were you hearing alright? Were you dreaming? He had to be a weirdo, because had he been a normal boy, he would have already run away. Even if the train was still in motion.

“I thought I was the only one who thought that in less than fifty years there won’t be any trees left and we will have to use microchips instead of books,” he simply said, as if it wasn’t weird at all.

“You’re pulling my leg, right?” you breathed, making the boy go serious.

“No, why? Are you?” he asked.

“No, not at all,” you blinked a few times, hoping you hadn’t offended him. “I have a lot of weird theories about the future.”

“Cool, because I have a lot of weird theories about the future too,” the boy smiled again and you relaxed.

Suddenly, neither of you knew what to say and you stared at the window, not knowing if the conversation had came to its end or not. You didn’t even have time to open your mouth again.

“I’m Jungkook, by the way,” he said, quickly offering you his hand.

Not knowing what else to do, you awkwardly shook his hand. “Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you Y/N,” he smiled. “I see you every Thursday here.”

And that’s how your friendship with Jungkook started, over a fallen bookmark and The Name of The Wind. Just as fast as a train enters into its station.


“He did what?!” Paula exclaimed, clapping her hands while laughing. You looked at Rae, she hadn’t said anything because her mouth was hanging open.

Blushing, you softly pushed Rae’s chin so her mouth wouldn’t be open anymore.

“Calm your tits, he just gave me my bookmark,” you said, hoping he wouldn’t be in that same wagon. But it was Friday, and you never saw him unless it was Thursday.

“Yes! He gave you your bookmark and after you embarrassed yourself in front of him, he still sat in front of you and spoke to you for the rest of the way home,” Paula said, still shocked about what you had told them.

“The skater boy talked to you?!” Rae said, leaving her trance behind.

“I’m shocked too, okay?” you said, shaking your head and caressing the hard cover of the book you were holding in your hands: The Name of The Wind.

“I can’t believe you, he’s so hot,” Paula exclaimed, making you shush her. If they kept speaking in that loud tone, even Jungkook would hear your conversation - and he wasn’t even in that train.

“What? I know I’m not the most beautiful girl in the planet, but…” you began to say, a bit offended by your friends words.

Of course you knew how the World span, how it worked. Boys like him didn’t like girls like you. You didn’t stand out in the middle of a crowd, while he stood out everywhere he went. You were in the ordinary side, while he was in the extraordinary. You were one more straw in the middle of the hay loft, while Jungkook was the needle. So hard to find, but once you did, you could only see him in between thousands straws.

“No, that’s not what we’re saying, don’t be stupid,” Rae said as she nudged Paula on her side. “It just seems taken out of a fanfic or some romantic as fuck novel.”

“I wished a boy as hot as…” Paula said, trying to remember the boy’s name.

“Jungkook,” you smiled, liking how easily his name rolled out off your tongue.

“Well, I wished a boy as hot as Jungkook would talk to me,” she said.

They started to talk about how lucky you were and how hot Jungkook was, with his skate and his long bangs nearly covering his eyes and giving him a mysterious look.  How could your stomach churn every time they mentioned him? You had only spoken to him once, why where you willing to speak with him a second time?

“Stop girls, don’t get my hopes high,” you said as your stop finally came. “I have only spoken with him once, and we didn’t even exchange our phone numbers. Maybe he was just being polite with me and really thought I was crazy.”

She told you that you were being negative and that getting your hopes high wasn’t a bad thing at all. You doubted that last part as you stepped out of the train on your own. Of course getting your hopes high was a bad thing. You had heard before that hope is one of the most dangerous weapons the human being possesses, it can destroy cities, countries, it can destroy people.


When the next Thursday came you felt anxious waiting for the train. Paula and Rae were chatting animatedly, as always. You’d usually join them, but that day you were so nervous that  you couldn’t do anything but look towards the stairs from where you knew the loud noise of hard wheels making contact with the ground would come.

You felt a bit stupid as the train entered into the station and the skater boy was nowhere to be seen. You had even applied mascara that day in case you saw Jungkook and he spoke to you again. You had put on your favourite boyfriend jeans and your baby blue shirt. You had even painted your lips in a burgundy colour! You didn’t look like you were trying to impress anyone, but you looked more feminine than you usually did an you felt dumb for trying to look pretty for a boy you didn’t even know.

“Stop looking at the stairs,” Rae whispered. “He’ll appear, he has a pending conversation with you.”

You shook your head as you walked towards the wagon’s door, tearing your gaze away from the stairs.

“He doesn’t have any pending conversation with anyone,” you huffed, stepping into the train followed by your friends. What if he was avoiding you because he really thought you were weird?

“Oh, c'mon Y/N,” Paula protested, sitting in your usual seats. “The boy spoke to you, he approached to you. There are two options. One: he really likes you and just wants to get to know you; or two: the boy liked you but you scared him with your stupid conversation about conspiracy theories.”

“Hey!” you whined, cheering up a bit. “My conspiracy theories are actually interesting to hear, but you never listen when I tell you about them.”

Just then the doors started closing and your heart speed increased as you heard the familiar sound. When you turned your head you saw a boy running towards the wagon’s doors and stepping inside at the last minute.

He caught his breath and pushed softly his dark bangs aside.

When he lifted his gaze, his eyes found yours and you immediately blushed, but instead of just looking towards you and then going to his usual seat as he always did, he smiled towards you and started approaching you.

“Tell me you are seeing it too, Paula,” Rae whispered.

“Yep, I’m seeing it,” Paula said too, both of them observing every single movement the boy made.

You didn’t know who was more breathless; Jungkook, from running towards the train, or you, because that same boy was now seating just next to you and his dark, warm eyes were burning into yours.

“Hi,” he timidly said, smiling at you. His bunny-like smile made him appear so innocent, almost like a little kid.

“Hey,” you said, almost sounding bored. Oh, you wanted to face palm yourself again. “I thought you weren’t going to make it,” you joked, trying to change the awkward atmosphere a bit, just making it even more uncomfortable as you heard Paula and Rae’s sighs.

I’m not good with boys, okay?! was what you were whiling to shout.

“Yeah?” he laughed, as he laughed every time you said something a bit dumb. “I thought so too.”

You smiled and then looked at your friends, who were looking at the boy with curious eyes.

“I’m Jungkook,” he said, introducing himself and leaving the three of you speechless.

Your friends said hi to him and introduced themselves too. The rest of the route was spent talking with Rae, Paula and Jungkook. About university, about anything and everything at the same time. But finally, yours and Jungkook’s stop came. You waved goodbye to your friends and prayed so Jungkook hadn’t seen your friends winking towards you and wiggling her brows.

“Oh, I forgot,” he said, opening his backpack and took something out of it. “I started reading it too.”

He handed you a damaged-looking copy of The Name of The Wind. Its cover was hard, just like yours, but it was filled with small scratches and cuts. You thought about his beautiful hands caressing the cover, his curious eyes wandering around the book’s pages, soaking every little word in.

“It seems like you take good care of it,” you joked, glancing through the different pages and seeing that there were some small drawings and notes in some of them. “You mark your favourite parts?”

“Yes, I try to mark the most important parts so, whenever I feel like I forget something important, I can easily find it,” he said as he observed your hands delicately caressing the pages.

“I wish I was like that too, but I’m too lazy to always carry a pen with me every time I read something,” you gave him back his book. “I’m glad I made you reread it again.”

He just drew a small smile on his lips as he put the book into his backpack again. He didn’t even need to show you his white teeth or his bunny smile, all he needed to do was look at you with those black eyes.

If someone asked you what was the thing that had attracted your attention the most about Jeon Jungkook, your answer would always be the same: his eyes, adding later how much life they held and how he could speak through them.


Jungkook and his bright personality slipped through your bones and into your soul as fast as the cold slipped through the warm days and cool nights, leading to freezing days and even colder nights.

At first it was just his “mysterious boy” look, then it was his eyes, his personality, his strange laugh, the small crinkles that appeared next to his eyes every time he laughed so hard he had to grab his stomach so it wouldn’t hurt anymore. His bunny smile, the small mole he had under his lower lip, his beautiful hands and how they got red from the cold wind. The small puffs of white air that slipped through his lips every time he spoke as you waited for the train to arrive.

It was everything, from the way he appeared on his skate into the station, to the way he cracked up every time he scared you, making you jump when he suddenly appeared next to you.

From the way he made you laugh with every single dumb thing he said or did, to the silly way in which he waved towards you each time you said goodbye to each other every single Thursday.

Paula and Rae told you that they had to stay a bit longer at the hospital, but you knew they just waited until you were gone so they could take the train after yours and you could be alone with Jungkook. The next day, they would bombard you with questions.

He became your best friend, someone you could trust and tell everything. He knew when something was wrong just by looking at you and he wouldn’t stop asking until you told him what was wrong, whether it was something about university, about the hospital or about your family. You could tell him about it, and in return you’d get that beautiful bunny smile and the best funny story you had ever heard. He always knew how to cheer you up. He trusted you too, in fact, he trusted you like he had never trusted nobody.

Just his way of showing you was different from yours.

He didn’t speak too much about him, you just knew the basics. He had an older brother and lived with his parents. Every single Thursday he met with his group of friends at the basketball court that was in the sports centre near the hospital. He loved reading good books, drinking crappy coffee, listening to good sad music and he loved his skate.

You loved when you spent your route laughing and talking about stupid things, making everyone around you look at you, that young couple in the back that were always making noise and being loud.

You loved when you spent all your route speaking, opening yourselves towards each other. Speaking about life and more important things like time, dreams, imagination, happiness, about the future and what you hoped of it… Even thought Jungkook always said that he lived in the present, and he never thought about the future, you could see the spark of young dreams every time you spoke about that topic.

But the routes you loved the most where the ones where you and Jungkook would just sit next to each other in silence, your eyes, mind and soul immerse in some book one of you had recommended the other. The one who had recommended it; rereading it, while the other read it for the first time. You would read it, taking notes in the pages you had loved the most and the next Thursday you’d share them with each other, explaining the meaning you had found behind the author’s words.

Suddenly, Autumn was long gone, and Christmas lights were hung all over the city. You could hear Christmas carols everywhere and see Christmas trees decorating the cold Seoul’s streets. Suddenly snow started falling replacing the forgotten orange, Autumn leaves.
Suddenly Winter came and the holidays came with it. You were having Christmas dinner with your family and going to Rae’s party on New Year’s Eve. Suddenly you found yourself wishing a happy New Year through text message to the boy that had occupied your mind and your every thought since you first saw him. Suddenly, Winter was gone too, and suddenly, you were in love with Jeon Jungkook.


“Bless you!” you said while laughing.

Jungkook had been sneezing since the moment he greeted you in the station that Spring Thursday. You had been laughing at him, founding cute how he sniffed after each sneeze and how his eyes seemed smaller.

“It’s not funny, okay?” he said, blowing his nose with a tissue.

It’s not funny, okay?” you mimicked him, with a loud, obnoxious tone. “You sounded like the little kid from that meme. You know, the boy who was-”

“I know what meme it is,” he interrupted you, blowing his nose again.

You couldn’t help but laugh again as you searched for the meme on your phone, just to show it to him and tease him a bit. He whined, but ignored you as he stepped into the train, that had already arrived to the station.

Before stepping into the train, you looked back and took a deep breath, loving how Spring smelled in Seoul. Sitting next to Jungkook, you took your denim jacket off.

“Oh, Spring is beautiful, don’t you think?” you asked, admiring the tall green trees from behind the train’s window.

“Yeah, Spring is beautiful when you aren’t allergic to everything it creates,” he said.

Just like the bright pink petals of the cherry trees, your love towards Jungkook had blossomed too, growing stronger and stronger as days went by. Without realising it, your love had surrounded you like the cherry blossoms, as beautiful and breathtaking as them. But you knew cherry blossoms only lasted for a couple of weeks before they fell down the cherry tree and it was left naked again, waiting for Spring to arrive again and hit it with its beauty.

You were dying to get it out of your chest and tell him as Rae and Paula had encouraged you to do since you told them what you felt for the doe-eyed boy. But you didn’t have the courage to do so. You tried searching for some answers in the boy’s eyes, hoping you’d find them like you always did when you looked into his eyes. Every time you searched for love in those black eyes, you only saw care, but never love.

Maybe you didn’t know what love looked like. Maybe you were hoping to see fireworks, flares, anything… Maybe it wasn’t in his eyes where you had to search for love.

“Y/N?” you heard him call your name. He was looking at you with a cocky smile in his face, just like every time he caught you immerse un your own world.

“Mhm, sorry I didn’t hear you,” you said, your cheeks reddening a bit.

“I know,” he laughed. “I was about to ask you something, but maybe you want to keep thinking about what you where thinking.”

“Yeah, because I was thinking about how stupid you are,” you mockingly said. “But I always have time to think about that, so ask me whatever you were going to ask me.”

Jungkook tried hiding his smile as he shook his head. “Well…” suddenly, he seemed nervous. “My friends and I are going to some club this Saturday and… Er… They asked me if you wanted to come.”

He didn’t look at you in the eye as he said so, but you didn’t care, because all you could think of in that moment was that he was - somehow - asking you to go out with him. You had only met at the train and you spoke through texts, but you had never met away from that train station.

“If you don’t want to come or you have made plans already…” he began to say, seeing that you hadn’t said a word.

“No,” you said, snapping from your trance. Jungkook looked at you frowning and you smiled. “No as in ‘no, I don’t have made any plans for Saturday night.”

Jungkook relaxed a bit and his playful smirk returned to his beautiful face. “Not that you have many plans every Saturday night anyway.”

“Oh, shut up Jeon,” you whined, hitting him hard in the arm.


“I don’t know what to wear!” you almost cried as Rae and Paula finished their make-up.

You didn’t go partying that often, that’s why your closet was full of trousers and oversized jumpers, but not a single dress could be seen in it.

“Just wear a dress and some high heels,” Paula whispered, not paying you much attention.

“Thank you for being such a good listener Paula,” you said in a harsh tone. “I have said that I don’t have any dresses or high heels nearly fifty times!”

“Woah, relax, you are going to age faster if you don’t calm down,” she said, still concentrated on her winged eyeliner.

“Paula, shut up. She’s nervous because she’s going out for the first time with the boy she likes,” Rae said, approaching you. “Well, the boy she is in love with.”

You only sighed and sat on the edge of your bed. “If I would have known this I wouldn’t have asked Jungkook if you two could come.”

“Hey, listen,” Paula said, finishing her eyeliner. “You’re going to look beautiful tonight and Jungkook will see what he’s missing.”

“You’re speaking as if he had rejected me,” you laughed a bit. “He’s not missing anything because he doesn’t feel the same.”

“You won’t never know it if you don’t tell him about your feelings,” Rae encouraged you. You just stood up from the bed and searched for something to wear in your closet. You had had that same conversation with your friends before.

“I won’t tell him about my feelings, okay? And you won’t either,” you said, throwing a simple black skater skirt into the bed. “The last thing I want to lose is his friendship.”

“He told his friends about you, Y/N!” Paula said. “Wake up, that’s a signal. He likes you.”

You rolled your eyes. You paired the black skirt with a white blouse. “He told his friends about me because we are friends. And shut up, you’re always getting my hopes high for nothing.”

You started dressing yourself quickly, putting a black lace bralette and black matching panties. You didn’t have much time since you would meet with Jungkook and his friends at the club at ten and it was already nine.

“You always say that, but when you first said it Jungkook appeared in the train out of nowhere and sat beside you,” Paula said, putting on her red stilettos.

“And the last time you said it, he asked you for your number, so don’t be pessimistic and just enjoy the night,” Rae said.

You sighed, knowing they were right. Even if Jungkook didn’t feel the same towards you, you could still have a fun night out with your best friends and the boy you liked.

The club was packed when you arrived. Fashionably late, of course. Jungkook had texted you, letting you know that they were upstairs getting some drinks.

The music was too loud to hear anything that your friends said as you climbed up the stairs. When you finally arrived to the bar in which Jungkook had told you that he was waiting for you with his friends, you saw a group of boys. They were at least seven, each one of them more handsome than the other. Despite the dim lights and the dark atmosphere, your recognised him immediately.

You approached, taking short, shy steps. Jungkook was with his back facing towards you, so he didn’t see you approaching them until one of the other boys nudged his back. Jungkook’s eyes made contact with you, shining under the multi coloured lights.

His smile was drawn on his lips as soon as he saw you, pushing some of his friends so he could greet you and start introducing you to his friends. They were six other boys and Jungkook was the youngest of them all. They greeted you with wide smiles and soft nods of their heads.

“She’s even more beautiful than you told us, Jungkookie,” the eldest boy named Jin teased.

You blushed, but blushed even more when you saw how flustered Jungkook was. You didn’t knew if it was because Jin had just called him Jungkookie in front of you or if it was because Jin had admitted that he had told them you were beautiful. You just smiled as Jungkook punched Jin in the arm.

To break the awkward moment, you introduced your friends to the boys, Rae immediately setting her sights on a quiet boy named Yoongi.

“I nearly didn’t recognise you,” you told Jungkook, leaning over Jungkook so he could hear you.

He turned his head to face you, making you gasp at the proximity of your faces. He was smirking as he looked into your eyes, probably knowing the effect he had on you. “Yeah? Why?” he said in a playful tone. Even though he was always comfortable around you and he had never been shy towards you, you saw a different side of him that night. He was more cocky, more playful with you. You just blamed the alcohol.

“I’m so used to seeing you in those oversized hoodies and sweatpants that I thought this guy in a white shirt and black trousers wasn’t the Jeon Jungkook I know,” you said, feeling a bit uncomfortable under his intense gaze.

“And what Jeon Jungkook you like the most?” he asked, making you blush once again.

“The one in oversized hoodies and sweatpants, to be honest,” you said, and when you saw his eyes widening you explained yourself. “Not that you don’t look… Interesting in that shirt and those tight trousers.”

“Interesting, hum?” he hummed, taking a sip from his glass, filled with a dark liquid you supposed was alcohol. “You are really interesting too in that skirt,” he said, and as soon as the words left his lips, his eyes widened again and he took a sip from his glass once more, this time longer. You blushed and cleared your throat.

“Hum… I’m going to grab a drink,” you said.

“Okay, I’ll go with you,” he followed you towards the counter where the barmen where serving the drinks.

You weren’t inside of your comfort zone: the train and at first it was a bit difficult for you both to start a conversation. But as always, you ended up talking and laughing about everything and anything at the same time.

The boys joined you and all of you ended up taking shots of tequila and screaming so loud you couldn’t even hear the music anymore. There was a boy that shouted over the rest, Taehyung. He wasn’t drunk, he was completely wasted, inviting everyone to do shots and trying to flirt even with Jimin, who always answered him with “No, Tae, you know my girlfriend and she would kill you.”

As the night carried on, you were left alone with Jungkook once again. Namjoon disappeared with Jimin because they were really tired. Jin was with Hoseok trying to tell random girls bad jokes and make them laugh. Yoongi and Rae where nowhere to be seen, and Tae and Paula were wasted, dancing on the dance floor.

“Wanna go to the dance floor?” Jungkook said, slowly since he had to think twice what he was going to say.

“Sure,” you said, leaving your empty glass on the bar. “But we won’t be dancing with Paula and Tae, right? I don’t want to be kicked out.”

Jungkook laughed, but you didn’t hear the beautiful sound of it since the music was blasting through the speakers. There were so many people, the place was so packed, that you thought you would lose Jungkook in the crowd. He was following you, so you stopped a bit to look at him and see if he was still behind you. He knocked the air out of your lungs when his hand grabbed yours and he lead you towards the dance floor.

It wasn’t the first time he had grabbed your hand, but it was the first time he intertwined his fingers with you, the first time you could completely feel his skin against yours.

When you were in the middle of the dance floor, Jungkook stopped and let go of your hand. He turned so you were facing each other. You were awkwardly looking at each other, both with silly smiles on your faces. You smiled widely when you thought about what someone would think if they looked at you both in that moment. They’d probably see a boy and a girl whose life had just started, young and beautiful, falling in love under the lights of the pub. Oh, they’d be so wrong.

“What?!” he shouted so you could hear his voice above the music.

You smiled. “Nothing,” you looked at your feet. Jungkook was lazily moving them to the rhythm.

“Tell me,” he pushed you, taking a step towards you, so close to you that your chest were touching. You were nearly trembling when you lifted your head and found his eyes, burning into yours with so much force you thought your heart would burst into flames.

“Tell you what?” you teased.

“Tell me why you were looking at me with that smile on your face,” he leaned his face mere inches from yours. He lowered his head a bit so his eyes were right in front of yours. You bit your lower lip.

Your body started moving along the music. It was as loud as it had been for the rest of the night, but it had faded into the background as Jungkook smiled and started dancing too. At first it was just the two of you dancing and joking around, laughing and touching every once in a while, but with every passing song, your bodies started getting closer. And suddenly Jungkook’s hands where on your waist and your hands were seductively playing with your hair.  

You saw him biting his lower lip as he looked down at you, dancing for him, just for his eyes. You had never felt so sure of yourself or so sexy as you did then, in that moment, under the burning gaze of the boy you loved. Maybe he wasn’t in love with you, maybe he didn’t even like you as something more than a simple friend, but in that moment he wanted you and you could see it in his burning gaze.

The desire you felt, the desire in Jungkook’s eyes and the tequila shoots you had behind, made you feel confident and you moved closer to Jungkook until you could feel his stomach against yours. You could barely hear anything that wasn’t your erratic breaths or your heart beat, but you swore you heard a low grunt escaping from Jungkook’s lips.

His hands were holding you in place, so your bodies would move at the same pace. Your arms circled his neck until your fingers were playing with his hair.

“What are we doing?” was all that Jungkook could whisper into your ear as you danced against him.

“We’re dancing,” you said, as innocently as you could.

You’d be lying if someone asked you if you desired Jungkook or not and you answered no. Of course you yearned for him, for his body, for his hands, for his eyes, for his voice, his soul, heart and everything he could offer to you. And even though you knew none of that things belonged to you, in that moment you wanted to believe that yes, Jeon Jungkook was yours and only yours.

As the temperature escalated, Jungkook pressed you more and more against his body, so much you could already feel the growing bulge in his pants. You bit your lip. Were you really getting Jungkook horny?

You got your answer when he moved his hands a bit lower and, with a bit of force, spun you so his chest was pressed against your back. His arms circled your waist and his hands landed on the waistband of your skirt. You couldn’t believe what was going on as Jungkook’s lips started grazing the skin of your neck. In that moment you were biting your lip with so much force, you thought it would start bleeding. You were feeling on cloud nine, closing your eyes and letting Jungkook’s body lead yours. You intertwined your hands with Jungkook’s, the touch so intimate you almost believed that what was happening was real.

Of course you knew it wasn’t real. It was a product of two young people, wild hormones and alcohol, mixed with the loud music and the atmosphere that surrounded you both.

“Jungkook,” his name escaped from your lips in a strangled moan when the boy sunk his teeth in your neck, licking the spot afterwards.

He leaned into your ear and whispered something, but you didn’t understood it. You turned around to face him and ask him what he had said.

“Kiss me,” he breathed, loud enough for you to hear.

He didn’t even give you time as he leaned in and his lips touched yours, softly at first, roughly and passionately as a couple of seconds passed. You followed his lips, still shocked about what was going on. You closed your eyes and focused every sense of your on Jungkook and his lips. They felt softer than a marshmallow, the bottom lip being a little more plump that the upper one. He tasted like tequila and fireworks - fireworks that were exploding at the same time in the pitch of your stomach.

The kiss escalated quickly and soon, Jungkook’s tongue traced your bottom lip, making you open your mouth a bit so his tongue could play with yours. Meanwhile, his hands kept you pressed against him as he grabbed you by the waist.

You swore two, three… Maybe seven songs passed and you were still kissing, pouring yourselves into the kiss, without any care about what was going on around you.

When you felt breathless for the hundredth time, you pulled away as Jungkook’s teeth bite your bottom lip. You opened your eyes to fin Jungkook’s eyes already on you. His lips were plum and red, and his eyes wilder than you had ever seen him. Oh God, he was so beautiful and so young, and you were so in love with him.

“I live ten minutes away from here,” is all you could say in that moment. “Just a few blocks away.”

Jungkook looked intensely into your eyes. “Are you sure you want this?”

You bit your lip while looking at him. He sure wanted that, you could see and feel it. But… Did you want it? Of course you wanted it, but you didn’t know if you’d feel the same the next morning. You already were too head over heels in love with Jungkook, but maybe if you took that next step there would be no turning back. All of your thoughts were summarized in one soft nod of your head.

That was all Jungkook needed to grab your hand and drag you out of the club. As soon as you were outside, he kissed you fiercely again.

You nearly ran towards you house, the ten minutes walk being the longest in your life. As soon as the door of you small shared apartment was open, Jungkook nearly pushed you inside, his mouth being all over yours once again. Your roommate was visiting her parents that weekend, so you were lucky you had the house all to yourself.

You laughed when Jungkook led you towards the wrong room, nearly tripping when you told him it was your roommate’s room.

In between kisses, bites, moans, laughs and silly jokes you finally finished undressing one another. Jungkook climbed over you, your back pressed against your soft white sheets. You looked at him, looking like a prince to you, hovering above you under the moonlight that slipped through the window. His obsidian hair falling into his eyes, casting shadows all over his face, making his lips look plumper, his eyes darker and his jawline sharper.

Jungkook was art, a piece of the finest carved marble. There was no flaw in his body or his face. You could look at him all day and you would still not get tired of it. You could have spent hours observing every little mole that adorned his body like constellations adorn the sky. From the mole he had under his bottom lip, to the one he had on his neck, and ending in the round mole just next to his belly button.

Whispering sweet nothings into your ears, planting passionate kisses all over your body, leaving his mark in your neck, caressing every curve of your body with his fingertips as if he wanted to always remember it - as if he was afraid he would forget about the curve of your hips, your legs, your breasts, your collarbones, your cheekbones or your lips - he made love to you that night.

His way of pushing softly into you at first and roughly afterwards drove you crazy. He spoke with his body that night. With his face, his hands, his fingertips. With every touch, he told you a million things he couldn’t voice out - a million things he wouldn’t voice out. With every whisper, he let you know how much he was enjoying fucking you. With every moan he let you know how good you made him feel. With every push of his body into you, he let you know how much he had been fantasizing about your body pressed against him.

He knew that making love to you would be a turning point in your relationship, that he had not only let you see him naked, but he had let you see him completely naked. Body and soul. You were different, he felt it in the way he reacted towards you. Maybe you’d be the only constant in his life. Maybe you’d be the one that stays in his mind forever.


You woke up to the sun high up in the sky, hitting your naked skin. You woke up to the sound of soft snores beside you.

You blinked a couple of times, lazily batting your eyelashes so your eyes could adjust to the light that filled your room that Spring morning. Turning around you found Jungkook, asleep by your side, his arm hanging lazily over your waist.

He was sweating, hair sticking to his forehead. With a soft smile drawn on your lips and careful not to wake him up, you moved away the dark strands of hair. But you failed in your attempt of not waking him up as he stirred and growled.

Your hand travelled then to his forehead, the side of his nose, until you finally placed it over his cheek.

Sudden anxiety took over you as Jungkook started opening his eyes, slowly at first and then all at once. What if he regretted last night? What if he just wanted to be your friend? What if he was just drunk?

He looked at you when he finally opened his eyes, observing every inch of your face. Slowly, he traced his eyes over your lips, your chin, your nose and they finally landed in your eyes. You remained silent, your hand placed over his cheek, not knowing what to do.

Something in the boy that was lying in your bed, naked next to you, snapped as he frowned and quickly got away from you. Your hand fell lifelessly onto the bed, just as fast as your heart feel and shattered too.

“Who… What am I doing here?” he asked, with a raspy voice, standing up from your bed, blushing when he saw he was naked. “What the fuck?”

You blinked your tears away a couple of times before you felt too naked under Jungkook’s gaze and you covered your body with your sheets. You sat yourself up in bed. Without looking at you twice, Jungkook had started dressing himself.

“Look Jungkook… I… We…” you stuttered.

“Jungkook?” he sounded confused. He put on his shirt and brushed his hair with his fingers. “Why do you even know my name? I mean… I’m sure I’ve never seen you before.”

You saw it in his eyes. It was there. Emptiness. Nothing. You saw nothing in his eyes as he looked at you.

“What?” you blinked a couple of times, confused, angry, humiliated, heartbroken… All at once. “How dare you say that you have never seen me before?”

Jungkook picked up his phone and his wallet before stuffing them into the pockets of his jeans. He really looked confused.

“I… I don’t know how I ended up here but-” he said, sounding angry too. Why was he even angry. You had been the rejected one there. “But I’m sure it was fun and well… Thank you.”

“Thank you?!” you nearly shouted. “What the fuck Jungkook? You’re kidding me, right? You’re fucking thanking me as if I was a whore!”

The boy that was in front of you wasn’t Jungkook. He looked like Jungkook, but he definitely wasn’t him. Those empty eyes, looking at them just made you sick.

“I… I gotta go,” was what he said before looking at you one last time and grabbing the doorknob to open your bedroom door.

“Jungkook!” you screamed, wanting to go after him, but your body felt somehow stuck to the mattress of your bed.

Seconds later you felt the front door close and your tears run down your cheeks. You had hoped Jungkook would stay, you had hoped that maybe he would whisper a “good morning” to you and then make love to you again as he did the night before. You hoped you two would stay in your bed forever, letting the sunrays warm your skin. You hoped.


You were never someone that regretted what they had done. If you did something, then you’d take the consequences that came with it.

But you regretted sleeping with Jungkook.

You regretted it all, from the moment he stepped off of your apartment pretending he didn’t even knew you to the moment you texted him, saying that you could act as if nothing had happened, and the text was never delivered - meaning that he had blocked your number.

You tried reaching out to him, looking for him at the train station, even at the sports centre. He was nowhere to be seen. You missed the noise of his skate colliding with the floor, you missed the way he always went pass you as if he hadn’t seen you. You missed your conversations, his laugh, his eyes. You thought about look for him at his house, but you realised you barely knew anything about him, other than he loved reading, skating and making you laugh.

At first you were sad, you blamed yourself for what had happened. If you had been able to contain yourself, it would have only been two drunk friends kissing at a pub. Maybe Jungkook would still speak to you then. It didn’t feel the same stepping into the train on your own, looking at the cherry blossoms or simply stepping off the bus.

Your sadness turned into anger as Spring slowly turned into Summer. You started blaming Jungkook instead of yourself. If he hadn’t wanted to sleep with you, he could have stopped you. Or he simply could have contained himself and not have dragged you out of the club and towards your house. And he even pretended he didn’t know you and that he didn’t remember anything! What a fucking coward.

Anger turned into nothing as your final exams came and you needed all of your brain focused on one thing: studying. You buried yourself in books and notes, the uni’s library becoming your second home. Reading and writing also helped you with the J thing. You had became so pathetic you couldn’t even say his entire name.

Internship at the hospital helped you with that too, but each time you had to take the train and go to the station, you panicked, thinking that maybe he would be there, with his skate or his book. With his oversized hoodie or his brown beanie. But he would never be there.

Final exams ended and you only had a week left at the hospital before summer holidays started.

“Where are you going?” Rae asked you, absentmindedly playing with his hair.

“Hm… I think I might visit my family,” you said. Since your family lived in another country and you had moved to Seoul with your parents when you were little, you barely saw them. You and your parents usually visited them every summer. “And you?”

That day you had finished practice at the hospital earlier, so the train station was almost empty, except for the three of you and some more people.

Your friends had been trying to distract you every time they accompanied you to the train station, since they didn’t want you to look around searching for Jungkook. You spoke about ordinary things, too ordinary and boring.

As the train came into the station, you lifted your eyes up from the floor. What you saw, almost made you fall to the ground.

Round, wide, black eyes were staring at you from a couple of metres away. He looked as surprised as you to see you there. A sudden wave of anger shook your body and you had to contain yourself not run towards him and slap him in the face with all the force you had.

You tore your gaze away from his as if his eyes burned you. But it was true, they burned you. Paula and Rae had seen him too, so they followed you into the train without saying a word.

The conversation about what you’d be doing that summer continued, your friends trying to distract you somehow, but your mind was somewhere else. You were sure you were red from anger. Not only did he dare to look at you with puppy eyes, as if he was the one hurting there, as if he hadn’t been avoiding you for two months. He dared to sit on his usual seat, just a couple of metres away from you, in the same wagon you were.

He was looking out of the window, with that impassible face, avoiding to look towards you. But you couldn’t avoid him, no when you suddenly remembered how his lips felt against yours, how his hands traced every curve of your body, how his eyes looked at you that night as if you were a piece of art. No when all you could think about was he sleeping next to you, pulling you closer to him.

“Y/N!” Paula said as you stood up from your seat, leaving your bag there. “Y/N, where are you going?” she whispered, already knowing where you were heading to.

You sat in front of Jungkook, making him look at you.

“Hey,” you said, putting on a fake smile. “Do you remember who I am or are you going to pretend that you don’t know me once again?”

For a brief moment, your swore you saw hurt in his eyes, even regret, but his impassible facade was still there. You were being cruel, but he had been cruel too for the past two months.

He huffed and readjusted himself in his seat. You frowned as you didn’t see his skate with him. He always carried his skate with him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

If it weren’t for the anger you had felt in that moment, that blinded you completely, maybe you would have seen the tired look in his eyes, covered behind the cold facade he was putting on. Maybe you’d have seen that he had lost weight, that he had bags under his eyes, that his hair was longer than usual and maybe you’d have found the reason why he hadn’t brought his skate with him. If you hadn’t been seeing red in that moment, you’d have seen him fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. You would have even found strange that he was wearing a hoodie in June.

“Woah, I didn’t expect such an elaborate answer from you,” you said, anger filling every single word.

He shrugged and just looked away from you, towards the window. The once cherry trees covered in pink cherry blossoms were naked then, just normal green leaves making it look like an ordinary tree.

“I don’t know, Y/N. What the fuck do you want me to say?” he spat, finally looking at you. “Do you want me to tell you the truth and hurt you, or do you want me to keep avoiding you and save you the heartbreak?”

Maybe if you hadn’t been that angry and selfish, you would have found the double meaning behind his words.

“Heartbreak?” you laughed sarcastically. “You? Saving me the heartbreak?” you looked at him, throwing daggers towards him with your eyes. “You can’t save the heartbreak to someone who is already heartbroken, so go ahead.”

He flinched and took a deep breath before speaking again. “What happened that night…” he made a pause for a brief moment. “We had fun, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” you repeated. “Oh, that’s all, yes,” you laughed sarcastically again. “That’s all you have to say to me after two months? That we had fun and that’s all?”

“Yes, what do you want me to say?” he said, raising his voice a bit. You both were trying to speak in a normal tone so the rest of the wagon wouldn’t hear your conversation. “You wanted the truth? That’s the truth. I slept with you, I can’t get anything else from you.”

Those were the last words you were expecting to hear. You thought your heart was already broken, that’s why you didn’t expect to feel such a pain in your chest as the boy you loved told you what you knew but you never wanted to see. You were nothing for him.

You opened your mouth, trying to say something, but you couldn’t. Don’t, Y/N. You breathed as you closed your eyes, and when you opened them again to found those black eyes looking directly at you, you gathered the courage to speak. “You just wanted to fuck me?”

Jungkook looked at you, as if wanting to tell you something else. But he didn’t. “I’m not the guy you thought I was.”

“You definitely aren’t,” you said, standing up from your seat.

“You shouldn’t have trusted me, you don’t know anything about me other than random insignificant things,” he said, looking away from you.

“You’re right…” you whispered, your eyes glued to your hands as you kept playing with your t-shirt. You gulped. You didn’t want it to end like that, but you didn’t want anything from him either, so you just walked away.

You took your seat next to Paula and Rae, who had been eyeing you the entire time. You told them you didn’t want to talk about it and when the train stopped in the next station, Jungkook gathered his things and stepped off the train without looking back again. You felt a pang of hurt in your chest and you had to swallow your own tears. You’d get over him.


Your summer holidays began, days were longer and nights shorter. Stars shone brighter than ever that warm summer.  But not for you, since you spent nearly every night thinking about him, your heart shattered into pieces all over the place.

You were supposed to be travelling with your parents to visit your family, but since being in Seoul reminded you of him, you flew home a month earlier than your parents.

Being with your grandparents, helping them around and playing with your little cousins helped you a bit. Until one day, one of your cousins - the one that had eighteen years old - told you he had started reading The Name of The Wind, and Jungkook came crashing into your mind again. When would it stop?

Everything started reminding you of him at home too, and forgetting him was starting to feel like an impossible mission. So instead of trying to forget him, you simply pushed the memory of him to the back of your head.

By the end of summer, Jungkook was something you had locked in a hidden place you didn’t even know it existed, or you just simply ignored it.

Starting uni again and seeing your friends again made you incredibly happy.

Just as a new season started, your routine did too. You couldn’t wait for cherry trees to blossom again, but you loved the colours of Seoul’s autumn too. After starting your internship at the hospital again, Seoul became your home once more. You were always doing something, always listening to music, reading or going out with your friends, filling those empty gaps that could give you time to think.

Those who didn’t really know you, would say that you had changed, that you had become a more mature and serious person. In a way, you did, you changed. But you were still the same. Still the same stupid, naive girl who fell in love with a boy she met at the train station on a Thursday evening. The same girl who fell in love over a fallen bookmark and an unfinished book saga. That same girl that got her heart broken and fixed piece by piece over time.


“… and after that, you have to visit Mr. Choi and check his glucose,” the nurse told you, writing something in a paper.

It was being a hectic day at the hospital. Two car accidents, one of them a bus filled with teenagers. As one of the intern nurses you were left out of the action and you just had to check the hospitalized patients.

Nodding, you gathered your things and did your tasks, chatting with the people that you already knew because they had been hospitalized before summer began.

As you were heading to Mr. Choi’s room you stayed paralysed in the middle of the corridor.

The laugh that escaped from the door right in front of you slipped into your bones, suddenly breaking the wall you had built in a remote part of yourself, hiding behind it the name of the boy your heart still yearned for. You felt like you were going to collapse on the floor right then and there.

Without even thinking, your hand grabbed the doorknob of the white door. The nurse would kill you for not following your schedule, but you had to know if he was there. You suddenly needed to see him, despite the hurtful words he directed towards you the last time you saw him. Your heart still ached at the sound, so pure and vibrant it made your heart beat faster.

You hoped you’d see him sitting on the visitor’s chairs, but what you saw left you completely breathless. It was funny because, every single time you saw him, he somehow made you feel breathless.

You recognised the person that was sitting on the visitor’s chair, but it wasn’t Jungkook. Jimin stared at you, wide eyes and open mouth, his laugh dying and evaporating in the air. Then, with jaw clenched and tear-filled eyes, you looked at the boy that was lying back in the hospital bed. Jungkook looked as breathless as you did, but for obvious different reasons.

In that moment, you saw what you hadn’t seen that Thursday’s afternoon, in the wagon of the train, just before summer began. You saw it all. You saw his tired eyes, his dark, dishevelled hair. His pale skin, the bags under his eyes that contrasted with the soft skin of his beautiful face. You saw he had lost weight, his wide shoulders seeming smaller and hunched.

You felt a wave of feelings of all kind hit your body, the force of the impact making hot tears roll down your cheeks.

“Y/N,” Jungkook breathed.

You frowned, your hand still over the doorknob. You didn’t know what to do, what to say or simply… What to feel. So you just stepped back and closed the door again as if you had never stepped into that room.

“Y/N!” you heard Jungkook calling out for you from the other side of the closed door.

As you dried your tears with the back of your hand, you started running down the corridor, ignoring everyone that was looking at you with confused eyes, and ignoring Jimin, who was running towards you, calling out your name.

Arriving to Mr. Choi’s room, you closed the door behind you and took a deep breath. You felt safe there, away from Jimin and Jungkook.

“What’s wrong, honey?” the old man asked you with a sweet voice. He was one of those people that had been hospitalized before summer started, so you already knew the man and you really cared about him.

You tried breathing normally again as you told him that nothing was wrong, just that you had a lot of things to do that morning and you couldn’t risk being late. You checked Mr. Choi’s glucose and chatted a bit with him. His wife would be visiting him soon, so you said goodbye to him and promised that you’d say goodbye again that afternoon before going home.

“Y/N,” a voice called out your name again as you stepped out of Mr. Choi’s room. Jimin had been waiting for you outside, his back resting against the opposite wall.

You ignored him as you kept walking along the corridor.

“Please, Y/N, wait,” he pleaded. You stopped so abruptly he almost bumped against your back. Your head was still spinning and you were mad at Jungkook, not Jimin, so you would at least hear what he wanted to tell you.

“What?” you said, turning around so you could face him.

You had only seen him one night, but you were sure that night he didn’t look half as tired and devastated as he did then, in the middle of that corridor.

“I… Hey,” he softly smiled. “How have you been?”

You frowned. “I’ve been doing fine,” was all you answered, narrowing your eyes towards Jimin. His hair was no longer a pink shade. You nearly smiled as you remembered how his pink hair had reminded you of the cherry blossoms the night you met him. You nearly smiled as you remembered how his, now chestnut hair, reminded you of the brown, dead leaves that fell from the trees in autumn.

“I’m happy to hear that,” he said. He was looking at your eyes, looking calm and relaxed, but he was nervous, you could see it in the way he was playing with his grey jumper. “Please, you need to speak with Jungkook.”

You sighed. You spoke with Jungkook four months ago, and he already told you everything you needed to hear. “Sorry, I have things to do. Bye, Jimin, it was nice seeing you.”

You turned around, but a hand kept you from walking away. That same hand forced you to turn around again, softly. “Please, you’re the only one that can make him change his mind.”

“What? Change his mind about what?” you frowned. You hadn’t even given yourself time to think about everything. About why was Jungkook at the hospital.

“Talk to him, please,” Jimin pleaded you a last time.

You looked into his eyes for some more before nodding with your head. You were just going to talk to him, then you’d follow the rest of your schedule.

“Thanks,” Jimin said, suddenly embracing you in a tight hug. “Talk to him, talk to Jungkook,” he broke the hug with what you thought were tears in his eyes. He disappeared from the corridor and you were left alone.

You started walking towards Jungkook’s room. You stayed there, in front of his door for almost five minutes, just thinking. What would you feel when you saw him from up close once again? Why Jimin wanted you to talk to him? What was he going to tell you? Why was he at the hospital? And… What ‘you’re then only one that can make him change his mind’ meant?

You knocked on the door before opening and finding Jungkook’s eyes again. You doubted for a moment, not daring to step into the room.

“Come in, please,” Jungkook said, his voice softer than you ever remembered it.

You nodded and closed the door behind your back. You kept your back pressed against the shiny material of the door. Your eyes examined Jungkook, and his eyes took their time to examine you too.

“Well, here I am,” you said, hoping he would tell you already what was going on. Why he suddenly wanted to talk to you.

“I…” he looked around him, his facial expression changed as his eyes landed on the different devices that were connected to his body. His eyes closed for a moment but when he opened them again, they found you immediately. “How are you?”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “I’m fine,” you said, in a monotone voice. You didn’t want to sound rude, but after all those months waiting for something to happen…

“Are you still an intern?” he asked.

“Yes,” you answered. He asked you a couple more questions about your life, you giving him the same answers: yes or no. “Jungkook, I’m  not here so you can ask me questions.”

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I just wanted to speak with you for a bit. To know how you have been doing.”

“Well, you told me that after fucking me you couldn’t get anything else from me, so I don’t get why you want to know about me all of a sudden,” you said as Jungkook flinched at your harsh words.

“Don’t say that, please,” he pleaded, closing his eyes again.

“I’m just telling you what you told me,” you shrugged, your eyes never leaving his.

“I didn’t mean it, I was just trying to distance you from me,” he sighed.

“Yes, you were trying to distance me from you because you had already gotten everything you wanted from me, right?” you said, sounding cruel, pouring everything that had been eating you up from the past months in your harsh words.

“Don’t say that!” Jungkook raised his voice. “I didn’t mean it!”

“And why did you say that, then?” you raised your voice too. “You knew I was in love with you. Why did you do that to me then, Jungkook?” you paused yourself so you could catch your breath. You waited for Jungkook to say something, but he just stayed there. “Why are you here?”

Jungkook’s eyes looked at the window instead of you. He had been delaying that moment, thas question, since you entered in the room. In that moment, you knew. But you waited for him to answer anyway.

“I’m…” he began to say, his eyes fixed in something else. Maybe the blue sky, so clear you couldn’t see a single cloud in it. Maybe the sun, shinning bright above you, its rays entering into the room. “I’m ill. I’ve always been ill but lately it has gotten worse.”

It all was a paradox, a cruel and beautiful paradox. The sun was shining, the weather was clearer than ever, but it all somehow stopped at the other side of the window that separated the small hospital room from the outside. Yes, the rays of sun entered into the room, but the energy and happiness that came with them didn’t. How can you feel energetic and happy when the boy you’re helplessly in love with tells you he’s ill? The world outside of that room carried on, but your world stopped in that moment, in that hospital room.

It was one of the most beautiful autumn days you had ever seen, and yet it became one of the saddest days of your life.

Of course you knew that Jungkook wasn’t okay since the moment you stepped into that room, but your silly and naive mind still hoped that he was there because he broke his leg skating or because he just had an appendicitis.

You were left breathless. He, somehow, always left you breathless.

“H… How ill?” you stupidly asked.

He swallowed harshly, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “I’m just ill, that’s all you need to know for now,” he looked at you again, his eyes finally leaving that outside world and stepping into your own world. When his eyes widened, you realised you were crying. He wasn’t just ill. “Don’t cry, please. Come over here Y/N.”

You shook your head no, but you still approached him until you were at the feet of his bed.

“You’ve always been ill?” you asked, sniffling as you tried to calm yourself. He nodded. “You knew this when we met?” you asked. He nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Jungkook flinched a bit when you raised your voice. “I just… I just saw how happy and bright you were and I didn’t want to change that.”

You frowned, you waved your hands all over the place as you spoke. “And do you think I was going to be bright and happy when I found out by myself?!”

He sighed. “Okay, no, I didn’t think about that…”

You shook your head again and then rested it in between your hands, trying to assimilate everything. “I just need to set it all in…” you sighed.

Suddenly, you felt a hand against your shoulder, hesitant. Your head snapped up, and you gasped when you saw how close Jungkook was from you. A device started beeping as it had detached from Jungkook’s body.

“No, no, no, lay down, please,” you urged him, gently grabbing his cold hand and placing it next to him, over the bed. You connected the device again to Jungkook’s body, avoiding eye contact with him.

“I don’t want you to cry,” he whispered, sounding out of breath for the mere effort he had done of sitting himself up.

“And I don’t want you to get even worse. I won’t cry, I swear, but don’t move, please,” your voice was softer than before. Even after you connected the device to Jungkook’s body, your hand was still caressing the skin of his collarbone. He noticed and tensed up a bit, which you misunderstood and took a step back, separating your skin from his. “Tell me everything, I want to know everything.”

“Everything?” he repeated, as if making sure you wanted that.

You nodded, remaining by his side, but not touching him.

“I have an odd brain disease. It’s like Alzheimer, but different at the same time. My neural connections die a hundred times faster than yours, or even than the neural connections of a person with Alzheimer,” he couldn’t look at you in the eye. “My brain forgot about everything every week. Every Thursday I was like a blank piece of paper… Until my parents found out about an experimental treatment that helped neural connections reestablish themselves for a limited time. It worked for me, so every Thursday I had to go to the hospital to take that treatment… It was like chemo, but worst. It made me want to throw up,  it made me forget about everything and then remember everything the next second, and the feeling was so strong it left me breathless and weak.”

“That’s why I saw you every single Thursday at the station,” you murmured. “You came from the hospital, not from the sports centre.”

He nodded. “I’ve been coming to this hospital to take my treatment since I was five. My parents and I moved to our neighbourhood so we could be relatively close to the hospital and so I could ‘have a normal live’” he smiled. You saw the sadness in his smile. The raw emotions of a boy that had been deprived of his childhood. You imagined a little Jungkook, sat in a room like this on his own, everything too white and boring for the happy and energetic boy with the bunny smile. “I come here every Thursday to remember what happened that week, and the week before. I come here so my brain can act like the brain of a normal person would, at least for one week more.”

“I’ve never heard about this,” you frowned, trying to settle all the information.

“That’s because just a handful of doctors and nurses know about it. It still is an experimental treatment after all,” he smiled again, and you hated him for it. Why was he trying to comfort you while he was the one who needed comfort? “I’ve known the perks and the risks of this all my life… Or at least I thought I knew all of them until last year. My body doesn’t react to the treatment as it did anymore. Each time, the doctors increased the dose, I felt worst and it worked less.”

You absentmindedly approached your hands towards his. You intertwined your fingers, letting your warm skin heat up his cold one.

“And then I entered one Thursday into the station, it was an ordinary Thursday, just like the rest. But that Thursday I found a bookmark lying on the floor and it turns out that it belonged to the girl that always got scared each time I threw my skate onto the floor. And you know what? Each Thursday, I threw it even harder to the floor so that girl would look at me and then she’d get all flustered when I would caught her looking at me,” he said, his voice soft as he told you the story.

You sniffled again. “Let me guess… That girl was wearing a grey jumper and black jeans?”

“Woah, I don’t know, I forget things, remember?” he said before laughing loudly at his bad joke, you smiled softly, wondering how he could still smile when he was going through one of the darkest moments of his life.

“You shouldn’t joke about this,” you sounded serious, and you were.

“Sorry, I just… I accepted what I have a long time ago. I sometimes forget that people around me can be hurt by my jokes about it. Sorry,” he looked at you in the eyes and wondered how your eyes could still bright up his world, even if they were covered in tears, red and puffy.

Your eyes. Your eyes were what caught his attention first, they way he could read you like an open book through them. Even in the beginning of your relationship, he could see your soul through them, so pure and so untouched, that he immediately was bewitched by it.

Since you didn’t seem to have any intentions of speaking, he continued with it.

“At first you were that girl I spoke with in the train, that girl that somehow made me enjoy Thursdays a bit. And by winter, you were the girl that made me wish that it’d be Thursday as soon as possible every single week,” he smiled and looked at your intertwined fingers. “I would always replay your face and our conversations in my mind so I wouldn’t forget about you, I would even write it all down in a piece of paper, but at the end of the week, you’d be a mere few paragraphs written in my notebook. Like the rest of my life,” he swallowed, his eyes never leaving your fingers. A shiver run down your spine when his fingers started caressing yours.

“You… You knew how I felt towards you?” you asked.

He took a deep breath. “I could see it in your eyes every single Thursday.”

“So, that night…” you began to say, referring to that awful night. If you could go back in time…

Ignoring your previous words, Jungkook sat himself up in the bed.

“Jungkook, I told yo-” you scolded him, trying to move away your hands from his. He didn’t let you. He had let you go once, he wouldn´t make the same mistake twice.

“That night,” he interrupted you. “That night I felt everything I did-”

“You were drunk, I was drunk… You told me it had been fun but nothing else, at least for you,” you whispered, your face inches from his.

“I wasn’t drunk, I cannot drink while I’m taking the treatment. And you say you’re a nurse?” he smiled. It was one of his sweet smiles.

“But… But I saw you take the tequila shots a… And you were drinking and you… You looked like you were drunk,” you babbled, trying to remember that night.

“I was drinking coke, yeah. And I didn’t take the shots, but you were so occupied taking yours that you didn’t even notice,” he said. You looked so cute, looking at your intertwined fingers, your cheeks a beautiful shade that reminded him of the cherry blossoms you loved so much.

“So… Everything that happened…” you mumbled again, unable to look at him in the eye.

“Everything that happened was because I wanted it to happen and I wanted it to happen with you,” he said, putting his finger under your chin and making you look at him. He smiled, at the sight of your beautiful eyes covered in tears once more. “I wanted to make love to you and so I did, and it was one of the most beautiful nights of my life, and I don’t regret any part of it.”

“And why did you tell me that all you wanted to do was to fuck me?” you narrowed your eyes.

“Because the next morning when I woke up next to you and I didn’t recognise you, I panicked. When I got home and I read about you in my notebook I understood that I had to distance myself from you if I didn’t want to hurt you,” he winced, as if there mere fact of remember taking that decision hurt him. In fact, it did.

“Well, you did. What you told me in the train… It just made me feel like I was useless,” you said, making Jungkook wince again.

“I know, and I won’t ever have enough words to tell you how sorry I am about that, but I achieved what I wanted. You distanced yourself from me, because I wasn’t strong enough to distance myself from you,” he gulped, looking at you in the eye, hoping that maybe someday you would be able to forgive him. Even if he was no longer by your side. “I love you, Y/N. I love you every single day of the week, but as it comes to an end, it’s more and more difficult for me to remember who I am in love with. Even though I love you with all my heart, my mind keeps forgetting about you.”

As you closed your eyes, tears rolled down your cheeks, ending in Jungkook’s fingers, which were softly caressing your skin.

“I love you too,” you said. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t feel the same, that when you runned away from me the morning after sleeping together I thought I had fucked up everything.”

“How could I not feel the same when you love The Name of The Wind and Iron Man?” he joked, trying to make you laugh. And you did, you laughed a bit because he was like that, he could make you smile in the saddest moment of your life. He could appear in your life like the bright light of a lighthouse could appear in the middle of the sea to brighten up the sailor’s path. He could appear into your life, like s train stepped into the station, the air that it created as the machine stopped, playing with your hair; leaving you breathless.

As you were laughing, he placed both of his hands on both sides of your cheeks and he sweetly pressed his lips against yours. You hummed a bit, missing the feeling of his sweet mouth covering yours.

“What now, Jungkook?” you said, suddenly remembering Jimin’s words and softly moving away from him. “Why did Jimin tell me that I was the only one that could make you change your mind?”

He shook his head, as if telling you to forget about it. He hoped you would forget about it as he kissed you again, this time eagerly than before. He tasted sweetly, but you found a new taste in his kiss. It tasted like goodbye.

You moved your lips away from his again. “You’re not taking the treatment anymore, are you?”

The idea somehow popped into your mind and as you looked into his dark eyes, you found the answer to your question. You always found your answers in his eyes. The answer was “yes”.

You moved away from him even more, as he stood there, silent, looking at you his a sorrowful expression all over his beautiful features.

“What will happen if you don’t take the treatment anymore?” you said, your voice was barely a whisper.

“I just… My brain will not only forget about people and things that happen in my everyday life,” he said, his voice was barely a whisper too.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“My brain will forget to breathe, will forget to make my heart beat inside my ribcage,” he said, his voice somehow becoming serious, as if he was sure about what he was saying.

A sudden wave of need and fear spread through your body, you approached him and kissed him passionately, pouring your heart into the kiss, hoping you’d make him change his mind as Jimin told you.

“You can’t leave the treatment. You have to keep living, for yourself, for me Kookster,” you breathed.

He smiled, his lips still touching yours has his hands covered yours, which were caressing his cheeks, your index finger tracing the soft scar he had on one of his cheekbones.

“You hadn’t called me Kookster in a while,” he said, smiling at the soft nickname that one day escaped from your beautiful lips. He smiled at he remembered how you had flushed after saying the nickname. He smiled as he remembered how rosy your cheeks got when you told him how you had been thinking about a nickname for him because Jungkook was just too long.

“I’m being serious, Jungkook,” you said, your tone changing. “If you don’t take the treatment you’ll die. We’re not joking here, we’re talking about your life.”

The smile disappeared from his lips as he understood you were being serious. Nevertheless, you never stopped caressing his cheeks and it comforted him. He wanted you all for himself until the end of his days. He wanted to be selfish, kiss you again and ask you to stay by his side during the journey he was about to take until his last stop. He wanted to have you by his side when everything turned black. But he wanted even more to see you smile. He wanted to see that beautiful, pure smile. He wanted you to be happy, living a long and satisfactory life. He wanted you to become a great nurse.

He was going to take the last doses of his treatment, a stronger one that would keep him alive some more time. How much more? No one knew. Maybe it could be six months, six weeks. Or maybe it could be less than two weeks. No one knew. He wanted to travel. Maybe go to Greece, find Hercules and the tales he loved when he was a kid.

“I can’t stand it anymore, Y/N,” he breathed, moving away from your touch, making your hands fall onto the bed. “Everyone thinks that they know what I’m going through, but no one knows… No one knows what it is to wake up in a strange bed every week, a bed that has always been mine. No one understands what it is like to speak with two people that tell you that you’re their son. It is awful, awful not to remember anything, to see the pain in the eyes of those who love you. It’s awful to then come here, take the treatment and remember all at once. It hits you with so much force you want to throw up, Y/N,” he grabbed your hands in between his. “I’m tired of hurting people and tired of hurting myself. I don’t wanna live another day scared that I would forget something and never again get it back.”

You tasted your salt tears as they slipped into your mouth.

“Don’t cry. I’m sure about this, it’s what I’ve always wanted. If I can’t live a normal life, those around me will be finally able to do so,” he smiled, and his smile wasn’t sad or melancholic, it was pure and radiant, as it had always been. “Did you know that seeing someone reading a book you love is seeing a book recommending a person?”

You sniffled, leaning towards Jungkook’s touch as he caressed your cheeks, whipping away the tears. You nodded a bit as you had heard that phrase before.

“Well, that day at the station, The Name of The Wind recommended you to me,” he whispered, his face getting closer to you. “It was the best recommendation anyone has done to me in my entire life. I don’t regret a thing. I don’t regret making you laugh and laughing at your stupid jokes and conspiracy theories. I don’t regret falling in love with you.”

“And neither do I,” you began to say. “And that’s why you should think twice about not taking the treatment anymore,” he was just about to interrupt you when you noticed, and continued speaking. “I don’t know what you are going through right now, I’ve never experienced anything like that. What I know is that we deserve to be together.”

He sighed. Oh, how he wished you had time to be together. “I know, I know…” his thumb traced circles over the soaked skin of your cheek.“But the thing is that the treatment isn’t working for me anymore. If I keep taking it, maybe I’ll live another year, maybe even two. But there will be one, or two, more awful years living in this body that can’t keep up with me.”

You swallowed. You knew he was right, but you were selfish. You were human after all, and for the human being, death was something to be scared of, not something you were willing to embrace, like Jungkook did.

“I know I’ll remember you until the last of my days,” he said, lifting your head up. “I’ll remember who I love and that’s more than I ever dreamt off. Not even in my sweetest dreams had I ever dreamt about meeting a girl like you.”

How could he forget about you when you were everything he was made of? Every fibre of his body carried your name written on it. Every fibre had your smell, your laugh, your bad and good jokes, your tears, your words, your gazes, your little sniffles. You had given him something he wanted to remember more than anything.

“This is my goodbye, Y/N,” he whispered, his touch felt like daggers as his words stabbed your heart. “I don’t want you to see me at my lowest. I want you to remember the Jungkook that gave you your bookmark back. Look at me. Where are my oversized hoodies? And my muscled thighs that you loved so much?” he softly laughed as he joked.

His laugh felt like daggers, straight to your already broken heart.

You shook your head, stepping away from Jungkook. His hands were the ones that fell onto the bed then.

“You… You can’t just leave me like this,” you murmured, taking small steps back. Everything about him was breaking you. It wasn’t because of his goodbye, or because of his illness. It was because he looked happy, happier than you had ever seen him in fact. He wanted that. He didn’t want to add another comma to his story. He wanted to add a full stop. He wanted not to forget or remember anymore. “I… I can’t, I can’t say you goodbye when my heart’s not ready for letting you go.”

The boy swallowed. He could see the hurt in your eyes and he hated himself for being the cause of it. But he knew he would the hurt in your eyes would be nothing compared to the hurt he saw that morning when he woke up next to you. When he didn’t know who you were. He hated himself as he remembered how he had thought you were just another pretty face. How he had looked into your eyes and had felt nothing, just a strange familiarity. Now, when he looked into your eyes he could see the entire world, his world.

Hi saw cherry blossoms in your eyes, remembering how the light up each time you admired them from the train. Jungkook felt a pang of pain in his chest, knowing he wouldn’t see another cherry tree blossom again. Knowing he wouldn’t see the pink colour of the beautiful flowers reflected in your eyes. Knowing he wouldn’t spend another spring day by your side.

“I can’t let you go, Jungkook. Sorry,” was all you said before looking one last time to the boy’s eyes before sprinting out of the room and into the changing room. You cried, thinking about the unfairness of life. Life was greedy, she wanted the purest souls just for herself.

That night you dreamt about unknown train stations and new destinations, places to visit and fall in love with. About a Thursday afternoon, fallen bookmarks and doe eyes. You dreamt about two young people, rosy cheeks and silly smiles on their faces. They reminded you of someone, but you never saw their faces clearly. Anyway, their faces weren’t what you looked into that night, as you looked into their hearts.

And they were in love.

Over a fallen bookmark on a Thursday afternoon.


You had never been good at sports, let alone running. But as you ran through the corridors of the hospital, without your ordinary clothes still on, you even enjoyed the feeling. You enjoyed the way you created a soft wave of air as you passed by someone, the air playing with their hair, leaving them breathless as they turned around to look at the stupid girl that was running through the hospital’s corridors on a Thursday morning.

But you didn’t care. Maybe it was what people liked about running: it made you feel somehow, free.

The dream you had had the night before was still replaying in your mind, over and over again. Vivid images of the young lovers pushing you towards the familiar room of the hospital.

“Jungkook!” you nearly cried when you stepped into the plain white room. You were breathless from all the running, knowing that day he was returning home. He was leaving to hospital to never come back again.

The boy looked at you wide-eyed, his mouth forming a small “o”.

You run towards him, not even bothering to close the door behind your back. You placed both of your hands on both sides of his face and you leaned in, so you could touch his lips with yours.

Jungkook was confused. When you stepped out of his room the previous day he knew there was a chance that he would never see you again, since he was planning on flying to Greece the next day.

He saw tears in your eyes when you pulled away from him, your noses still touching.

“A year ago, a boy in a skate and an oversized t-shirt handed me this,” you whispered, pulling out the damaged bookmark from your backpack. You handed the rectangular piece of paper to Jungkook, who was still in shock. “And I immediately fell in love with him. Over a fallen bookmark on a Thursday afternoon.”

Jungkook couldn’t hold the tears back anymore as he hugged you and held the bookmark in between his fingers. When you broke the hug, Jungkook took a moment to observe the bookmark. That Thursday, a year ago, he was so dazed because of you that he didn’t take a moment to look at the piece of paper.

It was plain black, your favourite colour. But when he twirled it, he found some small white letters on it.

“Seeing someone reading a book you love is seeing a book recommending a person,” he whispered.

“I wasn’t aware that it was written on my bookmark until I heard you say it yesterday,” you smiled. “Jungkook, you were recommended to me, and I always read those books other people recommend to me. I’m trying to do the same with people.”

“But-” he began to say.

“Yesterday I acted like a selfish little girl. A coward, selfish little girl,” you sighed, interrupting Jungkook and intertwining your hands with his as you had done the previous day. “I’ve never been a coward, I’m not going to act like one now.”

“W… What are you talking about?” the boy looked at you with a frown in his face. You touched the scar on his left cheek, the tip of your finger making goose bumps appear all over his body.

“Even if you decide not to take the treatment anymore, I’ll be by your side. Every single day, and when you don’t remember me, I’ll introduce myself again to you, like I did that Thursday afternoon a year ago,” you said. Your voice was like a soothing balm to him.

“But I told you yesterday that I wanted you to remember the boy from a year ago, not… This one,” he said, the derogatory tone in his voice making you shiver.

“This boy is the same boy I met a year ago. Nothing has changed, just your physical appearance,” you whispered, your hands still caressing his. “Do you really think I’m that frivolous?”

He shook his head. Clearly, you weren’t understanding what he was trying to say. “When I told you in the train that I wanted to save you the heartbreak, I meant it. I pushed you away from me because I don’t wanna hurt you-” you opened your mouth as if going to interrupt him, but he shushed you. “I’m gonna die, Y/N. I don’t know if it’ll be in two months, six or just one week. It is going to be a tough journey and I don’t wanna drag anyone down with me.”

You finally interrupted him because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut anymore. “I know what I’m signing up for Jungkook, and I don’t care.”

“You think you don’t care because that morning when I looked at you and I didn’t recognise you, you thought I had been drunk the night before, or that I was just lying to you to avoid you. But you don’t know what is like to love someone that loves you back, but sometimes forget about it. You don’t know what is like to look at me in the eyes and see a stranger there. It destroyed my parents, I don’t want it to destroy you too,” he said. But you had thought about it, about it all.

“I think you’re underestimating me, Jeon Jungkook,” you said. Of course you knew you’d hurt, that there would be more bad days than good ones. That you wouldn’t be the same at the end of it all. But you knew too, that you loved Jungkook with all your heart, and you wanted to spend his last days with him, no matter if they were twenty, six months or an entire year.

“You just deserve someone who can love you until the end of your days, someone that can be there with you every single morning, waking un by your side and remembering your face…” his voice cracked at the end.

“Jungkook don’t say that,” you said, raspy voice and furious tears running down your cheeks. Jungkook tried approaching you to wipe away your tears, but you took a step away. “I’ll love you until the end of my days and even if you don’t remember me, you will still love me deep inside you.”

The boy you had fallen in love with, nearly a year ago shook his head. “You know that’s not how this works. If I keep doing this, if we keep doing this, I’ll bury you down with me,” he took a deep breath. “Maybe I won’t love you until the end of your days, but I’ll love you until the end of mine, but that’s not enough for you.”

You looked at him in the eye, making all his walls fall down. “That’s more than enough for me.”


It was a sweet autumn, the sweetest you have ever lived, in fact.

You learned to love the orange and brown colours that decorated the nearly naked threes of Seoul as you learned to love by Jungkook’s side. Being by his side was like a constant lesson. You learned from him and in exchange, he learned from you. From your lively eyes and your bright smile. He learned from the girl he loved that time was precious, even if you had a little left. That you could make the most out of anything if you really wanted to. And so he did.

He made the most out of the little time he had left.

A week after Jungkook was discharged from the hospital, you finally convinced him to let you fly with him to Greece. You’d have to skip university and the internship, but you didn’t care. The long journey by plane from Seoul to Greece reminded you of those Thursday afternoons you shared with him in the train on your way home. You spoke, laughed, read… You were that young couple everyone observed in the train, with yearning eyes from past memories.

You learned that Jungkook loved the ancient mythology, its myths and characters. He told you the tales of Aquiles, of Hercules, Troy and its wooden horse. You loved how his entire face lit up whenever he spoke about something he loved, with so much passion, pouring his heart in everything he loved. But the thing you loved the most about it all, was how his entire face lit up whenever he looked at you, or smiled at you, or just whenever he said your name.

Every day, when you would arrive to the hotel after an exhausting day, he would sit on the bed, writing what had happened that day on his notebook.

He had his bad and his good days. You would love to say that there were more good days than bad ones, but you’d be lying to yourself.

As days went by, Jungkook started to feel how something slipped away from him, little by little. That something slipped through his fingers and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Whenever you kissed him, he would come back to you. Whenever you made love to him, he would come back to you. Whenever you traced your fingers over his skin, slightly stopping at his little moles that you called stars, he would come back to you.

You made him make the most out of the little time he had left.

But not everything was ideal and rosy. There were days when you would wake up to a crying Jungkook in the bathroom, covered in sweat and scared. Scared because he didn’t know where he was, why he was in Greece or who was that girl that was comforting him with such love in her beautiful eyes. You would try to cover the pain each time Jungkook looked at you with those oblivious eyes, knowing that he just needed time to come back to you. As he would read his notebook in the bathtub, you would cry in the balcony of your hotel room, trying to hide your tears from Jungkook.

There were days when you were just walking around the ancient city, or having dinner at some cozy restaurant, and he would suddenly look at you with a frown on his face. He would start crying and shouting like a little lost boy, calling for his parents, his friends. He would yell towards you. “Who are you?” “Why am I here?”. After you would give him his medicine, he would calm down and he would let you take him to the hotel, where he would break down, apologizing to you as everything he had done came back to his mind again.

That hurt more than the oblivious eyes, the screams or the tears. The way Jungkook hurt each time he came back to you, crashed you down into pieces, pieces he would later put back into place as he kissed you, made love to you and reminded you how much he loved you as he pushed into you.

By the time you returned to Seoul, it was already winter.

Winter, nevertheless, wasn’t as sweet as autumn was.

Jungkook was worst each day. Not only physically, but mentally. He kept coming back to you after each episode of amnesia, but you started realising he wasn’t fully coming back to you. A part of him stayed behind each time.

He began being colder and distant towards you, without even realising it. He could feel it too, that missing part of him that had stayed behind since the last episode of amnesia. All the hurt, all the tears, the cries, the shouting, disappeared as he began to feel nothing.

Winter was bitter and cold, just like the wind and the snow that covered Seoul.

Happy memories with Jungkook started lessening and now you can only remember one.

You had just stepped out of the hospital after a tough day of internship when you noticed the tall and lean figure waiting for you outside.

“Kookster?” you said, your voice trembling a bit.

Even though you saw him every day, you never knew which Jungkook you would be facing. That night, the smile he directed towards you let you know he was him, your Jungkook. You ran towards him and he kissed you with force. Something in him knew that night would be his last night with you, not physically, but mentally. Something in you, knew that too.

He insisted on blindfolding you with his scarf and you gave in, smiling as he led you with his hands placed on your hips. He didn’t stop talking to you, so you couldn’t guess where he was leading you. But when he came to a stop and his hands left your hips, you immediately recognised where you were. The noise, the wind, the smell…

And you suddenly heard it, the loud impact of hard wheels making contact with the ground. You smiled as a soft wave of air played with your hair.

As he passed by your side, on his skate, he observed you as much as he could, knowing that it would probably be his last chance to do so. He felt like he was falling in love with you all over again.  

“You can take it off,” he said, making you jump a bit as you didn’t expect him to be so close to you.

When you took his scarf off, you saw Jungkook holding a notebook in his hands.

“Hey, sorry. I think you dropped this,” he said, repeating the exact same words he said to you the first time.

You smiled and blinked a few times, stopping the tears to fall down your face. “I think that’s not mine, sorry.”

“Oh, but now it is,” he said, smiling at you, with that bunny smile you hadn’t seen in a while.

With a wide smile, you grabbed the notebook, but before you could open it, he put his hands over you to stop you from doing so.

“Save it for later, we have a train to take,” he said, as the train entered the station. As it came to a stop, the air it created, played with yours and Jungkook’s hairs. You understood what he meant with “later”.

He took you to a restaurant you both loved in your neighbourhood. You chatted, both of you forgetting about everything: about winter, about time, about his disease…  You were looking at each other, both with silly smiles on your faces. You smiled widely when you thought about what someone would think if they looked at you both in that moment. They’d probably see a boy and a girl whose life had just started, young and beautiful, falling in love under the dim lights of the Italian restaurant. And oh, they’d be right, for you were so in love with each other.

That night, as Jungkook made love to you for the last time, you both took you sweet time caressing each other’s skin. Love words were exchanged between the young lovers, their ephemeral love story coming to an end. You looked at his dark, loving eyes for the last time. He kissed your rosy lips for the last time, taking his time to caress every inch of your body, to listen to your moans and your voice whispering his name, wanting to remember you with everything he had.

Jungkook never came back to you after that night. His eyes never recognised you anymore, even though you knew his heart did. Each day, when you visited him, you introduced yourself as his friend. He would be nice to you, but that would be all. He was weaker, thinner and paler as days went by.

Jungkook left you and the rest of the world on a Thursday afternoon, cherry trees had bloomed again and pink cherry blossoms decorated Seoul’s streets. As you walked towards his funeral with Paula and Rae, you smiled. He had an unique way of doing things, even leaving the world, making sure everyone remembered him like he hadn’t been able to do. He lived in everyone’s minds and hearts. Making sure you remembered him and that he lived forever in your mind and heart. And how could he not? He was the love of your live, and he would always be.

That night you opened his notebook, finding your bookmark on the first page.

“To Y/N, who I hope always remembers me.”

You didn’t cry, nor did you feel sad. You fondly smiled as you read Jungkook’s memories.

***

He came to you like the air comes into the train station after the fast arriving of the machine.

It comes fast and unexpected, making you hoist your head to look at the long vehicle and the people inside. It is so fast you can’t even distinguish the different wagons.

As the train comes to a stop, the wind that it creates plays with your hair, leaving you breathless.

That’s how Jeon Jungkook came into your life.

That’s how Jeon Jungkook left it too.

Humans are terrifying

what if an Alien race started gathering information on us because they were curious, but slowly became terrified because of our lifestyles? We eat a lot of poisonous food and such, and we travel places that could easily kill us.

heck, we even exploded radioactive bombs in space just to see what happened! imagine if an alien kept a log about what it discovered about humans over time, and how they reacted.

Log 5:8:23:24556

Humans should be closely watched as an enemy, as they have developed ways to send radiation at high rates in space. Though they have not been able to send their own kind past the fourth planet from their own, and have built a station on the planet Mealincan. They seem eager to leave their planet, though they do not have sufficient equipment to do so successfully. We have still not been able to send one of our own down to their surface for further surveillance, due to their harsh atmosphere. We are hoping we can catch one already in space and question them about life on their planet.

Log 5:11:23:24556

We have captured a human, one who refers to themselves as a “Proud, conservative, American.” We plan to question it about what sub-race “American” is. So far we have questioned him about his planet’s geography, but it was not very helpful, it told us it “Dropped out of high school” When it was “15”. we will question it further about what high school is, how high up it is, and what it has to do with education, as well as what “15” means.

We questioned why it was up into space, and it told us that it’s “Government” was sending it to work on growing plants on Mealincan. The humans are planning to colonize Mealincan should their planet fail them. Humans are strange creatures, trying to leave their planet before they have the technology.

Log 6:34:24:27786

We have had success! We captured another human, one who seems to know more about the science and geology. The other human, who we have learned is called “Berny” and is of the gender Male, it still on the station with us, and we have been using him to observe how human sub-class American works. We intend on using the other human for research as well.

Log 6:35:24:27786

Humans are without sanity! They eat poisonous foods such as honey, rhubarb, Puffer fish, caster oil (One bean kills a human, four kills a horse), raw almonds, nutmeg, kidney beans, and raw cashews, for fun. They actually enjoy eating these poisonous foods, as well as a few radioactive foods such as a “banana”. The new human, called “Doctor Cho” explained as well how they live, and where! They live in places that could kill them at any moment, with wild life that could kill them easily. They even challenge themselves by traveling to one of the most dangerous places, called “Australia.” for fun!! I highly recommend we try and make allies with them before they can become our enemies, they sound as if they could kill us with ease.

TV Vet AU
  • Jack ends up working at a pound after his overdose instead of working with kids
  • He just needs a break from the ice
  • Also he feels like animals are easy because they have specific needs and if you meet the needs they love you
  • He loves seeing all the babies and everyone who works there loves seeing him with the babies because tiny animals + hockey giant is super cute
  • He still goes to Samwell and plays for SMH but goes into veterinary studies
  • After graduation he does go the NHL for a while
  • Not like a long career but he’s happy with it
  • And when he finishes he goes back to school and gets a veterinary degree
  • He stays in Providence cause he’s still friends with the team, he’s a lot more mellow than he used to be and can be their friends and not hurt that they’re still playing hockey
  • Anyways somehow a tv station ends up approaching the vet clinic he works at to do a vet show
  • And he’s still kind of famous and not super keen on being on tv
  • But he looks over the proposal and the amount of money and he thinks about the extra vet techs he could hire and how much easier it would be to do after hours stuff with the extra cost
  • (Like yes he has NHL money but honestly he’s donated a lot of it and he’s saving up to try and open another clinic so)
  • So he says yes
  • Meanwhile we have Bitty, who ended up going off to a pastry school and now,  couple years out, has found himself with a little pastry shop in Providence
  • It’s not Boston and he’s not making as much money as he could be elsewhere
  • And the hours are terrible
  • But it’s his place and that’s the most important
  • Anyways he’s awake at weird hours and this vet show is always playing
  • Like always
  • Playing
  • And the opening theme shows the vet out running with his dog?? And he’s shirtless?? What human actually looks like that honestly?
  • Anyways Bitty is mesmerized
  • Bitty also has his own little Bun now
  • The bunny is a pretty good pet for him honestly because if he needs to he can put Bun in her cage, but mostly she is very well behaved and can roam Bitty’s apartment while he’s gone
  • So anyways one night Bitty comes home and realizes Bun is limping
  • And he FREAKS out because he’s been at work all day and has no idea what might have happened
  • He’s been taking her to a local clinic for checkups and he calls them and finds out they have one person there for emergencies
  • So he throws Bun in her travel carrier and bolts
  • Bangs on the door and it opens on the hot tv vet
  • Who Bitty didn’t even think was a real vet because when is reality tv even real??
  • Bitty is in shock
  • “Uh, you called about your pet rabbit?”
  • Bitty focuses, explains what happened (not that he knows much)
  • The vet introduces himself as Jack, invites Bitty back while he looks at Bun
  • Jack is staring in concentration at Bun
  • Which gives Bitty a good chance to stare at Jack
  • After a few tests, Jack concludes that Bun probably jumped off something or landed funny, she has a slight fracture but nothing that won’t heal
  • He gets a little cast on her leg and asks Bitty to leave her there until the next day so he can keep an eye on her just in case
  • Bitty mentions he’s afraid of what might happen when he takes her home because he’s the only one there and out a lot for work
  • At his bakery
  • “Wait do you know Larissa? I think she goes there a lot?”
  • Bitty does in fact know Larissa (well, she had said to call her Lardo) (Bitty is probably going to have to ask about her cute vet friend, get some deets)
  • Jack says Bitty could leave Bun at the clinic for an extra few days to make sure she won’t get into trouble
  • Bitty hates to leave her but decides it’s probably for the best
  • He stops back the next day with pastries and coffee as a thank you
  • But Jack isn’t there because he’s out on a house call
  • Bitty is disappointed but can’t figure out how to stay without looking like a creep
  • Anyways this goes on for a few days
  • Bitty is finally allowed to take Bun home when Jack is sure she can’t hurt herself again
  • Jack goes “uh I left the number on the forms in case you need it again?”
  • Bitty knows the vet number
  • That is decidedly not the vet number
  • Bitty calls later that day just to say hi
  • They end up together, to no one’s surprise
  • Bun stars on the show a few times
  • Even makes it into the theme a few seasons later when Bitty and Jack have moved in together
  • Bitty makes special snacks for people that have to work the late shift
  • Everyone loves it
  • The end
2

Darry get’s called down to the office…. (Sister fic)

You knew he was going to be pissed something awful, and by God, you dreaded to see the glare you knew he was sure to be giving you the moment he walked through those doors. 

“I know your parent’s have just died, Y/N.” The principle said with a soft, patronizing tone. “But that is not an excuse to hit somebody, especially a man, you are just lucky he was raised in a good home and doesn’t hit women.” 

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” You had risen from your seat, your hands on your hips as you stared down dangerously at him… but that was also the moment Darry decided to waltz through the room. 

“Y/N, you sit your ass down, you’re in enough goddamn trouble as it is.” You looked at your brother and you saw the venomous look in his eyes, and that was enough to get you to shut up. You knew you were in for a spanking, Darry had threatened you with it before. He still saw you as a child even though you were 17 years old. 

He sat down in the chair beside, all the while giving you his best glare. You knew he was pissed, he worked almost every day to provide for this family, and one day of work could make or break you.

“Thanks for coming, Mr Curtis. I was just saying to your sister that I know that she is under a lot stress because of the passing of your parents and I understand that, but it is not an excuse to hit another person, especially a man. She is lucky that the guy she hit was a fine fellow from a great family.” 

“A great family?” You sneered as you got up from your seat. “He is a piece of shit and you’re his uncle, what does that say about you?” 

“Y/N Curtis!” Darry snapped, not moving an inch from his seat, but his eyes met yours and you knew you urged yourself not to cringe, he meant business. You knew your ass was on the line- quite literally, but you didn’t care any more. 

“You’re lucky he isn’t pressing charges, young lady.” The principle spat. “Now take your seat so we can discuss your punishment like adults.” 

“Are you serious right now? He is lucky that I am not pressing charges for sexual harassment!” 

“Sexual harassment?” Darry asked, looking up at you with wide eyes and then at the snake of a man. “What exactly happened here, Mr Thomas? Because your receptionist told me it was all my sisters fault.” 

“He was snapping my bra straps down, hard might I add. I asked him to stop multiple times, and when he didn’t I hit him. He left bruises.” Mr Thomas’ face had gone bright red and he sank lower into his seat. 

“Can I see them?” Darry asked softly, apologetically almost. When you nodded, he got up from his seat and gently pulled your hair back over your shoulder. 

You felt him unzip your the top of your dress the slightest bit so he could see your back, and you could feel him tense up, a small gasp escaped his lips. 

“Have you seen her fucking back?” Darry spat at the cowering Mr Thomas. Your brother never swore, but this time he was beyond pissed. “There’s not just bruises, there are welt marks.” 

“Boys will be boys.” Mr Thomas muttered softly. “It doesn’t excuse her for hitting him-” 

“Is that the excuse we’re using now? “Boys will be boys?” Does that excuse another man raping a woman? Does that excuse another man beating on a woman? Does that excuse your nephew from sexually harassing my sister?”

“He didn’t sexually harass her-”

“That is exactly what he did. She didn’t want him to do it, she asked repeatedly for him to stop it, and she is the one getting sent to the office and suspended because “boys will be boys?” you’re the most repugnant person I have ever met.”

“I’m not going to suspend her this time-” 

“You’re right, you’re not. We are going down to the police station to press charges and I am going to the school board to have you fired, did you know the head is a woman? How do you think she is going to feel knowing that one of her staff members is allowing sexual assault?” 

“I- I’m sorry- I” 

“Let’s go, Y/N” Darry grabbed your hand gently and began to guide you out of the room, but you were staring at Mr Thomas, the usually proud man was unfolding before your eyes. His wide eyes were furiously tapping at the telephone to make a call, and small, short breaths were escaping his lips.

Darry walked you to the car and opened your door… but then he shut it and looked down at you. 

“Baby I’m so sorry.” He sighed, all signs of anger were gone. “When she called me in, I was so pissed off, I had every intention of spanking you when we got home. I didn’t think for a second that maybe something serious had happened or that it wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry that I was so short-”

“You don’t have to apologize, I understand.” 

“I love you kid, they’re not going to get away with it, you dig?” He wrapped his arms around you, being careful not to touch your back. 

“I love you too.”

Can You Guess Which Football Signals Robonaut Is Doing?

Meet Robonaut, our humanoid robot (which means it’s built to look like a person). This makes it easier for Robonaut to do the same jobs as a person. 

Robonaut could help with anything from working on the International Space Station to exploring other worlds…and now he might even take up a job as a referee!

We had Robonaut act out a few football signals. Can you guess what they are?!

Signal #1

Signal #2

Signal #3

Signal #4

Signal #5

Signal #6

Signal #7

Signal #8

Signal #9

Get the answers:

But it’s not all fun and games for Robonaut…from performing movements like a referee to helping astronauts on the space station, it’s important to have a robot that can perform the same tasks as humans. Why?  

Robonaut could someday be tested outside the space station. This testing would determine how well Robonaut could work with, or instead of, spacewalking astronauts. Designers even have ideas for sending a robot like Robonaut to another world someday. If testing goes well, who knows where Robonaut - or a better robot based on Robonaut - could end up?

To learn more about connections between space and football, visit: https://www.nasa.gov/football   

To learn more about Robonaut, visit: https://www.nasa.gov/robonaut2 

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

Out numbered, out gunned, never out fought

My first real attempt at a humans are space orcs story. Written on my mobile, so excuse any spelling errors, I have proof read and tried to correct, but some may have slipped through the cracks.

Queen Krillix clicked her mandibles together in anticipation as he surveyed the situation upon his scanners.

The Vespula fleet consisted of five hundred dreadnoughts, two hundred heavy support vehicles, one hundred attack fighters, and one flagship; a Nova-class heavy bomber, a type aptly nicknamed by their enemies “planet smasher”.
The fleet of the United Sol fleet however, was a dozen warships, half a dozen battle cruisers, and a hundred mongrels; ships which had previously cargo haulers, research vessels, and transport ships meant to carry colonists to new worlds, all of them had been stripped down and retrofitted with heavier weapons and armour. They were not ascetically pleasing but were serviceable enough. For humans.

From her throne room aboard the planet-smasher “Iron Sting” (loosely translated into galactic common.) the queen extended her will to her army. The hive was not of mindless drones, her soldiers could think for themselves, their intelligence, their instincts, guided the hive to victory. But their will was the queens will and the queens will was their will. She guided them, drove them, gave them reason to live. The hive without their queen was a bunch of soldiers without a cause, without desire to do anything to eat and procreate. With billions of mouths that feed already the hive was running out of food in the handful of systems their already controlled. Expansion was the only key to their survival. So the queen drove them on, ever forward, ever outward, to new worlds and new foods.

So it had passed that the hive had found this small system, with an unassuming little star. Colonised worlds and strange fleshy-bipeds running around their little homes and growing food. No armies, no defences; none that bothered the hive anyway. Not even space worthy vessels.

The hive had descended and claimed this world. There had been but a paltry resistance from the bipeds. But farmers with pitchforks and lasers were no match against a single attack ship and the well trained soldiers of the Vespula when the will of the queen was behind them.

There in the ashes of the settlement, the hive had learned the name of the bipeds; humans. They had come to learn the name of their world; New Earth. They came to learn the fleshy bipeds were not born to this planet but another.

They were much like the hive, in their own primitive way. They dominated their homeworld and had spread. First across their own system and then, when they ran out of room, to others. Anywhere they found suitable they planet their two feet and claimed it for their own. Yet they also did something the hive did not. The humans called it Terraforming; to force a world to be suitable for your kind. The science caste had put their minds to this terraforming as a way for the hive to claim more worlds. But the process was slow, taking several hundred cycles. Dozens of queens would come and go before even one world was made suitable for the Vespula. An unnecessary waste of resources for too long a goal. Expansion of suitable planets was deemed the only true way forward.

The queen acknowledged a slight kinship with the humans, despite them being fleshy bipeds of dull colouring, and the Vespula were the great insectoids of the royal black and noble yellow. Like the Vespula, they were driven as the hive was driven, by the need to grow and survive.

The feeling of kinship did not make the queen stay her tarsal claw. If anything it encouraged her. These humans were not just prey, or a nuisance, they were competition. They needed worlds and food as did the hive. They had great, ever expanding numbers, as did the hive. How long before they came to battle over territory? The queen considered and decided to strike first. These humans were primitive. They had only recently discovered the means to travel faster than light. They had strange notions of peaceful exploration and learning. They took only those worlds which were not already owned by sentient beings. This was surely a hindrance. It was a weakness, if nothing else. When something stood in the way of your food you should strike it down. It was the only way to be strong. The only way for the majority to survive. No wonder they hadn’t expanded too far.

“Status?” The queen asked and the solder of the tactician caste responded.
“Scans show no other human ships in the sector.”
Then this paltry number was their whole fleet.
“Weapons appear to be high intensity lasers. Radiation signatures on the warships and battle cruisers indicate nuclear weaponry”

Primitive. Nuclear weapons, such a barbaric people. Yet effective enough in its own way. If it were not for their shield generators the queen might have been worried.

If the humans concentrated fire on one ship at a time the humans could break the shields and take down a dreadnaught or two. Such ha tactic would have even worked against the planet smashing Nova-class vessel. But during that time they would be taking fire from every other ship around them. They would surely be destroyed before any shields collapsed.

As it was, all the Vespula ships had shields and the human weapons would crash against them as they tried to attack ten times their number. The Vespula would cut through this pitiful fleet with their quantum cannons and proceed through this Sol system, claiming every inhabitable planet along the way until they reached the human homeworld. Glory to the hive!

The queen bent her will, her fighters felt her and obeyed as her will became their own. The weapons began charging, their ships took positions for attack. In a few more seconds the humans ships would be in range of their cannons.

Then there was a voice she had not expected. “My queen.”
It came from a drone of the technician caste, manning the communications station. He seemed confused, this concerned the queen. “We are receiving a message from the flagship of the human fleet.”
Thirty seconds until the ships were in range.

The queen waved a claw dismissively. “I have no patience for long speeches about how they will not be defeated how they will make their stand and-” the technician interrupted her, another unexpected thing.
“My queen, the translator states only two words.”
The queens antennae raised upwards- the equivalent of a smile to their race. “Let me guess, ‘we surrender’?”
Ten seconds and the ships would be in range.
“No my queen.”
The queen looked at him expectantly, “no?”
The technician looked again at his screen, which had translated the strange language of the humans into a written transcript. “It says, 'Leeroy Jenkins.’”
The queen’s mandibles clicked, her antennae dropped, the signs of confusion “Leeroy Jenkins?”

The ships came into range. The human ships raced at great speed. The Vespula ships fired. The human ships did not engage them?! They did not slow to attack speeds! They did not shoot. They charged onwards. Their movement was too fast. The quantum cannons missed! The targeting combat computers of the Vespula worked best on ships that had slowed to a proper attack speed. This was the speed of fleeing, but the humans were still heading toward them?! The queen was confused as were her soldiers, but their wills were found one thought, one desire; shoot the human ships.

Some ships hit, but they were only glancing blows off the armour of the speedy and agile human vessels. Then a luck shot! One human vessel, a war ship, exploded as the quantum laser caught its nacelles. The other vessels raced past, igniting their fallen comrades. They didn’t fire against the attack fighters, they ignored the cruisers and dreadnoughts. The puny human vessels penetrated into the very heart of the seam of hive ships.

Too late the queen realised their course; they were targeting the flagship, only the flagship. HER SHIP!
“All power to shields!”

Half a dozen nuclear weapons were launched at once, less than 500ft from the hull.

Just in time did the technician pour the auxiliary power into the shield generators. The shockwaves of the explosions made the shields rumble like a violent ocean. Radiation detectors signalled that the outside of the ship was already a hotbed of fallout. Their thick hull and shields were keeping the interior safe.

A second wave of missiles were launched. A third were close behind. Before those nukes even hit their shields, the ships of the first wave were in range and launching another wave.

Where was her ships? Her soldiers? Their powerful weapons? The queen already knew the answer, the hive was too afraid of the swift and agile
Human ships. They couldn’t fire upon them for the risk of hitting the flagship.

The fourth wave of missiles impacted. Alarms signalled the collapse of the shields and radiation penetrating the outer layers of the hull.

The tiny human ships were massing again, launching their fifth strike. Nuclear missiles and lasers fired simultaneously. All their fire was concentrated one one place; the bridge.

***

Far and away, across the void of space. The princess Noxi was torn from her rest in her sleeping chamber. Emerging from the warmth of her cocoon she scrambled to an opening and looked to the stars. For the hive they had always been warm and inviting, promising new planets, food and resources for the glory of The Hive. Now they looked cold and frightening. Promising unknown dangers and darkness. She felt a shiver run through her thorax.

Across the hive cries went up as the realisation dawned on each member of the Vespula race. Males, females, and larvae were all feeling as one the terrible loss and grief not only of so many brothers and sisters, but their beloved queen.

Princess Noxi felt an ache in the back of her head. There was no stopping it. It began instinctively as soon as her mother had died. She felt the ache grow in intensity, almost searing her brain, as her connection to the hive grew and solidified.

Within minutes the pain faded. Queen Noxi looked upon her hive with fresh eyes. The will of the hive was her will. Her will was the will of the hive.

These Humans. Not long ago their desire had been to destroy these fleshy bipeds. They were supposed to be primitive. They were supposed to be weak. They were supposed to fall to the hive like so many had before.

The soldiers in the sol system. Her soldiers now. Their fight was on hold. Their shock was fresh. They had just witnessed the death of their queen while they’d been stuck, helpless, lest they harm the queen they were trying to protect. They needed her guidance now, more than any other in the hive. They were waiting for it. Waiting for the will of their queen to guide them.

Queen Noxi gave her will out to all of the hive across all their worlds, the billions of minds received her, “Run. Run from the humans.”

She hoped it was enough to save them.

7

Darling

Location: 4328, boul. St-Laurent, Montreal

Metro Station: Mont Royal

End of April… marks the end of finals. School’s out!… Well only for about 3 days until I go to summer school. 

Nonetheless, gives me enough time to explore my city without any pressure from my academic responsibilities!

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having a lunch type date in the Mile end until our plans miserably failed when we realized our chosen restaurant wasn’t going to open for another 4 hours. We decided to hop on a random bus on the corner of the street since it was pouring like crazy and we didn’t feel like staying out in the rain. We got off a stop when we started feeling like we knew the neighbourhood and ended up in the Plateau… again. 

After finding a place to eat, we decided to walk around some new areas in the Plateau we hadn’t discovered yet. Although it was raining, breathing in fresh air was so refreshing considering we had been locked in our room the past 3 weeks trying to stuff 5 courses worth of information in our heads. 

I felt like I was in a European dramatic movie - walking in the rain with a little umbrella with my favourite person, discovering places with nothing else in mind. Queue the Parisienne music. 

We suddenly stumbled upon an exotic looking shop on the corner of a street. From the outside looking in, while we were dripping with water, we could see plants and wine and bright lights and greenery and comfortable couches and… coffee! Sold.

We went into the coffee shop and was immediately warmed with welcomes from the waiter. A coffee shop - but a different kind at that. The first thing that caught my eye was with no hesitation the lights on the ceiling. I don’t really know what the letters spell out, but they sure look aesthetically pleasing so I rolled with it.

The section next to the windows was very casual with the couches. There were mini candles decorating each table and plants flowing around every corner, making the space extra inviting - battling the coldness of the weather outside. As the Jazz music was playing in the background, we took a seat on the couches, avoiding the tables since we didn’t have laptops since we didn’t have school. Emphasis on the comfort!!! No school equals we can sit on the nice couches and relax. 

I saw students around me on their laptops still working very hard on their studies… accompanied with their glasses of wine instead of the usual latte. I liked it. I love coffee but i live for these different little details in shops. 

Let me explain the wine though, because it is a very important part of this “coffee shop”. It’s not really a “coffee shop”. It’s a hybrid. Half coffee shop, half bar. You heard that right. It’s also a bar. Order food, order alcohol, order coffee - sit at the huge circular bar for a nice glass of wine or beer or anything else, or sit on the couches like me and still order your usual. I got a chai latte this time so I tried to be a bit different than my regular latte. And it was delicious! One of the best I’ve ever had.

I felt like I was in a different country in this cafe. With decorations like mini instruments on the walls, to the candles on the tables, to the vintage looking decor, I also felt like I was in a Jazz club. Everything was so perfectly shaped together. 

I know I say I love all the cafes in Montreal - and I do, don’t get me wrong - but this place is really one of my favourites now. It made me feel like I’m in 1920s Paris and I lived for it. Next time, I’ll even dress for it.

Sometimes, your plans might go awry and your chosen restaurant will open only 4 hours later. However, sometimes… those moments are calls for better adventures and more exploration with improvisation. Let the rain guide you to beautiful shelters.

BTS COMEBACK: WHAT ARE OUR GOALS?

MAIN GOAL: Have fun and enjoy the comeback of course!!! ^_^ But at the same time, I would just like to list down some of the goals we can help Bangtan achieve on this comeback. As always I really encourage helping out if you have the means and time to do so. Even the smallest, simplest effort counts! But at the same time, it’s understandable if real life responsibilities are really demanding. Please always prioritize school or work or family first. I believe we all try to help in our own ways.

GOALS TO ACHIEVE THIS COMEBACK: 

1. All Kill in the charts (meaning the title track gets the #1 spot on all the major KOREAN streaming apps)
2. BILLBOARD HOT 100
3. At least 15 Million (FIFTEEN) youtube views on the MV in 24 hours
4. Win a music show trophy 3 consecutive times on one show.
5. Awards\Daesang at Year End Award Shows
6. Record breaking physical album sales

To say that the current competition on Korean Music Charts is VERY competitive is honestly a HUGE understatement. It’s really really super competitive, to help Bangtan chart well it’s really gonna take maximum effort. Like it’s honestly something not to be taken lightly so we really need all the help we can get. So, major key to help achieving the goals set are streaming the songs and buying the digital copies.

Keep reading

Sunday chain #27

1. It was my mother who first discovered the fuel leak. Or at least, that’s what we thought it was then. My grandmother, who was the last of us to have set foot on Earth, had died the month before. We had gathered in the laundry atrium, which was the largest open space without ongoing maintenance work, and made such tribute as we could: this is one of the first things I remember. My mother said it felt like a new era, like we were on our own. Although of course we had been out of radio contact with Earth for many years by then. And then, so soon after: the fuel numbers didn’t quite add up. The guardian angels of the old world gone, and we were on our own. But we had excess fuel against unplanned contingencies. It was the slowest of slow leaks. No big deal.

2. There is another thing that is odd about the path of the ship: sometimes it makes corrections that we did not tell it to make. Not often, but sometimes. I wish I could say that I was the one who discovered this, but I think it was Grace Cao who first noticed it. The ship does have a mechanism for external course corrections. It was designed for two circumstances: to retrieve the ship in the case of the crew becoming somehow disabled at launch, and at the fabled other end: for our children’s children’s children to be guided into port on the new worlds by the settlers who had landed before them. It uses a separate communications channel: minimal data and supposedly programmable across huge distances. But it is entirely possible that it is buggy. Still, the end point of our journey is the system that it always was. Also, hopefully, no big deal.

3. Over the years, we have gone from thinking of the ship as a complex but explicable machine to thinking of it as a mysterious engine that we cannot quite control. Too much not quite lining up. Maintenance is turning into ritual. The Machine is turning up in the old stories from Earth. It keeps us alive but it can punish us. It is capricious and sometimes angry. So we were ready for the latest development, I suppose. Too ready: there is so me scandal down in engineering with Peter and the Adeosun wards, and I have heard people say, joking-not-joking, that our fuel problems are down to moral failing.

4. Nevertheless, I think the changes we now see are more likely to belong in the domain of the fuel leak. And this time they are worrying. If we sustain this level of fuel depletion to our destination, we will be out of reserves. Too many things to go wrong. There has been an uptick in the rate of fuel loss, and no obvious reason for it. I sent Xuebing and Grace Cao out on a spacewalk to inspect the fuel tanks. It has been a long time since since anyone went on spacewalk. We had to fire up the fabricator to print a new seal for the second suit. But they have not found anything external.

5. The way it fluctuates is curious. I am not sure that we are looking at this the right way.

6. Of course, the other option is that it is something in our course correction. We have certainly not made any deviation in heading for years, intentionally or unintentionally. It cannot be that. Could it be speed correction? We are at the speed we would expect to be at, at this point in the journey. But if were to deviate from this, the ship would automatically intervene to put us back. It would use fuel. But why would it need to? We are in deep space. We are as alone as any humans have ever been. There is nothing here to slow us down.

7. Some further time has passed. Grace Sharma has been plotting the anomaly. But I fear now that we are already beyond the point where the mission is lost. We will not be able to correct at the other end. Perhaps when we get there we can send the settlers a distress call. Perhaps they can rescue us somehow.

8. The crew at the bridge all know it now, but for the while we have not told the others. Maybe there is some way out. If only we knew what was happening! It is hard to extract the information, but with Bernard-Rose and Grace’s help I think we have it confirmed: the engines are running at a higher rate than they should for what is supposed to be primarily a power-generation role  On a whim, I tried assuming the missing fuel had gone into speed correction. What could the forces on the ship have been to cause that? And out came the plot, like a dream, like a nightmare. Because this was a curve that I had seen before.

9. The Wang-Fernstell curve. Physics class. One of a range of competitors to the standard model of quantum gravity. A fringe idea, really. In any case not experimentally confirmable on the small scales available in the solar system. But on a long voyage across deep space: yes, absolutely confirmable. You would observe a slow deceleration over time, oscillating in a distinctive way, increasing in magnitude. Or, if you had a ship that corrected for that sort of thing, you would gradually run out of fuel. And then stop. In deep space. So it seems we have made an incredibly important discovery about the structure of the Universe. And it seems that we will never be able to tell anyone about it. It seems that we are doomed.

10. I have told the others. The ship is very quiet. I cannot stop thinking of all the ships that went before us, of all the ships that will come after. Did they all make this discovery, once they were beyond hope of rescue? Are they all lost? Is the Earth even now churning out new ships to drift, lifeless, into the void, and pinning all its future hopes on them? We have turned off the speed correction in the hope of saving fuel for power, though we will be able to eke a tiny amount out of the solar panels when that fails. But now, of course, the ship has started making course corrections again, ones that we cannot override. Of course. I have asked Peter to move up to the kitchen hold. It is not at all clear that he is safe.

11. Another correction. We are going to run out of fuel. We are coming towards our final resting place.

12. We are coming towards our final resting place. And there is something there. Something gleaming in the starlight up ahead. It is hard to make out. A complex, huge, many-looped grey thing, studded across with tiny lights.

13. It is the ships. It is the other ships. Thousands and thousands of them, all linked up: something between a space station and a planet. We are within radio range of it now. And they have been calling us! We are to dock at the nearmost point. They called us from an atrium full of trees. Trees! I have never seen such a thing. But why not use some of the seeds now, whilst they lie becalmed? And maybe it will not be forever. They say there may be something they can make of the new physics, some way to make these odd forces work for us. But for now I am just marvelling at the thing they have made. It has states. There are parts of it where the languages are diverging. There are parts of it that worship the myth of the machine. We will all have to choose where to live and what to work on. So much to do, to keep it alive!

14. But one thing still to do now: use the remaining fuel to power up the long-range transmitter. We need to send the requisite course corrections to the next ship down the line.

jeremy2191  asked:

Does all capsules drops in Kazakhstan on return after every mission?

Since the US Space Shuttle retired in 2011, we launch to and return from the Space Station with the Russian Space Agency.  So yes, these capsules (the Soyuz) land in Kazakhstan (or surrounding regions).  However, different spacecrafts have different reentry trajectories, depending on where they aim to land.  As you might recall, the Apollo mission capsules landed in the ocean.  Since Space-X and Boeing are currently building new vehicles so that we will also launch from the US again to get to the International Space Station, these spacecraft will return to the US. For example, you may have seen footage of Space-X cargo vehicles splashing down into the Pacific over the last few years. The Boeing Starliner plans to land on land instead of water. NASA is also currently building the Orion spacecraft, which will take us to destinations beyond low earth orbit (where the Space Station is), whether that be the Moon or Mars or another target.  Orion will also splash down in the ocean.  

Responsibility

People often say to nurses or doctors,

“How was your day?”

Tell me how it is to be a nurse, how is it to be a doctor?”

Questions that perhaps give us the most pause.

Except, if you ask us, the work on the frontline feels anything but explainable, anything but extraordinary.

We wake up in the morning, we dread going to work, we hit the snooze button like any other, wishing the day wasn’t Monday, wishing the 12.5 hours stretched before us wasn’t today, wishing we could snuggle under the covers, away from the world. We surface, kick the covers off obstinately, brew our coffee/tea, curse the obnoxious commuters. We resemble any responsible adult when we go through the motions of everyday life.  

Except; the responsibility hasn’t even begun.

We punch in, walk onto the unit, surveying the waiting room as we walk in - a determinant of how the shift may be; large groups grieving, families arguing, solemn looks, crash cart lined up outside the room, empty nursing station warning trouble in one or more of the rooms, and we want to turn around and walk back off the unit.

Except, we don’t.

We take our assignment for the day, the patient who is crashing in room 12, and another supposed low maintenance patient, awaiting step down unit. We peek at the low maintenance patient on the way to the crasher, heart already feeling the guilt that we are about to neglect this patient today while we deal with the storm next door.

Except, we don’t have time for guilt - yet.

We spend the day in what could only be described as chasing our own tail; watching patients mercilessly who state “I won’t fall,” accepting blame when they do during the four seconds we turned the other way, we scurry back and forth titrating drips, sending copious labs, adjusting ventilator settings, participating in rounds, admitting, discharging, and transferring patients…and ready to begin it all over again before the room is even properly dry from being bleached clean….we spend an inordinate amount of time cleaning up after doctors, and other providers, a trail of empty gauze, sodden dressings, syringes, tape, packaging and other assorted items so they do not become trapped under patients, or invade what little personal space they have, we dedicate moments, and sometimes backbreaking hours with patients, turning and  positioning, and tucking them in snug and warmly - not just because a damn hospital policy tells us to, but because it’s the one little thing we can do to give them a little dignity, a clean environment while this room and this bed is their home. We escort families in, and tactfully shoo them out with the frequency of  cleaning the escaping diarrhea around the flexi-seal tube, somewhere in the middle of this reflecting on the harsh realities and visuals of nursing that television shows will never depict.

We grapple with decisions, weighing the risks and benefits of what we’re about to do and often it occurs without anyone else in the room, the enormity of the responsibility so overwhelming, yet we cannot think and stew on it until the day is done.

Except, try as we might, we’re not sure we could articulate it well to the masses, either.

We forgo meal breaks  when a patient is decompensating; not because we desire the glory of trudging on, but because for this day, this patient is our world, our responsibility, and one hour away from them in an understaffed unit  - with a fellow nurse watching them alongside of his/her own catastrophic situation  - well, it isn’t a meal break we will enjoy peacefully, so we tell ourselves we’ll just catch up a bit more, then go. Just another 10 minutes, then 10 minutes becomes just another hour… until it becomes just two more hours to change of shift, just one more hour, just thirty minutes.

Except, on most days, we aren’t even aware of how much time has escaped and we’re catching up on all the vital signs, the hourly intake, the interruptions and time seems to stand still in the moment when the patient arrests and the room is flooded with doctors and nurses trying to save this life.

Time stands still, even though an hour has passed and the patient is successfully resuscitated, and we go about the ordinary tasks of maintaining human function that the media will never portray, we go about cleansing the grime and gore that won’t stop gushing from all orifices - a sight we endure that’s by no means extraordinary, but an ordinary function of what we do, we spend time that feels like hours scurrying after orders while patients circle the drain, when our voices have grown hoarse over days and weeks from pleading with the doctors to grow some balls and tell the families honestly their loved one isn’t coming back, and it’s time…time to stop slaughtering them with invasive treatment, time to do what’s humane, not what’s good for ego, time to to stop and let them go….even though our hearts are shattered to admit defeat too. Most days we tell ourselves ordinary has to feel “enough” as we stare at the ceiling while sleep won’t come.

We spend sacred minutes, which is more than likely scattered moments with patients who are suffering, end of life, experiencing the agony of distressing news. We are at the bedside during painful procedures, we are at the bedside when no one else is there, no families, no friends, no one to speak of, We are the comfort of the brave, the solace of the strong, the restful place of the tired, and dying. And somedays we cannot leave it all there, so the caregiver role strain, the responsibility, the extent of what we see and feel in one day cannot be captured in any articulate sentence,

So,

When someone asks us how our day was, we’ll just say, “fine”

When someone asks us what it means to be a nurse, we are likely to simply say “responsibility.”

..We punch out, the day is over.

The outside world looks for what’s extraordinary.

To us, we find meaning in the ordinary.

Flight 512

For some reason, I like this. It isn’t really anything special or great, but it’s something. I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for being so patient. I know it’s been a while

“Flight 512 to Toronto, Canada has been delayed..”

My eyes threaten to close and I have to keep drumming my fingers against the steel bench in order to keep awake. It’s as though every part of my body - my legs, my arms, my neck - all have the same intention of aching until I cry. I sigh for the hundredth time and attempt to find a comfortable position but to no avail. 

There’s a cool breeze coming from somewhere unknown to me, but I realise that the chill down my back is another thing keeping me awake so I don’t complain, despite the mountains of goosebumps that have spread across my arms.

I watch the clock’s hand move round and round its face. It’s as though one minute it was close to midnight and now, as I’m sat on the exact same bench, it’s coming up to three o’clock.

Looking to my left and then to my right, there doesn’t seem to be many people around, only the odd man or woman dragging their suitcase across the floor. I somehow feel as though I’m the only one waiting for the delayed flight. I wrap my arms around my stomach and lean my head against the back of the steel chair, it sends shocks through my neck. 

Behind me, far at the other side of the airport, there’s a glass window that fits the length of the room. Every now and then, there’ll be minute flashes of light from the awakening of a plane. Orange would cloud every inch of it’s vicinity.

“Flight 512 to Toronto, Canada has been delayed, we apologise for..”

I refrain from cursing the woman’s voice and sit up for the first time in a long period of time. My legs no longer feel a part of my body and I have to bounce them up and down to begin to feel the familiar static feeling running through them. I wipe my eyes with the palms of my hands. 

“Excuse me.” A voice rings through the space I thought was empty and causes me to jump slightly due to the sudden sound. 

I look up to see a figure towering over me. It takes me a few seconds to take in their appearance due to the fact that I’m currently seeing stars after having pressed the palms of my hands into my eye sockets so hard.

“Uh, hi,” I mutter, and my voice cracks.

“Anyone sitting here?” The boy points to the seat beside me where my bag lays open, its contents almost spilling out. I think it’s his way of asking me to move it.

“Um, no,” I reply, already grabbing my bag and pulling it onto my lap. I subtly look around the room and see the rest of the benches completely empty. 

“Thanks.” He smiles and I’m hesitant to return it, but I do. 

We sit in silence, apart from the occasional announcements over the loudspeaker. 

When I get chance, I can watch the boy out of the corner of my eye. His dyed-blonde hair is cut short but it seems to be growing steadily, and his skin is tanned perfectly. Every now and then he’ll reach to his right before raising his hand to his lips. 

I run a hand through my hair and it’s as though he’d forgotten I’m here and my movement startled him. He turns to me and I can hear a soft crinkling sound.
“Grape?” he asks and offers a tub of grapes to me. At this point, I’m beyond confused and shake my head. “It’s cool, I haven’t done anything to them, like poisoned them or anything.” He grins menacingly. 

“Saying that makes me think you have,” I say and raise an eyebrow at him. To this, his grin seems to deepen. 

“Suit yourself.” He drops another between the barrier of his lips before chewing. I look away and sigh. “Your flight been delayed too?” 

I’m confused as to why he’s sat so close to me that I can feel the warmth of his thigh against mine, I’m confused as to why he’s offering me grapes, and I’m startled at the fact that he’s still trying to make small talk.

“Unfortunately.”

“I’m Justin, by the way,” he says and offers his hand for me to shake. I suddenly feel my own become clammy.  

“[Y/N],” I reluctantly shake his hand and feel the softness of his skin. I appreciate how pleasantly warm it is. 

“That’s a nice name,” he says before popping another grape into his mouth. 

“Thanks-“

“Are you travelling alone?” he interrupts me, but the calm and inviting look on his face tells me he didn’t mean anything by it. 

“Yeah, I’m going to see my family in Canada. Are you?” 

“My family’s up here, I’m heading home. To Canada, actually.”

I nod. “Did you have a nice time?”

He looks over at me and smiles. I can see his eyes moving around the features of my face and I suddenly feel self-conscious.

“I had a pleasant time, yeah.” 

“Flight 512 to Toronto, Canada has been delayed, we apologise for the inconvenience..”

“Drives you insane, doesn’t it?” he says and looks up towards the ceiling. I can see the veins working in his neck, I can see the beginning of a tattoo on the back of his neck and curiosity fills my body.

“Tell me about it.” 

Another silence falls over us but for the first time it doesn’t seem to be uncomfortable. Every now and then, he’ll raise his hand to his lips while I sit motionless. 

“Sure you don’t want one?” 

I shake my head as politely as I can and I see him shrug. 

There’s another hour before anything changes. My conversation with Justin escalates and it’s evident we’ve both become accustomed to each other, even Justin - who dripped with confidence from the beginning - has seemingly opened up even more. 

“There’s a restaurant in Toronto that do the best pancakes in the world, I swear, I could eat them for every meal of the day,”

“I’ve never been a huge fan of pancakes,” I say, crossing my legs and facing him. Justin does the same. 

“Try these and your opinion’ll change. Give me your number and I’ll take you whenever you’re free.” He grins. 

The grapes are long gone and I regret not taking up his multiple offers because I can hear a monster growling in my stomach.

“It’s a deal,” I smile and he imitates me. 

There’s subtle dark marks under his eyes and his eyes look heavy, but his face seems to light up when he smiles and I enjoy watching it happen. It’s like the darkness before the sun comes up from behind the trees and it makes the world seems so much brighter. 

“I’ll see you there,” he grins proudly.

“Promise?”

“Scouts honour.”

I laugh and I can see he’s watching me. His brown eyes are burning into my skin and a flush trickles through my body like boiling water.

“Flight 512 to Toronto, Canada is due at 17:55. Please be ready for departure..”

Justin releases a long breath and sits up straight. “That’s us.”

“Finally,” I say and pick my bag up as it sits on the floor with a swift movement. I feel a strange reluctance to have to leave, despite having spent long enough here.

It’s quiet while we collect our things. Justin is the first to stand and he watches and waits for me while I click the handle of the suitcase into place. He smiles when I stand, he’s taller than me so I still have to lean my head back to be able to see the light in his eyes.

My legs feel as though they’ve been replaced with steel, and I’m struggling to walk beside Justin without feeling aching pains shoot through them.  I clutch the strap of my bag tighter in the palm of my hand.

To my left I can see a cafe with a sign saying ’24 Hour’ and it’s as though my stomach knows; it lets out a howl that lasts a good few seconds before dying down again. I chew my bottom lip and speed up when I smell fresh coffee and baking cookies.

“So,” Justin starts. “Were you serious? Would you be willing to give me your number?” He looks down at me and I can feel the warm look he’s giving me.

I shrug. “Why not? You’ve had plenty of time to kidnap me and you’re yet to do so. I think you’re safe enough,” I chuckle and he laughs. His teeth are blindingly bright and I’m only just acknowledging this. They contrast with his tanned skin.

He gives me his phone to which I take carefully and type my number in. He’s watching me and it causes me to have to delete my mistakes with shaking hands.

“I’ll call you,” he says and I nod.

“I’ll be waiting.”

It sounds like a goodbye, even though we’re still walking to the boarding station together, not to mention, getting on the same plane. I can see the dots in the distance beginning to look like actual figures, and as we get closer, I can see that every one of them looks as exhausted as Justin and I. We stick close together and join the group.

It takes another twenty minutes or so before a steward arrives. Justin has taken a packet out of his backpack and I notice it’s filled with cookies. He takes one and I listen as he crunches contently, trying not to let my mouth water too much.

He moves the packet towards me and I smile while taking one at a steady pace, not wanting to seem too eager.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. I’ve been hearing your stomach growl for the past three hours, I figured I’d help you out,” he says casually. “Here. Take them.” He shoves the packet to my chest and I’m forced to grab them so they don’t fall to the floor.

I blush and say nothing. The group seems to have formed into a queue and the steward is now checking people’s tickets; everyone practically throws the tickets towards the poor man.

I stand beside Justin and munch on a few more of the cookies to rid myself of the empty feeling in my stomach. There’s noise and commotion around us but we stand quietly. Justin’s hand brushes against mine and it’s soft and warm against my own. My heart beats a little faster.