we got so many kisses :d

there are so many poems, songs, that start with your name
that I can’t read anymore because they remind me of when I had hope
when I thought that I’d get my happy ending
but I always signed off, your friend
I never believed we’d be more than that

and we weren’t
the closest I ever got to you was kiss on the cheek
and then it broke in the middle of the hallway
and I had to pretend I was fucking fine
because someone, maybe it was my traitor heart, spilled the truth

and the pages in my notebook are ripped out
and I stood there, scared and shocked 
and I lied and said I wasn’t in love with you
but after so many nights where you saying my name kept me awake
after so many days where a smile made everything bad disappear
that was worst lie I’ve ever told

—  it still aches by Abby S

Heyy everybody, this is part 3 of my break story! Thank you all so much for reading my little series and sending me so many nice messages. Let me know what you think about this part.xx

She pushed him away with as much force as she could muster up and actually made him stumble a few steps.
“I have a boyfriend!” she exclaimed.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just thought because-”
“No!” she interrupted him.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t ever do that again!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.
She opened her car door, went in and slammed it shut with force. Within seconds she left the parking lot and Tim standing there.
Tears welled up in her eyes, making her vision blurry and she knew she should stop her car and calm down because this wasn’t safe. But she wanted to get home and shower and wash his touch off.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
She never meant to gave him the feeling wit was okay to kiss her.
The only person who was allowed to kiss her was Harry.
For goodness sake, she kissed him only a few hours before.
But the feeling of lips against hers that still lingered weren’t from Harry’s kiss.
Another man kissed her.
And even though she pushed him away and didn’t respond to his kiss she still felt guilty.

When she finally made it home she was properly crying with fat tears and loud sobs. She ripped her clothes of her body and took a hot shower. She stood underneath the hot water for at least half an hours, washing of the feel of his hands and lips on her.
She checked her phone when she went to bed and more tears fell from her eyes when she saw her lockscreen. Harry and her. Smiling so much that they weren’t able to kiss each other properly.
She cried herself to sleep that night, if she slept at all.

The next morning she woke up with sore eyes and slightly swollen cheeks. She hoped that everything was just a horrible dream but she knew it wasn’t. It was reality.
She just finished breakfast when her phone vibrated on the kitchen table with a text.

I’m in the hotel now. Everything’s fine. I miss you though. H

Her eyes closed briefly and she felt her whole body beginning to tremble.
She tipped back immediately, her fingers shaking so much she missed the right letters.

Can we talk?

She had to tell him. She couldn’t keep this from him.

Now? What’s wrong? Are you okay?


Her phone rung within seconds and even though she knew it would she still jumped at the shrill sound. She took a deep breath and hit the green button, lifting the phone to her cheek.
“Baby? What’s wrong?”
His voice sounded distressed and worried.
A sob interrupted her and she had to brace herself on the kitchen table so she wouldn’t fall down.
“Darling, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”
“H-He kissed m-me.”
Harry was silent, she heard nothing on the other end of the line.
“W-We left the restaurant and the d-dinner was fun a-and we really got along well. He walked me to my car and when he went t-to say goodbye he leaned in b-but instead of kissing me on the cheek h-he… kissed me on the lips.”
It took her forever to get the words out, sobs and hiccups interrupted her every second.
“Did you kiss him back?” Harry asked lowly and she knew that tone.
She heard it so many times before when some bloke tried to hit on her.
“N-No! I pushed him away immediately. He almost fell to the g-ground because I pushed him so hard and then I screamed at him that I have a b-boyfriend and that he shouldn’t do that ever again and left him standing there.”
“That’s my girl.” Harry chuckled after a moment of silence and Y/N couldn’t believe her ears.
“Baby, there’s nothing for you to cry about. You did everything right and I’m very proud of you even though he deserved to fall flat on his ass. I swear if I’d be home right now I’d cut his tongue off so he wouldn’t be able to-”
“You’re not mad?” she interrupted him.
“Not at you. You didn’t do anything wrong. That bloke is lucky though that I’m not home or else I’d rip his legs out. And arms. And everything else.”
Y/N sighed relieved and a small smile took over her lips.
“Thank you. I was so worried you’d be mad at me and break up and-”
“Stop. Seriously, you have to stop with all your doubts. I love you more than anything and I’m not going to leave you. Yeah, I’m not a fan of this break but I think it really is good for us. Everything’s alright, okay? We’ll figure it out when I’m back.”
“Okay.” she whispered.
“Can you do me a favor?” Harry asked then.
“Stay away from that Tom asshole.”
“I don’t care.”
She laughed softly and promised him she wouldn’t go near him.
“I have to go now, love. Think you’re okay?”
“Don’t cry anymore, yeah? It breaks my heart.”
“I’ll try.” she laughed softly.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. See you soon.”
“Very soon.”
When she placed her phone down on the kitchen table she literally felt all the weight lifted off her shoulders. She was still shaking slightly but she knew it was okay now.
She also knew that Harry was probably planning how he could get back at Tim but she didn’t worry about that, Harry couldn’t hurt a fly. She knew he was probably killing that guy in his thoughts right now but that was okay, she was killing him in her imagination as well.
She honestly didn’t think Harry would react that calm. She expected him to say ‘I knew why I wasn’t happy when you told me about him’ or maybe ‘It was so goddamn obvious he would try something’. She even kind of expected him to be so upset and angry he wouldn’t have let her explain but instead hand up immediately.
But he didn’t. And again she noticed that something had changed since they started the break.
If that would have happened before the escalation two weeks ago Harry would have started screaming at her and in the end he would have left the house.
But his reaction showed that he wanted something to change as well. He was hurting too and even though it sounded strange, Y/N was glad. During all those fights and screaming sessions she was scared she was the only one who was breaking inside.
Even though she wasn’t quite sure what would happen when Harry came home she knew they couldn’t be without each other. That break showed them what they could loose. It showed that what they had was unique and special.
And it also showed that the love they had for each other was stronger than anything else. Y/N knew from the beginning that Harry was the love of her life. Harry knew it too, she was the one for him from the first date.
The only thing they were both scared of now was their future. Would it get to that point again where they had to take a break?

The next few days felt strange. The fact that she saw him and talked to him over the phone made her think they would at least text throughout the day but there was nothing. Still radio silence.
And even though it bothered her she didn’t want to text him first. She knew he was busy and had other things to worry about but she at least thought he would give her a little update on how everything was going.
She worried though. She was scared he forgot about her. She was scared he actually enjoyed the break because now that he was with a lot of other people he didn’t have to think about her and maybe he’d realize that he was secretly missing his freedom?

When she saw him on SNL for his first ever live performance of his single she was a crying mess. One, because she missed him so much and still didn’t hear from him and two, because she was so incredibly proud and three, because she stayed awake until the early hours of the morning. He smashed it. He was absolutely perfect.
And she felt so goddamn bad because she wasn’t there waiting from him when he came off the stage. She wasn’t there to kiss all over his face because she was even prouder than his mum. She wasn’t there.
He told her she should stop doubting his love for her but for some reason she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t help but worry when he wasn’t here and she didn’t hear from him and even though she knew that was the purpose of a break, her mind couldn’t do anything else but come up with her worst nightmares and her heart couldn’t help but break.

When she finally wanted to go to sleep she didn’t knew if she should text him. He knew for sure that she would watch it but would he want her to text him? Her fingers hovered over the keyboard of her phone for several minutes until she decided that yes, she had to text him.

You did so good. I’m so incredibly proud of you.xx

She turned her phone off immediately when she hit send so she wouldn’t wait another few hours for his reply and could get some sleep. Even though she probably couldn’t keep her eyes closed.

She got no reply the next day.
And the day after that? Nothing.
And on the third day she was a mess.
Tears sprung to her eyes when she checked her phone for the thousandth time that day and she still didn’t hear anything from him. She knew he was unbelievably, incredibly busy but…
Was she not important anymore?
Did he not want to talk to her?
Or did he just not see it?
Or maybe the little incident with Tim hurt him more than he would like to admit.
Even though Harry told her she should stop worrying she couldn’t. He made it pretty hard to.
If she wouldn’t have seen his face all over social media and on tv she wouldn’t have known he was still alive during the next week. She felt like she went back in time to the first week of being without him, whenever she had a free moment her mind would immediately wander to him.
Then it was all a blur. It was like she was numb. She didn’t know if she should feel angry or sad or maybe happy because he would be home in a few days. The truth was that she didn’t feel anything.
He told her she could call or text him anytime she felt the need to and to be honest she did need him more than anything but she didn’t try to reach out for him. He didn’t respond to her congratulating him, why should he respond to anything else?

When the fourth week of their break was over he didn’t come home. She knew he’d return that day but he wasn’t there yet. And he probably wouldn’t come. He didn’t tell her when he would land, didn’t ask her to pick him up, didn’t tell her he would come home straight away.
And he didn’t.
She spend another night in the bed they once shared alone. Without him. Without any sort of communication between them.

A loud noise woke her up the next morning, followed by a muttered ‘shit’. Her heart started to pound, her eyes frankly searching for something to defend herself. She got out of bed on shaky legs, grabbing Harry’s golf club which stood beside the drawer. She made her way out of the bedroom and down the stairs on tip toes, making sure she didn’t make any sound.
When she saw the all too familiar suede boots at the front door she knew she didn’t have to defend herself. At least not her body but more her heart. She placed the golf club down on the floor and made her way to the kitchen where she was greeted by a sight which used to make her tummy fill with butterflies but now she was feeling nervous in the most negative way.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked and was surprised herself at how cold her voice sounded.
Harry whirled around and stopped draping berries on the waffles he made, his eyes were wide with shock and his mouth agape.
“I-I wanted to surprise you. I made breakfast and-”
She interrupted him with a humorless laugh, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Surprise me? I think you’ve surprised me enough lately.”
“What?” he asked with furrowed brows.
“I was surprised when I didn’t hear from you at all during the last two weeks, nothing to keep me updated. I was surprised when I texted you and didn’t get a reply. I was surprised when you didn’t let me know when you came home. I was surprised when you didn’t come home as soon as you left the airport.”
Harry was standing there completely dumbfounded, suddenly feeling insecure about what he prepared for her. He had no idea what was going on, thought she would jump into his arms as soon as she saw him. He thought she would love the flowers he brought her and the breakfast he prepared. That wasn’t the case, apparently.
“You… I… What?” he asked again.
“I don’t know if I want to see you right now, Harry.”

anonymous asked:

Will we ever get a Luro kiss from you and your gorgeous art??? (I adore every single one of your drawings btw) ❤❤❤

Ooooh ohohoho you’ll get so much more than this, believe me :D

But I want to take my time with their relationship. I got so many ideas for how their bromance slowly escalates… And I’m in desperate need of shoving every single one of them into my time-line… So please be patient with me. ❤ you’ll get all the Luro-kisses you want xD

anonymous asked:

So many people always say how jealous they would be and how they'd be so upset if Shawn got a girlfriend etc. But honestly that's all I want for him, to be happy. Really happy. And I don't get why some people think that he shouldn't be, that he should stay single, or never kiss anyone in public. If we really support him shouldn't we want him to find love and be fulfilled? To have someone to alleviate some of the stresses and pressure put on him everyday? I think he should, I hope he does.

I’ve said this so many times before but I can’t wait for Shawn to fall in love. I can’t wait for him to give his heart fully to someone and to be loved in a kind of way he’s never tried before. I can’t wait to see his big smile and hear those love songs about her. I can’t wait for him to feel those feelings people write books about. 

I think whenever Shawn does go public with a girlfriend this entire fandom is going to spilt in two. The people hating her and the people supporting Shawn. My biggest wish would be for us all to just take a fucking seat, respect the girl who won Shawn’s heart and let him be happy but my mind just knows better. Sadly. 

Poem for my Girl

I want.
I need.
I miss.
I grieve.
I only want you by my side forever.
I cry.
I lie.
I’m dead
But you’re the only one that can lift my spirits higher.
When we’re apart
My heart can’t stop
Tearing itself to the wind.
Because all i want
Is your love, that’s enough
And thankfully, i’ve got many ♥
My dearest McKenzie
I love you so maybe
You’d consider me to be your best friend
Aside from the fact that we kiss and all that
You should know you’re the one i want.

I love youuuuu @mckenna-undertale
I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

anonymous asked:

fmk - farida, layne, darius


&&.      “ ‘m not ‘bout to kill any of these people ‘cause i like ‘em – well, darius sometimes makes me wanna N O T, but we’ve got too many memories for me to wanna off ‘em. i’d marry far ‘cause honestly who wouldn’t ? i mean, i know her heart’s in grif’s hands, but maybe we can be one of those polyamorous couples or somethin’. ‘d kiss layne ‘cause it would be a B A D idea if we went there, ‘m tryin’ my best to stay away so we’re gonna leave it at a kiss. i guess ‘mma have to fuck darius – not that he was lousy or anythin’, he’s got that magic touch if ya’ know what i mean, but ‘d wanna be drunk while doin’ it.

I can see it now
  • Phil: Dan! I got the game! *holds it up*
  • Dan: *sees its just dance 2* What? Why? There are so many better options.
  • Phil: But this one has Toxic by Britney Spears!
  • Dan: . . . are you joking?
  • Phil: Come on you're the one who said we should just be more obvious little by little. Another step would be dancing to the phandoms anthem.
  • Dan: I hate the Internet. *kisses Phil* Fine...
  • Phil: :D *takes off*
  • Dan: Don't you dare practice!

Due to the overwhelming Rainbow Direction support for the OTRA Gilette show, we will be posting a seperate throwback post for Boston!

“Last night’s Rainbow Direction experience was fantastic! Started by handing out bracelets to the crew from KiSS FM 92.5  They loved the message that Rainbow Direction is trying to send, and were eager to each wear a bracelet.  :D  (…) After the show we spotted all sorts of RD participants!  I handed out bracelets to as many as I could.  (came home with only a few left!)  The participants were so approachable and kind!“ 

            @sterlingirl31, OTRA Toronto

“I got at least a dozen compliments on my shirt - I was wearing my Safe Spaces rainbow heart shirt. Which made me feel a lot better about myself, since I was sitting alone for this concert.”

            @thephysicsofstandingstill, OTRA Chicago

“I brought my ace flag to this show, which I was a bit nervous about. I’m glad I did though! 100percentsassy posted a picture of me with it on tumblr before the show last night, and when I got into the stadium I had a message from someone thanking me for bringing it & I just started crying. It was truly such a beautiful moment and I’m so grateful for that individual for sharing their story with me.”

             @thephysicsofstandingstill​, OTRA Milwaukee

“A group of folks applauded our rainbows as we made our way to the floor and up to the catwalk. THANK YOU KIND FOLKS! (…)  When Liam was reading signs aloud and everyone was holding theirs aloft, we realized quickly he (and the cameras) was looking elsewhere and flipped our signs so that that rainbows faced the stadium instead of the stage. It was a heartwarming #PRIDE moment for us.”  

             @juliusschmidt, OTRA Clevealand

“I was sitting alone and therefore a little nervous about how my blatant rainbows would be taken. I walked around with the flag draped over my shoulders and got quite a few thank yous as well as a few shouts and cheers of, “Rainbow Direction!!!” which made me feel much better. (…)  The other was a girl made her way through the rather large crowd and against the flow to come and say how much she loved my outfit. She and her girlfriend almost made me cry because they were so young and so happy to be at the concert, holding hands openly. It was so beautiful. I luckily had some extra safe spaces hearts printed so I was able to give them one.”

             @lululawrence, OTRA Cleveland 

“so we headed over to Gate A and as soon as I got there we found two girls who were also in Rainbow Direction. I had my giant Rainbow Pride Flag and was probably easy to notice. we waiting and eventually found three more girls and we all talked for a while, swapped twitters and took a picture.”

             @strongertogetherx​, OTRA DETROIT 

“the rainbows were strong in detroit, and it was so beautiful seeing the community we were able to be a part of there.  thank you for everyone who came and talked to us, or even sent us a small smile!  we appreciate you, too!” 

              @lululawrence, OTRA Cleveland

“I’m not ready to share my full LGBTQ+ story yet. Some people already know it, but some in my life will judge me by it, and I’m not ready for that yet. I’m not brave like those teenage girls. But one day I will be. And it’s because of a teeny bopper band and a group called Rainbow Direction, 1D fans, who created safe spaces for people like me.” 

            @quietfan09​, OTRA Philadelphia

“But last night was the first time in a long time that all of my worries about my sexuality went away. Because when Harry held up that rainbow flag proudly, I saw someone that I look up to and that truly inspires me every day SUPPORTING ME.“

            @larriestagramm​, OTRA Buffalo

“the thing is i’m an adult and i’d like to think as a person i’m fairly out and proud, i’ve been involved in lots of lgbt organizations up to being in positions of leadership so this isn’t new to me but its STILL. SO. SCARY. and i felt very alienated and obvious and i spent a lot of time wandering around the stadium so i didn’t have to sit in my section and feel even MORE isolated and scared.  and then he held that fucking rainbow flag and IMMEDIATELY i KNEW that i wasnt alone and from that moment on i was not afraid, and thats not to say that i’ll never feel scared to be myself ever again but i was kicked out of my house and bullied and harassed and spent so much of my life being so scared to even wear a shirt with a rainbow on it and for him to take that fear away for even that brief period of time was one of the greatest gifts he could have given me, and if that’s how i feel i can’t even imagine what this feels like for all the kids out there who are still stuck in that place of almost constant fear and doubt.”

             @fireforaheartt​, OTRA Buffalo

“Some people still struggle with who they are and who they like and just to see that their idol supports them must feel so good and it makes me very happy that Harry was once again able to show publicly his support to the LGBTQIA community. 🌈”

             @braidsfeatstyles, OTRA Montreal

“i love the work RD is doing. thank you because this means so much for a person like me. i’ve had so many drastic changes in my life lately and i’ve lost so many friends because of it and this makes me feel a bit like home. like i’m not alone and like i’ll be okay. 🌈 “

             @loopdelouis​, OTRA Montreal

“we skipped icona pop, and ashes-and-dust, painting–words and i gave out some pamphlets for rainbow direction before taking our seats. which was very nerve-racking (at least so i felt) but every time someone lit up (especially the younger kids), the satisfaction made up for the nerves. good thing painting–words she had them because mine were forgotten at home.”

             @loopdelouis​, OTRA Ottawa

“my favorite thing about otra Boston last night was when all the rainbow direction people were all together and spreading so much love we all got super emotional and group hugged. I love this fandom so much ❤️💛💚💙💜”

             @officialslayrah​, OTRA Boston 

Thank you North America!

A little under two since the Boston closed off the OTRA North America tour leg came to an end, we want to relive the second half of these amazing two months with you! We look back to 24 shows with 1648 participants, with all the colors of the rainbow! Amazing! Such a strong and visible message to bring to places that were partly new to both One Drection as well as the Rainbow Direction campaign. If you have pictures, videos, gifs or concert reports please share them! (tag them ‘rainbow direction’ so we can find them)

Find more pictures and concert reports here:

Columbus | Toronto | Chicago | Milwaukee | Cleveland | Detroit | Philadelphia | Buffalo | Montreal | Ottawa | Boston