If you’re looking for smut, keep scrolling; only GD angst/fluff here~
You double-checked the article you’d read that told you when your boyfriend would be appearing on TV. Jiyong had left for a while to do ‘shooting’, except he hadn’t told you exactly what he was starring in.
‘Be sure to catch G-Dragon on your TV screen at 9pm next week!’ the article read in big, bold letters. You checked the time. It was 9pm, it was the right day, everything was right. You flicked through various channels on your remote, biting your lip in anticipation. Until you caught sight of your boyfriend grinning cutely to a presenter.
You put the remote on the table and rested your chin in your hands. Leaning forward towards the screen, you saw that the show title was 'We Got Married.’ You froze. Your blood ran cold, and you felt a shiver run through you. Oh.
“G-Dragon, are you excited to meet your beautiful bride-to-be?” the presenter laughed heartily.
Jiyong smiled politely. “I am,” he replied.
You drummed your fingers impatiently on the table in front of you, waiting for this mystery idol to be revealed. You bit your lip harder, but more in anxiety than excitement this time.
An all-too-familiar young woman stepped into the room Jiyong was in. You saw Jiyong’s eyes light up at the sight of her, and gulped. It was none other than SNSD’s Kim Taeyeon. She looked stunning, as usual, wearing a pretty pastel skirt and cute shirt.
As soon as she entered the studio, Jiyong stood up and bowed. He took her hand in his and shook it. The presenter said something loud and obnoxious, which you couldn’t hear. You were only focusing on the way Taeyeon’s fingers were beginning to intertwine with Jiyong’s, and the way Jiyong’s eyes connected with hers.
You wanted to turn off the TV there and then, but something made you keep watching. You remained fairly motionless for the rest of the episode, staring blankly at the fun activites Jiyong and Taeyeon were up to. You barely flinched through it all, from their shy café date to moving into their new house.
When the programme finished, you returned to your bedroom and climbed onto your bed. You lay down over the covers and let the endless thoughts run around in your head. How could Jiyong agree to be on a show like this? Why did he look as happy as he did? Had he forgotten all about you? Did Taeyeon bring him more happiness than you ever had?
You ran a hand through your hair and sighed sadly. Your phone buzzed. You ignored it, and turned over on your side. Your phone buzzed again. And again. And again. After a minute, you checked who had been contacting you. You pressed the 'on’ button of your phone lazily. Jiyong - 6 new messages. Jiyong - 3 missed calls.
You smiled to yourself wistfully, and threw your phone face down onto the carpeted floor. You reached for the light, and fell asleep.
The next day, you woke up to yet more messages and missed calls from Jiyong. You ignored them, and began to get ready for the day. On your way back from your daily grocery trip, you remembered: Jiyong had never told you how long he would be shooting for. Did he really not care about you enough? Had he planned to run away with Taeyeon and live his happy idol life with her?
You guessed you should probably check your messages for updates on Jiyong’s return. You laughed to yourself silently. He would never know this feeling. He would never have to deal with his girlfriend running off with an idol. It’s not like you were famous like him, or got attention like him.
He would never be sitting at home for days, worrying about what you were doing with another idol, or fighting the never ending thoughts and bottled up feelings and theories that arose every night, and all day.
You looked down at your grocery bag, and saw that several holes had formed in the weak plastic. You unclenched your fist, and realised your frustration and confusion were the cause of them.
When you got home, you dropped your bag on the floor and dragged yourself to the kitchen to make some well-needed coffee. Usually, Jiyong would’ve made you your coffee by the time you’d returned from the shop.
After about half an hour of absent-mindedly staring at the TV screen and sipping at your now cold coffee, you heard the doorbell ring twice. Getting up slowly, you shuffled over to the door and answered it.
Jiyong stood in front of you, leaning on the doorframe, and presenting you with a dazzling grin. “Hey, Y/N!” He pulled you into a tight hug, and rocked you from side to side. “I got a break from filming, so I thought I’d come say hi,” he smiled, and walked in.
You tried to think of something to say, but no words could escape your mouth.
Jiyong cocked his head to the side. “Are you okay?” He placed his hands on your shoulders and looked directly in your eyes. “You didn’t answer any of my calls or messages… I was getting worried.”
Then, right then, something snapped inside of you. “You were worried?” you muttered scornfully. “Think about who was more worried when they saw their boyfriend in the arms of another girl!”
Jiyong looked taken aback. He blinked in confusion. “I… I didn’t mean,” he began.
“Say whatever you want. I’ve had to sit at home in the background, watching you two act like a perfect couple, and have fun and flirt the whole time.” You crossed your arms and looked away from Jiyong.
“You know it’s not real, Y/N! It’s for the press!” Jiyong argued.
You turned your back on Jiyong and sulked. This wasn’t fair that he was allowed to do whatever he wanted, go on any show he wanted, tease other girls whenever he wanted.
After a few moments, you heard footsteps walking towards the door. “Fine. If you really have this little faith in me, perhaps Taeyeon would make a better girlfriend,” Jiyong said. It wasn’t angry, or mocking. His words had no emotion.
You heard the door slam shut, and felt your breath hitch as tears began to make their way down your cheeks. What had you thought would happen? That Jiyong would apologise and take you into his arms and say everything was alright?
9pm. You bit your lip, contemplating whether or not to turn on the TV. Your hand reached for the remote, and your finger hovered over the power button. Without thinking, you pressed it, and, sure enough, Jiyong’s grinning face returned.
He was running his hands through his hair and taking deep breaths for the camera. “I’m nervous,” he said softly to the interviewer. “It’ll be our first proper date.”
They then switched to Taeyeon. She tossed her beautiful blonde curls and smiled. “I’m not sure what to expect from Jiyong, to be honest,” she said politely.
The camera showed both idols seated at a café table, enjoying cups of coffee and pieces of cake. Taeyeon used her finger to wipe a piece of icing off Jiyong’s cheek, and you shivered.
The soundtrack to a famous romance drama played in the background, and there were close-ups of Jiyong and Taeyeon’s faces. A heartbeat sound effect was playing as pretty pink captions adorned the scene.
You clutched at your arms nervously, and knew what was coming, from hours of watching We Got Married with other idols. After a lot of slow motion and sparkles, Jiyong brought his face close to Taeyeon’s. They looked into each other’s eyes, before Jiyong touched his lips to hers gently.
The moment was replayed again and again. Before you vomited, you quickly switched off the TV. What had you done? Maybe if you hadn’t got mad at Jiyong, he would’ve stayed with you, and wouldn’t have kissed Taeyeon just then. This was all your fault. You didn’t deserve someone like Jiyong. He deserved so much better.
For this week’s episode of We Got Married, since international star G-Dragon was starring on it, they had decided to film the wedding scene LIVE, to bring in more viewers.
No matter where you looked, he was there. You went to your local coffee shop to get away from it all, yet there he was, on the television, hand in hand with Taeyeon. You looked up at it reluctantly, downing your coffee as quickly as possible.
Jiyong was dressed in a smart, flattering suit, and Taeyeon looked utterly beautiful in her stunning white dress. Your eyes were glued to the screen as Taeyeon took Jiyong’s hands in hers.
“Let’s live a good life together,” she giggled cutely. “I… really like you.” The audience whistled and applauded.
Jiyong smiled and nodded. “And I…” There was silence for a while, and the light left Jiyong’s eyes. He sighed. “I can’t say the same, Taeyeon. I’m sorry. Forgive me, but… I’m in love with someone else.” He looked directly into the camera, at you, it seemed. “Y/N, I’m sorry. Will you take me back?”
Your heart sped up in your chest, and a smile grew on your face as your felt yourself tear up. “Of course I will,” you whispered to yourself, picking up your stuff and rushing home, not bothering to hear what anyone else had to say about the matter.
When you returned, you saw a confused-looking Jiyong standing at the door, looking through a window. You tapped him on the back and wrapped your arms around him.
“How long have you been here?” you asked.
“Long enough to stop the press from running after me,” Jiyong laughed. He took your hands in his and pressed his lips to yours, with so much more love and compassion than the one with Taeyeon.
“Oh, Jiyong, I’m so sorry,” you sighed, wiping away your tears from under your eyes. You took out your keys and unlocked the door.
“No, I’m the one that should be sorry for putting you through something like that. I only hope you can forgive me?” Jiyong replied hopefully.
You smiled against his suit jacket. “Of course I can, you know that. You mean more to me than anything else on Earth.”
Jiyong looked into your eyes before scooping you up bridal-style and carrying you into the house, closing the door behind you.
(Rant) Jia and Tao 'We Got Married' Incident & My Opinion
As many of you know, BNT International Magazine released it’s August issue featuring miss A’s Jia. Jia looked stunning in the pictures and wowed not only Say A’s but many K-pop fans. BNT also had an interview with Jia to get to know her more. They asked plenty of questions, but one in answer in particular stood out.
When the interviewer asked what programs Jia would like to be in, Jia said “ Either ‘Running Man’ or ’We Got Married’. I would like to do 'Running Man’ as I like Lee Kwang Soo, and for 'We Got Married’, I think it would be fun if I did it with Exo’s Tao.”
The second I read that last sentence, I knew Jia would get hate. Every time you mention Exo with either a female idol/actress, 'fans’ go mental. The reason I’m saying 'fans’ is because I’m not including the whole Exo fandom. This is in no way an attack/diss on the Exo fandom. I’m saying certain 'fans’ of Exo are completely out of their mind.
After the article of Jia went out online, I checked her Instagram account for comments. Now this is what made me furious.
THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!! How dare you say such words to Jia. Matter of fact, how dare you write that about someone all together! That is disrespectful, disgusting and upsetting. Imagine Jia reading that, imagine how upset she would be.
If you have either followed me for a while you would know that Jia is my ultimate bias and she has helped me overcome many things in my life. So to see this hate she is getting is horrible! What really annoys me is that Jia said nothing wrong!
LOOK AT WHAT SHE SAID!! She said it would be fun. Yet all these stupid people decide she is in love with him. It make’s no sense. Even if you go on Jia’s Instagram, you can see Say A’s and 'Fans’ of Exo fighting each other. There is no point!
Jia and Tao are very good friends. Jia and Tao are also in 'The China Line’ so that;s why it’s easier for them to talk to each other. There are many pictures of Jia and Tao together, either at events or with friends and there was barley any hate.
Even when Tao invited Jia and Fei to Exo’s first concert, Jia put up a picture on Instagram and there was no hate!
The comments were 'I love JiaTao’, 'I want Jia and Tao together’, 'Jia and Tao would make a cute couple’. Yet when Jia wants to film a show with him it ends up being a fanwar.
I understand that 'We Got Married’ would mean that Jia and Tao would be a 'couple’ and get married and maybe even kiss. But it’s not the end of the world! Jia probably said Tao because they are good friends not because she loves him.
I personally love seeing Jia and Tao together, but it’s sad to think if they ever were a couple the amount of hate Jia would get. I mean when Taeyeon from SNSD was revealed to be dating Exo’s Baekhyun, Taeyeon got so much hate she left Instagram for 2 months! That is horrible.
My point of this rant is that so called 'fans’ need to learn that your idols are human beings and you need to treat them with respect. You need to get out of your head that your going to marry your bias and live in the real world. You should be happy when you see your bias dating, it means they are happy, why would you ruin that. I love Yesung from SJ, but I know I will never be with him. I want him to date so he can be happy. That’s all I wish for my bias.
Jia, do not believe what those people are saying. You are an amazing person, inside and out. Those people are jealous of your fame, looks or even both. Say A’s will always be there for you and we love you so much.
Tao is my bias in Exo. I will also support you till the end and I hope when you do find someone, you ignore the hate and be happy.
As I said before, this is not an attack on the Exo fandom. Many Exo-L’s were defending Jia on Instagram and saying sorry for other fans.
But there were still 'fans’ that say they love Exo, yet when a girl is involved they must 'protect their oppa’s.
So that was my rant, I hope you agree with what I’m saying. What do you think about the situation? Did it get out of hand?
Thank you for reading and I hope I made myself clear.
“Huang ZiTao?! Who is Huang ZiTao!?!?” your best friend screeched as you cupped your hand over your gaping mouth.
You snatched the marriage certificate from her hands to take a closer look. Perhaps, it was fake…perhaps…
With every word you read, your heart mercilessly drummed faster and faster against your chest. But you wouldn’t – couldn’t believe it.
“Young Lady! You have some explaining to do!!” Sojin demanded as your body lost its strength. You slid down the wall and huddled over in mixed emotions of bewilderment, confusion, and guilt. “You got married?!”
I don’t know.
“Why did you not tell me anything?!!?”
I don’t know. I don’t know.
Excessive oxygen raided your lungs as you surrendered to hyperventilation. Unforgivingly, Sojin grabbed your shoulders and physically shook you for answers. The scar along your bandaged heart unstitched itself and spilt of fresh blood.
“I don’t know. I don’t know!” you repeated as you cradled your head in between your lap.
“What do you mean you don’t know. You either got married or you didn’t! You’re an adult, how do you not know?!” your best friend scolded.
Flashbacks of the fateful night scampered into your defenseless mind. The way he caught you before you fell, the way he bundled you up with his jacket, the way he squeezed your hand in reassurance. The way…his lips trailed down your body or the way his skin pressed against yours…everything. Everything slowly unraveled itself from a heart you thought had accepted its fate and had mended itself over time.
But marriage? You didn’t have a single memory of the moment.
“Answer me!” Sojin ruthlessly ordered but softened as soon as she heard a hint of your suppressed sniffles. Hey…” she coaxed. You pressed your face deeper into your guard. “I…I didn’t mean to yell at you, I’m just worried,” she stroked your back. “I am your best friend, I want to protect you,” she explained as she threw her arms around your uncontrollably trembling form.
“I know…I know…” you choked on your tears.
Patting your head, Sojin encouraged you to spill the whole story.
“Wait. Wait, so he took advantage of you and just left?!” she exclaimed.
Immediately, you shook your head in firm denial. “He said he had an emergency.”
“Emergency?!” your best friend scoffed, “It’s been a whole month. If he wanted to find you, he would have!” Your head dropped low in accordance to your heart, which stooped even further. Rolling up her sleeves she stood up and announced, “I’m gonna find this guy and break his face!”
“Wa-wait!” you cried and pulled her back down. “I…” you stuttered, “It’s my fault.”
“Oh, no you don’t with your self-blaming tendencies,” she knowingly cautioned.
“I honestly didn’t know that we got married,” you internally reprimanded yourself.
“Did he not mention it the morning after?” Sojin’s tone softened with sympathy.
Clutching your throbbing chest, you shook your head. As the older female parted her lips to respond, the door squeaked open and in came a group of your girl friends rushing the two of you to the engagement party. With the squeeze of your hand, Sojin pulled you up onto your feet.
Another week passed and though your best friend was adamant about hiring a private investigator to find your husband, you cowered away and, instead, chose to avoid, or otherwise you liked to sugarcoat and say “leave it up to fate.” And the best way to forget and heal was also the most cliché way – to dive straight into work.
The clock ticked away time. Fluorescent lamps blinked above you as the morning sun gradually eased its way to the peak of the sky. Typing diligently away, you vaguely heard the conversation a few cubicles down regarding the aging chairman falling ill.
“Ah, what will happen? What will happen?! Will the company file for bankruptcy?!” a colleague feared.
“What?! I can’t lose my job. I have a grandparents, parents, aunts, and uncles to feed!” another wheezed as she sipped her hot chocolate.
“Hah. You gossip girls,” the manager slapped a manila folder against their desk, “Even if the boss dies, the company will just get passed down to his sons. Now get back to work or I’ll personally hand out pink slips!”
Gasping, the crowd dispersed back to their rightful desks. Minutes passed and then hours. You typed up reports like chopping wood. Chop. Chop. Chop. Always chopping at tree branches and trunks but never getting to the root of the problem. With a deep sigh, you rolled your aching neck and stretched your arms out wide in celebration for completing another difficult report.
But your momentary jubilation subsided as a shadow casted across your pile of paperwork. Raising your head up, you faced the excessively sweetened grin of your co-worker, Amy.
“Hm?” you blinked and poked your black-rimmed glasses back against the bridge of your nose.
She laced your name with oozes of honey enough to cause diabetes had it been concrete. “It’s my boyfriend and my first anniversary today…” the young secretary informed as she dreamily hugged the folders in her arms. When you continued to blankly stare at her, she cleared her throat and reasoned, “You don’t have a boyfriend so no one books your schedule…so…” her voice faded as she discreetly placed the files onto your desk while gingerly eyeing you for your reaction.
Your eyes trailed to the poker card clipped to the side of your keyboard. As if someone had taken a needle and stitched on your smile, your smile bled of 80% longing and 20% self-reprimanding.
“Please! Pretty please. He’s waiting downstairs already,” the female changed her tactics and though your mind told you to veer away from your pushover inducing actions, your compassionate heart fell for her act.
Because even if you couldn’t find happiness, you wanted to grant others theirs.
“Okay,” you nodded and took the folder from her hands.
“Thank you! Thank you! I owe you one!” she cheered. As she sprinted away, she vowed, “I’ll bring you to speed dating to find you a boyfriend next time!!”
Shaking your head, you skimmed the reports and refocused back to the computer screen. Pages flipped; the minute hand revolved around its circular imprisonment once, twice, three times…Massaging your stiff shoulders, you lifted your cup at a 45 degree angle to reawaken yourself with some caffeine but only a tiny droplet landed onto the tip of your tongue. Empty.
As you got up to refill your mug, you scanned the perimeter; screen savers played on monitor screens, chairs half pushed into desks. Just as empty. The clock read half passed two. Ah. Lunch hour. Normally, you’d stay behind to continue the data entry reports, especially when you had to complete another person’s share too, but today, your stomach felt a bit queasy. You pressed your tummy when it growled.
“Um, a Tuna, Egg, Avocado sandwich and an espresso please,” you ordered at the company cafeteria.
As you scanned around for an open seat, your eyes landed on the isolated ray of sunlight gleaming through the glass windows and casting a hazy halo along the polished wood floors. Like a crystal wall, magical and shimmery, it presented you with the satisfaction of enjoying the sunny day amidst frost even though work prohibited you from the outdoors. Perhaps, it was a good thing to be sheltered and protected.
“To go or eating here?” the waitress inquired, breaking you from your self-induced vacillation.
Having taken your lunch break late, all the tables were either reserved or taken. With a discreet sigh, you replied, “To go,” retrieved the paper bag and your coffee, and reluctantly headed for the elevator. However, like a juggle of fate versus intuition, a cloud maneuvered its way over, veering God’s ray to the spot, about ten feet from your toes. Mesmerized by the fairytale-like enchantment, you followed the path, stopping only when the beam of light illuminated the silhouette of two men. Automatically, your attention zoned to the young man on the left.
Your world stopped.
Tall, dark, and handsome. Every time he laughed, his eyes sparked flames as dangerous as a Devil’s but radiated an unfathomable glow of ambiguous vulnerability. His hair, silky smooth, was gelled up to perfectly ease your attention back to his gorgeous face.
Your heart floated in its own pool of agony. Every inch of your being pulsated in a mixture of unexplainable emotions. Not now. Not now. Why now? Seconds felt like decades as you began to habitually question your own observations. Perhaps, a look-a-like? Perhaps, you missed him too much or insomnia had finally taken full control of your mentality? But those sharp flickers in his eyes told you otherwise. You couldn’t believe it; you thought you’d never see this man ever again. Was God handing you another chance at happiness?
Situated into a stiff paralysis, you could only wait, like a caught prey, for the predator’s advancement. Round orbs moistened over in a flash of distilled liquid and lips parted to call out to him but ultimately, recoiled back at his reaction or lack thereof. His broad shoulder brushed passed you in absolute nonchalance, in his journey, also taking away the smile on your face. As your heart counted down the seconds before its own collapse, the strength in your limbs vanished. Inevitably, your fingers loosened its grip around your coffee, sending it splashing down onto the wooden tiles, some of it rebounding to scald the side of your unprotected legs.
Tao, who had been entertaining one of his clients, halted in his tracks. His habit of pulling all-nighters exchanged for symptoms of delayed recognition.
“ZiTao?” the older man called out after moments of nonresponse.
With arched brows, the handsome man whirled his head around in earnest hopes that God had finally answered his prayers to see you again. But crushed and self-blaming, you had already rushed away from the scene – away from the man you thought no longer remembered you – or perhaps, even worse, recognized but disregarded you.
“ZiTao?” his client waved his hand in front of Tao as he pushed pass him and frantically dashed back to the cafeteria but all that remained were the remnants of spilled over coffee.
“ZiTao? Is everything okay?” the man worriedly questioned after catching up.
“Ye-yeah…” Tao stuttered. Pinching his pulsing glabella, he murmured, “I must miss her too much.” With a coerced smile, he apologized and motioned for a waiter to clean up the mess.
Uncaring to your destination as long as it wasn’t stagnant in front of the man who had stolen your heart, you ran, as fast as possible, into an elevator that went opposite to the direction of your department. The side of your calves stung from the previous heat exposure but nothing could compare to the ache in your center, thriving organ.
What did you expect? It was one night…
You pushed on the elevator buttons.
Just like miracles, you believed in love at first sight and happy endings, just, you didn’t believe it would ever happen to you.
Still half shaking, you stumbled your way back to your desk. Three glass fulls of water emptied into your stomach in efforts to calm yourself down. It’s okay. It’s okay. You hadn’t expected anything from him anyway. Might as well find out that he no longer cared and end this now rather than later.
As the water hydrated your cells and organs, the beating of your heart quieted down to a whisper.
“It’s okay now. There’s nothing to let go if he wasn’t…” you breathed, “…wasn’t mine to begin with…”
The tips of your fingers grazed the glossy surface of the poker card.
It’s okay. Smiling sadly, you reluctantly flipped the Queen of Hearts over. You felt so weak to be hurting over something so miniscule – something so miniscule that whomever you shared the story with would probably roll their eyes. “People just don’t fall in love in one day,” others would say, “It was simply because he was your first and forever will be just a one-night-stand.”
As you took a series of cautious deep breaths, the excruciating burn in the depths of your heart subsided to a lesser pain, like needles pricking on the outer tissue layers, bearable but nonetheless lethal over time.
Staring off into the distance, you mindlessly nibbled at your late afternoon meal. Lack-luster. The tuna tasted too watery, egg too bland, and even the avocado sent your stomach into a whirlwind. Eventually, you surrendered to your lack of appetite and returned back to work.
Employees piled back one by one but time seemed to fly by just as fast. As fluorescent lights flicked off to yield the glory back to the stars in the night sky, you spun your head around to soundlessly absorb in the solitude. So calming. So beautiful… The moon faded into a semi-crescent, just like that night of love. Maybe, this was God’s way of granting you closure. Unknown to you, just five stories apart, Tao peered into the same moon, longing for your presence and thinking the same forlorn thoughts as you.
“Boss! I found her!” his subordinate rushed through his office door without the need to knock nor perform formal greetings.
Tao swiveled around in his chair, sprinted forward, and snatched the papers, detailing your credentials, schedule, and whereabouts, from the man’s hand. The latter jolted back in shock at his boss’s uncharacteristic actions. Ignoring his stare, Tao flipped through page after page. A heartfelt smile tickled along his thin lips as soon as he pinpointed a photo of you attach to your resume.
“It’s her,” he asserted, his voice filled with utter emotions, “It’s really her. She has glasses on, but it’s her,” he breathed, “I recognize those round eyes. Only…only she has those beautiful eyes.” His vision clouded in liquid and salt. “I finally found you.”
A/N: So, what do you guys think of this story so far? ʕ≧㉨≦ʔ So quiet on Panda Island compared to my previous stories. Did I take too long of a break that you guys don’t remember me anymore? ʕ´•㉨•`ʔ
Well, unlike most of my stories, this one gives you glimpses of Tao’s POV. Do you guys enjoy that more or more so one it’s only the girl’s POV?
Comment, Like, Reblog, Follow, Spam my inbox. I update a new chapter everyday :)