we go back in october

quick guide to a hung parliament

hokay so i realise some of you may have actually had lives the last time we had a hung parliment (7 years ago!), unlike 15 yo me who watched it unfold like a hawk, so here’s a quick guide to what it is and what happens now. share it with your friends, family, etc

WHAT IS A HUNG PARLIMENT?

A hung parliament is where the party with the most votes doesn’t have an “overall majority” nor “overall control of the house” - i.e. enough seats to pass legislation without it being blocked by other parties. The conservatives needed 326 seats to be able to do whatever the fuck they wanted - however they only have 318 (unless they win Kensington, which is currently undergoing a third recount).

WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

What happens now is the Conservatives have to reach out to other parties to try and form a coalition - they make compromises and trades with other parties so they then have a ruling overall majority. Here’s the likelyhood of that happening with the main parties:

SNP - lolno. Nicola Sturgeon would rather live in England than go into coalition with the Tories.

Labour - definitely not. May would never touch Corbyn’s gardening-calloused hands. Who knows what kinds of jam he’s made with those hands.

Lib Dems - unlikely, but possible. The Lib Dems have explicitly said no coalitions - they remember how the Tories treated them last time they were there (i.e. they blamed all the failings on the lib dems, lib dems lost almost all their seats next election). But then again, the Lib Dems are known to u-turn, so watch this space.

Plaid Cymru - unlikely. Plaid are not likely to agree, but then again they pulled that stunt with Ukip back in the Assembly elections to unseat Labour. Even so, they don’t have enough seats to create a working majority

Sinn Fein - lolno. Sinn Fein wouldn’t piss on the union if it were on fire.

Greens - highly unlikely. The greens are loveable hippies whilst the conservatives barely know what a flipflop is. In addition, they only have one seat - not enough for a ruling majority.

Democratic Unionist Party - likely. This is probably the best bet for the conservatives, but there is a caveat - A) they will probably want to compromise on a hard Brexit due to their ties with Ireland, and B) the Conservatives would have to pretend they remembered NI was part of the union.

WHAT HAPPENS IF THE CONSERVATIVES ARE TOLD TO TAKE A HIKE?

-May can call for a confidence vote in a minority Tory party - meaning she can ask parliment to approve the conservatives to rule without an overall majority. If they’ve been told to fuck off, this is highly unlikely to succeed.

-If May cannot loses the confidence vote, she must step down. This means Corbyn can have a crack at organizing a government. The SNP have shown interest in a minority Labour-SNP coalition, but Corbyn is not thrilled by the concept.

-If Corbyn also loses a confidence vote then we go back to the polls! We’ll have another early election around October time.

2

Well, we go back in October, and I’m finishing a movie called Domino. But that’s when the fun starts. And I think this season is going to take about 4,000 years to shoot. I’ll probably retire when it’s done. [Laughs] No, I have a few things I’ll be getting into. I will be busy. I hope I don’t die in Episode One of Season Eight, but who knows?

547. Once Remus told Lily he was a werewolf, she spent months trying to perfect wolfsbane potion for him.
California messy.
Sheets pulled aside
like a sleeping tide,
and the yellow sun winks at us
through the blinds.
Backyard citrus trees,
the smell of fresh lemon balm
on a white kitchen counter;
the coffee mug my mouth
comes home to
and the stale molasses cookies
in the cupboard.
We go to work.
We come back home.
This is our October comfort.
Cross-stitched cotton sweaters,
tangerine peels in the trash.
Witches at the front door with freckles
and mummies with a sweet tooth.
Your laundry mixing with mine.
Caterpillars hanging on low branches,
lizards in the cool shade.
 
I wish there was a way to remember this;
to softly tell myself in my sleep,
‘This is important,
this is so important,
I hope you’re paying attention.’
—  Schuyler Peck, Every Passing Day is Still Something