we don't need you to change anything

The Party part 16/?

K: …

L: …

L: Aren’t you going to say anything?

L: Whoa okay settle down-

K: Lance do you… even like me?

L: What?

K: Don’t ‘what’ me you know exactly what I’m talking about.

K: You walk around flirting with any mildly attractive alien we come across and I can’t help but feel like…

L: Like what?

K: Like I’m nothing special to you! Just another person you can flirt with when you feel like it, then move onto the next because it’s no big deal to you

K: d-don’t you know how much I care about you?

K: I-I mean we have arguments and disagreements and I know you’d probably be happy with someone else but to lead me on like this… and for this long.

K: It’s fucking cruel!

K: Is everything that you’ve done just some kind of petty game? Another competition you want to beat me at?! another way you can one up me!?

K: If that’s the case then, you must really hate me! a-and I know this all just might be my fault for forcing things, instead of just letting myself hate you-

K: Too….

jsyk “you are valid” sounds exactly like “jesus loves you” at this point like thanks for that platitude deborah now are we gonna change anything about the situation or just leave it at that

Two Roads Diverged - Benny & Gelert

“The point is to move through your self-doubt.”

~ The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, pg. 203


Gelert was trying to make a decision, and it wasn’t as easy to do as one might’ve thought.  He didn’t enjoy wars, but when one came his way he usually felt bound by his own immortality to enlist.  People were dying for what they believed in.  The least he could do was fight alongside them…and save them if he could.  But this wasn’t just any war…it pitted friend against friend and family against family…and he didn’t know where he stood on the issues at hand.  Then again…maybe he just wasn’t quite ready for so much death and bloodshed so soon after the Revolution.  Well…okay, maybe 80 years wasn’t ‘soon’ to anyone but him, but it felt like the other had just ended…and now this.

He was on his way back North after doing some soul-searching with some friends in New Orleans, but as he traveled he would stop here and there on occasion, doing manual labor for room and board.  It was a good way to get a feel for people’s opinions - see how they felt about what was happening.  It also enabled Gelert to continue ignoring the doubts that kept him from choosing a side.  Maybe he shouldn’t this time.  He was in love with this new, growing nation…hell, he’d fought for it…and the idea of taking part in its unfounding went against all that he was.  But he didn’t want to stand by and do nothing either…

As the blond mulled over his options, a farmhouse came into view.  There was a barn out back - so that meant animals that needed tending, and he saw crops, too.  With so many already taking up arms, surely the people here could use an extra hand.  His doubts could wait a little longer.  Doing his best to look harmless and humble, he made his way up the dirt road, rehearsing in his head the speech he often used when looking for work.