i can see why, this was a little manipulative of you. we are all rooting for you to get to a better place but that kind of behavior is really pretty unkind to inflict on people. asking for help isn't bad, and feeling suicidal or bad isnt bad, but what you did was playing with people's emotions and it's not a nice thing to do to yourself or others.
what the fuck? on what earth did i do that and to who